Beyond Bullying: Breaking the Cycle of Shame, Bullying, and Violence

by Jonathan Fast

The first book to integrate shame research into a single overarching theory

· Why are some kids magnets for bullying?
· Why do gay teens commit suicide four times as frequently as "straight" teens?
· Why do we have more men and women in prison than any other country in the world?
· Why are school shootings and acts of domestic terrorism on the rise?

What could possibly be the theme that ties all of these questions together, which provides a window into so many aspects of the darker aspects of human behavior? In a word, shame.
Shame is a powerful and complex emotion, capable of producing dramatic reactions from even the most mild-mannered people. While shame can be employed in positive ways, such as teaching children good manners, other types of shame can be devastating, or even lethal. However, few people truly understand the role of shame in acts of bullying, violence, and discrimination.

In Beyond Bullying: Breaking the Cycle of Shame, Bullying, and Violence, veteran professor of social work Jonathan Fast deftly weaves together research from the fields of psychology, sociology, economics, and history to create a single overarching theory of shame. The book introduces the concept of "weaponized shame," a toxic and intentional attack on another person, noting that weaponized shame is often at the heart of bullying situations. With clear, straightforward language, Dr. Fast traces the nuances of shame through several common types of bullying, highlighting bullying based on sexuality, gender, and race. Noting the pervasive presence of weaponized shame in American culture, Beyond Bullying extends shame theory to acts of domestic violence, racism, school shootings, and domestic terrorism. The issues that cause bullying are not limited to the schoolyard, but rather are responsible for horrific acts of violence across the nation.

Beyond mere theory, the book provides concrete suggestions for healthy ways of dealing with shame, including techniques for diffusing potentially harmful situations. An invaluable resource for parents of bullied children, Beyond Bullying will also appeal to teachers, counselors, and social workers.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology

256 pages, Hardcover

First published October 29, 2015

Reviews

[Kellie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have to admit that the only reason I was not so excited about school starting this year was because I'd have less time to read this and Fall of Giants. I finally finished this one, and am thankful to the publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read it.

As an educator in today's world, I'm always immediately intrigued whenever someone presents a fresh take on bullying, as Jonathan Fast has done here. I've read many scholarly articles on the subject, as well as a handful of books, and this is the first one that has approached bullying as a means of processing shame.

The book itself reads well, and is obviously thoroughly researched - the notes at the end of each chapter are almost overwhelming.
There were a few times, however, when I found myself wondering how exactly a particular topic or chapter related. I think, because of the title, I was also hoping for more concrete tips for managing shame in a more constructive way. "Breaking the Cycle" implies a solution, to me, and I didn't find that here.

I did find many, many interesting and relevant examples of different types of bullying or abuse, and I think reading this book will make it a bit easier to approach bullying (bullies and bullied) with more humanity and understanding.

I wish that there were more of a conclusion. The book as I read it lacked a wrap-up chapter, which left me scanning through the end notes looking for something that wasn't there.

A worthwhile read for teachers and school personnel, if only for the different approach.

[Aran · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must-read for anyone seeking to understand why people act out in destructive ways, whether that's bullying, suicides, self-harm, mass shootings, hate crimes, interpersonal/domestic violence, etc.

The book is invaluable for folks working with perpetrators and/or people who self-harm, and most importantly focuses on the need for restorative (rather than retributive) justice to end cycles of shame and violence.

Well researched with clear citations, his book will definitely positively influence my practice theory and wisdom both independently and as a jumping off point to deeper research into shame theory.

This book is well-written, well-structured and a relatively pleasant read given its topic. 5/5

[Dan Desmarques · Rating 5 out of 5]

A realistic book that gives us the real source of discrimination in society and throughout history.

[Benoit Lelièvre · Rating 2 out of 5]

I bought that book based on the title and recommendation from websites claiming it was one of the best book about bullying out there and... well, it's not really a book about bullying?

There is some super pertinent information on bullying in the first two chapters. About the brain chemistry of kids and how shame is such a controlling emotion. That is great. That taught me something and this is why this book doesn't have a one star rating. But starting from there, this book becomes a sociological analysis of how bullying is a catalyst for every form of violence perpetrated by white men around the world. Not that I disagree with that, but I don't really think Unabomber has anything to do with older kids dunking my head in the toilet when I was 14? Neither does the murder of Matthew Shepard, who was victim of a gruesome homophobic murder from people he met that night. That's torture and murder driven by intense homophobia, not mere bullying.

I'm ready to believe forms of bullying and social dominance end up creating dire circumstances that lead to murder, but the way it is presented here and it is painted unilaterally is quite thin. Also I'm nowhere nearer to reconciling with my teenage years. I ain't breaking the cycle of anything, anytime soon.

[Victoria Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Beyond Bullying: Breaking the Cycle of Shame, Bullying, and Violence" by Jonathan Fast, is so profound and well-researched I referred it to others I know working with students, parents and teachers in schools and other academic environments, because it's an excellent guide for dealing with this serious issue. Intense and heart-wrenching, although it took me a long time to get through all of the case studies and anecdotes, I understand the need to delve deeply into this subject.
The section about the Unabomber particularly stuck with me,and reminded me why our society, should pay closer attention to the warning signs from potential bullies. Something as simple as name calling, exclusion and heckling can lead to more serious issues, for the victims, from suicide to retaliation which is why they should be addressed earlier rather than later. Through the tips and information offered in this book, by Fast, hopefully those who read it will be more proactive in eradicating this problem.

[Karla · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a hard read. Not to understand, but to absorb and try not to let it get to you. As a teacher, the school shooting hit home. The Bath incident is also described in detail, and as a life-long resident of Michigan we hadn't learned about that in school. I've been teaching since children were told to stay in the library. As a parent, my children underwent active shooter training at school.
It was good to see the restorative justices mentioned at the close of this text. There is hope. We can and should do more to stop the senseless violence.