Sins of the Mother

by Irene Kelly, Jennifer Kelly, Matt Kelly

Sins of the Mother is a powerful and inspiring story of a family whose love was tested but never broken, who finally found the strength to heal the past.Irene Kelly was brought up in poverty and abused by her mammy from an early age. But home life was still better than the time she spent in one of Dublin's industrial orphanages. In that harsh regime she was beaten and sexually assaulted. Set to work in the nursery, she saw the nuns treat the babies with horrifying cruelty.As an adult those experiences haunted Irene. When she fell in love with Matt, who was fighting his own demons, they moved to England for a new start. They wanted their daughter Jennifer to have a better life, but in trying to protect her by hiding their past they only succeeded in pushing her away. Until, one day, Irene had a phone call from Ireland that changed everything . . . 'An epic and stirring story which shows that it is possible to overcome the worst start in life.' Sunday Mirror

Genres: Nonfiction, Book Club, Biography, Memoir, Family, Abuse

339 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 13, 2015

Reviews

[Shanelle Clowe · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book caught my eye randomly on a shelf in Walmart, it's funny how a place that is so very ordinary, can house extraordinary stories like these on its shelves. Anyway, I've been really into true events and memoirs lately so I thought it would be interesting to hear her story. Interesting? Try mind-blowing, devastatingly read-able and completely insightful. I have read about the lives of those in Magdalene environments but this was so vivid that I could see it when I closed my eyes and would wince when I read her pain. Such a brave way to really stick it to those who sought to keep her silent.

Feeling so deeply empathetic for Irene and later, her family, I longed for her to find inner peace- unable to put the book down until I knew she had found some sort of solidarity in her life, I so hoped she would find some sort of solidarity in her life... My hats are off to you, Irene, Matt and Jennifer. Keep giving and receiving love.

5 stars and a heck of a bend in that binding.

[Claire Hipkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having just finished this book, I not only feel moved by the true story of Irene and her family but educated as beforehand I knew nothing of the atrocities that happened in the nun-led orphanages in Ireland.

To say this book is gripping is an understatement, I very much struggled to put it down and the story kept on developing and more was revealed. It gives you an understanding of how Irene was deeply affected by her life in the orphanage and the way in which the story is written is truly beautiful.

Also, the way in which her family strengthened and supported Irene throughout her troubling times was admirable, you can feel the love of not only her siblings but her husband Matt and her children, in particular the story focuses on Jennifer's understanding of her mother's situation and how this impacted upon their relationship.

I cannot remember the last time I have been so moved by a book... To write about something so personal and very much real must take a lot of courage. This story left me wanting to have the opportunity to talk with Irene about her story and meet this remarkable women.

Currently, I am studying to be a social worker, (with a particular interest in mental health) and it's stories like these that continue to keep me inspired, not only to work hard but to make a positive impact upon lives.

I would recommend this story to anyone as it is a thoroughly good read.

[Jenna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Raw... Eye opening ...heartbreaking.
Irene's own personal journey has literally been from hell and back. I believe that the absolute worst thing a child could go through is not just the abuse but the feeling that you aren't important and not loved by the two people in your life who should be the biggest source of love-your parents.

Much like "a child called It", this book is raw; it's not an easy read as a parent and really at difft points, I was equally crying and wishing I could have saved those children from their mother and from the orphanage.

[Janice · Rating 5 out of 5]

I totally loved this book and although a tough read in terms of the content, it was a great reminder of the strength of the human spirit. It also covers a topic which needs to be talked about out loud and the affect traumas can have on ones mental well being if not treated but kept in the dark and secret. The fact that this story was based on real events and that there is a report (The Ryan Report) which documents all the atrocities committed is what made it an even more compelling read.

[Luciana · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very powerful story of a child/woman's struggle to make the most of her life after an abusive start. Not only was she abused by her own mother but also by the orphanage run by the Catholic church.

Irene Kelly is truly a survivor & very strong soul. My heart goes out to her & her family!

[Cynthia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a sad story of abuse to Irene Kelly at the hands of child "caregivers"-- in this case, parents and institutional staff (nuns, etc.) The story is universal, alas. I do love the fact that this book is so clearly written and doesn't bog down in the horrific details of the abuse, but moves on through with "just enough" of the horror for us to be moved by the child's plight, to relate perhaps from our own experiences, and to rejoice in the hope that healing does happen in some cases. The author of this book is heroic-- the fact that she went on to love and live out her dreams is miraculous. To illustrate the profound systemic impact of child abuse, Kelly has chosen to include narratives by her husband and her daughter. Child abuse is a curse that plagues generations.

The story of abuse in an Irish Catholic residential institution echoes in like-stories of atrocities against First Nations children in our Canadian residential school history. In my opinion, that "system" has a great deal to answer for, and will. Interestingly, the author was not allowed to divulge any 'names' (even the institution) of the offenders. However, at the end of the book there are a list of links to governmental reports that will be of interest to anyone who doubts the veracity of this particular story.

[Eimear · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow... where to start! This is a beautifully written book, with a story that is shocking in its truth. I liked how it showed that the impact of the abuse that happened in the Catholic institutions of Ireland did not just affect "a couple of children", but touched thousands of orphans, and that trauma spans over multiple generations. It is not just the immediate victims of the abuse, but it is also their children, who are often kept in the dark, and will forever wonder about their parents pasts, and what happened to them that shaped them to be the persons they are today. Sadly, because of the importance of the Catholic religion in Ireland, the abuse that happened by those "servants of God" was often not believed, further scarring the victims of the abuse who were trying to speak their truth. With time came more acknowledgement of what happened, but still the public was kept rather in the dark, and the abusing nuns and monks were never really held responsible, they walked free. Therefore, it is books like these that are so incredibly important. They are important because they spread more awareness. Because they help us remember, acknowledge, and never forget what happened to the orphans unlucky enough to fall into the hands of orphanages like the one Irene fell into.

[Janet · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5
I didn't realize, until near the end, that this book was a true story of the author's struggle to overcome the horrendous experiences she endured while at an Irish Catholic orphanage. What the nuns did to the children can only be described as torture. Cruel. Sadistic. I knew that abuses occurred, but I had no idea how horrendous they were. A depressing book to read, but I came away with such admiration for Ms. Kelly's determination not only to survive the memories of her childhood but to eventually find joy and a certain contentment.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

About residential schools and poverty in Ireland, but relevant for people learning about residential schools in Canada.

[Jill Robbertze · Rating 4 out of 5]

This true story of survival was a harrowing read, being an account of the atrocities that children were put through in an orphanage in Ireland and shockingly these abuses were perpetrated by Catholic nuns. It's hard to believe that this was going on in my own lifetime, let alone understand how this could even happen. We can only hope that society learns from this and that these things can be prevented in the future. I'm not sorry that I read this book but I do feel that I now need to find something lighter to read next !!

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full of sadness, disbelief, heartbreak, hope and admiration for breaking the cycle. Incredible story of abuse at the hands of so many adults supposed to care and keep children safe. Congratulations on being a survivor and giving your family so much more.

[Rai · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well this is my second orphanage story in recent history... and even more amazing this is a true story. It caught my eye at Costco and I didn't buy it. And I didn't buy it again and again. finally I decide I would.

and even more so, it sat unread, even street I added it to my reading list. until last night, when I devoured the book.

it's just breathless and heartbreaking. and so well written. don't read it if you're sensitive or cynical... but I really really recommend it.

[Leora · Rating 3 out of 5]

So very obviously ghost written, and still very pedestrian in its language. But still a very affecting story of incredible abuse, physical and emotional, and how it affects the victim and those around her. The Catholic Church still has so much to answer for.

[Secondborn · Rating 4 out of 5]

WOW!!!!! At times it was unbearable to read, heartbreaking and maddening . But .. wow !

[Antoinette Nasky · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sins of the church!be mercy

Her courage in telling her story can't ever let me forget her. Not can I dismiss the cruelty of what happened to the many. May God forgive the abusers.

[Rama Ramaswamy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Again, yet another book that makes me feel crude to give 5 stars to a book that talks about the deep anguish that someone has gone through. I very recently came across the news of the Magdalene survivors and that is what led me to pick up this book. But I was not prepared for the heartbreaking account of Irene, the survivor, who, from the age of 5 lived a life so wretched that an entire lifetime was not enough to wipe away the trauma. Tortured by the nuns at the Catholic orphanage in Ireland where she was sent by her vicious mother and useless father because they couldn't/wouldn't care for her and her 4 siblings, she yearned to go back home, even if that was not a good prospect. But when that happened, Irene realises that she had been dealt a very cruel deal by fate as she's subjected to further torture at the hands of her parents. Even after she moves to England, is married and has kids of her own, she is not able to get rid of the ghosts tormenting her since childhood. Much later in life, when she reads in a newspaper about how there are so many more people like her, she finds the courage to speak up and bring to the fore the horrific happenings in the name of God that the orphanages carried out.

This book is devastatingly revealing, unbelievable in its inhumanity and heartbreakingly true. The fact that there is a report ( the Ryan report) available which has documented all the stories about these Catholic orphanages makes the anguish seem so much more real and fresh. The fact that thousands of similar victims like Irene were offered paltry sums in compensation without the perpetrators being held accountable (because people of God can just not do these unspeakable things, you know!) is very defeating. It is so depressing to read page after page about how Irene had to struggle everyday to get on with her everyday life to just convince herself that she has done no wrong (thanks to her Catholic upbringing), but it is she who has been wronged. I couldn't get over the fact that her own mother was her worst enemy, hurting her deeply to the point of no return. But return she does, because Irene has a mighty heart that helps her overcome her miseries, though not wholly, but enough to not let her succumb and give up. It is also a story of love, understanding and resilience. Deeply moving, this book is a reminder of the greatness and the strength of the human spirit.

Stories like these need to be told and read. It is depressing, but then we know that tough times dont last but tough people do only because of people like Irene. I wish her peace and tranquility in life. And happiness.

[Terri Durling · Rating 4 out of 5]

The heartbreaking true story of a woman’s struggle to escape her abusive past and the price her family paid. I have heard of the terrible things that happened in some orphanages and institutions around the world but to hear this personal story was very revealing. Irene went through hell literally and how she even survived is in itself a miracle. Almost worse than the abuse she suffered at the orphanage where she lived with some of her siblings for a few years because her parents could not longer look after them, is the abuse she suffered at the hands of her own mother. Her father was absent much of the time and she did not even meet him until he showed up at the orphanage one day but her mother seemed to single Irene out for particular mental and physical abuse which was extremely difficult to read about. The book is broken down into stories as told mostly by Irene herself but also by her youngest daughter, by her second husband, Matt, named Jennifer. Matt also contributes to the story and, he, too, has suffered though not to the extent that Irene did. The frustration that Irene endured even after the truth came out about the abuse heaped upon the children by the nuns and workers at these orphanages, is painful because there were no apologies or acknowledgement by the people who committed these injustices. In fact, after years of dealing with the court case, Irene finally ended up with a larger settlement (it was not about the money which she gave to her children) but, in that process, she had to sign documents that she would not speak about what happened to her publicly. She did end up writing this book so I am not sure how she was able to accomplish this. It is well worth reading and gives hope that justice can be served ultimately. Even more important, is the importance of seeking help for mental illness. Irene would not have survived had she not done that.

[Bonnie Parkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

okay, one last "abuse" book -- this one is non-fiction and is an expose of the intergenerational effect of the mental illness of an Irish mother visited on her child and grandchild and compounded by the horrifying torture the child meets in a Catholic orphanage in Ireland when her mother is hospitalized. Irene Kelly is the subject and writer who was helped by Katie Weitz to produce this memoir. Written in first person, the story tells Jennifer's story first, then Irene's -- we don't figure out for a while that Irene is Jennifer's mother because Irene never speaks about her mental illness to her daughter, thinking she is protecting her. She finally won compensation for the physical, sexual, and emotional horrors of her childhood at the hands of the nuns, but it was hush money and she was not allowed to tell her story publicly, so I don't know what will happen to her for breaking her silence. Some of the facts came out in the 1999 too 2009 Ryan Report https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commiss... and Amnesty International exposed the State's response which was against the standards dictated by international human rights laws. It sounds very much like what happened in Canada's residential schools, but instead of beating the Indian out of these children they were beating the "sin" out. The movie The Magdalen Laundries dealt with the same subject. It is truly disgusting what people with authority will do with helpless children in their care when they believe that no one will find out. It seems especially heinous because the perps are "religious" but in my opinion that has always been an excuse to practice evil.

[Dagmar Gura · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is so heartbreaking. She went through 10ths of hell, standing with her head up high.

Her mum just completely broke me.
I grew up with abusive mother who abused me physically and psychologically. I completely understand her feeling sticking up with her for so long, hoping to hear she loves her and she is deeply sorry.
I felt very angry, reading she didn’t get any apology and resolution from her. I understand her feelings.

Orphanage is just disgusting. How could people with power do this to innocent children. They’re burning in hell now! When I hear and story about nuns and priests I just don’t understand how could they be so evil.

I was weeping imagining her life growing up.

I am so glad she found help at the end.

Thank you so much for this powerful true story. You are inspirations and such a strong and brave women.

[Tricia Gibbs · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read. I enjoyed knowing each person's perspective written in their own narration. This style truly allows readers to understand depression has a flow-down. If you've been through any trauma and ever found it impossible to cope then you will relate and, possibly, get some clarity on the possibilities of change. I wasnt fond of how rushed the book seemed to me. For someone who had so many demons, I felt there was probably so much more we didn't hear enough about. On the other hand, there is plenty of detail for the horrors that were mentioned for you to visualize the situation minimally. Not saying it's a must-read for those who enjoy this genre, but a good read for those who typically don't.

[Elisabeth Brookshire · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely devastating and miraculous at once

It's so difficult to find the words to describe this powerful book. I've been reading books about orphanages lately like "The Orphan Train" and "Before We Were Yours" which are excellent books but they are novels. This is a work of nonfiction written by a woman who had to stay in an Irish orphanage in the sixties. It is shocking and like the title says, "heartbreaking" . Irene never had a chance at birth home and once sent to St. Grace, things only became worse if possible. My anger gesticulated between Mammy and the disgusting, vile nuns and teachers at the home. I only wish this book was longer. Bless you, Irene, I wish you and your family all the best...what you deserved from the start.

[Linda L · Rating 4 out of 5]

Unbelievable that Irene Kelly could live through such cruelty and tell the story. Living a life of shame because of poverty and abuse should not be her shame but that of the society around her. And in particular the Catholic Church, who abused her over and over again, physically, mentally and in all senses of the word. The church just could not admit that it was in the wrong and punish the perpetrators of the abuse. As Irene Kelly was finally listened to, the church and those in power sought to gag her and those who testified to their cruelty. Money was offered and taken by some but the truth has finally come out.

A harrowing book to read but hopefully it has helped to put some demons to rest for Irene Kelly and her family.

[Margaret Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

I haven't been so compelled to read a book since the day I stood in front of the display for 'A Child Called It' in B. Dalton many years ago. I read that one from start to finish in the bookstore. I read this one in two days.

Anyone who has followed the story of the Magdalene Laundries or the abuse of children in the Native American school system would also find this of interest.

I'm not saying this is easy to read. The child abuse that occurred in the Irish orphanages during the 1960s was horrifying. This book is a first-person account of the sorts of violations that transpired. The refusal of the authorities to believe the victims is a betrayal that adds up to a new outrage.

Sad, but so articulate and clear.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This one was so hard to put down!
I feel for Irene and the sad and lonely childhood she had. This book also includes the viewpoints of her husband and daughter, which was a unique spin on things. Including so many emotions and revelations of the present, gives her story a positive ending, which I really enjoyed.

I do wish she had included the story of her own mother and father. Why were they so awful? The book demonstrates the cycle of abuse through 3 generations, but I can't help but wonder why it all started and would have liked to see that included as well.

[Monika Bielová · Rating 4 out of 5]

Vlastně se trochu sama sobě divím, že oceňuji tak vysoko.
Největší díl na hodnocení má asi fakt, že je kniha v určitém smyslu strašně čistá. Napsaná spíš jako forma terapie autorky než jako nějaký kalkul, jak chytit čtenáře za city.
O tom, že opravdu nikdy přesně nevíme, jakou má člověk minulost a jaké důvody ho vedou k tomu, jak se chová. Že rodičovství může být opravdu heroický výkon a překonávání sebe sama.... no a pochopení od potomků nepřijde úplně automaticky, pokud jim rodiče nedají šanci vidět celý obraz...

[Kaotickanadian · Rating 3 out of 5]

How can something like this be able to happen.?. How are people so incredibly sick that they would allow anything like this.
The book broke my heart and reading through it made me feel sorrow, heartbreak and compassion for all involved. Reading their journey as they went through life was shocking. Once thing after another was lived through... where most can't even handle a harsh talking too.
Amazing ability to over come

[Kate McDougall Sackler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Harrowing and emotional account of the extreme abuse she suffered from her parents, the nuns in the Irish Catholic orphanage system, and her first husband. Told from her perspective, her second husband’s perspective and her youngest daughter’s perspective, this story reflects how systemic abuse filters down through the generations and celebrates the resilience needed to survive and overcome it.
2023 reading challenge-a book by an author with a first name popular in 1923 (Irene)

[Monica · Rating 4 out of 5]

How this woman survived her childhood is short of a miracle. Living with an emotionally and physically abusive mother, absent father, and ultimately being sent to an Irish orphanage to endure more abuse would be more than most of us could bear. This is a true store of survival...the survival and rescue of a little girl who stood alone.

[Karen Smolders · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you're looking for a lovely, uplifting read this book is not for you. This is the true story of Irene Kelly. She grew up in Ireland in a situation so horrible abusive would be a light word to describe it. The things she lived through were horrendous and nauseating at times. That being said, it is an amazing story of triumph, strength, perseverance, family love, and healing.

[Debbie Fabyan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unbelievable!

As a teacher, I read stories like these to open my eyes and help kids. The strength this poor little girl/woman has can only come from our dear Heavenly Father, not these horrific, evil people. This has changed my life! What an amazing writer to imprint this in my mind!