Men, Women, and the Mystery of Love: Practical Insights from John Paul II’s Love and Responsibility

by Edward Sri

“Edward Sri is a gifted teacher and an equally talented writer. This book shows why. He breaks open Karol Wojtyla's great text, Love and Responsibility, in a way that's clear, engaging and very practical for the challenges of daily life.” – Charles J. Chaput, O.F.M., Archbishop of Philadelphia.

This updated and expanded edition of Edward Sri’s classic meditation on Pope John Paul II’s Love and Responsibility includes a new introduction, new chapters for single people and engaged couples, and the stories of people whose lives have been transformed by Pope John Paul II’s foundational teaching on relationships.

Fr. Karol Wojtyla (Pope John Paul II) published Love and Responsibility in 1960, revealing a fully formed philosophy of marriage—in which full union can only be achieved when each partner prioritizes the well-being and self-realization of the other. His analysis of the true meaning of human love is life changing and practical, shedding light on real issues between men and women.

In Men, Women and the Mystery of Love, Edward Sri unpacks the contents of this great work, making it accessible to every reader. He emphasizes the down-to-earth nature of Love and Responsibility, giving readers actionable advice on issues such as: • How to determine if a relationship is one of authentic love or is doomed to failure • The problem of pornography • The meaning of friendship • How to achieve greater intimacy in marriage

Study questions with each chapter make this a valuable resource not only for individual personal reading, but also for small group study.

Genres: Catholic, Religion, Marriage, Nonfiction, Faith, Theology, Christian

176 pages, Paperback

First published August 15, 2007

About the author

Dr. Edward Sri is a nationally-known speaker on Scripture and Catholicism and the author of several best-selling books. Besides teaching at the Augustine Institute, Sri is a visiting professor at Benedictine College and a contributor to the popular apologetics series, Catholic for a Reason. Sri is also a founding leader with Curtis Martin of FOCUS (Fellowship of Catholic University Students).

He also is the creator and host of a new 18-part video series on the Catholic faith for parish adult faith formation called Symbolon (Augustine Institute), and he serves the general editor of a Opening the Word: Journey through the Sunday Readings (Augustine Institute).

Dr. Sri leads pilgrimages to Rome and the Holy Land for lay people each year.

He resides with his wife Elizabeth and their six children in Littleton, Colorado.

Education
STD, Pontifical University of St. Thomas Aquinas (Rome)
STL, Pontifical University of St. Thomas Aquinas (Rome)
MA, Franciscan University of Steubenville

Reviews

[Nick Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recommend this book to any men who are considering speaking to a woman

[Caroline Alexander · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was supposed to read this as a book study, but got too busy in the fall so I decided to do an independent read as I thought this would be a good read as I wrap up my dating fast. I approached this read expecting to know most of the content already, but I am so happy to say I couldnt have been more wrong. I haven't read a book this fast in a long time! This book was not only full of rich insights for people in any relationship stage, but it was easy to read and apply. I would highly recommend this book to anyone, even if you think you know everything the church has to say about relationships. Easy 5 stars!

[Aimee Ecuyer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Phew, I made it.

This book is a distillation of JPII’s “Love and Responsibility” imbued with modern day, culturally relevant examples. Probably a great read if you are not yet familiar with TOB or L&R, and are looking for an introduction which is not so heavy on the philosophical language.

Having already read L&R, I struggled through this, really desiring more of the original work’s philosophical and theological integrity. You might want to go straight to the source if you are already familiar with foundational TOB.


Second review:
Bumping up to 3.5 stars because the second time around it was such a great teaching tool and helped to provoke thoughtful discussion among a mixed group of women ranging from very familiar with TOB to first timers. Appreciate its ability to be an intro to the topic, however still strongly recommend that original work once you’ve got a foundation.

[Abby (Reader of Clean Books){semi-hiatus for Lent} · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is chock-full of good stuff. I learned so much.

When I get closer to marriage (if God is indeed calling me to marriage) I will read this again to refresh my memory and help me prepare for my new phase in life.

I 100% recommend this to people who want to understand the true and deeper meaning of love. I think this is a very important read for anyone.

[Marie Marcalus · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some guy named Nick left a review for this book that said, “I recommend this book to any men who are considering speaking to a woman.” and I felt that

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Currently reading for my Ethics class. I'm really enjoying it so far! Will update when finished!

Very thought provoking book. Really made me analyze how I love others (or how I don't love others). Although written from a Catholic view point, the majority of the book was written with reason as the foundation. Which, of course, goes back to God. It's a short and easy read.

[Joseph Heaney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Straight gas from Tedward and JPII

Thanks for making me read this, Erin!

[Maria Strayer · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book is well written, short, easy to follow and easy to understand. It presents some interesting general insights into love and relationships. We could all use a reminder to value and build good solid relationships However, it’s important to keep in mind this book is presenting one set of opinions. Some of the chapters and arguments felt a bit narrow and “out of date” for my preferences.

[Patti · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book seems to be a good summary, but as might be expected, my favorite parts of it were the actual quotes from JPII's Love and Responsibility. It prompted me to want to read the "real thing." :)

[Aidan Devine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Me and who?? 🙈

(Good book, shoutout JPII, 4 stars because I’m the one you need)

[Patricia Mckenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

We think as a society we cannot define love. But I would say to you Saint John Paul the II did just that with his writings in Love and Responsibility and later in his Theology of the Body. The author, Edward Sri, does a wonderful job of unpacking a complicated topic for us the readers. Real love he explains is not just the "butterflies in your stomach" when you first date the love of your life but what you feel after 60 years of marriage. But this book not only delves into marital love but love in all aspects like friendships and family. “Love is a virtue that involves sacrifice, responsibility and total commitment to the other person. Hollywood love is an emotion” says Edward Sri.
My favorite example that brings it all together is the reference to the movie Titanic. In the movie many people glorify the emotional romance between the two main characters. “Two people whose romance develops over just a few days, which don’t really know each other and have no true commitment to each other.” says Edward Sri. Is this our ideal kind of love? John Paul the II explains that when we are carried away by our emotions, sentimentality may hinder our ability to know that person as she or he really is. Mr. Sri asks "Is this the kind of person who will make sacrifices for me and put what’s best for me or our family before them?" The Catechism defines love as willing the good of the other.
Original sin is explained as when “Shame” entered the world. “Shame involves fear of another person, the sense that we’re not sure we can trust that person. We fear being used or being hurt, so we are afraid of being vulnerable in letting others see us as we really are.” Matthew Kelly wrote: “We can’t be loved for who we are if we won’t reveal ourselves. Unrevealed we never experience intimacy.” The more the Holy Spirit transforms our selfish and lustful hearts with the total self-giving love of Jesus Christ, the more relationships will recover their original meaning that God designed for us in the Garden of Eden.
I would recommend this book to you and for those we love who are living in difficult relationships. It would be a great gift to our young teens trying to make sense of dating and beginning relationships with the opposite sex. I found myself in many ways within the pages of this book. It is about healing and raising up the value of true love.

[Theresa Duerr · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love this book! Great for studies, book club, or just to pick up and read! I have read it more than 3 times but always learn something new. It helped me see the way the world views love and relationships, what I grew up with, what I am used to, and challenged me to see it in a new light. The first time I picked this book up in college, I was just beginning to build my relationship with Christ. Every time I read it now, I think of where he has brought me and how much he has changed my heart, helped me to receive His love, and to give it back to others.

I recommend this as a beginners book for practical ways to build a relationship. If you want deeper theological read, I recommend Love and Responsibility or Theology of the Body. Men Women, and the Mystery is a summary and breakdown of JP2's works.

[Jon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Edward Sri does a great job here distilling the teachings of John Paul II’s Love and Responsibility, covering topics such as marriage, sex, the virtues of modesty and chastity, and even the proper role of the emotions in discerning a relationship. While JPII’s Theology of the Body is just beginning to influence the church, I think that Love and Responsibility, the more slept on of the two, actually offers the more brass tacks solutions that people want. You should read this book if you want an accessible yet convincing take on why so many modern relationships are set up to fail, and how we must instead re-orient our expectations of relationships towards a vision of how we can give of ourselves and sacrifice for others.

[Ava Keating · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this in less than a day - so good!

This is a beautiful quick read to gain insights on JPII’s Love and Responsibility that uses pretty philosophical language. For my little brain this was helpful. I will say it’s a brief insight, so I hope to be able to return to L&R and better grasp what is said directly by JPII himself.

Understanding what true love is and learning TOB changed the way I view every relationship in my life - everyone needs to know that God created them good, and to be participants in radical self-giving love. Highly recommend this book for anyone wanting to get started in learning these things!!!! Also Dr. Sri provides bomb questions at the end of each chapter that would be beautiful for small group or personal prayer!!!!!! You also will inevitably hear his voice when you read any of his books it makes me giggle

[Natalie Lima · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is transformative and everyone should read it!! The wisdom shared is so so good and it has changed the way I view every relationship in my life. I will definitely be coming back to this book in the future 🫡

[Sarah Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Big fan! Definitely worth the read.

[Jenna McQueen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Man finds himself in a sincere gift of self

[SiSApis · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good, brief introduction and application of St. JPII's _Love and Responsibility_, for those who already have at least a basic Christian worldview. It was recommended to me as a book that would be particularly useful for people considering marriage (either as a single person discerning the general vocation, or as a couple preparing for marriage), and with the questions at the end of each chapter, I do think that is the audience for which it may prove most helpful, although the already-married looking to deepen their understanding of the state of marriage and move forward toward a stronger marriage would also find it beneficial.

I am still seeking a book that lays out the (strong, SANE!) Catholic teachings on love and marriage that does NOT require a Catholic foundation to relate to it: an examination of the purposes and benefits of true marriage, and the consequences of supporting or denigrating that, for individuals and the culture at large, from a purely "practical," "lived" point of view, that would not "turn off" those who either have wounds that result in aversion to "churchy" ideas and language, or who are simply so unfamiliar with them that they cannot yet relate to them. I can clearly see in my head how that book could easily exist, and would be SO helpful to SO many people in our deeply confused culture, but I have not found it yet. If anyone reading this knows of ANY work like this, PLEASE recommend it! Thanks!

[Rebecca Loomis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got this book in college and it sat on my bookshelf unread for all of my (many) single years. I tried to pick it up a few times, but my heart was not ready for its message. I felt I’d heard it before, in chastity talks and such, which I was honestly weary of.

Now, only weeks away from getting married, I was finally able to understand and welcome JPII’s messages afresh, now that there is an actual person and relationship I can relate it to. Edward Sri does an incredible job summarizing without watering anything down. Despite having grown up with TOB, this little book was incredibly helpful for me as I prepare for marriage.

[LenZ · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just learned about this book from the Catholic Educator's Resource Centre (CERC) site where the author Edward Sri is a frequent contributor and had actually ran a series of articles to explain PJPII's book "Love and Responsibility".

Those articles were the basis of and have evolved into the book 'Men, Women and the Mystery of Love'. It is simple reading, yet has delivered the important points and expounded well on PJPII's philosophical work "Love and Responsibility".

[Victoria Leal · Rating 5 out of 5]

The first time I read this in 2022, I was younger and single. I remember getting a lot out of this book then. Now that I’m older, I got even more out of reading this book through a second time. I ended up buying the book for my boyfriend as well so we could have discussions about topics in the book. Most likely will read later in life again because it’s just too good.

[Geoff · Rating 2 out of 5]

The arguments made here are purely on an intuitive basis. Both the author and the Pope make broad generalizations about humanity and love that many may find disagreeable. I certainly didn't agree with much of what he had to say, and it was all to easy to find exceptions and flaws in the analogies.

[Lucie · Rating 3 out of 5]

JPII's “Love and Responsibility" should be read with this. Otherwise Sri's book is an incomplete companion.

[Jahanna Conner · Rating 5 out of 5]

“The strength of such a love emerges most clearly
when the beloved person stumbles, when his or her
weaknesses or even sins come into the open. One
who truly loves does not then withdraw his love, but
loves all the more, loves in full consciousness of the
other's shortcomings and faults, and without in the
least approving of them. For the person as such never
loses its essential value. The emotion which attaches
itself to the value of the person remains loyal to the
human being.”

This book should be read by all dating, engaged and married couples! Now I need to read Love and Responsibility…although I’m sure it’ll go wayyyyy over my head (-,:

[Holly Walling · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read for the second time with Refine, my women’s small group. Overall, I would recommend this book to pretty much everyone. We had great discussions and it provoked thoughtful reflection. Further, it makes “Love and Responsibility” accessible to just about anyone, and that is valuable. However, having already read L&R, I noticed a lot more of Sri’s personal opinions throughout than I did beforehand. One star knocked off because I don’t always like the way he presents points. Definitely recommend reading, but would also recommend reading L&R after to get the whole picture! ❤️

[A.T. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Second time reading this and lots of great insights reading it again for sure, but could’ve benefitted from a women’s perspective at some moments throughout the book. Didn’t love a women’s appearance being called “skimpy”… Don’t remember noticing that during my first read years ago though. Also wish there was more of an acknowledgement of the impact of wounds from relationships too. Overall good read, good reminders.

[McKenna · Rating 1 out of 5]

i HATED this book. a lot of his thoughts and interpretations were just so ancient and not up to date. he obviously is very removed from society and doesn't understand the social climate today. he's also writing in a very judgmental tone or criticising people which doesn't lead them to want to hear and apply his message

[Lexie Anton · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a book on how to get no bitches

Kidding

But interesting perspective on relationships through the lens of Catholicism and the pope. Definitely made me reevaluate my view on dating and choosing the correct person for me.

[Katie Strickland · Rating 5 out of 5]

Took my quite long to finish. To the point of now I feel like I need to reread. This book is great. Sets up the idea of chastity and the virtue of it in a super digestible way with paths for growth. Really recommend

[Evelyn Bostany · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent read that helps to explain femininity and masculinity and the gifts that both man and woman being to the world. This is written in a way that is easy to digest and includes discussion questions to foster further conversation and reflection from the pages. Would absolutely recommend.