My Holiday in North Korea: The Funniest/Worst Place on Earth

by Wendy E. Simmons

Most people want out of North Korea. Wendy Simmons wanted in.

In My Holiday in North Korea: The Funniest/Worst Place on Earth, Wendy shares a glimpse of North Korea as it’s never been seen before. Even though it’s the scariest place on Earth, somehow Wendy forgot to check her sense of humor at the border.

But Wendy’s initial amusement and bewilderment soon turned to frustration and growing paranoia. Before long, she learned the essential conundrum of “tourism” in North Korea: Travel is truly a love affair. But, just like love, it’s a two-way street. And North Korea deprives you of all this. They want you to fall in love with the singular vision of the country they’re willing to show you and nothing more.

Through poignant, laugh-out-loud essays and 92 color photographs of North Korea rarely published, Wendy chronicles one of the strangest vacations ever. Along the way, she bares all while undergoing an inner journey as convoluted as the country itself.

Genres: Nonfiction, Travel, Memoir, Humor, Asia, Audiobook, Biography

312 pages, Paperback

First published May 3, 2016

About the author

Wendy Simmons won’t stop traveling until she visits every country in the world! Despite her hatred for packing, she’s managed to explore more than eighty-five so far—including territories and colonies—and chronicles her adventures on her blog, wendysimmons.com where you can also sign up for her newsletter.

Wendy is president of Vendeloo, a consultancy she founded in 2001, chief brand officer of a NYC-based global eyewear brand, and an award-winning photographer. She’s also owned a bar in Manhattan, worked for a lobbying firm on Capitol Hill, and written a Japanese-language phrase book. Though her Japanese is now terrible, Wendy’s Pig Latin is flourishing. She graduated summa cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa from George Washington University.

Wendy practices Muay Thai daily and lives in Brooklyn in a converted 1800s schoolhouse.

Her first book, “My Holiday in North Korea; The Funniest Worst Place on Earth” will be released May 3, 2016.

Reviews

[Mandy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I found this book problematical in so many ways. And I feel I can judge as I did very much the same trip the author did (May 2015), saw the places she did, had the same experiences and met the same sort of people. Only I went with an open and sympathetic mind and was neither condescending nor superior. I’m no apologist for the North Korean regime but I was open to finding out more and meeting people with an open heart. Ms Simmons was not. She simply wanted material for her book and cynically decided that a humorous approach would bring her more readers. Let’s start with the title. “The Funniest/Worst Place on Earth”. No, it’s not a funny place at all. Of course there are absurdities, as there are in most countries, but I didn’t find much to laugh at on my trip. A wry smile, perhaps, at the lack of electricity, lack of water, potholes in the road. But then I don’t imagine things are too good in places like Syria right now. Of course it’s an evil regime, but it’s their regime and they let foreign tourists in, show us their country, make us welcome and look after us. We should show respect for that. Individuals do not a regime make. I was particularly angry at James Altucher’s comment that Simmons had a “death-defying adventure” and that she was brave to go there. Not at all. Visiting Syria is death-defying. Not North Korea. And let’s look at Simmons’ own superior (American Imperialist) attitudes. So she considers herself to be of “high emotional intelligence” and full of empathy towards others? Pity she didn’t demonstrate some of that when dealing with the people she so rudely calls her “handlers”. We called ours guides and they were absolutely charming, doing a difficult job under difficult circumstances. She is particularly rude about the older of her guides. And as for hoping that they come to no harm after her book comes out – well, a bit more discretion might have helped them to escape any. The hotel. The Koryo Hotel – “dim, drab, smoky, weird, empty” – as she describes it. Well, we found it rather comfortable, with helpful staff and more than acceptable food. So we weren’t free to wander around unaccompanied. We knew that before we went and wouldn’t have dreamed of trying to make life difficult for our lovely guides. As for taking photographs, there were virtually no restrictions, even at the DMZ, where the soldiers were indeed friendly and loved having their pictures taken with us. And anyway, most North Koreans have cell phones these days so are quite capable of taking their own photos. Ms Simmons comes across as shallow, patronising, sarcastic and self-centred. Although the book offers a glimpse into an often hidden world, it’s a very superficial one, and there are many better accounts of life in North Korea. Ms Simmons owes her guides an apology and she owes the ordinary citizens of North Korea an apology, and she certainly owes the poor bride who she maintains gave her the evil eye an apology. Did it not occur to Ms Simmons that the bride was scared and bewildered at being made to perform for this upstart Imperialist? The regime is another matter, of course, but such trivial accounts do nothing to pave the way for better understanding. It is only through ordinary people that this extraordinary regime might one day topple. Let’s make friends with them not look down on them for what they have to endure.

Edited 13 Nov 2016. As a corrective to this shallow account of North Korea, I recommend Aim High in Creation! by Anna Broinowski. Anna is far more sympathetic and open-minded in her attitudes and approach and with her accompanying film does far more to open up North Korea to the reader/viewer than Ms Simmons' distasteful book

[Heather · Rating 1 out of 5]

The photographs were interesting (except the horribly exploitative and insensitive one on the cover). The rest of the book is self-serving, insensitive trash. The author herself came across terribly. Her immature and self-centered sarcasm permeates the book. Starting with the too-lengthy ridiculous rant about how seriously she reacted to her driver killing a bug (which, she acknowledges, he did as an act of goodwill in order to make her feel better--or, what he thought would make her feel better--, as he had seen her react strongly to a bug before), she becomes unbearable. This culminates with the truly awful final chapters in which she is so horrible about her guide. She completely contradicts herself by acknowledging that construction workers she sees are "like slaves," yet she personally attacks her guide, failing to realize that her guide is most likely under command and careful scrutiny by the government and that she probably acts accordingly to avoid punishment. Ultimately, she fails to have any real understanding that the people of this country are born into a very controlling environment. She knows that her guides are controlled and working for the govt, yet she blames them for having to act in the ways that they do. The lack of empathy and insight is astonishing. The final 1/3 of the book made lose all respect for the author; the final chapters are really only about herself and not N Korea. The writing also lacks depth and detail. For example, she never mentions the food except for when she complains about being offered an ice cream and about how she chooses to eat only chocolate and poorly cooked eggs with jam. How she calls herself a "travel writer"....and how she found a publisher for this book, which reads more like a series of casual/crude emails to a friend....... is beyond me.

It becomes clear that, despite her lengthy protestations to the contrary, Simmons went to N Korea fully intending to write a book from which to profit. She went with preconcieved notions and an agenda. It's sickeningly clear that she did not go in earnest to learn about the country and its people. She has written that book with utter lack of regard about what might happen to her guides and the other people she encounters once the N Korean authorities get hold of a copy. Worse, she overtly acknowledges in the Author's Note that her book could mean punishment for her guides, driver, etc. Yet, she manages to *blame it on them,* saying basically "oh well, it's their fault for choosing those jobs" (as if they had a choice!). There is so much wrong with that, I don't even know where to begin. She declares that she "really, truly hope[s] no harm" comes to them..........but I don't believe a word of that. She clearly cares more about publishing her book for her own gain despite the potential consequences for those she depicts. She also appears to get off on feeling superior to all of the people she meets in Korea. Truly despicable and disgusting.

Edit : It's been weeks since I finished this book and the more I think about it, the more it bothers me. This author has zero respect for the people with whom she interacted. She has zero insight. I hate that the bride is on the cover and I hate more that this author chose to deride/laugh at that woman's situation for her own gain. I worry for the guides she wrote about. I'm sure that the author doesn't read these reviews, but I truly hope that she understands what she's done. She should be thoroughly ashamed of herself. (I doubt that she will ever understand, though, as that would require her to get over her astonishingly myopic narcissism.) I'm glad that I read a library copy instead of purchasing.

[Aja: The Narcoleptic Ninja · Rating 1 out of 5]

I get it, North Korea is funny. I mean, the hilarious stories practically write themselves when their leader declares war over a comedy movie and does things like seemingly declaring war on Poseidon because no one actually believes they’re stupid enough to fire missiles at Japan, the U.S. or basically anything other than empty ocean. But… they’re not a zoo. The country is a real country, the propaganda is a real thing that people are taught. It’s not there for your amusement. There’s a way to be funny while still being sensitive to what’s going on and this author completely missed that boat and was just jumping up and down shouting “look how funny I am! Look at me, I’m clever!”

There are so many issues in this book that I’m not even sure where to begin. One of the first things I noticed is that she refers to her guides as “her handlers” which, I now understand is apt because she behaved like a complete animal. First of all, she compares their love for their “glorious leader” to the way she loved her “cutest, most adorable, best doggies in the whole wide world.” In no way are those things comparable. Not even in the slightest. As a matter of fact, it’s plain disrespectful which I realize is the norm for this woman.

I mean, I knew I was getting into this for some humorous stories, but I expected to learn something about the country and see a lot of interesting pictures. But there’s not a single fact in this book or even a poignant observation. Everything is “look how funny, and look how suspicious, and I’m being a prick even though I’m on my best behavior!” I wish I was kidding. She’ll recap conversations with people where she argued with them relentlessly, or made snide comments, or just ignored them because they were too frustrating to talk to but she’s “on her best behavior.” There are pictures, but none of them are captioned with what’s depicted or why the picture is significant. They’re captioned with quotes from Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass.

She peppers her guides with questions and gets frustrated at their answers. She says herself that everything in North Korea is scripted, so how does she not see that her guides can get in trouble by answering her questions with anything other than what they’re told? She’s continuously going on about how she can't believe how stupid these people are and how much she hates them for not agreeing with her or laughing when she makes JOKES about their leaders. That’s right, she makes jokes about the Kims and gets offended that nobody laughs except her. To top it all off she spends a frustrating amount of time trying to get her guides to slip up and say something they’re not supposed to. She mercilessly claws at them for any comment to prove they don’t like North Korea or they think the country is crazy, or that their leaders aren’t so great after all. THAT’S NOT OKAY. She gets to leave after ten days. They have to live there, and if any word of their comments gets back to anyone terrible things could happen to them.

Of course she “tries” to keep it anonymous, but she’s very half assed about it and makes no real effort at all. She hides their names, referring to them as “Older Handler” and “Fresh Handler” but she lists the exact dates she was there, she goes into detail about her itinerary for the trip, and then says things like "I like Fresh Handler. I think I could turn her and convince her Korea is a bad evil place." Between all of that right there she’s given enough information for them to track this tour guide down and kill her. Eventually, in the last few pages, she admits that she has qualms about their identities and sincerely hopes they’re okay, but I feel like if that were the case at all, she would have done a much better job at concealing their identities.

The last few chapters have nothing to do with North Korea. They’re about the author and her writing and trying to publish this book and she makes eye-rolling comments like this: “I have great instincts, high emotional intelligence, and a tremendous amount of empathy. I tend to get what’s going on, even when no one else around me does.” Sorry chick, but I have 300 pages that proves that’s not the case. In the very beginning she mentions telling her tour guide, her North Korean tour guide, that going back to her hotel feels like returning to prison because she’s not allowed to leave her hotel on her own and wander around. So instead of slapping her, the tour guide offered to walk with her and buy her an ice cream. "Depositing me back at the hotel at 7:05 p.m. on the dot, she turned and said to me, 'There. Now you feel better,' like I was some kind of child who had been granted a magical five-minute ice cream mind-eraser furlough." If the shoe fits, wear it, darling.

Throughout the book she has a desperate need to prove that she’s smart, insightful, and the most sensitive person in the room. She mentions that she could not for the life of her pronounce "Thank you" correctly in Korean and kept saying it wrong. And then adds "If you’re sounding it out loud right now and thinking to yourself, she must be an idiot, try it without this book in front of you. I didn’t have a cheat sheet. And even though I’d learned 169 new English words using Kaplan’s vocab app on my phone, I couldn’t get this single Korean word right.” Because sorry reader, but you’re not allowed to be smarter than her. And I think I’ve said enough on why she’s clearly not the most insightful and sensitive person.

This woman is not a “travel writer” like she claims to be. She doesn’t tell you any facts, doesn’t provide any context for her pictures (and includes some pretty awful selfies too), she doesn’t talk about any of the food and culture except to complain about it. She’s not a travel writer, she’s a tourist. And a pitiful and disrespectful tourist at that.

[Erica · Rating 3 out of 5]

See those reviews in which readers talk about how horrible this author is toward to the country, culture, and people of North Korea?
They're not wrong.

This is definitely written by a white woman who can afford to travel the world and does so at will. Her writing is a little tongue-in-cheek and a lot pompous. She doesn't take much seriously which is both charming and a hindrance to understanding this culture so foreign to our own.

...is what I would have said last year.
However, North Korea's social structure may not so foreign anymore.

Then I prayed for all the North Korean people because, let's face it, there but for the grace of God go I. (Introduction)
Only, it seems that the grace of God has perhaps left us all because some of these stories sounded too close to what I'm reading in the news these days. The fake news, that is.

Like Alice, I've fallen through a rabbit hole into a world full of strange and nonsensical events, where normal is surreal, lying is widespread, and the ruler has a penchant for demanding "Off with her head!"
Again, those are things I've been feeling for the past six weeks, or so, and I'm not in North Korea.
Maybe this is a good primer for what's to come, what we can expect to see in our near futures. I'm not actually joking this time. Maybe I'm a little hyperbolic, but maybe you should read this and see if any of it sounds familiar.

As for the content, itself, it's mediocre. I think I had expected the standard American culture shock that turned into curiosity that morphed into an appreciation for a place so radically different from what the author is used to. Maybe the author feels she accomplished just that but it doesn't come across that way, at least not to this reader.

For instance, the empathy of which she brags never seems to manifest.

Here's what I do know:

1. I have great instincts, high emotional intelligence, and a tremendous amount of empathy.

2. I tend to get what's going on, even when no one else around me does.

3. I have been all over the world -- really traveled and explored it -- and I've learned that the more you travel, the more patterns you recognize.

...

9. I've been managing people my entire career. I know when people are lying to me.

10. Everybody lies.

I'm going to take that tenth point as her disclaimer so I can assume she's lying on those first two points because that empathy of which she speaks, her deep emotional intelligence and all, it doesn't show in her writing. She's not skilled enough to be poignant in her flippancy but, instead, comes across as morally superior and self-involved which is unfortunate because that tone creates a barrier for the reader who hopes to get an insightful look at North Korea.

Driver was like an avuncular yakuza with bad manners. But for some reason I liked him from the moment we were introduced in the airport parking lot. He spoke no English. Or he was fluent and faking it. But what would be the point?

He was either in his late sixties or early forties. I honestly cannot remember which. I do, however, remember being really surprised by how old or how young he looked when Older Handler told me his age. His visage had a sort of timeless oldness to it. Like alcoholics who live where there's nothing but sun.

He had a gold tooth or two, spiky hair, and a generally gruff exterior. He was slight and not particularly tall, but he had the air of somebody who could and would viciously tear any enemy apart, regardless of whether or not it was deserved. I always felt bad for having these feelings about him, because he was probably a decent man. I was judging a book by its cover, a man by his looks.

Except he did violently stomp to death an innocent bug that I had painstakingly rescued from our car just mere seconds ago...while he watched.

And yet, the social commentary is there if you just stop paying attention to her words and I did actually enjoy this, probably because of my own travels. I'm sure my journal entries are just as assholey and unaware. In fact, I rummaged through my photo albums, trying to find my pictures of the DMZ. I wanted to do a side-by-side, her picture and mine, of the room where the line is drawn between the two countries. I thought that would be cute. Sadly, I have no idea where those pictures are. If I find them someday, I will post them here. If you want to see her pictures, you can see them on the book's website.

I can tell you a story, though.
So on our way to visit the DMZ, from the South Korean side, we were lectured on the bus and given a long list of rules and we had to sign all sorts of paperwork and we were warned about land mines. One of the warnings that were reiterated was not to smile when looking at the north's side and not to take pictures of their half of the base because they'd take our picture and use it as propaganda. We were told we'd be portrayed as white people happy to be so close to North Korea, longing to live there, ourselves.
That was weird.
Once we got there, though, the anthem-y sounding music blasting from old speakers atop tall poles just across the border was even weirder.
I was only there for an hour or two. We toured the base, we didn't smile at the North Koreans, we didn't take pictures of their barracks. We shook hands with our soldiers, we may have flirted a bit because it's what you do when in a war zone, and we constantly heard the scratchy, piped-in music in the distance.
Those memories came rushing back as I read this book. I did not doubt the level of propaganda this author was fed during her time in North Korea. However, there's also been plenty of anti-"NoKo" propaganda spread throughout the US and South Korea in the past, what? 70 years? I'd have liked and examination of our preconceived views on the country to have been a little more front-and-center but, again, that's not what the author was in for. She wanted to share her impressions of a hard-to-visit country and did so in fairly typical American fashion.

It's worth the read and the pictures are both delightful and bizarre, just make sure you go in with some grains of salt.

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm torn about this book.

On one hand, the fascinating subject matter and great photos made it a very quick read. There is no shortage of weird situations and off-balance conversations throughout the book, which hold a reader's attention nicely. I mean, who isn't fascinated by North Korea? This book is amusing and weird and joyfully wry.

On the other hand, the author manages to write an entire travelogue about 10 days in NoKo (as she lovingly calls it) without actually saying anything. She constantly talks about how (rightfully) suspicious she is of everything she sees, how paranoid she becomes toward the end of her trip and how upside-down her tour feels, yet she never explores anything in real depth. Besides fact-checking a few things on Wikipedia once she returned home, she never drops any real evidence or data into the book, which is a shame; I realize this isn't a factual essay about the weirdest country on Earth, but balancing her "These people seem to be lying to me, and gosh golly, it's strange!" observations with some actual facts (or, better yet, some quotes from real NoKo defectors about what life is really like behind closed Korean doors) would've been incredibly powerful. Like so many other books nowadays, this one isn't really about it purported subject, it's about the author. And Wendy Simmons isn't a traveller, she is merely a tourist (I use that word knowing full well that someone like Wendy will take great offense to it.).

Plus, based on her "funny" comments and "honest" observations, I'm fairly certain Wendy Simmons is the kind of person I'd studiously avoid in real life. She's the funniest person in every room she's in, the smartest woman she's ever met, the toughest broad she could ever imagine... the kind of self-aggrandizing, self-absorbed person who, despite her constant professions that she is a fervent student and she only travels to humble herself and "be her best self," never really listens to or learns from anyone besides Wendy. Her ego grated on me throughout this book.

Ultimately quite readable and admittedly funny, I'd recommend this book to friends, but I'll never seek out another Wendy Simmons piece.

[Marsha Altman · Rating 1 out of 5]

The author is like a compilation of American tourist stereotypes in a human suit. Despite being wealthy enough to travel extensively for a living, she's apparently not wealthy enough to buy a book, because prior to visiting North Korea (which she dubs NoKo for no reason) she obviously did no research on the country's history, culture, politics, or language. This is a woman who takes a vacation in a country with the worst human rights record in the world and active concentration camps and she spends most of the time complaining about how ugly her accomodations are and how mean people are being to her. Later she says that she's super smart and super empathic and that's why she decided to make her notes into a book. Honestly I do not know how this book was published by a real publisher, and recieved real reviews, because it reads like a poorly-edited blog post, complete with copious cursing, poor formatting and grammar, and no overarching narrative except that she had a miserable time. The cover is the best thing about the book.

[Yodamom · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a dangerous, fascinating and unhappy place to visit.
This American Imperialist found some of this story funny but mostly it was sad. The people are so controlled, and manipulated that it broke my heart. The brain washing of the people is heart wrenching. The book was written with a sense of humor so it wasn't dark and gloomy but certain aspects hit me hard. It is very hard for me to see anyone suffer and be controlled.
The bathroom drama had to be the funniest thing in the book. She stayed dehydrated so she wouldn't have to use them any more than she had to. How this great leader trio, yes trio, long story, thought they could get away with be so superior without running water, toilet paper and the need for discussions just to use one is crazy. Oh the discussions, with any slight adjustment came a discussion. Everything about the visit was over the top looney-ville. The whole show they put on for the world visitors is crazy time, Twilight Zone acting.
This is one travel location I have zero interest in visiting. I saw more of the country through Ms. Simmons eyes than I ever expected to. I was worried for her safety, worried for her handlers, her driver, that at any moment they would do or say the wrong thing. I couldn't put this book down I finished it in one day. My last thought was that I am so glad to be considered an American What a dangerous, fascinating and unhappy place to visit.
This American Imperialist found some of this story funny but mostly it was sad. The people are so controlled, and manipulated that it broke my heart. The brain washing of the people is heart wrenching. The book was written with a sense of humor so it wasn't dark and gloomy but certain aspects hit me hard. It is very hard for me to see anyone suffer and be controlled.
The bathroom drama had to be the funniest thing in the book. She stayed dehydrated so she wouldn't have to use them any more than she had to. How this great leader trio, yes trio, long story, thought they could get away with be so superior without running water, toilet paper and the need for discussions just to use one is crazy. Oh the discussions, with any slight adjustment came a discussion. Everything about the visit was over the top looney-ville. The whole show they put on for the world visitors is crazy time, Twilight Zone acting.
This is one travel location I have zero interest in visiting. I saw more of the country through Ms. Simmons eyes than I ever expected to. I was worried for her safety, worried for her handlers, her driver, that at any moment they would do or say the wrong thing. I couldn't put this book down I finished it in one day. My last thought was that I am so glad to be considered an American Imperilist

[Short Reviews · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF @ 5.7%, the introduction part.
This author is not funny or a 'travel writer' as she calls herself, though she tries so, so hard to be both. It was painful to read her complaining about everything.
Simmons seems to be using North Korea as a way to publish her book, and disrepects the people in it in every way she can.
Nope, pass.

[Alireza · Rating 3 out of 5]

کتاب تعطیلات من در کره شمالی که توسط انتشارات کوله‌پشتی منتشر شده ولی خب نسخه فارسی اون توی گودریدز اضافه نشده.
در مورد کره‌شمالی کتاب‌های سفرنامه مختلفی وجود داره که بعد از خوندن چند مورد اون‌ها و چند نمونه از وبلاگ‌ها و سایت‌ها دیگه یواش یواش چیز جدیدی برای ارائه ندارند و همون اطلاعات قبلی رو تایید می‌کنند. مخصوصا اینکه خیلی از برنامه‌های سفر توسط یک شرکت چیده میشه و بازدیدها داخلش گنجانده میشه برای همین کسی سرخود نمیتونه جای جدید و عجیب غریبی رو ببینه. فقط میمونه قلم نویسنده و به خصوص در سفرهای کره‌شمالی، میزان طنز و نکته‌بینی اون که از موقعیت‌ها بتونه موارد جالبی رو در بیاره. البته سفر خانم نویسنده یک برنامه ده روزه‌ی انفرادی بوده که خب این نسبت به بقیه سفرها هم طولانی‌تر بوده و هم غیرگروهی که باعث میشه چندتا نکته جدید توشون دیده بشه.
در کل خیلی کتاب چیز جدیدی برای ارائه نداشت و خب غرغرهای مکرر نویسنده و گاهی اوقات طلبکار بودنش رو مخ میرفت. نویسنده در جاهای مختلف تکرار میکنه که نزدیک صدتا کشور دنیا رو دیده و خیلی خیلی اهل سفر و مسافرت هستش ولی خب اصلا همچین چیزی رو توی رفتارش در این کشور نمیشه دید. هرکسی که چهارتا کتاب یا مقاله در مورد کره‌شمالی خونده باشه متوجه شرایط این کشور هستش پس سوال‌پیچ کردن و مسخره کردن راهنمای بدبخت و قضاوت در مورد مردم اونجا به نظر من خیلی جالب نیست. همینطور وقتی شخصی بلیط سفر به این کشور رو میگیره دقیقا میدونه قرار هست وارد کجا بشه پس نباید سطح انتظاراتش رو انقدر بالا ببره که در بخش های مختلف سفر حالش گرفته بشه.
نکته مثبت کتاب این هست که نویسنده عکس‌های خوبی رو از سفر گرفته که به نظرم نسبت به بقیه کارها قوی‌تر بود.
در کل برای گذراندن وقت و آشنایی با کره‌شمالی بد نیست ولی کتاب‌های خیلی بهتری در این زمینه داریم.

[Mary Lins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Visit North Korea Without Having to Go to North Korea!

I became fascinated by North Korea after reading Adam Johnson's Pulitzer Prize winning novel, "The Orphan Master's Son". Johnson painted a picture of North Korea that was so surreal it could easily have been likened to an "Alice in Wonderland" kind of place. Well, in her utterly engaging and fascinating travel memoir, Wendy E. Simmons does exactly that; she describes her experiences in North Korea (which she calls: NoKo) as falling down the rabbit hole and she sprinkles appropriate Lewis Caroll quotes throughout.

This travel memoir is like nothing I've ever seen before - and I say "seen" rather than "read" because it's full of stellar photographs that Simmons took of NoKo. It's really like a long magazine article, or a perfectly curated photo album. I have no idea how this book looks on an e-reader, but in hand it is printed on photo-quality paper. I haven't had this much FUN reading a book in a long time.

Simmons is hilariously funny, to be sure. And NoKo is clearly an amusingly paradoxical place. But Simmons' observations are also quite insightful, and she is kind when kindness is called for and critical when the situation demands it (a lot of the time). Her style is wonderfully earthy, and the reader is cast as a friend to whom she is recounting this amazing and almost unbelievable adventure.

I can understand journalists, photographers, cultural historians, and other curious folks wanting to go to NoKo, but I can't grasp chosing to go there for a FAMILY VACATION, yet Simmons does meet a family of four from Australia. Since she is never without her "handlers" (Older Handler, Fresh Handler, and Driver, are with her every minute except when she's alone in her hotel room) she can't ask the Australian family WHY they chose NoKo for a vacation spot. I would surmise that either they 1) lost a bet, 2) it's punishment for something, or 3) they want their ungrateful/spoiled children to never complain about anything ever again.

Simmons visited NoKo in the summer of 2014, which happened to be the summer that NoKo declared war on the US outraged over the movie, "The Intern", starring James Franco and Seth Rogen that mocked Kim Jon Un. NoKo went on the retaliate by hacking Sony, if you recall. As *I* was reading Simmons' memoir (early March 2016), NoKo threatened a preemptive strike as the US and South Korea were holding military exercises. You can't make this stuff up.

I can't recommend this book highly enough. I found it utterly fascinating, hysterically funny, thought-provoking, and so tragically sad.

[dianne b. · Rating 2 out of 5]

Early on, this self described emotional genius provides us with the sublime insight that - despite our political and religious differences - fundamentally, humans are all the same. I'll let you glow on that for a bit...

i was surprised that she described herself as a traveler and yet hadn't bothered to learn ANY Korean before heading off for her solo tour of NoKo as she chose to call it. i am awful at languages but force myself to learn some basics before traveling anywhere as i think it's a sign of basic respect, when arriving uninvited in another culture, to at least attempt to communicate in their language. She jokes about how she couldn't even say "thank you" in Korean.

This book consists of descriptions of her Potemkin village experiences, (like they weren't expected?) day after day - reminding us (always) that there wasn't running water or toilet paper. And at one point she calls North Korea "evil". Hmmm. i wonder if the world population could be polled...i'd wager the country voted "most evil" would NOT be North Korea, not even close, dear Wendy, look a bit closer to home.

There are fantastic books about North Korea; this is not one of them. i finished this book, truth is, because it is published on really wonderful, shiny, aromatic paper. i loved the way it smelled and i liked the Lewis Carroll quotes. One star for each.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had an issue at first identifying where the author was coming from exactly, as she gives her background and intention much later in the book. Moreover, her writing style can be rather ... flippant (or "sassy"). That having been said, she's a terrific travel writer, capturing moments perfectly, especially impressive as she took as few notes as possible during her stay in case they fell into the wrong hands. So, start out with the idea that she really wants to meet "real" North Koreans and be part of their lives as she has in so many other places; as one should realize in advance, this is Not Easy in North Korea, though she meets with about as much success as is realistically possible.

Usually, I'd say that if one isn't getting into a book after a while, it likely won't improve a lot. This story proves an exception. The saddest moment is her observation of a scene, "That looks live slave labor" with the handler agreeing via non-verbal communication; the funniest had to do with being ... interrupted doing a complicated yoga pose in her room, scantily dressed.

Narration solidly in the very good - excellent range.

[Deb✨ · Rating 4 out of 5]

For me, this was a somber look at North Korea from the eyes of a tourist's perspective. If you are there on a vacation, you are assigned specific "handler's and a driver" who are always with you except when you sleep. They control where you go, where and what you eat and which bathrooms you use. They take you everywhere, everyday, and you are ushered around on their agenda for 12-14 hours a day, then dropped off to your hotel room and not allowed to leave until picked up the next morning at an exact time. The lights and electricity are only on at certain times, the water is rationed and sometimes there is no toilet paper. You are only allowed to photograph approved things during your trip and must always ask permission.

This author made this book easy to listen to because she talked about all aspects of how her trip went, and the personalities of her handler's and everyone she met. Everything seemed staged. She was good at asking questions and she did have a bit of sarcasm that she couldn't help come out due to the amount of propaganda and lies they constantly told her. They also sadly had a lot of old fashioned or backwards technology and didn't realize it. She actually did feel sorry for her handlers and driver by the end of her trip.

I don't think I could tolerate a vacation in North Korea and certainly not for ten days like she did. I truly feel sorry for the oppressed people that live there and have no idea what the rest of the world is like.

[Mary · Rating 3 out of 5]

This travel memoir was a great idea, and I picked it up because I'm fascinated by mysterious North Korea - and an American woman's observations behind the veil seemed like an interesting read. Unfortunately, there was a kind of immaturity in the style - needing to argue sarcastically with the people who were showing her around and using a lot of profanity. It's her interactions with the woman she calls Older Handler that seem to taint her story with a kind of edgy annoyance. She does have some funny descriptions, her photos are interesting and the allusions to Lewis Carroll's Wonderland are great. Kudos to her for being brave enough to travel alone to a dangerous country and to share her observations. But I also couldn't help feeling nervous about what this book could mean to the people who were kind while showing her around.

[Kelsey Myers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just like the country itself, as the title implies, this book perfectly captures that paradoxical nature that is North Korea. In one page it's both depressing and inspiring, heartbreaking and hilarious. Wendy Simmons herself is the perfect narrator as she is equal parts cheeky smart-ass and astute observer. Those looking for political or historical information on the country won't find much here (since even Simmon's guides didn't really seem to know), but this is a fascinating recounting of one woman's journey into an insane country.

[Lauren Hopkins · Rating 1 out of 5]

This came to me highly recommended and I'm actually outraged that I read it, to the point where I can never trust another human being and their reading choices ever again. This book is so fucking ignorant, ethnocentric, and straight-up racist, and it sheds exactly zero insight into North Korea or its people aside from one wildly narrow and wrong detail that is repeated in every single sentence on every single page – every man, woman, and child loves propaganda!

The author's defense for not saying a single factually correct thing about North Korea – aside from random tidbits she pulls from Wikipedia – is that she's just a girl! Sorry, just a tourist sharing her OWN experiences! Which are just like...her arriving and immediately being annoyed at everything and everyone in a country where she should have been prepared to be out of her comfort zone and yet she – a woman who claims to have traveled to other "shithole" "third-world" countries, which is how she described North Korea when writing this book in the year of our lord 2014 – apparently had no idea what to expect.

Each chapter of this book is dedicated to the different places she visited as part of her planned itinerary – she chose the activities from a list in advance – and not once is she satisfied, grateful, insightful, reflective, or anything but an obnoxious lil cunt both to everyone around her in the moment and in retelling her story. She is simply awful to her handlers and driver, who clearly have very little ability to do anything outside of what they're told, and even though she seems to like and respect one of the handlers (the one who is younger, less experienced, and easier for the author to manipulate) she still clearly doesn't give a shit about any of these people, as evidenced by her afterword where she's like "gee, I hope nothing I've said gets any of my guides in trouble but SHRUG if it does!" She has no sense of humor for the peculiarities she faces in her travels, and is so unbelievably racist in transcribing how her guides spoke to her, but in a way she thinks is cheeky and hilarious, which is how she writes in general. At one point she acknowledges her way of writing and how funny she believes herself to be, but her idea of comedy is simply just toddler-level ignorance along with a bit of base-level hyperbole, saying on nearly every page something like "my hotel elevator is 700 years old" or "we waited for 100,000 hours."

It's not until the very end of the book when the author acknowledges her privilege as a rich white lady but does she really ACKNOWLEDGE it? She SAYS she is these things, more or less, but I don't think a bone in her body actually grapples with what it means to be someone like her in a place like North Korea. At one point near the end she says outright "I am a very empathetic person" which like...if you have to state this, no, you absolutely are not. She tries to illustrate this by sharing a story about how one time in Jaipur, a starving child ran up to her car window and when the car pulled away too quickly at the red light, she teared up thinking about how she couldn't help that child. Cool? But you're currently mentally abusing the people who are being forced to drag you around their country for 10 days so idk if I believe you.

The whole book is just a lot of typical boomer nonsense, with the author positively convinced that every single thing she saw in the country – with the exception of a few giggles from "normal" people going off-script – was staged for her. There are some nuggets of truth there, as major monuments or farms/factories that are meant to be representatives of the ideal rather than serving a more functional purpose are always "organized" experiences according to other more reliable tourists, but for the most part her paranoia that "flash mobs" of "tens of thousands of people" simply appear for her and only her whenever she enters a park or a subway or any public space is truly insane behavior. She is so busy looking for Truman Show-esque propaganda that she can't actually experience what she wants most, which is normal interactions with people going about their lives.

For someone who claims to be so cultured and worldly, this author should be embarrassed at how blatantly stupid she comes across. It's no wonder Americans have the worst reputation literally everywhere else in the world. This book is genuinely the worst piece of travel writing I've ever read and I'm so sad to own a copy. I was into the premise and excited about her personal experiences and anecdotes, and though I generally appreciate that travel writing includes these while ALSO sharing some knowledge about the people, places, and culture of the authors' travels, I was willing to forgo it for something I expected to be smart and entertaining. It was neither of those things, and it's heinous that one of the few lucky Americans who has had the fortune to visit North Korea had to be this woman.

[Jackmccullough · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are lots of countries I don't know anything about, and I bet you could say the same. Most of them, though, don't hold the fascination of North Korea, partly because of its geopolitical significance, partly because they make such an effort to keep the truth a secret.

For this reason, books about North Korea, rare though they are, will always attract my attention. If you've read Nothing to Envy or The Orphan Master's Son you have gotten a good view of the repression and violence the cult of Kim must use to maintain its thus far unbreakable hold on power.

My Holiday in North Korea is a different take on it. The author, neither a North Korea expert nor a travel writer, describes herself as someone who loves to travel, and she booked herself on an individual ten-day tour of North Korea. Ten days booked solid with all the attractions the government wanted her to see, accompanied during all her waking hours with two handlers and a driver.

We don't see the prison camps, we don't see the starving peasants, we don't see the kidnapped Japanese. In fact, Simmons's gift is to show us the absurdity of NoKo's (as she likes to put it) efforts to put their best face forward, boasting of technological marvels and industrial productivity in visits, up to ten or more a day, to sites that are clearly intended to be the best North Korea has to offer, and yet lack such basic amenities as toilet paper and running water, and where burned-out light bulbs are left unchanged for days.

And how is the facade maintained? The most common tactic adopted by the handlers and guides is simplicity itself: lie. Lie when you make your presentations. Lie when you answer questions. Lie when things don't go according to plan. When the handlers run out of lies they switch to evasion. The humor in My Holiday in North Korea is derived mainly from the very absurdity of the lies, which even the handlers can't reasonably expect anyone to believe.

A quotation will illustrate her narrative approach:

"Glass case after glass case meant to showcase [North] Korea's engineering and manufacturing prowess displayed objects so mind-numbingly boring, anachronistic, and quotidian I truly felt like they were fucking with me. Polyester brown pants with a matching brown shirt hung proudly in one case. Another case held a few cans of food, and another housed electronics so old, I honestly had to ask what some were (one answer, "to make light shine on wall," did little to clarify).

I kept having the same thought I'd had so many times before during my visit: Is this really the best they can do? If a stuffed animal behind glass is NoKo putting its best foot forward to impress foreigners, then they really need to rethink their strategy. Understand, too, that in this same hall of manufacturing masterpieces, there is no running water in the bathroom."

If you're like me, and if you have a tremendous curiosity about life in North Korea, My Holiday in North Korea is a great addition to your collection.

[Miri Gifford · Rating 4 out of 5]

I almost didn't take this home, irritated with it for seeming flippant about a subject that is not in any way amusing (particularly after I'd just finished accounts by Jang Jin-sung and Suki Kim that were emotional and difficult to read). I flipped through to see the photos, of which there are many, and ended up checking it out just in case.

I'm glad I did. Thankfully, Wendy Simmons deserves more credit than I was giving her; while there is humor in the book, it's the dark kind that we employ when we need help accepting an unacceptable situation. Her memoir uses Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland as a framework, and the quotes that accompany each chapter and photo are surprisingly, upsettingly appropriate. It's an excellent, detailed personal account of what an American tourist experiences in North Korea.

Here's the weirdest thing about reading this book when I did: Having lived in the United States for the past two years, I was already familiar with the experience Simmons underwent. Not that of having been to North Korea, and obviously that situation is many times more concentrated than our own. But that of reality unraveling, words being used regardless of their meaning, things being called "facts" that are one hundred percent not factual, people denying things they said only moments before, on video. Looking around, reading the news, hearing people speak, and having to repeatedly question whether something that can clearly not be happening, but is in fact happening, is actually happening. We have had only two years of it, but there are more coming, and in reading this book I was seeing where this could go if we don't stop it. It's pretty fucking unsettling.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a lover of ruins and hidden-away places of all kinds, I am obviously fascinated with North Korea. This had some good photos and funny text about the author’s trip. Not a lot of depth or context but I enjoyed it. 3.5 stars.

[Joshua Kail · Rating 5 out of 5]

How does one write honestly about a place when everything about it is part of an elaborate play put on just for you? This is the challenge Wendy Simmons faced in writing about her trip to North Korea. By combining her award winning photographic skills, history as an experience solo traveler, and her natural wit, Ms. Simmons conquered this challenge in an amusing and insightful way.

With the help of Lewis Carol My Holiday in North Korea takes the reader deeper through the looking glass than ever before into the mysteries of the country. At times you will feel, just as Ms. Simmons did, unsure as to what was real and what was ruse. You will feel her frustrations, and find her humor, You will walk away from the book with a deeper understanding of the region and new perspective of the ongoing political escalations from North Korea in the news.

What makes My Holiday different than any other travelogue on the country is that the focus above all else is on the people of the country as individuals. This is not a book on political commentary or a highlight of evil, this is a book showing the stories and struggles of real people. Ms. Simmons is able to bring a sense of humanity to a place so often affiliated with rhetoric. She highlights those common bond similarities which make us all the same, from the teen boy playing it cool, to her handler's dreams of running a cafe. Within all the insanity of the funniest/worst place on Earth, Wendy Simmons reminds us we are all the same at heart.

[Lalo Dagach · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was not sure what to expect from this book, as Wendy Simmons is not an expert on North Korea, and had only visited the country for just over a week. But surprisingly the book turned out to be a must read for anyone interested in the DPRK or anyone who is fascinated by totalitarianism. It is not a book of history, or politics, nor a firsthand account of life inside North Korea. It is a foreigner's experience of a government constructed, Truman Show-esque, introduction to Pyongyang. Wendy's describes how some things seen in Pyongyang are obvious illusions for the benefit of tourism, and therefore anything or everything could be an illusion. Crowds spontaneously appearing at deserted amusement parks. Subway travelers that seems to be in perfect military alignment. Wendy draws a perfect parallel with Lewis Carroll's 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland', as she's goes down a rabbit hole of psychological and emotional gaslighting.

One could think of this book as, not an "outside the box, looking in", but an "outside the box, only shown the gift-wrapping and never looking inside." Or going to see a wall with binoculars through which you see no wall.

[Cynthia · Rating 1 out of 5]

My advice to any would-be reader is to look at the pictures and forget the narration. The writer is the quintessential Ugly American. She comes across as immature, arrogant ("I have great instincts, high emotional intelligence, and a tremendous amount of empathy" and "I tend to get what's going on even when no one else does"), hateful ("I hate North Korea"), and condescending (she refers to North Korea as "NOKO" throughout the book). Plus, she uses the "F word" throughout; really, in a travel book?! I only kept slogging through because when she wasn't being her hateful self or cussing, her descriptions were interesting.

[Peacegal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although the author provides quotes from Alice in Wonderland throughout the book, North Korea strikes me far more as what would happen if someone used Orwell's 1984 as the blueprint for building a country.

Simmons gives us a travelogue like no other--there are photos, asides, and observations galore--all featuring a frightening part of the world that very few of us will visit, or even want to. The author has a big heart that infuses the pages with compassion in spite of her cold and dismal surroundings.

[kate · Rating 2 out of 5]

I actually finished a book that was not a re-read of a Jane Austen book. (My head has been in a special place as of late.) This book gets an extra star because I finished it! I haven't finished any of the last 16 books I have picked up. (I listened to it while sick and could not sleep or open my eyes.)

This felt... condescending. And it tried... too hard. I am interested enough to read more about North Korea... from a different author.

[Tracy · Rating 1 out of 5]

What a bunch of self-centered, narcissistic garbage! This bitchy rant of a book is an embarrassment and disrespectful. I find it hard to believe that the author is an experienced traveler with such narrow minded views expressed in this book.

[Paige Bookdragon]

[annie ☁️ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Had so much fun with this! Makes me want to explore NoKor as well

[Stephen Heiner · Rating 1 out of 5]

Easily the worst read of 2022 but in contention for one of the worst reads of the last five years.

What happens when someone who lacks awareness and has never written a book gets the attention of James Altucher? Apparently, a book deal, and the luxury of having no one to edit her tone-deaf, poorly-written text.

It's bad enough when someone lacks self-awareness. It's much worse when they brag about what a great ambassador for travel he/she is, and what an amazing person he/she might be. Miss Simmons: you are not a humble ambassador for world travel, you're just someone who is not funny who doesn't have anyone in her life honest enough to tell you so.

If you want the real scoop on North Korea, read something like Travis Jeppesen's book or Andrei Lankov's North of the DMZ. Lankov speaks Korean, which makes his account so much more helpful and thoughtful than Simmons'.

Yes, we get it, N. Korea has dysfunction everywhere. But so does the US. So do many countries. Dysfunction is not in itself "funny." Nor is repeating the same joke the entire book funny (dunking on the North Korean guides she is spending time with, people ostensibly not responsible for the state their country is in). Nor does using quotes from Lewis Carroll and Alice in Wonderland make you deep/insightful.

You wrote a dreadful book because no one ever told you that you are not funny and no one was brave enough to edit you when you wrote this book, which, come to think of it, is a true joke. Next time, pick a subject you know something about. Ten days in North Korea and zero research on your part does not a book make. It might have made a good magazine article, if you knew to write about the subject more and about yourself less.

[Sally Bennett · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to the Audible version of this book and it was amazing. Had it not been for her prolific use of the f-word, I would have given this book five stars. I honestly don't see how that language enhanced the book, but it's her book, so there it is.

Her descriptions of everything she saw, heard, and suspected kept me riveted. While I've not done as much traveling as the author has, I've done quite a lot and I share her love of and reasons for it. Most of us will never make our way to NoKo (I love that moniker) so experiencing it through her honest observations and experiences is the next best thing. I was astonished by the things she saw, the people she met, and by some similarities to what I experienced in China: the "handler" who'd wanted to be a vet but the government told him he had to be a tour guide; the lack of running water and T.P.; and the feeling of coming home to a 4th of July like none other.

And just when you think you can't possibly be blown away by her stories any further, just wait until you hear about her return to Brooklyn and the woman getting the pedicure next to her.
Read/listen to the book. It's time beautifully spent.

[Deborah Blanchard · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a book that I found to be quite entertaining to read. I laughed out loud, a lot. It was witty and humorous , but also, heartwarming. You could tell how much empathy the author felt for the North Korean people. It is well written and flows well. I loved all the pictures. They gave you some sense of what North Korea is like. They seem to live on a different plane of existence. You really have to read this book to get a good sense of what I am talking about. I really enjoyed how she used quotes from Lewis Carroll's Alice In Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass, at the beginning of each chapter. They kind of captured how surreal of a place North Korea is. I truly enjoyed this book. I recommend everyone read it. True entertainment and I learned a lot that I did not know.
Thank you to Kelly Leonard , Digital Marketing Strategist, for allowing me the privilege of this gift of a book.