2.5 get an editor & a thesaurus stars.
I am most definitely not a "Piney". That town needs an English teacher and a few Psychiatrists.
Here is our 1st meeting with the "hero"...he is banging "some chick" from behind so he does not have to look at her face. What a winner (but of course it is because he is broken - so it is okay to treat a women like a piece of crap).
She is invariably quiet and willing to follow my lead. I am always in control. It was working. We barely speak to each other. It is a match made in heaven. Tonight, she is different. She’s seeking a connection. Eff that.
“Same time next week, Gav?” She musters up an ounce of confidence to get the words out. Gav?
“Nah. We’re done.” I put my hands behind my head. Nicknames and talking after sex isn’t going to work for me.
The he meets our heroine - the virginal college graduate who wants to go to grad school (must be smart, right! ???)
“I’m Kenz…I mean… Mac. I’m Mac,” she stutters.
“Gavin,” I say dryly. Does she know her effing name? Doesn’t she know her t!ts are popping out of her tank top? Eff.
“So,” she sighs. “Are they always this exhausting to be around?”
I want to laugh, but I don’t. “Pretty much,” I pretend to check the lugs on my wheels. Distracting myself is the only way I can keep from looking into her eyes and at her boobs. Mac plays with the straps on her tank top. She appears to be just as nervous as I am.
“It’s only been fifteen minutes since I’ve met them. I don’t think I can handle an entire summer of this.” “I’ve been dealing with it my entire life. You’ll learn to ignore it or just live with it.” I assure her.
My first impression of Gavin is that he is a truck driving, deer-hunting, ditch digging, muddin’, country song, singing type. He’s a ‘camo’ man for sure…redneck through and through. And…he’s rude. He’s everything my dad told me to stay away from. Even so, when he stares at me too long I’m hypnotized. My body is humming and buzzing, just begging to be near him. There is nothing charming about him except his looks for sure. I should run now especially since he almost spat on me.
And then they interact...
“Do you have a personality disorder?” Mac blurts out.
I swear she is serious, but I hope she’s joking. “What the eff?” My eyes squint.
“One minute you care about the well-being of others…like me. The next, you’re a dick. It makes perfect sense.”
Finishing the last gulp of beer in this can, I immediately open another. “You’re assuming again, Mac.” It takes me about two seconds to drink the entire can.
“No…I’m just responding to the chaos.” Mac looks straight ahead, avoiding any eye contact with me.
The fourth beer in a half an hour makes me a little more tolerable. “Chaos…chaos…chaos. You seem to welcome chaos, Mac,” I snort. “Your pretty little a$$ has been in the middle of it all since you showed up tonight.” “Like I had a choice, Gavin.”
Her weird, but beautiful eyes gaze at me. “I thought life was supposed to be simple out here in the woods. All of you are crazy…just bat sh!t crazy.”
“I suppose we are.” I can’t argue with her. A half an hour ago I would have argued the point that we are sane. I know better when I’m drunk.
Now of course hate turns to lust and he wants her. Cue the "romance" ???
“What’s up?” Looking down at her, I can see that she is conflicted. She’s thinking too damn hard. Thinking is the last thing I want her to be doing right now.
“I,” she stutters.
“What baby?” It’s only been seconds, but it feels like ten minutes has passed.
“I’m a virgin.”
Now, I freeze. Virgin. Effing a virgin is like playing tennis with a brick wall. There is no chance of winning. I’ve had sex with a few virgins, and it always ends up the same way. First, it’s boring sex. The entire act is making sure she’s not hurting. The second half is walking her through the entire process while trying to get off.
Gavin listens attentively at first. Then, he delivers a bombshell. “You really need to talk to Kaley. Even so, Kaley isn’t going to open up to you. You’re a stranger.”
“You and I still have a deal, Gavin. You are supposed to help me.”
“Mac, I like you. I do. But, I’m not the kind of guy whom you need in your life. I’m damn sure that I’m not the guy who should take your virginity. The deal is off.”
He’s scared of my virginity. Pu$$y.
Mac. I’m trying to be kind. It’s not about your lack of experience. I’m obviously attracted to you,” he huffs. “Get that scowl off your face, Mac.”
Was I scowling? “I’m not scowling. I’m the type of girl who pays her debt.” Holy ^%$#. Am I actually arguing with Gavin about taking my virginity?
“Consider your debt paid, Mac. I’ve settled on a portion of the debt.”
I don’t know why I am so upset. “Eff you, Gavin. Take me home.”
“Seriously? You are angry at me for finally doing the right thing?”
“I’m mad at you for treating me like a freak.”
“I’m not. Sh!t, Mac, I effing respect you. I’m just a piece of trash. Why the hell would you pick me?” Because. You’re worth losing it to. “My mistake, Gavin. Just take me home.”
I am thinking she will have some self respect and walk away....but
“You never know what you are looking for until you find it,” I say.
“What?” Gavin is confused.
“You said that you were not the steady person that I’m looking for in my life.” I let the air out of my lungs slowly. “I say, so the eff what. Life is unpredictable and weird. You may use me. You may believe that I deserve better. But, there is something I am sure of Gavin. I deserve you.”
“Mac,” he tries to cut me off.
“No,” I refuse to listen to him. “I deserve you. I don’t care if you give me five minutes of your life. I deserve you.”
“What are you thinking, Mac?” “I’m thinking…I deserve you.”
"Mac," I begin quietly, my gaze holding her still. "You deserve more than me," I whisper. “I’m just white trash. I can’t offer you more than this. I only have the woods, my shop, and my truck. That’s it. And I know tonight if I keep going that you will let me eff you…make you mine,” I take a deep breath. "So, tell me no.” My face is taut with the strain of keeping arousal at bay. “Just effing tell me no.”
Mac bites down on her lip. I want to nibble on her lips again. I shake my head to banish those thoughts. I need her to reject me. I need Mac to tell me to eff off. But, damn, if I don’t want to know what it feels like to be inside of her. I want to see her come again. I just want her. Her lips pucker and her gaze drops to my lips and lingers. Mac’s eyes lift and stare into mine.
“You might leave me after I give myself to you. You might be using me.” Her chest puffs up. “But I deserve you. I see more in you than you see in yourself. I see a guy who carries the weight of his friend’s death. I see a guy who takes care of people. I see a guy, who doesn’t want people to know that he is decent……he is so effing good. And I want that guy. I deserve that guy. So, I won’t tell you no. Be my first, Gavin. Please,” she kisses me quickly and pulls away. “Please just be my first.”
“Whatever the outcome? Whatever the consequences? You want me?” I ask one last time.
“Whatever the consequences. Whatever the outcome. I want you, Gavin.”
Alrighty then... Now there is the drama and mystery surrounding the cousin and Mac's dad. I will not spoil that. This does lead to a fight just hours after he gave in after she BEGGED him to be her 1st.
“Gavin?” I rise and lean over her, brushing her light hair off her forehead.
“I’m here, baby.” She tries to get up, but I ease her back against her pillow. Her eyes are wide and the fear sets in. “Where am I?”
I run my fingers through my hair. “You had a panic attack. They admitted you overnight just to keep an eye on you.”
“I’m in the hospital?”
“Yeah.” “Someone or something hit me. I felt it.” Her eyes accuse me.
“Carey stopped you from running into traffic. It was the only way to get you to stop.”
“Effer.”
I can’t help but chuckle. “He saved you.”
“Yeah, well, I guess he’s feeling a little guilty.”
My eyes narrow and my smile transforms into a frown. “That’s not fair.”
“It’s true.”
“It’s not.”
“Well, if you can’t see that your friend drove Kaley to madness, then you should just leave. We have nothing to say to each other, Gavin. Just leave.”
My heart screams with agony. She doesn’t want me with her. I know she is angry. I know that she doesn’t have all the facts. Still, it doesn’t hurt any less. “I’m not leaving you, Mac. You’re pissed. I get it. You’re acting like a brat.”
“I don’t care what you think, Gavin.”
Ouch. “You’re too damn stubborn for your own good, Mac.”
“My name is not Mac. It’s Kenzie. I should have never come here. I should have never let you inside of me. You all disgust me.” Her words are venomous and cutting. “Get out, Gavin.”
Her eyes well up with tears and she twists her head so she doesn’t have to look at me. No. Don’t do this. The 'old me' creeps out from the darkness of my heart. Damn, I thought I had expunged all that sh!t when Mac let me inside of her.
“I got what I wanted anyway. The goal was always to eff you, Kenzie. Thanks for the virgin lay. You made this easy on me. I won’t have to pretend to like you for the rest of the summer.”
“You used me?”
No. “You were way too easy, Mac,” I cough. “I mean, Kenzie, or whoever the eff you are today, especially for a virgin.”
“You’re an a$$hole.”
“Maybe so, Kenzie.” I shrug my shoulders. “You’re just an easy target that punched her v-card with a white-trash Piney. Explain that to your future husband.”
I can't even.... But not to worry, after the rest of the drama happens, SHE apologizes.
“I don’t know how to fish or hunt. I don’t own anything camouflage. That,” she laughs and points at my quad. “That was the first time I ever rode, and it felt like freedom. I don’t fear ticks or poison ivy anymore. I never had sex in the back of a truck…but...…I want to with you. It’s all I have been thinking about the last two weeks,” she confesses. “The one thing that scares me the most is if I tell you how sorry I am, and you won’t forgive me.”
“Ask for forgiveness, Mac.” I order her.
“Forgive me,” she says.
Bottom line: Not for me.