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Wherever I Wind Up Signed Edition: My Quest For Truth Authenticity And The Perfect Knuckleball
"The Glass Castle" meets "Ball Four" as Mets knuckleballer R.A. Dickey weaves searing honesty and baseball insight in this memoir about his unlikely journey to the big leagues.
An English Lit major at the University of Tennessee, Dickey is as articulate and thoughtful as any professional athlete in any sport-and proves it page after page, as he provides fresh and honest insight into baseball and a career unlike any other. Fourteen years ago, Dickey was a heralded No. 1 draft choice of the Texas Rangers, only to have an $810,000 signing bonus, and his lifelong dream, ripped away by an X- ray-and the discovery that he did not have an ulna collateral ligament in his right elbow. Five years ago, he gave up a record six home runs in three innings to the Detroit Tigers-and was effectively consigned to the baseball scrap heap.
Sustained by his profound Christian faith, the love of his wife and children, and a relentless quest for self-awareness and authenticity, the immensely likable Dickey details his transformation from a wreckless, risk-taking loner to a grounded, life- affirming big leaguer. He emerged as one of the premier pitchers in the National League in 2010-and the knuckleballing embodiment of the wonders that perseverance and human wisdom can produce. Dickey views his story as one of redemption. Readers will come to see it as something more-a uniquely American story of beating back demons, listening to your heart, and overcoming extraordinary odds.
352 pages, Paperback
First published March 29, 2012
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 517 reviews
June 15, 2012
My husband ordered this book after a baseball birthday party with some of his friends who mentioned it. I had no intention of reading it. But then Jason opened the book near the middle, read a bit and said, "I think you're going to want to read this book." "What makes you say that?" I laughed. He read me a passage aloud and I had to agree that it sounded like a book I would read. In just that passage, I could hear an authenticity, vulnerability and transparency that I value in an author - and a friend. Still... a baseball book? I recently finished The Art of Fielding and one baseball book in a year (or a decade) is more than enough for me.
Yet the next morning, I decided to read the prologue to Wherever I Wind Up. About twenty four hours later, I'm writing this review, having finished the book. I'll say this upfront: the writing in this book, while not bad, is not excellent. If you're looking for eloquent word pictures, moving monologues or metaphors that bring tears to your eyes, this is not the book for you. But if you want to read a book about a man who has been broken and damaged yet persevered, this is a book worth reading.
R.A. Dickey has not led a charmed life. His childhood wasn't filled with storybook moments. His career hasn't been smooth sailing. It's these very things that compelled me to keep reading. Because while Dickey, like me, grew up with an alcoholic parent, he manages to tell his story without the shame that I feel lurks beneath the surface for me nearly all of the time. As he told his story and the early wounds he received, I wanted to know more - not in a rubbernecking-look-at-the-car-wreck kind of way, but in a how-can-I-see-my-story-like-this way.
This is a book by a baseball player and a fair amount of it talks about baseball - both broadly and by recounting specific games. I'm more of a football kind of girl than a baseball one, so I occasionally found myself skimming paragraphs where Dickey recounts deciding which pitch to throw for which batter. But I have a different and better understanding of the game than I did before. (And since I wrote a physics paper about knuckleballs in high school, I actually loved reading about RA's path to becoming a knuckleball pitcher.)
If you're a baseball fan, I think you'll enjoy this book for its look at a player who spent years in the minor leagues, continually fighting to break into the major league. If you're someone who battles your own monsters, this book will remind you why the fight is worth it. Perhaps, like me, you'll be impressed with RA Dickey's honesty without shame. Maybe it will be his desire to love his family well despite the challenges of a life on the road that gets you. But I think if you read this book, you'll find something there for you.
Yet the next morning, I decided to read the prologue to Wherever I Wind Up. About twenty four hours later, I'm writing this review, having finished the book. I'll say this upfront: the writing in this book, while not bad, is not excellent. If you're looking for eloquent word pictures, moving monologues or metaphors that bring tears to your eyes, this is not the book for you. But if you want to read a book about a man who has been broken and damaged yet persevered, this is a book worth reading.
R.A. Dickey has not led a charmed life. His childhood wasn't filled with storybook moments. His career hasn't been smooth sailing. It's these very things that compelled me to keep reading. Because while Dickey, like me, grew up with an alcoholic parent, he manages to tell his story without the shame that I feel lurks beneath the surface for me nearly all of the time. As he told his story and the early wounds he received, I wanted to know more - not in a rubbernecking-look-at-the-car-wreck kind of way, but in a how-can-I-see-my-story-like-this way.
This is a book by a baseball player and a fair amount of it talks about baseball - both broadly and by recounting specific games. I'm more of a football kind of girl than a baseball one, so I occasionally found myself skimming paragraphs where Dickey recounts deciding which pitch to throw for which batter. But I have a different and better understanding of the game than I did before. (And since I wrote a physics paper about knuckleballs in high school, I actually loved reading about RA's path to becoming a knuckleball pitcher.)
If you're a baseball fan, I think you'll enjoy this book for its look at a player who spent years in the minor leagues, continually fighting to break into the major league. If you're someone who battles your own monsters, this book will remind you why the fight is worth it. Perhaps, like me, you'll be impressed with RA Dickey's honesty without shame. Maybe it will be his desire to love his family well despite the challenges of a life on the road that gets you. But I think if you read this book, you'll find something there for you.
June 18, 2012
I will preface this by saying that I am a huge fan of the knuckleball. It's a fascinating, oddball pitch that gives everyone over 30 hope that they could still make it to the bigs. I really wanted to sympathize with Dickey in his quest to change from conventional pitcher to knuckleballer.
I'm sure it's almost universally true that to become a professional athlete must require an extreme degree of narcissism. The amount of work required (necessitating ignoring all non-athletic aspects of life) combined with the accolades that athletes receive make it inevitable. On this front, sadly, Dickey does not disappoint.
I was struck particularly by two parts of the book. First, Dickey goes into great detail about wrongs that were done to him. Fine, this is an autobiography. When it comes to wrongs that Dickey has committed, he's much more circumspect. The paragraph where he reveals his infidelity says, "I have become what I promised to myself I would never become: a caricature of a lustful ballplayer." I'm not asking for a kiss-and-tell, but there is a difference in the scope of the two types of passages.
Second, in the Acknowledgements Dickey thanks his family and apologizes for not being present as much as he should've been ... a few pages after describing an off-season trip to summit Kilimanjaro. Dickey doesn't seem to see the contradiction there.
I started this book wanting to like Dickey more, and ended it liking him less. For that reason, I'm sorry I read it.
The baseball stuff is still cool, and there's lots of great details about being a knuckleball pitcher, but for me the cons outweighed the pros.
I'm sure it's almost universally true that to become a professional athlete must require an extreme degree of narcissism. The amount of work required (necessitating ignoring all non-athletic aspects of life) combined with the accolades that athletes receive make it inevitable. On this front, sadly, Dickey does not disappoint.
I was struck particularly by two parts of the book. First, Dickey goes into great detail about wrongs that were done to him. Fine, this is an autobiography. When it comes to wrongs that Dickey has committed, he's much more circumspect. The paragraph where he reveals his infidelity says, "I have become what I promised to myself I would never become: a caricature of a lustful ballplayer." I'm not asking for a kiss-and-tell, but there is a difference in the scope of the two types of passages.
Second, in the Acknowledgements Dickey thanks his family and apologizes for not being present as much as he should've been ... a few pages after describing an off-season trip to summit Kilimanjaro. Dickey doesn't seem to see the contradiction there.
I started this book wanting to like Dickey more, and ended it liking him less. For that reason, I'm sorry I read it.
The baseball stuff is still cool, and there's lots of great details about being a knuckleball pitcher, but for me the cons outweighed the pros.
December 26, 2012
I am always suspicious of books glorifying the efforts of athletes, particularly if those books are autobiographies. As a person who is not religious, I tend to also be suspicious of athletes who give the Lord all the glory for their achievements. So when I saw this book at the library, it already had two strikes against it. I'm an AL fan, and the sum total of my knowledge about RA Dickey was that he'd just won his 20th ballgame for the Mets. Period. But the book was there, and as a baseball fan, I thought I'd give it a whirl.
Dickey is the antithesis of the dumb jock; he is an intelligent, well-read and -spoken man who has an incredible story to tell. He was a first round bonus baby for Texas who lost his bonus--and a lot more--when his physical revealed an unknown physical abnormality in his pitching arm. He and his family went through years of hell as he struggled to make it back, and their struggles are chronicled throughout the book. My only real criticism of this book is that there are a lot of places in it I would have liked to know a little more or read a little deeper. The chapters are interspersed with thoughts from his journals, which I thought were even better written than the book.
The book ended on an upbeat note, and one year later, Dickey won 20 games and is in the Cy Young conversation. It also turns out he has been pitching with a torn abdominal muscle since his second start of the year, and will be having surgery immediately after the season ends. That he was able to do this should surprise exactly no one who reads this book.
This is a book which I can only describe as inspirational. I highly recommend it.
Dickey is the antithesis of the dumb jock; he is an intelligent, well-read and -spoken man who has an incredible story to tell. He was a first round bonus baby for Texas who lost his bonus--and a lot more--when his physical revealed an unknown physical abnormality in his pitching arm. He and his family went through years of hell as he struggled to make it back, and their struggles are chronicled throughout the book. My only real criticism of this book is that there are a lot of places in it I would have liked to know a little more or read a little deeper. The chapters are interspersed with thoughts from his journals, which I thought were even better written than the book.
The book ended on an upbeat note, and one year later, Dickey won 20 games and is in the Cy Young conversation. It also turns out he has been pitching with a torn abdominal muscle since his second start of the year, and will be having surgery immediately after the season ends. That he was able to do this should surprise exactly no one who reads this book.
This is a book which I can only describe as inspirational. I highly recommend it.
October 26, 2012
The reviews were correct--Dickey really lets it all hang out. I know it's the era of living aloud in public and confessing all, but I'm still not that comfortable with sharing everyone's deepest secrets. Of course for a lot of people it's posturing, creating a persona. I think Dickey's story is real.
And he is right about one thing: you need to be totally straighforward and honest with those you love in order to maintain a good, strong, and trusting relationship. Which means you first have to be honest with yourself, and be willing to admit and work through what you would rather forget or avoid. It's not quick or easy, and it never ends.
Dickey has relied on faith and prayer for support and comfort since he was a young man. He says he has finally really learned to trust and depend on God, but I think actually the hard truth he learned was that in the business of living a life with integrity the buck stops with each individual. The hard work, the heavy lifting, the ultimate responsibility comes down to you and your choices, or your refusal to make them. He may feel God's guidance in a stronger way now, but he earned it by providing the framework. And his friends and family absolutely deserve all the gratitude he gives them for being rock solid and always present.
Specific anecdotes and stories from his baseball career supplement and add color to Dickey's own story. I liked the way he acknowledged the serendipity involved in baseball success. He talks about many other players and coaches, some of them career minor leaguers, many of whom he believes to be as good or better than those who were called up. It matters: who sees you, when they see you, what they're looking for, how you're labeled, the team system you find yourself part of. Although Americans are loathe to admit it, you can work hard and do a good job and still be left behind. You can cheat and be successful and never get caught.
I've been lucky enough to see R.A. Dickey pitch a few times, including a one-hit complete game shutout. The knuckleball is a wonder to behold--especially and of course when you're a Mets fan and it's working right.
And he is right about one thing: you need to be totally straighforward and honest with those you love in order to maintain a good, strong, and trusting relationship. Which means you first have to be honest with yourself, and be willing to admit and work through what you would rather forget or avoid. It's not quick or easy, and it never ends.
Dickey has relied on faith and prayer for support and comfort since he was a young man. He says he has finally really learned to trust and depend on God, but I think actually the hard truth he learned was that in the business of living a life with integrity the buck stops with each individual. The hard work, the heavy lifting, the ultimate responsibility comes down to you and your choices, or your refusal to make them. He may feel God's guidance in a stronger way now, but he earned it by providing the framework. And his friends and family absolutely deserve all the gratitude he gives them for being rock solid and always present.
Specific anecdotes and stories from his baseball career supplement and add color to Dickey's own story. I liked the way he acknowledged the serendipity involved in baseball success. He talks about many other players and coaches, some of them career minor leaguers, many of whom he believes to be as good or better than those who were called up. It matters: who sees you, when they see you, what they're looking for, how you're labeled, the team system you find yourself part of. Although Americans are loathe to admit it, you can work hard and do a good job and still be left behind. You can cheat and be successful and never get caught.
I've been lucky enough to see R.A. Dickey pitch a few times, including a one-hit complete game shutout. The knuckleball is a wonder to behold--especially and of course when you're a Mets fan and it's working right.
June 16, 2012
As a die-hard Phillies fan, I will never like, or root for the Mets (I think it might actually be against the law in Philadelphia), but I now have a tremendous amount of respect for R.A. Dickey. I will now look forward to his his games against the Phillies much the same way he described pitching against Tim Wakefield; while I want to see him perform well on the mound, I still want my team to win. I know R.A. Dickey said that writing this book was part of his healing process, but I still can't believe the courage he mustered to put on paper all the things he faced as a child. I commend him for his ability to share his darkest secrets in the hopes of building a stronger relationship with his wife and children and everyone else in his life. I consider myself lucky to have read this book.
Thanks R.A.
And despite the religious undertones in the book, I think it speaks volumes that with over 50 Amazon reviews, there is not one single 1-star review and only one 2-star review. Even if you are not religious, this is still a great book about a person overcoming challenges in their life and becoming a stronger person because of it.
Thanks R.A.
And despite the religious undertones in the book, I think it speaks volumes that with over 50 Amazon reviews, there is not one single 1-star review and only one 2-star review. Even if you are not religious, this is still a great book about a person overcoming challenges in their life and becoming a stronger person because of it.
August 24, 2012
I was really hoping for a good sports autobiography here, and I was primed by a couple excerpts from Sports Illustrated. Dickey's story is unique in that he's finally found success as a major league pitcher in his mid-to-late 30s (the age where most athletes start fading or even retiring), and he's done it using what most people consider a gimmick pitch: the knuckleball. In addition, there's the "admission" that he when he was a kid, he was sexually abused by both his female babysitter and another male youth in separate incidents.
I'm not sure if co-writer Wayne Dickey sullied Dickey's story, or if it was Dickey himself, who had dreams of taking up a career as a high school English teacher when he was thinking about giving up his baseball career before its time. But a major problem with this book seems to be in the writing--a confusion of what makes an interesting detail versus what doesn't which results in some massive overwriting being the most egregious of weaknesses. There are other problems. There seems to be an overblowing of drama--most awfully demonstrated in the "R.A. Dickey Tries to Swim the Missouri River in His Flip Flops and Nearly Drowns But Turns It Into a Life-Changing Experience" anecdote. Yes, anecdote. Not saga. The repetition of odes to Dickey's personal savior and lord get numbingly stale, especially when the reader would like to know details about how Dickey "accomplished" something--simply chalking up the glory to god seems, well, boring and unnecessarily simplistic. And then there's an absence of content--a full story of the sexual abuse, a full story of Dickey's marital indiscretions, a full reaction to the world around. Maybe he just didn't want to give those details fully. Fine. But then it seemed a little misleading if he mentioned them at all.
Anyways. Dang. This book just seems like it should have been much better.
I'm not sure if co-writer Wayne Dickey sullied Dickey's story, or if it was Dickey himself, who had dreams of taking up a career as a high school English teacher when he was thinking about giving up his baseball career before its time. But a major problem with this book seems to be in the writing--a confusion of what makes an interesting detail versus what doesn't which results in some massive overwriting being the most egregious of weaknesses. There are other problems. There seems to be an overblowing of drama--most awfully demonstrated in the "R.A. Dickey Tries to Swim the Missouri River in His Flip Flops and Nearly Drowns But Turns It Into a Life-Changing Experience" anecdote. Yes, anecdote. Not saga. The repetition of odes to Dickey's personal savior and lord get numbingly stale, especially when the reader would like to know details about how Dickey "accomplished" something--simply chalking up the glory to god seems, well, boring and unnecessarily simplistic. And then there's an absence of content--a full story of the sexual abuse, a full story of Dickey's marital indiscretions, a full reaction to the world around. Maybe he just didn't want to give those details fully. Fine. But then it seemed a little misleading if he mentioned them at all.
Anyways. Dang. This book just seems like it should have been much better.
July 20, 2012
I'm a life long Mets fan, so it's hard not to get caught up in the Dickey season. It's wonderful. It's the reason why I picked up the book. I was being generous with a 3 rating, because it's hard to be mean and heartless. However, the book was a major disappointment. It was soft, thin, lacked depth, at times lacked continuity. It won't win any journalistic awards for quality of writing, it's all very basic.
Dickey is a thoughtful person, but none of that comes through here. From a distance, he appears as a genuinely nice guy. He comes across as the opposite, and a bit of a high and mighty whiner.
I'm a fan of Dickey, but not of this book. I think it's weak and lacks substance. Very fleeting in its story telling. I was looking for more. Perhaps the only time the reader gets any decent insight is when he attempts to swim the mighty Missouri River.
Dickey talks about an affair that almost ended his marriage and is a theme throughout the last half of the book. Yet, we get no insight as to how and when this happened or what caused the infidelity. I don't particularly need names and intimate details, but if you're going to make such a big deal about it, you owe the reader more than a pedestrian reference.
These type of thinly told stories make for a less than satisfying book. It's a shame, too, as I hoped for more.
Dickey is a thoughtful person, but none of that comes through here. From a distance, he appears as a genuinely nice guy. He comes across as the opposite, and a bit of a high and mighty whiner.
I'm a fan of Dickey, but not of this book. I think it's weak and lacks substance. Very fleeting in its story telling. I was looking for more. Perhaps the only time the reader gets any decent insight is when he attempts to swim the mighty Missouri River.
Dickey talks about an affair that almost ended his marriage and is a theme throughout the last half of the book. Yet, we get no insight as to how and when this happened or what caused the infidelity. I don't particularly need names and intimate details, but if you're going to make such a big deal about it, you owe the reader more than a pedestrian reference.
These type of thinly told stories make for a less than satisfying book. It's a shame, too, as I hoped for more.
July 21, 2020
A couple of reasons that I picked up this book. RA Dickey was a New York Met hero at the time when the Mets were particularly terrible (almost a decade ago now). This book also got rave reviews including the cover blurb comparing it to Jim Bouton’s seminal Ball Four.
To be like Bouton, one needs to be very candid and also tell a story. Both aspects are present in Dickey’s book.
Dickey has had an interesting life. His childhood was rough- sexual abuse, parental neglect, homelessness. He did manage to find an escape in baseball and was a top pitcher at the University of Tennessee.
He was a first round draft pick and on the road to money and stardom when a routine exam spoiled all that. Dickey would play in the minors for a decade and bounce around organizations, never able to fully break into the majors.
He was a knuckleball pitcher though and would eventually perfect it, finally becoming a full time major league player at age 35 and win the Cy Young Award for best pitcher at 37 (an age many players are retiring).
Dickey is interesting but the book at times felt lacking to me. It is a quick read with all that is good and bad about that. With an experienced writer helping like Coffey and a literary background of Dickey who is comfortable quoting Life of Pi, Hemingway and Merton- this was originally conceived as a journal and as developed as a book. I suspect that this might be the issue as it feels a bit overwritten at time. The book likes to be centered around an attempt by Dickey to swim across the Missouri River. I didn’t find that aspect as interesting as Dickey treats it. In fact, we are not on similar pages- I don't particularly find myself interested in Dickey's recollection of Johan Santana's no hitter (which he watched from the dugout).
The story splits between his baseball life and a spiritual journey. Perhaps, it splits its difference to its detriment. The book is likely too adult for young readers (Dickey has since written a YA version of his life story), but this could have easily been marketed for the faith-based market. Indeed, I would be more likely to recommend to people looking for that story instead of the baseball one. Both aspects are covered in detail.
For baseball fans, it is interesting to read about the knuckleball and how there is a fraternity of pitchers who bond over it- fans will recognize Wakefield, Neikro and Hough- all featured here.
Dickey drops in some observations from his Mets career at every chapter, though for me, they were more distracting than interesting. As a Mets fan, I have been spoiled by the great baseball minds who have written their story like Ron Darling and Keith Hernandez who really can’t be beat for insight. His anecdotes don't add a lot and his appreciation of Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran are fine, though mostly unremarkable (Not helped by the fact both have been painted with a post 2013 brush- Reyes for domestic abuse, Beltran for cheating at baseball via sign stealing)
Ultimately I felt Dickey has some keen insights but the book sticks to pretty standard baseball memoir territory. It’s understandable that Dickey dare not make enemies like Bouton did and there are times in life that I am sure he doesn’t want to share in detail like marital infidelity. I don’t fault him for that but it is a criticism I see from other readers of the book. In any case, it is a pretty lightweight affair.
Interestingly, the book was published before his Cy Young Award win and it is included in the epilogue- a perfect coda.
To be like Bouton, one needs to be very candid and also tell a story. Both aspects are present in Dickey’s book.
Dickey has had an interesting life. His childhood was rough- sexual abuse, parental neglect, homelessness. He did manage to find an escape in baseball and was a top pitcher at the University of Tennessee.
He was a first round draft pick and on the road to money and stardom when a routine exam spoiled all that. Dickey would play in the minors for a decade and bounce around organizations, never able to fully break into the majors.
He was a knuckleball pitcher though and would eventually perfect it, finally becoming a full time major league player at age 35 and win the Cy Young Award for best pitcher at 37 (an age many players are retiring).
Dickey is interesting but the book at times felt lacking to me. It is a quick read with all that is good and bad about that. With an experienced writer helping like Coffey and a literary background of Dickey who is comfortable quoting Life of Pi, Hemingway and Merton- this was originally conceived as a journal and as developed as a book. I suspect that this might be the issue as it feels a bit overwritten at time. The book likes to be centered around an attempt by Dickey to swim across the Missouri River. I didn’t find that aspect as interesting as Dickey treats it. In fact, we are not on similar pages- I don't particularly find myself interested in Dickey's recollection of Johan Santana's no hitter (which he watched from the dugout).
The story splits between his baseball life and a spiritual journey. Perhaps, it splits its difference to its detriment. The book is likely too adult for young readers (Dickey has since written a YA version of his life story), but this could have easily been marketed for the faith-based market. Indeed, I would be more likely to recommend to people looking for that story instead of the baseball one. Both aspects are covered in detail.
For baseball fans, it is interesting to read about the knuckleball and how there is a fraternity of pitchers who bond over it- fans will recognize Wakefield, Neikro and Hough- all featured here.
Dickey drops in some observations from his Mets career at every chapter, though for me, they were more distracting than interesting. As a Mets fan, I have been spoiled by the great baseball minds who have written their story like Ron Darling and Keith Hernandez who really can’t be beat for insight. His anecdotes don't add a lot and his appreciation of Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran are fine, though mostly unremarkable (Not helped by the fact both have been painted with a post 2013 brush- Reyes for domestic abuse, Beltran for cheating at baseball via sign stealing)
Ultimately I felt Dickey has some keen insights but the book sticks to pretty standard baseball memoir territory. It’s understandable that Dickey dare not make enemies like Bouton did and there are times in life that I am sure he doesn’t want to share in detail like marital infidelity. I don’t fault him for that but it is a criticism I see from other readers of the book. In any case, it is a pretty lightweight affair.
Interestingly, the book was published before his Cy Young Award win and it is included in the epilogue- a perfect coda.
January 1, 2013
The bittersweet irony of this book is that Dickey wrote it a year too early. Later in 2012, Dickey surprised everybody by exceeding the already-impressive achievements he'd written about and winning pitching's highest honour, the Cy Young. Have no fear though: I suspect there will be a forward added to future editions to treat this remarkable development in his life story.
That bittersweet irony goes even further for Mets fans (like myself). Toward the end of the book we see Dickey finally feeling at home professionally as a New York Met and lamenting the departure of players like Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran from that new home. But, unfortunately (for Mets fans), after winning the Cy Young, Dickey himself would stand his ground during winter contract negotiations with New York and ... wind up ... getting traded to the Blue Jays, where (more irony) he'll be reunited with Reyes in 2013.
All of that aside, it's an engaging story, and it's well written by Dickey and his partner Wayne Coffey. Dickey's unique personal struggles and his abnormally long road to "making it" as a pitcher make for good reading, and his affectionate examination of baseball's "brotherhood" of knuckle-ballers in the latter half of the book is fascinating.
That bittersweet irony goes even further for Mets fans (like myself). Toward the end of the book we see Dickey finally feeling at home professionally as a New York Met and lamenting the departure of players like Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran from that new home. But, unfortunately (for Mets fans), after winning the Cy Young, Dickey himself would stand his ground during winter contract negotiations with New York and ... wind up ... getting traded to the Blue Jays, where (more irony) he'll be reunited with Reyes in 2013.
All of that aside, it's an engaging story, and it's well written by Dickey and his partner Wayne Coffey. Dickey's unique personal struggles and his abnormally long road to "making it" as a pitcher make for good reading, and his affectionate examination of baseball's "brotherhood" of knuckle-ballers in the latter half of the book is fascinating.
October 9, 2012
I first heard R.A. Dickey on Fresh Air and was really struck by what a cerebral, thoughtful guy he was, especially for a professional athlete. As a former pitcher and literature major myself, I felt an immediate kinship with his view of sports and the world in general and I couldn't wait to pick up his autobiography.
I wasn't disappointed. The story of how he became a successful knuckleball pitcher after grinding it out for years in the minors was both heartbreaking and inspiring. He was courageous for talking about the sexual abuse he endured as a young boy and forthright about how it screwed him up and made it difficult to open up to people until he got some therapy and learned to confront his demons. I'm pretty certain that only someone who's played baseball can truly appreciate everything he's been through, but I don't know. Give it a read and let me know. I hope to track him down the next time he comes to Petco and get him to sign my book. Plus, I just really want to see him pitch. If you've never seen a knuckleball in the flesh, it's magical.
I wasn't disappointed. The story of how he became a successful knuckleball pitcher after grinding it out for years in the minors was both heartbreaking and inspiring. He was courageous for talking about the sexual abuse he endured as a young boy and forthright about how it screwed him up and made it difficult to open up to people until he got some therapy and learned to confront his demons. I'm pretty certain that only someone who's played baseball can truly appreciate everything he's been through, but I don't know. Give it a read and let me know. I hope to track him down the next time he comes to Petco and get him to sign my book. Plus, I just really want to see him pitch. If you've never seen a knuckleball in the flesh, it's magical.
August 19, 2012
I assume if you're reading this book, you're a baseball fan. I'll further assume that you're a Mets fan, and predisposed to enjoy an R.A. Dickey memoir. That still leaves a vast spectrum of possibilities from which you could be approaching this book.
I have watched Robert Alan Dickey pitch for dozens, or possibly hundreds of hours on my television and in person, and over that time I became a complete sucker for his story. He was picked in the first round but lost his signing bonus because he had no ligament in his arm? He remade himself as a knuckleballer ten years later? He wants to be an English teacher? He's older than I am? He loves Star Wars? I try not to get too wrapped up in athletes personal stories, because we never really know these guys. But I allowed myself the guilty pleasure of believing I knew R.A.
After reading this book, I'm sure I know R.A. My biggest fear was that I wouldn't learn anything new from this memoir. That was completely unfounded. As someone already invested in R.A.'s story, I was riveted, but I can't speak for how others will react. I will say that this was as personal and intimate and honest a narrative I've seen from a sports figure (although again, I don't go out of my way to read athletes' books), and that as a result you're almost forced to like R.A. Dickey less by the end. If you came in worshiping him, that is.
The book is too long, and too Jesus-heavy for me, but mostly it's a quick read. Wayne Coffey does a good job with the pacing and with sticking to a narrative throughline.
I have no idea about the rest of you, but there was no universe in which I would've failed to read this book. Now that I've read it, I can honestly say that it's good, assuming you approach the book wanting to enjoy it.
I have watched Robert Alan Dickey pitch for dozens, or possibly hundreds of hours on my television and in person, and over that time I became a complete sucker for his story. He was picked in the first round but lost his signing bonus because he had no ligament in his arm? He remade himself as a knuckleballer ten years later? He wants to be an English teacher? He's older than I am? He loves Star Wars? I try not to get too wrapped up in athletes personal stories, because we never really know these guys. But I allowed myself the guilty pleasure of believing I knew R.A.
After reading this book, I'm sure I know R.A. My biggest fear was that I wouldn't learn anything new from this memoir. That was completely unfounded. As someone already invested in R.A.'s story, I was riveted, but I can't speak for how others will react. I will say that this was as personal and intimate and honest a narrative I've seen from a sports figure (although again, I don't go out of my way to read athletes' books), and that as a result you're almost forced to like R.A. Dickey less by the end. If you came in worshiping him, that is.
The book is too long, and too Jesus-heavy for me, but mostly it's a quick read. Wayne Coffey does a good job with the pacing and with sticking to a narrative throughline.
I have no idea about the rest of you, but there was no universe in which I would've failed to read this book. Now that I've read it, I can honestly say that it's good, assuming you approach the book wanting to enjoy it.
August 30, 2012
Full disclosure: Mets fan, Dickey fan, Wayne Coffey fan.
I devoured this book. Partly because it was inspirational, but mostly because it was a quick read. I'd say 30/70 breakdown. I really wanted to love it, to hold it forever, to buy my own after I returned it to the library and send it to CitiField to have Dickey autograph it. But after the umpteenth aside about His blessings, I decided I'd rather buy a new Mets t-shirt instead.
It's not a bad book by any means, I just think the constant retread into capital Him territory got in the way of the rest of the storytelling. A particular game or anecdote would proceed along at a good clip, and then come to a screeching halt. Dickey doesn't prosthelytize, he's just a very passionate person. I understand the desire to chalk success after years and years of hard work to Him, but it was a more heavy-handed chalking than I was expecting.
Other than that, it's a captivating story, and ultimately uplifting. I have to wonder what it might be like if he wrote it after this season, his best one yet. While I won't be buying it, I'll borrow it again from the library ten years from now when he's put out a new edition with a foreword. I think that's fair.
I devoured this book. Partly because it was inspirational, but mostly because it was a quick read. I'd say 30/70 breakdown. I really wanted to love it, to hold it forever, to buy my own after I returned it to the library and send it to CitiField to have Dickey autograph it. But after the umpteenth aside about His blessings, I decided I'd rather buy a new Mets t-shirt instead.
It's not a bad book by any means, I just think the constant retread into capital Him territory got in the way of the rest of the storytelling. A particular game or anecdote would proceed along at a good clip, and then come to a screeching halt. Dickey doesn't prosthelytize, he's just a very passionate person. I understand the desire to chalk success after years and years of hard work to Him, but it was a more heavy-handed chalking than I was expecting.
Other than that, it's a captivating story, and ultimately uplifting. I have to wonder what it might be like if he wrote it after this season, his best one yet. While I won't be buying it, I'll borrow it again from the library ten years from now when he's put out a new edition with a foreword. I think that's fair.
December 27, 2012
If you, like me, are either a hopeless romantic, or a soulful wanderer, or a baseball fan with an endless reservoir of optimism, or just an appreciative reader of biography, you will surely enjoy R.A. Dickey's memoir, WHEREVER I WIND UP: MY QUEST FOR TRUTH, AUTHENTICITY, AND THE PERFECT KNUCKLEBALL as much as I do. I was captivated by Dickey's candor, honesty, and emotional growth. The son of an alcoholic mother and a self-absorbed father, and the victim of violent childhood sexual assault by two perpetrators, he overcomes innumerable obstacles and setbacks on the way to ultimate success. He was still playing in the minor leagues in the spring of 2010 at the age of 35--ancient for players in almost any sport--but now, at the age of 38, he is a Cy Young Award winner worth more than $4 million a season. You and I may not be professional athletes, but in many respects Dickey's story belongs to us all. This is a fine, fine book. I highly recommend it, especially for women as a gift to their husbands, fiances, boyfriends, and sons.
February 4, 2014
This book was not at all what I expected. Whether that was good or bad, it was certainly a surprising read. Instead of being a basic book about baseball, it was an account of RA Dickeys incredible life. Along with all the dark things he went through. This book is sort of like the Glass Castle and Angela's Ashes, and I would recommend it to a friend.
November 26, 2019
In “Wherever I Wind Up” R.A. Dickey tells his life story of family, faith and baseball. He tells about the abuse he endured when he was eight years old. He retells his change from a conventional pitcher to a knuckleball pitcher. He also highlights how his faith helped repair his life and marriage. He also shows how hard work and perseverance always pay off.
This memoir was incredibly powerful for many reasons. One is that fact that Dickey went public with his story of abuse as a child. This makes incredible strength and support to go public with that information. Another reason is the drastic change he made in the middle of his baseball career. This takes so much hard work to do and to then perform at an extremely high level.
Overall, I would definitely recommend this book. The qualities shown by Dickey are inspirational and should be seen and heard by all.
October 12, 2013
Fine book by a long-time minor league pitcher who defeats his demons and finds success in MLB . Better than "Ball Four"
February 18, 2019
An incredible look into the life of a professional baseball player who faced defeat after defeat before finding a love for the knuckleball!
August 14, 2022
If you’re looking for a sports book, this was okay. It’s a pretty good look at some of the aspects of baseball and its system. Dickey spent years in the minor leagues before he started pitching the knuckleball predominantly. However, I much preferred Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game for a interesting book on baseball and its management.
If you’re looking for the bio of a baseball pitcher, again it was okay. Dickey does get into his early life in Nashville (my hometown and one of the reasons why I was interested in his story). He discusses his difficult childhood, including an alcoholic mother and sexual abuse by a female babysitter as well as an older teenage bully (male). He manages to get himself to MBA (Montgomery Bell Academy), a prestigious Nashville prep school, and then to the University of Tennessee (my alma mater) where he becomes a pitching sensation. He’s offered a big league contract, only to have it revoked when a routine physical reveals a missing ligament in his arm. He does get his foot into the door, but has ups and downs until he is asked to specialize in the knuckleball, a pitch that is difficult to master in addition to being difficult to hit. His story is one that is interesting, but it almost feels somewhat superficial. There is little discussion of the abuse. His infidelity barely merits a few sentences. I just think that if you bring it up, if it’s a major life event, you need to give the reader more depth, more examination. If you’re looking for a sports bio, I suggest The Boys in the Boat: Nine Americans and Their Epic Quest for Gold at the 1936 Berlin Olympics with its look at the life of Joe Rantz.
If you’re wanting an inspirational book, this would be a decent choice, especially if you want a religious bent. Dickey’s book is much better when you consider the obstacles he overcame - from his earliest beginnings up through his struggles with playing big league ball. Time and again, he faces setbacks and obstacles. He struggles with his early abuse, marital problems, even considering suicide. He keeps at it - this man has a huge work ethic - and eventually works his way to the majors (and even that is a bumpy ride). This was written prior to his winning the Cy Young award (best pitcher). So the book stops before that magic season with the Mets. He emphasizes his Christianity - beginning in high school - but it is not preachy. He struggles with his faith and doubts, but after an attempt to swim the Missouri River that nearly took his life, he comes to a deeper faith and places not only his career, but his entire life, in the hands of God.
There were plenty of things that I liked as a Nashville native. He mentions Taco Tico - the only Mexican restaurant I knew of when I was a teenager. He goes to MBA which was 15 minutes (and a elite world) away from the house I grew up in. He talks about playing football against Hillwood HS - which I attended for 6 years (HHS was a comprehensive high school and covered 7th to 12th grade.). He mentions landmarks - Nolensville road and Green Hills among them - that are so familiar to me.
I liked this book and it was good. But it had the potential to be even better. So if you’re a fan, you’ll probably like this and ditto if you’re looking for an inspirational book with a sports bent.
If you’re looking for the bio of a baseball pitcher, again it was okay. Dickey does get into his early life in Nashville (my hometown and one of the reasons why I was interested in his story). He discusses his difficult childhood, including an alcoholic mother and sexual abuse by a female babysitter as well as an older teenage bully (male). He manages to get himself to MBA (Montgomery Bell Academy), a prestigious Nashville prep school, and then to the University of Tennessee (my alma mater) where he becomes a pitching sensation. He’s offered a big league contract, only to have it revoked when a routine physical reveals a missing ligament in his arm. He does get his foot into the door, but has ups and downs until he is asked to specialize in the knuckleball, a pitch that is difficult to master in addition to being difficult to hit. His story is one that is interesting, but it almost feels somewhat superficial. There is little discussion of the abuse. His infidelity barely merits a few sentences. I just think that if you bring it up, if it’s a major life event, you need to give the reader more depth, more examination. If you’re looking for a sports bio, I suggest The Boys in the Boat: Nine Americans and Their Epic Quest for Gold at the 1936 Berlin Olympics with its look at the life of Joe Rantz.
If you’re wanting an inspirational book, this would be a decent choice, especially if you want a religious bent. Dickey’s book is much better when you consider the obstacles he overcame - from his earliest beginnings up through his struggles with playing big league ball. Time and again, he faces setbacks and obstacles. He struggles with his early abuse, marital problems, even considering suicide. He keeps at it - this man has a huge work ethic - and eventually works his way to the majors (and even that is a bumpy ride). This was written prior to his winning the Cy Young award (best pitcher). So the book stops before that magic season with the Mets. He emphasizes his Christianity - beginning in high school - but it is not preachy. He struggles with his faith and doubts, but after an attempt to swim the Missouri River that nearly took his life, he comes to a deeper faith and places not only his career, but his entire life, in the hands of God.
There were plenty of things that I liked as a Nashville native. He mentions Taco Tico - the only Mexican restaurant I knew of when I was a teenager. He goes to MBA which was 15 minutes (and a elite world) away from the house I grew up in. He talks about playing football against Hillwood HS - which I attended for 6 years (HHS was a comprehensive high school and covered 7th to 12th grade.). He mentions landmarks - Nolensville road and Green Hills among them - that are so familiar to me.
I liked this book and it was good. But it had the potential to be even better. So if you’re a fan, you’ll probably like this and ditto if you’re looking for an inspirational book with a sports bent.
August 28, 2017
As much spiritual autobiography as baseball memoir, it has ups and downs. Dickey's personal background and what he overcame really is noteworthy, and he gives deserved credit to the many people who loved him and supported his dream.
I think it can be an issue that he uses Christian lingo to describe his experience without explaining what it means. He sort of jumps from conversion to treating his religious life as assumed, and it can read as a dramatic shift that isn't really explained. Not that "faith" needs to be explained, per se, but it feels like every step of his career was given its due, while the central feature of his inner life didn't get the same treatment. As such, his frequent mentions of his relationship to his faith later in the book can feel jarring because the reader is left out of that process.
Still, a good baseball memoir about the struggle to live up to high expectations and surviving the random vicissitudes of the minor leagues.
I think it can be an issue that he uses Christian lingo to describe his experience without explaining what it means. He sort of jumps from conversion to treating his religious life as assumed, and it can read as a dramatic shift that isn't really explained. Not that "faith" needs to be explained, per se, but it feels like every step of his career was given its due, while the central feature of his inner life didn't get the same treatment. As such, his frequent mentions of his relationship to his faith later in the book can feel jarring because the reader is left out of that process.
Still, a good baseball memoir about the struggle to live up to high expectations and surviving the random vicissitudes of the minor leagues.
January 29, 2019
Dickey’s book follows his life, from being a youngster to entering the world of professional baseball. The beginning of the book describes the abuse he encountered as a child, which continues to impact his life throughout the book, and which seems to be the impetus for his focus on religion. The bulk of the book covers Dickey’s professional baseball career, and it is more up and down than the average player. Given Dickey’s extensive experience in the minors, I expected this to have that minor league flavor. Instead of getting extended descriptions of the lower leagues (and you do get some of this), you get a lot more about Dickey’s take on his career. It’s a more personal book than I initially expected. Given that it’s personal, the book rises and falls based on how well you like Dickey. In the end, I would consider him in a slightly positive manner, but based on some of his responses to events that seem a bit whiny, his stories about issues with his marriage, and his many anecdotes ending in prayer, he comes across as a bit overwhelming. Interesting book, and great telling the story of learning the knuckleball over the last ten years or so.
April 16, 2025
I was in high school during RA’s Cy Young season with the Mets. I certainly was aware of his name, and knew he was a great pitcher, but I didn’t know much else. This memoir was an incredible inside look at his struggles on and off the field, as a child and athlete. I appreciate Dickey’s candidness, and willingness to lay it all out there. Even though he’s retired, knowing about all the adversity he pushed through makes me want to root for him from now on. Overall, this is a great human interest story to show that athletes are people just like us.
July 23, 2021
Love a good baseball journeyman story!!
February 18, 2013
I wanted to like this book more than I actually did. As a lifelong Mets fan marooned deep in Red Sox territory, a fan of pitchers' games, knuckleballers, underdogs and the quiet pursuit of humble excellence, I was predisposed to like it. And R.A. Dickey's articulate self-presentation in various interviews about the book got me over any aversion I have to sports memoirs as a genre.
There are some beautiful passages in the book, particularly in those inter-chapter sections presented as journal entries from the 2011 season. In the end, there were several aspects of this book that diminished my enjoyment of it--aspects that might not seem problematic to all other readers, but that were for me.
1. Clearly Dickey's Christian faith is something that was essential for him in becoming the person he is today. As an atheist of Jewish origin, it is not something I share. That is not to say that I cannot appreciate a piece of writing animated by Christianity: St. Augustine's Confessions, or the metaphysical poetry of John Donne, come to mind as examples. Dickey would be humble enough to admit that he is neither Augustine nor Donne. What I found problematic, however, was the frequency with which tenets of faith came to hand in the narrative as substitutes for or obstacles to introspection.
2. Perhaps related to that, his lack of candor about the episode of marital infidelity made it harder to trust his narrative overall. One is left wondering how much he has shaped it to minimize the pain of the telling. It is one thing to hold back on the details of his childhood abuse--that was a situation in which he was the victim, and he has a right to say as much or as little as he feels is necessary. That is not the case with the infidelity. In a Calvinist world-view in which sin is sin, and there are no shadings or mitigations, the details of sin matter little. But not all readers come with Calvinist-derived world-views, and some may feel that the details of his transgressions may be more significant than he feels they are.
3. This is purely subjective: As someone who experienced childhood abuse (though not of the same sort as Dickey's), narratives involving such abuse have an unpredictable impact on me. Some (e.g. Dorothy Allison's "Bastard Out of Carolina") provoke catharsis without necessarily leading to me reliving the feelings of fear and betrayal that went with the experience. This was not the case in the reading of this book: It brought me to a bad place. That's not Dickey's fault, but it meant that I cannot truly say that I "enjoyed" it.
4. Lastly, the choice of present tense for the narrative was jarring. It could have worked, but would need to have been handled with better stylistic consistency than was the case in this book. This is something with which either the co-author or the editor at the publishing house should have helped.
So now that the Mets under the Wilpon dictatorship were stupid enough (as usual) to not pay the price necessary to hold onto a Cy Young winner, maybe this season, if Dickey starts for Blue Jays at any Red Sox home games, I'll take my life into my hands and visit Fenway to root for the knuckleballer. I hope he has a long career with continued success. But I also hope that when the time comes to hang up his glove, he finishes his schooling, continues to write, turns his attention to fiction, and finds some editors willing to show the same tough love the best of his coaches and managers did in his baseball career. With intelligence and imagination, he could transmute his fears and triumphs into the stuff of a new C.S. Lewis. This book is not it.
There are some beautiful passages in the book, particularly in those inter-chapter sections presented as journal entries from the 2011 season. In the end, there were several aspects of this book that diminished my enjoyment of it--aspects that might not seem problematic to all other readers, but that were for me.
1. Clearly Dickey's Christian faith is something that was essential for him in becoming the person he is today. As an atheist of Jewish origin, it is not something I share. That is not to say that I cannot appreciate a piece of writing animated by Christianity: St. Augustine's Confessions, or the metaphysical poetry of John Donne, come to mind as examples. Dickey would be humble enough to admit that he is neither Augustine nor Donne. What I found problematic, however, was the frequency with which tenets of faith came to hand in the narrative as substitutes for or obstacles to introspection.
2. Perhaps related to that, his lack of candor about the episode of marital infidelity made it harder to trust his narrative overall. One is left wondering how much he has shaped it to minimize the pain of the telling. It is one thing to hold back on the details of his childhood abuse--that was a situation in which he was the victim, and he has a right to say as much or as little as he feels is necessary. That is not the case with the infidelity. In a Calvinist world-view in which sin is sin, and there are no shadings or mitigations, the details of sin matter little. But not all readers come with Calvinist-derived world-views, and some may feel that the details of his transgressions may be more significant than he feels they are.
3. This is purely subjective: As someone who experienced childhood abuse (though not of the same sort as Dickey's), narratives involving such abuse have an unpredictable impact on me. Some (e.g. Dorothy Allison's "Bastard Out of Carolina") provoke catharsis without necessarily leading to me reliving the feelings of fear and betrayal that went with the experience. This was not the case in the reading of this book: It brought me to a bad place. That's not Dickey's fault, but it meant that I cannot truly say that I "enjoyed" it.
4. Lastly, the choice of present tense for the narrative was jarring. It could have worked, but would need to have been handled with better stylistic consistency than was the case in this book. This is something with which either the co-author or the editor at the publishing house should have helped.
So now that the Mets under the Wilpon dictatorship were stupid enough (as usual) to not pay the price necessary to hold onto a Cy Young winner, maybe this season, if Dickey starts for Blue Jays at any Red Sox home games, I'll take my life into my hands and visit Fenway to root for the knuckleballer. I hope he has a long career with continued success. But I also hope that when the time comes to hang up his glove, he finishes his schooling, continues to write, turns his attention to fiction, and finds some editors willing to show the same tough love the best of his coaches and managers did in his baseball career. With intelligence and imagination, he could transmute his fears and triumphs into the stuff of a new C.S. Lewis. This book is not it.
March 31, 2014
I listened to the audiobook. I'm familiar with Dickey's voice and was certain that he was reading it; it wasn't until the very last line of the recording ("read by...") that revealed it was actually someone else. One of my kudos had been the power of hearing him describe his childhood abuse, and turns out it wasn't him.
The book uses the classic narrative structure of starting in the painful middle, then jumping backwards to the beginning and building up to the painful middle and onward to the triumphant finish. The childhood section of the book was the best, and I'm glad that significant attention was put to this portion of life that is so often snipped from biographies. The problems come when we get back to the middle and starting jumping all over time and space, which makes for a very confusing listen. I was surprised to learn that the book was written prior to Dickey's Cy Young award season, meaning the triumphant finish isn't even all that triumphant. Knowing his story, it would have been the perfect and fitting way to finish the tale. At least he gets that narrative arc in real life, if not the book. (I was also amazed to realize he had the clout to get the book published before said award-winning season.)
I was puzzled by the complete glossing over of his affair. Suddenly his wife is calling him and saying their marriage is in trouble and the reader is like "wha?" before he finally mentions that he had an affair. In classic style the affair is attributed to a "momentary lapse in judgment" but I was left wondering how someone who doesn't drink or do drugs accidentally falls into someone else's vagina. For a book that is so much about finding "truth, authenticity" and being honest with himself, he certainly wasn't honest with the reader here.
Similarly, the whole book seems to be building up to the moment he tells his wife about his childhood abuse... except that moment doesn't make it into the book at all. One minute he's doing great work with a therapist, the next time it comes up his wife knows and loves him all the same. Great for him, but how did that conversation go? Similarly, one chapter he's walking out on his mother and a few chapters later suddenly she's back in the narrative and they have a great relationship. Ditto to his therapist. Meanwhile he devotes 500-1000 words to non-sequiturs about Carlos Beltran and Jose Reyes (the latter being an aside so winding I have no idea if it was ultimately meant to be a celebration or skewering).
Knowing that Dickey is a born-again Christian I was fascinated to note that how he describes his relationship with God (merciful, forgiving, full of hope, etc) seems to be completely at odds with how he actually is (judgmental and very hard on himself). Several chapters are incredibly repetitive on the theme of "I hate myself but God loves me," to the point I thought the book would be better titled The Self-Flagellation of R.A. Dickey.
Dickey doesn't strike me as someone known for his sense of humour, but there are a few funny moments sprinkled throughout, to break up what is otherwise a fairly serious book. I think the audiobook highlighted the flaws (some chapters were really tedious slogging listens); the book probably goes over better as a quick read. I think there was a good book in here, it just needed to be edited much more tightly, and reworked to be less self-indulgent (all those voice 1/voice 2 conversations and journal entries), and for him to crack open and actually relay the truth and authenticity promised in the title.
The book uses the classic narrative structure of starting in the painful middle, then jumping backwards to the beginning and building up to the painful middle and onward to the triumphant finish. The childhood section of the book was the best, and I'm glad that significant attention was put to this portion of life that is so often snipped from biographies. The problems come when we get back to the middle and starting jumping all over time and space, which makes for a very confusing listen. I was surprised to learn that the book was written prior to Dickey's Cy Young award season, meaning the triumphant finish isn't even all that triumphant. Knowing his story, it would have been the perfect and fitting way to finish the tale. At least he gets that narrative arc in real life, if not the book. (I was also amazed to realize he had the clout to get the book published before said award-winning season.)
I was puzzled by the complete glossing over of his affair. Suddenly his wife is calling him and saying their marriage is in trouble and the reader is like "wha?" before he finally mentions that he had an affair. In classic style the affair is attributed to a "momentary lapse in judgment" but I was left wondering how someone who doesn't drink or do drugs accidentally falls into someone else's vagina. For a book that is so much about finding "truth, authenticity" and being honest with himself, he certainly wasn't honest with the reader here.
Similarly, the whole book seems to be building up to the moment he tells his wife about his childhood abuse... except that moment doesn't make it into the book at all. One minute he's doing great work with a therapist, the next time it comes up his wife knows and loves him all the same. Great for him, but how did that conversation go? Similarly, one chapter he's walking out on his mother and a few chapters later suddenly she's back in the narrative and they have a great relationship. Ditto to his therapist. Meanwhile he devotes 500-1000 words to non-sequiturs about Carlos Beltran and Jose Reyes (the latter being an aside so winding I have no idea if it was ultimately meant to be a celebration or skewering).
Knowing that Dickey is a born-again Christian I was fascinated to note that how he describes his relationship with God (merciful, forgiving, full of hope, etc) seems to be completely at odds with how he actually is (judgmental and very hard on himself). Several chapters are incredibly repetitive on the theme of "I hate myself but God loves me," to the point I thought the book would be better titled The Self-Flagellation of R.A. Dickey.
Dickey doesn't strike me as someone known for his sense of humour, but there are a few funny moments sprinkled throughout, to break up what is otherwise a fairly serious book. I think the audiobook highlighted the flaws (some chapters were really tedious slogging listens); the book probably goes over better as a quick read. I think there was a good book in here, it just needed to be edited much more tightly, and reworked to be less self-indulgent (all those voice 1/voice 2 conversations and journal entries), and for him to crack open and actually relay the truth and authenticity promised in the title.
April 17, 2012
This is a fascinating tale, about a fascinating man. R.A. Dickey is much more than a talented pitcher: He is a former English lit college student; he once [attempted to] swim the Missouri [and was partially successful]; and most recently climbed to the summit of Mount Kilimanjaro, a height of over 19,000 feet, for charity, in an effort to raise awareness and funds to stop human trafficking and prostitution in Mumbai. He is a devout Christian, and though at times less than perfect as a Christian, husband and father, that is no longer the case, and there can be no doubt as to his love for and devotion to his wife [his childhood sweetheart], his children and his God.
Nominally, and obviously, a sports book, this novel is much more than that. To the author’s credit, he names names, and is generous in his praise while being candid in his assessments when circumstances warrant it. In addition to an insider’s view of the game of baseball, there is the occasional quote from ancient Greek or Chinese philosophers. In 2011 he completed his 15th season of professional baseball, in a remarkable story. Despite some horrific abuse suffered when he was eight years old, detailed in the book, he overcame great odds to be where he is today, also detailed in the book.
Full disclosure: This reviewer is a passionate fan of the New York Mets, the team where Mr. Dickey is now a trusted part of the five-man pitching rotation, and I have been a Mets full-season ticket holder for 25 years, attending at least 70 [out of 81] home games each of those years. But my admiration for the author goes beyond the obvious – he is a courageous human being as well, as this book makes clear. Called a “phenom” when he started out, he was the Tennessee State player as a senior in 1993, an All-American at the University of Tennessee and a starter for Team USA in the 1996 Olympics. After playing in the minor leagues over a long period of time, he is offered a signing bonus of $810,000 by the Texas Rangers. It is the realization of his dream. Until he undergoes the routine physical examination required before the contract can be signed, and it is found that he was apparently born without an ulnar collateral ligament – the main stabilizing ligament - in his elbow, and the offer is summarily withdrawn. Ultimately, he signs for $75,000.00. How he proved himself, remained in the major leagues, and became one of the premier – and few – knuckleball pitchers pitching today, is quite a tale.
The book is highly recommended, for readers who are baseball fans certainly, but for those who are not as well. As you can probably tell, I loved it.
Nominally, and obviously, a sports book, this novel is much more than that. To the author’s credit, he names names, and is generous in his praise while being candid in his assessments when circumstances warrant it. In addition to an insider’s view of the game of baseball, there is the occasional quote from ancient Greek or Chinese philosophers. In 2011 he completed his 15th season of professional baseball, in a remarkable story. Despite some horrific abuse suffered when he was eight years old, detailed in the book, he overcame great odds to be where he is today, also detailed in the book.
Full disclosure: This reviewer is a passionate fan of the New York Mets, the team where Mr. Dickey is now a trusted part of the five-man pitching rotation, and I have been a Mets full-season ticket holder for 25 years, attending at least 70 [out of 81] home games each of those years. But my admiration for the author goes beyond the obvious – he is a courageous human being as well, as this book makes clear. Called a “phenom” when he started out, he was the Tennessee State player as a senior in 1993, an All-American at the University of Tennessee and a starter for Team USA in the 1996 Olympics. After playing in the minor leagues over a long period of time, he is offered a signing bonus of $810,000 by the Texas Rangers. It is the realization of his dream. Until he undergoes the routine physical examination required before the contract can be signed, and it is found that he was apparently born without an ulnar collateral ligament – the main stabilizing ligament - in his elbow, and the offer is summarily withdrawn. Ultimately, he signs for $75,000.00. How he proved himself, remained in the major leagues, and became one of the premier – and few – knuckleball pitchers pitching today, is quite a tale.
The book is highly recommended, for readers who are baseball fans certainly, but for those who are not as well. As you can probably tell, I loved it.
July 13, 2012
R.A. Dickey’s stirring memoir “Wherever I Wind Up” is an intriguing reminder that baseball is, to many folks, so much more than just a whimsical game that possesses only recreational appeal. For many of us, baseball is therapeutic or at times even a haven in which we remain, protected from all that threatens to harm us, until the tumultuous tide of our lives has finally ceased to batter us and toss us about.
Mr. Dickey is not just another athlete; he is a wonderful amalgamation of athletic prowess and soul and engaging intellect. More noteworthy is his tale, one that is inspirational on many levels. He teaches us that even in our darkest hours, there is hope. And that hope can be found many times on a baseball diamond, where there is order and structure that is lacking elsewhere.
From the horrors of abuse as a child, to the crushing disappointment of an injury that all but eradicated his dream forever, R.A. Dickey persevered. This wonderful story of resiliency and redemption is one to which all folks can relate, not just baseball junkies. I suppose that I have such an affinity for this story because of the series I have written. The Legend of Mickey Tussler, although fiction, tells a similar tale. For those of you not familiar with my Mickey Tussler series (The Legend of Mickey Tussler and the sequel Sophomore Campaign), the novels chronicle the coming of age of young Mickey Tussler – a pitching phenom with Asperger’s syndrome, a form of autism.
Mickey’s struggle for acceptance on a minor league baseball team during the 1940s helps to shape a story about overcoming obstacles, self-discovery, and the human condition.
As we begin the second half of the baseball season, perhaps we should remain mindful that so many of our baseball idols are not impervious to the awful vicissitudes of life that plague the rest of us. In fact, many of these “chosen ones” who are not nearly as articulate as R.A. Dickey suffer in silence, with the ballpark serving as their only refuge.
I’m quite certain that R.A. Dickey’s telling of his story was cathartic for him, as is all good writing. However, let us not diminish for a second the value it continues to have for the general public -- “regular folks” who are looking for guidance and inspiration wherever they can find it -- yes, even on the baseball field.
Mr. Dickey is not just another athlete; he is a wonderful amalgamation of athletic prowess and soul and engaging intellect. More noteworthy is his tale, one that is inspirational on many levels. He teaches us that even in our darkest hours, there is hope. And that hope can be found many times on a baseball diamond, where there is order and structure that is lacking elsewhere.
From the horrors of abuse as a child, to the crushing disappointment of an injury that all but eradicated his dream forever, R.A. Dickey persevered. This wonderful story of resiliency and redemption is one to which all folks can relate, not just baseball junkies. I suppose that I have such an affinity for this story because of the series I have written. The Legend of Mickey Tussler, although fiction, tells a similar tale. For those of you not familiar with my Mickey Tussler series (The Legend of Mickey Tussler and the sequel Sophomore Campaign), the novels chronicle the coming of age of young Mickey Tussler – a pitching phenom with Asperger’s syndrome, a form of autism.
Mickey’s struggle for acceptance on a minor league baseball team during the 1940s helps to shape a story about overcoming obstacles, self-discovery, and the human condition.
As we begin the second half of the baseball season, perhaps we should remain mindful that so many of our baseball idols are not impervious to the awful vicissitudes of life that plague the rest of us. In fact, many of these “chosen ones” who are not nearly as articulate as R.A. Dickey suffer in silence, with the ballpark serving as their only refuge.
I’m quite certain that R.A. Dickey’s telling of his story was cathartic for him, as is all good writing. However, let us not diminish for a second the value it continues to have for the general public -- “regular folks” who are looking for guidance and inspiration wherever they can find it -- yes, even on the baseball field.
November 2, 2012
I never wrote a review for this book because at one point I had planned to dedicate a whole blog post to it. That didn't end up happening, so I came back to at least summarize my thoughts.
This book was so, so good. Comes in at #2 for best book I read this year, just behind Stephen King's 11/22/63. If you like baseball, READ THIS BOOK. If you don't like baseball, you still would probably like this book.
R.A. Dickey is so honest about his experiences, and he tells his story so humbly. It's impossible not to root for his MLB success, even though, by the end, you end up getting the sense that he'd be just fine even if he couldn't carve out a Major-League career.
The book finishes sometime in 2011, during his first year with the New York Mets. Now it's the end of 2012, and he had another fantastic year with the Mets and is even in contention for the Cy Young award. Without reading this book, it's quite difficult to understand and appreciate just how far he's come and just how huge a deal it is that he got 20 wins this season and is up for the Cy Young.
Dickey has shot to the top of my list of favorite baseball players (a list that is mostly populated with Royals players), and I'll definitely be watching more Mets games next year and rooting for him and all his Ks!
My favorite thing about watching the one game I watched him pitch this year was also watching his fans on the third-base line, who had these signs up spelling out his name - one sign for each letter, D-I-C-K-E-Y. Then, with each strikeout, they added a K in the middle so that, by the end of that game, the third-base-line sign read like this: D-I-C-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-E-Y. It was awesome. The commentators even joked at one point that, as hot as Dickey was, they weren't sure the fans had brought enough signs.
Anyway, check out this book. Totally worth it.
This book was so, so good. Comes in at #2 for best book I read this year, just behind Stephen King's 11/22/63. If you like baseball, READ THIS BOOK. If you don't like baseball, you still would probably like this book.
R.A. Dickey is so honest about his experiences, and he tells his story so humbly. It's impossible not to root for his MLB success, even though, by the end, you end up getting the sense that he'd be just fine even if he couldn't carve out a Major-League career.
The book finishes sometime in 2011, during his first year with the New York Mets. Now it's the end of 2012, and he had another fantastic year with the Mets and is even in contention for the Cy Young award. Without reading this book, it's quite difficult to understand and appreciate just how far he's come and just how huge a deal it is that he got 20 wins this season and is up for the Cy Young.
Dickey has shot to the top of my list of favorite baseball players (a list that is mostly populated with Royals players), and I'll definitely be watching more Mets games next year and rooting for him and all his Ks!
My favorite thing about watching the one game I watched him pitch this year was also watching his fans on the third-base line, who had these signs up spelling out his name - one sign for each letter, D-I-C-K-E-Y. Then, with each strikeout, they added a K in the middle so that, by the end of that game, the third-base-line sign read like this: D-I-C-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-E-Y. It was awesome. The commentators even joked at one point that, as hot as Dickey was, they weren't sure the fans had brought enough signs.
Anyway, check out this book. Totally worth it.
December 21, 2016
It was a raw look into an athlete's life. Not everything is rosy posey. Not everyone makes it big. But it's a pretty wonderful story of redemption. Amidst all the crap that goes on and he goes through, it's nice to know he did well.
I think I'd like a new edition after he retires and talks about winning the Cy Young, and making it to the playoffs, and his decline into retirement.
As in depth and dark as parts of his bio go, there was one section that was way too vague and ambiguous. Did he have a marital affair? It really doesn't make that clear. I wish he went into more detail about the struggles in his marriage, as struggles in marriage are a real thing that a lot of people go through and could relate to.
I also like his openness with his faith. His trust and reliance on Jesus and how that has pulled him out of jams and been the driving force for him, was very refreshing. Furthermore, the fact that he doesn't have it all together, and that he's failed God, his wife, his family and teammates, shows a humility I admire.
The writing style itself is nothing to wow at. But it works. His love for literature and Star Wars make me feel like a kindred spirit. Of course, his respect for God also had me tied into the book.
A great read for any baseball fan, or general sport fan.
I think I'd like a new edition after he retires and talks about winning the Cy Young, and making it to the playoffs, and his decline into retirement.
As in depth and dark as parts of his bio go, there was one section that was way too vague and ambiguous. Did he have a marital affair? It really doesn't make that clear. I wish he went into more detail about the struggles in his marriage, as struggles in marriage are a real thing that a lot of people go through and could relate to.
I also like his openness with his faith. His trust and reliance on Jesus and how that has pulled him out of jams and been the driving force for him, was very refreshing. Furthermore, the fact that he doesn't have it all together, and that he's failed God, his wife, his family and teammates, shows a humility I admire.
The writing style itself is nothing to wow at. But it works. His love for literature and Star Wars make me feel like a kindred spirit. Of course, his respect for God also had me tied into the book.
A great read for any baseball fan, or general sport fan.
June 7, 2016
I had mixed feelings about this book. Dickey's personal story is interesting, and told in a readable, introspective fashion, which I really enjoyed. It's clear that he really has undergone a lot of self-examination, and is a thoughtful guy. And of course his personal story--being sexually abused as a child, sleeping in abandoned houses, broken family, etc.--is pretty harrowing , and he is clearly a very bright guy.
That said, the book left me a little bit wanting--that there was more he had to say, but didn't, because he's still a current player, and because he wasn't as interested in examining his relationships with other people (save his wife) as he was himself. That's fine of course, but ultimately I felt like there was a more interesting book that wasn't written.
His Christian faith is clearly genuine and very important to him, and his career, marriage, and life more generally. He certainly doesn't try to proselytize his readers, but nonetheless for a non-Christian it can be difficult to identify with him at times.
Otherwise, I thought his propensity to use similes and metaphors grated at times, as some of them were rather forced. But this book is a quick read, an interesting personal story, and one most baseball fans probably will enjoy.
That said, the book left me a little bit wanting--that there was more he had to say, but didn't, because he's still a current player, and because he wasn't as interested in examining his relationships with other people (save his wife) as he was himself. That's fine of course, but ultimately I felt like there was a more interesting book that wasn't written.
His Christian faith is clearly genuine and very important to him, and his career, marriage, and life more generally. He certainly doesn't try to proselytize his readers, but nonetheless for a non-Christian it can be difficult to identify with him at times.
Otherwise, I thought his propensity to use similes and metaphors grated at times, as some of them were rather forced. But this book is a quick read, an interesting personal story, and one most baseball fans probably will enjoy.
February 19, 2013
Mr. Dickey has written one of the most inspiring autobiographies I've encountered. Mr. Dickey may still be seeking to become consistently authentic, but his writing has found it. I was amazed by the way the narrative starts with the simple voice of a child and builds through his personal stages of darkness and enlightenment to speak as a man at peace, but still fighting his way on the path of life. Certainly his path may be in a world most men dream to walk, but the struggles he faces bear exact parallels to those in my own life. Mr. Dickey is able to capture more than the specific trials he encountered. He is able to clearly explain the mental and emotional doubts and frustration that we all face, regardless of the particular trouble. He wonderfully relates his first true experience of prayer, describing the feeling simply as the drawing in of a deep breath, expressing the simplicity of the relationship but also the deepness of life at the core of his revelation. Mr. Dickey provides inspiration and encouragement for each person to learn to be true to themselves and live fully in the moment, fully devoting one's self to truly living.
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