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What They Don't Tell You About Bipolar Disorder
My name is Dennis and I am a 35 year old High-Functioning Autistic man with Type 2 Bipolar Disorder. I started Bipolar cycling at about 14. At 15, I had my first of seven suicide attempts. The combination of social and emotional isolation of Autism and a severe Depressive cycle caused me to put a loaded gun to my head and pull the trigger on a dud round. I told no one until I was 29 when I finally realized I needed psychological help.
I spent 15 years undiagnosed with Type 2 Bipolar Disorder. I spent about 80% of my teenage through adult life in mild to suicidal depression, 15% hypomanic, and 5% other. Today? I still have my problems, but I'm finally able to love myself. I have a large degree of control over the Disorder because I've suffered and worked hard to achieve it.
In that 15 years, I had been hopeless, pointless, suicidal, homicidal, violent, homeless, a drug and alcohol abuser, and so much more. No one in my immediate family was mentally ill, so no one really understood what was going on in my mind.
What I did not realize until I was 30 is that I am a High-Functioning Autistic as well. Autism, like Bipolar Disorder, manifests in people in different ways. In my case, it broke all of the natural social and emotional processes normal people have. It also broke my ability to verbalize my emotions when I feel vulnerable. It's like trying to pull words out of a blank dictionary. So frustrating.
Because I was unable to communicate my difficulties with other people, I developed a very negative point of view of myself. I thought I was irresponsible, immature, and an awful person because I was doing awful things for insane reasons. I was under the delusional impression that everyone had similar problems, they just handled them better than I did.
Diagnosis was the greatest day of my life. It was the day I realized I had a mental illness that could be controlled. I had reached the end, in my mind. I would either get well or kill myself. I could not continue to live how I was. I was diagnosed at 29 and began educating myself about my problems. At 32, I launched my website and began my own advocacy work because I disliked the way Bipolar Disorder is represented.
I, like many people, turned to the internet for information. I found a lot of soft garbage, rehashing of the DSM, and people trying to make themselves feel better about their situation. That's all well and good, but it wasn't useful. I launched my body of work with the intent to enable people to make better decisions for pursuing wellness and understand their loved ones. No BS, no fluff, no garbage.
The title What They Don't Tell You About Bipolar Disorder is literal. It explores the circumstances surrounding many facets of wellness, navigating mental health systems, understanding how unwell cycles warp perception, how to handle these things, finding resources to get well, stigma-based beliefs, and much more.
My goal is to enable others to make better decisions for themselves, whether they are mentally ill, a loved one, or a professional looking to understand our challenges better.
I am not a doctor, counselor, or lawyer. I do not comment on what a person should do about medication, the quality of, or make recommendations. No aspect of my body of work or advocacy should be taken as medical or legal advice. All decisions made should be done with an appropriate, knowledgeable professional who is familiar with our personal situation.
Mental illness is a very personal experience. A reader may not be able to identify with anything I say in this book. That's fine. I've read plenty of things I could not identify with. Never stop the pursuit of knowledge in dealing with Bipolar Disorder. Our personal knowledge is the only way to find wellness because wellness is about 5% mental health establishment, 95% personal work.
I spent 15 years undiagnosed with Type 2 Bipolar Disorder. I spent about 80% of my teenage through adult life in mild to suicidal depression, 15% hypomanic, and 5% other. Today? I still have my problems, but I'm finally able to love myself. I have a large degree of control over the Disorder because I've suffered and worked hard to achieve it.
In that 15 years, I had been hopeless, pointless, suicidal, homicidal, violent, homeless, a drug and alcohol abuser, and so much more. No one in my immediate family was mentally ill, so no one really understood what was going on in my mind.
What I did not realize until I was 30 is that I am a High-Functioning Autistic as well. Autism, like Bipolar Disorder, manifests in people in different ways. In my case, it broke all of the natural social and emotional processes normal people have. It also broke my ability to verbalize my emotions when I feel vulnerable. It's like trying to pull words out of a blank dictionary. So frustrating.
Because I was unable to communicate my difficulties with other people, I developed a very negative point of view of myself. I thought I was irresponsible, immature, and an awful person because I was doing awful things for insane reasons. I was under the delusional impression that everyone had similar problems, they just handled them better than I did.
Diagnosis was the greatest day of my life. It was the day I realized I had a mental illness that could be controlled. I had reached the end, in my mind. I would either get well or kill myself. I could not continue to live how I was. I was diagnosed at 29 and began educating myself about my problems. At 32, I launched my website and began my own advocacy work because I disliked the way Bipolar Disorder is represented.
I, like many people, turned to the internet for information. I found a lot of soft garbage, rehashing of the DSM, and people trying to make themselves feel better about their situation. That's all well and good, but it wasn't useful. I launched my body of work with the intent to enable people to make better decisions for pursuing wellness and understand their loved ones. No BS, no fluff, no garbage.
The title What They Don't Tell You About Bipolar Disorder is literal. It explores the circumstances surrounding many facets of wellness, navigating mental health systems, understanding how unwell cycles warp perception, how to handle these things, finding resources to get well, stigma-based beliefs, and much more.
My goal is to enable others to make better decisions for themselves, whether they are mentally ill, a loved one, or a professional looking to understand our challenges better.
I am not a doctor, counselor, or lawyer. I do not comment on what a person should do about medication, the quality of, or make recommendations. No aspect of my body of work or advocacy should be taken as medical or legal advice. All decisions made should be done with an appropriate, knowledgeable professional who is familiar with our personal situation.
Mental illness is a very personal experience. A reader may not be able to identify with anything I say in this book. That's fine. I've read plenty of things I could not identify with. Never stop the pursuit of knowledge in dealing with Bipolar Disorder. Our personal knowledge is the only way to find wellness because wellness is about 5% mental health establishment, 95% personal work.
188 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 14, 2015
137 people are currently reading
34 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
March 25, 2019
Brilliant simple honest and informative
Denis, you did it! What an excellent informative guide from someone who really does know it. I spoke with you many years ago on bipolarmanafesto when you were speaking about publishing and you helped me a lot, even when I'm a BP old timer! You are so on it. I was looking for really good informative read that would guide me a little when I think after 25 years I have become complacent with my diagnosis..you covered that topic perfectly. Excellent book.
Denis, you did it! What an excellent informative guide from someone who really does know it. I spoke with you many years ago on bipolarmanafesto when you were speaking about publishing and you helped me a lot, even when I'm a BP old timer! You are so on it. I was looking for really good informative read that would guide me a little when I think after 25 years I have become complacent with my diagnosis..you covered that topic perfectly. Excellent book.
March 30, 2023
Understanding Bioolar
I highly recommend this book written from first hand experience by David Heil who undiagnosed on the autism spectrum for to hurty years and Bipolar for fifteen years. It's helping me understand my severe depression component and why I've done what I have when escalated to a hypomanic mood swings that resulted in risky behavior, sleeplessness, alcohol and drug use throughout my life while appearing to be normal. My great nephew has sever bipolar with highly suicidal and negative thoughts. I hope he is able to understand himself better and get the help he needs.
I highly recommend this book written from first hand experience by David Heil who undiagnosed on the autism spectrum for to hurty years and Bipolar for fifteen years. It's helping me understand my severe depression component and why I've done what I have when escalated to a hypomanic mood swings that resulted in risky behavior, sleeplessness, alcohol and drug use throughout my life while appearing to be normal. My great nephew has sever bipolar with highly suicidal and negative thoughts. I hope he is able to understand himself better and get the help he needs.
February 7, 2023
Found this book to be very helpful.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 2 at the age of 55. Denning Heil is quite forthcoming in this book and I find it to be helpful in my own mental illness journey. He gives a bit of a different perspective from the norm. I highly recommend this book to anyone who struggles with bipolar disorder 2. I also believe it would help others who are not mentally ill understand what those of us deal with as a mentally ill person.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 2 at the age of 55. Denning Heil is quite forthcoming in this book and I find it to be helpful in my own mental illness journey. He gives a bit of a different perspective from the norm. I highly recommend this book to anyone who struggles with bipolar disorder 2. I also believe it would help others who are not mentally ill understand what those of us deal with as a mentally ill person.
July 17, 2020
Easy down to earth plain and simple read
The best in your face book on what we don’t get told about by professional. Someone finally worded what we were feeling. Someone who sounded like me in the bad times and good times and through life. Nice to know we are not alone.
The best in your face book on what we don’t get told about by professional. Someone finally worded what we were feeling. Someone who sounded like me in the bad times and good times and through life. Nice to know we are not alone.
January 24, 2019
Great book!!!
So insightful! I needed to read this for hope, hope that my situation will get better, hope that I will find a medication that will work for me!
So insightful! I needed to read this for hope, hope that my situation will get better, hope that I will find a medication that will work for me!
December 18, 2015
Angry read
If this man would stop cursing through the book, I could glean good points that he is trying to explain. Each time I read this I have to put the book down because it puts me in a bad mood. He sounds like a very angry person.
If this man would stop cursing through the book, I could glean good points that he is trying to explain. Each time I read this I have to put the book down because it puts me in a bad mood. He sounds like a very angry person.
October 21, 2016
An interesting handbook on bipolar
The candidate writing of the author about the bipolar challenges is very interesting. Discussing issues from a bipolar person's perspective gives a whole new dimension into the topic
The candidate writing of the author about the bipolar challenges is very interesting. Discussing issues from a bipolar person's perspective gives a whole new dimension into the topic
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews