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192 pages, Hardcover
First published April 26, 2016
…why talk of beauty what could be more beaut-
iful than these heroic happy dead
who rushed like loons to the roaring slaughter
they did not stop to think they died instead…
-- e.e. cummings, "next to of course god america i"
The source of my naked-in-a-dream embarrassment was never the nakedness. It was the fact that I alone had managed to get myself into such a situation, while everyone else on the submarine or whatever had managed to avoid it. What did it say about me, the sort of person I was? (Total Solar)
(As the lieutenant is telling a depressed soldier the more "comforting" version of events) Just as I'd told Feldman one story, another was telling itself. I mean the story in which the kid was exactly who we'd wanted him to be; the story in which he helped us…This story was as plausible as mine, mine as plausible as this one, and who could say how many other variations there might be, or which of them, precisely, Feldman was contemplating then.
It didn't matter. He had the rest of his shitty life to attend to all of them. The rest of his shitty life: and still he'd get no closer to knowing. (Kids, the whole passage is my favorite in the book, but it is a little too long to reproduce here)
"That's the end of the story?" I said.
He shrugged. "I got out after that tour and started working for Raytheon."
"Jesus, Murray," I said. "You're telling me you don't know what happened? You don't know if Walsh ever figured out what the kid said?"
Murray looked at me and grinned. What he was saying without saying was: "You dumb son of a bitch, of course he never figured it out."
Ours was a war that offered few opportunities, aside from getting killed or wounded, to distinguish yourself. There were no hills to charge, peninsulas to hold, bridges to seize. There was only the patrol: a year's worth of mine-littered walks ending where they started.(Kids)
“That’s when I saw the man talking on his cell phone.
‘No, no one is with him, I can easily grab him,’ the man was saying.
Or was he? I didn’t know. I still don’t” (184).

