The Revolution Starts at Home: Confronting Partner Abuse in Activist Communities

by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha (Editor), Ching-In Chen (Editor), Jai Dulani (Editor)

Genres: Nonfiction, Activism, Relationships, Social Justice, Feminism, Politics, Gender

111 pages, Unknown Binding

About the author

Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha is a Toronto and Oakland-based poet, writer, educator and social activist. Her writing and performance art focuses on documenting the stories of queer and trans people of color, abuse survivors, mixed-race people and diasporic South Asians and Sri Lankans.

Reviews

[ash | songsforafuturepoet · Rating 4 out of 5]

A much-needed initiative on the community's voices on addressing IPV in activist communities. The essays delved into accountability, strategic restorative justice, and supporting survivors of violence. Even more powerful was the open sharing of the difficulties of talking about and dealing with the fact that someone doing good, a fellow activist, was hurting you or someone else. Often people who perpetrate IPV do not perpetuate violence on other people, as it is about the power and control they could exert on their partner. People who perpetuate violence have friends who love them, teams they work well with, peers who respect them, and family who care about them. Which is what makes it so hard sometimes to believe that they are capable of violence, manipulation, control.

As the activist circle is often small and interwoven in many ways, and because of the nature of it being an activist space, the damage is compounded. Some authors shared having to leave an activist space because the perpetrator is part of the space. Others explored setting boundaries (which often are breached), such as not speaking on the same panels, or being in the same spaces, or contributing to the same zine. Some communities, unable to handle what happened, may inevitably victim blame or put the onus on the survivor to navigate interactions after that, with little support given. Some chose to believe the perpetrator or continue to support the perpetrator with the knowledge that they messed up but yet is a person still needing support.

The focus for this zine is to explore a more strategic way of handling the aftermath that involves the whole community. If there was a safety plan, the community is to be aware of and be part of it in some way. Language used around the situation or to talk about the situation has to be sensitive and trauma-informed, for example, using 'person who perpetrates violence' instead of 'abuser'. The activist community, coming from an understanding of structural oppression, explores accountability that involves alternatives that doesn't involve the state, such as calling the police, or getting a protection order, knowing that often the state is violent towards especially minorities. There has to be support for the survivor but also support for the perpetrator, to learn and grow, but also especially if they come from a place of hurt, such as having an abusive home themselves, or being in poverty.

The zine also talks about the difficult decisions the authors had to face when coping with the aftermath. How someone had to go against what they believe to report their partner to the police for their safety. How the community reacted to that, split between those who were sympathetic and those who were not. How some survivors found it hard to speak up knowing that their partner does so much good work in the community. Interpersonal relations and existing power dynamics, such as the survivor being white and cis, while the perpetrator was brown and trans, adding to the difficulty of reaching out to seek help.

Overall, a good read. Knowing that we are all working towards being better helps.

[Sohum · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of the white queer writers seemed excessively guilty about their abusive relationships w queers of color but in general this was decent enough.

[Nic · Rating 3 out of 5]

There was some useful information and ideas in here but I was hoping for more of the "how-to" promised in the intro and less of the triggering, depressing personal stories. That's just my preference - not saying it's wrong but this is like the third thing in a row I've read that had a ton of stories about violence and abuse and I don't find it helpful. I believe victims/survivors, I don't need to hear all the details of their abuse to believe them or understand the situation they were in.

I liked the essays that focused on what different communities tried to do to practice transformative justice and really appreciate that they included what worked and what didn't. Though it was hard reading all the details of everyone's stories, it was validating in that I've experienced mild forms of predation and manipulative behavior from other queer people more marginalized than me and have had a difficult time processing it. It was a good reminder to trust my gut and not get wrapped up in identity when things feel off. Boundaries are not oppression!

[Garden Utensil]

noting:
"I married a marxist monster" by Ziggy Ponting
"Philly's pissed and beyond" by Timothy Colman
"femora and fury: on IPV and disability" by Peggy Munson
"untitled" by Emily Stern
"taking risks: implementing grassroots community accountability strategies" by a collective of women of color from Communities Against Rape and Abuse (CARA)

found online that CARA disbanded - curious to learn more about what the organizers are doing now, if anything. also would like to learn more about why they disbanded, what happened, if the organizers would revise any part of their original organizing strategy

[Holden Wall · Rating 4 out of 5]

wonderful theories and stories about transformative justice and community accountability as well as self-accountability! i really enjoyed most of the book, but there were some portions that did leave me a bit on edge in terms of language that is outdated or reflects common terf ideas. Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha addressed this in an introduction written almost ten years after the book was originally published, but i was still uncomfortable at some points

[Kathleen]

Not something I would recommend lightly, but very useful in framing discussions of abuse in our communities. The collection has many stories and examples. I'm also reading Beyond Survival which is the next generation of this project, I believe.

[Ilina Krishen]

Content and trigger warnings for discussion of community harm, assault, harassment and abuse. Take your time reading, take breaks, rest and possibly prepare to return to this zine more than once.

[Cole Jack · Rating 4 out of 5]

This collection provides a combination of essays, recollections, calls to action, and resources around intimate partner violence (IPV). I was impressed with the pointed focus on finding support and making sure the perpetrator stays accountable when the perpetrator is also member of the same community (e.g. both members of social justice movements, queer community, etc.).

This is a resource worth reading. It loses a tiny portion of a star because of editing issues scattered throughout, which I'm sure was fixed in the published non-zine form of the text, and for some of the problematic language used in "Femora and Fury" around crip identities.