Mexican Hooker #1: And My Other Roles Since the Revolution

by Carmen Aguirre

A stunning follow-up to Carmen Aguirre's bestselling and Canada Reads-winning first book, Something Fierce . Mexican Hooker #1 is a powerful, heartfelt and grippingly honest memoir of finding meaning in life and one's voice as an artist, and of developing the strength to confront and overcome a childhood trauma.

Carmen Aguirre has lived many lives, all of them to the full. At age six she was a Chilean refugee adjusting to life as a Latina in North America. At eighteen she was a revolutionary dissident married to a generous-hearted man she couldn't fully love. In her early twenties she fought to find her voice as an actress and to break away from the stereotypical roles thrust upon her--Housekeeper, Hotel Maid, Mexican Hooker #1--all the while navigating the complex paths of lust and heartbreak. As she grew in her career, Aguirre became a writer, a director, an actress, and then a mother, but alongside her many multi-faceted identities was another that was unbearable to embrace yet impossible to escape; that of the thirteen-year-old girl attacked by one of Canada's most feared rapists. Thirty-three years after the assault, Aguirre decided it was time to meet the man who changed her life.
     Fierce, funny and enlightening, Aguirre interweaves her account of coming to grips with the attack that shook her world with a host of stories of life and love. From her passionate but explosive relationship with a gorgeous Argentinian basketball player to the all-consuming days at drama school in Vancouver; from the end of the Chilean revolutionary dream to life among the Chicano theatre scene of Los Angeles; from the child who was made the victim of a terrible crime to the artist who found the courage to face her assailant, Aguirre tells a story of strength and survival that will leave you speechless.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Poetry, Canada, Biography Memoir, Biography, Politics

288 pages, Hardcover

First published April 12, 2016

About the author

Carmen Aguirre is a Vancouver-based theatre artist who has worked extensively in North and South America. She has written and co-written twenty-one plays, including Chile Con Carne, The Trigger, The Refugee Hotel, and Blue Box. Her first non-fiction book, Something Fierce: Memoirs of a Revolutionary Daughter, was published in 2011 by Douglas & McIntyre in Canada and Granta/Portobello in the United Kingdom and is now available in Finland and Holland, in translation. Something Fierce was nominated for British Columbia’s National Award for Canadian Non-Fiction, the international Charles Taylor Prize for Literary Non-Fiction, was a finalist for the 2012 BC Book Prize, was selected by the Globe and Mail, Quill & Quire, and the National Post as one of the best books of 2011, was named Book of the Week by BBC Radio in the United Kingdom, won CBC Canada Reads 2012, and is a number-one national bestseller. Aguirre has more than sixty film, TV, and stage acting credits, is a Theatre of the Oppressed workshop facilitator, and an instructor in the acting department at Vancouver Film School. She received the Union of B.C. Performers 2011 Lorena Gale Woman of Distinction Award, the 2012 Langara College Outstanding Alumnae Award, and has been nominated for the Jessie Richardson Theatre Award, the Dora Mavor Moore Award, and the prestigious Siminovitch Prize. Aguirre is a graduate of Studio 58.

Reviews

[HelenJ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was thrilled to receive this book as a Goodread's giveaway since I'd read Something Fierce: Memoirs of a Revolutionary Daughter, with my Nanaimo CFUW Women's Issues Reading Group in March 2013. This book filled in so many of the spaces left out in her first memoir. I'm so pleased that Ms. Aquirre was able to put herself through all the emotional soul searching to write these missing parts of her incredibly difficult life to this point. My wish for her is that the worst is over and that she can enjoy her many successes as a very accomplished author and theatre artist.
This book and her previous one, gave me her succinct historical perspective of Nixon & Kissinger's part in the overthrow of Allende's gov't and the following 17 horrific years of Pinochet's dictatorship. In order to make this a stand-a-lone book she intersperses some recall of the safe-house and supply runs from Neuquen Argentina and other details of her life in South America that are so well discussed in her first book.
The racism she had to endure in the USA and in Canada, is so unforgivable. When will we quit judging others who are different in some way that we are!
I got quite a chuckle when I read that her Voice Class teacher asked her to Take a Risk, not having any idea that Carmen's life had been filled with risks such that the teacher would never experience, and that her compartmentalization of her feelings seemed to be one of her strongest survival tactics. All that she had to endure in her Theatre School Days seems so unnecessary to me as an educator. I'm glad she gained something from all the "put-downs" and was able to come out the other side a stronger artist.
The experience as she retells her rape is hard to read, but was written with sensitivity for the reader. How she was treated by authorities, needs to be continually improved, as I was aghast at what this young girl was put through after her most traumatizing experience. Unforgivable! Her attendance at parole board hearings and the support family she developed through this was a heart warming part of her recovery story. How she took the risk of a personal meeting with her rapist many decades later, just reiterates what a brave person she is and this shows in the writing of this memoir.
I'll be looking for your performance pieces after reading this as you have a lot to say to the world. Thank you Carmen Aquirre!

[Anne Martin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a very difficult book to rate. The first thing that stroke me was how much of the author's childhood memories have been coached by her parents or family. The amount she remembers before leaving Chile at 6 isn't credible. Or to say it differently, she might remember important things for her age then, like the humiliation of pooping herself when she was 4, but not all the lovey-dovey feelings attached to her great love for her 20-year old crush.
The same thing applies for her revolutionary fervor, which she is unable to explain, not even in terms of purpose. Those "memories" come as childhood moments, from the time you love your parents so much they are unfailable. She left Chile at 6, a bit early to know what your political convictions will be, even though she certainly knew what Pinochet's regime was able to do.
But anyway, her exile played a very big part in her childhood. The other big and sad memory is the one of the rape, and it is awful...
Of course, it means starting with some hardship in life!
I probably missed the first book she wrote, more about how she grew up. I am left with tough questions and no help to answer them. Like how did she manage financially to follow the theater school, or how could her parents or her mother finance those years of living in Argentina, while officially in Canada. Maybe the other book explains it.
Obviously, we are facing a traumatized young girl, who managed to cope with her problems with time. I am skeptical about many things in the book, from Allende's perfect state to the family's financial problems, but I'll never doubt her pain. This book is mostly about her rape and how she exorcised it -for that, she deserves kudos.

[Sorayya Khan · Rating 4 out of 5]

An incredible memoir about rape foremost, but also exile, being a revolutionary, becoming an artist, and finding your voice. Rape is like war, it keeps on happening, there's no escape--but Carmen Aguirre finds a way to not allow being raped at 13 to completely destroy her. Hers is a heart breaking and important book.

This. "By then I had mastered my dual existence of mainstream Canadian life and Chilean political refugee life. The two rarely met, although each informed the other. Like train tracks, they ran parallel, my ten-year-old self the only point of intersection if I lay down and spread my limbs apart like a snow angel. The mainstream life inhabited my head and lived on my skin, the refugee life in my heart, guts, and womb."

"I learned about wars that day and how they were different from coups, although both left lots of displaced people, my father explained, hands clasped behind him, eyes fixed on the setting sun."

[Dee · Rating 2 out of 5]

So I received this book from Goodreads First Reads and it was a compelling read. I always find memoirs difficult to rate and review however because they contain such personal and subjective stories. I have to say that Carmen Aguirre's story is extremely brave and inspiring. But the fact of the matter is that the book is not well written, rambling descriptive passages and overuse of metaphors just destroyed the writing for me. A lot of her references also lacked context so I felt very lost at times and was tempted to just skim over parts of the book. Maybe it helps if you've read her earlier work? I don't know. Anyway, it was a bit of a disappointment.

[Danielle Lemon · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's difficult to understand what this book is really about until you're already too far in to get out. Aguirre casually refers to her rape at the age of 13 in the beginning of this memoir. It comes up again and again, in an almost offhand fashion, until slowly the rape and its aftermath come to be at the centre of Aguirre's own life, at which point it becomes the focus of the narrative, too. It is skilfully, skillfully done, the weight of the crime fully being felt by the reader only at the same time Aguirre realizes its place in her own journey. It is at once heartbreaking and healing.

[Sujin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book exceeded all expectations. The writing is beautiful and succinct. The themes run consistently throughout the story till the end. And the content was so raw and revealing that I felt real joy when Carmen triumphed and tears welling up when there was loss. Her life, as she described it, seemed so messy but full of living. I wish I could tell her that I only wish my own life would be just as full and meaningful.

I'm surprised at the negative reviews tbh. This was one of the best books I've ever read.

[Alexis]

I found this book to be a bit uneven. The parts that were good were exceptional. It was a non linear memoir that seemed to skip all over. Aguierre has a very vivid, descriptive and strong writing style.

The parts that were the most poignant and moving were the parts that dealt with Aguierre's rape and the aftermath of the rape. I also appreciated learning about her experiences as one of the only Latino theatre artists in Vancouver.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this straight after Something Fierce - it illuminates all the dark corners of Carmen Aguirre's first, compelling memoir and brings the story straight up into the present. It will leave you breathless and in even more awe of this great woman who is also a fabulous writer. Highly recommended.

[Emmkay · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. I suspect I would have had a difficult time following Carmen Aguirre's second memoir had I not read her earlier memoir, Something Fierce: Memoirs of a Revolutionary Daughter: it is very non-linear and refers frequently to the background described in her first memoir. Even having read the first one some years ago it was still challenging to orient myself and try to remember what she was referring to. Nonetheless, this second volume was a worthwhile and very interesting read. Aguirre writes of her work in the theatre and her writing, but the focal point of the story is her experience being attacked by a serial rapist at the age of 13, and the effect it has had on her life. It's a sobering and sensitively written exploration of the long-term impact of sexual violence.

[Sarah Reicker · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well, I am "kind of" finished...mostly I am just giving up because there are too many other books I really want to read and this one is taking me too long to finish. I had really high hopes for this book, and it started out really well. The writing was beautiful, thoughtful and funny. I loved her memoirs about her time as a Chilean revolutionary, and in particular the historical element of the book (she talks a lot about the Chilean coup and the Nicaraguan Sandinistas). She also details her early life as a child including her friendships, first visits to Canada and early love interests; I found this almost sort of contrived. The writing became over the top dramatic and cliche and I found it hard to stay interested even when her story was punctuated with bits of memories from the coup.

Overall, glad to be moving on to something else.

[Portia S · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an incredibly powerful, heart wrenching and heart warming, intimate book about how Carmen Aguirre dealt with the after effects and the long term impact of a brutal rape as a child. It was immensely brave, honest and revealing, she doesn't pull any punches. There were many parts where I cried for that 13 year old girl. The way the police and doctors treated her was horrifying.

Aguirre's life story is fascinating and unique, but its skillfully written and takes you into her astonishing world. I do think I would have found parts of this difficult to follow if I hadn't read Something Fierce first, as it really completes the story that was begun in Something Fierce. I'll now be looking up the Refugee Hotel.

I would really recommend this, but vivid descriptions may be traumatic for survivors of sexual violence.

[Doug Charlton · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received Mexican Hooker#1 in a Goodreads giveaway and am very thankful. Having previously read and enjoyed Something Fierce I was looking forward to more of the same. I was therefore surprised when the beginning of the story was a relatively quick overview of the author's time spent in Chile and Argentina during the heinous Pinochet era. Initially I wanted more of this book to be about her adventures in the Southern Hemisphere but realized there was a totally different story to be told. Without giving away any of the story I found this to be a powerful bit of story telling if a bit disturbing. I can't imagine what something like this would be like to go through and I do hope the process of writing has been cathartic to the author and I thank her for her bravery.

[Magdelanye · Rating 3 out of 5]

What are you willing to do, how far are you willing to go, what are you willing to give up for something you believe in....? p204

CA has proven once again that she is capable of doing whatever it takes.
If it took me a while to catch up with her in this rambling memoir.she won me over with her willingness to reinvent herself, to get up and start over from an awareness of humiliation and defeat, as circumstances demanded, without giving up her ambitions.

The way out of inertia was to apply a force to it. p52

Foremost is her determination to define for herself what is essential, and although I may not agree with some of her decisions, I applaud her courage in speaking her truth.

Silence will never protect us. p126

[Heather Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this one before reading "Something Fierce". However Something Fierce focuses on her life in South America, while this one focuses on her life in Canada. Remembering that her life in Canada began as a child refugee and goes up to her life as an adult. The author's actions as a child, then a young adult make for a fascinating tale of endurance and dealing with true evil people in her life, and then cultivating bravery as a theatre student, actor and writer. The author's life as a teenager was not focused on here, since that was portayed in detail in "Something Fierce". Rather it involves events in her childhood and then skips ahead mostly to her young adulthood.

Trigger Warning: descriptions of rape. However, it was not portrayed in an exploitative way.

[Lara Maynard · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found often found the book difficult to connect with as a reader. The narrative snakes through so many of her experiences and roles - political resister, childhood rape survivor, emigrant, cousin, lover, person of colour, Latina, wife, drama student... - that I found myself wishing that an editor had helped focus and direct it a little more. And to cut some of the tangential anecdotes. And to reduce the amount of text dedicated to what the memoirist was wearing at any given moment.

Yet, I came away from the book with respect and admiration for Carmen Aguirre, for telling her story and for her strength.

[Nikki Reads A Lot · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read an advanced readers copy. I might enjoy this more had I read her first memoir before. Something about the way her prose & stories are compiled made the book difficult to follow at first. I hope there's some rearranging before the final copy. Still, Carmen displays dark humor, insight & resilience in exploring her childhood, complex identity and dealing with the fear & violence surrounding her life & the lives of her loved ones. FYI there is a pretty detailed exploration of her experience with rape as a child. 3.75 out of 5.

[Liz Yerby · Rating 5 out of 5]

First off this book is largely about her dealing with the trauma of her childhood rape, but she handles it with delicacy, and I think that is a large part of what makes it seem challenging and interesting. A lot of it is seemingly unbelievable, in this way that real lives often are when earnestly spoken. There is so much thought about identity, processing trauma, being an artist and making political art and making effective autobiographic art, which are some of the most interesting and important topics to me

[Josie Boyce · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had to read this book in small chunks to be able to digest it all. Definitely some content warnings must be given. carmen puts all her cards on the table, lays bare her soul and i need time after each brief sojourn to cry and to absorb the highs and lows she so eloquently and somehow within that eloquence, very bluntly rolls out to you. The structure brings you into different ages and aspects of her life seemingly randomly at first, but soon you realize how each era and story folds back and forward with the rest. Masterful and tough to read in all the best ways.

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book took a lot of courage and bravery to write. An eye opener for me and learning experience, as I knew very little about revolutionary dissidents. It amazed me though how much traveling she does between Canada and US. She obviously had to develop a very tough shell in order to survive all her hardships and trials and tribulations. We do discover her weaknesses, which she honestly portrays in this memoir. Thank you for giving me this opportunity to read this copy which I received from Goodreads.

[Katherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. I think this might be the first ever biographical work I have read and after a diet of plot driven, easy to read crime novels for 20 years. So it did take me a little while to get into it.
I thought it was craftfully written, circling around one event, backwards and forwards through the author’s life. That reflected her own way of dealing with that experience I guess. It touched my heart, and opened my mind to so much, including Chile’s past and the life’s of migrants in North America.

[Jennifer N · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won this book from Goodreads.
I went back and forth on this one and it took a long time to finish. The subject matter is dark and she went through so much but she does add lightness and humour to it which I don't think I could do. The subject matter was interesting and it is crazy to think that this is a memoir and not fiction. I did find it hard to follow at times because it wasn't linear.

[Doriana Bisegna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Much more powerful than her first memoir! I was finally able to connect with her words...I read the last 100 pgs in one sitting as she wrote about being raped by the Paper Bag Rapist rapist in B.C. when she was 13yrs. old. I felt that she should have written this memoir first since we have a better understanding of her childhood and the aftermath of being a rape victim.

[Sarah Shepherd · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found Something Fierce compelling; this somewhat less so, but still excellently written. Very interesting and searingly personal in light of my other readings and discussions about how trauma is stored in the body, solidarity with refugees in Canada, and the criminal justice system.

[Shaelyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

After meeting the author at a book signing/women's author event I purchased this book. Having from the author herself I decided to give it a shot. Although I normally never read biography type books I found this honestly funny, sad and relevant all at the same time. Was worth the read!

[Rhea · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Tatiana Cuevas kemp · Rating 3 out of 5]

How much can somebody endure.?

[Gabriel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderful and powerful text.

[Dorothy Lloyd]

Horrible, I couldn't get past the first two pages. I don't know why it was on my want list,

[Jessie Rain · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVED this book. Carmen takes you deep into her trauma and out the other side.

[Matthew · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book really showed the author's resilience and was a window into the difficulty of being a survivor of sexual abuse.