Deal: My Three Decades of Drumming, Dreams, and Drugs with the Grateful Dead

by Bill Kreutzmann, Benjy Eisen

The Grateful Dead are perhaps the most legendary American rock band of all time. For thirty years, beginning in the hippie scene of San Francisco in 1965, they were a musical institution, the original jam band that broke new ground in so many ways. From the music to their live concert sound systems and fan recordings, they were forward-thinking champions of artistic control and outlaw artists who marched to the beat of their own drums.

In Deal , Bill Kreutzmann, one of their founding members and drummer for every one of their over 2,300 concerts has written an unflinching and wild account of playing in the greatest improvisational band of all time. Everything a rock music fan would expect is here, but what sets this apart is Bill's incredible life of adventure that was at the heart of the Grateful Dead experience. This was a band that knew no limits and Bill lived life to the fullest, pushing the boundaries of drugs, drums and high times, through devastating tragedy and remarkable triumph.

But at this book's beating heart is the music--theirs and others. Some of the greatest musicians and concerts were a part of the Grateful Dead's career, from sharing the stage with Janis Joplin, Bob Dylan, and The Who, to playing in the Acid Tests, The Monterey Pop Festival, Woodstock and Altamont. Bill's life is a chronicle of American music and pop culture history and his epic personal journey is one of sonic discovery and thrilling experiences.

Genres: Music, Biography, Nonfiction, Memoir, History, Autobiography, Drugs

416 pages, Paperback

First published May 5, 2015

About the author

BILL KREUTZMANN co-founded the Grateful Dead in 1965 with his musical cohorts Jerry Garcia, Bob Weir, Ron "Pigpen" McKernan, and Phil Lesh. As the drummer in that band for all 30 years until they disbanded in 1995, he performed more than 2,300 concerts and played on every one of their albums. He continues to play music in various bands including Billy and the Kids. He lives on an organic farm in Hawaii.

Reviews

[Todd Strasser · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disappointed, but still hopeful. I want very much to like this book, but so far it's just a rehash of stuff most deadheads already know. The Dead took a lot of acid? They hung out with Kesey and were the house band for the acid tests? Owsley financed them? Duh. I wish Kreutzmann had realized that this information is nothing new and had focused instead on the interpersonal relationships among the band members, how they wrote songs, or chose and arranged the covers they played. Kreutzmann feels bad that Pigpen was the only one in the group who didn't routinely trip, but it would have been interesting to know what he thought the reason for this was, or how it affected Pigpen's life with the band. What was Pigpen doing while the others tripped? What were the bands' rehearsals like? Did everyone always want to rehearse? Was there ever a time when someone was too effed up to play? Was there no tension in the band? Who made the musical decisions? Was there ever a time when it was someone other than Jerry? In addition, it would be great to know what Kreutzmann thought of people like Kesey, Cassady and the "alternative" lives they were leading. He seems to forget that most people his age were going to war or college and then getting jobs. What did it feel like not to do that? Anyway, like I said, I'm still hopeful that he'll get into some depth in this book instead of just reciting a boring itinerary of where he went, who was there, and how much acid they dropped.

[Marcia Kreutzmann · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is my brother so it is not easy to write this down, but had he let a best-that-money-could-buy-editor work with him, this would have been a super great book. His stories are wonderful, but it has a disjointed feel, no real chronology to it. A collection of interesting stories. Benjy Einsen of Rolling Stone magazine is listed as co-author. Their target audience was the fans of the Grateful Dead, known as Deadheads. The target audience should have been anyone and everyone with an interest in history, specifically music and cultural history, because that is Billy's TRUE story. He is part and parcel of the American culture of the 1960s.
That being said, I did learn many details about events that were withheld from the family lore.
I never knew he was busted for the pot garden, or that Susila, his pregnant wife, had to spend time in jail for possession of marijuana.
I am glad he wrote it, the deadheads have taken it apart and boiled it down to the main essentials, and it is done.
200 years from now, people will read, maybe even admire and gawk at the insanity of Americans in this period.

[David Given Schwarm · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love the Grateful Dead. I love them for the same reason Billy loves them--they are experimental risk takers who never stopped seeking to find the kind heart within every moment. I did not love this book because it is clearly written by a ghost writer who brought a format to the proceeding which just does not really work.

we do the year by year break down of the big moments of the band--mostly stories & events we all know--the time at Woodstock, the Time in Europe, the time in fill in the blank--I love these times, but the format does not allow us to get into the mind of Billy--he seems to be forcing the 'here is something you don't know' or 'here is a *wild* rock star story" or whatever.

I want a book that explains how the metronome of the worlds greatest band TICKS!

I want the childhood, I want the divorce, I want the school stories, I want to know what books he was reading & what he was listening to--honestly a Billy's top ten book list would have provided me more joy than this.

the Recovery stories are brutal & misleading. The mom's suicide story is likely the highlight of the book & feel VERY rushed -- and fueled by anger at the Recovery process--which I think could really use more exploration & discussion. Particularly in light of his own daughter writing him out of his life...I mean this could have been a much more interesting collection of journal writings on just those TWO topics rather then a collection of juvenile car race silly stories & inventories of all the bands he was in since the Dead.

the 'this is a love letter to my wife, Amy' feels so emotionally dishonest after his fifth wife! I mean really? How are we supposed to trust a Merry Prankster with a track record like this.

I am glad that I read this book, but it is very frustrating for its lack of analysis and tight structure.

[Cody · Rating 4 out of 5]

Outside Garcia, I’ve always felt the greatest affinity for Bill. He’s always seemed a pretty normal dude, and this travelogue of fucking, dope, and improvisational rock and roll confirms it. Worth it to read his thoughts on Welnick; Donna; TC; Mickey; and some others. The Hart shit is pretty goddamned funny (and I agree with him). As for Phil: I’m guessing no Xmas cards are flowing either direction. Stupid fun w one of my favorite drummers ever, who dug Magma!, and is far better mechanically than most realize. Hard to make that shit swing, but Billy (the) did.

[Duffy Pratt · Rating 3 out of 5]

The websites and catalogs note that "Drums" was the most played "song" in the band's repertoire. I have to admit, it was never a favorite of mine. It was, for me, more of a prelude to "Space," which was often the high point. And I didn't have particularly high expectations for this book. So I was pleasantly surprised.

In general, I am not a big fan of drummers, and especially not of the drummers other people think of as virtuosos. I have little use for the Neal Pearts, the Keith Moons, or the Ginger Bakers (or the Buddy Rich's) for that matter. I prefer a more restrained approach, as with Ringo, or Levon Helm, or Jim Keltner.

So, for the most part, I either haven't paid much attention to Bill and Mickey. And when I have, its typically because their approach has tended to homogenize a bunch of the the band's stuff. There was a time when almost everything took on a slightly reggae/cajun feel, and I think that was mostly the doing of the drummers. But, I have to admit, there are other times when the drumming is astonishingly good. And it tends to be in the jams, the free sections, the exploratory parts of The Other One, or Dark Star, etc...

The first thing that impresses me about this book is how strongly Kreutzmann's commitment to the music comes through. He subtitles the book with "drumming, dreams, and drugs". I would say that the topics of importance in the book are not exactly these, but rather, in order, "music, drugs, and pranks." But always the music comes first. The same thing rang true in Lesh's book, but he seemed to think of the music as a vehicle for the "group mind," as a way to find something greater. Kreutzmann, on the contrary, gives the impression that there is nothing greater. The reason the group mind is important, for Kreutzmann is because it makes better music, not the other way around. It was also refreshing to hear his opinions about the musical abilities of other players (mostly keyboard players for some reason - there is hardly a word about Phil or Bobby's playing here).

As for drugs, Kreutzmann is brutally honest. Drugs made the band, and broke it. Pot and acid are good. Cocaine, prescription drugs, and heroin - not so much. It's clear that he probably did more drugs himself than all the people I have ever known, combined. And he is now remarkably clear-headed about things. But, there is also a repeated theme of him not remembering stuff, and its pretty clear that he doesn't remember large chunks of his life because he was simply too drugged out at the time. At no time in the book, did I get the feeling that he was either glorifying drugs, or telling the cliche tale of regret. Rather, he was simply being candid.

The tales of the pranks are fun. I suppose lots of them appear elsewhere. But even if I had heard some of the stories before, it was fun to get his take on them. And lots of them are new, and they were almost always enjoyable. Kreutzmann's voice comes through, and it sounds like he is casually telling stories, which suits a memoir of this sort quite well.

What's missing, for me, is anything particularly deep about the relationships between the band members. He discusses his relationship with Jerry at some length. And he describes how Mickey was first something of a mentor to him. And there's a fair bit about Pigpen. But he lived with Phil and Bob for years, and I get almost no impression at all about how they interact. And there's also almost nothing about his interactions with Keith, Donna, Brent, Vince, etc... I got a clearer impression of his relationship with John Belushi than I did of his relationship with Bobby, for example. Perhaps this is because his relationship with Bobby is ongoing, and he wants to be a little careful there. But it does come across as a bit of a whole in an otherwise candid memoir.

Some people have complained that this book is a bit scattered, and jumps all over the place. Others have complained that he is going over old material. But, that's what the Dead did. They played the same stuff again and again, and they did it in ways that were scattered at times, and seemed to jump around. But, when it worked it was magic. I wouldn't go that far with this book, but when it works, it is very good, and well worth reading.

[Mark]

I might have more to say about this book in a month or so, suffice to say having read it, I am happy I did. I am glad learning that Bill took about as much pleasure in Mickey Hart returning to the band as I did, which is to say, not a whole lot! Mickey came to the band and hypnotized Bill- once. I am not unsure if he didn't hypnotize his way into coming back, either! but just the same. I always felt that Kreutzmann was the best drummer in rock and roll, hands down. Say what you like about Ringo- (having to play with the greatest songwriters of the 20th C; at that!) Ringo and the Beatles were never JAMMERS. In fact I've often felt, they couldn't jam their way out of a paper bag! But the Dead were the most virtuosic of the 1960's rock and roll bands, the jam band par excellence, and for them Kreutzmann was their backbone. Ringo, in comparison, is downright sloppy, Kreutzmann was always snappy and THERE. Whatever. When Mickey Hart rejoined them... well, all anyone need do is watch the "return" of Mickey in the Grateful Dead Movie, ("Johnny B. Goode") and you see by the result it is obvious- Kreutzmann is back there keeping time, while Hart thuds away Philistine-fashion in a manner completely unsuited to the musical structure of the song. And then, they went on like this, for twenty-one years more- "like a popcorn machine going off behind us" as Garcia put it, and the music became more and more leaden and earthbound in result. While it was just Bill behind them, their music had breath, air, and could approximate a levitational ambiguity. You never knew where it was headed, and there was complete unpredicatability in it. So yes, call me a partisan, a factionalist, what have you, I care not a whit, but in my critical mind, Kreutzmann is the better of the two & I think you need have been hypnotized yourself, perhaps, in thinking of the "Rhythm Devils" as an "inseparable duo." But Bill was outvoted, he claims, in the matter of Hart's return... But here, I said I would not have much to say, and I'll keep it at that. Always great to read someone who was there tell things like they saw it.

[Tiffany Mercer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was just absolutely insane and so interesting. It was such a great story and I loved the section about Egypt at the most. The only tough part was that he is so all over the place with his storytelling it literally the entire book is (even in his own words words) back-and-forth between time periods. Luckily that doesn’t detract from the storytelling at all and each story is as equally crazy or crazier as the last. What an incredibly amazing life story!! You don’t have to like the Dead to enjoy it!

[George Bradford · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is not the definitive history. But it is a fascinating account. And it is honestly told by a man who was only in it for the Music.

If Jerry Garcia was the heart (and/or soul) of The Grateful Dead, Bill Kreutzmann was the spirit. And he tells his story from that vantage point. Kreutzmann doesn't recall everything. But what he does recount are the emotions of the experience. Kreutzmann doesn't tell you merely what happened. He shares with you what it felt like to be there.

The feelings weren't always good. And Kreutzmann is up front about it. Mistakes are made and disasters ensue. This book does not sugar coat it. That level of honesty is rare. And Kreutzmann should be commended for it.

There are numerous hilarious episodes. This book is full of laughs. Particularly in the beginning. But countervailing tragedies pile up throughout the story.

As a drummer his focus was always on the Music. And as a narrator the Music is always front and center. (The drugs and the sex are here, of course. But they are secondary to the Rock and Roll. As they should be.) As a member of the band (and as a teller of this tale) Kreutzmann is consistent: nothing is more important to him than the Music.

Kreutzmann offers frank assessments of the other Musicians in The Grateful Dead as well as the band's performances and recordings. He is forthright in chronicling of the band's highs and lows. These are not always flattering. But the are always honest. And that makes "Deal" by Bill Kreutzmann a very good read.

[Patrick O'Hannigan · Rating 2 out of 5]

This meandering memoir frequently doubles back on itself, and probably reveals more about the emotional cost of big-time professional musicianship and near-constant touring than Kreutzmann even intended.

Co-author Benjy Eisen apparently decided just to sit with Kreutzmann and let his digital recorder run, because the only pretense of organization in the narrative groups anecdotes from each of the band's three decades together. Fortunately, the book gets better as it goes along.

Not surprisingly, legendary bandmate Jerry Garcia looms large in the telling. Kreutzmann also strews some things I did not expect among the sex, drugs, and rock and roll: His rueful look at what went wrong at Altamont in 1969, and his discourse from behind the drum kit on the hazards of playing keyboards for the Grateful Dead, are particularly vivid.

Kreutzmann's insights into his own life seldom go deeper than "follow your heart." That might be why his bouquet for music looks bigger to this reader than his bouquet for family.

Although this is not a book I want to keep, I'm glad I read it, and Kreutzmann's honesty impressed me.

[Lee Klein]

Worth it to learn that Billy's father sold Jerry a banjo when Jerry was 16. Didn't know that Phil had a temper and wanted to kick Bobby and Pigpen out of the band circa Aoxomoxa. Other than a few exploits, it's not very insightful or introspective. Met Eric Clapton, who wore cool red shoes. That sort of thing. Lots of acid, man. Seems like Kreutzmann got swept along at the right time, right place, with the right people. Glad I got it from the library and skimmed it but not worth really going on and on about it in a review.

[Joey Hines · Rating 4 out of 5]

Title aside, this is a great read for Deadheads of any degree. Benjy Eisen must've written down everything Bill said almost verbatim, because the way the narrative jumps around time periods is ridiculous. And yet it works; Billy's candor gives the book an enjoyable, conversational tone. I especially liked reading his opinions of the band's various recordings and the many post-Dead offshoot bands, like Trichromes, 7 Walkers, and Furthur.

[Neal P · Rating 1 out of 5]

A huge waste of time. Kreutzmann, who essentially never speaks for 50 years, decides to finally open his mouth. And what we get is some lame anecdotes from a pompous jerk who places himself square in the center of the Grateful Dead's success, putting himself on equal footing with Jerry, Bobby, and Phil. It's equal parts comical and sad. I have lost all respect for this guy and I hope he goes back to being silent.

[Shruts · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a medium-intensity Deadhead, I enjoyed this book, fair enough, if only for the insights within. But I always thought that the purpose of a ghost writer (this means you, Benjy Eisen) is to organize random thoughts in to a semblance of coherence. OK, rampant drug use was a hallmark of the Dead, but those days are gone. This book suffers from frequent tangents, rambling repetitiveness, and a general spaced out feel, like Eisen was the stoner, not Kruetzmann

[Peacegal · Rating 4 out of 5]

DEAL has a little bit of everything for fans of the Grateful Dead's music. Whether you're looking for the history of a band and social phenomenon, some wild party stories, or insight regarding how some of your favorite songs and albums were created and recorded, you'll find plenty of it here.

As with many other memoirs written by those whose principal art isn't writing, don't expect incredible prose here. DEAL is written simply and straightforwardly. It isn't always linear; the text skips around in time, as one would expect when having a conversation with a person who is recalling old memories. Kreutzmann throws in his own opinions on both the Grateful Dead and various social issues--some of which seem well-thought out and supported; others which just seem to be recitation of bumper-sticker sloganeering.

Today, Kreutzmann is spending his golden years in sunny Hawaii, and seems to be satisfied and at peace with how his life has gone. I was disappointed when I read of his hobby of sport fishing "trophy" species such as marlin and 100-lb. tuna. As these big predator fish become more and more rare, there's really no excuse. For those who love the sea, there are plenty of other hobbies from sailing to scuba diving that wouldn't be another nudge of these vulnerable species toward extinction.

[Dachokie · Rating 3 out of 5]

More Bark Than Bite …

This book was reviewed as part of Amazon's Vine program which included a free advance copy of the book.

While I’m not a fan of the Grateful Dead’s music (prefer the harder stuff), I still enjoy a good rock n’ roll story. Granted The Dead certainly has a loyal enough following that drummer Kreutzmann could have simply blown his nose between 2 sheets of paper and generated a best-seller, but thankfully, he gives us a little more. DEAL represents Kreutzmann’s 50 year journey with The Dead and all the trappings that came with it: drugs, music, strange trips (of which many were chemically induced) and the caravan of characters that rode with him along the way (in that order). Fun and interesting to a degree, but not particularly earth-shattering.
The mixture of elements that create rock and roll is generally unstable and oftentimes explosive. The art of voicing feelings of rebellion/anger through suggestive lyrics and electrified instruments delivered at high volume rattles enough cages on its own, but is still relatively safe. The danger comes when the combustible ingredients of fame, egos, drugs and big money are added to the mix. This volatile concoction has, in one form or another, left an ash trail of music heavies burned over the years (Beatles, Cream, Joplin, Hendrix, Zeppelin, etc.). Even though The Dead is celebrating 50 years as a band, its survival came at a price and Kreutzmann reveals the scars and missing limbs (including the band’s icon, Jerry Garcia) suffered along the way.

As a founding member of The Dead, Kreutzmann has a story to tell, but it’s HIS story, not a history of the band. DEAL is written in a relatively chronological manner; he jumps around a bit, but graciously alerts readers when he does and gets back on track rather smoothly. The band’s formation and early years are rather typical of most 60s era groups and Kreutzmann’s story doesn’t deviate far from the standard script. Things take a turn when the drugs enter the picture and become part of the books permanent foundation. Starting with the band’s dealings with “Bear” Owsley (which I now know to be the source of the “dancing” bear logo associated with The Dead) and his acid, readers are dosed with Kreutzmann’s experiences on almost every imaginable drug that could be swallowed, smoked or snorted. There are many drug-fueled stories occupying the pages of DEAL and while most are harmless, there are a few eye-brow raising moments. The author gleefully recounts someone in his crew acid-tainting a coffee pot used by a crew of unsuspecting CBS studio stagehands. Then, the self-proclaimed hippie recalls his love for shooting his .22 caliber Colt when high; killing deer with it one moment and later, firing off a few rounds inside a building while waiting for a photoshoot (scaring off a newly formed Led Zeppelin). I found the Zeppelin story somewhat amusing and wondered what would have happened if it were done when Zeppelin was managed by Peter Grant (Kruetzmann’s name may have been one of the earlier additions to the rock casualty list). Most of the book is dominated by substance-induced antics over 50 years and while the author managed to survive his chemical consumption, almost every chapter details someone he was close to that was not so fortunate (including his mother).

Kreutzmann’s details of the band and its evolution over the years are somewhat interesting (probably more-so to Deadheads). We get a better sense of what separates The Dead from other bands of its era and the flexibility that allowed it to survive so long (with two drummers, no less). He is honest about The Dead’s failure to perform well at the most iconic moments in rock history: Monterey Pop Festival, Woodstock and Altamont (where the band actually refused to play due to the violence). Unfortunately, in order to keep 50 years of stories in a single, readable volume we get short-changed on details. I wished there was more elaboration on Altamont, especially considering the Dead were friends with many of the Hells Angels and arguably connected to the Angels’ presence at the concert. Kreutzmann’s interaction with his bandmates, especially the founding members, isn’t explored very deeply and I found myself wondering how close these guys really were. The Dead’s various lineups over the years include a steady stream of keyboardists that seemed to join and die in relatively short order … ironically, the most ungrateful job in the band. Dead music and touring take a prominent role throughout DEAL and the band certainly lived up to its ideal of being a traveling group of gypsies playing before any group willing to lend an ear. Even though most of Kreutzmann’s travels are memories of drug-infused events, there is enough variety to keep things interesting. From the unique (playing a gig at the Great Pyramid in Egypt) to life-threatening (a sudden white-water rafting mishap) and even cliché (the claim of Mt. St. Helens erupting again while the band was in the middle of performing “Fire on the Mountain” at a venue in Oregon). Along the way, we meet numerous individuals that accompany the author at various points, including fellow musicians, his beloved John Belushi and the women that comprised his various marriages. Cumulatively, those who interacted with the Krueutzmann and his bandmates over the years became part of the growing caravan of loyal followers that made The Dead so unique.

Like the Grateful Dead’s music, DEAL is a mellow affair from beginning to end. Sure, there are some bumps in the road that are memorable, but overall, the book is a slow-simmering jam that simply rolls along. Entertaining and informative to a degree, it lacks the flame-throwing common in most rock memoirs. But then again, the Dead isn’t your stereotypical band … they did things their own way … and so does Kreutzmann.

[Camryn Porter · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honest and interesting and spared no details.
Billy is a Jerry fan and we are alike in that way.

"Everyone loved Jerry and none more than me."

It was cool to read about his journey with the band and how it all lead to him finding his girl at the end. I love Bill the Drummer.

[Bill Woodburn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Tell-all book by Grateful Dead drummer. Strictly for Deadheads. Horribly ghost-written, but some interesting history if you’re into the Dead.

[Steve · Rating 3 out of 5]

The prose gets quite sloppy at times but it gives you an inside look at the band over its 30 year career. Good to keep in mind it is just one person’s (one drummer’s!) perspective on things.

[HeavyReader · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an absolute must-read for any Grateful Dead fan. (If you just like a celebrity tell-all memoir, it's good as that too.)

In this book, Bill Kreutzmann--the first, last, and every time drummer for the Grateful Dead--tells his stories from his days with the band. It feels like he holds nothing back. He tells of the drugs. (It's kind of a wonder Bill can remember anything at all, after all the drugs he took over so many years.) He tells of the sex. (Thirteen ladies in one night, and I won't spoil the surprise by telling you which sexy revelation made me scream out loud.) And of course, he tells of rock-n-roll.

Bill doesn't stand behind the door to say which Grateful Dead songs were his favorite to play, which ones he most liked to listen to, and which ones he didn't care for. He offers his two cents on the debate about Donna Jean's singing. He's not shy about saying which keyboardists he thinks were truly members of the band and which ones were just filling in. He tells how he felt when Mickey returned to play drums with the Grateful Dead, and what he thought of the related bands that came along after Jerry died and the Grateful Dead disbanded. I don't agree with Bil on all counts, but I sure enjoy knowing his opinions.

The stories in the book are told in more or less chronological order. In lots of cases Bill tells a story, then says, "that reminds me of the time...," then tells about something that happened years before or after the original event. It works though. It's like listening to your grandpa's stories (if your grandpa were involved in one of the best rock-n-roll bands in history): the telling might be rambling, but the stories are so good, you barely notice.

At the end of the book, the reader realizes this whole story is a love letter to Bill's wife Aimee. It's also, of course, a love letter to all the Grateful Dead fans. And it's even a love letter from Bill to the other members of the Grateful Dead, his brothers, Bill calls them many times throughout the book.

This book has an index, which I find super sexy. (Oh! How I love a rock-n-roll index.)

If I could talk to Bill Kreutzmann, I would thank him for this book, thank him for his honesty, thank him for bringing me on his long, strange trip through the sharing of his memories. Then I'd ask him to tell me everything he can remember about being on LSD and playing at the Acid Tests.

[David Ward · Rating 3 out of 5]

Deal: My Three Decades of Drumming, Dreams, and Drugs with the Grateful Dead by Bill Kreutzmann (St. Martin's Press 2015) (780.92). All except one of the surviving original members of the Grateful Dead has written about his experiences. Bill Kreutzmann was the original drummer for the band and has been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. 2015 marked the fiftieth(!) anniversary of the band's 1965 debut, and for the first time Bill decided to share his side of the story. Through the years the other early band members (Jerry Garcia, Bob Weir, Phil Lesh, and Mickey Hart – all except Ron “Pigpen” McKernan, who died too young) have each had their say in books of their own. Many of the band's support staff have written extensively about their experiences as part of the extended Grateful Dead family, but Bill is the last surviving original member to have his say. His account is full of good old band tales along with some new information. For instance, I thought that the two drummers were at all times a unified force within the band. It is well-settled Dead lore that Mickey's Hart's father Lenny Hart stole several hundred thousand dollars from the band during a short stint as the band's manager. It is also fact that Mickey Hart was crushed by his father's treachery and left the band for several years as penance. What I didn't know until I read Kreutzmann's new account is that it was Bill who pushed to have Mickey kicked out of the group and who delivered the news to him! THAT must have been uncomfortable. Bill is an interesting guy; he has been married five times and now makes his home in Hawaii. I enjoyed this book very much: I would call it a must read for any Deadhead. My rating: 7/10, finished 7/2/15.

[Erik · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm always a fan of rock and roll autobiographies, especially those that center on the Grateful Dead, and this was no exception. It took a while to get used to the writing style (written in a manner very similar to video clips you may have seen of Neal Cassady driving "the bus"), but once I settled in, Kreutzmann offers a great look inside the lives of the band. Two things that really struck me: 1. It is incredibly sad reading of the helplessness everyone felt leading up to Jerry Garcia's death, and 2. I just loved how Kreutzmann frequently sprinkled song lyrics into his narration, without ever acknowledging them specifically.

[Elise · Rating 2 out of 5]

There were interesting things I learned reading this, but I found Bill rather shallow. He was very frank about many topics, and did not try to spin the tale to make himself look good. For example, after a dangerous accident whitewater rafting on Alaska, his first thought was 'Is my cocaine still dry?'.
The narration felt exactly as if taken directly from the audiotapes with minimal editing.
Perhaps the most disconcerting for a fan of the Grateful Dead, Bill basically ignores the existence of Phil Lesh and Bob Weir. The memoir is mostly Jerry focused, with some discussion of his co-drummer Mickey Hart and marking the decades by which keyboardist was there at the time.

[Don Gorman · Rating 1 out of 5]

(1 1/2) Any of you that check out my reviews know that I am a music guy. I played drums, I was in bands, I was on the radio for a couple of years, owned a record store, even promoted concerts (never the Dead). I read about every music book I can that I think is important. The Keith Richards book was great, so was the one by Graham Nash. I thought the books by Linda Ronstadt, Ray Manzarek and Don Felder were all lots of fun. This one is not in that league. It is terribly slow, disjointed and never flows. Some of the history of the Grateful Dead is compelling but the writing never is. Too bad.

[Andrew Mclaughlin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had trouble getting through this one to be honest. I'm not a Grateful Dead fan, so that might have helped.

I found my-self put off by his narcissism and ego, I honestly think the guy would be a homeless drug addict or dead without getting lucky many years ago.

One redeeming item I did take from the book was his obvious and out front affection for his friend Jerry Garcia..he deserves kudos for getting that across.

[Marc Ross · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was a fun read, but you can tell given the relative stream of consciousness that Bill just turned the tape recorder on and started talking. Some gaps in the story (especially the last 20 years and the interface and separation with others in the band such at Tom, Keith and Donna, the death of Vince, etc.). Overall, Billy pulled few punches and it's an honest read of one man's story in one of the greatest (and craziest) bands in the history of Rock 'n Roll.

[Barbikat60 · Rating 4 out of 5]

The truth will never be told

Why would you say that you know a lot more than you're going to tell in your book? Kreutzmann's book is rich with history and information and yet I feel cheated because he admits he left things out on purpose. He has his reasons. I have to let it go. Scully's book is still the best.

[Adam · Rating 2 out of 5]

Entertaining but I sort of felt like I was reading the stream of consciousness narrative of a 17 year old trying to get people to think he’s cool. There are certainly better books out there if you want to read about the band’s history.

[Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dennis McNally's book gave more details about the band but Bill's book was more entertaining.

[Jeff · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating life! A fun and entertaining read.

[Boston Pug · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great history lesson for any fan of The Grateful Dead or non-fan as well. The narrative rambles at time and the ghost writer's voice overpowers as well at times.