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Alice in Wonderland
Alternate cover edition for B00A1CU4HG
When high school math teacher Alice Faye Dahl attends a Texas Hold'em home poker tournament, she doesn't know a royal flush from a toilet flush. Four months and dozens of "wins" later, she's one of the Final Nine--the championship table at the International Poker Tour in Surfer's Paradise, Australia--and way out of her depth.
When a fluke shark attack throws her and sports reporter Lapin "Rabbit" Montgomery together, it seems to challenge the saying “lucky at cards, unlucky at love.” A veteran of the poker circuit (and gorgeous besides), Rabbit offers to help her go all the way to win the multi-million dollar prize, a deal she can't refuse.
In this modern-day twist on Carroll's "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland," Alice discovers much too late that when it comes to poker (and love), sometimes you win, sometimes you lose—and sometimes it's both.
Australia, love, card sharks, belly-aching laughs, real sharks, poker, Wonderland, and a touch of intrigue--there's just no telling what you'll find down the rabbit hole...
When high school math teacher Alice Faye Dahl attends a Texas Hold'em home poker tournament, she doesn't know a royal flush from a toilet flush. Four months and dozens of "wins" later, she's one of the Final Nine--the championship table at the International Poker Tour in Surfer's Paradise, Australia--and way out of her depth.
When a fluke shark attack throws her and sports reporter Lapin "Rabbit" Montgomery together, it seems to challenge the saying “lucky at cards, unlucky at love.” A veteran of the poker circuit (and gorgeous besides), Rabbit offers to help her go all the way to win the multi-million dollar prize, a deal she can't refuse.
In this modern-day twist on Carroll's "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland," Alice discovers much too late that when it comes to poker (and love), sometimes you win, sometimes you lose—and sometimes it's both.
Australia, love, card sharks, belly-aching laughs, real sharks, poker, Wonderland, and a touch of intrigue--there's just no telling what you'll find down the rabbit hole...
325 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 2, 2012
74 people are currently reading
659 people want to read
About the author
Elle Lothlorien
11 books149 followersA “military brat,” Elle Lothlorien was born in Germany and spent her childhood in such far-flung places as Puerto Rico, Charleston, S.C., Italy, and Washington D.C. Sadly, the only language she ever became semi-fluent in is English. She writes romantic comedies that are loose riffs on the popular fairy tales she read as a child–stories she still loves as an adult. Elle’s first self-published romantic comedy, The Frog Prince, became an Amazon bestseller in 2010–a distinction it kept through the summer of 2012 when it peaked at #1 on Amazon’s Top 100 List for Humor. Her female characters are known for their snarky attitude, intelligence, quick wit, and a near-universal lack of interest in designer shoes and haute couture.
Before writing rom-com full-time, Elle worked as an administrator overseeing clinical research studies at the University of Colorado. Her scattershot work history also includes everything from running fire and rescue calls as an EMT to managing movie theaters to locating underground utilities to stay-at-home mom, although she readily admits that getting paid to sit around in her PJs all day dreaming up hot, amazing men who are good enough for her novel’s heroines is, hands-down, the most rewarding job she’s ever had. Elle lives in the Rocky Mountain Foothills, mostly because she’s deathly afraid of man-eating sharks and understands that, while they’ve successfully infiltrated every ocean on the globe, they’ve never quite managed to adapt to mountain living. She keeps a teenage boy and a miniature dachshund named Bacon Bourgeois of Legend around the house to provide comic relief.
If you'd like to know when my next book is on the way, you can sign up HERE . I'll send you an email when a new book is released.
Before writing rom-com full-time, Elle worked as an administrator overseeing clinical research studies at the University of Colorado. Her scattershot work history also includes everything from running fire and rescue calls as an EMT to managing movie theaters to locating underground utilities to stay-at-home mom, although she readily admits that getting paid to sit around in her PJs all day dreaming up hot, amazing men who are good enough for her novel’s heroines is, hands-down, the most rewarding job she’s ever had. Elle lives in the Rocky Mountain Foothills, mostly because she’s deathly afraid of man-eating sharks and understands that, while they’ve successfully infiltrated every ocean on the globe, they’ve never quite managed to adapt to mountain living. She keeps a teenage boy and a miniature dachshund named Bacon Bourgeois of Legend around the house to provide comic relief.
If you'd like to know when my next book is on the way, you can sign up HERE . I'll send you an email when a new book is released.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 76 reviews
January 21, 2016
POSSIBLE SPOILERS THROUGHOUT
9/1 - Overall I'm enjoying this, most of the humour seems to work for me, but I am feeling a little touchy about all the Australia bashing that's going on. I am Australian and I've been to Surfer's Paradise, I have no idea what she was talking about when she said that Australian men don't go to pubs and clubs to meet girls, that they go to meet up with their male friends. That's rubbish! Go to a club tonight and you won't see the guys hanging with each other chatting and ignoring the girls, you'll see them doing everything they can to get the girls' attention, buying them drinks if they think they have a chance and generally making a fool of themselves in the pursuit of going home with her.
During the summer I see shark bite victims on the news at least once a week (from somewhere in the country). The biggest, most vicious animal I've been bitten by is a small housecat and that hurt quite a bit, I in no way believe that a person could be bitten by a shark (even a small shark) and not realise it for some minutes, and only then because she passes out due to extreme blood loss rather than the searing pain of having a chunk torn out of her butt. No way in hell. In fact an Italian boy was bitten by a reef shark in knee deep water on the Great Barrier Reef a few days ago. The shark took a chunk out of his calf and the boy was in surgery within an hour of the attack. From the sound of it she would've needed surgery too, not just a few stitches and two days in hospital. If Lothlorien wanted to create a 'damsel in distress' situation she should have gone with a jelly fish sting, which is actually more likely than a shark bite, still seriously painful and requiring of treatment (although not usually a stay in hospital).
Some of the lines that had me cackling after midnight last night
Page 9
'That's when I notice his freckles. They're barely there at all, just a smattering sprinkled across his tanned nose and cheeks, but I feel the last bit of my conversational brilliance (and decorum) slip away. "Freckle juice," I blurt out.
He looks confused. "'Freckle juice?'"
Ho boy. "The, uh...the book?" I clear my throat. "The children's book, Freckle Juice? I thought it was about how to get freckles." I shrug. "Then I read it. It doesn't tell you."'
LOL!!!!
Same page
'"I like your freckles," I say. "I'd like to see what they look like when they're dry. And spread out over a pillow." Oh, my God, I didn't just say that, did I?'
At that point I had to put my Kindle down to hold my stomach while I howled with laughter, also because I wasn't sure I could go on, knowing the amount of embarrassment she was about to endure. But nothing happens, Rabbit doesn't mention that outrageous statement and the conversation continues.
Now for some editing mistakes
Page 11
'I pull the reigns back - hard - on my urge...'
Wrong spelling, should be reins.
Page 42
'...in one way or the other for the last four years...'
The idiom is one way or another, it's even a Blondie song from 1979.
Page 48
'...your friend's next donkament
I had to look that one up, it seems it's a poker term for a game of poker where everyone starts out with the same number of chips and the players play until someone has won them all. To be continued...
10/1 - Page 85
'"Just an endemic species of poisonous spider that likes to make its home on the underside of toilet seats.'"
Umm, only in dirty, stinky outhouses or public toilets that aren't regularly maintained. Those of us sophisticated enough to have indoor plumbing don't feel the need to check under every toilet seat we come across because they just don't get inside that often (huntsman are worse), you're far more likely to find them hiding in your gumboots at the back door or under a pile of tools you haven't used since last summer.
Page 90
'"Forget it, I can't take it seriously," I say [...] He holds up a pink and purple, rectangular-ish, paper-like item that he's referred to repeatedly and determinedly as "an Australian five-dollar bill". The ones in his other hand are even more absurd, with the green and aquamarine one-hundred-dollar bill the worst offender of the bunch. [...]"...I can't take any currency seriously that looks like belongs in a psychedelic-inspired Special Edition Monopoly box."'
Australian notes may be quite colourful but all that colour, and their plastic texture, make it the hardest currency to counterfeit in the world. The colours make them easier to identify when mixed together in your wallet - pink for $5, blue for $10, orange for $20, olive green for $50, blue green for $100, and they're very difficult to damage without a pair of scissors (like most other plastics, they just don't tear).
Page 116
'Souris was right; the "Graffiti Gallery" of Nambucca is pretty great.'
Ohmigod! I think I'm going to faint, that almost sounded like a compliment directed at Australia.
Page 117
'We both watch as the efflux of water from the river pushes the inbound ocean water around a sandbar...'
According to Wikipedia efflux refers to any flux of ions, molecules or other substances from the intracellular space to the extracellular space. In cell biology, molecular biology and related fields, the word extracellular (or sometimes extracellular space) means "outside the cell". This space is usually taken to be outside the plasma membranes, and occupied by fluid. The term is used in contrast to intracellular (inside the cell). See this page for more details on intracellular space https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrace... and this page for more details on extracellular space https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extrace.... There's way too much information for me to copy it all down here, suffice to say that using the word efflux to describe the currents of the ocean is like giving the weight of a pinch of salt in lbs. or kilograms, nobody describes it like that (and if they do they just sound like they've spent a lot of time reading the words of the dictionary without taking in the definitions).
Page 135
'Even worse, most stretches of the highway are restricted to 60 kilometres per hour...'
No, no they're not. Has Lothlorien actually travelled on an Australian highway?
Same page
'...which is how fast Americans go when we're, like, passing a stopped school bus disembarking small children...'
I don't think that's anything to be proud of. I did a few calculations based on Wikipedia's statistics for Australia's population/road deaths compared to California's population/road deaths. In 2010 Australia had a population of approx. 21 million and had 1248 deaths on the roads. That's 56 deaths per million people. The same year California had a population of approx. 37.3 million and had 2791 deaths on the road. That's 74 deaths per million people. From those figures it seems to me I'd be better off living in a country that does its best to keep the number of dead people on the roads to a minimum. Generally, my opinion is that if idiots want to speed and kill themselves, then let them. Unfortunately, those idiots usually fail to kill only themselves, they usually take some other innocent driver (or one, or more, of their passengers, or a pedestrian with them).
Page 137
'"It's easier for most players to remember that they have 'fives full of kings' than to remember 'I have three fives and two kings'"'
Really!?! A slight rearrangement of the words is enough for a poker player to go from needing to glance at their cards every 30 seconds to one glance per hand?
Page 145
'...in the relatively quiet hamlet of Manly Bay.
Was there any research done for this book at all? There is no Manly Bay. There are Manly Beach, Manly Vale, North Manly, and plain Manly, but no Manly Bay.
Page 163
'"Benin, Comoros, Vanuatu, Seychelles."
I wrinkle my nose. "Are those even real places?"'
Well that just continues to perpetuate the myth (maybe it's a reality, hopefully not) of the stupid American who knows nothing about anywhere other than their own backyard (at least she's not Australian).
Same page
'"I don't know...does Laos count?"
"Isn't that in Asia somewhere?"
He nods. Next to Vietnam and Thailand."
"Why did they send you there? Do you speak, uh..." I have no idea how to turn the country name into a language, so I just let it hang and wait for him to fill it in.
"French?" He grins. "I thought we already established that."
"French? They speak French in Laos?"
"It's a former French colony, so yeah."
(Straight from Wikipedia) The official and dominant language is Lao, a tonal language of the Tai linguistic group. However, only slightly more than half of the population can speak Lao. The remainder, particularly in rural areas, speak ethnic minority languages. French is still commonly used in government and commerce and over a third of Laos' students are educated through the medium of French with French being compulsory for all other students.
Page 183
'"Okay, so English settlers brought rabbits with them to Australia to breed for food and stuff, right? But they escaped and basically started destroying the country, eating the vegetation, that kind of thing. So by the early 1900s, the government was trying to figure out a way to get rid of all the rabbits. Want to hear what their genius plan was?"
"Sure."
"The rabbit-proof fence."
I raise an eyebrow. "A fence? For rabbits? Don't they dig?"
"Yeah, but they jump too. And the fence was above and below the ground."
"How'd that work out for them?"
"Worked out great for the rabbits. Once they learned how to play badminton and got the hang of tennis on the grass, they couldn't remember how they ever lived without it."'
That bit about the rabbits playing badminton she got from a political satire cartoon on the Wikipedia entry for the rabbit-proof fence that was published in 1887 when the idea of the fence was first announced. It actually worked quite well and is still used to this day to restrict the movement of emus (they eat the crops) and packs of wild dogs (they eat the livestock).
This book is really starting to piss me off and I've had to take a star off due to extreme frustration. It was funny to start with, but now I can't see the funny for all the insults. Australians love to laugh at themselves, but this has become cruel (and mostly untrue) mocking. Most of the information Lothlorien's using to get a few laughs in her book is not real or hasn't been real for some decades (the prevalence of red back spiders under toilet seats, for example). I wondered, above, whether any research on my country had gone into the writing of the book. I'm now sure she did do research, she watched Crocodile Dundee, The Rabbit Proof Fence and Home and Away and did a little Wikipedia-ing like I have to write this review, the only difference is that I'm not selling this review, while she is selling this book. I may DNF this tonight, depends on how close I get to destroying the Kindle just to make the book go away. To be continued...
20/1 - I finished this over a week ago but was too sick to get out of bed and definitely too sick to bother continuing a review of a book that never got any better. I could no longer be bothered with making notes all the way through to the end of the book (too much effort for practically zero reward). The following are the last of what I picked up.
Page 187
'"I still think we should just nape the forests...flush 'em out."'
Is that supposed to be rape? Even if it is, the sentence still doesn't make a lot of sense.
Same page
'...I'm not really sure I understand why this is so funny.'
Neither am I. She's talking about the comment above, about nape...I mean raping the forests. I can't see anything funny in the idea of 'raping' a forest in order to kill a bunch of Koalas, psychopaths might find that funny but not me.
Page 214
'"I was just trying to lighten the mood a little before you starting griping."'
That should be started.
Page 227
'He turns on a lamp, illuming a bedroom...'
Sure, illuming means the same thing as 'illuminating', but why would you choose to use a word that is described by The Free Dictionary.com as 'a poetic word for illuminate' when the more recognised form would fit perfectly? Going out of your way to use Scrabble words when the everyday ones would be just fine always makes me think of an author trying to make themselves (or their book) sound intelligent.
Page 258
'"...to figure out how many calories were in a glass of water Down Under."'
Is that meant to be a joke? There are no calories in water, 'Down Under' or anywhere else!
On page 297 two authority figures show up, a man from the 'New South Wales Gaming Control Authority' (they don't exist, but it wasn't hard to look up and find the real policing body is called the NSW Office of Liquor, Gaming and Racing); and a woman from the 'Australian Police Force' (also not real, also not hard to find out that our national police force is called the Australian Federal Police, but then I suppose it would've taken me a few seconds to use the search engine to find that information and that was probably too much work for this author).
The final indictment on this book was that the last 25% of the book was all promotional material for Lothlorien's other books, including the first five chapters of two of her books. I didn't read them on principle, I don't even remember which books they were from. After this book I wouldn't read another book by this author and I'm glad I didn't pay for this one.
9/1 - Overall I'm enjoying this, most of the humour seems to work for me, but I am feeling a little touchy about all the Australia bashing that's going on. I am Australian and I've been to Surfer's Paradise, I have no idea what she was talking about when she said that Australian men don't go to pubs and clubs to meet girls, that they go to meet up with their male friends. That's rubbish! Go to a club tonight and you won't see the guys hanging with each other chatting and ignoring the girls, you'll see them doing everything they can to get the girls' attention, buying them drinks if they think they have a chance and generally making a fool of themselves in the pursuit of going home with her.
During the summer I see shark bite victims on the news at least once a week (from somewhere in the country). The biggest, most vicious animal I've been bitten by is a small housecat and that hurt quite a bit, I in no way believe that a person could be bitten by a shark (even a small shark) and not realise it for some minutes, and only then because she passes out due to extreme blood loss rather than the searing pain of having a chunk torn out of her butt. No way in hell. In fact an Italian boy was bitten by a reef shark in knee deep water on the Great Barrier Reef a few days ago. The shark took a chunk out of his calf and the boy was in surgery within an hour of the attack. From the sound of it she would've needed surgery too, not just a few stitches and two days in hospital. If Lothlorien wanted to create a 'damsel in distress' situation she should have gone with a jelly fish sting, which is actually more likely than a shark bite, still seriously painful and requiring of treatment (although not usually a stay in hospital).
Some of the lines that had me cackling after midnight last night
Page 9
'That's when I notice his freckles. They're barely there at all, just a smattering sprinkled across his tanned nose and cheeks, but I feel the last bit of my conversational brilliance (and decorum) slip away. "Freckle juice," I blurt out.
He looks confused. "'Freckle juice?'"
Ho boy. "The, uh...the book?" I clear my throat. "The children's book, Freckle Juice? I thought it was about how to get freckles." I shrug. "Then I read it. It doesn't tell you."'
LOL!!!!
Same page
'"I like your freckles," I say. "I'd like to see what they look like when they're dry. And spread out over a pillow." Oh, my God, I didn't just say that, did I?'
At that point I had to put my Kindle down to hold my stomach while I howled with laughter, also because I wasn't sure I could go on, knowing the amount of embarrassment she was about to endure. But nothing happens, Rabbit doesn't mention that outrageous statement and the conversation continues.
Now for some editing mistakes
Page 11
'I pull the reigns back - hard - on my urge...'
Wrong spelling, should be reins.
Page 42
'...in one way or the other for the last four years...'
The idiom is one way or another, it's even a Blondie song from 1979.
Page 48
'...your friend's next donkament
I had to look that one up, it seems it's a poker term for a game of poker where everyone starts out with the same number of chips and the players play until someone has won them all. To be continued...
10/1 - Page 85
'"Just an endemic species of poisonous spider that likes to make its home on the underside of toilet seats.'"
Umm, only in dirty, stinky outhouses or public toilets that aren't regularly maintained. Those of us sophisticated enough to have indoor plumbing don't feel the need to check under every toilet seat we come across because they just don't get inside that often (huntsman are worse), you're far more likely to find them hiding in your gumboots at the back door or under a pile of tools you haven't used since last summer.
Page 90
'"Forget it, I can't take it seriously," I say [...] He holds up a pink and purple, rectangular-ish, paper-like item that he's referred to repeatedly and determinedly as "an Australian five-dollar bill". The ones in his other hand are even more absurd, with the green and aquamarine one-hundred-dollar bill the worst offender of the bunch. [...]"...I can't take any currency seriously that looks like belongs in a psychedelic-inspired Special Edition Monopoly box."'
Australian notes may be quite colourful but all that colour, and their plastic texture, make it the hardest currency to counterfeit in the world. The colours make them easier to identify when mixed together in your wallet - pink for $5, blue for $10, orange for $20, olive green for $50, blue green for $100, and they're very difficult to damage without a pair of scissors (like most other plastics, they just don't tear).
Page 116
'Souris was right; the "Graffiti Gallery" of Nambucca is pretty great.'
Ohmigod! I think I'm going to faint, that almost sounded like a compliment directed at Australia.
Page 117
'We both watch as the efflux of water from the river pushes the inbound ocean water around a sandbar...'
According to Wikipedia efflux refers to any flux of ions, molecules or other substances from the intracellular space to the extracellular space. In cell biology, molecular biology and related fields, the word extracellular (or sometimes extracellular space) means "outside the cell". This space is usually taken to be outside the plasma membranes, and occupied by fluid. The term is used in contrast to intracellular (inside the cell). See this page for more details on intracellular space https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrace... and this page for more details on extracellular space https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extrace.... There's way too much information for me to copy it all down here, suffice to say that using the word efflux to describe the currents of the ocean is like giving the weight of a pinch of salt in lbs. or kilograms, nobody describes it like that (and if they do they just sound like they've spent a lot of time reading the words of the dictionary without taking in the definitions).
Page 135
'Even worse, most stretches of the highway are restricted to 60 kilometres per hour...'
No, no they're not. Has Lothlorien actually travelled on an Australian highway?
Same page
'...which is how fast Americans go when we're, like, passing a stopped school bus disembarking small children...'
I don't think that's anything to be proud of. I did a few calculations based on Wikipedia's statistics for Australia's population/road deaths compared to California's population/road deaths. In 2010 Australia had a population of approx. 21 million and had 1248 deaths on the roads. That's 56 deaths per million people. The same year California had a population of approx. 37.3 million and had 2791 deaths on the road. That's 74 deaths per million people. From those figures it seems to me I'd be better off living in a country that does its best to keep the number of dead people on the roads to a minimum. Generally, my opinion is that if idiots want to speed and kill themselves, then let them. Unfortunately, those idiots usually fail to kill only themselves, they usually take some other innocent driver (or one, or more, of their passengers, or a pedestrian with them).
Page 137
'"It's easier for most players to remember that they have 'fives full of kings' than to remember 'I have three fives and two kings'"'
Really!?! A slight rearrangement of the words is enough for a poker player to go from needing to glance at their cards every 30 seconds to one glance per hand?
Page 145
'...in the relatively quiet hamlet of Manly Bay.
Was there any research done for this book at all? There is no Manly Bay. There are Manly Beach, Manly Vale, North Manly, and plain Manly, but no Manly Bay.
Page 163
'"Benin, Comoros, Vanuatu, Seychelles."
I wrinkle my nose. "Are those even real places?"'
Well that just continues to perpetuate the myth (maybe it's a reality, hopefully not) of the stupid American who knows nothing about anywhere other than their own backyard (at least she's not Australian).
Same page
'"I don't know...does Laos count?"
"Isn't that in Asia somewhere?"
He nods. Next to Vietnam and Thailand."
"Why did they send you there? Do you speak, uh..." I have no idea how to turn the country name into a language, so I just let it hang and wait for him to fill it in.
"French?" He grins. "I thought we already established that."
"French? They speak French in Laos?"
"It's a former French colony, so yeah."
(Straight from Wikipedia) The official and dominant language is Lao, a tonal language of the Tai linguistic group. However, only slightly more than half of the population can speak Lao. The remainder, particularly in rural areas, speak ethnic minority languages. French is still commonly used in government and commerce and over a third of Laos' students are educated through the medium of French with French being compulsory for all other students.
Page 183
'"Okay, so English settlers brought rabbits with them to Australia to breed for food and stuff, right? But they escaped and basically started destroying the country, eating the vegetation, that kind of thing. So by the early 1900s, the government was trying to figure out a way to get rid of all the rabbits. Want to hear what their genius plan was?"
"Sure."
"The rabbit-proof fence."
I raise an eyebrow. "A fence? For rabbits? Don't they dig?"
"Yeah, but they jump too. And the fence was above and below the ground."
"How'd that work out for them?"
"Worked out great for the rabbits. Once they learned how to play badminton and got the hang of tennis on the grass, they couldn't remember how they ever lived without it."'
That bit about the rabbits playing badminton she got from a political satire cartoon on the Wikipedia entry for the rabbit-proof fence that was published in 1887 when the idea of the fence was first announced. It actually worked quite well and is still used to this day to restrict the movement of emus (they eat the crops) and packs of wild dogs (they eat the livestock).
This book is really starting to piss me off and I've had to take a star off due to extreme frustration. It was funny to start with, but now I can't see the funny for all the insults. Australians love to laugh at themselves, but this has become cruel (and mostly untrue) mocking. Most of the information Lothlorien's using to get a few laughs in her book is not real or hasn't been real for some decades (the prevalence of red back spiders under toilet seats, for example). I wondered, above, whether any research on my country had gone into the writing of the book. I'm now sure she did do research, she watched Crocodile Dundee, The Rabbit Proof Fence and Home and Away and did a little Wikipedia-ing like I have to write this review, the only difference is that I'm not selling this review, while she is selling this book. I may DNF this tonight, depends on how close I get to destroying the Kindle just to make the book go away. To be continued...
20/1 - I finished this over a week ago but was too sick to get out of bed and definitely too sick to bother continuing a review of a book that never got any better. I could no longer be bothered with making notes all the way through to the end of the book (too much effort for practically zero reward). The following are the last of what I picked up.
Page 187
'"I still think we should just nape the forests...flush 'em out."'
Is that supposed to be rape? Even if it is, the sentence still doesn't make a lot of sense.
Same page
'...I'm not really sure I understand why this is so funny.'
Neither am I. She's talking about the comment above, about nape...I mean raping the forests. I can't see anything funny in the idea of 'raping' a forest in order to kill a bunch of Koalas, psychopaths might find that funny but not me.
Page 214
'"I was just trying to lighten the mood a little before you starting griping."'
That should be started.
Page 227
'He turns on a lamp, illuming a bedroom...'
Sure, illuming means the same thing as 'illuminating', but why would you choose to use a word that is described by The Free Dictionary.com as 'a poetic word for illuminate' when the more recognised form would fit perfectly? Going out of your way to use Scrabble words when the everyday ones would be just fine always makes me think of an author trying to make themselves (or their book) sound intelligent.
Page 258
'"...to figure out how many calories were in a glass of water Down Under."'
Is that meant to be a joke? There are no calories in water, 'Down Under' or anywhere else!
On page 297 two authority figures show up, a man from the 'New South Wales Gaming Control Authority' (they don't exist, but it wasn't hard to look up and find the real policing body is called the NSW Office of Liquor, Gaming and Racing); and a woman from the 'Australian Police Force' (also not real, also not hard to find out that our national police force is called the Australian Federal Police, but then I suppose it would've taken me a few seconds to use the search engine to find that information and that was probably too much work for this author).
The final indictment on this book was that the last 25% of the book was all promotional material for Lothlorien's other books, including the first five chapters of two of her books. I didn't read them on principle, I don't even remember which books they were from. After this book I wouldn't read another book by this author and I'm glad I didn't pay for this one.
December 13, 2012
Overall didn't like it! Moved extremely slowly. But the main turn off was that I am Australian, and felt insulted in EVERY chapter. A few funny bits but overall a big thumbs down...
January 5, 2013
I was well prepared to love this book. Alice is an amateur poker player who someone makes it to the final table of a world poker tournament. I love poker. The story starts with her being terrified of being in the ocean (or any body of water) because she saw Jaws as a kid. Me, too!
Alas, while I liked some of the characters, the plot was too convoluted and there was way too much crying by the heroine. And, an incredible amount of jumping to conclusions followed by a lot of lying and deflection when someone did try to get to the truth of a matter.
Alas, while I liked some of the characters, the plot was too convoluted and there was way too much crying by the heroine. And, an incredible amount of jumping to conclusions followed by a lot of lying and deflection when someone did try to get to the truth of a matter.
April 14, 2013
This started out pretty good, I was intrigued didn't know where he story was going went along for the ride. For me the problem was the gaps of time. One situation was Lapin(Rabbit) has Alice in a compromising kiss, and it seems tat there relationship is going to become intense, and then the paragraph ends and the next page says two days later..... Wait a minute, what? That's it? Yeah that kind of thing happened time and time again, Definitely a G rated book. Otherwise if you take any romantic hope out of this it was well written and I learned a lot about playing poker, more than I personally wanted to know. The plot sort of drug out to me. Had to force myself to finish it because there was no urgency between Alice and Lapin.
January 2, 2013
I would rather give this a 2.5 because all the poker lingo got a bit confusing for me...as did the description of Lapin in his white swimming trunks, white hair and weird eyes--couldn't quite picture him as "gorgeous!" lol Anyway, EL is so inventive though. My favorite part of the book was the beginning, because I can totally relate to the trauma the movie "Jaws" wreaked on my young mind! After that I read on just to see what happened. I am looking forward to Rapunzel and still HIGHLY recommend The Frog Prince.
October 2, 2013
Just went on and on. Odd
June 21, 2020
I could have gone without reading this in my life.
Too many plot jumps, wondering what happened in these holes.
Too many plot jumps, wondering what happened in these holes.
June 22, 2018
Alice Faye Dahl is a math teacher from Colorado, and one of a set of identical triplets. Her triplet sisters are Marlene Dietrich Dahl and Marilyn Monroe Dahl. An older sister is Jean Harlow Dahl and older brother is Clark Gable Dahl. On her first visit to a beach, ever, Alice, despite her lifelong fear of sharks attacking, even is she's in the shallow end of a pool, ventures out into the ocean water and is bitten by a shark. Except she doesn't at first realize that is what happened. She knows she was bumped pretty hard, dropping her phone in the water. Before she passes out on her beach towel, she meets Rabbit, a man with gorgeous eyes. Rabbit turns up before she's released from the hospital. We learn she's in the country for a poker tournament. And she's surprised she's made it this far. Rabbit offers her a safe place to stay until the final tournament begins. Thus begins a strange and wonderful tale including secrets revealed, believing in yourself and others, the Japanese Mafia, Mouse (Rabbit's older sister), trust and trusting in others, and most important, Love. An amazing read for me.
September 19, 2020
Fun read.
This is my 3rd Elle Lothlorien book I've read in as many months. It was fun, sweet, and romantic with enough excitement and adventure to keep me wanting to read more. Although I liked The Frog Prince better, this was a novel I would recommend to anyone who likes romantic comedians.
This is my 3rd Elle Lothlorien book I've read in as many months. It was fun, sweet, and romantic with enough excitement and adventure to keep me wanting to read more. Although I liked The Frog Prince better, this was a novel I would recommend to anyone who likes romantic comedians.
June 6, 2022
3.5*
June 1, 2025
DNF. Lame with an extra side of LAME. I got half way through and quit, and I NEVER quit books.
October 9, 2022
Kindle Edition
July 27, 2015
I have read Elle Lothorien's other 2 books and loved them. This book I give a 3.5. I felt so confused most of the time. The story line was good, but I kept getting confused if Alice and Rabbit were together or fighting. There were constantly fighting or Rabbit was constantly running away because of something. This was a good enough book for me to finish reading and I'm glad I read it once, but I loved her other two books Sleeping Beauty and the Frog Prince. I am really looking forward to her next books and am hoping they are better than this one.
**Spoiler**
So the premise is Alice Fey comes to Australia to win the big Poker tournament and is deathly afraid of sharks. Her first time in the ocean she get a big chunk of her butt bitten off by a shark and had to hobble around with an injury through the whole book.
Rabbit is the one who saves her from the shark and takes her to the hospital and since he has lots of money that seems to have no end he takes her in and gives her a hotel room and makes his sister (Mouse) help him look after Alice.
Rabbit seems to be so concerned with how Alice is doing, but keeps forget about helping her and always gets mad at his sister for not helping her. He forgets about helping Alice a lot more than his sister forgets. Rabbit asks Alice to go with him and his sister on a road trip to Sydney with the 2 week break between the 2 poker tournaments only to cause MORE drama between everyone.
Rabbit is nice and brings one of Alice's triplet sisters over and her brother without knowing the reason the other triplet can't come is because she is dying of leukemia and that is why Alice is trying to win this poker tournament.
Lots of fight happens, an annoying ex girlfriend with a horrible name of Queenie-baby ruins things and tries to kick Alice out of the tournament because her family owns it and she is in the game and doesn't want to loose to Alice more fighting happens and Alice yet again doesn't want to talk to Rabbit, but yet again they get back together again.
In the end Rabbit wins the tournament (shocker I know) Alice and Rabbit are together after Alice's triplet sister pretends to be her in the tournament and everything works out in the end.
If you want a better story read her other 2 books because they were amazing!
**Spoiler**
So the premise is Alice Fey comes to Australia to win the big Poker tournament and is deathly afraid of sharks. Her first time in the ocean she get a big chunk of her butt bitten off by a shark and had to hobble around with an injury through the whole book.
Rabbit is the one who saves her from the shark and takes her to the hospital and since he has lots of money that seems to have no end he takes her in and gives her a hotel room and makes his sister (Mouse) help him look after Alice.
Rabbit seems to be so concerned with how Alice is doing, but keeps forget about helping her and always gets mad at his sister for not helping her. He forgets about helping Alice a lot more than his sister forgets. Rabbit asks Alice to go with him and his sister on a road trip to Sydney with the 2 week break between the 2 poker tournaments only to cause MORE drama between everyone.
Rabbit is nice and brings one of Alice's triplet sisters over and her brother without knowing the reason the other triplet can't come is because she is dying of leukemia and that is why Alice is trying to win this poker tournament.
Lots of fight happens, an annoying ex girlfriend with a horrible name of Queenie-baby ruins things and tries to kick Alice out of the tournament because her family owns it and she is in the game and doesn't want to loose to Alice more fighting happens and Alice yet again doesn't want to talk to Rabbit, but yet again they get back together again.
In the end Rabbit wins the tournament (shocker I know) Alice and Rabbit are together after Alice's triplet sister pretends to be her in the tournament and everything works out in the end.
If you want a better story read her other 2 books because they were amazing!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 25, 2013
Maybe 3.5 stars...
I definitely didn't like this one as well as The Frog Prince. But I don't know if that's because of the crazy, 'Wonderland' nature of this book. The author did a wonderful job of putting into writing the randomness that is Wonderland. I often felt disoriented and lost, but in an awe-inspiring kind of way. In my opinion, that's exactly how you should feel when you experience Wonderland...just not sure I loved feeling that way.
Now having said all of that, Rabbit, the leading man, didn't make me swoon. Sorry. He did get better towards the end, though. I think that might be the reason I didn't quite connect with this story. When I place myself in the heroine's shoes, I want to swoon more...I didn't like feeling confused and unsure the entire time.
So, although the author succeeded in writing this crazy, mixed-up, upside-down, inside-out world, I just didn't love it. I think that's just the traditional, hopeless romantic in me. And this is not a traditional book! :)
For the more sensitive reader...There was some (not much) swearing, including a few extreme words.
I definitely didn't like this one as well as The Frog Prince. But I don't know if that's because of the crazy, 'Wonderland' nature of this book. The author did a wonderful job of putting into writing the randomness that is Wonderland. I often felt disoriented and lost, but in an awe-inspiring kind of way. In my opinion, that's exactly how you should feel when you experience Wonderland...just not sure I loved feeling that way.
Now having said all of that, Rabbit, the leading man, didn't make me swoon. Sorry. He did get better towards the end, though. I think that might be the reason I didn't quite connect with this story. When I place myself in the heroine's shoes, I want to swoon more...I didn't like feeling confused and unsure the entire time.
So, although the author succeeded in writing this crazy, mixed-up, upside-down, inside-out world, I just didn't love it. I think that's just the traditional, hopeless romantic in me. And this is not a traditional book! :)
For the more sensitive reader...There was some (not much) swearing, including a few extreme words.
April 16, 2013
This book started strong. It had some decent humor in the beginning along with a cute premise and delightful quirky characters, but the plot descended into tedious annoyance. It's one thing to hold back a little information to keep people reading; it's another to just have a main character blindly follow strangers around and fall in love with some guy without giving any real reason for it.
If the same care the author put into explaining the basics of poker were taken into explaining a little bit more of the reasons why the heck the main character and the love interest actually fall in love (or does anything post shark bite), the book could have been good. I powered through to the end of the book hoping the initial promise would pay off, but it didn't happen.
I revised my review from 2 to 3 stars for inventiveness. It just baffles me that someone who can write good jokes, make really weird situations like creating a believable context for a real life Queen of Hearts, sketch out a nice framework for quirky characters, and then BLOW the LOVE STORY and some of the more BASIC plot points.
If the same care the author put into explaining the basics of poker were taken into explaining a little bit more of the reasons why the heck the main character and the love interest actually fall in love (or does anything post shark bite), the book could have been good. I powered through to the end of the book hoping the initial promise would pay off, but it didn't happen.
I revised my review from 2 to 3 stars for inventiveness. It just baffles me that someone who can write good jokes, make really weird situations like creating a believable context for a real life Queen of Hearts, sketch out a nice framework for quirky characters, and then BLOW the LOVE STORY and some of the more BASIC plot points.
April 23, 2013
Alice in wonderland
Australia, love, card sharks, laughs, real sharks, poker, Wonderland, and a touch of intrigue--there's just no telling what you'll find down the rabbit hole...This is a story that follows the fortunes of Alice Fay Dahl, a high-school math teacher who has blown through her savings to travel to Australia to participate in a high-stakes poker tournament. It zigzags so energetically and unexpectedly, it feels a lot like the original 'Alice's' chaotic journey through Wonderland.
I'm a hug fairy tale fan and I really love to fine books that take the fairy tale and do twists on the original storyline, especially modern day ones, anybody can re-tell a well known fairy tale, but it is a gift to be able to take a story we've all heard and parallel it to a life-like scenario using details that are undeniable to the original story but turning them into something like real life fairy tale.
The romance is on the light side I would consider this G rated story
But that's ok cause Alice and Rabbit are on a chaotic journey through Wonderland.
Australia, love, card sharks, laughs, real sharks, poker, Wonderland, and a touch of intrigue--there's just no telling what you'll find down the rabbit hole...This is a story that follows the fortunes of Alice Fay Dahl, a high-school math teacher who has blown through her savings to travel to Australia to participate in a high-stakes poker tournament. It zigzags so energetically and unexpectedly, it feels a lot like the original 'Alice's' chaotic journey through Wonderland.
I'm a hug fairy tale fan and I really love to fine books that take the fairy tale and do twists on the original storyline, especially modern day ones, anybody can re-tell a well known fairy tale, but it is a gift to be able to take a story we've all heard and parallel it to a life-like scenario using details that are undeniable to the original story but turning them into something like real life fairy tale.
The romance is on the light side I would consider this G rated story
But that's ok cause Alice and Rabbit are on a chaotic journey through Wonderland.
September 30, 2013
This book is one of those you can't decide if you like it or not.
Because it isn't awful and it does have great moments and plenty of humor but then it gets all twisty and bogged down with different plot points and then just when you think okay it just an alright book it picks up again and you are actually excited to see how it ends.
I did have a bit of a problem with the 'romance'. That was slow moving too. It was more of yes, there is an attraction and we will kind of sort of act on it but then we will back off again.
I'm sure I will read other books by this author because I really did enjoy another one of hers, The Frog Prince.
Because it isn't awful and it does have great moments and plenty of humor but then it gets all twisty and bogged down with different plot points and then just when you think okay it just an alright book it picks up again and you are actually excited to see how it ends.
I did have a bit of a problem with the 'romance'. That was slow moving too. It was more of yes, there is an attraction and we will kind of sort of act on it but then we will back off again.
I'm sure I will read other books by this author because I really did enjoy another one of hers, The Frog Prince.
September 25, 2013
This is an unsolicited review.
I read "The Frog Prince" and loved it, and decided to read "Alice in Wonderland" next and I was not disappointed in the least. I learned so much about one of my favorite places I would love to visit on the planet, Australia, and about poker, a game I have played before at parties but never to the degree Alice does in this book. It blew me away. I was immediately sucked in with the characters, the setting, the drama, the strategy, and the pace of the book. In short, Ms. Lothlorien, you had me at sharkbite. This was a great trip down the rabbit hole. Thanks for the ride. :)
I read "The Frog Prince" and loved it, and decided to read "Alice in Wonderland" next and I was not disappointed in the least. I learned so much about one of my favorite places I would love to visit on the planet, Australia, and about poker, a game I have played before at parties but never to the degree Alice does in this book. It blew me away. I was immediately sucked in with the characters, the setting, the drama, the strategy, and the pace of the book. In short, Ms. Lothlorien, you had me at sharkbite. This was a great trip down the rabbit hole. Thanks for the ride. :)
December 12, 2012
This had an interesting premise, but just didn't fully deliver. Loved the twist on Alice and the characters were fun and quirky, but the story lacked depth and originality. The ending was prosaic.
The writing had difficulties with portraying visual aspects of the story. It was almost like visualizing a memory someone had rather than creating a world. The novel just seemed a bit rushed and under developed.
But, I still enjoyed it.
The writing had difficulties with portraying visual aspects of the story. It was almost like visualizing a memory someone had rather than creating a world. The novel just seemed a bit rushed and under developed.
But, I still enjoyed it.
April 14, 2013
Even though I'm really unfamiliar with poker jargon, I think I enjoyed this book even more than the Frog Prince! The only tank I disliked, which I disliked about the Frog Prince as well, I sometimes I don't seem to understand why the main character is freaking out. Might just be me... Regardless, I'm a hug fairy tale lover and really love twists on the original storyline, especially modern day ones! Def would like to read her other books!
April 12, 2015
A bit drifty....
While I enjoy Elle Lothloriens quirky style of writing and vivid characters this book just didn't appeal to me. It dragged in places and I skim read sections that seemed to make no sense and bored me because I have no understanding or interest in how the game of poker is played. She tended to get carried away with the mechanics of the game and the terminology which for a light comedy was not what I was expecting.
While I enjoy Elle Lothloriens quirky style of writing and vivid characters this book just didn't appeal to me. It dragged in places and I skim read sections that seemed to make no sense and bored me because I have no understanding or interest in how the game of poker is played. She tended to get carried away with the mechanics of the game and the terminology which for a light comedy was not what I was expecting.
September 7, 2015
Another great read from Elle Lotharian with this humorous romantic take on Alice in Wonderland. This dairy tale twist went a bit further than her others but not so far as to be unknowable. My only complaint was that some of the basic poker info was off and since it seemed like overall she'd tried to research that info it was surprising that she missed the mark on explaining something so basic as an ante.
August 5, 2016
This is another book I picked up after hearing about it from the Bookbub email. I had previously read "The Frog Prince" by the author. While I enjoyed that book, it took me a bit to get into it. This one sucked me in from the start. There are lots of twists that keep you guessing on who is good or bad. It's a fun read if you are looking for something light but constantly moving.
February 4, 2013
A sexy skillfully wrought romantic comedy coming out of the screwball tradition of It Happened One Night and Bringing up Baby but set against the backdrop of the World Poker Tournament. It's funny, it's sexy, it's cute. And it doesn't talk down to the reader. Elle Lothlorien's work is smart and revolutionary.
April 16, 2013
This was such a hysterical contemporary romance, and a brilliant play off the classic.
I was laughing throughout the entire book; loving the banter between Rabbit and Mouse, Rabbit and Faye, and "the dolls."
Lothlorien is such a talented, witty, and creative writer/author. I've really enjoyed reading her work.
I was laughing throughout the entire book; loving the banter between Rabbit and Mouse, Rabbit and Faye, and "the dolls."
Lothlorien is such a talented, witty, and creative writer/author. I've really enjoyed reading her work.
July 7, 2013
Clever, clever! Sometimes tongue in cheek, sometimes sneaky, and at times blatantly making fun, Elle Lothlorien wove a highly entertaining story playing on the old classic. I liked the personalities of the characters and the twists and turns of the story. I suspect I could read the book again and pick up on things I missed the first time and enjoy the story just as much.
May 22, 2013
This book was a wonderful "light" read. Nothing too dramatic or heavy, yet kept you wanting more. It was a nice modern twist on the classic story of Alice in Wonderland complete with a white rabbit and the Queen of Hearts. Though this book did center around poker (not my fav. topic) it was mixed in well as not to get too deep into it or to bore the reader.
July 23, 2013
Read the Frog Prince and LOVED it. Just feel "eh" about this book. Don't get me wrong, it was cute, and funny at times. However, it seemed to drag on with all the Poker Jargon. I was ready to start beating my head trying to keep up with the phrasing. Good book and story otherwise, and a cute twist on Alice in Wonderland.
April 16, 2014
This was a quick lighthearted read. I chose it from the list as an Amazon Prime member because the leading lady is a math teacher. There is some mystery & intrigue, though the leading man is too good to be true. I thought the author did a good job of explaining poker enough for me to follow...that is one card game I don't know how to play.
May 17, 2014
I thoroughly enjoyed the romp through Wonderland-Down-Under. The only reason why I didn't give it a five-star is that the plot got so convoluted that I got lost on who was who and on whose side from time to time. That aside, I had a smile on my face every time I picked it up to read. Well done Ms. Lothlorien!
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