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Crow City #1
The Lost
Darkly haunting erotica with the taboo appeal of V.C. Andrews.
"If the romantic character study is a genre, this fascinating contemporary novel is its exemplar. McCade digs deep into the difficult topics of rape, incest, and sexual abuse via the remarkable voice of Clarissa Leigh VanZandt." - Publishers Weekly
There's something wrong with Leigh.
She's known it her whole life. She knows it every time she spreads her legs. Every time she begs for the pain, the pleasure, the heat of a hard man driving deep inside. She's a slave to her own twisted lusts--and it's eating her alive. She loves it. She craves it. Sex is her drug, and she's always chasing her next fix. But nothing can satisfy her addiction, not even the nameless men she uses and tosses aside. No one's ever given her what she truly needs.
Until Gabriel Hart.
Cold. Controlled. Impenetrable. Ex-Marine Gabriel Hart isn't the kind of man to come running when Leigh crooks her pretty little finger. She loathes him. She hungers for him. He's the only one who understands how broken she is, and just what it takes to satisfy the emptiness inside. But Gabriel won't settle for just one night. He wants to claim her, keep her, make her forever his. Together they are the lost, the ruined, the darkness at the heart of Crow City.
But Leigh has a darkness of her own. A predator stalking through her past--one she'll do anything to escape.
Even if it means running from the one man who could love her...and leaving behind something more precious to her than life itself.
TRIGGER WARNING: 18+
This book contains material that may be triggering or deeply disturbing to some readers, including scenes discussing or detailing rape, physical and emotional abuse, and incest. Please focus on self-care and, if this book is triggering to you, do not be afraid to put it down and walk away, or skip certain chapters. Be good to yourselves. -C
"If the romantic character study is a genre, this fascinating contemporary novel is its exemplar. McCade digs deep into the difficult topics of rape, incest, and sexual abuse via the remarkable voice of Clarissa Leigh VanZandt." - Publishers Weekly
There's something wrong with Leigh.
She's known it her whole life. She knows it every time she spreads her legs. Every time she begs for the pain, the pleasure, the heat of a hard man driving deep inside. She's a slave to her own twisted lusts--and it's eating her alive. She loves it. She craves it. Sex is her drug, and she's always chasing her next fix. But nothing can satisfy her addiction, not even the nameless men she uses and tosses aside. No one's ever given her what she truly needs.
Until Gabriel Hart.
Cold. Controlled. Impenetrable. Ex-Marine Gabriel Hart isn't the kind of man to come running when Leigh crooks her pretty little finger. She loathes him. She hungers for him. He's the only one who understands how broken she is, and just what it takes to satisfy the emptiness inside. But Gabriel won't settle for just one night. He wants to claim her, keep her, make her forever his. Together they are the lost, the ruined, the darkness at the heart of Crow City.
But Leigh has a darkness of her own. A predator stalking through her past--one she'll do anything to escape.
Even if it means running from the one man who could love her...and leaving behind something more precious to her than life itself.
TRIGGER WARNING: 18+
This book contains material that may be triggering or deeply disturbing to some readers, including scenes discussing or detailing rape, physical and emotional abuse, and incest. Please focus on self-care and, if this book is triggering to you, do not be afraid to put it down and walk away, or skip certain chapters. Be good to yourselves. -C
411 pages, ebook
First published August 23, 2015
34 people are currently reading
955 people want to read
About the author
Cole McCade
65 books1,529 followersSlender. Angry. (Part) Asian.
Yeah, that about sums me up.
Hi. I’m Cole. Xen. Whatever you want to call me; both are true, and both are lies. My pen names are multitudes, my nicknames legion. Tall, bi/queer, introverted author of a brown-ish persuasion made up of various flavors of Black, Asian, and Native American. I’m cuter than Hello Kitty, more bitter than the blackest coffee, and able to trip over cats in a single half-asleep lurch; I’m what happens when a Broody Antihero and a Manic Pixie Dream Boy fight to the death, and someone builds a person from the scraps left behind. Beardless, I look like the uke in every yaoi manga in existence; bearded or not, I sound like Barry White. About half my time is spent as a corporate writer, and the other half riding a train of WTFery that sometimes results in a finished book. Romance, erotica, sci-fi, horror, paranormal; LGBTQIA and cishet; diverse settings and diverse characters from a diverse author.
Sometimes I shout about things on the internet. Usually intersectional feminism and marginalized voices, and whomever’s punching down in those directions today. Sometimes human sociology, the psychology of sex and gender, and my own gender non-conforming arse (he/him, by the way). Sometimes I get really mad at Stephen Hawking and nerd out all over the place about hairy black holes, and believe it or not, that’s not a terrible pun or even worse innuendo.
That’s it. I’m a huge dork. My humor’s so dry it could empty oceans. I’m a native Southerner from the New Orleans area with zero Southern accent; I’m a mess of multi-ethnic, multi-cultural, multi-lingual influences; I have two cats. I wake up at daft hours of the morning to go running. I crochet terrible, lumpy things that never really turn into anything. I’m older than you think I look. I’m much more shy than my fury makes me sound (signifying gods only know what, but probably nothing). Recently I decided, at 36, that I needed to restart my life and move cross-country, so I tossed 75% of my possessions in the trash and randomly trucked it to Seattle. I’m in love with books and music and technology, and they war with each other for dominance and sometimes come together in a beautiful confluence. Most of the physical books I own are strange, obscure, out of print, overseas imports, or any combination of the four. Most of the physical books I used to own were destroyed in Hurricane Katrina, and have been replaced with the infinite library on my Nook. My wallet has a dangerous attraction to anything with pages; it flirts and teases and gives its all, until there’s nothing left but emptiness and ruin.
There will always be things you don’t know, and I won’t tell.
But ask me late at night over live music in a seedy bar, and you might just get an honest answer.
...or you can poke me via:
* Email: blackmagic@blackmagicblues.com
* Twitter: @thisblackmagic
* Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/xen.cole
* Website & Blog: http://www.blackmagicblues.com
* Tumblr: http://thisblackmagic.tumblr.com/
And there's my Xen Sanders SFF / Horror profile:
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Yeah, that about sums me up.
Hi. I’m Cole. Xen. Whatever you want to call me; both are true, and both are lies. My pen names are multitudes, my nicknames legion. Tall, bi/queer, introverted author of a brown-ish persuasion made up of various flavors of Black, Asian, and Native American. I’m cuter than Hello Kitty, more bitter than the blackest coffee, and able to trip over cats in a single half-asleep lurch; I’m what happens when a Broody Antihero and a Manic Pixie Dream Boy fight to the death, and someone builds a person from the scraps left behind. Beardless, I look like the uke in every yaoi manga in existence; bearded or not, I sound like Barry White. About half my time is spent as a corporate writer, and the other half riding a train of WTFery that sometimes results in a finished book. Romance, erotica, sci-fi, horror, paranormal; LGBTQIA and cishet; diverse settings and diverse characters from a diverse author.
Sometimes I shout about things on the internet. Usually intersectional feminism and marginalized voices, and whomever’s punching down in those directions today. Sometimes human sociology, the psychology of sex and gender, and my own gender non-conforming arse (he/him, by the way). Sometimes I get really mad at Stephen Hawking and nerd out all over the place about hairy black holes, and believe it or not, that’s not a terrible pun or even worse innuendo.
That’s it. I’m a huge dork. My humor’s so dry it could empty oceans. I’m a native Southerner from the New Orleans area with zero Southern accent; I’m a mess of multi-ethnic, multi-cultural, multi-lingual influences; I have two cats. I wake up at daft hours of the morning to go running. I crochet terrible, lumpy things that never really turn into anything. I’m older than you think I look. I’m much more shy than my fury makes me sound (signifying gods only know what, but probably nothing). Recently I decided, at 36, that I needed to restart my life and move cross-country, so I tossed 75% of my possessions in the trash and randomly trucked it to Seattle. I’m in love with books and music and technology, and they war with each other for dominance and sometimes come together in a beautiful confluence. Most of the physical books I own are strange, obscure, out of print, overseas imports, or any combination of the four. Most of the physical books I used to own were destroyed in Hurricane Katrina, and have been replaced with the infinite library on my Nook. My wallet has a dangerous attraction to anything with pages; it flirts and teases and gives its all, until there’s nothing left but emptiness and ruin.
There will always be things you don’t know, and I won’t tell.
But ask me late at night over live music in a seedy bar, and you might just get an honest answer.
...or you can poke me via:
* Email: blackmagic@blackmagicblues.com
* Twitter: @thisblackmagic
* Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/xen.cole
* Website & Blog: http://www.blackmagicblues.com
* Tumblr: http://thisblackmagic.tumblr.com/
And there's my Xen Sanders SFF / Horror profile:
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 125 reviews
August 25, 2016
If you saw her on the street you would probably walk right past her. You'd likely even go out of your way to avoid making eye contact or getting too close to her. This girl with the dirty hair and sad eyes. No one sees her pain, or acknowledges the hurt that's as clear as day on her haunted face. All they see is a girl who isn't up to societies standards. You'd judge her just from a glimpse, and then you'd forget her. Too bad she can't forget herself. Her name is Leigh, and this is her story.
The Lost was not a pretty story. There is no fairytale ending or a prince charming coming to save the day. There's only Leigh, on her own trying to survive a cruel life, but with no idea why she's even trying. Her story is raw, and gritty, and it takes you to the dark depths of this life that we would rather pretend don't exist.
I found myself enthralled with this book and I hated each second I wasn't reading it because of real life interrupting me. Stupid real life. But when I was reading, I was completely involved in Leigh's story and felt like I was a part of her and on this path to destruction along with her. The author wrote this story in such vivid detail that it was impossible for me to not feel like I knew these characters better than I know myself.
The grip that this book had on my heart while reading, and even now after I've finished, was one of the reasons I in love with it. Leigh was a broken character and has a life most people wouldn't understand, yet she was easy to relate to and to connect with. Were the actions she took something people would accept? No. But when you read her story you truly get a sense of understanding as to why she would set herself on a destructive path.
I wish I could give it a full five stars, but the ending was just too abrupt for that. I needed more! At least just a little more to get a sense of closure before it was finished for good. But the bottom line is that this is a huge recommend from me, and a book that I absolutely loved. Though I will warn that this story is not for the faint of heart and any reader should take note of the trigger warnings.
The Lost was not a pretty story. There is no fairytale ending or a prince charming coming to save the day. There's only Leigh, on her own trying to survive a cruel life, but with no idea why she's even trying. Her story is raw, and gritty, and it takes you to the dark depths of this life that we would rather pretend don't exist.
I found myself enthralled with this book and I hated each second I wasn't reading it because of real life interrupting me. Stupid real life. But when I was reading, I was completely involved in Leigh's story and felt like I was a part of her and on this path to destruction along with her. The author wrote this story in such vivid detail that it was impossible for me to not feel like I knew these characters better than I know myself.
The grip that this book had on my heart while reading, and even now after I've finished, was one of the reasons I in love with it. Leigh was a broken character and has a life most people wouldn't understand, yet she was easy to relate to and to connect with. Were the actions she took something people would accept? No. But when you read her story you truly get a sense of understanding as to why she would set herself on a destructive path.
I wish I could give it a full five stars, but the ending was just too abrupt for that. I needed more! At least just a little more to get a sense of closure before it was finished for good. But the bottom line is that this is a huge recommend from me, and a book that I absolutely loved. Though I will warn that this story is not for the faint of heart and any reader should take note of the trigger warnings.
October 18, 2016
2.5 Lost Me stars
The Lost was lost on me. I just really disliked the heroine. I read the premise and felt a need to read the book, I wanted the darkness it offered, but it's hard to take in when I feel nothing for the main character. I continued on with the book because of all the other characters; but in the end I just could wrap my head around her selfishness and her reasonings. I loved the thought of lost souls, but 90% was mainly in the darkness of self-pity and then all of a sudden it was all wrapped up nice and tight in a pretty red bow. Threw me for a loop, lost in disbelief.
I can’t say much about the story, because I do encourage you to give it a go and see for your self. This could be the dark story yo are looking for. Unfortunately for me, my dark meter and my sympathy meter are skewed, so not much care was given to her.
Copy kindly provided by the author, via NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.
***Quotes above are taken from the version of the book I received and may differ from published edition.
“Maybe we are lost, and some of us just don’t want to be found.”
The Lost was lost on me. I just really disliked the heroine. I read the premise and felt a need to read the book, I wanted the darkness it offered, but it's hard to take in when I feel nothing for the main character. I continued on with the book because of all the other characters; but in the end I just could wrap my head around her selfishness and her reasonings. I loved the thought of lost souls, but 90% was mainly in the darkness of self-pity and then all of a sudden it was all wrapped up nice and tight in a pretty red bow. Threw me for a loop, lost in disbelief.
I can’t say much about the story, because I do encourage you to give it a go and see for your self. This could be the dark story yo are looking for. Unfortunately for me, my dark meter and my sympathy meter are skewed, so not much care was given to her.
Copy kindly provided by the author, via NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.
***Quotes above are taken from the version of the book I received and may differ from published edition.
September 4, 2015
4.25 LOST-then-found Stars!
The Lost by Cole McCade was one of those books I ventured into by the book blurb alone- it had just enough promise of darkness, I couldn't NOT try it out. Cole McCade is a new author to me, and I've always appreciated the different voice we get with male authors and Mr. McCade did not disappoint.
The Lost depicts a woman deeply emotionally damaged by abuse from her step-father. The complexity of this heroine does not make for a lighthearted read. In fact, I found myself truly thinking, trying to understand why she wanted the ones who would hurt her, throw her away. Was it her seeking of control or her need to yield all control? She's complex to say the least. I was flabbergasted by the author's ability to paint a heroine so clearly scarred. He didn't TELL it to his readers. We SAW it, FELT it in his poetically descriptive prose.
Leigh leaves a world of wealth and prestige behind to live alone on the streets. No money, no bed to sleep in, nothing. Just a craving for nothing. She craves men to gut her deep within body for one night, then move I. Never a repeat...carnal pain is her crack. Until one night her choice was almost taken away from her in a dark alley but Gabriel Hart saves her from the near rape. This dark, brooding man with gunmetal eyes seemed to see right through her facade
Gabriel Hart isn't a man without his own psychological issues. A Marine veteran, survivors guilt doesn't begin to describe the issues Gabriel faces, yet he and Leigh, otherwise lost to the world around them, seem to find something within each other to piece together their otherwise shattered psyches.
This book obviously isn't for everyone. The subject matter is very much for a certain taste. Domestic abuse, emotional abuse, a seriously dysfunctional heroine that finds a perfect fit in an almost equally dysfunctional hero. There's darker taboo scenes within flashbacks to the past and it may trigger some readers with a history of any sort of abuse. This story, however, definitely stretched my comfort zone in the way the author writes the scenes so vividly. Yet he gradually gifts us with an unconventional love story in the end. These two trope combinations are perfect for me- taboo is my guilty pleasure mixed with my hopeless inner romantic all rolled in one great storyline.
My only issue is the length and some of the flowery descriptions. We could cut out "some of the fluff-" as my English Literature professor would say- and still have the beautiful writing and story he's formed. Sometimes I just got a little lost in all the lyrics. Cole McCade is an author I will definitelystalk check out. It sounds like this is his first venture into the dark side of romance. He can continue to embrace his inner dark writer because I'll definitely be coming back for more. His writing style is very similar to the likes of CD Reiss or Pepper Winters in the poetic prose. I'd highly recommend this book for those fans of a bit of taboo, who like to stretch the limits of their real-life realities, yet still have that romantic heart deep within.
Well done!
One night, the universe saw it's own reflection and fell in love...
The Lost is a standalone novel within the Crow City Series. Looking forward to what he's got in store for the next book.
Advanced copy received by author in exchange for my honest review.
The Lost by Cole McCade was one of those books I ventured into by the book blurb alone- it had just enough promise of darkness, I couldn't NOT try it out. Cole McCade is a new author to me, and I've always appreciated the different voice we get with male authors and Mr. McCade did not disappoint.
The Lost depicts a woman deeply emotionally damaged by abuse from her step-father. The complexity of this heroine does not make for a lighthearted read. In fact, I found myself truly thinking, trying to understand why she wanted the ones who would hurt her, throw her away. Was it her seeking of control or her need to yield all control? She's complex to say the least. I was flabbergasted by the author's ability to paint a heroine so clearly scarred. He didn't TELL it to his readers. We SAW it, FELT it in his poetically descriptive prose.
Leigh leaves a world of wealth and prestige behind to live alone on the streets. No money, no bed to sleep in, nothing. Just a craving for nothing. She craves men to gut her deep within body for one night, then move I. Never a repeat...carnal pain is her crack. Until one night her choice was almost taken away from her in a dark alley but Gabriel Hart saves her from the near rape. This dark, brooding man with gunmetal eyes seemed to see right through her facade
Gabriel Hart isn't a man without his own psychological issues. A Marine veteran, survivors guilt doesn't begin to describe the issues Gabriel faces, yet he and Leigh, otherwise lost to the world around them, seem to find something within each other to piece together their otherwise shattered psyches.
This book obviously isn't for everyone. The subject matter is very much for a certain taste. Domestic abuse, emotional abuse, a seriously dysfunctional heroine that finds a perfect fit in an almost equally dysfunctional hero. There's darker taboo scenes within flashbacks to the past and it may trigger some readers with a history of any sort of abuse. This story, however, definitely stretched my comfort zone in the way the author writes the scenes so vividly. Yet he gradually gifts us with an unconventional love story in the end. These two trope combinations are perfect for me- taboo is my guilty pleasure mixed with my hopeless inner romantic all rolled in one great storyline.
My only issue is the length and some of the flowery descriptions. We could cut out "some of the fluff-" as my English Literature professor would say- and still have the beautiful writing and story he's formed. Sometimes I just got a little lost in all the lyrics. Cole McCade is an author I will definitely
Well done!
One night, the universe saw it's own reflection and fell in love...
The Lost is a standalone novel within the Crow City Series. Looking forward to what he's got in store for the next book.
Advanced copy received by author in exchange for my honest review.
August 31, 2015
5 - "Do you think lost people recognize each other, when they meet?" Stars!
The Lost is without doubt the type of book I normally avoid, and you certainly won't find a ream of titles of this genre sitting on my TBR shelf. Not because it is badly written, but because it covers subject matter that as a reader I do not look to read about.
Dark, gritty, taboo, uncomfortable, and in equal parts heart-wrenchingly sad and gut-churningly brutal. But when a trusted friend and fellow reader recommends a book to me, on occasion I step out of my comfort zone. This was one of those times, and if I can impart anything in my review it would be to take heed of the trigger warning, the author had the forethought to add it for a reason, and it is there so that readers make good choices in their reading matter.
This isn't a fluffy, cuddly, cute romance, and as such should be read with the expectation that shit is going to be real, and all punches are delivered with the full force of the writers story telling skill.
There isn't a huge amount I can tell you about the story that unfolds around Leigh and Gabriel, both are battling demons, their pasts, and looking for the direction their futures are heading in. What I can say is this book keeps you on your toes, and just when you think it is safe to come out from behind the sofa, Cole provides another slap-in-the-face twist, just to make sure you are still paying attention.
"What struck you hard enough to break you?"
This isn't a book I would recommend lightly, or a light book to read, but it made me think, and it made me feel and there isn't a higher accolade that I can really give The Lost than that really.
ARC generously provided by the author, in exchange for the above honest review.
The Lost is without doubt the type of book I normally avoid, and you certainly won't find a ream of titles of this genre sitting on my TBR shelf. Not because it is badly written, but because it covers subject matter that as a reader I do not look to read about.
Dark, gritty, taboo, uncomfortable, and in equal parts heart-wrenchingly sad and gut-churningly brutal. But when a trusted friend and fellow reader recommends a book to me, on occasion I step out of my comfort zone. This was one of those times, and if I can impart anything in my review it would be to take heed of the trigger warning, the author had the forethought to add it for a reason, and it is there so that readers make good choices in their reading matter.
This isn't a fluffy, cuddly, cute romance, and as such should be read with the expectation that shit is going to be real, and all punches are delivered with the full force of the writers story telling skill.
There isn't a huge amount I can tell you about the story that unfolds around Leigh and Gabriel, both are battling demons, their pasts, and looking for the direction their futures are heading in. What I can say is this book keeps you on your toes, and just when you think it is safe to come out from behind the sofa, Cole provides another slap-in-the-face twist, just to make sure you are still paying attention.
"What struck you hard enough to break you?"
This isn't a book I would recommend lightly, or a light book to read, but it made me think, and it made me feel and there isn't a higher accolade that I can really give The Lost than that really.
ARC generously provided by the author, in exchange for the above honest review.
May 31, 2016
It's been a long time since I've pulled an almost all-nighter reading. Prepare yourself, because for amongst all that is a little unsettling, The Lost is an absorbing story which holds you captive and has characters with real depth. It's dark and, at times, uncomfortable but it's equally touching, and the journey you are taken on and the emotion it pulls from you is something else.
I'm going to be vague, I'm not going into much detail because doing so risks taking away something special; the not knowing. Not knowing where the story was heading, how and if Leigh and Gabriel can overcome their demons, individually and together, and not knowing if they are even right for one another. It wasn't entirely the story I was expecting; I knew it held taboo elements, but everything enveloping this was so much more than I could have anticipated.
It's a story that will stab at your heart. It's is one of acceptance and so much more, and for someone who's not particularly a crier, there were tears; painful and joyful. Some parts don't make easy reading, but they are vital to the story and are written with compassion and consideration. But amongst the dark there are plentiful heat-filled moments along with those that will make you smile and those that will make your heart sigh, lifting you exactly when you need it and bringing the hope that you so crave.
This is a character-driven novel that will make you feel and its slightly longer length really gives readers the opportunity to get to know Leigh and Gabriel; understand them, accept, love and appreciate them for the damaged, lost, yet strong, passionate souls they are. Cole McCade is a talented author, I loved his contemporary romance, A Second Chance at Paris, but this just highlights how versatile in his craft he is.
Copy received courtesy of the author for an honest and unbiased opinion. It was my absolute pleasure.
I'm going to be vague, I'm not going into much detail because doing so risks taking away something special; the not knowing. Not knowing where the story was heading, how and if Leigh and Gabriel can overcome their demons, individually and together, and not knowing if they are even right for one another. It wasn't entirely the story I was expecting; I knew it held taboo elements, but everything enveloping this was so much more than I could have anticipated.
It's a story that will stab at your heart. It's is one of acceptance and so much more, and for someone who's not particularly a crier, there were tears; painful and joyful. Some parts don't make easy reading, but they are vital to the story and are written with compassion and consideration. But amongst the dark there are plentiful heat-filled moments along with those that will make you smile and those that will make your heart sigh, lifting you exactly when you need it and bringing the hope that you so crave.
This is a character-driven novel that will make you feel and its slightly longer length really gives readers the opportunity to get to know Leigh and Gabriel; understand them, accept, love and appreciate them for the damaged, lost, yet strong, passionate souls they are. Cole McCade is a talented author, I loved his contemporary romance, A Second Chance at Paris, but this just highlights how versatile in his craft he is.
Copy received courtesy of the author for an honest and unbiased opinion. It was my absolute pleasure.
April 17, 2016
***** 5 My little mouse stars*****
Best of the year for me. WOW amazing!
"The wounded, the broken, the struggling, the hopeful ... the lost. We find beauty in poison, and we love the bitter taste."
I'm gonna start with the writing, this is my first book by Cole McCade and I was blown away.
His writing was beautiful and flawless, he has a way with words that made you feel everything. I don't remember the last time I highlighted a book as much as I did this one!
Sometimes you read a book and you feel like it drags and it's slow,... this is NOT the case. The Lost was 415 pages and I promise you when I read the last page I was sad to see it end I could have easily read more. It was that good!
" She wanted him to hurt, then love the pain away."
Having said that this is not an easy read, it's dark, taboo, emotional, gritty and deals with subjects that are not easy to read about. So take the Trigger Warning seriously!
"The wounded, the broken, the struggling, the hopeful ... the lost. We find beauty in poison, and we love the bitter taste."
For the story, I am not gonna go in details of what happens. The blurb gives you enough of a taste to make you want to know more. The author did a great job of portraying these characters as real. Leigh and Gabriel were complex and damage characters but together they healed each other.
"Thank you. For making me feel like no matter how many times my wings break... one day, they might just grow back"
My review will definitely not do this book justice so all I can say is give this book a chance!
“Do you think lost people recognize each other, when they meet?” she whispered. “We did,” he said, and kissed her.
I would definitely recommend this book to fans of Pepper Winters.
Denise thank you for the rec!!
February 20, 2017
4.5 stars
Dark, gritty, and gut-wrenching story! This author was new to me, but this book delivered so much more than what I was expecting! There were tortured main lead characters, yes, but the passionate and captivating way in which the author presented these characters made me warm to them, imperfections and all.
Small issues? The author's writing style was an adjustment for me in the beginning. It was almost overly descriptive/ lyrical at times. Some of that wordiness made my mind wander briefly, but this story was the perfect blend of showing and telling.
The POV was singular and this story didn't focus all that much on romance. Leigh's journey in life was one carved from tremendous emotional pain, regret, and distortion that lead to much self-loathing. As a result, there was much promiscuity noted on her part, but there was also growth, progression, and understanding, too.
As much I loved this story, the pet name given to Leigh by Gabrielle annoyed me, but most readers won't be bothered by that. There was significance behind the author's choice of those words, but pet names tend to irk me and there was no exception this time.
This book did NOT glorify the dark matters addressed in the story. In fact, the author's afterward was detailed and very clear about "fantasy versus reality" and how "our culture" views certain behaviors.
Favorite steamy scene? It started with a pencil eraser, involved a teacher, and a desk.
Umm, yep!!
En-joyed!
Dark, gritty, and gut-wrenching story! This author was new to me, but this book delivered so much more than what I was expecting! There were tortured main lead characters, yes, but the passionate and captivating way in which the author presented these characters made me warm to them, imperfections and all.
Small issues? The author's writing style was an adjustment for me in the beginning. It was almost overly descriptive/ lyrical at times. Some of that wordiness made my mind wander briefly, but this story was the perfect blend of showing and telling.
The POV was singular and this story didn't focus all that much on romance. Leigh's journey in life was one carved from tremendous emotional pain, regret, and distortion that lead to much self-loathing. As a result, there was much promiscuity noted on her part, but there was also growth, progression, and understanding, too.
As much I loved this story, the pet name given to Leigh by Gabrielle annoyed me, but most readers won't be bothered by that. There was significance behind the author's choice of those words, but pet names tend to irk me and there was no exception this time.
This book did NOT glorify the dark matters addressed in the story. In fact, the author's afterward was detailed and very clear about "fantasy versus reality" and how "our culture" views certain behaviors.
Favorite steamy scene? It started with a pencil eraser, involved a teacher, and a desk.
Umm, yep!!
En-joyed!
December 15, 2015
☆☆☆☆ 4.5 Daddy's Little Girl Stars ☆☆☆☆
"Dishes and dicks. That was what she'd traded her life for; dishes and dicks and still she was happier than she'd been with a minivan and an investment account. "
Leigh is a lost and broken sole. After leaving a life of domestic "perfection" (or so everyone thinks) behind, she finds peace on the streets. Never getting attached to anything so feelings can never be felt, she lives with ghosts of the life she has escaped.
Her demons rule her presence with a force she can't overcome. Leigh doesn't feel worthy of any form of love, especially the love of her four year old son. Leaving Elijah was her ultimate heartbreak.
Life on the streets has been tough but better than the life she had. To battle her demons, she submits her body to men to give her the power she has never had.
Until she meets Gabriel.
Gabriel is just as lost as Leigh. He lives his life alone to battle his own demons as well.
Leigh and Gabriel are pushed together by his biggest demon, a drug addiction, from the pain of a war injury.
Not wanting to stick around, Leigh can't leave Gabriel to fight his battle alone. With her heart at risk, she stays and fights with him to overcome his darkness only she also starts fighting her darkness as well.
Two lost souls come together and create a dark beauty together.
"Tonight she was a goddess of broken down dreams."
"I want to touch more than just your skin."
Gabriel doesn't want to let Leigh go, but she can't stay. She has to go back an fight for the one person she can't let go of.
This story is so broken and sad but beautiful and heart grabbing.
I admit the first 50% of this book was too drawn out for me. This is the reason for my 4.5 ☆'s. The build up was so slow, but I knew I had to keep pushing forward with this story. THANK GOD I DID......AMAZING CONCLUSION!!
WARNING: This book as a lot going on that has some emotional triggers. It is a definite, stick this out kind of story!!
"Dishes and dicks. That was what she'd traded her life for; dishes and dicks and still she was happier than she'd been with a minivan and an investment account. "
Leigh is a lost and broken sole. After leaving a life of domestic "perfection" (or so everyone thinks) behind, she finds peace on the streets. Never getting attached to anything so feelings can never be felt, she lives with ghosts of the life she has escaped.
Her demons rule her presence with a force she can't overcome. Leigh doesn't feel worthy of any form of love, especially the love of her four year old son. Leaving Elijah was her ultimate heartbreak.
Life on the streets has been tough but better than the life she had. To battle her demons, she submits her body to men to give her the power she has never had.
Until she meets Gabriel.
Gabriel is just as lost as Leigh. He lives his life alone to battle his own demons as well.
Leigh and Gabriel are pushed together by his biggest demon, a drug addiction, from the pain of a war injury.
Not wanting to stick around, Leigh can't leave Gabriel to fight his battle alone. With her heart at risk, she stays and fights with him to overcome his darkness only she also starts fighting her darkness as well.
Two lost souls come together and create a dark beauty together.
"Tonight she was a goddess of broken down dreams."
"I want to touch more than just your skin."
Gabriel doesn't want to let Leigh go, but she can't stay. She has to go back an fight for the one person she can't let go of.
This story is so broken and sad but beautiful and heart grabbing.
I admit the first 50% of this book was too drawn out for me. This is the reason for my 4.5 ☆'s. The build up was so slow, but I knew I had to keep pushing forward with this story. THANK GOD I DID......AMAZING CONCLUSION!!
WARNING: This book as a lot going on that has some emotional triggers. It is a definite, stick this out kind of story!!
May 16, 2016
This was a very intense and well written read. It is not for everybody, and readers should take the author's warning very seriously before reading this book. There are very hard subjects and themes to deal with and I am positive it would trigger certain people. If you are into the darker reads, then this is one to pick up for sure. I am short on time right now but I feel this book deserves a more in depth review. Hopefully I will be able to come back and give it a review more worthy of this story.
I need to say that the author is a male author, and this is the first time I have read a male romance author's work. I have to admit that I really enjoyed it. I found this to be a whole lot grittier and edgier. I am not sure if that is because the author is male??? But it did work for me. I was fully engaged in the story. I will admit that Leigh and her decisions made me angry for pretty much the whole story. She made really stupid mistakes and I had a hard time feeling totally sorry for her. Does that mean I enjoyed what happened to her? Hell no...I just felt she made a lot of selfish decisions..
I could go on and on about this book as it is one that will definitely get you thinking...Thank you Steph for Buddy reading "The Lost" with me!!! I love being able to vent to one another when we become so involved with the characters we read about...LOL
I need to say that the author is a male author, and this is the first time I have read a male romance author's work. I have to admit that I really enjoyed it. I found this to be a whole lot grittier and edgier. I am not sure if that is because the author is male??? But it did work for me. I was fully engaged in the story. I will admit that Leigh and her decisions made me angry for pretty much the whole story. She made really stupid mistakes and I had a hard time feeling totally sorry for her. Does that mean I enjoyed what happened to her? Hell no...I just felt she made a lot of selfish decisions..
I could go on and on about this book as it is one that will definitely get you thinking...Thank you Steph for Buddy reading "The Lost" with me!!! I love being able to vent to one another when we become so involved with the characters we read about...LOL
December 19, 2015
This is one of the hardest reviews I've ever written, so hard to put this story into words. This story had elements in it that were brutal and intensely sad. It's incredibly dark and very heartbreaking. Leigh's story is told in layers, each slowly peeled back of her history, and how she became the lost, sad girl she is. There are definite TRIGGER WARNINGS for this story, they should absolutely be heeded.
Leigh never wants to allow anyone to have power over her again. She's sick of men having power over her, and she vows to never let that happen to her ever again. Circumstances in Leigh's life happen, that somewhat force Leigh to become a babysitter of Gabriel, something she's guilted into, but doesn't want. Gabriel is dealing with his own demons-drug addiction to pain pills he's needed for injuries he acquired when he was in the war. He's been fighting his addiction for a long time. He's trying to stop them completely, but he needs help, someone to watch over him and make sure he doesn't fall back into them again. They absolutely butt heads in the beginning, but as they start to learn each other's stories and pasts, they become closer to each other. These two broken souls start to feel for each other, something they haven't allowed for themselves in forever, and neither are quite sure how start now. A lot happens towards the ending of this story, and I loved how it wrapped up with them being together. It was a perfect ending, and a perfect beginning for the two of them to allow themselves a new life. I absolutely do not do this story justice in this fluffy review, it was a much more fantastic story than I'm able to describe here. A story that pulled every raw emotion out of the reader. I truly enjoyed every second of it.
I absolutely adored the side characters in this story too, especially Wally and Willow. I loved how they helped Leigh so much. They were brilliant and I fell in love with them both. Cole McCade is an amazing story teller. This is the first story I have read by him, but I absolutely plan on checking out all of his other works now too.
August 30, 2015
Review: Surj 4.75 stars
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Cole mcCade's "The Lost" was a book that I hadn't heard of until I saw a blog post about it's release recently. In fact, I hadn't even heard of the author up until that point but if this is the quality I can expect from the mysterious writer, then I have to say, I will definitely be picking up more of his books. This really was a gem of a find that I couldn't recommend enough. Although not quite a dark read (as some of the reviews have said... not for me anyway), this sure as hell was a disturbing, twisted, fucked up, crazy read that had me on the edge of my seat, my heart in my mouth more times than I care to count and my nerves balancing precariously on an edge, waiting for that bombshell to send me into the mother of all free falls. Yes this book had all of those things and so much more.
The story line for "The Lost" was pretty unique which meant that I had no idea as to the direction the plot would take. Add to that, the complex, intense and very troubled lead characters I was given and all I could do was hold on tight and prepare myself for what was going to be a very bumpy ride. Leigh and Gabriel were two people with tragic pasts. Two people with addictions. Two people who shared an emptiness... a void that consumed them, that ate away at them, ultimately taking them down a path of pain, hurt and destruction. These two characters shouldn't have fit, they shouldn't have found comfort in one another but they did and it was this that had the potential to be their ultimate ruin.
Gabriel's character equally carried around a past that still haunted him. Guilt for actions that were out of his control ate away at him, the scars he carried, a constant reminder of those he felt he'd let down. I loved Gabriel's character, even though there were times he confused the hell out of me. The way he was with Leigh though... so understanding, so compassionate and so none judgemental. He gave her exactly what she needed, even though it took her time to realise it.
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"
These two together were such a beautiful head fuck (for want of a better word), They were good for each other but equally, there was almost a destructive side. i have to say, I am so so glad for this author's "afterwards" at the end of the story because this really did help explain a couple of things about each of the characters and their behaviour which had puzzled me somewhat... particularly Gabriel who appeared to contradict himself once or twice. Fear not though peeps, all becomes a little clearer in the authors after notes.
The subject matters covered in "The Lost" are definitely not those that will be read with ease or comfort. In fact quite the opposite. Prepare to feel uncomfortable, angry, frustrated and agitated. Prepare to feel unease, to put the book down and take a breather, to walk away and wonder what the hell you're reading. All I can do is implore you to carry on because all will become clearer the further you read on. I'm not saying it will get easier... definitely not because the last quarter of the book had my heart rate spike, my pulse thumping in my head. But what I am saying is that this book is absolutely worth finishing.
If you're looking for a well written, intense, dirty, emotionally raw, provocative read, then this is definitely what you're looking for. Just put your big girl panties on before you dive in because trust me, you're going to need them.
I rated "The Lost" ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ (4.75).
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheHopelessR...
TSU: http://www.tsu.co/HopelessRomantics
Blog: http://thehopelessromanticsbookblog.b...
Cole mcCade's "The Lost" was a book that I hadn't heard of until I saw a blog post about it's release recently. In fact, I hadn't even heard of the author up until that point but if this is the quality I can expect from the mysterious writer, then I have to say, I will definitely be picking up more of his books. This really was a gem of a find that I couldn't recommend enough. Although not quite a dark read (as some of the reviews have said... not for me anyway), this sure as hell was a disturbing, twisted, fucked up, crazy read that had me on the edge of my seat, my heart in my mouth more times than I care to count and my nerves balancing precariously on an edge, waiting for that bombshell to send me into the mother of all free falls. Yes this book had all of those things and so much more.
She was sick- but he was sick too.
The story line for "The Lost" was pretty unique which meant that I had no idea as to the direction the plot would take. Add to that, the complex, intense and very troubled lead characters I was given and all I could do was hold on tight and prepare myself for what was going to be a very bumpy ride. Leigh and Gabriel were two people with tragic pasts. Two people with addictions. Two people who shared an emptiness... a void that consumed them, that ate away at them, ultimately taking them down a path of pain, hurt and destruction. These two characters shouldn't have fit, they shouldn't have found comfort in one another but they did and it was this that had the potential to be their ultimate ruin.
If she was a little mouse, then he was a wildcat battling her around, toying with her before eating her, and she wished she didn't want the thrill of never knowing when his jaw would come down.It's so difficult to give you any more information about the story line with spoiling it but know that each of these characters will make you feel a whole host of emotions. Leigh in particular left my head in such a mess. She really was one hell of a fucked up woman and the more I got about her back story, the more my heart went out to her. I got why she had taken the path she was traveling on. That didn't necessarily make it right but it did help me to understand the car crash that was her life. All she needed was some form of control, some form of power in the choices she made and what she did gave her that... in a random, messed up kind of way.
"We find beauty in poison, and we love the bitter taste."
Gabriel's character equally carried around a past that still haunted him. Guilt for actions that were out of his control ate away at him, the scars he carried, a constant reminder of those he felt he'd let down. I loved Gabriel's character, even though there were times he confused the hell out of me. The way he was with Leigh though... so understanding, so compassionate and so none judgemental. He gave her exactly what she needed, even though it took her time to realise it.
[image error]
" These two together were such a beautiful head fuck (for want of a better word), They were good for each other but equally, there was almost a destructive side. i have to say, I am so so glad for this author's "afterwards" at the end of the story because this really did help explain a couple of things about each of the characters and their behaviour which had puzzled me somewhat... particularly Gabriel who appeared to contradict himself once or twice. Fear not though peeps, all becomes a little clearer in the authors after notes.
The subject matters covered in "The Lost" are definitely not those that will be read with ease or comfort. In fact quite the opposite. Prepare to feel uncomfortable, angry, frustrated and agitated. Prepare to feel unease, to put the book down and take a breather, to walk away and wonder what the hell you're reading. All I can do is implore you to carry on because all will become clearer the further you read on. I'm not saying it will get easier... definitely not because the last quarter of the book had my heart rate spike, my pulse thumping in my head. But what I am saying is that this book is absolutely worth finishing.
One night the universe saw it's own reflection and fell in love.
If you're looking for a well written, intense, dirty, emotionally raw, provocative read, then this is definitely what you're looking for. Just put your big girl panties on before you dive in because trust me, you're going to need them.
I rated "The Lost" ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ (4.75).
April 5, 2016
4.5 stars
This book is a slow burn. The writing is very detailed, kind of flowery, the author uses a lot of similes and metaphors. I feel like "flowery" has a bit of a negative connotation but that's not how I mean it, the writing is gorgeous; I highlighted so much of this book because I just fell in love with the way this author strung words together to make breathtaking and often heartbreaking sentences.
I feel like the best way to describe the content of this book is heavy. It dives into some very serious subject matter and really looks at it, not just in passing, and this close examination can weigh heavy on your mind. This is definitely not a light and fluffy book.
Leigh is lost. She’s lost in the brutal touch of the men she seeks out; she’s lost in her pursuit of anonymity, her pursuit of emotionless relationships, in her efforts to be invisible. As hard as she tries to be unattached and to fade into nothing, she can never really accomplish it, she’s irreversibly tied to someone she tried to leave, whom she refuses to fully abandon.
When Gabriel and Leigh continue to find themselves together it’s easy to hope that he’ll fix her but Gabriel has his own demons. He doesn’t want what Leigh offers him, he wants her to share her secrets with him and to trust him with all the vulnerable pieces of her. She slowly starts to open up to him but no one can fix what Leigh doesn’t want fixed.
She remains obstinate in her pursuit of solitude until she changes everything by going after something she left long ago. This was a decision she needed to make but it led her into a horrible situation that she was trapped in.
This book was definitely worth the read. It was kind of long but it was well done and Leigh's struggles were so well fought. She had this air of apathy but she had such capacity for feeling. Be sure to heed the warnings from the author.
“Tonight she was a goddess of broken-down dreams, and didn’t want any mortal man to touch her."
This book is a slow burn. The writing is very detailed, kind of flowery, the author uses a lot of similes and metaphors. I feel like "flowery" has a bit of a negative connotation but that's not how I mean it, the writing is gorgeous; I highlighted so much of this book because I just fell in love with the way this author strung words together to make breathtaking and often heartbreaking sentences.
I feel like the best way to describe the content of this book is heavy. It dives into some very serious subject matter and really looks at it, not just in passing, and this close examination can weigh heavy on your mind. This is definitely not a light and fluffy book.
“But her body refused to listen—her tainted dirty defiled little body that needed sex like an addiction, that wanted to take her hate out on him with raking nails while he punished her with vicious thrusts and filled her until she split apart. She wanted his bruising touch reaching deep inside her, because unless it hurt it wasn’t real enough."
Leigh is lost. She’s lost in the brutal touch of the men she seeks out; she’s lost in her pursuit of anonymity, her pursuit of emotionless relationships, in her efforts to be invisible. As hard as she tries to be unattached and to fade into nothing, she can never really accomplish it, she’s irreversibly tied to someone she tried to leave, whom she refuses to fully abandon.
“She bent the bars of her cage, and sacrificed the most beautiful thing she’d ever made so she could run away. Maybe she doesn’t fly…but she won’t stay tied to earth, either."
When Gabriel and Leigh continue to find themselves together it’s easy to hope that he’ll fix her but Gabriel has his own demons. He doesn’t want what Leigh offers him, he wants her to share her secrets with him and to trust him with all the vulnerable pieces of her. She slowly starts to open up to him but no one can fix what Leigh doesn’t want fixed.
She remains obstinate in her pursuit of solitude until she changes everything by going after something she left long ago. This was a decision she needed to make but it led her into a horrible situation that she was trapped in.
“‘That moment was when she realized that every woman is a broken goddess. Every last one.’
‘Why broken?’ Hart asked softly.
‘Because we’re all born in that cage, and we’ve been breaking our wings against the bars ever since.’"
This book was definitely worth the read. It was kind of long but it was well done and Leigh's struggles were so well fought. She had this air of apathy but she had such capacity for feeling. Be sure to heed the warnings from the author.
“She didn’t break, She never broke. Not anymore, and never again. Not for him. Not for anyone."
August 28, 2015
4 - 4.5 STARS!
"Maybe we are lost, and some of us just don't want to be found."
When Allison and I stumbled across the sign up for this read, we both knew we just had to take a chance with this one. To say I'm surprised by how much I really enjoyed this read would be an understatement because I went in with close to zero expectations as I've never read anything from this author before. While this book screams dark from the cover itself to the blurb that makes you shudder a little, the story was so much more than the dark elements. Beneath all that dark layers is a treasure of one profound love story.
Leigh is a troubled woman who ran away from her home, her family and left everything behind, she craves for the pain during pleasure and she can't get enough of it. But after meeting Gabriel Hart, he was not just another of those men who would gave her what she wanted when she offered. Gabriel is a war veteran who is suffering from pain, physically and mentally; he's just as broken as she is. Together these two realised that sometimes, you just need to be lost before you find yourselves again.
There are definitely some trigger elements in this book that will shun readers away (non-consent rape, lack of self-love) but I think if you can get past that, you'll find yourself mesmerized by these multi-layered characters. The author had such a way with words that left me a little breathless as I read them. There's just something so hauntingly beautiful with this read that I can't really put into words. It's the kind where you find yourself immersed in this world filled with darkness but yet you take comfort in the glimmer of light and hope amidst it.
The only mini struggle I had with this was that it was a tad lengthy read but overall, I was still blown away by this author's work. I'm definitely looking forward to read more from him and would recommend this book if you're looking for an emotionally gripping dark read that's gritty but still able to dish out a solid love story with a swoon-worthy hero!
The Lost is a standalone dark read in the Crow City series.
ARC kindly provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.
"Maybe we are lost, and some of us just don't want to be found."
When Allison and I stumbled across the sign up for this read, we both knew we just had to take a chance with this one. To say I'm surprised by how much I really enjoyed this read would be an understatement because I went in with close to zero expectations as I've never read anything from this author before. While this book screams dark from the cover itself to the blurb that makes you shudder a little, the story was so much more than the dark elements. Beneath all that dark layers is a treasure of one profound love story.
Leigh is a troubled woman who ran away from her home, her family and left everything behind, she craves for the pain during pleasure and she can't get enough of it. But after meeting Gabriel Hart, he was not just another of those men who would gave her what she wanted when she offered. Gabriel is a war veteran who is suffering from pain, physically and mentally; he's just as broken as she is. Together these two realised that sometimes, you just need to be lost before you find yourselves again.
"How do you know me so well?"
"Maybe I've always known you, and we were just waiting to be found."
There are definitely some trigger elements in this book that will shun readers away (non-consent rape, lack of self-love) but I think if you can get past that, you'll find yourself mesmerized by these multi-layered characters. The author had such a way with words that left me a little breathless as I read them. There's just something so hauntingly beautiful with this read that I can't really put into words. It's the kind where you find yourself immersed in this world filled with darkness but yet you take comfort in the glimmer of light and hope amidst it.
"The wounded, the broken, the struggling, the hopeful...the lost. We find beauty in poison, and we love the bitter taste."
The only mini struggle I had with this was that it was a tad lengthy read but overall, I was still blown away by this author's work. I'm definitely looking forward to read more from him and would recommend this book if you're looking for an emotionally gripping dark read that's gritty but still able to dish out a solid love story with a swoon-worthy hero!
The Lost is a standalone dark read in the Crow City series.
ARC kindly provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.
January 26, 2016
Wow! That was something else!
I'm quite shaken and impressed with this story, though I also had some issues with it. Will need some time before I decide on a rating and write a review.
I'm off the read the prequel, The Fallen, which gives us Gabriel Hart's story.
Here is the full review.
My first book by this author and I'm impressed with his writing and brave to tackle a very dark topic. Before I start this review, a few words of caution. This is a very dark read despite the HEA. It's triggery for a lot of things and though I recommend reading it, still you need to take heed of all the aujtor's warnings at the beginning.
I loved how rich and evocative the writing is despite the rather bleak and desparate tone of the story. I rarely have a clear vision of the characters I'm reading about but here, Mr. McCade described them all in such a vivid way that I had a picture of them in my mind almost from the very beginning. Crow City was also strongly prensent in this story, not just a background to the events, but a force that shapes the characters in many ways. The whole story read very much like a movie too, with richly drawn atmosphere and very, very strong actors' play.
The whole story is told from Leigh's POV of view and being in her head was quite an adventure. There is some going back and forth in time but all the events are told as if happening now, right before our eyes and that made them even more disturbing. The abuse was really graphically presented and I admit that a particular scene was too much for me and I had the skim over some of it.
The suspense plot is also well drawn and some twists and secrets kept me guessing to the end.
I have to admit I have mix feelings about both Leigh and Gabriel. I don't think either of them is the good character in this story. On the surface he is like the knight in shining armour, albeit a little broken himself, who saves the little lost princess. In really neither of them is a princess or a noble knight. They are two people who have both suffered terrible things which have marked and changed them forever.
Some things in Leigh's character remained a mystery for me and I'm not sure how they fit with her character. I don't really know if it's author's failure to convince me they are an intrinsic part of her nature or it's my own inability to make sense of them but I really felt ambiguous about her at times. I liked her and sympathised with her but I also couldn't fully understand some of her decisions and actions.
Same goes for Gabriel. We see less of him and only from Leigh's perspective and I liked a lot about him but some of his actions also seemed questionable to me and left me feeling unsettled.
I have some other minor quibbles - there were repetitions and I have a major objection to a particular plot point involving Leigh and her son. Still, there are a lot of strong points in this story and despite or rather because of its difficult subject matter, I think it's a worthy read.
There is a lot of violence and abuse and emotional and physical hurt in this story but they are explored in depth without being romanticised or glorified. This book is not perfect, yet it's brave and real and made me think a lot of thoughts for days after I finished it. And that is not something I can say of many of the romances I read!
I'm quite shaken and impressed with this story, though I also had some issues with it. Will need some time before I decide on a rating and write a review.
I'm off the read the prequel, The Fallen, which gives us Gabriel Hart's story.
Here is the full review.
My first book by this author and I'm impressed with his writing and brave to tackle a very dark topic. Before I start this review, a few words of caution. This is a very dark read despite the HEA. It's triggery for a lot of things and though I recommend reading it, still you need to take heed of all the aujtor's warnings at the beginning.
I loved how rich and evocative the writing is despite the rather bleak and desparate tone of the story. I rarely have a clear vision of the characters I'm reading about but here, Mr. McCade described them all in such a vivid way that I had a picture of them in my mind almost from the very beginning. Crow City was also strongly prensent in this story, not just a background to the events, but a force that shapes the characters in many ways. The whole story read very much like a movie too, with richly drawn atmosphere and very, very strong actors' play.
The whole story is told from Leigh's POV of view and being in her head was quite an adventure. There is some going back and forth in time but all the events are told as if happening now, right before our eyes and that made them even more disturbing. The abuse was really graphically presented and I admit that a particular scene was too much for me and I had the skim over some of it.
The suspense plot is also well drawn and some twists and secrets kept me guessing to the end.
I have to admit I have mix feelings about both Leigh and Gabriel. I don't think either of them is the good character in this story. On the surface he is like the knight in shining armour, albeit a little broken himself, who saves the little lost princess. In really neither of them is a princess or a noble knight. They are two people who have both suffered terrible things which have marked and changed them forever.
Some things in Leigh's character remained a mystery for me and I'm not sure how they fit with her character. I don't really know if it's author's failure to convince me they are an intrinsic part of her nature or it's my own inability to make sense of them but I really felt ambiguous about her at times. I liked her and sympathised with her but I also couldn't fully understand some of her decisions and actions.
Same goes for Gabriel. We see less of him and only from Leigh's perspective and I liked a lot about him but some of his actions also seemed questionable to me and left me feeling unsettled.
I have some other minor quibbles - there were repetitions and I have a major objection to a particular plot point involving Leigh and her son. Still, there are a lot of strong points in this story and despite or rather because of its difficult subject matter, I think it's a worthy read.
There is a lot of violence and abuse and emotional and physical hurt in this story but they are explored in depth without being romanticised or glorified. This book is not perfect, yet it's brave and real and made me think a lot of thoughts for days after I finished it. And that is not something I can say of many of the romances I read!
December 28, 2015
This starts with a prologue that immediately sucks you in--Leigh, in police headquarters, giving just enough of her story to make you want more. Even at the beginning of Chapter 1, I was still hooked and thinking it was going to be a fantastic ride, a dark erotic story as promised in the blurb. It was at about 10% that I started to lose interest.
Let me say, first, that Cole McCade is a fantastically gifted author. His imagery is both emotive and beautifully poetic. The problem is... there's just so much of it.
For example:
"...her boots clomped heavier, echoing hollow in the space below the planks, bouncing off the black slow gleam of the river waves."
Translation: Her boots were loud.
The entire book was written like this--everything described in three ways when one would suffice, and I found it painfully verbose.
"...her tongue twisted up in knots when she'd been using her tongue as a whiplash weapon for years. The martial art of words, self-defense in spitfire venom rolling off her lips. She didn't know what to do, when she needed words that didn't taste like poison and rot and the iced sugar glaze of protective cruelty. She'd think she didn't know how to be kind anymore, but that would imply she'd ever known at all. So she said nothing."
Translation: She was tongue-tied.
Is is beautiful? Yes. But it's 380+ pages of this.
As I mentioned before, the prologue sucked me in, and I wanted to know what happened. Unfortunately, you have to wait until you're 75% into the book before anything of consequence happens in the plot. From here, things happen rather quickly, but it was a slow and arduous journey to get there.
There were inconsistencies in the story I didn't understand as well , and I found that these small inconsistencies were all the more glaring because they all happened in the last quarter of the book.
In the end, I feel like this could have been a fantastic story, written by an incredibly gifted author... it just needs to be cut to 100 pages or so.
Let me say, first, that Cole McCade is a fantastically gifted author. His imagery is both emotive and beautifully poetic. The problem is... there's just so much of it.
For example:
"...her boots clomped heavier, echoing hollow in the space below the planks, bouncing off the black slow gleam of the river waves."
Translation: Her boots were loud.
The entire book was written like this--everything described in three ways when one would suffice, and I found it painfully verbose.
"...her tongue twisted up in knots when she'd been using her tongue as a whiplash weapon for years. The martial art of words, self-defense in spitfire venom rolling off her lips. She didn't know what to do, when she needed words that didn't taste like poison and rot and the iced sugar glaze of protective cruelty. She'd think she didn't know how to be kind anymore, but that would imply she'd ever known at all. So she said nothing."
Translation: She was tongue-tied.
Is is beautiful? Yes. But it's 380+ pages of this.
As I mentioned before, the prologue sucked me in, and I wanted to know what happened. Unfortunately, you have to wait until you're 75% into the book before anything of consequence happens in the plot. From here, things happen rather quickly, but it was a slow and arduous journey to get there.
There were inconsistencies in the story I didn't understand as well , and I found that these small inconsistencies were all the more glaring because they all happened in the last quarter of the book.
In the end, I feel like this could have been a fantastic story, written by an incredibly gifted author... it just needs to be cut to 100 pages or so.
September 20, 2015
I have mixed feelings about this book. It certainly wasn't what I expected. It's dark, but it's more about topics that most of us tend to avoid.
I love the author's writing style. He writes assuming all of the readers are intelligent and knowledgeable enough to grasp all of the references. It's refreshing, like having an intelligent conversation over an after work beer with a peer. Its a pleasure.
Back to the story, it's great. The h is unique and original. She's feisty and never gives up. Her actions and reactions are those of a strong woman. One buffetted by the strong winds life sometimes blows at us, but strong despite of it. I admired her strength and independence.
Our hero is the strong, silent type, ex military war veteran. He also has his own set of personal demons to overcome.
The secondary characters in The Lost are so colourful, so real, that I felt like I met each one in person. I love a book with "a full cast", and this one had it.
This is a full length, stand alone novel. It is also the beginning of a series which will feature additional characters as well as revisit these original ones.
I wish I'd found Cole McCade's writing 10 years from now so that I'd have half a dozen or more of his books I could read back to back with no delay between publishing dates. Yes, he's that good an author.
I love the author's writing style. He writes assuming all of the readers are intelligent and knowledgeable enough to grasp all of the references. It's refreshing, like having an intelligent conversation over an after work beer with a peer. Its a pleasure.
Back to the story, it's great. The h is unique and original. She's feisty and never gives up. Her actions and reactions are those of a strong woman. One buffetted by the strong winds life sometimes blows at us, but strong despite of it. I admired her strength and independence.
Our hero is the strong, silent type, ex military war veteran. He also has his own set of personal demons to overcome.
The secondary characters in The Lost are so colourful, so real, that I felt like I met each one in person. I love a book with "a full cast", and this one had it.
This is a full length, stand alone novel. It is also the beginning of a series which will feature additional characters as well as revisit these original ones.
I wish I'd found Cole McCade's writing 10 years from now so that I'd have half a dozen or more of his books I could read back to back with no delay between publishing dates. Yes, he's that good an author.
September 7, 2016
The Lost and The Fallen Dual Book Review
“Do you think lost people recognize each other, when they meet?”
You know you’re reading something incredibly special and poignant when the second you’re away from this book your thoughts are straying back to it. You almost feel its emotional burden on your shoulders, mind and heart despite being parted. To call this a collection of pages purely with printed words is a grave injustice; we don’t often come across a written story that affects us so severely and deeply as this series.
“It seems like life is all about sacrificing one kind of happiness for another.”
The Lost is profoundly dark and harrowing as it deals with issues in life which are tragically real for many women, and men. Whilst saying that, the way in which this Author writes it not only highlights these issues and distressing subject matters, but also inspires and empowers.
‘One night, the universe saw its own reflection and fell in love.’
We have to say that it’s – without question – necessary to read Cole McCade’s warning and afterword. It makes us think that this man is otherworldly, somehow he’s viewed the world from afar to get a perspective that once read resonates deeply, makes you think and makes you realise that judgement in any way is dangerous. As an outsider looking in you get the surface, you do not see the depth and what’s contained within it. Who are we to measure someone else’s feeling up against our own when we can’t judge how hurt, confused or desperate another individual is.
“Do you want to die, Gabriel?”
“No. I just want that moment when the choice to live or die isn’t my responsibility. Not my life, or anyone else’s. More than anything, I want a reason to keep living.”
Cole McCade’s writing has absolutely blown us away. BLOWN US AWAY! This is a new Author to us and to say his writing is flawlessly beautiful is an understatement. It’s so exquisite; painting a vivid colourful imagery that grabs your heart and demands you to see and feel. To take heed of every word until every emotion has been laid out in front of you for naked scrutiny. Hatred, disgust, compassion, sorrow, understanding and ultimately a love that grows from recognition.
“Perfect is hard and cold. Perfect is…complacence and numb acceptance and loveless apathy. There’s nothing good in that. Nothing good in not being weak enough to feel the loss of things that matter.”
At times it’s so raw that you literally feel like you have someone else’s blood on your hands seeping from the pages. It is that evocative and all encompassing. The characters were laid out bare, with the elements of societal restrictions, classes and judgement painted across their bodies, marking them, ready for judgement. Relatable aspects found in all.
‘God, he was pure gunmetal, and right now he moved like the safety was off, the trigger cocked, ready to fire.’
Leigh, our heroine, and we use this word with purpose and conviction as is written, is lost. A woman merely existing in a world under the influence of others, as she tries to break free having to face a bitter past, her behaviour, her now and her future- it’s sadly as if decided by others. We all want to be seen or noticed in some way. We all need or want to be loved and accepted. We all have to learn who we are and learn how to respect and love ourselves. Be allowed to just be who we truly are whilst still trying to figure out just who that is, our place that makes us happy or happier. Underneath weighted expectations and societal standings is a woman who desires to fly. To feel free without judgement, guilt and reproach.
‘She loved the weightless feeling of life in freefall, tumbling flight with no ground in sight. It was only when the world came rushing up at her that the fall turned terrifying, and gravity dug its fingers deep into her soul.’
Gabriel, our perplexing hero, an ex-marine who’s broken, standing on the edge of a praecipe undecided on succumbing or letting go. There’s an orchestrated push where ‘broken’ meets ‘desperately trying to heal and overcome’. The mechanisms and tools so different, their stories world’s apart but at the same time a similar path is tread. In The Fallen which should be read after The Lost in our opinion, we learn of who Gabriel is, his burdened guilt, his exhaustion and loneliness.
‘The rifle had become an extra limb, its presence so ingrained that giving it up had felt like amputation.’
Gabriel and Leigh understand and see in each other the desperation, the need, the craving for acceptance and understanding. Of needs that may seem unthinkable – taboo to some – and yes, again, we must stress that reading Cole McCade’s warning is of utmost importance.
‘He followed those stars one to another to another, counting them as he once had with a fingertip tracing one line to the next, then let his hand fall to rest on his stomach and pillowed his head on his arm.’ “I don’t know if you’re here or not.”
If you then decide to go and experience this dark graphic kaleidoscope of feelings and behavioural emotive led actions stemming from the deepest of betrayals and out of our control situations; then you will quite simply experience something beautiful in all its ugliness. Something incredible scattered with moments of brightness. Something intense, passionate and raw. Something so distressing we’re reminded that this is the path for people that live and breathe alongside us.
“None of us are black and white. Not one of us, even if that’s how we try to see the world. We’ve all done good things, and all done bad. We’ve all hurt someone else, or been hurt. We’ve lied. We’ve broken promises. We’ve kept promises, too. But there’s no such thing as a villain. No such thing as a hero, either. There’s only us.”
The Crow City Series is available to purchase
➜THE LOST BOOK 1
Amazon US
Amazon UK
➜THE FALLEN BOOK #1.5
Amazon US
Amazon UK
➜THE FOUND BOOK 2
Amazon US
Amazon UK
Come visit and follow us at:
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✲ TB on Facebook
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March 2, 2018
This book contains a
TRIGGER WARNING!
, so please make sure you READ IT, as this book may not be for you.
Quote from Picture of Dorian Gray:
"You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."
Leigh: I want that to be me. I want that to be my legacy. A lifetime of all the sins I've ever wished for, and the courage to follow through.
Yeah........I'm not even sure what to say about this book. My very first read by Cole McCade and I'll definitely be reading more by this author cause his words are hypnotizing!!!
This is a HEAVY read; there is some distrubing content relayed in flashbacks, and I can only say Thank you to Mr. McCade for placing the warning right on page one.
Oh, and I just wanted to say that I f'n LOVE the cover of this book; it's pure perfection!!!
Final honest rating: 4.5 stars
For more Reviews, Free E-books and Giveaways
Quote from Picture of Dorian Gray:
"You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."
Leigh: I want that to be me. I want that to be my legacy. A lifetime of all the sins I've ever wished for, and the courage to follow through.
Yeah........I'm not even sure what to say about this book. My very first read by Cole McCade and I'll definitely be reading more by this author cause his words are hypnotizing!!!
This is a HEAVY read; there is some distrubing content relayed in flashbacks, and I can only say Thank you to Mr. McCade for placing the warning right on page one.
Oh, and I just wanted to say that I f'n LOVE the cover of this book; it's pure perfection!!!
Final honest rating: 4.5 stars
For more Reviews, Free E-books and Giveaways
September 24, 2015
I've just finished this book and I'm sitting here thinking wow. The emotions and the feels I got while reading this is amazing.
Ok firstly your not getting anything from me about the storyline. I didn't even read the synopsis of this book before jumping in. I had a feeling I'd get emotionally tangled in this story and I was right.
I wouldn't say this book is dark I'd rather say it's a heavy read. It certainly wasn't a one sitting read for me. It's a heart wrenching emotional read about two lost souls.
Told in the present with flashbacks of Leigh's life we feel her pain.
I loved Gabriel. His pet name for Leigh was fabulous. I was so rooting for them to find happiness. It's certainly a roller coaster of a story.
The author did a great job of portraying these characters as real. The storyline was so unpredictable with twists that will have you gasping.
Please read the warning at the front of this book. There are triggers in this story. Abuse, rape and PTSD.
Beautiful, sexy and emotional read. Certainly a re-read for me. Looking forward to reading more from this author. Oh I must add I adore the cover. I normally don't bother with covers but this one is amazing.
Ok firstly your not getting anything from me about the storyline. I didn't even read the synopsis of this book before jumping in. I had a feeling I'd get emotionally tangled in this story and I was right.
I wouldn't say this book is dark I'd rather say it's a heavy read. It certainly wasn't a one sitting read for me. It's a heart wrenching emotional read about two lost souls.
Told in the present with flashbacks of Leigh's life we feel her pain.
I loved Gabriel. His pet name for Leigh was fabulous. I was so rooting for them to find happiness. It's certainly a roller coaster of a story.
The author did a great job of portraying these characters as real. The storyline was so unpredictable with twists that will have you gasping.
Please read the warning at the front of this book. There are triggers in this story. Abuse, rape and PTSD.
Beautiful, sexy and emotional read. Certainly a re-read for me. Looking forward to reading more from this author. Oh I must add I adore the cover. I normally don't bother with covers but this one is amazing.
December 19, 2017
Another one bites the dust.... DNF at 32%
It took me 4 days to read 32%, I paced whole afternoon what to do with this book. What can I say..... the story is interesting and now I am wondering what happens with Leigh at the end, because I liked her very much. There is some depth I felt in her character and story and I am sorry to not see the end.
The only reason for DNF is writing style. English is not my mother language and it was really hard to understand what I was reading. I re-read almost each sentence at least twice and I was soooo focused on meaning, that I coudn't be focused on story too. There is a lot of metaphors and detailed explanation about everything and I mean everything!
It took me 4 days to read 32%, I paced whole afternoon what to do with this book. What can I say..... the story is interesting and now I am wondering what happens with Leigh at the end, because I liked her very much. There is some depth I felt in her character and story and I am sorry to not see the end.
The only reason for DNF is writing style. English is not my mother language and it was really hard to understand what I was reading. I re-read almost each sentence at least twice and I was soooo focused on meaning, that I coudn't be focused on story too. There is a lot of metaphors and detailed explanation about everything and I mean everything!
May 14, 2016
This was such a hard book for me to rate and I'm still not 100% sure that I've gotten it right for how I felt. Haha.
This is a story about a young woman called Leigh who has had people control her and make her decisions for as long as she can remember. She's been told that she just has to look pretty, keep her mouth shut, do as her husband says, give him what he wants and pretend to be happy, even if she's not.
She's been completely suffocated and uses her extremely high sex drive to rebel against those who want to keep her caged.
The men she has chosen to sleep with have caused her some serious damage, and when her husband cheats on her after her doing everything she's been told to do to keep him happy, she snaps! She leaves him and her son behind, running away to find out who she really is, without anyone manipulating her...
It's in these lonely years that Leigh meets Gabriel Hart. Gabriel has lost everyone he's ever loved. His time in the Marine's has left Gabriel a broken man, full of pain. His overwhelming pain has led him to a life of addiction and he was starting to lose faith that there was any point to his life at all. Until Leigh.
Are they perfect together? No, not really. With the issues that plague them both, they could tear each other apart, but somehow they work. This is a story about how two damaged people who hold each other together and show each other what life is supposed to be like, when someone loves you deeply, knows all of your sins and loves you still.
This book is definitely dark and gritty, so please take the author warning seriously. There's rape, abuse, incest, violence and drug addiction. But on the other side of the coin there is hope. There is love and redemption.
I liked Gabriel's character and admired his fortitude. However, Leigh was much harder to connect with. I never seemed to agree with any one decision she made and it infuriated me. I wanted her to grow up and stop trying to run away from her own life.
Right to the very last page, I didn't like the decisions she made but I did warm up to her and I was super happy to get a HEA.
I won't go into any details because this book has to be experienced blindly. But I really enjoyed it!
Thanks for the recommendation Jen and for asking me to Buddy Read with you :D
This is a story about a young woman called Leigh who has had people control her and make her decisions for as long as she can remember. She's been told that she just has to look pretty, keep her mouth shut, do as her husband says, give him what he wants and pretend to be happy, even if she's not.
She's been completely suffocated and uses her extremely high sex drive to rebel against those who want to keep her caged.
The men she has chosen to sleep with have caused her some serious damage, and when her husband cheats on her after her doing everything she's been told to do to keep him happy, she snaps! She leaves him and her son behind, running away to find out who she really is, without anyone manipulating her...
It's in these lonely years that Leigh meets Gabriel Hart. Gabriel has lost everyone he's ever loved. His time in the Marine's has left Gabriel a broken man, full of pain. His overwhelming pain has led him to a life of addiction and he was starting to lose faith that there was any point to his life at all. Until Leigh.
Are they perfect together? No, not really. With the issues that plague them both, they could tear each other apart, but somehow they work. This is a story about how two damaged people who hold each other together and show each other what life is supposed to be like, when someone loves you deeply, knows all of your sins and loves you still.
This book is definitely dark and gritty, so please take the author warning seriously. There's rape, abuse, incest, violence and drug addiction. But on the other side of the coin there is hope. There is love and redemption.
I liked Gabriel's character and admired his fortitude. However, Leigh was much harder to connect with. I never seemed to agree with any one decision she made and it infuriated me. I wanted her to grow up and stop trying to run away from her own life.
Right to the very last page, I didn't like the decisions she made but I did warm up to her and I was super happy to get a HEA.
I won't go into any details because this book has to be experienced blindly. But I really enjoyed it!
Thanks for the recommendation Jen and for asking me to Buddy Read with you :D
September 8, 2015
"What do you really want, Leigh?"
Clarissa Leigh has desires, ones she cannot voice, as she is scared of the reaction of her husband, of her mother, of the society within which she has to endure everything with a smile. She keeps a mask to stifle everything she needs, she wants. She strives to be a good wife, but it just does not work. She fails as a mother, as a wife, and as a daughter, so she runs away, and that’s where the story begins.
Leigh decides not to get attached, to live day by day with only one aim, find the next man she will share a bed with for a night. For four years that plan worked just find, until she meets Gabriel, and that’s where her waking dream ends. He makes her realize that there are better possibilities for her, a better life, and she tries to fight her way toward it.
There novel was okay. It deals with issues hard to speak about, and it words them smoothly. Nevertheless, I don’t like that the whole novel was concentrating on Leigh
savor[ing] the feeling of her own wetness against her skin
But then again that’s what the novel is really about: how she is addicted to sex, and how she tries to think less with her desires in order to find a balance in her life and be able to take back her son and tae care of him appropriately.
The novel could do with some revision on her addiction through. The writing style was okayish except for the endless repetitions. But then again, the novel would have shrank considerably if these kind of sentences don’t come over and over again…
Clarissa Leigh has desires, ones she cannot voice, as she is scared of the reaction of her husband, of her mother, of the society within which she has to endure everything with a smile. She keeps a mask to stifle everything she needs, she wants. She strives to be a good wife, but it just does not work. She fails as a mother, as a wife, and as a daughter, so she runs away, and that’s where the story begins.
Leigh decides not to get attached, to live day by day with only one aim, find the next man she will share a bed with for a night. For four years that plan worked just find, until she meets Gabriel, and that’s where her waking dream ends. He makes her realize that there are better possibilities for her, a better life, and she tries to fight her way toward it.
There novel was okay. It deals with issues hard to speak about, and it words them smoothly. Nevertheless, I don’t like that the whole novel was concentrating on Leigh
savor[ing] the feeling of her own wetness against her skin
But then again that’s what the novel is really about: how she is addicted to sex, and how she tries to think less with her desires in order to find a balance in her life and be able to take back her son and tae care of him appropriately.
The novel could do with some revision on her addiction through. The writing style was okayish except for the endless repetitions. But then again, the novel would have shrank considerably if these kind of sentences don’t come over and over again…
October 4, 2015
A very descriptively and emotionally written story.
Two main characters Leigh and Gabriel each with their own troubled pasts come together through a friend Gary.
A beautiful story unfolds and we get flashbacks from Leighs life and how she became who she is and why she did what she did.
A sexy romantic erotic read at times but also hard and heavy with domestic abuse being the subject matter.
Two main characters Leigh and Gabriel each with their own troubled pasts come together through a friend Gary.
A beautiful story unfolds and we get flashbacks from Leighs life and how she became who she is and why she did what she did.
A sexy romantic erotic read at times but also hard and heavy with domestic abuse being the subject matter.
September 7, 2016
The Lost and The Fallen Dual Book Review
“Do you think lost people recognize each other, when they meet?”
You know you’re reading something incredibly special and poignant when the second you’re away from this book your thoughts are straying back to it. You almost feel its emotional burden on your shoulders, mind and heart despite being parted. To call this a collection of pages purely with printed words is a grave injustice; we don’t often come across a written story that affects us so severely and deeply as this series.
“It seems like life is all about sacrificing one kind of happiness for another.”
The Lost is profoundly dark and harrowing as it deals with issues in life which are tragically real for many women, and men. Whilst saying that, the way in which this Author writes it not only highlights these issues and distressing subject matters, but also inspires and empowers.
‘One night, the universe saw its own reflection and fell in love.’
We have to say that it’s – without question – necessary to read Cole McCade’s warning and afterword. It makes us think that this man is otherworldly, somehow he’s viewed the world from afar to get a perspective that once read resonates deeply, makes you think and makes you realise that judgement in any way is dangerous. As an outsider looking in you get the surface, you do not see the depth and what’s contained within it. Who are we to measure someone else’s feeling up against our own when we can’t judge how hurt, confused or desperate another individual is.
“Do you want to die, Gabriel?”
“No. I just want that moment when the choice to live or die isn’t my responsibility. Not my life, or anyone else’s. More than anything, I want a reason to keep living.”
Cole McCade’s writing has absolutely blown us away. BLOWN US AWAY! This is a new Author to us and to say his writing is flawlessly beautiful is an understatement. It’s so exquisite; painting a vivid colourful imagery that grabs your heart and demands you to see and feel. To take heed of every word until every emotion has been laid out in front of you for naked scrutiny. Hatred, disgust, compassion, sorrow, understanding and ultimately a love that grows from recognition.
“Perfect is hard and cold. Perfect is…complacence and numb acceptance and loveless apathy. There’s nothing good in that. Nothing good in not being weak enough to feel the loss of things that matter.”
At times it’s so raw that you literally feel like you have someone else’s blood on your hands seeping from the pages. It is that evocative and all encompassing. The characters were laid out bare, with the elements of societal restrictions, classes and judgement painted across their bodies, marking them, ready for judgement. Relatable aspects found in all.
‘God, he was pure gunmetal, and right now he moved like the safety was off, the trigger cocked, ready to fire.’
Leigh, our heroine, and we use this word with purpose and conviction as is written, is lost. A woman merely existing in a world under the influence of others, as she tries to break free having to face a bitter past, her behaviour, her now and her future- it’s sadly as if decided by others. We all want to be seen or noticed in some way. We all need or want to be loved and accepted. We all have to learn who we are and learn how to respect and love ourselves. Be allowed to just be who we truly are whilst still trying to figure out just who that is, our place that makes us happy or happier. Underneath weighted expectations and societal standings is a woman who desires to fly. To feel free without judgement, guilt and reproach.
‘She loved the weightless feeling of life in freefall, tumbling flight with no ground in sight. It was only when the world came rushing up at her that the fall turned terrifying, and gravity dug its fingers deep into her soul.’
Gabriel, our perplexing hero, an ex-marine who’s broken, standing on the edge of a praecipe undecided on succumbing or letting go. There’s an orchestrated push where ‘broken’ meets ‘desperately trying to heal and overcome’. The mechanisms and tools so different, their stories world’s apart but at the same time a similar path is tread. In The Fallen which should be read after The Lost in our opinion, we learn of who Gabriel is, his burdened guilt, his exhaustion and loneliness.
‘The rifle had become an extra limb, its presence so ingrained that giving it up had felt like amputation.’
Gabriel and Leigh understand and see in each other the desperation, the need, the craving for acceptance and understanding. Of needs that may seem unthinkable – taboo to some – and yes, again, we must stress that reading Cole McCade’s warning is of utmost importance.
‘He followed those stars one to another to another, counting them as he once had with a fingertip tracing one line to the next, then let his hand fall to rest on his stomach and pillowed his head on his arm.’ “I don’t know if you’re here or not.”
If you then decide to go and experience this dark graphic kaleidoscope of feelings and behavioural emotive led actions stemming from the deepest of betrayals and out of our control situations; then you will quite simply experience something beautiful in all its ugliness. Something incredible scattered with moments of brightness. Something intense, passionate and raw. Something so distressing we’re reminded that this is the path for people that live and breathe alongside us.
“None of us are black and white. Not one of us, even if that’s how we try to see the world. We’ve all done good things, and all done bad. We’ve all hurt someone else, or been hurt. We’ve lied. We’ve broken promises. We’ve kept promises, too. But there’s no such thing as a villain. No such thing as a hero, either. There’s only us.”
THE LOST Available to purchase
Amazon US
Amazon UK
THE FALLEN Available to purchase
Amazon US
Amazon UK
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June 16, 2016
Ce livre m'est tombé dessus complètement par hasard, ce n'est vraiment pas le genre de lecture dans lequel je me serais lancée par moi-même. Le résumé, la couverture :pale:, les multiples avertissements ...
Et finalement ...
The Lost, c'est la douloureuse histoire de Leigh, fleur fragile errant dans les bas-fonds de Crow City, ville imaginaire des US. On sait qu'elle a fui quelque chose, et il faudra parcourir de nombreux chapitres avant de rassembler toutes les pièces du puzzle. Leigh est une âme brisée, elle ne vit pas dans le même monde que vous et moi.
Leigh n'a rien d'une héroine typique de romance, on est ici dans du dark erotica, un genre complètement inédit pour moi. Elle a traversé des choses très dures, en traverse encore. Il ne faut pas passer à côté de la préface, les quelques mots que Cole McCade adresse au lecteur, des mots suffisamment forts pour nous faire comprendre que rien ne sera joli ici, que le lecteur va être heurté, peut-être même blessé par certains faits.
Ce livre c'est le récit d'une errance, d'une course sans fin. Leigh est incapable de se fixer, de faire confiance. Ni pour vivre sous son propre toit, ni pour avoir un travail. Elle m'a fait penser à un animal sauvage, ce qui rejoint bien une des citations que j'ai mises plus haut.
Les personnes qu'elle rencontre et côtoie ici sont au moins aussi brisées qu'elle, pour différentes raisons, que là encore, on découvre peu à peu.
Le héros porte un prénom chargé de sens (Gabriel), mais son nom l'est, à mon sens, tout autant (Hart). Gabriel est un personnage sombre, brisé, typiquement le personnage dont je raffole d'habitude. Mais ici, l'auteur dynamite les codes habituels (peut-être parce que c'est un homme ?) et en fait un anti-héros, vraiment sombre, qui ne lâche rien, jamais (ou presque).
Il y a bien une histoire d'amour ici, mais elle est tellement éloignée de nos codes habituels que je ne suis pas sûre qu'on peut parler de romance. Pas de rose bonbon ici, pas de bonheur béat. Une journée de plus de passée, c'est un combat de plus de mené, c'est un cercle sans fin, une fuite en avant. Leigh et Gabriel sont semblables, tous les deux appartiennent ce monde "underground" dans lequel se passe ce livre, comme Maxi, comme Wally, comme Gary.
The Lost est un livre que j'ai lu quasiment d'une traite, j'ai été happée par cette histoire. Effectivement, de nombreux passages sont difficiles à lire, brutaux, violents, ce n'est pas le genre de lecture qui nous colle un sourire béat et des papillons dans le ventre, bien au contraire. On se demande comment ça va se terminer, on ne peut avoir aucune certitude quant à l'issue de ce livre, du devenir des personnages.
J'ai vraiment aimé la plume de l'auteur, dure, mais belle. Des mots percutants, des phrases poétiques dans leur noirceur, un vrai style que je prendrai plaisir à retrouver dans ses autres livres.
Et finalement ...
The Lost, c'est la douloureuse histoire de Leigh, fleur fragile errant dans les bas-fonds de Crow City, ville imaginaire des US. On sait qu'elle a fui quelque chose, et il faudra parcourir de nombreux chapitres avant de rassembler toutes les pièces du puzzle. Leigh est une âme brisée, elle ne vit pas dans le même monde que vous et moi.
"Ghosts aren't supposed to cast a shadow", she said.
"Is that how you are ?"
"That's how I live. Somewhere between the world of living and the world of dead."
"Every night I'm a
different animal.
But I'll always be a
beast."
Leigh n'a rien d'une héroine typique de romance, on est ici dans du dark erotica, un genre complètement inédit pour moi. Elle a traversé des choses très dures, en traverse encore. Il ne faut pas passer à côté de la préface, les quelques mots que Cole McCade adresse au lecteur, des mots suffisamment forts pour nous faire comprendre que rien ne sera joli ici, que le lecteur va être heurté, peut-être même blessé par certains faits.
Ce livre c'est le récit d'une errance, d'une course sans fin. Leigh est incapable de se fixer, de faire confiance. Ni pour vivre sous son propre toit, ni pour avoir un travail. Elle m'a fait penser à un animal sauvage, ce qui rejoint bien une des citations que j'ai mises plus haut.
Les personnes qu'elle rencontre et côtoie ici sont au moins aussi brisées qu'elle, pour différentes raisons, que là encore, on découvre peu à peu.
Le héros porte un prénom chargé de sens (Gabriel), mais son nom l'est, à mon sens, tout autant (Hart). Gabriel est un personnage sombre, brisé, typiquement le personnage dont je raffole d'habitude. Mais ici, l'auteur dynamite les codes habituels (peut-être parce que c'est un homme ?) et en fait un anti-héros, vraiment sombre, qui ne lâche rien, jamais (ou presque).
Il y a bien une histoire d'amour ici, mais elle est tellement éloignée de nos codes habituels que je ne suis pas sûre qu'on peut parler de romance. Pas de rose bonbon ici, pas de bonheur béat. Une journée de plus de passée, c'est un combat de plus de mené, c'est un cercle sans fin, une fuite en avant. Leigh et Gabriel sont semblables, tous les deux appartiennent ce monde "underground" dans lequel se passe ce livre, comme Maxi, comme Wally, comme Gary.
"The wounded, the broken, the struggling, the hopeful ... the lost. We find beauty in poison, and we love the bitter taste."
The Lost est un livre que j'ai lu quasiment d'une traite, j'ai été happée par cette histoire. Effectivement, de nombreux passages sont difficiles à lire, brutaux, violents, ce n'est pas le genre de lecture qui nous colle un sourire béat et des papillons dans le ventre, bien au contraire. On se demande comment ça va se terminer, on ne peut avoir aucune certitude quant à l'issue de ce livre, du devenir des personnages.
"Maybe we are lost, and some of us just don't want to be found."
J'ai vraiment aimé la plume de l'auteur, dure, mais belle. Des mots percutants, des phrases poétiques dans leur noirceur, un vrai style que je prendrai plaisir à retrouver dans ses autres livres.
August 29, 2016
If you read nothing else I recommend, read this!
This is one of the most beautifully written books that I have read in years! Yes, I said years! It is relevant, thought provoking, ugly, wonderful, sad, hopeful and necessary! It's a book all women and even men should read. To one degree or another, Leigh's story is your story. You may not have walked the same walk as Leigh but you will hear the echoes of her boots somewhere in your life. I'm in utter awe of Cole McCade's words. They have touched me deeply and made me question so many things about myself and the world I live in.
This is one of the most beautifully written books that I have read in years! Yes, I said years! It is relevant, thought provoking, ugly, wonderful, sad, hopeful and necessary! It's a book all women and even men should read. To one degree or another, Leigh's story is your story. You may not have walked the same walk as Leigh but you will hear the echoes of her boots somewhere in your life. I'm in utter awe of Cole McCade's words. They have touched me deeply and made me question so many things about myself and the world I live in.
April 18, 2016
5 Dirty Girl Stars!
This one comes with a warning that you should read and take very seriously before you go further. It was not an easy read and I love them dark!
I loved this book! I was up all night reading it. It was so good. I'm not usually a fan of male authors when it comes to my romance books but this one worked for me! His writing grabbed me and made me feel every single thing that was on these pages!
Leigh is lost. She has everything but nothing she really wants. She's always been looked at but nobody ever sees her. When she's 18 one man sees her or does he?
During college Leigh catches the eye of someone her mother deems perfect for her. Leigh is married to that man now and the only thing good that came out of her marriage is their son. Leigh catches her husband with the nanny and pretty much loses it. She's not sure what's wrong with her because she didn't love him anyway. She doesn't think she is good enough to be around her son so she runs.
Leigh's been on the street for 4 years. She has nothing but what's in her backpack. She goes home with random men every night.
Until one night she says no but her random guy won't listen. Enter Gabriel. He offers to take Leigh home. When Leigh tells him she doesn't have one he takes her back to his place. Gabriel had that asshole vibe going on. You could tell that he was fighting some demons himself. I loved him! He was super duper sexy!
He scared Leigh! He made her want to run and start over some where else.
“I promise you, little mouse,” he breathed, “there’s not an ounce of kindness left in me.”~Gabriel
She didn't want to let anyone in. She didn't want to feel. She didn't want to corrupt anyone else with her dirtiness inside her.
Hated that she needed anyone, that she wasn’t enough for herself and God, that was half her fucking problem. She had this hole inside that she kept trying to fill with other people, when she couldn’t just be okay alone. Be okay with herself, before she made a mess of anything with anyone else. And she hated him for being right about that.~Leigh
But Gabriel wouldn't let up. He wanted Leigh. He wasn't going to be a random guy she had sex with. He could see all of her.
When he’d kissed her she’d felt like a woman again, a woman wild in everything that meant to be, full of that fire that frightened her with its destructive power and lifted her up so high she felt like she could fly.~Leigh
These two were so broken. I loved how they were slowly healing each other.
My feelings were all over the place when it came to Gabriel and Leigh. Did I feel like Leigh could of done something different? Yes. But I get why she was like she was. Her childhood was messed up.
Did I have a problem with the ending? Yes I did. I wanted more!! I hate it when we don't get an epilogue and the ending felt abrupt to me. But I loved this so hard I decided to keep my rating a 5!
I'll be trying more books by this author for sure! Loved this one! Thanks so much for the rec Shanny:))
“You see people on the street corners and in the gutters, and you wonder what happened to them—how they ended up that way, how they got so lost. But no one ever thinks that some people…some people want to stay lost.”
This one comes with a warning that you should read and take very seriously before you go further. It was not an easy read and I love them dark!
I loved this book! I was up all night reading it. It was so good. I'm not usually a fan of male authors when it comes to my romance books but this one worked for me! His writing grabbed me and made me feel every single thing that was on these pages!
Leigh is lost. She has everything but nothing she really wants. She's always been looked at but nobody ever sees her. When she's 18 one man sees her or does he?
During college Leigh catches the eye of someone her mother deems perfect for her. Leigh is married to that man now and the only thing good that came out of her marriage is their son. Leigh catches her husband with the nanny and pretty much loses it. She's not sure what's wrong with her because she didn't love him anyway. She doesn't think she is good enough to be around her son so she runs.
Leigh's been on the street for 4 years. She has nothing but what's in her backpack. She goes home with random men every night.
Until one night she says no but her random guy won't listen. Enter Gabriel. He offers to take Leigh home. When Leigh tells him she doesn't have one he takes her back to his place. Gabriel had that asshole vibe going on. You could tell that he was fighting some demons himself. I loved him! He was super duper sexy!
He scared Leigh! He made her want to run and start over some where else.
“I promise you, little mouse,” he breathed, “there’s not an ounce of kindness left in me.”~Gabriel
She didn't want to let anyone in. She didn't want to feel. She didn't want to corrupt anyone else with her dirtiness inside her.
Hated that she needed anyone, that she wasn’t enough for herself and God, that was half her fucking problem. She had this hole inside that she kept trying to fill with other people, when she couldn’t just be okay alone. Be okay with herself, before she made a mess of anything with anyone else. And she hated him for being right about that.~Leigh
But Gabriel wouldn't let up. He wanted Leigh. He wasn't going to be a random guy she had sex with. He could see all of her.
When he’d kissed her she’d felt like a woman again, a woman wild in everything that meant to be, full of that fire that frightened her with its destructive power and lifted her up so high she felt like she could fly.~Leigh
These two were so broken. I loved how they were slowly healing each other.
My feelings were all over the place when it came to Gabriel and Leigh. Did I feel like Leigh could of done something different? Yes. But I get why she was like she was. Her childhood was messed up.
Did I have a problem with the ending? Yes I did. I wanted more!! I hate it when we don't get an epilogue and the ending felt abrupt to me. But I loved this so hard I decided to keep my rating a 5!
I'll be trying more books by this author for sure! Loved this one! Thanks so much for the rec Shanny:))
“You see people on the street corners and in the gutters, and you wonder what happened to them—how they ended up that way, how they got so lost. But no one ever thinks that some people…some people want to stay lost.”
September 7, 2015
4 Stars
ARC kindly provided by the author, in exchange for an honest review.
My reviews are always based upon the question if i liked it or not?. It's normally a simple review designed to attract people to a certain book. But sometimes... on a rare occasion a book speaks volume enough to forgo the usual crap consumed within a normal review, because it isn't a normal book.
These reviews are normally the most difficult to write, because i end up having so many thoughts and so much emotion. They end up smashing together and become a jumble so that i can't figure out to put them all into words. That's the beauty of a mesmerising book, it leaves you utterly speechless but you're mind running wild.
The lost, stunned me speechless and left my mind tumbling. It's a dark and uncomfortable read, enough so that the author included trigger warnings. It was so much more than just a story, it was a story with tragic life events that occur ever day. It became so much more, because even though it is a fictional story, with fictional characters... it wasn't.
The subjects and situations used as inspiration for his story are so very real. Even within a story, it wasn't sugar coated. it was highlighted, detailed and provided us with shuttering visuals. The author didn't just write about the positives or life, of the negatives. He combined both and found beauty.
"I wanted to be the hero of my own story. Not the damsel."
This character-driven novel focuses on few but very impacting individuals, one of those mainly being Leigh. She's different. She's damaged and in a way she's selfish whilst also being selfless if that's hard to believe. But most of all, Leigh is sexual.
She's a predator whilst being prey. Each night she finds a new faceless man who she hopes can fill a need inside of her, which can never be filled. Despite each and every time being unsuccessful, she never gives up. She craves that sexual need to be fulfilled, she's addicted.
"So you think lost people recognize eachother, when they meet?"
Essentially, Leigh is a broken little girl lost. Gabriel Hart is also broken and lost. He's a war veteran that is haunted with demon's, he's broken in his mind as well as physically. When these two lost souls met, Leigh just see's another person who could sedate her need. But... Gabriel see's right threw Leigh, he makes it clear he inst the type of man who Leigh can use. He's the controller and Leigh is rejected. A feeling she hasn't felt recently, but is familiar with the thoughts rejection creates.
"I walked out and got lost and never tried to be found."
Gabriel and Leigh who are both lost, managed to find beauty in a dark world together. Gabriel managed to understand Leigh's limits before even she did, he guided and lead her way, whilst she discovered herself.
I found myself not reading on to find out what was next in the story for these characters but, instead wanting to discover the mystery that is Leigh. Leigh is lost because she chose to be lost, but we always have reasons for our choices. Never have i felt as much of a need to go back in a characters life rather than forward. I needed answers to how she became the person she is and why she did the actions she did. I wanted to understand her.
Cole McCade Enabled me to do this with the use of flashbacks within the story. Many times than i'd like in most books, i end up growing tired of flashbacks. I get too impatient as i end up wanting to progress with the present. I was presently surprised to find myself craving the rare amount of flashbacks the author provided, i often found myself lost within a flashback and forgot it was actually one. I was captivated in both the past and present of the entire story, and i think that in it's self shows how the author managed to attach me to his story and his characters.
Overall i had an amazing opportunity to advance read such a truly remarkable story, written my a talented author. For that i am grateful and encourage all of you readers who can handle the dark elements of this novel to therefore, take a chance on this book and this author and discover the beauty that i found.
"Maybe she doesn't fly... but she won't stay tied to earth, either"
ARC kindly provided by the author, in exchange for an honest review.
My reviews are always based upon the question if i liked it or not?. It's normally a simple review designed to attract people to a certain book. But sometimes... on a rare occasion a book speaks volume enough to forgo the usual crap consumed within a normal review, because it isn't a normal book.
These reviews are normally the most difficult to write, because i end up having so many thoughts and so much emotion. They end up smashing together and become a jumble so that i can't figure out to put them all into words. That's the beauty of a mesmerising book, it leaves you utterly speechless but you're mind running wild.
The lost, stunned me speechless and left my mind tumbling. It's a dark and uncomfortable read, enough so that the author included trigger warnings. It was so much more than just a story, it was a story with tragic life events that occur ever day. It became so much more, because even though it is a fictional story, with fictional characters... it wasn't.
The subjects and situations used as inspiration for his story are so very real. Even within a story, it wasn't sugar coated. it was highlighted, detailed and provided us with shuttering visuals. The author didn't just write about the positives or life, of the negatives. He combined both and found beauty.
"I wanted to be the hero of my own story. Not the damsel."
This character-driven novel focuses on few but very impacting individuals, one of those mainly being Leigh. She's different. She's damaged and in a way she's selfish whilst also being selfless if that's hard to believe. But most of all, Leigh is sexual.
She's a predator whilst being prey. Each night she finds a new faceless man who she hopes can fill a need inside of her, which can never be filled. Despite each and every time being unsuccessful, she never gives up. She craves that sexual need to be fulfilled, she's addicted.
"So you think lost people recognize eachother, when they meet?"
Essentially, Leigh is a broken little girl lost. Gabriel Hart is also broken and lost. He's a war veteran that is haunted with demon's, he's broken in his mind as well as physically. When these two lost souls met, Leigh just see's another person who could sedate her need. But... Gabriel see's right threw Leigh, he makes it clear he inst the type of man who Leigh can use. He's the controller and Leigh is rejected. A feeling she hasn't felt recently, but is familiar with the thoughts rejection creates.
"I walked out and got lost and never tried to be found."
Gabriel and Leigh who are both lost, managed to find beauty in a dark world together. Gabriel managed to understand Leigh's limits before even she did, he guided and lead her way, whilst she discovered herself.
I found myself not reading on to find out what was next in the story for these characters but, instead wanting to discover the mystery that is Leigh. Leigh is lost because she chose to be lost, but we always have reasons for our choices. Never have i felt as much of a need to go back in a characters life rather than forward. I needed answers to how she became the person she is and why she did the actions she did. I wanted to understand her.
Cole McCade Enabled me to do this with the use of flashbacks within the story. Many times than i'd like in most books, i end up growing tired of flashbacks. I get too impatient as i end up wanting to progress with the present. I was presently surprised to find myself craving the rare amount of flashbacks the author provided, i often found myself lost within a flashback and forgot it was actually one. I was captivated in both the past and present of the entire story, and i think that in it's self shows how the author managed to attach me to his story and his characters.
Overall i had an amazing opportunity to advance read such a truly remarkable story, written my a talented author. For that i am grateful and encourage all of you readers who can handle the dark elements of this novel to therefore, take a chance on this book and this author and discover the beauty that i found.
"Maybe she doesn't fly... but she won't stay tied to earth, either"
September 15, 2015
4.5 stars
This is one of those books that I requested based on the cover alone. From the first moment I saw it, I thought the cover was creepy and sad, so obviously it got my attention. Having now read the story, it perfectly captures the theme of the story. This story is dark in that it is nearly devoid of light. It's heartbreaking and tragic, but in an odd way, I did not find it depressing.
There are flawed heroines, and then there is Leigh. The flawed heroine is a common theme in a book, but often, when the revelation is made about the person's flaws, I sometimes find myself scratching my head and thinking, "that's it?" But make no mistake, Leigh is flawed. Any sane person would look at her and questions her.
"You skitter and flinch and run away." His lips twitched. "This small thing living on the fringes, never wanting to be seen."
Leigh is also weak, yet I still liked her as a heroine. She's been handed a horrible deck with her life, raised under odd expectations and a lack of love. The little attention she is given, is for all the wrong reason. Which brings me to the elephant in the room. I-N-C-E-S-T! Yes, this book has it. It is not glossed over, but told in graphic detail. The moments together with her father, forever shape Leigh and her sexual needs. It's not until Gabriel that she seems those moments in a different light.
I didn't know what to think of Gabriel when he's introduced. He's a little bit mystery and a whole lot scary. Yet Gary, Leigh's only friend at the time, thinks she might be good for him. With time, I felt myself agreeing with that assessment. They are good for each other. But good and happy don't have a place in this story. Any brief moment of happiness seems to be stolen from Leigh in a flash.
What sets this book apart, other than the edgy storyline, would be the manner in which it is told. This author is a true wordsmith. The words are beautiful, raw and as my buddy reader, Rachel, mentioned, they have a lyrical quality. I often reread sentences, once to capture their meaning, and then again in appreciation. Here's just a sample of the author's talent:
To describe Gabriel: God, he was pure gunmetal, and right now he moved like the safety was off, the trigger cocked, ready to fire.
Leigh's describing her story for Gabriel:
"That moment was when she realized that every woman is a broken goddess. Every last one."
"Why broken?" Hart asked softly.
"Because we're all born in that cage, and we've been breaking our wings against the bars ever since"
With the dark and taboo subject matter, this book might not be for everyone. I'll admit, I was terrified after just reading the trigger warning at the front of the story. There are moments you will question the heroine, moments that are in such detail you feel them. And it's not usually a good feeling. Leigh is not your typically heroine. She's not shiny and beautiful, she is damaged inside and out. Most people around her make judgments and try to change her. Except one.
The ending felt a bit rushed to me, but I was thankfully there wasn't a cliffy. The deeply damaged souls deserve some happy in their lives.
*An ARC was received via NetGalley for an honest review.
This is one of those books that I requested based on the cover alone. From the first moment I saw it, I thought the cover was creepy and sad, so obviously it got my attention. Having now read the story, it perfectly captures the theme of the story. This story is dark in that it is nearly devoid of light. It's heartbreaking and tragic, but in an odd way, I did not find it depressing.
There are flawed heroines, and then there is Leigh. The flawed heroine is a common theme in a book, but often, when the revelation is made about the person's flaws, I sometimes find myself scratching my head and thinking, "that's it?" But make no mistake, Leigh is flawed. Any sane person would look at her and questions her.
"You skitter and flinch and run away." His lips twitched. "This small thing living on the fringes, never wanting to be seen."
Leigh is also weak, yet I still liked her as a heroine. She's been handed a horrible deck with her life, raised under odd expectations and a lack of love. The little attention she is given, is for all the wrong reason. Which brings me to the elephant in the room. I-N-C-E-S-T! Yes, this book has it. It is not glossed over, but told in graphic detail. The moments together with her father, forever shape Leigh and her sexual needs. It's not until Gabriel that she seems those moments in a different light.
I didn't know what to think of Gabriel when he's introduced. He's a little bit mystery and a whole lot scary. Yet Gary, Leigh's only friend at the time, thinks she might be good for him. With time, I felt myself agreeing with that assessment. They are good for each other. But good and happy don't have a place in this story. Any brief moment of happiness seems to be stolen from Leigh in a flash.
What sets this book apart, other than the edgy storyline, would be the manner in which it is told. This author is a true wordsmith. The words are beautiful, raw and as my buddy reader, Rachel, mentioned, they have a lyrical quality. I often reread sentences, once to capture their meaning, and then again in appreciation. Here's just a sample of the author's talent:
To describe Gabriel: God, he was pure gunmetal, and right now he moved like the safety was off, the trigger cocked, ready to fire.
Leigh's describing her story for Gabriel:
"That moment was when she realized that every woman is a broken goddess. Every last one."
"Why broken?" Hart asked softly.
"Because we're all born in that cage, and we've been breaking our wings against the bars ever since"
With the dark and taboo subject matter, this book might not be for everyone. I'll admit, I was terrified after just reading the trigger warning at the front of the story. There are moments you will question the heroine, moments that are in such detail you feel them. And it's not usually a good feeling. Leigh is not your typically heroine. She's not shiny and beautiful, she is damaged inside and out. Most people around her make judgments and try to change her. Except one.
The ending felt a bit rushed to me, but I was thankfully there wasn't a cliffy. The deeply damaged souls deserve some happy in their lives.
*An ARC was received via NetGalley for an honest review.
September 17, 2015
HAUNTING. TWISTED. PROFOUND.
I adored this book. It was my kind of read. It had drama, a touch of taboo and darkness and engaging characters that spoke to my heart.
Clarissa is a lost soul. She searches for a way to fill the void inside her. She threw a life of wealth and security in order to be free; in order to find herself...But at what price? Homeless but getting by, she watches her old life from afar, catching it in endless camera snaps. One huge part of her heart is still left behind, trapped in the guilded cage of her past life.
When Gabriel Hart is thrown in her path, he brings a breath of fresh air and...terror. Terror because Gabriel represends everything she fears; emotional attachment.
Emotionally crippled by his life as a marine, he battles his own demons. Rugged and brutally handsome, he makes Clarissa want things that she cannot have. Love and safety.
Will these two lost souls ever find happiness?
The book handles very sensitive themes. Abuse, rape and PTSD. But the story is told in a very passionate and intimate way that captivates you while at the same time has the power to tear your heart out. This book has to be one of the few books that made me an emotional wreck...but in a good way. I loved every minute of this dark tale. Excellent work. Amazing execution and deliverance.
Clarissa was a powerful heroine who embraced her faults and was not ashamed of her desires. She loved but she was betrayed. She fought in her own way even when she was the victim. I loved how the book draws the line between consent and abuse of power. It is very easy to blur the lines. Do not miss this book. I am hooked.
5 Lost Stars from me.
ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.
I adored this book. It was my kind of read. It had drama, a touch of taboo and darkness and engaging characters that spoke to my heart.
Clarissa is a lost soul. She searches for a way to fill the void inside her. She threw a life of wealth and security in order to be free; in order to find herself...But at what price? Homeless but getting by, she watches her old life from afar, catching it in endless camera snaps. One huge part of her heart is still left behind, trapped in the guilded cage of her past life.
When Gabriel Hart is thrown in her path, he brings a breath of fresh air and...terror. Terror because Gabriel represends everything she fears; emotional attachment.
Emotionally crippled by his life as a marine, he battles his own demons. Rugged and brutally handsome, he makes Clarissa want things that she cannot have. Love and safety.
Will these two lost souls ever find happiness?
The book handles very sensitive themes. Abuse, rape and PTSD. But the story is told in a very passionate and intimate way that captivates you while at the same time has the power to tear your heart out. This book has to be one of the few books that made me an emotional wreck...but in a good way. I loved every minute of this dark tale. Excellent work. Amazing execution and deliverance.
Clarissa was a powerful heroine who embraced her faults and was not ashamed of her desires. She loved but she was betrayed. She fought in her own way even when she was the victim. I loved how the book draws the line between consent and abuse of power. It is very easy to blur the lines. Do not miss this book. I am hooked.
5 Lost Stars from me.
ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.
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