Езикът на тялото в любовта

by Allan Pease, Лиляна Лакова (Translator)

Езикът на тялото е основен елемент в ухажването, защото показва дали сме свободни и привлекателни, доколко сме благоразположени, ентусиазирани, секси или отчаяни. Докато едни сигнали за ухажване са обмислени и се научават, други са напълно несъзнателни. Все още не е изяснено как точно ги научаваме, но изследвания по въпроса показват, че много от тях са вродени. Те играят съществена роля в изграждането и запазването на една връзка, защото ни позволяват да създадем хармония и развием чувствителност, които са ни нужни, за да се направим взаимно щастливи. Всеки може да се научи да разчита сигналите.

"Езикът на тялото в любовта" ще ви даде отговори на някои от най-озадачаващите въпроси, които някога сте си задавали за другия пол, и завинаги ще промени собственото ви поведение. Сякаш винаги сте били в тъмна стая, в която сте опипвали мебелите, предметите, които са закачени на стените и вратата, но никога не сте ги виждали как точно изглеждат. Тази книга ще е за вас нещо като светване на лампата, за да видите нещата, които винаги са били там. Сега обаче ще знаете какви точно са те, къде са и какво можете да правите с тях. Вие и вашият любовен живот ще сте благодарни за това.

Алън и Барбара Пийз са автори на едни от най-добрите книги, третиращи взаимоотношенията в бизнес среда. Зад гърба си имат 15 бестселъра. Книгите им са преведени на много езици и са продадени в тираж над 25 милиона. По тях са създадени девет телевизионни сериала, пиеса и филм, гледан досега от над 100 милиона зрители.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Relationships, Personal Development, Love

160 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2012

About the author

Allan Pease is an Australian author and motivational speaker. Despite having no education in psychology, neuroscience, or psychiatry, he has managed to establish himself as an "expert on relationships".

Originally a musician, he became a successful life insurance salesman, he started a career as a speaker and trainer in sales and latterly in body language. This resulted in a popular sideline of audio tapes, many of which feature his irreverent wit.

His best-selling book Body Language brought him international recognition. It has been followed by several others. He is quite well known in Australia and during the 1980s he was an occasional TV analyst for political debates where he would analyze the body language and overall performance of the contestants.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allan_Pease

Reviews

[BookCupid · Rating 1 out of 5]

Don't think a whole book should be dedicated on this subject, and here is why:

The Pease authors duo gives us a few examples of how women can attract men. Such as not crossing their ankles or arms. Where to point your feet. How close can you get to your ''love prey'' and lastly how to dress so the opposite sex finds you more approachable (beware of too much cleavage).

The rest of the book just advised women to act shy and for men to speak with a deep voice (can this even be helped?)

And then began the constant repetitions. I feel like this book is written for a 12-year-old, because if these examples are things you don't already know, then you need to go out more.

[Sanjay · Rating 2 out of 5]

It a book that contains good illustrations. Read it while in the book store. Overall its OK. Contains witty explanations.

[Pavi · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good overall, a bit sexist at some points.
It would need to be a bigger text to also refer to the reasons why "most men are like this" and why "most women do that". It points to some facts but does not really delve into the understanding of why is society as it is.
At some points it even stretches it a bit far. It clearly states that men should wear expensive clothes. Well, really? of course, if I had to choose between someone wearing a suit and someone in a McDonald's attire, I would choose the first one. People, men and women alike, don't look sexy in over-sized baseball shirts, or in McDonald's working attire. Why do MEN have to wear expensive clothes only? what about those girls out there that are into hippies and rockstar- wannabes?

I would also like to have a list of references at the end of the book for all the researches that are mentioned in the text, but that's just me I guess.

[Razmuzeta · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you read first The Ultimate Book of Body Language by the same autors, this book has no new info for you. It s a kind of resume of the chapter on courtship gestures. It s not about reading bodylanguage in couples, but more a self help book in how to pick up someone at a party.

[Moonlight · Rating 1 out of 5]

Мужчины и женщины. Мы такие разные, но все же такие одинаковые.
Иногда слова излишни , если человек способен понять «язык тела» друго человека. Но легко ли это сделать , с закрытыми глазами? Иногда , мы пропускаем так легко распознающие сигналы другого человека, только лишь потому что не открыты , получать эти сигналы. Отношения, это труд . Многие с этим не согласятся , но я уверенна, что поддерживать огонь в горящем костре, возможно только , если ты подкидываешь поленья. Сидеть и наблюдать, как что-то рушиться или как что-то не смогло сложиться, является виной двух ленивых людей, не способных работать над собой и вкладывать себя в другие отношения.
Кому читать? Книга совершенно не информативная, как по мне подойдёт 15 летним подросткам , узнать лучший способ привлечь внимание парня/девушки из соседнего подъезда. Язык нашего тела или язык любви- намного глубже и интереснее мелких сигналов , как направление ног или скрещивание рук на груди... мы раскрываемся , хаотично, на подсознательном уровне, даем огромное количество сигналов тому, кто нам нравится, нежели несколько примитивных. Все таки человечество эволюционировало, (не все конечно )мы на пару ступеней выше нежели наши далекие предки, и говорить о том, что существует несколько сигналов , совершенно примитивных , было бы глупо, что и повествует данная книга .
Men and women. We are so different, but still the same.
Sometimes words are superfluous if a person is able to understand the "body language" of another person. But is it easy to do this with your eyes closed? Sometimes, we skip the recognizable signals of another person so easily, just because they are not open, to receive these signals. Relations, this is work. Many will disagree with this, but I am sure that it is possible to keep fire in a burning fire, only if you throw up logs. To sit and watch, how something to crumble or as something could not develop, is the fault of two lazy people who are not able to work on themselves and invest themselves in other relationships.
To whom to read? The book is not at all informative, as for me it will suit 15 year old teens, to find out the best way to attract the attention of a guy / girl from a neighboring entrance. The language of our body or the language of love is much deeper and more interesting than small signals like the direction of the legs or the crossing of hands on the chest ... we unfold, chaotically, at a subconscious level, giving a huge number of signals to someone we like rather than somewhat primitive. All the same, mankind evolved, (not all of course) we are a couple of steps higher than our distant ancestors, and to say that there are several signals, completely primitive, it would be silly that this book narrates.

[Akanksha Varma · Rating 2 out of 5]

The humour is the saving grace of the book, because some of the things begin to be repetitive after a while. Also, I wish they would have included more solid research in their works than just making it sound like self-help. Tolerable if you're terribly bored or so bad at dating that this stuff is not obvious to you.

[Sarah · Rating 1 out of 5]

Hilariously bad. Sexist, unscientific, full of misinformation.

You’ll notice if you go to the author’s page on GoodReads this is how he is described:

“Despite having no education in psychology, neuroscience, or psychiatry, he has managed to establish himself as an "expert on relationships”.”

The book is a mixture of incredibly obvious advice (people nod in conversations to show they're listening!) and then completely crazy ideas, for instance, this is what he says about smoking:
“Smoke blown up: confident, superior, positive; smoke blown down: negative, secretive, suspicious”

Here's some wonderful information for women:
"To some men, when a lady says 'no' she means maybe; when she says 'maybe', she means 'yes': but if she says 'yes', she's no lady."

Apparently women caress their handbags to show interest in men:
"A woman's handbag is a personal item that's treated as if it's an extension of her body and so it becomes a strong signal that she's interested when she puts it close to a man. If she finds him particularly attractive, she may slowly fondle and caress her handbag.”

And men sit with their legs over the arms of chairs to signify "ownership":
"Leg-Over-the-Arm-of-Chair
This is mainly done by men because it also uses the Legs-Spread. It not only signifies the man's ownership of the chair, it also signals that he has an informal, aggressive attitude."

This is one of my favorite quotes from the author:
"If you wear glasses you may sometimes feel as if you are looking at life through two toilet paper rolls, but you are percieved by others as being more studious and intelligent, particularly in the early stages of a meeting."
Who on earth thinks wearing glasses is like "looking at life through two toilet paper rolls"?!

Here’s some of the authors other books:
"Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps"
"Why Men Lie and Women Cry"
"Why Men Don't Have A Clue & Women Always Need More Shoes"
"Why Men Can Only do One Thing At A Time and Women Never Stop Talking"
...Not exactly promising titles.

[Roxana · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this book deserves 3 and a half stars.

All the info in this book is contained in the which I recommend you to read more than I do this one.

I think it's very important to know how to read the body language of others because their gestures speak more than their words and you can undertand very easily what's on other people's minds (especially when they try to hide their intentions).

If you are interested only in this chapter - the body language of love - this book is all you need (half a star goes to the funny illustrations), but, again, I recommend you read the book Body Language, because you will find a lot more interesting facts about body language in every field - relationships, career etc.

[Milica · Rating 1 out of 5]

The book offers nothing new on an already vastly discussed topic. The main points can be summed up in a sentence - men are atrocious listeners and don't pay attention to detail, but women should accept that and focus on looking good. The entire premise of this advice, although still mostly true in modern society, perpetuates misogyny and the idea that people, men and women, are unable of true change. The style of writing is juvenile and empty. There are pages and pages of words that ultimately say nothing at all. After reading it, you have no impression that you learned anything at all. Overall, underwhelming and amateurish.

[Elaine · Rating 2 out of 5]

Honestly, I’m not such a fan of these types of books. Well, it is enlightening to know how to interpret a certain mannerism but I don’t think it applies to everyone else. The tips the book provides for maintaining a healthy relationship is also passe, it has already been handed out and discussed a million times in different talks and books so I don’t find it that appealing anymore. But if you’re a curious reader, go on and have a good read.

[هشام بوشنافة الادريسي · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pone el enfoque en aspectos de comunicación entre sexos opuesto; en los que yo ni me fijaba.
Muy recomendable.

[Stamen Stoev · Rating 2 out of 5]

Първо, опасявам се да би ревюто да е по-дълго от книжката.

Второ, очаквах повече. Концепцията и насоката е добра. Алън и Барбара Пийз имат мн��го книги разнищвайки езика на тялото. И може би тук идва проблемът. Казвам "може би", защото тепърва ще чета "Най-новата книга за езика на тялото" и "Войната за... тоалетната чиния" на същите автори. И все пак ми се струва, че книгата е написана с цел пари (те всички книги са написани с такава цел, но знаете какво имам предвид). Типичното доене на "лилавата крава". Най-вероятно в гореспоменатите две ще е засегната и тази тема и е още по-вероятно "Езикът на тялото в любовта" да е извадка от тях, което ме разочарова. Защото темата има накъде да се развива. Но така е в корпоративния свят - потребителят трябва да бъде "издоен".

Книгата ми напомня като концепция на повечето книги на Робърт Кийосаки. Често примерите са еднакви, идеите са еднакви, но го забелязваш късно - когато си купил 5 примерно. Чудесен маркетингов продукт. Не, че няма какво да научиш, но в един момент се чувстваш ограбен.

Трето, опасенията ми се оказаха безпочвени. Ревюто приключи.

[Elisana]

En realidad, el libro se me "coló" en la biblioteca y pues ni modo de sacarlo y no leerlo.
Es interesante y si, pareciera de sentido común pero la verdad es que no. Creo que está escrito de una forma muy amigable y llevadera. Cómo diría un amigo de los círculos "en una sentada queda!". Quizá no está de más recomendarlo para los caballeros, aunque si creo que sirve para menos experimentados en muchas cosas.

Espero con ansia la lectura del siguiente libro del autor. En general creo que da muy buenos tips sobre lenguaje corporal.

[Reyhan Ismail · Rating 2 out of 5]

The Body Language of Love adalah buku karya Allan dan Barbara Pease ke-4 yang pernah saya baca setelah; Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps, Why Men Lie And Women Cry dan Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love.

Buku ini lebih membahas perbedaan sinyal bahasa tubuh yang diberikan antara laki-laki dan perempuan. Dengan ketebalan buku kurang lebih 150 lembar, Allan dan Barbara Pease mencoba menerjemahkan gestur bagaimana laki-laki dan perempuan dalam merespon sesuatu.

[Marlena · Rating 2 out of 5]

After reading The Definitive Book of Body Language from the same authors I was surprised that most of the book's knowledge is the same as in the previous book. Therefore Definitive Book has more pages. If I would recommend one of them definitely will be the first one. If you feel like you want study just the body language of love then this book is good for you :)

[Hawraki · Rating 2 out of 5]

يتناول الكتاب موضوع الاشارات الجسدية بين الجنسين، في اللقاءات والمواعيد الغرامية والظروف الملائمة لطلب الزواج. وجدت الكتاب سطحيًا ويتحدث عن البديهيات والأساسيات. وبسبب الفروق المجتمعية، لا يمكنني القول بأنه يمكني الاستفادة من الكتاب بنسبة كبيرة. حتى الرسوم التوضيحية ليست جميلة.

[Nicki Edwards · Rating 3 out of 5]

Im not sure how I feel about this book. At parts it seems so stuck in the cave man days and then parts just make sense. It’s written very much from a male perspective. Not sure I would recommend this book as a modern day help tool

[Gabinialna · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ta ksiazka jest tak plytka, seksistowska i mizoginistyczna a mimo to i tak somehow pokazuje, ze to mezczyzni sa podludzmi mniej rozwinietymi od kobiet, ze az nie wiem jaki talent trzeba miec by to osiagnac
And I've learnt nothing new

[Ana C · Rating 1 out of 5]

Perda de tempo, diferente do que o título da a entender, esse livro ensina muito pouco sobre leitura corporal. Um apanhado de pré julgamentos patriarcais
Livro escrito em 2012, mas mais parece vindo de 1992..

[nadja · Rating 2 out of 5]

knjiga koju cete procitati kroz par sati
moze da se procita ali nista specijalno
smatram da na ovu temu ima mnooogo boljih knjiga sa boljim nekim savetima i “forama”
ovde necete nikakve nove informacije od onoga sto vec znate iz svakodnevnog zivota

[Jelena Antic · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ima korisnik saveta. Stvari koje su osnovne.

[KStar · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not what i expected and slightly sexist

[Yllka · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book

[Madalina · Rating 1 out of 5]

La insistentele Corinei: done!

[RJ Eszura RJ Ibrahim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Love this book. Not too bad and they give tips on giveaway on unavailable men and women at parties.

[Yevhen Nesin · Rating 3 out of 5]

On the border of being very simple and short (which is cool) and too basic

[Achame · Rating 2 out of 5]

Err...buat aku buku ini kurang cocok sama budaya indo. Dan kurang diterapkan ke org indonesia.

[Lucia Rukia · Rating 3 out of 5]

*3,25* don't have a lot of new things from "Why men don't listening, women can't read maps"

[Ella Milevska · Rating 2 out of 5]

Book might be suitable for teenagers but not for adults.
I love Allan and Barbara Pease but this book is worthless.

[Ofili Uche · Rating 4 out of 5]

Insightful, accurate information, and interesting book to read. Could use more depth but ok as it is.