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Real Service
In any consenting and negotiated personal service relationship, there are hundreds of ways in which the servant can make the master’s life easier, and the master can manage the servant most effectively. Why is it that we usually only hear about a few of these ways, mostly sexual service, kinky play, and BDSM, or perhaps leather care or formal tea service? From housework to driving to child care to personal care, nearly anyone who is in service (or who would like to be) has dozens of skills they already know that they can offer as a service, and there are countless more practical everyday skills they can learn. Real Service is a handbook for service-oriented submissives and the people they serve, providing techniques to help a service relationship function smoothly, and suggestions for service that can be offered.
126 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 23, 2011
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460 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
May 31, 2023
Πρόκειται για ένα ειδικό ανάγνωσμα από ένα συγγραφέα που εκτιμώ ιδιαίτερα και ιδίως σαν άνθρωπο. Για τη φάση του, γι' αυτά που έχει ζήσει, για το πώς τα έχει φιλοσοφήσει και το πώς δομεί το λόγο του, με τρόπο που σε πείθει και σε ενθουσιάζει ότι δεν είναι κάποιος που απλά γράφει για κάτι που δε γνωρίζει.
Οι ασύμμετρες σχέσεις ειναι ένα πολύ ειδικό θέμα και πολύ περισσότερο το M/s. Ιδίως αν το αποδεσμευσουμε από το λογοτεχνικό μύθο που του έχουν δημιουργήσει. Αφορά πραγματικούς ανθρώπους και τον τρόπο που έχουν αποφασίσει να ζήσουν τη ζωή τους.
Αυτό είναι ένα βιβλίο για να σε κάνει να αναλογιστείς αν είσαι εκεί, αν θες να είσαι εκεί και να σε διαβεβαιώσει πως αν παριστάνεις κάτι που δεν είσαι, όταν έρθει ο πανικός - και πάντα έρχεται με τον ενα ή τον άλλο τρόπο, θα στραφείς προς τα μέσα, εκεί που είναι το αληθινό, που αποφάσισες να κρύψεις.
Δεν είναι για τον επίδοξο και αυτόν που νομίζει. Και από μια άποψη επειδή δίνει ιδέες και παραδείγματα τρέμω στην ιδέα του ποιοι και πώς θα μπορούσαν να το χρησιμοποιήσουν, για να βρουν κάποιο άτομο που δεν ξέρει και πολλά και θέλει να ζήσει μια λογοτεχνική φαντασίωση. Κι ίσως γι' αυτό το καμαρώνω και το κατανοώ που δεν έχει περιττά στολίδια.
Είναι ένα βιβλίο που αφορά πραγματικούς ανθρώπους που ζουν αυτό που είναι, επειδή όντως είναι. Σε όποιο επίπεδο κι αν βρίσκονται. Προσφέρει συζήτηση, προσφέρει κουράγιο, ιδέες. Δεν προσφέρει δικαιολογίες. Ούτε φαντασιώσεις.
Οι ασύμμετρες σχέσεις ειναι ένα πολύ ειδικό θέμα και πολύ περισσότερο το M/s. Ιδίως αν το αποδεσμευσουμε από το λογοτεχνικό μύθο που του έχουν δημιουργήσει. Αφορά πραγματικούς ανθρώπους και τον τρόπο που έχουν αποφασίσει να ζήσουν τη ζωή τους.
Αυτό είναι ένα βιβλίο για να σε κάνει να αναλογιστείς αν είσαι εκεί, αν θες να είσαι εκεί και να σε διαβεβαιώσει πως αν παριστάνεις κάτι που δεν είσαι, όταν έρθει ο πανικός - και πάντα έρχεται με τον ενα ή τον άλλο τρόπο, θα στραφείς προς τα μέσα, εκεί που είναι το αληθινό, που αποφάσισες να κρύψεις.
Δεν είναι για τον επίδοξο και αυτόν που νομίζει. Και από μια άποψη επειδή δίνει ιδέες και παραδείγματα τρέμω στην ιδέα του ποιοι και πώς θα μπορούσαν να το χρησιμοποιήσουν, για να βρουν κάποιο άτομο που δεν ξέρει και πολλά και θέλει να ζήσει μια λογοτεχνική φαντασίωση. Κι ίσως γι' αυτό το καμαρώνω και το κατανοώ που δεν έχει περιττά στολίδια.
Είναι ένα βιβλίο που αφορά πραγματικούς ανθρώπους που ζουν αυτό που είναι, επειδή όντως είναι. Σε όποιο επίπεδο κι αν βρίσκονται. Προσφέρει συζήτηση, προσφέρει κουράγιο, ιδέες. Δεν προσφέρει δικαιολογίες. Ούτε φαντασιώσεις.
January 4, 2012
I ordered this book as a Yule gift for my partner, but I found lots of food for thought in reading it myself, before I wrapped it. (I'm sorry, V)
I would highly recommend this book for anyone who is (or would like to) explore a service-oriented relationship. And that being said, as a service-oriented person myself, I found this book a thoughtfully well-written resource towards that goal. While this is not really a 'how-to' book, Joshua's prose is engaging and direct, and he breaks down the many facets of service in the context of M/s relationship, without being dry or preachy.
I was especially appreciative of the lists of everyday possibilities that can be used as jumping-off points to begin the discussion and/or creation of a service dynamic.
Real Service is an enjoyable, extremely accessible read for anyone involved in any level of M/s relationship. No matter which side of the slash that you're on, Joshua conveys the honor and joy that can be found for those on either side of the service dynamic.
I would highly recommend this book for anyone who is (or would like to) explore a service-oriented relationship. And that being said, as a service-oriented person myself, I found this book a thoughtfully well-written resource towards that goal. While this is not really a 'how-to' book, Joshua's prose is engaging and direct, and he breaks down the many facets of service in the context of M/s relationship, without being dry or preachy.
I was especially appreciative of the lists of everyday possibilities that can be used as jumping-off points to begin the discussion and/or creation of a service dynamic.
Real Service is an enjoyable, extremely accessible read for anyone involved in any level of M/s relationship. No matter which side of the slash that you're on, Joshua conveys the honor and joy that can be found for those on either side of the service dynamic.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 14, 2018
This book is a fantastic resource for anyone considering this type of lifestyle. I found the advice given within practical and expansive. Raven & Joshua thoroughly delve into the practical issues confronted with living a 24/7 M/s relationship and provide excellent advice and suggestions. The book was very well written with language that was entertaining but still accessible. I would highly recommend this book for any kink library.
December 22, 2018
This book is an informative read that is easy to digest. It gives great advice, insights, and ideas for M-types and s-types in the practical application of service for a 24/7 arrangement.
I enjoyed this book and will highly recommend it to anyone who is interested in a 24/7 service-oriented dynamic.
I enjoyed this book and will highly recommend it to anyone who is interested in a 24/7 service-oriented dynamic.
March 28, 2013
This slender volume on service dynamics in BDSM relationships is really a delight. How can you not love a book with a chapter entitled "Service Porn and the Butler Fetish"?
Many people come to D/s with fantasies about service -- but find that the person they want to serve may not value the particular kinds of service they've been fantasizing about for years. I love Josh's "First Rule of Service" -- "It's not service unless the master wants it."
I've bought and given several copies of this book as gifts and recommend it very highly both as an entertaining read and for its high utility.
Many people come to D/s with fantasies about service -- but find that the person they want to serve may not value the particular kinds of service they've been fantasizing about for years. I love Josh's "First Rule of Service" -- "It's not service unless the master wants it."
I've bought and given several copies of this book as gifts and recommend it very highly both as an entertaining read and for its high utility.
February 21, 2024
Short and sweet, a good and comprehensive view on service submission, its motivations, expressions, and facets.
It is great to see how much nuance there is to the topic, and how easy it is to pull from the many options described here, to assemble a very individual flavor of service.
No matter your type of relationships, if there's a power dynamic to them, and if you'd like any flavor of service to be part of that equation, this is a good book to read, and reference to keep going back to later.
It is great to see how much nuance there is to the topic, and how easy it is to pull from the many options described here, to assemble a very individual flavor of service.
No matter your type of relationships, if there's a power dynamic to them, and if you'd like any flavor of service to be part of that equation, this is a good book to read, and reference to keep going back to later.
September 10, 2022
This book was an amazing perspective of service submission. I’ve been in the kink community for 20 years and it has renewed the way I look at my personal dynamics with my submissives. As a Dominant, I often felt I was missing something from what I was getting out of a power exchange dynamic with my submissive. This book talks a lot about the balance in a dynamic and how to keep that balance.
June 14, 2023
I stumbled on this strictly by chance. I've been reading more BDSM type stories lately and one detailed a dynamic I was a bit unfamiliar with. After some googling I found this book and am so glad I did.
First, I'd like to express that I am not in the BDSM community. So I’m reading this a complete layman. I know little about it except for my reading tastes as of late. This book is a nonfiction narrative of a specific type of submission. Service submission.
It is told from the point of view of both the service sub and the service sub’s dominant. I loved that there were both perspectives. Not only did the couple define what service submission is, and how it can work in a m/s, d/s relationship, but they provided clear lists and examples to further define the parameters of this type of relationship. It was very clear through the writing that this couple is deeply committed to not only each other and their lifestyle, but to educating others about it.
It was utterly fascinating, and I have plans to buy more books from these authors.
First, I'd like to express that I am not in the BDSM community. So I’m reading this a complete layman. I know little about it except for my reading tastes as of late. This book is a nonfiction narrative of a specific type of submission. Service submission.
It is told from the point of view of both the service sub and the service sub’s dominant. I loved that there were both perspectives. Not only did the couple define what service submission is, and how it can work in a m/s, d/s relationship, but they provided clear lists and examples to further define the parameters of this type of relationship. It was very clear through the writing that this couple is deeply committed to not only each other and their lifestyle, but to educating others about it.
It was utterly fascinating, and I have plans to buy more books from these authors.
October 3, 2020
I do not recommend this book for beginners in BDSM.
After I read this book, many concepts feel like pure service. Emphasize on "service" not BDSM.
There are many useful concepts you can read in this book about "service-oriented submissives." The content of the book is acceptable, but the tone of voice is very annoying for me. The concept of "service" is idealized in this book.
If you have psychological disorders as I do, you will get offended. If you are a brat like me, you will get offended. In the book, is one of the misdemeanours, and serious talks are needed... OMG. Plus, I hate the book tells me what "Real" Service is. That is a very arrogant way of saying things, to say the least.
If you are a beginner in BDSM, do not read this book just yet; maybe wait a few years after you decide to be a service-orientated role read this book.
After I read this book, many concepts feel like pure service. Emphasize on "service" not BDSM.
There are many useful concepts you can read in this book about "service-oriented submissives." The content of the book is acceptable, but the tone of voice is very annoying for me. The concept of "service" is idealized in this book.
If you have psychological disorders as I do, you will get offended. If you are a brat like me, you will get offended. In the book, is one of the misdemeanours, and serious talks are needed... OMG. Plus, I hate the book tells me what "Real" Service is. That is a very arrogant way of saying things, to say the least.
If you are a beginner in BDSM, do not read this book just yet; maybe wait a few years after you decide to be a service-orientated role read this book.
March 21, 2025
I found it mildly interesting.
Inegalitarian relationships have never been a field of interest for me, but while I’m on my kinky lit phase of my “Year of Non-Fiction”, might as well see what this is all about. I stayed open throughout the book. It is very informative and stays mostly on topic (the chapter with organisational tips was a surprise) and includes diverse approaches and reasonable advice. Does not touch on topics of sexuality or kinky play, but then again, the book is called “Real Service” for a reason. Relationships of this kind are really on the outskirts of kink, and don’t qualify as play.
While it didn’t change my attitude of personal disinterest, I know more now, and that’s all non-fiction can hope to give us.
Inegalitarian relationships have never been a field of interest for me, but while I’m on my kinky lit phase of my “Year of Non-Fiction”, might as well see what this is all about. I stayed open throughout the book. It is very informative and stays mostly on topic (the chapter with organisational tips was a surprise) and includes diverse approaches and reasonable advice. Does not touch on topics of sexuality or kinky play, but then again, the book is called “Real Service” for a reason. Relationships of this kind are really on the outskirts of kink, and don’t qualify as play.
While it didn’t change my attitude of personal disinterest, I know more now, and that’s all non-fiction can hope to give us.
November 21, 2024
A book about service, that provides service
Well I am no longer New to the community, I know there is still a great many things I need to learn. Having entered into a dynamic with a dominant partner that seems to be evolving into one of Master/servant. Reading this book actually helped me communicate with my Master more to establish a dynamic that nurtured both of us, as well as helped me understand myself and my draw to naturally being of service. Knowing my Master gas read this as well, its been good for our communication. Recommend this book.
Well I am no longer New to the community, I know there is still a great many things I need to learn. Having entered into a dynamic with a dominant partner that seems to be evolving into one of Master/servant. Reading this book actually helped me communicate with my Master more to establish a dynamic that nurtured both of us, as well as helped me understand myself and my draw to naturally being of service. Knowing my Master gas read this as well, its been good for our communication. Recommend this book.
April 24, 2024
great primer on delivering service
Great primer: easy reading, covers a lot of M/s topics focused primarily around the s-type rendering useful service to their d-type. I would say should be on all the shelves of s-types hoping to be in a dynamic or currently in dynamics.
They really give a good understanding of what a good s-type does, types of services, what a good D-type does and what to look for. Also talks about common pitfalls in service and dynamics.
I enjoyed it
Great primer: easy reading, covers a lot of M/s topics focused primarily around the s-type rendering useful service to their d-type. I would say should be on all the shelves of s-types hoping to be in a dynamic or currently in dynamics.
They really give a good understanding of what a good s-type does, types of services, what a good D-type does and what to look for. Also talks about common pitfalls in service and dynamics.
I enjoyed it
January 22, 2018
I am going to read it again. I struggle with owning the role of submissive, even though I keep getting drawn to it. This book brought up a lot of feelings and I need to go over it again to figure out why it’s so confrontative to me. I will say it’s a good book if you are comfortable with the roles.
August 20, 2019
essential resource on service
This book packs a ton of useful information in. It is extremely well written - very accessible and very inclusive. It deals with everyday service and the service mindset in a thoughtful yet practical manner, I would highly recommend it,
This book packs a ton of useful information in. It is extremely well written - very accessible and very inclusive. It deals with everyday service and the service mindset in a thoughtful yet practical manner, I would highly recommend it,
April 17, 2023
A clear cut manual to help define and clarify what a service relationship is and is not. Made mistakes I have made in the past clearer and hopefully will help define service relationships in my future.
November 12, 2024
Fascinating and informative book on PE-M/s service. Written in a charmingly conversational tone, it covers everything from the basics of what a M/s (or D/s) relationship is, to what constitutes real service, to what can reasonably be expected of a servant from the newbie to a expert.
July 27, 2017
Wonderful lists and ideas
This was a great resource for giving lists of things that are basic, remedial and advanced. As well as expectations from both sides of the slash.
This was a great resource for giving lists of things that are basic, remedial and advanced. As well as expectations from both sides of the slash.
Read
November 13, 2020Good.
January 8, 2024
Read to better understand a friend. Helped a little.
November 30, 2024
mhm idk mixed feelings about this one
Read
November 21, 2025hmmmmmmm much to think about
November 20, 2014
A truly excellent book. This book surprised me and it was insightful and full of psychology, advice, and contrasting perspectives on topics. I recommend this book to anyone thinking about being or taking on a service oriented companion.
Mr Joe.
Mr Joe.
September 11, 2011
This book, as with most of Raven and Joshua's books gave this slave a lot to think about. Will probably update this in a few days when I have something to write and think about it more.
September 13, 2023
A much-needed read for me.
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews