Lost Among the Birds: Accidentally Finding Myself in One Very Big Year

by Neil Hayward

Early in 2013 Neil Hayward was at a crossroads. He didn't want to open a bakery or whatever else executives do when they quit a lucrative but unfulfilling job. He didn't want to think about his failed relationship with "the one" or his potential for ruining a new relationship with "the next one." And he almost certainly didn't want to think about turning forty. And so instead he went birding.

Birding was a lifelong passion. It was only among the birds that Neil found a calm that had eluded him in the confusing world of humans. But this time he also found competition. His growing list of species reluctantly catapulted him into a Big Year--a race to find the most birds in one year. His peregrinations across twenty-eight states and six provinces in search of exotic species took him to a hoarfrost-covered forest in Massachusetts to find a Fieldfare; to Lake Havasu, Arizona, to see a rare Nutting's Flycatcher; and to Vancouver for the Red-flanked Bluetail. Neil's Big Year was as unplanned as it was It was the perfect distraction to life.

Neil shocked the birding world by finding 749 species of bird and breaking the long-standing Big Year record. He also surprised During his time among the hummingbirds, tanagers, and boobies, he found a renewed sense of confidence and hope about the world and his place in it.

Genres: Birds, Nonfiction, Memoir, Nature, Science, Animals, Natural History

416 pages, Hardcover

First published May 17, 2016

Reviews

[Linda Schmidt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved it! Being a birder myself it was fun to relive some of the places I've been and seen the exact same bird(s) Neil saw. I'm not too sure how much a non-birder would like this book but it was very entertaining and I'm glad Neil Hayward wrote about this adventures in his "Big Year."

[Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Neil Hayward's book about his accidental Big Year is delightful if you are a birder but is so much more! If you suffer from depression,are facing a milestone birthday when you realize you aren't exactly where you want to be in life,if you are afraid of commitment or if you feel disconnected to "normal" people Neil's book will give you hope and inspiration. Neil is funny and self deprecating and so relatable. Like Cheryl Strayed in "Wild" and Chris McCandless in Jon Krakauer's "Into the Wild" Neil finds his comfort in the outside world. He avoids making decisions about his life by pursuing birds to add to his life list then realizes that he could possibly complete a Big Year which he then pursues with a singular passion/obsession. As he travels 250,000 miles in one year and ultimately beats the record (at that time) he finds his happiness not only through the birds but the people he meets and his girlfriend (who proved her love a thousandfold!). I loved this book and it makes me so happy that there are people that find joy in the beauty of nature and never lose their childlike wonder of the universe!

[Maureen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved the intertwining of birding and personal growth. Well-written! Very human... Also loved zooming or walking around the country.

[Chris Leuchtenburg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Following a Big Year is a special kind of thrill for birders like me. Hayward's sharp observations, British humor and lively writing style earn this book a place in the pantheon of Wild America, Kingbird Highway and The Big Year.

However, the last hundred pages, which cover the last three months and the last 30 birds, drags. His anxieties about failed relationships, abandoned job and The Meaning of Life feel repetitive, and the crazy obsessiveness of seeking brief views of new birds all seem more sad than thrilling.

[April Cote · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book made me want to do a big year. It also made me wish I had gotten into this hobby a lot sooner in life. But most of all, it made me excited to go birding. Highly recommended for birders or nature lovers.

[Heather Hopkins · Rating 3 out of 5]

What I liked: his descriptions of birds were detailed and easily understandable. I also enjoyed hearing about their habitats, what it took to find each one, and the other bird-obsessed characters he meets along the way. He was diligent in seeing and identifying each species, not relying on only hearing it or taking someone else's word for what he had seen. I appreciated his dry British humor and purported misanthropy, and his honest description of his journey out of depression, and how the birds helped with that, gave the book structure.

What I didn't like: the repeated and annoying lamentations about what a jerk he was to his girlfriend. It would have helped if he given some indication of why she put up with him. I'm sure there was more to the relationship than him leaving her crying at the airport, again and again, as he repeatedly put his own needs ahead of hers. Or if there had been more insight and growth along the way instead of just "Wow, she's still here. Lucky me." It may not be quite as irritating if you're reading the book, but listening to the audio, I cringed every time the narrator said her name, knowing it would be more of the same.

Also, I ended up thinking this whole "big year" idea is stupid. It's more a contest of who has more time and money than who has better birding ability. He mentions global warming a few times but never says anything about his carbon footprint, as he flies back and forth from Boston to Alaska (8 times!), Arizona, Texas, and Florida. Perhaps the birds would be better off if he hadn't counted quite so many? He also never once mentions his privilege at being able to drop everything and hop on a plane whenever a rare bird alert hits his phone. He hated his job, but it sure must have paid well, if he could not only not work for a year, but never worry about the cost of all those flights.

So, in a nutshell, good book about birds that would be much improved if the author was more introspective about his place in the world.

[Dede Erickson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I selected this book because I needed a book about birds for my library reading challenge. I knew I didn’t want to read a bird guide.
This tells the story of Neil Hayward, an avid birder who was having a middle life crisis at 39. He was an extreme introvert and had quit his job. He also was in a new relationship. On top of all of this he is hit was a heavy dose of depression. He decided to make this year his Big Year which is a year in which a birder tries to see as many different breeds of birds in one calendar year. His goal was 700.

I liked this book as it wove his battle with depression, apathy towards life and his pursuit of birds. Was this year long journey going to heal him?

[Dorothy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved Hayward’s story. It was a perfect combination of adventure and thoughtful insight on life, love, and relationships.

[Deb (Readerbuzz) Nance · Rating 4 out of 5]

Neil Hayward quits his job, his dream job in one way, a job he hates in another.

Hayward breaks up with his long-term girlfriend.

He is approaching forty.

Hayward is at loose ends. Depressed. Just starting a new relationship that scares him. Not sure what to do jobwise.

Lost, stumbling, uncertain, Hayward decides to do a Big Year. He turns to birding as comfort, as a way of giving his life purpose, as a method of easing the depression that has overtaken him.

This is Hayward's story of how birding saved his life.

A delight to read. I loved reading about Hayward's emotional journey through the year as well as learning about the ways of master birders.

[Melissa Mcmasters · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this SO much more than I did! I think it would have benefited from being about half its current length. Some have commented that the relationship aspects of the book were a distraction, but I thought they might have been an interesting way to flesh out the Big Year had he offered any actual insight. Gerri doesn't come across as anything but an incredibly patient person--obviously a nice quality, but there's nothing to make you root for their relationship to succeed. She barely rises to the level of a character in the book, and I wish she had. It might have undercut the sense that this book is mostly a catalogue of birds and birders, with repetitive assurances that the author was healing his broken life by doing the Big Year. He tells us this is the case, but I never *felt* it.

I think it was a very cool thing that he did, but unfortunately it didn't translate into a compelling narrative--at least not across this many pages.

[Wendi Lau · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not a quick read but the reader does get a sense of the excitement and frustration of chasing and waiting for birds, weather, luck. It took a long time for me to finish this book as I looked up every single bird Mr. Hayward talked about. So now I am hooked on looking at bird pictures, sort of a virtual birder. I am blown away by the patience and skill the photographers exercised to take such beautiful pictures. Birds are amazing! Thank you, Neil Hayward!

[Ashis Saha · Rating 4 out of 5]

পাগলের পাগলামির গল্প শোনার মাঝে অদ্ভূত এক সুখ আছে। আর সেই পাগলামির সাথে যদি নিজের খানিকটা যোগ থাকে, তাহলে দৈনন্দিন কাহিনীও শোনায় রূপকথার মতো। বছরে রেকর্ড সংখ্যক প্রজাতির পাখি দেখার গল্প আর একেকটা নতুন পাখি দেখার সুখানুভূতির সাথে জীবনের টানাপোড়েনের মিশেলে মনে হলো যেন বছরব্যাপী এক অভিজ্ঞতার স্বাদ নিলাম।

Listening to a story of craziness gives you the feel of a strange kind of happiness. And, if it happens to be the craziness you have craving for, then even a simple everyday story may sound like a fairy tale. It was as if I lived through a year-long experience of a bird-watcher setting the record of watching the highest number of bird species -- an experience that came with both an enjoyment from sighting every new bird and a feel of pain from the tension in the author's life.

[Leslie Moellering · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book with my birder husband. While I will never get the point of a big year or understand why anyone would spend that much time and money on it, the book was entertaining. The author is very open, though almost too much at times. Some chapters bordered on a therapy session with his various dysfunctions. It did open me up to the idea of my husband doing a big state year, though.

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adored this audiobook. Birds ❤️ and adventures.

[Mac · Rating 4 out of 5]

We get it, you love birds and are bad at relationships. (I like this, I liked this a lot)

[Beth · Rating 2 out of 5]

I abandoned this book. I think you need to be a birder to enjoy it. I thought the relationship and personal parts of the story were interesting, but there was too little of that and too much about the birding for my taste. And the relationship part was even a little boring bc we didn't actually seem to learn anything about Gerri as a person or character in the story. I just was not interested in all the birding. But I still gave it two stars because it's not like it was a terrible book, just not to my taste.

[MJ · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fascinating account of one person's quest to chase birds. Hayward manages to mix stories of bird chasing and what was going on in his personal life to give insight into the insanity that is a Big Year. As a novice birder myself, I wanted to take notes of the places Hayward had been so that maybe someday I could also visit these places (and see some of the birds he saw).

Well written. Each chapter gives the play-by-play of one month's bird highlights, near misses and the friction that happens in one's personal life when birding takes ultimate precedence. The end of each chapter gives Hayward's bird count.

[Giorgia Bardini · Rating 4 out of 5]

A truly uplifting book about life and how it relates to birds. Hayward's stories were very enjoyable and gave me an educational glimpse of a world I didn't know much about. I found myself rooting for him the entire time. I also appreciated the parallels that the author drew between himself and the birds he was travelling miles to see. Sometimes tedious in certain parts to get through but very recommended!

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an extremely well-written book and you do not have to be a bird-watcher to enjoy it. Hayward's account of his Big Year is just as much about the journey of a man trying to figure out who he is, and where he should go next. I really, really liked this book.

[Laura Lewakowski · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you're a birder, you'll enjoy this. Guess I'm glad I'm not at that level yet!

[Colleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the birding world, a “Big Year” is a year in which a person tries to see as many bird species as possible, usually within a certain geographical area like a specific country, a state or province, North America or, even, the world. Birders generally plan for their upcoming Big Year well in advance, especially if they are going to cover a large area, because there’s a lot of travel involved and the timing of finding certain migratory species only during slim windows of time leaves little room for error.

Author Neil Hayward’s Big Year is significant and made him well known in the birding world because not only did he set a record, he officially decided to start his Big Year on April 25, 2013 (which is why it’s referred to as his “accidental” big year). Everyone else had started their year on January 1st, so he was almost four months behind the rest of the pack. Not that he’d been sitting around doing nothing for four months; he HAD been very actively birding. But this delay put him at a distinct disadvantage.

This book describes his birding journey during 2013 and as such, will obviously appeal mostly to people who enjoy birds and birding. However, the question of why he decided so belatedly to attempt a Big Year, and the repercussions of the year on his life, is really what his story is about. He was approaching his 40th birthday, had just quit the only job that he’d ever had, and had no idea what he wanted to do next. On top of this, he was suffering from depression, and was resisting making a commitment to Gerri, his girlfriend. He had a lot of issues going on in his life, and this is as much a story of how birding helped him figure out his life as it is about him breaking the Big Year record.

This is a definitive must-read for birders, but others (who in particular are open to learning more about birds) will enjoy Neil’s mental health and life journey, especially because he has a knack for telling his story with a lot of humour. Kudos to Gerri for sticking it out with him for that year!

4.5 stars rounded up

[Cindy Dyson Eitelman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Depression...is a cruel disease that robs you of your awareness and the motivation to do something about it. It's like a symbiotic organism has crept into your ear, jumped headfirst into the nearest blood vessel, and worked its way deep in your brain. Once there, it fiddles around with the circuitry so that you're not aware of what's happening, and that's when the slow and inexorable slide begins and the color drains out of your world. That dim sense that something is wrong, that things aren't as they used to be, remains a distant feeling. I sat with it for so long that I'd almost forgotten that I was once someone else.

So what do you do about it? Frequently, nothing. Sometimes it lifts on its own, or so I'm told. I'm still waiting for that to happen. Working toward a goal seems to help--I once spent a year getting into shape to go to Hawaii; at the end of that year I was about as mentally healthy as I've ever been. The author helped himself out too, in part by deciding to become a member of the 700 Club.

No, it's not a cult. It's a small group of birders who, following strict rules on what can and can't be counted, identify 700 bird species in one year. It has to be done within the continental U.S.; identification by voice is allowed but birders prefer to see the field marks; but other than that, the rules are self-imposed. It ends up being a public enterprise--you can't see that many birds without a lot of help from others. It seems that there are a lot of people willing to post the sighting of a rare seabird visiting the coast of Alaska, and a lot more people willing to jump on a plane and head there.

Nutcases, you mutter. So do I. But so much fun to read!

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book and found it very exciting as Hayward tore around North America - through bushes, across rough seas, up trees and over mountains to often spend just a few minutes watching a tiny bird preen itself on a frozen lake. Wonderful. Makes me want to go out and start searching for birds around here - see how many I can see in my region. "After 250,000 miles, 55 rental cars, 28 states, six provinces, 56 airports and 195 days away from home (15 of which were spent on a boat, one in a kayak and one up a tree), I’d seen *749 species."
*Hayward had to wait on a couple of provisional species before being acknowledged for his record year.
He also wrote: "As you get older, the world shrinks as boundaries snap into position, hugging the new familiars of work, family mortgage and routine. The Big Year was the sledgehammer I needed to break out of that box, to see the world again with innocent eyes, to fill the memory card in my head, and to meet fellow explorers. The birds may have been the reason for my Big Year, and they kept me on the move, gave me a future to imagine, and filled me with wonder again and again. But they were also the surprising glue that formed human bonds in a way that no amount of thumbing through my field guide ever could have prepared me for."

[Kristal Stidham · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was an absolute pleasure to read. Not only is it about some of my favorite subjects (birding, travel, epic personal quests), but the author deftly delivers the story, complete with drama, humor and tutelage. Hayward just knows how to write and I do believe birders and "normals" alike would enjoy reading about his experiences during 2013, when he "accidentally" broke the record for most species of wild birds seen in North America in a calendar year. He does a nice job of describing each bird, particularly the rarities, but my appreciation was greatly enhanced by doing a quick Google search on my handy smartphone to see a color photo.

Although I could never dream of having enough money to do a proper Big Year, I'm inspired to do a low-key stab at it. We're 14 days into 2018 and I have logged at least that many species. We're off to a blazing start! It will be fun, in any case. Every time I watch a pretty bird through my binocs, I'm grateful that I've discovered this pastime because it gives greater detail to my outdoor adventures and reminds me how amazing Mother Nature is.

[Stacy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, an interesting read if you're a birder. The actual stories of tracking down birds were very interesting. And, I always love reading about birding way out in remote parts of Alaska - I'd love to do that one of these days! Although, I still feel like books like this should have enhanced versions which include the photos of the birds he's finding. But, maybe that's just because I'm a birder. :)

I couldn't quite get this up to 4 or 5 stars though because I found the author's additions of his relationship to be a little silly. It just felt like he was throwing in the relationship stuff to try to appeal to a broader audience, and it just came off as disingenuous. Honestly, it also made the author seem really immature and shallow. Going on and on about how he had to convince himself to love someone was awkward reading. Maybe he really shouldn't be married or in a relationship if it takes him so much work to be in love.

[Joshua Hedlund · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hayward is a smart and witty writer who makes an easy read of his story of stumbling into a Big Year and overcoming depression. Unfortunately, his humorous put-downs of people, combined with the way he treats his unfathomably forgiving girlfriend, combines to make him look like a misanthropic asshole. By the end of the book, he’s flying across opposite sides of the country every other day to chase additional birds to hit a record, racking up an insane carbon output while the love of his life crosses the ocean to go to a wedding alone, and at the end of it all he has is a potential new record that doesn’t get verified for two more years and was shortly broken again by many others. I learned some interesting things and even laughed at a few of his turns of phrase (“Hipsters sat behind laptops, reading or quietly growing mustaches”), but ultimately this book reinforced the kind of birding I definitely don’t want to do.

[Judy · Rating 5 out of 5]

An interesting listen and the audio book had an excellent narrator for the material. I enjoy birding adventure tales, perfectly content at home to look up the bird online that the author has just found after an endurance test. The book began as an extreme birder's quest to find birds. Then it added more detail of the author's background and his starting a new relationship. I confess I shouted unsolicited advice to some of his decisions. As the quest continued the book began to reveal a search for certainty and security in the world. His observations are both witty (when he notices a non-birder who reminds him of John Hammond of Jurassic Park, his next thought is to think how great an Archaeopteryx would look on his list) and poignant (his realization that sometimes you re-read and love a book even tho you don't care for the ending...and that's a lot like life). So although it is a book about counting birds, it's really the journey that is most important.

[John Geary · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is about another birder off chasing a “Big Year” dream, while at the same time, chasing his emotions. The author writes first-person stream-of-consciousness in this non-fiction story and often spends as much time writing about his feelings and dealing with his inability to commit to a relationship and his diagnosed depression, as he does the birds and his chase to join the “700 bird club.” It makes for a very interesting combination. He discovers many things during his chase of the ABA record for most birds seen in a year in the United States, including the fact that it’s as much about the journey as it is the end. When I first began reading it, I didn’t know think I would enjoy it but eventually as I read deeper, I got to know the author better and felt more empathy for him by the end of the book than I had at the beginning. An enjoyable read.

[Chuck · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I learned about this book I had no choice but to read it. It is the story of a birders "Big Year" in North America. My interest came from successfully finishing a big year of my own in 1998 when I reached 703 species as was well documented by the American Birding Association. This account brought back memories of travel, photography, friends, places and most of all the intensity of the adventure. Neal Hayward had a great deal of personal issues to deal with, but the adventure of planning, and visiting so many desolate places on this continent brought back memories in a rush. If Bering Sea Islands, mountain tops, deserts, tundra and journeys into the Pacific, Atlantic, And Arctic Oceans sound better to you than picking up your dry cleaning, then this account of a 365 day pilgrimage to all the ends of this continent will be refreshing.

[Kerry · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the third book I've read about someone's "Big Year," the other two being Kingbird Highway and Birding Without Borders. More than the other two, this book used the framework of a Big Year to chronicle a year not just of travel and discovery, but of self healing. The account is filled with humor and hope and I enjoyed it very much. The only passages that made me anxious were the few descriptions of birders moving through fields trying to flush a bird from hiding. It seems counter-intuitive that someone who loves birds would want to stop a bird from resting or feeding just to get a glimpse of it. Most of the observations described were done at a distance and avoided deliberately stressing the birds. That kind of birdwatching seems more in keeping with the spirit of the pursuit.