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Mother Tongue: My Family's Globe-Trotting Quest to Dream in Mandarin, Laugh in Arabic, and Sing in Spanish
One woman’s quest to learn Mandarin in Beijing, Arabic in Beirut, and Spanish in Mexico, with her young family along for the ride.
Imagine negotiating for a replacement carburetor in rural Mexico with words you’re secretly pulling from a pocket dictionary. Imagine your two-year-old asking for more niunai at dinner—a Mandarin word for milk that even you don’t know yet. Imagine finding out that you’re unexpectedly pregnant while living in war-torn Beirut. With vivid and evocative language, Christine Gilbert takes us along with her into foreign lands, showing us what it’s like to make a life in an unfamiliar world—and in an unfamiliar tongue.
Gilbert was a young mother when she boldly uprooted her family to move around the world, studying Mandarin in China, Arabic in Lebanon, and Spanish in Mexico, with her toddler son and all-American husband along for the ride. Their story takes us from Beijing to Beirut, from Cyprus to Chiang Mai—and also explores recent breakthroughs in bilingual brain mapping and the controversial debates happening in linguistics right now.
Gilbert’s adventures abroad prove just how much language influences culture (and vice versa), and lead her to results she never expected. Mother Tongue is a fascinating and uplifting story about taking big risks for bigger rewards and trying to find meaning and happiness through tireless pursuit—no matter what hurdles may arise. It’s a treat for language enthusiasts and armchair travelers alike.
Imagine negotiating for a replacement carburetor in rural Mexico with words you’re secretly pulling from a pocket dictionary. Imagine your two-year-old asking for more niunai at dinner—a Mandarin word for milk that even you don’t know yet. Imagine finding out that you’re unexpectedly pregnant while living in war-torn Beirut. With vivid and evocative language, Christine Gilbert takes us along with her into foreign lands, showing us what it’s like to make a life in an unfamiliar world—and in an unfamiliar tongue.
Gilbert was a young mother when she boldly uprooted her family to move around the world, studying Mandarin in China, Arabic in Lebanon, and Spanish in Mexico, with her toddler son and all-American husband along for the ride. Their story takes us from Beijing to Beirut, from Cyprus to Chiang Mai—and also explores recent breakthroughs in bilingual brain mapping and the controversial debates happening in linguistics right now.
Gilbert’s adventures abroad prove just how much language influences culture (and vice versa), and lead her to results she never expected. Mother Tongue is a fascinating and uplifting story about taking big risks for bigger rewards and trying to find meaning and happiness through tireless pursuit—no matter what hurdles may arise. It’s a treat for language enthusiasts and armchair travelers alike.
336 pages, Hardcover
First published May 17, 2016
26 people are currently reading
1411 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 81 reviews
April 1, 2020
I was initially intrigued by this book because my husband and I have a desire to raise children that are not only multilingual, but multicultural (the author does a great job at differentiating between the two in her book). I found her stories interesting but not what I was hoping for. In addition, after doing extensive research on this family and their work in general, I found quite a few contentious bits of info. Allegedly, this couple has sold online workshops and other products to consumers and never delivered on these sales. There's an actual Facebook group with nearly 1,000 members dedicated to people who were scammed by the Gilbert family. This information put a total damper on the latter half of the book (I discovered the scamming halfway in) and I felt the author's tone change in my mind after that.
Furthermore, I felt that the author was slightly obnoxious in her overbearing, paranoid, motherhood martyrdom. I mean, she literally packed up and moved to Thailand on a whim just because her nanny in Beijing let her son cry for an hour. Before that incident, she worried way too much over taking a walk in the street for an hour without her son. "What will he do without me?!" she said, to which the husband replied, "The nanny and I will both be here." I kept wondering, "How does this lady live like that? How does their marriage survive like that?" Later it was explained that the author had a really crappy mother, so I understood her need to overcompensate with her own children later in life, but it still irritated me (especially after reading the book Bringing Up Bebé by Pamela Druckerman, a book by an American raising children in France - HIGHLY RECOMMEND).
Gilbert's experiences abroad were, overall, interesting to read about (especially the ones in Beirut) but I often wondered why she did not include more anecdotes of their family's interaction with locals and friends they made overseas. Did they even make friends? The family seemed to cloister themselves wherever they lived (especially the husband and especially in Beijing). While the wife drilled on in each locale with 40+ hours a week of language instruction, I often wondered what the heck her husband and kids were doing to become multicultural? You can live in a foreign country forever and not learn much unless you put yourself out into society. In Beirut, she mentions that she stayed after Arabic class many days to talk to her teacher about Islam, which is great, but I didn't read once about them having friends in Beirut or going to another family's house for dinner, etc. Gilbert didn't report ever visiting a mosque or anything either, despite all her questions about Islam. In general, I would say this is totally ok, but it's not ok if your goal is to become a multicultural human being. I kept asking myself, "She can study Arabic anywhere in the world...why do it all the way in Beirut if she isn't going to do much else other than go to class with other ex-pats?" That is hardly a good way to meet Lebanese people. Sure, the family went to markets and restaurants (because they had to) but I was hoping for more stories of social immersion.
Lastly, I was really looking for some kind of advice on how to live a life with kids abroad, but I did not find it here. No tips, tricks, or anything of the sort. So in that respect, the book was useless to me as a mother who is hoping to some day move abroad with my 4 kids.
I wouldn't say you should *not* read this book, but you DEFINITELY should not pay for it, considering the allegations against the author for doing some pretty shady stuff. Dig a little online and you'll see. Thankfully, I was able to read it for free. It wasn't a horrible book by any means (the author's language was sometimes quite funny and entertaining) but it just wasn't for me.
Furthermore, I felt that the author was slightly obnoxious in her overbearing, paranoid, motherhood martyrdom. I mean, she literally packed up and moved to Thailand on a whim just because her nanny in Beijing let her son cry for an hour. Before that incident, she worried way too much over taking a walk in the street for an hour without her son. "What will he do without me?!" she said, to which the husband replied, "The nanny and I will both be here." I kept wondering, "How does this lady live like that? How does their marriage survive like that?" Later it was explained that the author had a really crappy mother, so I understood her need to overcompensate with her own children later in life, but it still irritated me (especially after reading the book Bringing Up Bebé by Pamela Druckerman, a book by an American raising children in France - HIGHLY RECOMMEND).
Gilbert's experiences abroad were, overall, interesting to read about (especially the ones in Beirut) but I often wondered why she did not include more anecdotes of their family's interaction with locals and friends they made overseas. Did they even make friends? The family seemed to cloister themselves wherever they lived (especially the husband and especially in Beijing). While the wife drilled on in each locale with 40+ hours a week of language instruction, I often wondered what the heck her husband and kids were doing to become multicultural? You can live in a foreign country forever and not learn much unless you put yourself out into society. In Beirut, she mentions that she stayed after Arabic class many days to talk to her teacher about Islam, which is great, but I didn't read once about them having friends in Beirut or going to another family's house for dinner, etc. Gilbert didn't report ever visiting a mosque or anything either, despite all her questions about Islam. In general, I would say this is totally ok, but it's not ok if your goal is to become a multicultural human being. I kept asking myself, "She can study Arabic anywhere in the world...why do it all the way in Beirut if she isn't going to do much else other than go to class with other ex-pats?" That is hardly a good way to meet Lebanese people. Sure, the family went to markets and restaurants (because they had to) but I was hoping for more stories of social immersion.
Lastly, I was really looking for some kind of advice on how to live a life with kids abroad, but I did not find it here. No tips, tricks, or anything of the sort. So in that respect, the book was useless to me as a mother who is hoping to some day move abroad with my 4 kids.
I wouldn't say you should *not* read this book, but you DEFINITELY should not pay for it, considering the allegations against the author for doing some pretty shady stuff. Dig a little online and you'll see. Thankfully, I was able to read it for free. It wasn't a horrible book by any means (the author's language was sometimes quite funny and entertaining) but it just wasn't for me.
July 11, 2020
Only two pages in I knew that I was going to deeply dislike the author, but I persisted anyway out of morbid curiosity. I have no energy to fully express how unlikeable and ridiculous this woman is - but a quick Google search will provide all you need to know about her lack of morality.
The story begins with her deciding to move with a two-year-old to Beijing in the winter, without researching anything about the country. She is then shocked to discover that winter in Beijing is cold (who would've thought!?) and that the city is polluted. Again, shocker.
She gives up and decides to move to Beirut, again, without bothering to Google anything about the location. Despite political unrest unfolding around her, and despite the fact that her toddler is barely able to string together two words due to the trauma of constantly hopping between cultures, she insists on staying so she can learn Arabic.
Finally, she goes to Mexico where she happily pays a housekeeper $2 an hour to clean her entire home and garden, as if not providing a living wage is just one of the "perks" of living in Mexico. Again, her child is traumatized by the lack of cultural stability and outright refuses to speak Spanish until the very end.
The entire book focused around the author's language learning experiment and barely touched upon the lasting effects it would have on her children. Her son barely interacted with anyone outside of her household until they moved to Mexico.
As someone who grew up in a bilingual and bicultural household, I read this book with shock and disgust. She chose these languages seemingly at random based on what would be the most impressive languages for her children to learn, rather than the most useful or enjoyable. They spend months each year in Thailand, but the thought never occurs to her to learn Thai until the very end.
What I found more grating than her utter lack of common sense or preparedness were her snide remarks about the cultures she was experiencing. For someone who wanted to raise a global family, she definitely had a lot of negative things to say. She seemed to harbor a bizarre hostility towards the Chinese and never bothered to learn about their culture and way of living, and expressed annoyance that they didn't understand her ways.
In short, this book was a waste of time and the equivalent of reading a hostile, slightly xenophobic Trip Advisor review from a spoiled American. I wouldn't recommend reading it unless you want a quick rise in blood pressure.
The story begins with her deciding to move with a two-year-old to Beijing in the winter, without researching anything about the country. She is then shocked to discover that winter in Beijing is cold (who would've thought!?) and that the city is polluted. Again, shocker.
She gives up and decides to move to Beirut, again, without bothering to Google anything about the location. Despite political unrest unfolding around her, and despite the fact that her toddler is barely able to string together two words due to the trauma of constantly hopping between cultures, she insists on staying so she can learn Arabic.
Finally, she goes to Mexico where she happily pays a housekeeper $2 an hour to clean her entire home and garden, as if not providing a living wage is just one of the "perks" of living in Mexico. Again, her child is traumatized by the lack of cultural stability and outright refuses to speak Spanish until the very end.
The entire book focused around the author's language learning experiment and barely touched upon the lasting effects it would have on her children. Her son barely interacted with anyone outside of her household until they moved to Mexico.
As someone who grew up in a bilingual and bicultural household, I read this book with shock and disgust. She chose these languages seemingly at random based on what would be the most impressive languages for her children to learn, rather than the most useful or enjoyable. They spend months each year in Thailand, but the thought never occurs to her to learn Thai until the very end.
What I found more grating than her utter lack of common sense or preparedness were her snide remarks about the cultures she was experiencing. For someone who wanted to raise a global family, she definitely had a lot of negative things to say. She seemed to harbor a bizarre hostility towards the Chinese and never bothered to learn about their culture and way of living, and expressed annoyance that they didn't understand her ways.
In short, this book was a waste of time and the equivalent of reading a hostile, slightly xenophobic Trip Advisor review from a spoiled American. I wouldn't recommend reading it unless you want a quick rise in blood pressure.
June 25, 2018
Public Service Announcement - for the love of God, stop forcing your children to learn languages that you have no idea about yourself. I picked up this book because it was recommended to me by a friend who thought I'd enjoy it since I have direct experience studying the three languages the author tortured her child into learning - namely Spanish, Arabic and Mandarin. Understand that with Spanish you may be functional after one year, which isn't a tremendous sunk cost should you decide to abandon it. Arabic is a commitment of 5-10 years, and Mandarin likely upwards of that. More than anything, you MUST have a very strong desire and drive to study these languages, because there are many, many, MANY times you will want to abandon your work and focus on something more worth your while, like chewing your knuckles or staring at the ceiling (I speak from personal experience).
This memoir of pathological parental ambition is modeled is half "Eat, Pray, Love", half instant coffee mind (nothing requires mastery), and is infuriating in its complete lack of awareness of what ultimately motivates one to learn a language in the first place - it should be some affinity to the culture. If a child is too young to have it, it would help if the parents have ANY affinity themselves, enough to cultivate it in a child. My father did this for me with the Dalmatian language, a dialect of Croatian I had no contact with in real life since I was living in Libya at the time. But the joy with which he pronounced (or sang) the words in Dalmatian has given me a life long love for the language and the culture.
As a reader, I should have a good sense of what drives the main character to do what they do - this is missing in "Mother Tongue" - other than possibly trying to give her kid a leg up on the kindergarten competition. She embarks her family on a senseless journey into the "pollution" of China for a short sojourn so they can all become more "fluent" (whatever that means). The journey doesn't go over so well - Mandarin, come to find out, is a tough language to grasp, the local tutors are insufferable/abusive, and the family is quickly poised for an "escape from Alcatraz" out of their linguistic hellhole. Arabic, of course, suffers the same fate. By the time they decide as a family to focus on Spanish, you'll be ready to throw the book across the room as I was.
The lesson I learned from this speed date style linguistic "memoir" and best advice I can give to parents is to help your kids grow a natural curiosity for the world - it will prove to be fertile soil on which all seeds can grow.
This memoir of pathological parental ambition is modeled is half "Eat, Pray, Love", half instant coffee mind (nothing requires mastery), and is infuriating in its complete lack of awareness of what ultimately motivates one to learn a language in the first place - it should be some affinity to the culture. If a child is too young to have it, it would help if the parents have ANY affinity themselves, enough to cultivate it in a child. My father did this for me with the Dalmatian language, a dialect of Croatian I had no contact with in real life since I was living in Libya at the time. But the joy with which he pronounced (or sang) the words in Dalmatian has given me a life long love for the language and the culture.
As a reader, I should have a good sense of what drives the main character to do what they do - this is missing in "Mother Tongue" - other than possibly trying to give her kid a leg up on the kindergarten competition. She embarks her family on a senseless journey into the "pollution" of China for a short sojourn so they can all become more "fluent" (whatever that means). The journey doesn't go over so well - Mandarin, come to find out, is a tough language to grasp, the local tutors are insufferable/abusive, and the family is quickly poised for an "escape from Alcatraz" out of their linguistic hellhole. Arabic, of course, suffers the same fate. By the time they decide as a family to focus on Spanish, you'll be ready to throw the book across the room as I was.
The lesson I learned from this speed date style linguistic "memoir" and best advice I can give to parents is to help your kids grow a natural curiosity for the world - it will prove to be fertile soil on which all seeds can grow.
May 1, 2016
Very American view of the world.
March 24, 2017
Alternate title "how one mother dragged her child across the world to places she hadnt researched bc ...ridiculous reasons"
Yes its great to think/speak in multiple languages but this seemed a bizarre reason to just ...go... and make things even more difficult by not researching and preparing adequately. I had high hopes and my low rating is likely bc i felt very disappointed in the execution of this ?memoir. Felt like reading 'eat pray love with a child'
Yes its great to think/speak in multiple languages but this seemed a bizarre reason to just ...go... and make things even more difficult by not researching and preparing adequately. I had high hopes and my low rating is likely bc i felt very disappointed in the execution of this ?memoir. Felt like reading 'eat pray love with a child'
May 21, 2024
A highly-motivated, Type-A idiot decides to move her and her family around to a bunch of different countries that she knows little about in order to get them to learn their language; she does so because she thinks that this will help her children avoid dying from dementia. She ends up only learning Spanish, a language she had already studied. Yes, it is all very stupid.
This book begins in Barcelona, with Gilbert humble bragging about how great her Spanish is. Even this early in the book, I was already perplexed by how clueless Gilbert was in terms of culture...talking about how great your Spanish is while you're in a city where Spanish is probably not the mother tongue of most people. But those are the sort of massive cultural subtleties that Gilbert tends to miss.
Before she ever went on this silly journey with her family, the family was in Cairo with Gilbert suddenly deciding that she wants her and her family to learn Chinese, Arabic and Spanish in country. Other than avoiding dementia, the only real reason she gives for deciding on these languages is because they have the largest numbers of speakers (other than Hindi, which she does not explain why she doesn't want her kids to learn). Then, they moved to Chiang Mai, in northern Thailand to make their plan for how they were going to do all this (again, this move is unexplained). In Chiang Mai, they find a home, settle down and Gilbert raids an office supply store, filling her new home with whiteboards to plot out how to conquer Mandarin, Arabic and Chinese.
The book is crap for a variety of of reasons. She never really adequately explains why her family is going to do this. She says it is because she read some research that language learning helps avoid dementia and that she also read that children have a sweet spot where they can learn a language without really trying. Both of these claims are dubious, and the fact that she spends eighteen months of her life doing anything just because of these two claims demonstrates how much of a lunatic she is.
Another reason this book is crap is because her journey is so narcissistic. She does not decide to learn these languages because she has an attachment to the places or wants to meet the people who live there. The motivation is entirely internal, she wants to hit this goal she has imagined as important for showing off how great her kids are. At times, it feels like she is having mommy-wet-dreams about showing off her children's language abilities at Manhattan's priciest Kindergarten.
For all the travel credentials she has, she seems pretty globally illiterate. Not only does she brag about her Spanish in Barcelona, she claims to do all research to prepare for the trip, white boards from Office Depot filling her tuktuk in Chiang Mai, but then they show up in Beijing in the middle of winter and are surprised by how bad the pollution is. This book was published in 2016, I am assuming she did this around 2014, 2013 was the year of the airpocolypse in Beijing, and for years before that the American media had been writing weekly stories about air pollution in China (it was frequently the only thing that they wrote about China). Ten minutes of research would have found this out.
Finally, Gilbert just seems like the kind of person I would not want to be around. She is bossy (she pushes her family to make these major life changes with little buy-in from them), and she is more Type-A than a lawyer on speed.
Read 30%.
PS - Try Kunming if you want a nice place to study Mandarin, where the weather is decent and the pollution is manageable.
This book begins in Barcelona, with Gilbert humble bragging about how great her Spanish is. Even this early in the book, I was already perplexed by how clueless Gilbert was in terms of culture...talking about how great your Spanish is while you're in a city where Spanish is probably not the mother tongue of most people. But those are the sort of massive cultural subtleties that Gilbert tends to miss.
Before she ever went on this silly journey with her family, the family was in Cairo with Gilbert suddenly deciding that she wants her and her family to learn Chinese, Arabic and Spanish in country. Other than avoiding dementia, the only real reason she gives for deciding on these languages is because they have the largest numbers of speakers (other than Hindi, which she does not explain why she doesn't want her kids to learn). Then, they moved to Chiang Mai, in northern Thailand to make their plan for how they were going to do all this (again, this move is unexplained). In Chiang Mai, they find a home, settle down and Gilbert raids an office supply store, filling her new home with whiteboards to plot out how to conquer Mandarin, Arabic and Chinese.
The book is crap for a variety of of reasons. She never really adequately explains why her family is going to do this. She says it is because she read some research that language learning helps avoid dementia and that she also read that children have a sweet spot where they can learn a language without really trying. Both of these claims are dubious, and the fact that she spends eighteen months of her life doing anything just because of these two claims demonstrates how much of a lunatic she is.
Another reason this book is crap is because her journey is so narcissistic. She does not decide to learn these languages because she has an attachment to the places or wants to meet the people who live there. The motivation is entirely internal, she wants to hit this goal she has imagined as important for showing off how great her kids are. At times, it feels like she is having mommy-wet-dreams about showing off her children's language abilities at Manhattan's priciest Kindergarten.
For all the travel credentials she has, she seems pretty globally illiterate. Not only does she brag about her Spanish in Barcelona, she claims to do all research to prepare for the trip, white boards from Office Depot filling her tuktuk in Chiang Mai, but then they show up in Beijing in the middle of winter and are surprised by how bad the pollution is. This book was published in 2016, I am assuming she did this around 2014, 2013 was the year of the airpocolypse in Beijing, and for years before that the American media had been writing weekly stories about air pollution in China (it was frequently the only thing that they wrote about China). Ten minutes of research would have found this out.
Finally, Gilbert just seems like the kind of person I would not want to be around. She is bossy (she pushes her family to make these major life changes with little buy-in from them), and she is more Type-A than a lawyer on speed.
Read 30%.
PS - Try Kunming if you want a nice place to study Mandarin, where the weather is decent and the pollution is manageable.
January 29, 2016
*I received this book for free through Goodreads Giveaways*
This book was okay but it was just okay, there was nothing enlightening or earth-shattering about it. It's a very personal memoir that, despite what it says in the synopsis, has little to offer in terms of general world knowledge; things are quite specific to the author and her husband who, unlike most people anywhere, have the financial means to just pick up and move to another country time and time again. It's hard to find anything to take away from it except maybe don't isolate yourself from all Americans in foreign countries but don't only stick with Americans either.
This book was okay but it was just okay, there was nothing enlightening or earth-shattering about it. It's a very personal memoir that, despite what it says in the synopsis, has little to offer in terms of general world knowledge; things are quite specific to the author and her husband who, unlike most people anywhere, have the financial means to just pick up and move to another country time and time again. It's hard to find anything to take away from it except maybe don't isolate yourself from all Americans in foreign countries but don't only stick with Americans either.
October 23, 2017
I picked this book up because language learning is something that interests me, even if I'm not very good at it. Mother Tongue is Christine's account to achieve 'a level of fluency' of Chinese, Arabic, and Spanish by spending about 6 months in China, Lebanon, and Mexico.
Since Christine only studied Spanish before the experiment, I was quite skeptical about whether this could be done. After 6 months of intensive Japanese, I could get around and go on a holiday, but I definitely would not describe myself as having achieved 'a level of fluency'.
To spoil the book,
Interspersed with her account of how she tried to raise trilingual kids is her research on how we learn languages. I was pleased to know that Professor Cook, who is 'one of the foremost respected second-language acquisition academics in the world' recommends immersion + formal instruction in learning a foreign language, which is how I learned Japanese.
There are also plenty of musings on language and culture in the book, as Christine learns and considers the impact of culture on learning a language, whether being bilingual means that you're automatically bicultural, and if living overseas automatically means you have to either live like a native or in an expat bubble or if you can find your own balance.
I found this to be an interesting read. Christine was very honest about her failures and this led me to celebrate her successes with her. While the reason for this experiment was to make her son bilingual, I felt that there was more focus on her language journey. I think that resonated more than me than a story on how to teach your kids a second language would, but if you're a parent looking for ways to raise bilingual kids, you may not find many ideas here.
If you're interested in learning a new language or you're learning one, you may be interested in this book. I really enjoyed reading this and it made me more determined to make sure that I don't forget my Japanese after I move back.
Quotes I liked:
This review was first posted at Inside the mind of a Bibliophile
Since Christine only studied Spanish before the experiment, I was quite skeptical about whether this could be done. After 6 months of intensive Japanese, I could get around and go on a holiday, but I definitely would not describe myself as having achieved 'a level of fluency'.
To spoil the book,
Interspersed with her account of how she tried to raise trilingual kids is her research on how we learn languages. I was pleased to know that Professor Cook, who is 'one of the foremost respected second-language acquisition academics in the world' recommends immersion + formal instruction in learning a foreign language, which is how I learned Japanese.
There are also plenty of musings on language and culture in the book, as Christine learns and considers the impact of culture on learning a language, whether being bilingual means that you're automatically bicultural, and if living overseas automatically means you have to either live like a native or in an expat bubble or if you can find your own balance.
I found this to be an interesting read. Christine was very honest about her failures and this led me to celebrate her successes with her. While the reason for this experiment was to make her son bilingual, I felt that there was more focus on her language journey. I think that resonated more than me than a story on how to teach your kids a second language would, but if you're a parent looking for ways to raise bilingual kids, you may not find many ideas here.
If you're interested in learning a new language or you're learning one, you may be interested in this book. I really enjoyed reading this and it made me more determined to make sure that I don't forget my Japanese after I move back.
Quotes I liked:
"If you learn another culture, it changes you. I mean, it'll start with trivial things like words for new concepts that you didn't have before. I don't think that you start off wanting to change, you start off wanting to learn, and the learning itself changes you."
"[Y]ou have to fall in love with the culture to learn it."
This review was first posted at Inside the mind of a Bibliophile
March 19, 2018
Really wasn’t impressed until the final chapter when she wound it all up.
October 25, 2022
I always enjoy a travel memoir. This one has the added topics of language learning and parenting mixed in, which was interesting.
Read
June 17, 20192019-Interesting premise (moving to 3 different countries to immerse themselves in the local language), although I questioned the author's choices sometimes and the dialogue could be a bit stilted.
July 13, 2016
I couldn't help but be jealous of Christine Gilbert, the author! What an adventure that I wouldn't dare attempt--especially living in Beirut! I really enjoyed reading about Gilbert's experiences as she worked towards being multilingual. I felt better about my own language experiences in China. The taxi drivers ignored her attempts to communicate just as they had ignored mine, and now I know I am not the only one who has grown weary of being corrected over and over and over and over on the pronunciation of a single Chinese syllable! One of the biggest takeaways I got from reading this book besides sheer reading enjoyment was proof that simply living in a foreign country isn't a guaranteed fast and easy way to learn a language. The Gilberts' experience in China illustrates to me that in order to learn a language one needs to be able to interact a lot in the beginning with at least one, preferably more, patient speakers of the language. Simply living in a country and trying to listen and learn isn't enough. A solid language base needs to be formed first before the big benefits come from immersion. Fortunately, with technology, one can find patient language teachers and practice partners while living anywhere now! I don't have to go to China to learn Chinese! I can learn via the internet! The author's Arabic learning fared better because she took a class and therefore had a patient speaker with whom to practice. She didn't write about having too many language interactions with native speakers outside of class, therefore showing that the immersion didn't help her too much at the beginning. Sadly, the Gilberts ended up having to leave for safety reasons just when the immersion would have started being really helpful. The Gilberts' Spanish learning went very well in Mexico because Christine had already previously learned some Spanish and although much of it had been forgotten the vocabulary came back fast and then she was able to be that patient speaker for her husband and son, while she went on to increase her vocabulary and improve her fluency interacting with the natives.
If adventure, travel, and languages interest you this is fun read!
If adventure, travel, and languages interest you this is fun read!
May 31, 2016
I completely randomly discovered Christine Gilbert's blog just a few days before this book came out - because my husband and I just took our first trip to Europe together, loved it and wanted to figure out a way how to get back for a longer amount of time, and when I Googled how to live in Europe, one of Christine's blog posts popped up.
I really enjoyed the book, though at times I thought, what is she thinking/doing?? I still don't have a complete grasp on the logistics of how she and her husband both work full-time jobs (though self-employed, they have to get work done to make money; and at some points she was spending between half and all of the day on language study) and are stay-at-home parents. Unless he does most of his work after the kids' bedtime. That aside, I found the author and her family very relatable, if a bit less risk-averse than I am! I admired the way she dove right in to her language experiment and corrected course along the way. I'm currently trying to figure out some variation on her theme and find a way to live in another country with my family, even if "only" for a year or two. I already know that I will not be immersing my children in Mandarin :).
I really enjoyed the book, though at times I thought, what is she thinking/doing?? I still don't have a complete grasp on the logistics of how she and her husband both work full-time jobs (though self-employed, they have to get work done to make money; and at some points she was spending between half and all of the day on language study) and are stay-at-home parents. Unless he does most of his work after the kids' bedtime. That aside, I found the author and her family very relatable, if a bit less risk-averse than I am! I admired the way she dove right in to her language experiment and corrected course along the way. I'm currently trying to figure out some variation on her theme and find a way to live in another country with my family, even if "only" for a year or two. I already know that I will not be immersing my children in Mandarin :).
March 4, 2016
*I received this book for free through Goodreads Giveaways*
This book was a great fit for me. I am a German expat living in the US, we homeschool and also raise our children bilingual. I was very interested to read about her ideas to raise her children in a more multi-cultural approach and be bilingual or even trilingual herself. The book itself was a quick, fun read, and I enjoyed her memoirs about living abroad and learning these languages. Overall there was not much new information that I was not aware of before, since I have studied and read much before about the subject in general and some parts in the book could have possibly benefited from a bit more, newer research or explanation. The book also reminded me that learning a new language is often so much more than just learning how to speak it, it is learning about the people and culture that makes it fun and exciting ! The book left me with a happy feeling, reminding me that we live in a beautiful world full of amazing people that is left to us to explore !
This book was a great fit for me. I am a German expat living in the US, we homeschool and also raise our children bilingual. I was very interested to read about her ideas to raise her children in a more multi-cultural approach and be bilingual or even trilingual herself. The book itself was a quick, fun read, and I enjoyed her memoirs about living abroad and learning these languages. Overall there was not much new information that I was not aware of before, since I have studied and read much before about the subject in general and some parts in the book could have possibly benefited from a bit more, newer research or explanation. The book also reminded me that learning a new language is often so much more than just learning how to speak it, it is learning about the people and culture that makes it fun and exciting ! The book left me with a happy feeling, reminding me that we live in a beautiful world full of amazing people that is left to us to explore !
June 30, 2019
Christine Gilbert takes us on a journey of learning to speak the language in China, Lebanon and Mexico with the intention of immersing herself and her children in a world where they speak many languages. Along the way, Christine's quest shows us the power of setting an intention and a challenge that will stretch you as a human being. What are we here for if not to challenge ourselves? Climb a mountain. Run a marathon. Build a house. Experience different cultures. Start a non-profit. Write a book. Whatever your quest is, begin it today! One of the things I love about this book is how Christine shows us the challenges she didn't expect and how she reached for something and allowed it to change and expand her. Also, Drew is an amazing partner. We all need people and community to reach for our dreams. It is more meaningful to share our journey with each other.
March 30, 2016
I don't know what I was expecting when I started Mother Tongue, but I was pleasantly surprised. First, the novel was unexpectedly honest. Christine Gilbert writes about every aspect of her experiment, even the failures, stress, and uncomfortable moments. Second, She includes a lot of her research on how people learn languages and the benefits of being bilingual and bi-cultural. Finally, the story was entertaining. I wanted to know what happened next. I don't know if I'd pick up and move to a new country just to learn a language, but I related to her language learning struggles and it reminded me of some of my family who've lived abroad. All this talk about traveling makes me want to plan a trip ...
P.S. I won this book through a goodreads giveaway.
P.S. I won this book through a goodreads giveaway.
June 23, 2016
This was a fun trip through the author's experiment with second language acquisition- both child and adult. It was great to see her bring in research and her own experience and reflection on what worked, didn't, and why. She was thoughtful and honest about their lives and challenges but I found it very uplifting and inspiring to pick up my language studies again and set my sights on living in a foreign country. She did a marvelous job writing the book and it blends theory, practical knowledge, and insight in a fascinating read.
December 5, 2016
Absolutely enthralling.
June 29, 2020
As a polyglot, I hoped to learn personal perspectives to instill love of language in my children. The book is borderline condescending and lacks cultural sensitivities. I would not recommend it.
March 12, 2022
If you have any experience with language learning, it immediately becomes clear that this woman's plan is at best half-baked and poorly researched and at worst obnoxiously hubristic and ignorant. If you know about language learning, it will annoy you, if you don't, it will present a spectacularly terrible example of how to approach a new language. I'm a teacher of French and Spanish, and my alarm bells started going off as soon as the author revealed her plan to learn Mandarin, Arabic and Spanish from beginner to proficient in 18 months. It's an absurdly unrealistic idea.
The author chooses Mandarin and Arabic with no knowledge of the cultures or process of learning those languages, and assumes that she and her child can learn them both to advanced proficiency in six months, despite the fact that the Foreign Service estimates 2200 hours each for both of those languages because of their difficulty level for English-speakers... which means the best case scenario is over a year to proficiency if you study like it's a full-time job (40 hours/week). She does have experience learning Spanish.
It's pretty insulting to people who have spent years immersing themselves in those cultures and steadily acquiring the language out of respect and love for them to assume you can dabble in them and emerge bilingual. It struck me as on par with believing you can become a professional-level athlete in three sports by spending a few months training for each of them. It just clearly can't be done, and it ignores the experiences of people who have put in the work. I found myself continually thinking: why does she think this will work?
If you wouldn't enjoy a memoir about someone deciding to qualify for the French Open in six months despite never having held a racket or shown any interest in tennis and then predictably failing at it, don't bother with this book.
Also the author's very premise - that a few months of language immersion as a toddler will mean you are a native-level speaker of that language for life - is not accurate.
I don't usually bother writing detailed bad reviews, but I found so much of this book ignorant, ridiculous and incomprehensible that I felt it was worth commenting on.
And as others have said, the author and her husband are apparently shysters who owe hundreds of people money they don't intend to pay.
The author chooses Mandarin and Arabic with no knowledge of the cultures or process of learning those languages, and assumes that she and her child can learn them both to advanced proficiency in six months, despite the fact that the Foreign Service estimates 2200 hours each for both of those languages because of their difficulty level for English-speakers... which means the best case scenario is over a year to proficiency if you study like it's a full-time job (40 hours/week). She does have experience learning Spanish.
It's pretty insulting to people who have spent years immersing themselves in those cultures and steadily acquiring the language out of respect and love for them to assume you can dabble in them and emerge bilingual. It struck me as on par with believing you can become a professional-level athlete in three sports by spending a few months training for each of them. It just clearly can't be done, and it ignores the experiences of people who have put in the work. I found myself continually thinking: why does she think this will work?
If you wouldn't enjoy a memoir about someone deciding to qualify for the French Open in six months despite never having held a racket or shown any interest in tennis and then predictably failing at it, don't bother with this book.
Also the author's very premise - that a few months of language immersion as a toddler will mean you are a native-level speaker of that language for life - is not accurate.
I don't usually bother writing detailed bad reviews, but I found so much of this book ignorant, ridiculous and incomprehensible that I felt it was worth commenting on.
And as others have said, the author and her husband are apparently shysters who owe hundreds of people money they don't intend to pay.
January 13, 2023
Okay, this book was a rough ride. The premise was extremely contrived and maybe informed by eat, pray love? She even has the same last name! The book begins with Gilbert explaining that she wants to give her brain a workout since it has been suggested that learning a foreign language could have positive implications in pushing back dementia. Apparently, it runs in her family. I think in general, apart from brain health, she admires bilingualism and as it turns out multi-culturalism. It is something she embraces for herself and it is her hope that her kids will grow up with a global outlook. This is something I really like and for those with a similar feeling, I really recommend Parenting Without Borders: Surprising Lessons Parents Around the World Can Teach Us, by Christine Gross-Loh. It is a fantastic source of inspiration!!
Anyway, the problem with this book is the premise. She chooses three random languages that she wants to have a working knowledge of within six months each... starting with Mandarin. Okay.... She then finds herself surprised that 1) beijing has a bit of a pollution issue, which is not good for her baby and 2) it is not easy to learn Chinese alone with your english-speaking husband in an apartment. She has better luck with Arabic, but again there is some serious cluelessness in those chapters as well. Readers will all wonder why she doesn't learn Thai if she desires a tonal language, since she loves Thailand and has some connection to the country (unlike Beijing where there is no connection and which she dislikes)... in the end, she and the family migrate back to the Spanish language, which seems to be a better fit for her since she studied it in high school and also it is not quite as impossible a goal. The family finally moves from Mexico to Spain. When I tried to google her to see how her languages were going after she wrote this book, I read some disturbing things about her old website and scamming people. The book itself seemed a bit of a scam or at least very contrived. I did appreciate the many interviews with experts on language acquisition...
Anyway, the problem with this book is the premise. She chooses three random languages that she wants to have a working knowledge of within six months each... starting with Mandarin. Okay.... She then finds herself surprised that 1) beijing has a bit of a pollution issue, which is not good for her baby and 2) it is not easy to learn Chinese alone with your english-speaking husband in an apartment. She has better luck with Arabic, but again there is some serious cluelessness in those chapters as well. Readers will all wonder why she doesn't learn Thai if she desires a tonal language, since she loves Thailand and has some connection to the country (unlike Beijing where there is no connection and which she dislikes)... in the end, she and the family migrate back to the Spanish language, which seems to be a better fit for her since she studied it in high school and also it is not quite as impossible a goal. The family finally moves from Mexico to Spain. When I tried to google her to see how her languages were going after she wrote this book, I read some disturbing things about her old website and scamming people. The book itself seemed a bit of a scam or at least very contrived. I did appreciate the many interviews with experts on language acquisition...
October 8, 2020
When I got this book from the library (thank goodness I didn't pay for it), I expected a celebration of language and culture. What I got was a self-centred recounting of an American family's crash course through five different countries.
The author decides to move her husband and young (under one year old) son to Beijing, Beirut and Puerto Vallarta so that she and her son can learn Mandarin, Arabic and Spanish. She claims she wants to be changed by the cultures, but very little of the book is actually dedicated to discussing the culture of the countries she moved to. Instead, the entire book is "me, me, me." She spends the whole "China" section complaining about China and her Chinese tutors. She acts as though the place itself is the problem, while in reality it appears she did no research about Beijing and made no attempt to integrate beyond dressing like the "locals."
Except for a few lines in the "Beirut" section, she never acknowledges the massive privilege she has as a white American travelling around the world. There is so much woe-is-me in every chapter, but she also brags about how little she spends on foods, sundry, and home help. She had hired help in China and Puerto Vallarta, but still laments the fact that she was trying to do it all... She was studying languages 8 hours a day while her nannies cooked, cleaned and watched her child.
The booked rubbed me the wrong way from the beginning. Within the first few pages, she mentions that Catalan is Barcelona's second language, "depending on who you ask." The flippancy of the line shows her ignorance, and that attitude carries through the whole book. She shows so little respect for the cultures she's immersed in and the languages she's learning.
If you're an avid language learner yourself, you will be massively disappointed by this book. Gilbert lacks the cultural and self-awareness required to properly appreciate language and culture.
I give this book one star because I can't give it zero, and because the writing style was good. It's the only redeeming factor.
The author decides to move her husband and young (under one year old) son to Beijing, Beirut and Puerto Vallarta so that she and her son can learn Mandarin, Arabic and Spanish. She claims she wants to be changed by the cultures, but very little of the book is actually dedicated to discussing the culture of the countries she moved to. Instead, the entire book is "me, me, me." She spends the whole "China" section complaining about China and her Chinese tutors. She acts as though the place itself is the problem, while in reality it appears she did no research about Beijing and made no attempt to integrate beyond dressing like the "locals."
Except for a few lines in the "Beirut" section, she never acknowledges the massive privilege she has as a white American travelling around the world. There is so much woe-is-me in every chapter, but she also brags about how little she spends on foods, sundry, and home help. She had hired help in China and Puerto Vallarta, but still laments the fact that she was trying to do it all... She was studying languages 8 hours a day while her nannies cooked, cleaned and watched her child.
The booked rubbed me the wrong way from the beginning. Within the first few pages, she mentions that Catalan is Barcelona's second language, "depending on who you ask." The flippancy of the line shows her ignorance, and that attitude carries through the whole book. She shows so little respect for the cultures she's immersed in and the languages she's learning.
If you're an avid language learner yourself, you will be massively disappointed by this book. Gilbert lacks the cultural and self-awareness required to properly appreciate language and culture.
I give this book one star because I can't give it zero, and because the writing style was good. It's the only redeeming factor.
January 6, 2025
I picked up this book for a reading challenge I’m doing this year and I kind of wish I hadn’t. I’m bilingual and bi-cultural and I’ve lived in different countries and visited more. And, quite honestly, this book wasn’t what I was expecting it to be.
I expected a memoir and I feel like the author tried that in this book. However, I felt like I encountered a first world person, driven by the fear of ever having Alzheimer’s disease and dragging a half reluctant husband and small child across the world in an effort to add more years to her life, in case she ever got the disease her grandfather did. Now, as memoirs go, the stories are entertaining and because it was someone else’s experience you expect to be surprised by their life’s choices. But, I wasn’t prepared for the constant and berating crash course on the technicalities of language learning that she sprung on me in the middle of the pages. I thought memoirs were stories about life. But, I could be wrong.
The whole feel I got from the author was that she didn’t even want to admit her fears to her ever-indulging husband, and plunged her family into disaster choices that could’ve been avoided by asking for help, instead of winging it macho-style because you’re going to force yourself to learn that participar language. Because you’re also afraid your toddler may get the disease. I’ve been to China. And how you could plan a long term stay without taking the culture and lifestyle into consideration, is confusing, to say the least. She seemed to realize this and wrapped up the book nicely with the admittance of how she’d gone wrong with her decisions. However, the cute ending was cut short after finding out that they never stayed settled in Barcelona, but are still traveling the world. So, in the end, I’m not sure what the point of this book was. But, memoirs aren’t made for making points, right? So, there’s that. Read at your own risk.
I expected a memoir and I feel like the author tried that in this book. However, I felt like I encountered a first world person, driven by the fear of ever having Alzheimer’s disease and dragging a half reluctant husband and small child across the world in an effort to add more years to her life, in case she ever got the disease her grandfather did. Now, as memoirs go, the stories are entertaining and because it was someone else’s experience you expect to be surprised by their life’s choices. But, I wasn’t prepared for the constant and berating crash course on the technicalities of language learning that she sprung on me in the middle of the pages. I thought memoirs were stories about life. But, I could be wrong.
The whole feel I got from the author was that she didn’t even want to admit her fears to her ever-indulging husband, and plunged her family into disaster choices that could’ve been avoided by asking for help, instead of winging it macho-style because you’re going to force yourself to learn that participar language. Because you’re also afraid your toddler may get the disease. I’ve been to China. And how you could plan a long term stay without taking the culture and lifestyle into consideration, is confusing, to say the least. She seemed to realize this and wrapped up the book nicely with the admittance of how she’d gone wrong with her decisions. However, the cute ending was cut short after finding out that they never stayed settled in Barcelona, but are still traveling the world. So, in the end, I’m not sure what the point of this book was. But, memoirs aren’t made for making points, right? So, there’s that. Read at your own risk.
May 6, 2018
I expected this to be a story of someone living in different places, effortlessly picking up various languages wherever she went. I wanted to know what her secrets were to becoming a polyglot. Instead this was an account of the difficulties the author faced when trying to learn a new language, which made it a much more interesting and authentic read. She integrated lots of research on language acquisition from the perspective of adults and children, and how a variety of factors play a role in achieving fluency in another language.
I was able to draw many connections between the author's experiences and research. My first language is Cantonese, but living and being educated in the West meant that English soon became the language I was most comfortable with. I learned Mandarin as a young adult, and despite having some background in the Chinese language, my Mandarin is nowhere as good as my Cantonese or English. As an adult, I've dabbled in different languages, trying to learn French and Japanese hirigana with very limited success. It was reassuring to read this book and to identify with the frustrations the author experienced.
This is a great read for parents who wanting their children to become bilingual; it highlights the fact that it is a big sacrifice on the parents' part to provide their children with an environment in which they will become not only bilingual but also bicultural. This is especially relevant to second and third generation immigrant families as they struggle to hold on to their ancestral languages while living in a mainstream society where they are in the minority.
I was able to draw many connections between the author's experiences and research. My first language is Cantonese, but living and being educated in the West meant that English soon became the language I was most comfortable with. I learned Mandarin as a young adult, and despite having some background in the Chinese language, my Mandarin is nowhere as good as my Cantonese or English. As an adult, I've dabbled in different languages, trying to learn French and Japanese hirigana with very limited success. It was reassuring to read this book and to identify with the frustrations the author experienced.
This is a great read for parents who wanting their children to become bilingual; it highlights the fact that it is a big sacrifice on the parents' part to provide their children with an environment in which they will become not only bilingual but also bicultural. This is especially relevant to second and third generation immigrant families as they struggle to hold on to their ancestral languages while living in a mainstream society where they are in the minority.
December 26, 2021
This is a tricky book to review. It has a nice writing style that draws the reader in. It is an interesting concept, of traveling the world to different places to immerse in the languages. A lot of the descriptions of places, and particularly food, made me wish I could travel there right now. And I learned a lot about language acquisition. But there was something lurking in the attitude behind the adventure that sort of irked me. I also realize that this was an experiment for Christine Gilbert and her family, so I don't want to judge them too harshly; however, the way Gilbert approached her experience in China in particular bothered me. There can be really cool things that come out of dropping into a new place without knowing what to expect and figuring it out as you go, but it seemed like their family dropped into Beijing and then were shocked by the pollution and cold, which essentially trapped them in their apartment and they didn't actually experience life in China. Then the cultural barriers they experienced frustrated them so much that they just suddenly left. Cultural adjustment is always going to be difficult, but from the start, they could have had a much better understanding of even the climate they were moving into, and maybe that would have led to different choices and they could have had a better experience. And instead of seeing it that way, it seemed like Gilbert was just soured on China for the rest of time. I think there's some really interesting storytelling coming through that experience, but again, it was just sort of tainted for me by the attitude behind it.
May 22, 2017
I picked this book up on a whim because I love to travel, love to learn languages, and to read about other people's experiences learning languages and travelling the world. This was a very interesting read and I like Gilbert's thinking that she wants to live around the world, learn new languages, and also have her children be bilingual or trilingual. I myself am bilingual, Polish and English, so this was a treat to read some of the research scholars have done throughout the years on languages. I think that if Christine and her family maybe went to China in a different time of the year they would have had a different experience. I liked reading about their experiences in Beirut and Mexico the most. I didn't like however that sometimes Christine would think that just because people did not speak English to her very well or were not native speakers they would not understand her or the shortcut words she used. Also, I think she put too much pressure on her son, mainly because he is just a toddler and he does not have a full vocabulary to use yet like she does with a fully developed brain. I think he was doing a great job and living in these different countries and experiencing these different languages and cultures will definitely help him later in life. I wonder if he remembers anything written in the book?
Overall, I really did enjoy reading this book and I applaud Christine in setting this language and cultural goal for herself! I think she also finally found her niche in Barcelona and I hope she writes more books about her traveling and language experiences.
Overall, I really did enjoy reading this book and I applaud Christine in setting this language and cultural goal for herself! I think she also finally found her niche in Barcelona and I hope she writes more books about her traveling and language experiences.
May 21, 2018
Mother Tongue is a pleasant and honest account of a monolingual mother's fascination of multilingualism, and her pursuit to become fluent (hate this word!) in three of the most useful languages in the world, all in dragging her husband and toddler to places that seem ideal for her 2 year immersion experiment.
It's just that, it's very much Christine's experiment. The beginning of the book describes why most all decisions in their couple are made by her. But in fact, the husband has no voice at all. She feels a bit of a nag and it comes through in her writing. He agrees to travel where she wants to, and is relieved when she decides to leave. For me, it takes a bit of umph out of the family's journey. The mission seems off kilter from the start. As Christine finds out when her husband starts to enjoy Mexico, there is an infinite amount of strength and support in both parents' committing to the journey of multilingualism. It is only when Drew is committed to learning Spanish (unlike the other languages), that he falls in love with the culture (or maybe his love for Mexico drives his language learning). That, to me, is when the story gets interesting and he starts taking risks (finding new tires in Spanish!). As Christine rightfully states: "You have to fall a little in love with the culture to learn [a language]."
CHINA
On paper, Christine did all the right things in order to learn Mandarin. She is terribly type A - admittedly like me. (I am quite sure she had a plan to write this book as this experiment was dreamt up as well). That said, I think this family might have simply lacked a good friend in China, able to take them outside their high-rise and bring them to a place of fondness for the culture. The author feels like China and her don't click, but I wonder if that would have come given enough time. Our first 6 months in China weren't all that glorious either. It takes lots of perseverance, humility and time to bridge the gap between our culture and one so different to our native one. I can't help but wonder if her spouse had been more invested, how that would have changed their Beijing experience.
LEBANON
I admire her determination not to give up on language learning, following a soured experience. But then, the Beiruti experience, despite the joy found in group classes, again lacked a cultural guide to connect the dots between aquisition and use. Maybe they could have made up for that participating in a local activity (cooking class, visiting with the neighbors, hanging out with the chess players...).
MEXICO
The family not only clicks more with this culture and language, but they are invested with their family as forerunners into Mexican culture this time. Doesn't it make all the difference to raise kids in a different culture, sending them to school and having to figure it all out? It gets you out of our idealistic books to actually using our language.
THAILAND
The new countries the family experiences are intertwined with stays in Thailand - the low lying fruit for language learning right at their fingertips, in a setting they love, but yet Christine doesn't consider learning Thai until the end of the book. It's a little sad, but it reflects how many monolinguals view language learning. Little language: little use! I don't think the one review was fair when stating: "A very American way of viewing the world". But I understand what they meant. I point to a more monocultural approach to the world, that is ironed out over time of living outside of our culture that toughens our skin, allowing us to grow in patience and relaxes our desire to "check off" countries and languages, taking what we need rather than pouring back in. Christine is still in the check off mode, to get the tee-shirt.
Finally, I think Christine's most insightful statement came towards the end:
"If you don't have a burning desire and a real-world application of the language, then you can only hold open the space for an exercise in futility for so long. Your arms get tired. You relax. The whole thing falls down."
Indeed, you can't expect to learn language in a sterile [wo]man-made bubble, void of community and without reason to use it. Their kids being involved in the culture made all the difference. "The most exciting and meanginful thing I [did] with my life was to settle down in a thriving city by the sea, become part of the community, and raise my kids."
After seeing all the work put into painstakingly creating this life for her family, this book made me very thankful to grow up multilingually and multiculturally. It would have been interesting for Christine to have waited a few years to print the book, so the reader could feel the contrast with language learning in a more natural setting in their newfound life in Barcelona - this time, with the whole family of five (welcome, Tallulah!) onboard. It feels like it was published a bit prematurely. From our experience with life in France, life gets good when each person is running in stride in their different language-learning journeys. And at some point, you don't really need to talk about achieving it anymore. It's just something you do. ;-)
It's just that, it's very much Christine's experiment. The beginning of the book describes why most all decisions in their couple are made by her. But in fact, the husband has no voice at all. She feels a bit of a nag and it comes through in her writing. He agrees to travel where she wants to, and is relieved when she decides to leave. For me, it takes a bit of umph out of the family's journey. The mission seems off kilter from the start. As Christine finds out when her husband starts to enjoy Mexico, there is an infinite amount of strength and support in both parents' committing to the journey of multilingualism. It is only when Drew is committed to learning Spanish (unlike the other languages), that he falls in love with the culture (or maybe his love for Mexico drives his language learning). That, to me, is when the story gets interesting and he starts taking risks (finding new tires in Spanish!). As Christine rightfully states: "You have to fall a little in love with the culture to learn [a language]."
CHINA
On paper, Christine did all the right things in order to learn Mandarin. She is terribly type A - admittedly like me. (I am quite sure she had a plan to write this book as this experiment was dreamt up as well). That said, I think this family might have simply lacked a good friend in China, able to take them outside their high-rise and bring them to a place of fondness for the culture. The author feels like China and her don't click, but I wonder if that would have come given enough time. Our first 6 months in China weren't all that glorious either. It takes lots of perseverance, humility and time to bridge the gap between our culture and one so different to our native one. I can't help but wonder if her spouse had been more invested, how that would have changed their Beijing experience.
LEBANON
I admire her determination not to give up on language learning, following a soured experience. But then, the Beiruti experience, despite the joy found in group classes, again lacked a cultural guide to connect the dots between aquisition and use. Maybe they could have made up for that participating in a local activity (cooking class, visiting with the neighbors, hanging out with the chess players...).
MEXICO
The family not only clicks more with this culture and language, but they are invested with their family as forerunners into Mexican culture this time. Doesn't it make all the difference to raise kids in a different culture, sending them to school and having to figure it all out? It gets you out of our idealistic books to actually using our language.
THAILAND
The new countries the family experiences are intertwined with stays in Thailand - the low lying fruit for language learning right at their fingertips, in a setting they love, but yet Christine doesn't consider learning Thai until the end of the book. It's a little sad, but it reflects how many monolinguals view language learning. Little language: little use! I don't think the one review was fair when stating: "A very American way of viewing the world". But I understand what they meant. I point to a more monocultural approach to the world, that is ironed out over time of living outside of our culture that toughens our skin, allowing us to grow in patience and relaxes our desire to "check off" countries and languages, taking what we need rather than pouring back in. Christine is still in the check off mode, to get the tee-shirt.
Finally, I think Christine's most insightful statement came towards the end:
"If you don't have a burning desire and a real-world application of the language, then you can only hold open the space for an exercise in futility for so long. Your arms get tired. You relax. The whole thing falls down."
Indeed, you can't expect to learn language in a sterile [wo]man-made bubble, void of community and without reason to use it. Their kids being involved in the culture made all the difference. "The most exciting and meanginful thing I [did] with my life was to settle down in a thriving city by the sea, become part of the community, and raise my kids."
After seeing all the work put into painstakingly creating this life for her family, this book made me very thankful to grow up multilingually and multiculturally. It would have been interesting for Christine to have waited a few years to print the book, so the reader could feel the contrast with language learning in a more natural setting in their newfound life in Barcelona - this time, with the whole family of five (welcome, Tallulah!) onboard. It feels like it was published a bit prematurely. From our experience with life in France, life gets good when each person is running in stride in their different language-learning journeys. And at some point, you don't really need to talk about achieving it anymore. It's just something you do. ;-)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 30, 2023
A travel memoir of the author's poorly planned misadventures in China, Egypt, Lebanon, Thailand, Mexico and Spain.
With all of the tortured descriptions of her intensive language learning research, you'd think she would have bothered to look up how difficult the languages were or what living in the various countries would be like. Her reasons for doing so were never made fully clear, or maybe they were so flimsy that they didn't register to me at all. All of the flighty decisions made her come off as extremely immature and unlikeable, especially for a parent of two.
I felt pretty bad for her at times, despite the self-imposed predicaments. She and her children should probably go to therapy. Her husband should also get therapy and ADHD medication, as her description of his inability to live in a clean environment, do common tasks and drive is rather worrying (especially since she insists on him driving anyway)...
With all of the tortured descriptions of her intensive language learning research, you'd think she would have bothered to look up how difficult the languages were or what living in the various countries would be like. Her reasons for doing so were never made fully clear, or maybe they were so flimsy that they didn't register to me at all. All of the flighty decisions made her come off as extremely immature and unlikeable, especially for a parent of two.
I felt pretty bad for her at times, despite the self-imposed predicaments. She and her children should probably go to therapy. Her husband should also get therapy and ADHD medication, as her description of his inability to live in a clean environment, do common tasks and drive is rather worrying (especially since she insists on him driving anyway)...
April 4, 2023
As an expat, this book rubbed me the wrong way at every turn. The author bizarrely brags about her American attitudes and arrogance, the kinds of approach that the rest of World genuinely loves to hate. Their family experiment does an injustice to the deep intercultural experiences and friendships which blossom despite language barriers in the fullness of time. Bilingualism is about communicating with people and is a very meaningful thing for those who live in mixed families around the world, not some flashy achievement you decide to do on a whim so you stave off dementia like the immigrant Finnish grandfather you didn't even know?? The writing Emily in Paris level, good description despite itself. However I wish I hadn't even been exposed to the vapid premise of this memoir as it reminds me of all the worst parts of American cosmopolitanism.
January 13, 2018
As a travel and language enthusiast, I found the concept of this memoir (a family living in three different countries and attempting to learn the local languages by immersion) appealing. It was well-paced and filled with humorous moments and some interesting insights into different cultures. However, the focus on pregnancy and parenthood in the last third didn't interest me so much. And while Gilbert did interview and reference several high-profile linguists, the book ultimately didn't offer much in the way of actionable advice on language learning.
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