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269 pages, Paperback
First published November 5, 2015
I don't feel I was taught how to make empowered choices about sex; I knew what went where, how to avoid getting an STI or getting myself pregnant, but I had no idea about how to explore my own sexuality, how to speak about sex or how to ask for what I did or didn't want. I wasn't told what an abusive relationship looked like, or a healthy one; I didn't know what constituted sexual violence -- and often I don't think my sexual partners did either. From speaking to other women and reflecting on my own past experiences I have come to realise that there are a huge number of women and girls who think that sexual violence is normal; we come to both accept it and expect it, often without acknowledging it for what it is.
Somewhere in the grey area between saying yes or no is that murky water filled with hurt and uncertainties that we need to illuminate with honest conversations about sex, power and sexual violence, and a willingness to look at our own actions and how they affect other people...