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You're Not in Trouble
An empowering self-coaching guide to help ADHDers understand, repair, and build healthy relationships—with friends, romantic partners, family, and at work—from ADHD coach Kristen Carder, creator of the I Have ADHD podcast
The demands of relationships on the ADHD brain are taxing. You’re a good person who wants to do right by people, but it seems that no matter how much you contort yourself, you’re still not enough. And somehow, at the same time you’re too much; too loud, too emotional, too impulsive, too messy, too everything.
In You're Not in Trouble, ADHD coach Kristen Carder dives into the five prominent relationships in our friendships, romantic partnerships, parent-child relationships, family-of-origin relationships, and work relationships. She helps you understand ADHD’s impact on your relationships and gives you simple, practical steps to improve them. You’ll learn how
Regulate your emotionsPrioritize your relationshipsUnderstand and communicate your needsUnderstand rejection sensitivity and how to soothe itCultivate connection with yourself and others
This book is a gentle journey into creating rewarding relationships with advice that is tailored for the ADHD brain. Using a trauma-informed approach, it guides you towards making sincere, lasting changes in yourself that will strengthen your connections with others—and help you realize that you are finally enough.
The demands of relationships on the ADHD brain are taxing. You’re a good person who wants to do right by people, but it seems that no matter how much you contort yourself, you’re still not enough. And somehow, at the same time you’re too much; too loud, too emotional, too impulsive, too messy, too everything.
In You're Not in Trouble, ADHD coach Kristen Carder dives into the five prominent relationships in our friendships, romantic partnerships, parent-child relationships, family-of-origin relationships, and work relationships. She helps you understand ADHD’s impact on your relationships and gives you simple, practical steps to improve them. You’ll learn how
Regulate your emotionsPrioritize your relationshipsUnderstand and communicate your needsUnderstand rejection sensitivity and how to soothe itCultivate connection with yourself and others
This book is a gentle journey into creating rewarding relationships with advice that is tailored for the ADHD brain. Using a trauma-informed approach, it guides you towards making sincere, lasting changes in yourself that will strengthen your connections with others—and help you realize that you are finally enough.
Hardcover
About the author
Kristen Carder
2 books3 followersKristen Carder is the host of the I Have ADHD Podcast, a certified trauma-informed life coach, and the founder of FOCUSED: a global coaching program for adults with ADHD. She has supported thousands of adults with ADHD worldwide through her trauma-informed, evidence-based approach to executive functioning, emotional regulation, and healthy relationships.
Kristen is the author of You’re Not in Trouble: The ADHD Guide to Building Healthy, Connected Relationships, published by DK, a division of Penguin Random House. She lives outside Philadelphia with her husband and their three sons.
Kristen is the author of You’re Not in Trouble: The ADHD Guide to Building Healthy, Connected Relationships, published by DK, a division of Penguin Random House. She lives outside Philadelphia with her husband and their three sons.
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
November 4, 2026
An absolute must-listen—not just for ADHD brains, but for all brains!
I loved the concepts in this book, and having the author, Kristen Carder, narrate it herself made it feel like having a heart-to-heart conversation with a close friend who truly gets it.
Although it is specifically aimed at those with ADHD, the mental wellness and relationship concepts are universal. Carder breaks down the material in a way that is remarkably easy to follow, even in an audiobook format. She explores how our brains navigate everything from friendships and work relationships to romantic and family dynamics, offering a trauma-informed framework instead of tired, one-size-fits-all advice.
The relatable stories make the principles stick, and the reflection pieces are invaluable. Plus, the fact that you can download a companion guide to actually apply these concepts takes it from an insightful listen to an actionable toolkit.
Whether you're neurodivergent or just looking to build safer, steadier, and more genuinely connected relationships with the people around you, this 5-star book is well worth your time!
I loved the concepts in this book, and having the author, Kristen Carder, narrate it herself made it feel like having a heart-to-heart conversation with a close friend who truly gets it.
Although it is specifically aimed at those with ADHD, the mental wellness and relationship concepts are universal. Carder breaks down the material in a way that is remarkably easy to follow, even in an audiobook format. She explores how our brains navigate everything from friendships and work relationships to romantic and family dynamics, offering a trauma-informed framework instead of tired, one-size-fits-all advice.
The relatable stories make the principles stick, and the reflection pieces are invaluable. Plus, the fact that you can download a companion guide to actually apply these concepts takes it from an insightful listen to an actionable toolkit.
Whether you're neurodivergent or just looking to build safer, steadier, and more genuinely connected relationships with the people around you, this 5-star book is well worth your time!
November 11, 2026
Couldn’t put this down! I read through it in a few days and am about to start it again and take notes.
November 11, 2026
I enjoyed this book, highly recommend.
November 7, 2026
Incredibly insightful & heartwarming.
November 2, 2026
Great book! Go listen to her podcasts too.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews