What do you think?
Rate this book
Alien Baggage Allowance
Forget the Fermi Paradox: we're not alone and we've been visited...
...by a new book from the celestial body that is Humble Nations. Presented as eighty-two whimsical, funny little tales, he speculates what it would mean for mankind if we were to be visited by aliens. The silliness of the writing shines like little stars from every page.
Eighty-two contacts fired off in under 25,000 words.
MAY CONTAIN: Adult humour and anal probing.
NOT SUITABLE FOR: Children, asinimophobics, or those of a serious disposition.
...by a new book from the celestial body that is Humble Nations. Presented as eighty-two whimsical, funny little tales, he speculates what it would mean for mankind if we were to be visited by aliens. The silliness of the writing shines like little stars from every page.
Eighty-two contacts fired off in under 25,000 words.
MAY CONTAIN: Adult humour and anal probing.
NOT SUITABLE FOR: Children, asinimophobics, or those of a serious disposition.
180 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 12, 2015
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
November 4, 2022
They came from outer space...
How many science fiction books have been written about humans’ first contact with an alien species? Thousands, possibly tens of thousands, I’d guess. After all, there are so many different scenarios, so many different ways events could unfold. Imagination can scarcely encompass the huge number of possible forms the Visitors might take or what their motives might be. Perhaps even more of a question is how we, the human race, might respond.
Alien Baggage Allowance is one author’s rapid fire exploration of this huge space of possibilities. In mini-stories ranging from a few paragraphs to a few pages, James Helps presents a gallery of vignettes about what might happen “When they came”.
These bizarre tales are sometimes hilarious, sometimes satirical, often cringe-inducing. Though they’re very short, I could not read too many at one sitting, partially because some of them made me distinctly uncomfortable. This is clearly the author’s intention. As I proceeded to the end of the book, it became clear that these stories aren’t really about aliens, but rather, about us.
Actually, these stories would not be inappropriate for Halloween. Some of them inspire a sense of horror. Intentionally.
If you’re looking for laughs mixed with some intellectual and moral challenges, grab a copy of this quirky and original volume.
How many science fiction books have been written about humans’ first contact with an alien species? Thousands, possibly tens of thousands, I’d guess. After all, there are so many different scenarios, so many different ways events could unfold. Imagination can scarcely encompass the huge number of possible forms the Visitors might take or what their motives might be. Perhaps even more of a question is how we, the human race, might respond.
Alien Baggage Allowance is one author’s rapid fire exploration of this huge space of possibilities. In mini-stories ranging from a few paragraphs to a few pages, James Helps presents a gallery of vignettes about what might happen “When they came”.
These bizarre tales are sometimes hilarious, sometimes satirical, often cringe-inducing. Though they’re very short, I could not read too many at one sitting, partially because some of them made me distinctly uncomfortable. This is clearly the author’s intention. As I proceeded to the end of the book, it became clear that these stories aren’t really about aliens, but rather, about us.
Actually, these stories would not be inappropriate for Halloween. Some of them inspire a sense of horror. Intentionally.
If you’re looking for laughs mixed with some intellectual and moral challenges, grab a copy of this quirky and original volume.
August 20, 2015
The 82 short stories in Alien Baggage Allowance are short, wild and inventive. Did I say short? A few are less than a page and they reminded me of Reginald Bretnor’s Ferdinand Feghoot stories, which were also short, funny science fiction stories, each with an unexpected twist at the end. These stories don’t have the convoluted Feghoot puns at the end, but there are surprises in most of them. Some bangs, some whimpers and the occasional “Whaaaa?”
Many (not all) of the stories begin with the words “WHEN THEY CAME..." All of them unfold different variations of the long-awaited, long-dreaded first encounter between alien visitors and humans. This was a fun read with the added attraction of the wildly imaginative--like Forest Gump’s notorious confections, the stories in Alien Baggage are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.
Particularly recommended to fans of First Contact and Alien Invasion fiction. Who knew that was a subgenre? I just found out recently.
FYI some of the adult content would have scandalized my elderly mother-in-law. There was nothing gory or explicit, possibly the odd four-letter word or Latin equivalent. Just a heads up in the improbable case that you are buying a book on Alien Invasion for an elderly, easily shocked old person. Unless said elderly person has a good sense of humor, in which case, no worries!
Many (not all) of the stories begin with the words “WHEN THEY CAME..." All of them unfold different variations of the long-awaited, long-dreaded first encounter between alien visitors and humans. This was a fun read with the added attraction of the wildly imaginative--like Forest Gump’s notorious confections, the stories in Alien Baggage are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.
Particularly recommended to fans of First Contact and Alien Invasion fiction. Who knew that was a subgenre? I just found out recently.
FYI some of the adult content would have scandalized my elderly mother-in-law. There was nothing gory or explicit, possibly the odd four-letter word or Latin equivalent. Just a heads up in the improbable case that you are buying a book on Alien Invasion for an elderly, easily shocked old person. Unless said elderly person has a good sense of humor, in which case, no worries!
May 19, 2017
Kindle Unlimited but actually caught in on the 19th on freebie day. Available at Restaurant at the End of the Universe {gift shop, VAT}, various Amazons, and other universal retailers near you.
82 tales in this book about alien visitations and maybe not alien visitations. In one, title "Who?" they have come to our planet to destroy us all, because we have were about to breach our Immortality Event Horizon. We wanted to know how, what, which, why, when, who. Actually did a LOL on this one {no spoilers}. "Overlords" was cute too, as were several others, really like this collection. In my {never} humble opinion, some of the writers are aliens, should be, could be, might be.*
*If y'all are ever near my home planet in the Draco Constellation give me a shout out {look for Thuban/Alpha Draconis, Theta Draconis, and Xi Draconis, it's a nice little planet there}
82 tales in this book about alien visitations and maybe not alien visitations. In one, title "Who?" they have come to our planet to destroy us all, because we have were about to breach our Immortality Event Horizon. We wanted to know how, what, which, why, when, who. Actually did a LOL on this one {no spoilers}. "Overlords" was cute too, as were several others, really like this collection. In my {never} humble opinion, some of the writers are aliens, should be, could be, might be.*
*If y'all are ever near my home planet in the Draco Constellation give me a shout out {look for Thuban/Alpha Draconis, Theta Draconis, and Xi Draconis, it's a nice little planet there}
August 16, 2017
Some of the stories were interesting, but many seemed pointless.
October 14, 2017
Amusing read!
Quick short stories mostly 1 or 2 pages. Some are funny. Some are sad. Some are disturbing. Some are thoughtful. Some are WTF weird. Enjoy!
Quick short stories mostly 1 or 2 pages. Some are funny. Some are sad. Some are disturbing. Some are thoughtful. Some are WTF weird. Enjoy!
January 17, 2019
Hilarious! An entertaining and enjoyable read for anyone wondering whether or not intelligent life is out there.
September 9, 2015
“Amusing, not funny”.
With these words, I am quoting “The End (in the Chord of Metha)”, the last story of Alien Baggage Allowance, where the book is criticized by aliens. They were not entirely right, because some stories are really funny, such as “The ‘W’ Word”, “Oh, the Humanity” and “Klingons”.
Humble Nations makes a series of jokes about aliens. Like in many jokes, there are clichés, stereotypes, curse words and not quite politically correct content. All stories are about the aliens’ first visit to Earth. Hence, most of them begin with “When they came”.
I found the stories of the two last thirds of the book better than the ones of the first third. Being an author of very short stories myself, I liked the open endings, the enigmas, what is not be told but left to the reader’s imagination.
It is also hilarious when the aliens (mis)interpret our species, like in “Profanity”, “Boobs” and “The Wish”.
As an eBook formatter, I found weird the use of straight apostrophes instead of curled ones, since most of the book has a nice formatting, with embedded fonts in the titles and curly quotes.
Alien Baggage Allowance shares elements with books depicting civilizational clash and encounters with another world, and some of its stories reminded me of Gulliver's Travels. Humble Nations assembles the whole tradition of alien fiction in our culture: the technologically advanced ones, the aliens as deus ex machina, the enemies, the human-like, the telepathic, the ones who can take the human form, etc. There is a great diversity of stories inside a book with a very good thematic unity, although maybe it could do without some of them. Anyway, it was an enjoyable reading, and I am glad I discovered this author, who is also a very talented cover designer.
With these words, I am quoting “The End (in the Chord of Metha)”, the last story of Alien Baggage Allowance, where the book is criticized by aliens. They were not entirely right, because some stories are really funny, such as “The ‘W’ Word”, “Oh, the Humanity” and “Klingons”.
Humble Nations makes a series of jokes about aliens. Like in many jokes, there are clichés, stereotypes, curse words and not quite politically correct content. All stories are about the aliens’ first visit to Earth. Hence, most of them begin with “When they came”.
I found the stories of the two last thirds of the book better than the ones of the first third. Being an author of very short stories myself, I liked the open endings, the enigmas, what is not be told but left to the reader’s imagination.
It is also hilarious when the aliens (mis)interpret our species, like in “Profanity”, “Boobs” and “The Wish”.
As an eBook formatter, I found weird the use of straight apostrophes instead of curled ones, since most of the book has a nice formatting, with embedded fonts in the titles and curly quotes.
Alien Baggage Allowance shares elements with books depicting civilizational clash and encounters with another world, and some of its stories reminded me of Gulliver's Travels. Humble Nations assembles the whole tradition of alien fiction in our culture: the technologically advanced ones, the aliens as deus ex machina, the enemies, the human-like, the telepathic, the ones who can take the human form, etc. There is a great diversity of stories inside a book with a very good thematic unity, although maybe it could do without some of them. Anyway, it was an enjoyable reading, and I am glad I discovered this author, who is also a very talented cover designer.
August 27, 2015
A collection of (often very) short stories, all sharing the same theme: what happens when aliens arrive on Earth. This isn't hard science fiction. It's a series of metaphors, of analogies, and while nearly all of them are funny some of them are more successful than others.
The ones I preferred were often the shortest - not so much because of length, but the longer stories were often a set-up for a joke, while the shorter ones were little glimpses of utter strangeness (like "Newton" and "Old Oak"), which is the sort of thing that really appeals to me.
The strongest part of this book was I think the very vivid images that would pop up from time to time - humans hand-swinging with giants, the intergalactic baseball team, the laying out of cadavers, the shower of millions of little yellow cubes - and this is my favourite, I have to quote it: "they came like an epileptic fit in a Skittles factory". I LOVE that last image, even if it did make me hungry. (The fascination with food is an ongoing theme...)
As for the weakest part... I think that might have to be the final story. Tempting as it is to take your readers by their scruff and say "Did you get it? You got it, didn't you?" sometimes it's best to rely on the fact that they do have some intelligence and can figure the occasional thing out for themselves. They're readers, after all, there must be some lights on inside their skulls. Calvino's been around for a while, all cities are Venice, they are us and so on.
But overall, a fun easy read. Not encyclopaedia-length either, which is something I always appreciate in my genre fiction. It made me laugh, and some of the images are lovely.
The ones I preferred were often the shortest - not so much because of length, but the longer stories were often a set-up for a joke, while the shorter ones were little glimpses of utter strangeness (like "Newton" and "Old Oak"), which is the sort of thing that really appeals to me.
The strongest part of this book was I think the very vivid images that would pop up from time to time - humans hand-swinging with giants, the intergalactic baseball team, the laying out of cadavers, the shower of millions of little yellow cubes - and this is my favourite, I have to quote it: "they came like an epileptic fit in a Skittles factory". I LOVE that last image, even if it did make me hungry. (The fascination with food is an ongoing theme...)
As for the weakest part... I think that might have to be the final story. Tempting as it is to take your readers by their scruff and say "Did you get it? You got it, didn't you?" sometimes it's best to rely on the fact that they do have some intelligence and can figure the occasional thing out for themselves. They're readers, after all, there must be some lights on inside their skulls. Calvino's been around for a while, all cities are Venice, they are us and so on.
But overall, a fun easy read. Not encyclopaedia-length either, which is something I always appreciate in my genre fiction. It made me laugh, and some of the images are lovely.
July 13, 2016
It was my first time reading this author and it was interesting read. It was out of my genre to what I usually go toward but all in all I didn’t mind it.
Alien Baggage Allowance is about Aliens and them coming to earth. Its funny, has its dark humour which had me laughing, and smiling at some of the jokes. The book poked at us, as humans and how aliens would(maybe) perceive us in the eyes of a whole other species.
Most of the chapters began with ‘When they arrived,’ and each chapter was a different encounter with an alien. Either the human’s perspective and sometimes the aliens. The book wasn’t annoying with every new chapter was a complete different scene. It was very entertaining. Some chapters were longer than others and I mean, they were short, like a couple of sentences short but that didn’t bug me.
I found some of the alien encounters funny. Especially the questions the aliens would ask the humans. They would be really silly, like about humpty dumpty or why don’t all the humans look a like. The aliens had a hard time understanding why we did, what we did. I found it funny how the aliens chased around the butterflies, I don’t know why I found that funny. I just did =)
There maybe some chapters that might come across as offensive but all in all, I enjoyed Alien Baggage Allowance.
Alien Baggage Allowance is about Aliens and them coming to earth. Its funny, has its dark humour which had me laughing, and smiling at some of the jokes. The book poked at us, as humans and how aliens would(maybe) perceive us in the eyes of a whole other species.
Most of the chapters began with ‘When they arrived,’ and each chapter was a different encounter with an alien. Either the human’s perspective and sometimes the aliens. The book wasn’t annoying with every new chapter was a complete different scene. It was very entertaining. Some chapters were longer than others and I mean, they were short, like a couple of sentences short but that didn’t bug me.
I found some of the alien encounters funny. Especially the questions the aliens would ask the humans. They would be really silly, like about humpty dumpty or why don’t all the humans look a like. The aliens had a hard time understanding why we did, what we did. I found it funny how the aliens chased around the butterflies, I don’t know why I found that funny. I just did =)
There maybe some chapters that might come across as offensive but all in all, I enjoyed Alien Baggage Allowance.
September 9, 2015
This is a book of very, very short stories (mostly) about first contact. Some of them are so short that they didn't really make an impression. Others are cheeky and fun. Maybe I just don't get the British humor, but I didn't seem to find this as funny as other reviewers. As the aliens say, it was only amusing to me.
The one story I really enjoyed was the one where everyone blames Google for the invasion, bc I could just see that happening so easily. Not blaming Google in particular, but everyone getting caught up in placing blame and ignoring that nothing happened worth blaming anyone for. That was a good and true commentary. Otherwise it was not quite as cutting as I'd have liked. Still a light, enjoyable read, but nothing that made me think or feel deeply.
The one story I really enjoyed was the one where everyone blames Google for the invasion, bc I could just see that happening so easily. Not blaming Google in particular, but everyone getting caught up in placing blame and ignoring that nothing happened worth blaming anyone for. That was a good and true commentary. Otherwise it was not quite as cutting as I'd have liked. Still a light, enjoyable read, but nothing that made me think or feel deeply.
Read
July 24, 2016I really like the author's wit. He's very clever with ideas and wordplay but this book just wasn't for me. I appreciate all the related short stories but overall it was too silly for me. Not my bag, baby.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews