Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living

by Jes Baker

Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls is a manifesto and call to arms for women of all sizes and ages. With smart and spirited eloquence, veteran blogger Jes Baker calls on women to be proud of their bodies, fight against fat-shaming, and embrace a body-positive worldview to change public perceptions and help women maintain mental health. With the same straightforward tone that catapulted her to national attention when she wrote a public letter addressing the sexist comments of Abercrombie & Fitch's CEO, Jes shares personal experiences along with in-depth research in a way that is approachable, digestible, and empowering. Featuring notable guest authors, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls is an invitation for all women to reject fat prejudice, learn to love their bodies, and join the most progressive, and life-changing revolution there the movement to change the world by loving their bodies.

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, Self Help, Audiobook, Memoir, Mental Health, Health

256 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 9, 2015

About the author

Jes Baker is a positive, progressive, and magnificently irreverent force to be reckoned with in the realm of self-love advocacy and mental health. She believes in the importance of body autonomy, hard conversations, strong coffee, and even stronger language.

After creating satirical versions of Abercrombie & Fitch advertisements in 2013, she appeared on the Today Show and quickly became one of the leading voices in the current body image movement.

When not writing, Jes spends her time speaking around the world, working with plus size clothing companies, organizing body liberation events, taking pictures in her underwear and attempting to convince her cats that they like to wear bow ties.

Learn more about Jes at www.TheMilitantBaker.com

Reviews

[Phoenix Perpetuale · Rating 3 out of 5]

Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls by Jes Baker is about body image and awareness of its beauty, no matter how much the weight scale shows. Everyone deserves to know what is written in this book. I have listened to it on the Audible app—three stars to the author, who also narrated the release. Eating Disorders and other topics as historical facts from eighteen years of till nowadays, how we see obesity and how persons can see himself? I am a person who is no stranger to diet and sport. Jo-Jo effect "survival." From 2 XL to M/S. So this convoy to this book was so great that it felt like the person who wrote this book was open about her personal experience and the advice she gained within years

[Emma Sea · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book is fine, and great if you're new to the body positivity movement. I'm just sad that it's 25 years since Unbearable Weight: Feminism, Western Culture, and the Body and we're still having to say the same things over and over again.

[XxTainaxX Curvy and Nerdy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Empowering and honest look at size culture and body love. I enjoyed and felt motivated by Jess' perspective and appreciate the research and analysis she brought to the table. She made some excellent points and covered a vast number of topics from what we expected to beyond... including mental health, education of children, and gender identification. Thoroughly enjoyable and she did great with the narration ;)

[Jenny (Reading Envy) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an early review copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. I say early because after I downloaded it I saw the author posting about making another round of edits to it!

I have followed Jes Baker ever since she was "just" a blogger over on the Militant Baker. Back then I think she blogged about baking sometimes, but I soon discovered that she was discovering a different sort of voice. I continue to follow her these days more on her Instagram account, where she continues to link to amazing people and live her life fearlessly, from her ongoing "I Wear What I Want" series to the time she took on the guy in charge at Abercrombie & Fitch with a sexy photo shoot.

Jes has become a prominent voice in the body-love movement, and she does a good job bringing her own experiences together with voices and experts from other segments of the movement in this book. I liked the occasional essays from people who have different focus and training because she allows their voices to be heard as well. Jes writes in a very casual tone but the research is solid and accounted for, which I appreciated.

One of the most interesting ideas for me in this book, because I had not considered it in this way, was the thought that body shaming just might be one more way of keeping women from grabbing what should belong to them in society. She has numerous examples of encountering this behavior online, since she has chosen to live so far into the public eye.

"Fat women who deliberately take up space, speak out, and achieve the happiness we all desire are the perfect trifecta of terror. They represent a terror that we can't control, and so we throw our hate at them by the handful in hopes that they quiet down, shut up, and get back in line.

I think for most women, these voices are pretty powerful. It can be refreshing to contemplate a different, more fearless way of thinking. To take up space. To live your life, without apologies.

[Mellow · Rating 1 out of 5]

Why did I read this book? Because I wanted to challenge my opinions, to see things from a different perspective, who knows, maybe I'll change my mind about obesity. Fortunately, this did not happen. The writer is so full of herself, thinking like she's some kind of a super hero coming to save us from "fatphobia" and "healthism". Then she goes on to compare obesity to race, disability and sexual/gender identity, which is offensive to anyone who falls under these categories. You can't control those things, but you CAN control your weight. I'm not saying that your weight should be a determinant of your worth, but it is a determinant of your health. And no amount of "self love" will prevent your arteries from getting clogged and your pancreas from getting exhausted. If the writer channeled the energy she put to write this sad book into being healthier and eating better, there wouldn't be a need for it in the first place.

[Abby Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I had this book 10 years ago and I want to hand it to anyone who is having or has had issues with body image, particularly fat girls.

The essays in this book that particularly struck home for me were the essay about fat girls finding love (yes! It happens! All the time!) and about plus-size fashion. 10 years ago, I truly believed that I wasn't worthy of romantic love because of the size of my body. And my path to body acceptance began a number of years ago when I first discovered that some companies did make cute clothes for plus-sized women and that I could wear all the things if I wanted.

Even for someone like myself who has already started the path towards body acceptance, there are some great points and resources in this book. Highly recommended for all interested parties.

[Meaghan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think I'm just not the fat girl Jes is writing for. Although shelved in the adult non-fiction at my library, I think this more appropriately belongs in our teen section. Most of the advice is advice that I probably could have used in high-school, maybe college. But as an adult, it was all old news. Some of it was more interesting like health becoming our latest beauty trend.

For me, the majority of the book read like a conspiracy theory. As an adult, I have rarely experienced discrimination because of my size. On the occasion that I did, I just assumed that that particular person is terrible. Not that I am terrible. I have always had skinny boyfriends except once and that turned out to be my worst relationship! Jes is saying conquer the world, but her requirements for doing so are normal, everyday living, which I have never found hard, even when I was 275.

And, finally, I think Jes is misinformed about diet and exercise. For example, when she talks about how fat people should challenge the idea that they shouldn't run or jump - that is for safety purposes! It isn't discrimination. If you run or jump with a lot of weight above your knees, you will injure yourself, and this is coming from experience as well as advice from a personal trainer. This is a good example of how overly sensitive this book can be - not everything is a challenge or discrimination. Some things have merit. Some things just are.

I still gave the book three stars because I think many people could benefit from it, and there were some good ideas here. I definitely learned a couple of things, too. I just really thought a book for fat girls would speak to me, a fat girl, and it did not.

[Ang · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ooof, I hate Jes Baker's writing. I really hate her tone. I've tried, because I really appreciate her message, but yeah, it's a no-go for me.

That said, the message is great. Her take on the cult of health is right on, and her take on "flattering" and what we wear is pretty much brilliant.

But oh god, the writing. Oh man. So bad. I would say, pick and choose what you read in this book, and ignore the ick factor of the writing. (And read Virgie Tovar's essay. SO GOOD.)

[Shelley Pearson · Rating 5 out of 5]

At first, I thought this book was just ok, and I felt like it was a good intro to body positivity, but I'm so far beyond that. But as I kept going, I started to love it. I had it on audiobook, read by the author, and it was wonderful to have Jes in my ear telling me "You're perfect just the way you are" and listing all the things I deserve in life. I started getting really into it during the chapter about doctors and how you have the right to change doctors if you don't like the way they treat you. I like how insistent she is that you know what is right for yourself and her unwavering encouragement to trust yourself. I thought she tried really hard to be inclusive, and I liked that she included other writer's pieces about their own experiences being disabled, trans and non-white, instead of trying to cover every different perspective herself. She included a ton of quotes and references and covered a lot of topics. I also liked that she talked about her own insecurities and how she deals with them.

[Debbie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'd give this zero stars if I could. A bunch of HAES crap.

[Ginny Nemchick · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an accessible, fun, easy-to-read overview of body positivity, media, and self-love. A definite to-read for anyone who is interested in these topics, even if you're already familiar with them, I think it's great to have a whole book where it's all in one place. I appreciate the nods to intersectionality throughout, including lots of guest essays throughout the books on topics like colorism and transmasculinity. I also like that she talked lot about the process of re-learning and re-training yourself, even calling out the cover of her own book as an example of something that fit into narrowly defined beauty standards.

[Kate · Rating 1 out of 5]

My criticism of this book is limited here to its poor workmanship.

- Citations are few and far between. Most glaringly, Chapter 4 is entitled "Fat and Health," wherein Baker argues that obesity is not connected to one's overall health. This is a pretty controversial statement given most medical research and one I have a very hard time swallowing. Yet Baker does not give any citations for this statement - only asks the reader to take her word for it and Google the title of an article to see what she's talking about. This is an issue throughout the parts of the book I skimmed; very few citations are given for any of the statements she makes. It is an academic's nightmare.

- There is no index. A book like this, offering a general overview on a subject, should have an index so that people can easily find information about specific topics within the overarching one.

- The author's voice is childish, littered with "OMG!" and "Yaaaaassss gurl!" and F-bombs that make me feel like I'm reading a Buzzfeed or Cracked article rather than an honest to goodness book. I know this book is self-help/inspirational, but other books in this genre manage to maintain a professional tone.

- The book is written in a rambling, stream of consciousness style, with references to comics and other visuals, that is better suited to a blog (Baker's usual medium). I found it difficult to follow and became easily bored because Baker had trouble staying on topic and providing backup for her statements (see first bullet).

Did not finish.

[Jess · Rating 1 out of 5]

Couldn't finish. This book had some good idea, but there was so much hatred to men, religion and just random ideas it was too much to read. Half of the book is just her swearing and giant font. The other half is mixing up history and facts. There was several times that she listed history which was just here making up random things about timelines that made no sense. No facts, too much feelings. This lady needs to talk to a therapist or maybe even go to a church because she is holding onto so much anger and bitterness but claims to be "happy"

[Jacqie Wheeler · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good book for someone who doesn't know anything about plus-size rep (me). I learned alot from this book, but at times it was annoying how much she hated on people for being healthy or enjoying exercise. I know that now a days, being "healthy" is the new term for "skinny" but I also think its ok if I'm overweight, and want to change my diet to lose some pounds. Not every plus size person needs to be happy in their skin.

[Coleen (The Book Ramblings) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls is a must read, regardless of gender, size, or age, because it will touch anyone who reads it, and it is a book that needs to be read. This is a witty novel that is so important to people today, for body love, and accepting who we are as individuals in this world. There are pages of ideas, and tips that everyone will find helpful, but also affirmations, and ways to boost confidence. The title should not fool anyone, because Baker is speaking for and to every person who has felt self-conscious about their body, whether it be size, shape, age, ability, and so forth.
As someone who has come a long way from where I was years ago, I wish I had this book available when I was going through those years without guidance, or without any self-love, because it would have made such a difference in my progress. Even now, as someone who has evolved, and discovered body love, and accepting who I am for everything that makes me me, I like to still pick up this book now and then as a reminder.

I received this book in exchange for an honest review, all opinions are my own.

[chantel nouseforaname · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heavy. All the pun intended.

It's funny because it took me sooooo long to read this book. I picked it up and put it down and picked it up and put it down. I think it was because - emotionally, I wasn't ready for what I was reading.

There's so much skepticism that lives in my heart for white women telling other women, at diverse intersections, how to live. It's hard for me to get behind. I shouldn't think like that, but I do.

When it comes to white women giving advice about how to navigate the similarties in life that we may share but experience so differently, like being plus-size and being of different races/ethnicities, it always feels like white women are encouraging you to "be like them", to "kick it" in their recently conceptualized bravery; ignoring the fact that they have the protection of whiteness as a shield. It's fucked that I think that way when receiving "self-help/advice" in this manner from a book.. but when I'm reading, context never escapes me for a second. It really proved to be a huge hurdle for me when I started reading Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls.

Real talk tho, I'm super fucking glad that I was eventually able to jump over this hurdle. There was so much to experience on the other side of my initial interactions with this book. There are important, relatable, encouraging discussions that transcend race, gender and sexual orientation in here. Jes Baker is such a good writer. Her use of guest writers brought in some of the different perspectives and voices crucial to making a book like this a success. I appreciated her lack of bullshit and the hard work you can tell she put in.

I've low-key been trying to read Hanne Blank's book on exercise as well. I ain't there yet, but I do plan on getting there in the future. This book is definitely a stepping stone to that one. Jes Baker cites Hanne Blank's exercise book as some shit fat women should read and I know it's another dope read but I swear, these are difficult concepts for me to get through from writers that only share one or two intersectional dynamics with me (plus size & female). The different dynamics that non-POC writers miss, have lead to a world of different treatment they can't account for but that many other races can account for that shape their lives greatly (for example: the continuously expected role of mammyism a lot of plus size black women experience).. These topics are where representation is needed and it's crucial. It's work to incorporate those various voices sometimes into short books, but Jes Baker did not cut corners; she had guest essays in here from women and men who make up the non-white, non-cishet, boxy non-hourglass, fat and of size writers. I respect that and it really helped me out.

Anyway, I say all the aforementioned shit to say that even though it was hard as fuck to get through this book for me emotionally; I'm glad that I did. It's such a well-written, uplifting and realistic book for women, men and gender non-conforming people of size to read. ESPECIALLY if you've spent years alone, finding and carving out your space on this earth and fighting your way to a comfortable place in your own life. Everyone, every single person, has body issues that they have had to work through, big, small, short, tall, fat or slim - but it's that fighting your way through to the other side, to self-satisfaction, that's that real work. It's not to be undervalued. There was real world advice in this shit, there was usable advice. How to pick yourself up when you feel like shit. How not to ignore your mental health. How to take care of yourself. How to develop pride and find community. That shit is what makes this a five-star read. REAL WORLD SHIT. I fucks with it, heavy.

I think that the main thing that no one will tell fat girls is that you may have to fight tooth and nail for self-love in a world that hates you and still sees fat bodies as the thing that is still acceptable to openly hate in the world, no matter where you fall in the vast variety of intersections (race, gender, class, religious background, etc.). Self-love and a piece of mind is something that you'll have to fight for but it's fucking worth it. It's worth it to be happy and to live a happy life at the end of the day. Fuck what everyone else says.. go out and break through all those barriers. Get on the swing, bounce on a dick, put on your bikini, throw down the towel at the beach, take up two fucking seats on the bus, breathe up all the air, run, and jump and do whatever. Sometimes, even though we should already know that we're allowed to live, you need a book exactly like this one, written so well, to remind you to go get out there and do it.

I recommend you read this shit fam. It's lit.

[Leigh Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

The fat-positive, foul-mouthed, intersectional body-love manifesto you've been looking for.

Baker (as in "The Militant) delivers a solid body of research and practices for making peace with your body just the way it is, particularly if it doesn't fit into the narrow range of acceptable you see all over the media. What sets this book apart from others of its kind is its range and inclusivity. Chapters on health at every size, advertising, mental health coping strategies, fashion, and other pertinent topics are interspersed with guest essays from people whose queer, disabled, or brown bodies posess experience and expertise different from Baker's own (it's nice when somebody with a publishing contract makes space in her book for underrepresented voices). There's also an extensive resource guide in the back for folks looking for body-positive websites, blogs, and Facebook pages, and if you're interested in the source material you can follow the many, many footnotes Baker provides.

Baker's tone is fun, confident, smart, and self-aware. The number of fucks she gives about persuading a hostile audience is less than zero: this is a book for women struggling to love themselves, especially those of the internet age for whom netspeak, all-caps, and liberal cursing are the native tongues. A solid addition to your contemporary intersectional feminism bookshelf.

[LibraryKath · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jes has written an excellent 101 guide to fat acceptance. It is chock full of information and perspective that is absolutely revolutionary to anyone who has never entertained the idea that fat bodies are acceptable, including some excellent essays from a diverse group of writers/activists.

Personally I'm at a different place in my fat liberation and am looking for a different conversation, but that doesn't detract from this book being a very useful introduction into a world that many don't know exists.

[Lea (drumsofautumn) · Rating 4 out of 5]

That feel when you don't read the subtitle of the book so you don't really realize that it is a lot of self-help 🙈 but I did think it was an incredibly powerful and helpful read. Definitely a must read for all the fat folks out there, especially if you're new to body positivity, but also something I'd hugely recommend to anyone else!

[Mel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book exceeded my expectations. I'm not going to lie, initially the title of the book put me off, well, the "Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls" part - maybe the 'fat girls'? Is it only for young females? Was it going to be exclusionary?? Thankfully I read it anyhow!

I think this is a fabulous read for anyone that is interested in accepting their body, other peoples bodies, or just curious what the whole "body love, fat acceptance" thing is about. Though really I would recommend this to anyone with a body. Because it's not just fat people that suffer from self loathing and insecurity- despite what weight loss commercials might try to get you to believe.

The thing that I appreciated about this book is that it has a pretty well rounded (pun intended??? ehh??? ok ok...) approach to explaining body acceptance and how it affects DIFFERENT groups of people !!! This shouldn't be such a hard thing, but amazingly it's something that many people in fat acceptance communities miss. Too many times I've been online and found groups that are well meaning, but ultimately incredibly flawed for leaving out anyone that isn't a 20-something cisgender female, who is able bodied and fair skinned with an hourglass shape.

What I really appreciated was that Jes included essay's from other people to fill in area's that she did not have direct experience with. So the book manages to cover acceptance and how it intersects with race, class, gender identity(there are actually parts that address cismen and transmasculine genderqueer persons- refreshing considering that they are usually excluded,which makes the title more bothersome to me), mental illness and body ability. Yay!!
While I would have loved it if each of these topics was addressed in great detail, they really are worthy of their own books. This book felt seems like it wants to introduce the reader to these ideas, and I think it succeeded in that. I felt the exception was mental illness, I have the feeling that because the author has first hand experience with it she was able to further elaborate, going in to greater depth on the subject.

I also thought it was really cool that she brought up Fat! So?: Because You Don't Have to Apologize for Your Size by Marilyn Wann, Lessons from the Fat-o-sphere: Quit Dieting and Declare a Truce with Your Body by Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby and Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight by Linda Bacon. Through the magic of the internet communities have become rather big, but believe it or not there were people that were paving the path to get here through LiveJournal and *gasp* even before the internet. These aren't all of them of course, but I would agree that these books are important reads. (I haven't yet read Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love & Fashion by Virgie Tovar but I will remedy that this year!)

P.S. I was pleasantly surprised to find it in audiobook form (yay!) and that it is read by the author (double yay!) It would have been AMAZING if the essay writers were able to read their own pieces, but hey I can't have it ALL :)

[Kimberly · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars - My review cross-posted from Wit and Sin: http://witandsin.blogspot.com/2015/10...

Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls is an interesting, important book on the body love movement that speaks to everyone, not just the titular “fat girls.” Author Jes Baker fearlessly tackles the body positive movement, taking on not just sizeism, but racism, classism, ableism, and more. Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls encourages women and men of all sizes to challenge what has become completely ingrained in our society: the idea that one type of body (whatever that may be) is the ideal and that anything less is unworthy of love, respect, or dignity.

Intellectually, most of us know that the ideal body image the media sells us is not only physically unattainable for 95% of the population but is also simply corporations capitalizing on people’s wants and fears. However, the way this image has pervaded every aspect of our lives makes it difficult for many of us to fully love our bodies, to fearlessly face a world where we are constantly made to feel “less than,” and to accept the love from ourselves and others that we deserve. Not only that, this picture of the perfect man or woman has an impact on every aspect of our lives, and if you don’t fit in it affects you socially, medically, etc. Ms. Baker’s research and discussion regarding how body love can change the world is insightful. I may not have agreed with absolutely everything in this book, but that’s ok. Ms. Baker challenged my viewpoint and made me look at things in a different light. What she and her contributors succeed in doing by opening up is to make you think, and their words are sure to inspire you to question the information you’ve been fed all your life. Because everybody, absolutely everybody, deserves love, acceptance, compassion, and understanding.

There are simply too many topics in Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls to talk about and for me to try and summarize each would do the book a great injustice. Ms. Baker does her best to be inclusive in talking about the body love movement and her care in doing so makes the book all the better. This is truly the best book on body love I’ve read yet and if you go in with an open mind, you will mostly likely find something to inspire you. Ms. Baker has an intelligent, powerful, funny voice that shines and makes Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls a must read!


FTC Disclosure: I received this book for free from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

[Mehsi · Rating 5 out of 5]

So this will just be a short review how I felt about the book (or at least that depends on how the words will flow out of me while I am typing).

I spotted this book not that long ago at the ABC book store and couldn't resist bringing it with me (especially not for that price). I am not a big girl myself, however I was still interested in reading this book. And in the end I have to say I really connected with this book, it resonated with me. The book is not only about fat girls and their lives, but also about body issues in general. And I got my share of those body issues. Have been having them for years. And while I do try to stop worrying/fretting/going a bit crazy about stuff, I just can't stop. This book is really inspiring to me, and I think I may just take some of her advises to the heart and try them out. For one stop worrying! My body is perfect, love my body! I do say this, but I am sure it will take a bit longer for me to accept my body. I will probably try her technique that she mentioned in the book. Grab a post-it note, write positive words on them, and when you have a bad moment, read them out loud, drown out the negativity!

At first it took me some time to get into the book, but then the last two days I just flew through it, soaking up all the essays, all the advises, all the things that she says.

I also loved the way she talked/wrote this book. I am not sure how to explain this correctly (arghhh words), but I hope that people get what I mean.

The book was also great to read to see how it is for a fat girl to go through life (from societies expectations to doctors to comments from people), then again I knew some of it already, including the comments they often get, due to my mom. My mom's thyroid isn't working right, which means that even with medicines she quickly gained weight even though she barely ate anything. :| I remember one event even when my mom wanted to sit down because she was tired and her ankles hurt and people were being rude to her. :|

There are also challenges, and I definitely loved them.

Then there are a few guest essays, and I loved the diversity in them. Unlike with a lot of books, I often dread guest essays, often they are a mixed bag. But with these? I just loved all off them and they offered so many new points of view.

All in all, a book I would HIGHLY recommend to everyone! Fat girls, small girls, people in between. But also the male population may be interested as she also talks about them at times.

Haha, and this turned review out to be a bit longer than I expected. :P

Review first posted at https://twirlingbookprincess.com/

[Vera Rodrigues · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was actually quite good.

At this point in my life I needed this. I needed a reminder that my body is good enough no matter how it looks. I'm struggling with body confidence and this was a good step to take in order to gain some.

It's not the most amazing book ever though. Actually it reads kind of cheese. The author is a blog writer, and you can tell she writes like in her blog (not saying is a negative thing), just trying to explain that it's not a written master piece or anything.
Also, most things she talks about, there's nothing new for me to learn to be honest. It's the type of theory I've learned before, specially if you are a tumblr user or if you follow blogs like Chubby Bunny. BUT, sometimes you forget to think in a more loving way towards yourself and this book reminds you to do exactly that. It kept me a bit more rounded and not so emotionally stressed about my physique.

[China · Rating 5 out of 5]

I struggle deeply with self-image and even after tons of weight loss, corrective surgeries, etc. I still felt inferior and was looking for a boost and some help. Damnit, this helped a lot.

There were times when I got teary eyed because Jes just hit so close to home. I realized that I wasn't alone in my feelings and my self doubt and self loathing. But she also taught ways in which one can help boost their physical/emotional/mental well being. I've already started taking to heart some of her steps and even though it's just the beginning of learning to love me, I already see a change. This book was really helpful for this curvy girl.

I am worth it. I am awesome. I deserve to be loved. I am beautiful.

Thanks Jes.

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think this book is just not my flair. With few exceptions, I don't like a 1st person narrative. While I appreciate the message of acceptance of body in all its imperfection, and appreciate the warning of the diet/unhealthy messages out there, I think it is equally dangerous to say allow that being obese is ok. It isn't a healthy and not being able to move well, to enjoy life because at some point being large will prevent you from hiking that hill. I think I was expecting to read a learn to love yourself book, but got the message of learn to love yourself as long as you are not trying to eat healthy or be fit. Just my view.

[Cory · Rating 2 out of 5]

I listened to the audio version of this one, which was bad because the author's actual voice is . . . not the most pleasing. Aside from that minor gripe, I just felt like this was a little repetitive and self-congratulatory. It's billed as a way to let you love your own body, but it sort of felt like the author felt hers is the only way to love your body. I will say, though, that it was very nice to have her address the issue of people of color, disabled people, and transgendered people. So many of these books tend to be about straight white women, and this could easily have followed suit.

[Bekah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Don't let the title fool you. This book is packed full of ideas, tip, affirmations and confidence boosters for everyone. Not just fat people, not just girls. Loving your body is something that everyone needs to learn, a struggle we have all faced at least once in our lives. Jes really lays it out for us, making the book feel like a conversation between best friends.Is it absolutely perfect and the one-and-only book you will ever need to read on the topic? Not at all. But it is a wonderful place to start, full of resources and references.

[Janis Hill · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would like to thank Perseus Books Group, Seal Press for an ARC of this book in exchange for an open and honest review.

Wow. What a book! To let you know what interested me in reading it: I’m tall (6’2), fat (hovering in the 17 stone range) and - a scary trifecta to some – smart (not Mensa). And, on top of that all I am at peace with my inner self… while not a big fan (actually totally the most horrific enemy) of my outer, physical self. And I am sarcastic, brash and blunt and LOVE reading stuff by sarcastic, brash and blunt women!

With me so far? This was the sort of book I was interested in as sceptical me didn’t think anything could change my opinion of myself. It’s my opinion… of MYSELF… so of course I’m an expert. ;-)

Okay, so I can’t say this book has turned me into a total convert who LOVES herself and is proud of herself… but it has made me wake up and realise all those positive things I’m always telling people about themselves, all those positives I try and seek in every situation… I’ve been turning a blind eye to seeking those positive in my physical self. THAT is what this book has done.

‘Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls’ isn’t about being fat. It’s not about being thin. It’s not even about being a girl. This book is about having the reader wake up and realise how awesome they are. I do this, I am constantly telling people they are worth it, they are important… but I only focus on what is within as I can’t cope with facing my own exterior. This isn’t a book about fat, thin, girls, boys, etc. It’s about your exterior and how the only way others are going to accept it for what it is, is if you do so first. And I thank Ms Baker for that. For years it is something I’ve struggled with and she’s finally been the person to prise open that stubborn willed door to help me start to see this.

This book is not encouraging you to be fat. Not asking me to give up my ‘foodie ways’ and embrace pizza and over eating and getting unhealthy. None of that is even MENTIONED. But sadly that’s what a lot of people I spoke to thought when they heard the word ‘fat’. This book is trying to help remove the negatives that come with such a small word. Fat. It’s not about you, food, clothes or health. It’s just a word to describe a part of your body. Of ALL our bodies.

Oh dear, I can feel this review becoming a bit of a soapbox moment so I will shut up before someone comes and pulls it out from under me and I fall on my arse.

But before I do stop soapboxing, I will say this: I’m a mum of three young kids and two are girls and the other a boy with ASD. So I am constantly reaffirming how awesome they are, how fantastic they look and how terrific it is to be different. I compliment them… but found I was unable to take compliments back when they would say things like “you’re beautiful mummy”. ‘Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls’ has honestly helped me with this bad situation. I might not be a total convert yet, but it’s helped me stop gritting my teeth when I’m complimented. There is no hidden agenda in my kids saying it – just accept it. And I’m starting to now see I can, and will. Affirmation in the making maybe?

Okay, so I better get back to the actual review and not just spouting about how this book has affected me. There is a lot of swearing. But Ms Baker does warn us about it at the start, so no complaints there. It did mean reading affirming parts of it out to my girls needed a bit of mental translation as I went - and that they weren’t allowed to read it over my shoulder - but that’s okay too. It is why I didn’t give it the full 5 stars though, sorry.

My girls may only be 8 and 10 but they are savvy and they are already feeling the effects of the stupid body (and mind) image stigma happening. They’re tall and smart too… fat may still come if they get my genes more than their dad’s. So maybe a less sweary ‘G’ rated version would be good to let girls learn these fantastic truths as they enter the soul hating teen years… not something they can read while recovering from them later. Just a thought. ;-)

Other than that, this is an insightful, inspirational, funny and really, really mind altering (in a good way) book. And it is our minds we need to be altering here. Our bodies are fine the way they are, let them be. Let’s get those stupid mental preconceptions ingrained in our souls, break them down and realise we are what we are, love it, live it and BE it.

Would I recommend this book to others? Oh hell yes. Except maybe my Nanna… not a book for Nanna, too sweary. But yes I would recommend it to EVERYONE else! This is not just a book for we fat girls, that’s just a title. We all have bodies, so we all have body image issues. And so we need more books like this to help us realise we’re all in it together and maybe once we’ve realised that we can start cutting each other (and ourselves) some slack.

Would I buy this book for myself? Yes I would. And I would get my kids to read it, as well as Ms Bakers blog and many of the places she references in it as they’re growing up so they realise that no matter what they look like – that’s awesome as that’s who they are. Whether than start to grow outwards when they stop growing upwards, whether they stay “supermodel thin” once puberty take hold (yeah, good luck keeping slender hips in this family girls) – It doesn’t matter. And I feel every family needs such reference guides to help us all remember how awesome we are (on the outside as well as the inside).

In summary: A powerful, emotional and uplifting book with a lot of swearing in it. ;-) Seriously though, this is a good read. I know I’ve said it before but I feel I need to say it again – not a book about (or just for) fat girls! This is a book for those of us who can’t look ourselves in the mirror without cringing, sighing or dreaming of a better view.

Best thing I got from ‘Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls’ is this: You are what you are. Go with it, embrace it, cherish it and celebrate it. If you're not happy with what you are, it might not be WHAT you are that needs changing, more HOW YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF. Accept who you are, that is not admitting defeat, that is making a stand and moving on with being YOU.

[Ashley Cadaret · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was really enlightening in a lot of ways. I had heard bits of the body love movement, but wasn't fully versed in it. I am *so* glad I picked it up, because it was great.

(Note, a lot of swearing and narration leans a little too hard on a 'I'm so awesome' vibe - but that goes with the theme of the book, I suppose!) And the chapter on health and weight was misleading.

But I'd recommend this to men and women of all body types. I got a lot of paradigm-shifting on the morality of thinness, why it bothers me so much when people assign morality to food ("I'm being good!" vs "I'm being bad" about FOOD) and how our self-worth doesn't lie in our looks. (I know that, of course, but she points out some ways in which it creeps in nonetheless!)

[Anna (Unquenchable Reads) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished this audiobook in one day and cried when I finished