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Flesh Wounds
A mother who invented her past, a father who was often absent, a son who wondered if this could really be his family.
Richard Glover's favourite dinner party game is called 'Who's Got the Weirdest Parents?'. It's a game he always thinks he'll win. There was his mother, a deluded snob, who made up large swathes of her past and who ran away with Richard's English teacher, a Tolkien devotee, nudist and stuffed-toy collector. There was his father, a distant alcoholic, who ran through a gamut of wives, yachts and failed dreams. And there was Richard himself, a confused teenager, vulnerable to strange men, trying to find a family he could belong to. As he eventually accepted, the only way to make sense of the present was to go back to the past - but beware of what you might find there. Truth can leave wounds - even if they are only flesh wounds.
Part poignant family memoir, part rollicking venture into a 1970s Australia, this is a book for anyone who's wondered if their family is the oddest one on the planet. The answer: 'No'. There is always something stranger out there.
'Sad, funny, revealing, optimistic and hopeful.' Jeanette Winterson
Richard Glover's favourite dinner party game is called 'Who's Got the Weirdest Parents?'. It's a game he always thinks he'll win. There was his mother, a deluded snob, who made up large swathes of her past and who ran away with Richard's English teacher, a Tolkien devotee, nudist and stuffed-toy collector. There was his father, a distant alcoholic, who ran through a gamut of wives, yachts and failed dreams. And there was Richard himself, a confused teenager, vulnerable to strange men, trying to find a family he could belong to. As he eventually accepted, the only way to make sense of the present was to go back to the past - but beware of what you might find there. Truth can leave wounds - even if they are only flesh wounds.
Part poignant family memoir, part rollicking venture into a 1970s Australia, this is a book for anyone who's wondered if their family is the oddest one on the planet. The answer: 'No'. There is always something stranger out there.
'Sad, funny, revealing, optimistic and hopeful.' Jeanette Winterson
304 pages, Paperback
First published August 24, 2015
133 people are currently reading
1690 people want to read
About the author
Richard Glover
93 books111 followersRichard is a newsprint journalist and a Sydney radio broadcaster for the ABC.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 299 reviews
November 27, 2019
4★
“Some pages back, I pointed out that my life was hardly Angela's Ashes, but at this point it did bear a passing resemblance to The Collector by John Fowles, that mesmerising portrait of a young person imprisoned by a weirdo.”
That was in Richard Glover’s late teens in England. Richard Glover is familiar to Australians through his newspaper columns and radio shows, but until he wrote this memoir, I’m sure most of the public had no idea what a uniquely peculiar time he had growing up.
This is funny, there’s no doubt about that, but it also tugs on the heartstrings when you read about this little boy whose parents apparently conceived him via turkey baster (so to speak) because his mother would never allow his father to have sex with her. Hence no touching was even involved in creating him.
As an adult, he always wondered how he grew up to be a caring, compassionate man when love was so obviously lacking in his childhood. His mother was a strange, cold woman, but when he was an infant and toddler, they lived in Papua, New Guinea. When he had kids of his own and she was so distant with them, he confronted her.
“‘Come on, Mum,’ I said after a moment or two, ‘you must have held me when I was a baby.’
‘I never did,’ she answered immediately. ‘The natives did it.’
She then shook her head furiously, as if I’d accused her of something improper. I felt a moment of genuine hurt, of the kind I’d mostly protected myself against receiving. It felt like I’d just been slapped in the face. I also didn’t know how to interpret what she’d said.”
Richard explores – with humour and sadness – how she became not only who she was but also how she was. He does the same for his dad, who was a drunk and a complete charmer a lot of the time. His parents are both damaged people but never intended to damage Richard. He just kind of existed in their shadow, more like the dog someone gets because they think it will be good company, but then they leave it tied up in the backyard and hire a neighbourhood kid to walk it once a day.
After a lovely toddlerhood in New Guinea, where he was the darling of the “natives”, things changed.
“A few years later, we moved from Papua New Guinea – first to Sydney and then to Canberra. In all that time I never felt like the favourite, which is hard when you are an only child.
. . . I’d always considered myself self-raising, like flour.”
In his teens in Canberra, the nation’s capital, he hung around with boys who bragged about what books they were reading, decorating their bedside tables with Sartre and Camus while actually reading P.G. Wodehouse.
“I spent a lot of time away from the house – either with my friends or walking on my own in a dreamy adolescent way, hands stuffed into the pockets of my overcoat, imagining myself a tortured intellectual. While walking, I would talk to myself. I enjoyed the chance, I suppose, to converse with someone whose intellectual ability I found so impressive.”
His childhood, school, friends, everything is here, and then he went to England. His theatrical mother, who had contacts everywhere, sent him to a man she knew in London. Lionel took him in and kept him living with him, promising that he knew of an opening in another two weeks, then another three. That continued to extend, hence the reference above to The Collector. He had nowhere to escape to.
The book is funny, sad, hilarious in parts, poignant, and especially moving when as a happily married father he realises what he missed. He’d used his parents often in a party game he played with friends “Who’s got the weirdest parents”, which he often won, of course.
In England, he discovered how the class system really works and how it affected his mother. He understood how opening your mouth and mispronouncing a word or name immediately labelled you as uncouth, unschooled, or simply ignorant, as if you’d started speaking in Cockney rhyming slang, I imagine.
“With a slight surge of shame, I remember telephoning a professor at Magdalene College for a science story I was writing. All went well until, as part of checking his job title, I mentioned the college’s name. ‘It’s pronounced “Maudlyn”,’ the professor said after a withering moment of silence. For the rest of the interview he was rather frigid, treating me as a person of no standing; an ignoramus out of my depth. . . – sidelining not only the hapless foreign correspondent but also the vast bulk of the British population. To me, it seemed like a way of policing social class.”
For me, it’s code. Passwords to an exclusive social club, like the posh debutantes who have cutesy insider nicknames for each other. For a young journalist, it must have been devastating. Not only is he the product of the weirdest parents, which should give him extra credit for resilience, he has been trading on the fact that he is intelligent and well-read.
He is certainly intelligent and this is well worth reading, not just for his story (wait till you read about his mother’s next life after leaving his dad!) but also for his view on Australian families and the social structure of the period. He’s right, I think, that a lot of what we think of as the free-wheeling nature of childhood in the 1960s and 70s was a result of general apathy on the part of parents. [I will add that laws were different then. You were allowed to leave your kids in the car while you popped into the shop (or the pub or the TAB to place a bet). But I digress.]
My finding this is the result of a reading challenge, and I will make sure I continue to participate in some more. I might never have had the chance to enjoy this interesting memoir. His parents were far more damaged than I've indicated and his mother's subsequent relationship is simply unbelievable. Read it!
“Some pages back, I pointed out that my life was hardly Angela's Ashes, but at this point it did bear a passing resemblance to The Collector by John Fowles, that mesmerising portrait of a young person imprisoned by a weirdo.”
That was in Richard Glover’s late teens in England. Richard Glover is familiar to Australians through his newspaper columns and radio shows, but until he wrote this memoir, I’m sure most of the public had no idea what a uniquely peculiar time he had growing up.
This is funny, there’s no doubt about that, but it also tugs on the heartstrings when you read about this little boy whose parents apparently conceived him via turkey baster (so to speak) because his mother would never allow his father to have sex with her. Hence no touching was even involved in creating him.
As an adult, he always wondered how he grew up to be a caring, compassionate man when love was so obviously lacking in his childhood. His mother was a strange, cold woman, but when he was an infant and toddler, they lived in Papua, New Guinea. When he had kids of his own and she was so distant with them, he confronted her.
“‘Come on, Mum,’ I said after a moment or two, ‘you must have held me when I was a baby.’
‘I never did,’ she answered immediately. ‘The natives did it.’
She then shook her head furiously, as if I’d accused her of something improper. I felt a moment of genuine hurt, of the kind I’d mostly protected myself against receiving. It felt like I’d just been slapped in the face. I also didn’t know how to interpret what she’d said.”
Richard explores – with humour and sadness – how she became not only who she was but also how she was. He does the same for his dad, who was a drunk and a complete charmer a lot of the time. His parents are both damaged people but never intended to damage Richard. He just kind of existed in their shadow, more like the dog someone gets because they think it will be good company, but then they leave it tied up in the backyard and hire a neighbourhood kid to walk it once a day.
After a lovely toddlerhood in New Guinea, where he was the darling of the “natives”, things changed.
“A few years later, we moved from Papua New Guinea – first to Sydney and then to Canberra. In all that time I never felt like the favourite, which is hard when you are an only child.
. . . I’d always considered myself self-raising, like flour.”
In his teens in Canberra, the nation’s capital, he hung around with boys who bragged about what books they were reading, decorating their bedside tables with Sartre and Camus while actually reading P.G. Wodehouse.
“I spent a lot of time away from the house – either with my friends or walking on my own in a dreamy adolescent way, hands stuffed into the pockets of my overcoat, imagining myself a tortured intellectual. While walking, I would talk to myself. I enjoyed the chance, I suppose, to converse with someone whose intellectual ability I found so impressive.”
His childhood, school, friends, everything is here, and then he went to England. His theatrical mother, who had contacts everywhere, sent him to a man she knew in London. Lionel took him in and kept him living with him, promising that he knew of an opening in another two weeks, then another three. That continued to extend, hence the reference above to The Collector. He had nowhere to escape to.
The book is funny, sad, hilarious in parts, poignant, and especially moving when as a happily married father he realises what he missed. He’d used his parents often in a party game he played with friends “Who’s got the weirdest parents”, which he often won, of course.
In England, he discovered how the class system really works and how it affected his mother. He understood how opening your mouth and mispronouncing a word or name immediately labelled you as uncouth, unschooled, or simply ignorant, as if you’d started speaking in Cockney rhyming slang, I imagine.
“With a slight surge of shame, I remember telephoning a professor at Magdalene College for a science story I was writing. All went well until, as part of checking his job title, I mentioned the college’s name. ‘It’s pronounced “Maudlyn”,’ the professor said after a withering moment of silence. For the rest of the interview he was rather frigid, treating me as a person of no standing; an ignoramus out of my depth. . . – sidelining not only the hapless foreign correspondent but also the vast bulk of the British population. To me, it seemed like a way of policing social class.”
For me, it’s code. Passwords to an exclusive social club, like the posh debutantes who have cutesy insider nicknames for each other. For a young journalist, it must have been devastating. Not only is he the product of the weirdest parents, which should give him extra credit for resilience, he has been trading on the fact that he is intelligent and well-read.
He is certainly intelligent and this is well worth reading, not just for his story (wait till you read about his mother’s next life after leaving his dad!) but also for his view on Australian families and the social structure of the period. He’s right, I think, that a lot of what we think of as the free-wheeling nature of childhood in the 1960s and 70s was a result of general apathy on the part of parents. [I will add that laws were different then. You were allowed to leave your kids in the car while you popped into the shop (or the pub or the TAB to place a bet). But I digress.]
My finding this is the result of a reading challenge, and I will make sure I continue to participate in some more. I might never have had the chance to enjoy this interesting memoir. His parents were far more damaged than I've indicated and his mother's subsequent relationship is simply unbelievable. Read it!
October 9, 2015
I have recently discovered audiobooks, not least because Richard Glover himself staunchly defended them to Jennifer Byrne in the face of condemnation by Will Self. It soon occurred to me that the best genre to listen to must surely be memoir, particularly those read by the author. And when the author has, as his day job, talking to an audience, to pick this as my first was pretty obvious, really.
This is an extraordinary book. It is an exploration of self, and a profound process of discovery of a woman who defies categorisation: Richard's mother. Narcissist, victim, sadist, fantasist, lost soul, loveless wife, passionate lover. And awful, awful parent. We travel with Richard as he comes to terms with a mother who is brutal and flawed. Someone we want to loathe, but ultimately can't.
It is also hilarious. Richard's characterisation of his English teacher (and the man his mother runs away with, abandoning both Richard and his alcoholic, self-absorbed father) is nothing short of brilliant. Mr Phillips is a buffoon, pompous, arrogant, and unforgettable.
If you are thinking of getting this book, I so urge you to get the audio version. You will not regret it, because "lavatory!", "napkin!" and "sofa!".
Bravo, Richard. A brave book. Reading it, I felt your emotional journey, and was with you throughout.
This is an extraordinary book. It is an exploration of self, and a profound process of discovery of a woman who defies categorisation: Richard's mother. Narcissist, victim, sadist, fantasist, lost soul, loveless wife, passionate lover. And awful, awful parent. We travel with Richard as he comes to terms with a mother who is brutal and flawed. Someone we want to loathe, but ultimately can't.
It is also hilarious. Richard's characterisation of his English teacher (and the man his mother runs away with, abandoning both Richard and his alcoholic, self-absorbed father) is nothing short of brilliant. Mr Phillips is a buffoon, pompous, arrogant, and unforgettable.
If you are thinking of getting this book, I so urge you to get the audio version. You will not regret it, because "lavatory!", "napkin!" and "sofa!".
Bravo, Richard. A brave book. Reading it, I felt your emotional journey, and was with you throughout.
September 26, 2015
Richard Glover has such a fantastic sense of humour and it really showed through his story. I was in stitches laughing at the eggplant meal he cooked his wife (just friend at the time, though he was trying to impress her). There were parts of this story that were really quite sad and traumatic, though Richard is a very resilient person. He grew up with a mother who kept her distance from him and struggled to show any love and a father who did care for him, though had issues with alcohol. Despite his different and interesting childhood, Richard comes across as being an involved and loving father and husband. The first half of the novel outlines his childhood and relationship with his parents. While the second half outlines Richard's journey to find out his family history, and perhaps find answers to why things were the way they were.
I really appreciate Richard sharing his story. I think it takes a lot of courage to share aspects of our pasts. This passage really stuck with me when reading the book " ...So many people had inadequate childhoods but we're not all insane or self-harming or miserable. We just found the love we needed elsewhere... This is the amazing resilience of humans. We are hungry for love and - mostly - we somehow find it."
I really appreciate Richard sharing his story. I think it takes a lot of courage to share aspects of our pasts. This passage really stuck with me when reading the book " ...So many people had inadequate childhoods but we're not all insane or self-harming or miserable. We just found the love we needed elsewhere... This is the amazing resilience of humans. We are hungry for love and - mostly - we somehow find it."
April 7, 2016
Oh what an achingly honest and fabulous account of the author’s childhood and family life. Luckily I was on holidays (with a shady spot on the beach) when I read it, as I literally could not tear myself away.
The author, Richard Glover, is an Australian talk radio presenter, journalist and author, whose favourite dinner party game is: “Who's Got the Weirdest Parents?” With the parents Richard Glover had, or rather endured, he rightly believes he will always win.
In this harrowing, humorous, insightful and very poignant account of his childhood, the author tells us about his mother, a deluded, disillusioned women who invented her past, ignored her child, and eventually ran off with Richard’s eccentric English teacher, and his father, an often-absent alcoholic who seemed to spend his life chasing dreams. In the middle of all this was the sad and confused teenage Richard, trying in vain to belong to a functioning family. He tells us about some truly terrible experiences, and then goes on to portray the love and satisfaction he found in building his own, loving family, with his wife and children. All quite the opposite to what he’d known.
The author shows how he eventually accepted the fact that in the end we are responsible for the way we live our lives and that we should not blame our parents for our own shortcomings, through theirs. It teaches us to examine how we live our lives: to think about our past, but perhaps not to focus too much on it.
Excellently- narrated and very thought-provoking, I was mesmerized, and finished Flesh Wounds in one sitting.
The author, Richard Glover, is an Australian talk radio presenter, journalist and author, whose favourite dinner party game is: “Who's Got the Weirdest Parents?” With the parents Richard Glover had, or rather endured, he rightly believes he will always win.
In this harrowing, humorous, insightful and very poignant account of his childhood, the author tells us about his mother, a deluded, disillusioned women who invented her past, ignored her child, and eventually ran off with Richard’s eccentric English teacher, and his father, an often-absent alcoholic who seemed to spend his life chasing dreams. In the middle of all this was the sad and confused teenage Richard, trying in vain to belong to a functioning family. He tells us about some truly terrible experiences, and then goes on to portray the love and satisfaction he found in building his own, loving family, with his wife and children. All quite the opposite to what he’d known.
The author shows how he eventually accepted the fact that in the end we are responsible for the way we live our lives and that we should not blame our parents for our own shortcomings, through theirs. It teaches us to examine how we live our lives: to think about our past, but perhaps not to focus too much on it.
Excellently- narrated and very thought-provoking, I was mesmerized, and finished Flesh Wounds in one sitting.
October 20, 2015
This is a really beautiful book. Richard Glover is uncomfortably honest about his very strange family, childhood and youth, and that honesty is so incredibly powerful. In a straightforward voice, he describes some truly terrible experiences. In that same voice, he describes the love and fulfilment he found in falling in love and building a loving family that was the opposite to what he had known as a child. The honesty with which he approaches his story is, in turns, jarring, beautiful, deeply insightful and ultimately compassionate. This is a story of a man who forgives, without people even being sorry for what they did, and it is this that makes it well worth reading. Highly recommended to memoir lovers or a person from a not-quite-normal family.
January 1, 2016
Richard Glover doesn't know this, but he's my drive home buddy.
Often, at the end of the working day, I slump my weary body into the driver's seat of my car, reverse out of the work car park and begin the commute home listening to his programme on ABC radio - 702am Sydney. Yes, I have reached that golden age of being too old for Triple J, and too cranky for commercial radio.
His upbeat personality, Dad jokes, anecdotes and humanist approach to nearly all things that cross his desk make him the ideal passenger. No whining or whinging. Encouraging people to call in with their opinions and stories on given topics and then putting them to air to treat them with the same reverence and patience most would save for famous celebrities.
And he has a weekly column too, as well as earlier books. Ashamedly, I don't read the paper too often and I hadn't tried any of his other books (I once picked a book up at a sale thinking it was his, and when I was halfway through it realised it was James O'Loughlin's).
So, when the local library advertised that Richard Glover would be presenting his new book (a memoir) with free wine and cheese, how could I refuse?
His talk was splendid. He really knows how to construct and tell a story. His delivery was professional and my only regret was there were no slides/pictures during his talk (you had to buy the book to see those).
The real hook of the story is his mother, as the cover image suggests. And the resounding feature of the book is the author's ability to share the details of his parents' stories and his early life with warmth and humour, but not as harshly as others may well have.
He certainly wins when it comes to 'Who has the weirdest parents?', but I think what I took away from this story was as an adult he himself has made decisions and choices to shape and be the man, husband and father he is today.
After hearing him speak, there was no way I couldn't buy the book (after a couple of cheap & free glasses of wine my book buying resolve dissolves). Especially where he ended his talk of travelling back to his parents' hometown and meeting their families for the first time.
This book would make a great gift or holiday read. Not asking too much of the reader, just a gentle and warm-hearted story teller sharing his story with you.
Often, at the end of the working day, I slump my weary body into the driver's seat of my car, reverse out of the work car park and begin the commute home listening to his programme on ABC radio - 702am Sydney. Yes, I have reached that golden age of being too old for Triple J, and too cranky for commercial radio.
His upbeat personality, Dad jokes, anecdotes and humanist approach to nearly all things that cross his desk make him the ideal passenger. No whining or whinging. Encouraging people to call in with their opinions and stories on given topics and then putting them to air to treat them with the same reverence and patience most would save for famous celebrities.
And he has a weekly column too, as well as earlier books. Ashamedly, I don't read the paper too often and I hadn't tried any of his other books (I once picked a book up at a sale thinking it was his, and when I was halfway through it realised it was James O'Loughlin's).
So, when the local library advertised that Richard Glover would be presenting his new book (a memoir) with free wine and cheese, how could I refuse?
His talk was splendid. He really knows how to construct and tell a story. His delivery was professional and my only regret was there were no slides/pictures during his talk (you had to buy the book to see those).
The real hook of the story is his mother, as the cover image suggests. And the resounding feature of the book is the author's ability to share the details of his parents' stories and his early life with warmth and humour, but not as harshly as others may well have.
He certainly wins when it comes to 'Who has the weirdest parents?', but I think what I took away from this story was as an adult he himself has made decisions and choices to shape and be the man, husband and father he is today.
After hearing him speak, there was no way I couldn't buy the book (after a couple of cheap & free glasses of wine my book buying resolve dissolves). Especially where he ended his talk of travelling back to his parents' hometown and meeting their families for the first time.
This book would make a great gift or holiday read. Not asking too much of the reader, just a gentle and warm-hearted story teller sharing his story with you.
October 7, 2015
Wow ..left me speechless
A talented man with an an amazing life
I will listen to Richard Glover now with a different set of ears !!
A powerful honest heartfelt read
A talented man with an an amazing life
I will listen to Richard Glover now with a different set of ears !!
A powerful honest heartfelt read
August 23, 2016
Dear Richard Glover, if you and I play a game of Who's got the Weirdest Parents, I think I can give you a run for your money. I hope writing this memoir about your relationships with your parents, about experiencing parental neglect, and (briefly) about your upbringing has influenced your own parenting, has been therapeutic and cathartic for you; it is certainly comforting for me in an "I'm not alone" kinda way. However, while your story is entertaining, it also irks me with a constant "why" - why did you write this very damning story about your parents? Why reveal these (quite embarrassing) secrets for the purpose of entertaining the masses, when you don't sound particularly bitter or angry about it all? Maybe it's not you, but me - but I think it needs some more rationales or self-reflection. Yours sincerely, Karen.
November 18, 2019
Richard Glover’s memoir about growing up in a dysfunctional family was a story that I felt that I could relate too, at least in parts. So what is a “functional” family, anyway? I don’t think that there is such a thing in families, only families that are more dysfunctional than others. Still, Richard’s upbringing is one of neglect at times, with a father who was remote thorough work and alcohol, and a distant mother who walked out on him for another man when he was a teenager. Tough. Children turn into an inconvenience to so many parents - a good idea at the time, but too much effort later on. Richard recounts some poignant and funny moments in the tough times, and he is good at remembering the humour. Very funny in parts.
For me, this was better than Clive James’s “Unreliable memoirs”.
For me, this was better than Clive James’s “Unreliable memoirs”.
September 27, 2015
Remember that time I got a bit daytime drunk at the Newtown Festival and embarrassed myself in front of Richard Glover?
This is the reason why. His writing is always so moving, so funny, so relatable and so personal. His perspective in moving on from his troubled and loveless childhood to a place where he has surrounded himself with people who love him and created a beautiful family life is very refreshing.
This is the reason why. His writing is always so moving, so funny, so relatable and so personal. His perspective in moving on from his troubled and loveless childhood to a place where he has surrounded himself with people who love him and created a beautiful family life is very refreshing.
January 19, 2016
Richard Glover's book is a great read - interesting, amusing, sad and insightful. I throughly recommend it.
November 20, 2018
My dear mother took a shine to one of Peter FitzSimon’s books, his take on the wreck of the Batavia. She offered to lend it, but I demurred due to the pile of ‘must reads’ I already had waiting for me on my shelves. One of those was, in fact, his memoir ‘A Simple Time’. I’d pick it up cheap a few years ago, somewhere or other. Since that day it had slipped further and further down the order as other I considered more worthy tomes superseded it. ‘Flesh Wounds’ is a more recent purchase, but it too had suffered a similar fate, although I knew it’s arrival back in 2015 was to great acclaim. It was about time I found out what all the fuss was about. So I decided to read both in succession.
My Mum was even more impressed with my news that FitzSimons’ wife was television stalwart Lisa Wilkinson. I also figured his latest, a retelling of the mutiny on the not so good ship Bounty might be an ideal Chrissy pressie for this amazing lady. Who knows, I might even get around to reading it myself. He’d never really been on my radar, Peter FS. Being from Rugbyland didn’t help. I knew he wrote columns for the Sydney Morning Herald and often commentated on the tele. To his credit, he is also a leader keeping the flame burning for us becoming a republic. And that, till ‘A Simpler Time’, was about all.
In truth this memoir doesn’t set the world on fire. It’s a pleasant enough way to pass the time, but his childhood is largely unremarkable – and probably all the better for that. It speaks of a time when kids and freedom was a synonym, not the opposite, for better or worse. He and his siblings roamed around, largely unfettered, from daylight to dusk, over his parent’s struggling acres.
PFS was one of six young ones in a time before television and certainly well before this era of tiny screen fascination. His mother had married down to a man she obviously loved to bits – her yearly stipend from her rich folks helping to keep the struggling orange orchard on Peats Ridge solvent. It also assisted in giving their children a jolly good education. In the book there are tales of bullying, first love, yearning for sporting success (which eventuates), country values as well as the city versus the bush. Later comes a journey to check out the family’s origins and a realisation that his dad, like so many at the time, had an unspoken of battle with depression. And Peter comes to appreciate, as in my case, how wonderful it was/is to have a remarkable mother to aide him through all his own troubles and tribulations. One tale that really hit the spot was how, in her later years, he came to have his photograph taken with her by a Walkley Award winning camerasnapper amongst the orange trees. The image is on view in this biography along with many others from the family album.
What a joy it is to read that, on her deathbed, when Helen was asked by one of Peter’s sisters what the best thing about her life had been, she replies, ‘Having sex with your father. Any more questions?’ Delightful.
Now, whereas the above was delightful in patches, ‘Flesh Wounds’ is a treat from cover to cover. Fitzy’s upbringing was quite normal for the time, but poor Glover’s was all over the shop.
Wil Anderson has likened this contribution to the list of classic memoirs to the work of America’s great raconteur Seinfeld. I loved it so much I rushed out and purchased Glover’s latest publication ‘The Land Before Avocado’ and if time permits, I will delve into his back catalogue too. As with FitzSimons, this author hadn’t meant much to me as he is also Sydney-centric, but his name does now. The columnist/broadcaster can boast, without possible contradiction that, in any parlour game of ‘Who Has the Weirdest Parents’, he would win hands down. He’d clean up if any bets were laid. Nobody else at any table could claim they were the result of a virgin birth. Then there is the story of how his mother had such a close connection to English aristocracy – until, that is, it all came tumbling down. There’s his father’s alcoholism and his step-father’s nudism – a step-father who was once his English teacher! What horror there was when his mum did a flit with him. If these stories do not have you in fits of laughter they’ll, without doubt, have you cringing. Eventually Richard sets out to discover the reason for his parents dysfunctionalism. They were a bizarre lot.
I am so thankful my upbringing far more resembled that portrayed in the first offering, but as a read Glover’s exceptional effort is sublime. I’ve always figured nothing could surpass Clive James’ ‘Unreliable Memoirs’ as a tale of an Australian childhood. Glover comes close. Just brilliant. And don’t get me started on the teddy-bears.
My Mum was even more impressed with my news that FitzSimons’ wife was television stalwart Lisa Wilkinson. I also figured his latest, a retelling of the mutiny on the not so good ship Bounty might be an ideal Chrissy pressie for this amazing lady. Who knows, I might even get around to reading it myself. He’d never really been on my radar, Peter FS. Being from Rugbyland didn’t help. I knew he wrote columns for the Sydney Morning Herald and often commentated on the tele. To his credit, he is also a leader keeping the flame burning for us becoming a republic. And that, till ‘A Simpler Time’, was about all.
In truth this memoir doesn’t set the world on fire. It’s a pleasant enough way to pass the time, but his childhood is largely unremarkable – and probably all the better for that. It speaks of a time when kids and freedom was a synonym, not the opposite, for better or worse. He and his siblings roamed around, largely unfettered, from daylight to dusk, over his parent’s struggling acres.
PFS was one of six young ones in a time before television and certainly well before this era of tiny screen fascination. His mother had married down to a man she obviously loved to bits – her yearly stipend from her rich folks helping to keep the struggling orange orchard on Peats Ridge solvent. It also assisted in giving their children a jolly good education. In the book there are tales of bullying, first love, yearning for sporting success (which eventuates), country values as well as the city versus the bush. Later comes a journey to check out the family’s origins and a realisation that his dad, like so many at the time, had an unspoken of battle with depression. And Peter comes to appreciate, as in my case, how wonderful it was/is to have a remarkable mother to aide him through all his own troubles and tribulations. One tale that really hit the spot was how, in her later years, he came to have his photograph taken with her by a Walkley Award winning camerasnapper amongst the orange trees. The image is on view in this biography along with many others from the family album.
What a joy it is to read that, on her deathbed, when Helen was asked by one of Peter’s sisters what the best thing about her life had been, she replies, ‘Having sex with your father. Any more questions?’ Delightful.
Now, whereas the above was delightful in patches, ‘Flesh Wounds’ is a treat from cover to cover. Fitzy’s upbringing was quite normal for the time, but poor Glover’s was all over the shop.
Wil Anderson has likened this contribution to the list of classic memoirs to the work of America’s great raconteur Seinfeld. I loved it so much I rushed out and purchased Glover’s latest publication ‘The Land Before Avocado’ and if time permits, I will delve into his back catalogue too. As with FitzSimons, this author hadn’t meant much to me as he is also Sydney-centric, but his name does now. The columnist/broadcaster can boast, without possible contradiction that, in any parlour game of ‘Who Has the Weirdest Parents’, he would win hands down. He’d clean up if any bets were laid. Nobody else at any table could claim they were the result of a virgin birth. Then there is the story of how his mother had such a close connection to English aristocracy – until, that is, it all came tumbling down. There’s his father’s alcoholism and his step-father’s nudism – a step-father who was once his English teacher! What horror there was when his mum did a flit with him. If these stories do not have you in fits of laughter they’ll, without doubt, have you cringing. Eventually Richard sets out to discover the reason for his parents dysfunctionalism. They were a bizarre lot.
I am so thankful my upbringing far more resembled that portrayed in the first offering, but as a read Glover’s exceptional effort is sublime. I’ve always figured nothing could surpass Clive James’ ‘Unreliable Memoirs’ as a tale of an Australian childhood. Glover comes close. Just brilliant. And don’t get me started on the teddy-bears.
July 3, 2017
Richard Glover's afternoon radio show on ABC Sydney and his weekly column in the Sydney Morning Herald have been such enjoyable parts of my listening and reading routines, that I am surprised it took me nearly two years to read 'Flesh Wounds' after its publication.
Thank you Richard for illuminating the ways in which families are complicated, for showing the strategies that young people can use to cope with the curious complexities of parent-child relationships, and for being an ongoing example of how subsequent generations can adapt their parenting to avoid repeating mistakes.
Thank you Richard for illuminating the ways in which families are complicated, for showing the strategies that young people can use to cope with the curious complexities of parent-child relationships, and for being an ongoing example of how subsequent generations can adapt their parenting to avoid repeating mistakes.
May 23, 2019
I've been following Richard Glover's newspaper column for many years and have always loved his brand of humor. I knew his mother ran off with his English teacher to live in a Hobbit-hole (Tolkien-inspired house) and that she was quite an unusual character, but not the extent of her eccentricity. It's amazing that she and 'Mr Phillips' found each other, but they were truly a match made in their own teddy-bear themed version of heaven (or hell).
Glover mentions in the book that he'd never been able to stand up to her, but I think he saved his trump card for last by publishing this book after her death. The absolute worst thing imaginable for 'Bunty' would have been to have her lies and fake aristocratic past exposed on such a grand scale. I don't blame the man in the least. She was an insufferable snob and a terrible mother and it seems like it was good therapy for him. The book is not written to shame her but to find out why she turned out as she did by delving into her past.
While neither of Glover's parents were directly abusive they were self-absorbed and disinterested, which is still a form of abuse. His father is more of a tragic figure, but neither of them showed much concern for their son. What saved him were the other adults in his life who stepped in to take up where his parents failed. I think the native woman who cared for him as an infant in Papua New Guinea had a very big part to play in the man he became, which he acknowledges. If he hadn't experienced her love and affection during those crucial formative years I shudder to think what would have become of him, as his own mother claimed to have never held him as a baby and saw this as some kind of badge of honor.
This isn't a 'woe is me' memoir. There's a lot of humor in it and a recognition of just how lucky he is. Despite (or maybe because) of his challenges he has had a very blessed life and he clearly appreciates the value of family and fatherhood in a way that many who grew up in stable families don't.
Glover mentions in the book that he'd never been able to stand up to her, but I think he saved his trump card for last by publishing this book after her death. The absolute worst thing imaginable for 'Bunty' would have been to have her lies and fake aristocratic past exposed on such a grand scale. I don't blame the man in the least. She was an insufferable snob and a terrible mother and it seems like it was good therapy for him. The book is not written to shame her but to find out why she turned out as she did by delving into her past.
While neither of Glover's parents were directly abusive they were self-absorbed and disinterested, which is still a form of abuse. His father is more of a tragic figure, but neither of them showed much concern for their son. What saved him were the other adults in his life who stepped in to take up where his parents failed. I think the native woman who cared for him as an infant in Papua New Guinea had a very big part to play in the man he became, which he acknowledges. If he hadn't experienced her love and affection during those crucial formative years I shudder to think what would have become of him, as his own mother claimed to have never held him as a baby and saw this as some kind of badge of honor.
This isn't a 'woe is me' memoir. There's a lot of humor in it and a recognition of just how lucky he is. Despite (or maybe because) of his challenges he has had a very blessed life and he clearly appreciates the value of family and fatherhood in a way that many who grew up in stable families don't.
October 1, 2015
Ok, so Richard Glover plays this game of "Who has the weirdest parents?" and the prize is a bottle of wine. Having read this very frank, searching, self-deprecating and humourous tale, I owe Mr Glover a bottle of wine. If you read his weekly columns, listen to his radio program or read any of his other books, you may have gleaned that all was not right in the Glover household while Richard was growing up. I found myself laughing at some of the antics, they seemed so unbelievable, and at the same time crying at the sheer dysfunction of the parents. If you ever think you are the one with the weird upbringing, weird parents then this story will make you realise you aren't alone.
November 12, 2019
I, like some other reviewers, found myself feeling pretty uncomfortable that Richard was pretty ruthless in his portrayal of his parents who are no longer around and have been pretty much ridiculed throughout the book. We don’t know their complete and full stories or what they themselves experienced in their childhoods that shaped their later dysfunctions. Obviously they weren’t perfect as parents, but I feel sad for them that this is the legacy that exists of their life. Richard seems like a great guy but I just felt that taking potshots at deceased parents didn’t sit well with me
February 22, 2016
Found that my enjoyment of this book was hampered by what I found to be derogatory comments about his now deceased parents who have no right of reply. Maybe they are accurate but didn't find the airing of the family dirty laundry something I wanted to read. Overall felt a bit lightweight and something that Knausgaard does so much better.
September 15, 2019
Pretty sure I could read or listen to anything that Richard Glover produced and would be entertained and engaged.
I had much more loving parents than Richard but he's only 8 years older than me and his childhood in PNG, Sydney and Canberra are familiar and very identifiable.
He would definitely win in the "Who has the weirdest parents" dinner party game.
Borrowed this from the local library on borrowbox audio. Listened to it on my phone whilst doing other things and was totally distracted by it from time to time.
Richard Glover's radio and journo background makes him an excellent memoir writer and narrator of his own story.
I had much more loving parents than Richard but he's only 8 years older than me and his childhood in PNG, Sydney and Canberra are familiar and very identifiable.
He would definitely win in the "Who has the weirdest parents" dinner party game.
Borrowed this from the local library on borrowbox audio. Listened to it on my phone whilst doing other things and was totally distracted by it from time to time.
Richard Glover's radio and journo background makes him an excellent memoir writer and narrator of his own story.
February 8, 2022
My first audiobook! I really enjoyed listening in the evenings when I was too tired to read a physical book. Great premise for a book, and I really enjoyed the first two thirds. For me, the last third of the book didn't have as much substance but entertaining nonetheless.
December 27, 2023
“Parental love may be instinctive but there are so many barriers to its delivery…”
A beautiful story of the author’s journey of self discovery wrapped in the pursuit of trying to understand his own upbringing, or more specifically, the life of his unhappy parents. This was cheerful and well told and the author’s voice never strayed into victimhood or self pity.
A beautiful story of the author’s journey of self discovery wrapped in the pursuit of trying to understand his own upbringing, or more specifically, the life of his unhappy parents. This was cheerful and well told and the author’s voice never strayed into victimhood or self pity.
January 8, 2016
Usually when I finish a book I write a review straight away, then move on to the next book. After I finished this book (my first review for 2016) I sighed contentedly and had to think about it and absorb it because it really resonated with me. I was given this book as a gift by a friend who listens to Richard Glover's radio show. After I had finished the book I looked him up and listened to a 15 minute interview of him by Booktopia about this book which was very good. I also listened to a 6 minute youtube clip of the best of Thank God its Friday. I lasted 3 minutes - sorry pretty boring. Contented sighing over........
It says on the front of the book "for anyone whose family was not what they ordered" and this is certainly the case with Richard Glover's family. The saying goes, you can choose your friends but not your family, we get what we get and we have to make the best with what that is. Some people are lucky and have wonderful, large (or small), loving families, others like Richard's are completely disfunctional.
Reading this book and finding out about his family I had to remind myself that this is a memoir and these people actually do exist and they did and said what is being described in this book. It left me gobsmacked. I felt Richard wrote this book honestly and with a lot of humor, I laughed a lot whilst reading this book which is unusual for me. I especially liked one portion where just before Christmas his son who was eight at the time had a brilliant idea to annoy Nanna Anna (Richard's mother). I thought I would like to adopt this kid.
Some children emulate their parents, others try to be everyhting their parents aren't which is what Richard Glover did. Despite his loveless childhood it appears he is a loving husband and father.
This book is called "Flesh Wounds" and it's great that he has overcome his "wounds" from childhood to call them "flesh wounds", I wonder if they really are though, maybe those wounds or others wounds can fester from time to time or some may be deeper wounds.
Great book, great writing, very interesting subject matter, really pleased it was given to me as a gift.
It says on the front of the book "for anyone whose family was not what they ordered" and this is certainly the case with Richard Glover's family. The saying goes, you can choose your friends but not your family, we get what we get and we have to make the best with what that is. Some people are lucky and have wonderful, large (or small), loving families, others like Richard's are completely disfunctional.
Reading this book and finding out about his family I had to remind myself that this is a memoir and these people actually do exist and they did and said what is being described in this book. It left me gobsmacked. I felt Richard wrote this book honestly and with a lot of humor, I laughed a lot whilst reading this book which is unusual for me. I especially liked one portion where just before Christmas his son who was eight at the time had a brilliant idea to annoy Nanna Anna (Richard's mother). I thought I would like to adopt this kid.
Some children emulate their parents, others try to be everyhting their parents aren't which is what Richard Glover did. Despite his loveless childhood it appears he is a loving husband and father.
This book is called "Flesh Wounds" and it's great that he has overcome his "wounds" from childhood to call them "flesh wounds", I wonder if they really are though, maybe those wounds or others wounds can fester from time to time or some may be deeper wounds.
Great book, great writing, very interesting subject matter, really pleased it was given to me as a gift.
May 21, 2024
‘Can you really be self raising like flour? Or is it just a glib way to pretend that bad parenting doesn’t hurt?’
A book club read. Although I don't know the author (a mid-range celeb in Oz?), I found this to be a resonating, deeply moving but also hilarious account of Glover’s childhood.
I liked that there was no demand for sympathy and it wasn’t about casting blame. It was almost like an objective study of somebody trying to get a grip of their emotions, but funny and light hearted at the same time.
As an English backpacker living in Australia, it was great to have the two world views and see 1980s England (particularly the class system) through the eyes of a foreigner (albeit I wasn’t alive at the time so I can’t compare views).
I think this story is a good testament of how to rise above your circumstances and not let bad (or rather horrific) experiences determine the course of your life.
A book club read. Although I don't know the author (a mid-range celeb in Oz?), I found this to be a resonating, deeply moving but also hilarious account of Glover’s childhood.
I liked that there was no demand for sympathy and it wasn’t about casting blame. It was almost like an objective study of somebody trying to get a grip of their emotions, but funny and light hearted at the same time.
As an English backpacker living in Australia, it was great to have the two world views and see 1980s England (particularly the class system) through the eyes of a foreigner (albeit I wasn’t alive at the time so I can’t compare views).
I think this story is a good testament of how to rise above your circumstances and not let bad (or rather horrific) experiences determine the course of your life.
December 20, 2015
I loved this autobiography. Just the thing to help us examine our own lives and our place in it. Some of us worry too much about our past and some don't think about it at all. I think we should settle for somewhere in between.
In the long run, we are responsible for the way we live our lives and the old saying "the sins of the father/parents are delivered on the children" is no longer applicable. In this current age, we can indeed learn from our forebears but it is up to us what we do with that learning. I loved learning about the experiences of all the characters in the book. It was very well done and thought provoking.
In the long run, we are responsible for the way we live our lives and the old saying "the sins of the father/parents are delivered on the children" is no longer applicable. In this current age, we can indeed learn from our forebears but it is up to us what we do with that learning. I loved learning about the experiences of all the characters in the book. It was very well done and thought provoking.
October 25, 2015
There's so much to say about this book. It's funny, it's sad, it's uplifting and it's thought provoking. I wish I could discuss the book with Richard. Families really do have a strangely compelling hold on people even if they are "not what I ordered".
October 5, 2016
I admire Richard Glover for telling his story. It was not always an easy read, however it was always interesting
Sometimes sad and sometimes uplifting.. this is a good book to read to commiserate or to rejoice about your childhood.
Sometimes sad and sometimes uplifting.. this is a good book to read to commiserate or to rejoice about your childhood.
May 28, 2017
An honest memoir and despite Glover's neglectful upbringing, he recounts it with humour. I didn't find his upbringing as peculiar as it's made out to be.
July 24, 2019
The memoir is both laugh-out-loud funny and heartbreaking at the same time. Richard Glover was brave to write this. Couldn’t put it down.
June 15, 2019
Richard Glover somehow manages to make his deeply sad and strange childhood into a hilarious and heartwarming story. I often found myself reading sections of this aloud to my wife because she kept asking what I was giggling at. His mother’s absurd antics and foibles are perfectly balanced with the reflections on Richard’s upbringing and how it shaped the man he is today.
This book is billed as being ‘for anyone whose family was not what they ordered’ but honestly I think anyone who enjoys memoirs would get a great deal from it. It certainly made me appreciate my family more, while also reflecting on my upbringing and my relationship with my family into adulthood, and the kind of parent I am and would like to be.
The book also serves as a delightful counterpoint to the endless Facebook posts and opinion articles you see condemning modern parents. As Richard puts it, better the helicopter parent that hovers than the one that flies away.
This book is billed as being ‘for anyone whose family was not what they ordered’ but honestly I think anyone who enjoys memoirs would get a great deal from it. It certainly made me appreciate my family more, while also reflecting on my upbringing and my relationship with my family into adulthood, and the kind of parent I am and would like to be.
The book also serves as a delightful counterpoint to the endless Facebook posts and opinion articles you see condemning modern parents. As Richard puts it, better the helicopter parent that hovers than the one that flies away.
March 16, 2018
It’s not often you come across such a direct account of an unusual family, filled with disconnects and dysfunction, but its this that makes the stories so rich and compelling. Richard, as reader, as well as the writer, of the book, enhances his humour through many different accents of British origin. The lateral thinking, the crass frankness, the surprising objectivity through which he expresses his accounts of Ealing with both parents make this story enticing beyond belief. It’s better than fiction because its real, most enjoyable with hints of melancholy, but liberally sprinkled with that dry and clever Glover humour. Throughout the audiobook Richard showcases his many years as a radio announcer, making the presentation fluid and easy on the ear. Well worth the time invested!!
August 19, 2019
While I like to read the odd column by Richard Glover, I wouldn't call myself a big reader of his. He has always seemed like a sweet and funny person but without much of a deeper layer behind the laughs. I wasn't expected this book to be so moving and so uplifting, I had a wonderful time reading it and found it oddly comforting. I have long thought that most people come from families that have their own stories of grief, trauma, and heartbreak, so mine not only isn't so special but also I'm not isolated while trying to navigate what that means, but reading a fully fleshed out exploration of that told in Glover's style of outrageous candour was a true comfort and joy.
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