The Missing Kennedy: Rosemary Kennedy and the Secret Bonds of Four Women

by Elizabeth Koehler-Pentacoff

Rosemary Kennedy, younger sister of President John F. Kennedy, was lobotomized in 1941 at age 23. In 1959, she was put out of public view at a remote facility in rural Wisconsin, where, for more than twenty years, she remained unvisited by family and non-family alike, until 1962. Elizabeth Koehler-Pentacoff (Liz) and her parents were likely the first non-Kennedy family members to visit Rosemary following her lobotomy. Liz was niece to Rosemary’s caretaker, Sister Paulus, a Catholic nun at St. Colleta, and she visited Rosemary on a regular basis for the next thirty-four years. Through their friendship, Liz discovered the person many had forgotten or never known. In 2015, ten years after Rosemary’s death, Liz came forward with a fascinating book about the hidden daughter of America’s royal Kennedy family. “The Missing Rosemary Kennedy and the Secret Bonds of Four Women” is truly unique. It is an eyewitness account of Rosemary’s post-lobotomy years, the first published by a non-family member, and it’s augmented by nearly 100 never-before-seen pictures of Rosemary after she was lobotomized. Liz’s book sheds considerable light on so many questions, the four biggest • Why did no one visit Rosemary for more than two decades? • What quality of life did Rosemary lead after her lobotomy? • What should have been the correct diagnosis of Rosemary’s pre-lobotomy condition? • And in what ways did immense good come from Rosemary’s tragic life? This touching story of the intersection of two families will leave you with a unique portrait of the missing, but not forgotten, Kennedy.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, History, Memoir, American History, Disability, Biography Memoir

305 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 27, 2015

Reviews

[La Crosse County Library · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rosemary Kennedy was the third child and eldest daughter of Joseph and Rose Kennedy. She was a sister to John F. Kennedy and Robert Kennedy. An event at her birth left her with disabilities that scarred her for the rest of her life. In 1941, Joe Kennedy ordered Dr. Walter Freeman to perform a lobotomy on Rosemary, and it took a terrible toll.

Rosemary: The Hidden Kennedy Daughter by Kate Clifford Larson chronicles the story of Rosemary and how she did and did not fit into the Kennedy legacy. It shows her spirit as a young child and her beauty as a young, yet difficult debutante. It gives a look into her life at Saint Coletta’s near Jefferson, Wisconsin, the home where she spent the balance of her life.

The Missing Kennedy by Elizabeth Koehler-Pentacoff gives a more intimate look into the life of Rosemary and her time at Saint Coletta’s. The author’s aunt was a nun and a primary caretaker for Rosemary. The book is full of photos and memories of Rosemary from the perspective of the nuns and the Kennedy family.

Rosemary lived a quiet, gentle life in Wisconsin while taken care of by members of a loving institution. Several organizations and foundations were founded in her honor, including Camp Shriver, the Joseph P. Kennedy Jr. Foundation, and Special Olympics.

Both books are compelling reads about a beautiful young woman who had so much taken away.

-Sherri

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[Sara · Rating 1 out of 5]

I totally feel suckered. This book was horrible and not at all like I thought it would be. First of all, this is an extremely quick read with tons and tons of photos. I'm ok that it's a quick read - and I like the photos - but this is such a surface level read, it probably would have been better to read Wikipedia to find out more. There's very little effort here by the author to analyze what happened in this woman's life or provide any insightful information about her. Instead, the vast majority of the book is consumed by stories of the author's family history which I really didn't care to learn. Not only is the author's family NOT the Kennedys, the history is also quite boring! The author makes the mistake of believing that anyone would find her family history or personal religious/political beliefs interesting in a story that purports to be about the Kennedys.

Total bait and switch. Don't waste your time or money.

[Doreen Petersen · Rating 5 out of 5]

What happened to Rosemary Kennedy is a tragedy that need not have happened. I hope what her father allowed to happen to her haunted him all the days of his life and beyond.

[Nancy · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book could have used a strong editor. The story of the care and friendship Rosemary Kennedy received from the author's aunt, a nun, was interesting. But intertwining the Koehler family story with the Kennedys does not work, and parts of Rosemary's story, lost with Joe Kennedy's death, are weak and poorly executed. The story of Rosemary and Sister Paulus is inspiring, and at the end the author details the work the Kennedys have done on behalf of the mentally disabled. That is also inspiring how they turned a hidden family tragedy into action that has helped so many. Over all, a story that fills in some gaps but leaves much unanswered and doesn't live up to its promise.

[Meghan · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was disappointed in this book. The author tells us more about her own family, the Koehlers, than she really says about Rosemary. It's very short, 211 pages with lots of pictures, and at least half is spent on the authors family roots, how she grew up, and her nun aunt who did take care of "Rosie". There was a lot of this could have happened or Joe Kennedy might have been thinking like this. Author should have done some research about the Kennedys instead of just tossing in what she thought happened. The only good thing was that it only took about 2 hours to get through, but still 2 hours wasted.

[Bonnie · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Secrets Kept.

This is a revelation to me; who grew up hearing the Kennedy's are this and the Kennedy's are that. Such good Christians. I have chills at this story.
How horrible.
I am the daughter of a man who pressed clothes for his living. Worked hard. Long hours ...my parents provided for me and my 2 brothers on very little money.
They idolized the Kennedy's.
I'm glad the Kennedy kids brought light to the mentally disadvantaged (retarded), but my dad would not have liked them had he read this book.
Had he known JOE, butchered his daughter for his own gain. And hid her.
My brother was profoundly retarded. We never knew why.
Secrets.
But mom and dad kept him home.
It was hard.
One thing I cried about was for 20 years a mother doesn't know where her child is? And doesn't care to find out?
What a despicable jerk Joe kennedy was.
She was learning disabled.
All their money, and you couldn't keep her near family. You selfish jerk.
I'm very disappointed. Glad Rosemary got away from those cold parents.
Thanks to the nuns who did the parents job and showed Jesus love to her. Thanks to her nieces and nephews who seem more compassionate.
I've been to Hyannis ... I live in Kennedy country. They have lots of property, and Hyannis is away from Boston. Hide her there with a staff of nuns.
So sickening and sad. But a wake up call.
How many more secrets do the rich and famous have?
And who let Joe Kennedy play GOD?
Oh yeah the rich care!!!

[Melissa · Rating 1 out of 5]

Very interesting but not a lot of new facts. There is a lot of speculation by the author. The book also includes much about the author's life which is unnecessary and oddly placed. From the 1st page the book is confusing. The chapters don't gel and new people are not introduced sufficiently. Don't buy this book...wait for the next book to be published about Rosemary Kennedy.

[Joanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I admit it, I am one of those people who has always been fascinated with the Kennedy family. While I have grown increasingly aware of their faults over the years, I remain fascinated with their family ethos. Since my teenage years, I have read books about the family as well as biographies of various members of the family, but none of these books has ever revealed anything about the oldest daughter, Rosemary Kennedy. When I read a review of this book, my only thought in buying it was to learn more about her. What this book offers is so much more. Elizabeth Koelher-Pentacoff tells two stories for the price of one. She tells Rosemary's story simultaneously with that of her family, and, well, it just clicks. There are so many parallels that the reader begins to realize that what happened to Rosemary (while horrifying) actually probably ended up giving her a far better life than she ever would have had if she had stayed with her family in Boston. Even if you are not a Kennedy watcher as I have been, you may very well appreciate what this story has to offer. There is lots to share about faith, mental illness, family struggles, and love.

[Kristin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very misleading. I thought this would be a factual book with the sole subject being Rosemary Kennedy. The small title does read "the secret bond of four women", something I did not take notice of until I had already begun to read. The author, lacking information on Rosemary, filled her short book with information on her family's lives. While yes, one woman was actively involved with Rosemary, the rest did nothing to peak my interest since the main reason I picked up the book was to read about the "missing Kennedy". The rest of the women had some to little interaction with Rosemary and their information was too much on their own lives. There were cited sources, however there was far too much hearsay. The book was littered with phrases such as "Joe may have thought". If I wanted to read what might have happened, I'd read a gossip column. Very disappointed in this read. Thankfully it was short and full of pictures.

[Richard Baranski · Rating 1 out of 5]

Pure Apologetics

A true defense of the Kennedy's, especially Joe Sr. To put the blame of Rosemary's horrendous treatment and life on the doctor's of the time negates the political and social ambitions of the Kennedy clan. I was shocked to read that neither President Kennedy or his children found the time to visit Rosemary. While the Franciscan sisters did well for Rosemary they colluded with the family to keep Rosemary well hidden for years.

For the record, a novitiate is a place, people are novices!

[PinkAmy loves books, cats and naps · Rating 1 out of 5]

Elizabeth Koehler-Pentacoff, who was at best an acquaintance of Rosemary Kennedy, does her best to act as if she had closer insight into the Kennedy Family than anyone else with a modicum of research experience. Most insultingly Koehler-Pentacoff believes her brief misdiagnosis of epilepsy is on par with Rosemary’s lobotomy. The audiobook narration is awful too.

[Dona · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was overall very unsatisfactory. As much as I enjoy reading about the Kennedy's this story did not entertain or provide any real new information. I really didn't like the way she tried to pad the book with stories of her own totally unremarkable family.

[Janet C-B · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book a few months after reading a biography about the same person, Rosemary Kennedy.
Unlike other readers, I was critical of the other book, but generally positive about The Missing Kennedy: Rosemary Kennedy and the Secret Bonds of Four Women.

On this review, I will start with the negative. Somehow, I missed the fact that this was memoir about the author, who was a regular visitor to Rosemary Kennedy, during the author's childhood, teen, and young adult years. The relationship between the author amd Rosemary Kennedy, took place at St. Colletta's in Wisconsin, where Rosemary Kennedy lived for 20 years after her lobotomy.

The second negative was that the writing seemed disjointed. I had trouble figuring out where this was all headed. This may be because I had an electronic library copy of the book and had trouble finding the index.

This book seemed to be the flip side of the more recent publication, which was a biography of the life of Rosemary Kennedy, which to me, demonized the wealthy Kennedy family.

One major positive of this memoir is that it described Rosemary's mental retardation, mental illness and lobotomy, within the context of the historical period. The time frame of this book preceded early intervention for children with special needs, special needs education, and the availabilty of medications to treat mental illness (a problem which emerged when Rosemary was a young adult.)

This book also descibed the quality of Rosemary's life during the time she lived at St. Colletta's in WI. Rosemary had a loving, patient, primary caregiver for 2 decades. She was treated with a great deal of patience, respect, and recognition of what brought her pleasure in life. The caregiver provided those experiences that made Rosemary happy...swimming, eating in casual restaurants, window shopping, inclusion in the community of residents at St. Colletta's.

Another positive aspect of this memoir, described Rosemary's reintegration into the family life of the Kennedy clan with photos taken of her at the Kennedy compound in Hyannis, MA and photos that showed a warm relationship between Rosemary and several family members including her siblings Ethel and Ted, as well as a nephew.

The book highlighted the positive changes that came about as a result of the Kennedy family's experience with Rosemary including the Special Olympics, Best Buddies and other programs that are part of our current approach to people with special needs.

There were many photos of Rosemary Kennedy and various caregivers and family members. Rosemary's disabilities were unmistakeable, yet she was loved and accepted by her small network.

I give this book a rating of 4 stars, because the life of Rosemary Kennedy is put within the context of the times. Also the author has made connections with programs which exist today as a result of Rosemary's life experience.

[Rebekah · Rating 1 out of 5]

I couldn't even finish this ridiculous thing but I have to write a review and express my utter disappointment at it. It is poorly written, poorly organized, and even more poorly researched. To start, the writing and tone read like an extended high school essay, as though this book was meant for young readers rather than intelligent adults (a possibility I had to stop and consider when I was reading). There are also things the author states as fact that are truly nothing more than her own speculations and hearsay. Multiple times she states something that is in direct conflict with recorded history, such as her account of Rose Kennedy's treatment of her daughter. The author expects you to believe that Rose was a doting and loving mother who favored Rosie, completely ignoring the fact that this was a woman who shamelessly lamented in published interviews that her able-bodied sons had died, but her disabled daughter was still living. It would seem the author picked and chose only those facts which would support her version of events, or the postulations of her aunt. Even more galling is the fact that this account is quite obviously nothing more than a shameless attempt to cash in on the notoriety of the Kennedy clan and the tragic life of this member of the family in particular. Far more time is spent on the author and her family than the "Missing Kennedy" of the title whose gorgeous face graces the cover. The author simply uses her tenuous connection to this remarkable story to pull readers in to read familial histories and anecdotes. Large chunks of the book don't even feature Rosemary in any way. These sections don't even always concern the author's aunt who took care of Rosie, but the author herself or other obscure family members. If you want to read about the time the author got sick in high school, you're in luck, but if you wanted a reliable history of Rosemary and the other Kennedys, I suggest you look elsewhere.

[Lindsey · Rating 3 out of 5]

This took me 3.5 hours to finish and is mostly pictures. There are some major things I have wrong with this book:

1: the title is misleading and should be called "a memoir of my family's mental illness and myself and how my aunt cared for Rosemary".

2: 3/4 of the book was about the authors family and had absolutely nothing to do with the book. I get it that your fathers house burned down, but what does that have to do with your aunt being schizophrenic or yourself being epileptic?

3: there is not very much information about rosemary and her lobotomy. Seriously, it's one page.

4: I feel like the author used the Kennedy name to publish a book about her family's mental illness (which only one had met Rosemary).

5: the author goes off on tangents absolutely irrelevant to the book. Actually, I'm not sure what the subject is supposed to be.

Maybe if the author had instead presented this book as one about mental illness it would be more popularly received, but as it is, I think it was poorly written with no clear subject. I was expecting to read about Rosemary and her mind and some about what went wrong with her lobotomy, but there was absolutely nothing about any of that.

The Author refers to her "research" but I find no evidence of research. My question to her would be "is this book your opinion or facts?"

[Pamela · Rating 4 out of 5]

The writing style is not professional, and the writer deals gently with Joe Kennedy. Because she primarily tells the relationship of her aunt and Rosemary, the author deals with the positives of Rosemary's life without dwelling on the negatives. In other words, the tone is accepting, gentle, and loving---obviously someone close to the family. While this is not a full, unbiased story, it is a valuable addition to the Kennedy saga. The most intriguing parts of the book are the myriad photographs, proving the adage "a picture is worth a thousand words," and in this case, even more. Perhaps this is why I rated the book as a four.

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

A short, fast read about Rosemary Kennedy, the disabled sister of a president. I knew nothing about her going in, so it was interesting, but the book is clearly fleshed out a bit but he authors speculation, and her own family history. It's a sad story, with a happier second half than expected, but I really found the deliver frustrating.

[Berni Phillips · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a very interesting, very fast read. I was not aware of Rosemary Kennedy, not being one in love with the Kennedy mythos. Koelher-Pentacoff takes an interesting approach, working from her childhood recollections of visits to Rosie, as she knew her, and her aunt, Sister Paulus.

Koelher-Pentacoff tries too hard with her parallels, though. In her efforts to mirror Rosie's tale, she digs into her own family history, making the fatal error of TMI: too much information. The author is an only child, but she has many cousins. I wonder how they feel about her dragging the family laundry out in public like this.

What this book does best, besides present the horror of a person who had been misdiagnosed and subject to an inexpert lobotomy, is highlight how Rosie's tragedy caused the whole Kennedy-Shriver clan to pull together in the cause of the developmentally challenged and institute reforms and programs that would otherwise never have come about. So kudos to K-P for that. (I'm tired of typing her whole name.)

[Eileen · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was interesting to know a little more about Rosemary Kennedy but it leaves you feeling deprived of knowing more. It was an interesting concept to parallel the author's family history to the Kennedys story but it falls flat and you only know a tiny bit about each. My guess is that the author would never have got any attention without the Kennedy name in the title but the reader feels cheated and deceived.The writing is on a young adult level and you quickly lose interest in the author's family. Much more could have been written about mental illness and learning disabilities without being pedantic. It is hard to believe that the mother and the other children did not wonder more about what happened to Rosemary. The photos are interesting but so many of them are poor and blurry. The ones that are clear are shocking in that you see a beautiful young girl who seemed pretty sociable and normal and then post lobotomy a lethargic and partially paralyzed childlike adult. It is a sad story but too short and dissatisfying.

[Leah Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sad

This was a sad book about mental retardation and illness. I bought it because I thought it would focus more on the Kennedys, unfortunately the author used a lot of "might have" and "may have" which leads me to believe she didn't have a lot of primary documents. I appreciated the authors candor about her family's struggle with mental illness, but really wanted a book that focused more on Rosemary Kennedy and Kennedys. I appreciated that the authors aunt was a devoted non-who gave loving care to Rosemary. I couldn't help but wonder, however, why the author felt the need to relay the private, mundane details of Rosemary's life. It felt less like a well researched, scholarly biography and more like a sad tell all.

[Lucia · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was pandering and self-indulgent. The writing style is grace-less as the author moves between her family and the Kennedy family with little transition.

I'm also a bit stymied by the sub-title "Rosemary Kennedy and the Secret Bonds of Four Women." The book is a memoir, not a biography. It's also unclear who the four women are...and calling the bond between them "secret" seems like reader bait. There's no secret.

The author makes assumptions and draws conclusions that are, maybe, not entirely accurate. I thought the book was a selfish attempt to capitalize on a Kennedy connection.

I did enjoy the factual information about Rosemary Kenendy's life, which accounts for the one star I rated this book.

[Carla Eischeid]

Such a sad cover-up by "American royalty". By today's standards Rosemary Kennedy would have simply been diagnosed with a learning disability. Unfortunately for "Rosie" she lived in a time of fear and ignorance about mental health. She was also unfortunate to be born to Joe and Rose Kennedy who didn't want anyone to know of their "retarded" daughter. She was forced into a lobotomy in her 20s which left her completely incapacitated. She lived out her years in an institution. Her mother visited a few times but mostly she just couldn't handle the stress of the whole thing so she took off for random European vacations....to rest. Wasted life.

[Deirdre Murphy · Rating 2 out of 5]

The author talks about how her aunt was Rosemary Kennedy's main carer when she was moved to Wisconsin. She draws comparisons with her family and the Kennedys, in an effort to create an intimacy or shared experience but they are not comparable and it looks like the author is clutching at straws to create a bond. There is no doubt that her aunt and Rosie Kennedy had a close relationship but the author gives us very little insight into their inner lives.
This book reads like the author saw an opportunity to sell a story which does not live up to its title. The photographs are the best part of the book.

[Sue Palmer · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Personal Glimpse into a little-known Kennedy's Life

This was such a personal glimpse into the life of Rosemary Kennedy, at turns tragic, sometimes horrifying but ultimately revelatory and hopeful, a story about so much more than the Kennedys. I'm glad I chose to read it and grateful for the way one woman's mistreatment through ignorance led the way toward improvements in our understanding of such issues and greater dignity and appreciation for the mentally and physically challenged.

[Kgould · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was not overly impressed with this book at all. The author is obviously a children's author who cannot write to an adult level audience. Having read many children's books as a Children's Librarian it was very obvious to me. The author also didn't know the Kennedy family yet made assumptions as to what they were thinking or why they may have done certain things. The words, "May have thought" or " probably" were used in discussing situations that makes the book very close to a fiction title rather than nonfiction.

[Kara Johnson · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this one right after reading "Rosemary: The Hidden Kennedy Daughter", by Larson. While this author offered a very personal perspective, her aunt having been Rosemary's companion and caretaker during the Wisconsin years, it's just not very well written. The flow of the text was often awkward and confusing, and took away from what the author was trying to say. There were also huge gaps in the information given. I knew so much after reading Larson's book, which helped me fill in the gaps in THIS book, but if I had read it first I would be very under-informed.

[Lindsey · Rating 2 out of 5]

My grandpa recommended this book to me, so the second star is really just out of pity. This author annoyed me so much. She has a distant connection to the Kennedys and used this to write an awkward memoir that was mostly about her own family. The story was unorganized and really just poorly written. The Rosemary Kennedy story is fascinating, but you can probably learn more about it from a Google search than from this book.

[Chantal Damphousse · Rating 5 out of 5]

The story of Rosemary Kennedy is all at once tragic and moving. It serves as an incredible cautionary tale and a catalyst for the many efforts put forth by the Kennedy & Shriver families in the fight for the recognition of rights for and acceptance of people with mental or physical disabilities. This book will have you go through an array of emotion but you will feel gratitude for the legacy left by this incredible woman, her family and the nun who cared for her.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

An unknown Kennedy

The book jumped around a lot and the direction was a bit muddled at first, but the author wound the stories together nicely. I am saddened that Rosemary was treated the way she was for so long, but I'm glad she finally found Sister Paulus.

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wanted to read about RoseMary Kennedy because I knew the Kennedys had a family members that they hid for years, but I had no idea why. There were two books about her, and I decided to read both. This book was the first one I picked up.

It was an easy read. A bit dry, but still fascinating. I mistakenly thought it would be just about Rosemary, and her life from the Kennedy Family’s perspective, but it wasn’t. It was about the author’s family, and how they were intertwined with the Kennedys through Rosemary. Sister Paulus was the main caretaker of Rosemary, and this book explored their relationship.

I was grateful that Rosemary had her, because she did lead an extremely lonely existence for twenty years after she got treated, all because of poor understanding of mental illness and neurological conditions.

I had no idea she lived in Wisconsin for the most of her life either! How neat.

It was sad how people back then treated those with mental illness, or conditions so poorly. Rosemary didn’t deserve the treatment at all, and let alone, to have it botch who she was.

I also learned that Eunice was a founder of special Olympics, all because of her relationship with Rosemary, and I thought that was awesome neat fact! I also learned that Ted Kennedy played a huge role in helping to pass the bills for the disabled. In a way, Rosemary influenced the politics to become more cognizant of special needs and disabilities.

It was an intimate peek into their lives from the author’s family’s perspective, and I appreciated that. Reading this first helped me to appreciate the other book about Rosemary much more, because I had the background knowledge that not all Kennedys were cold and indifferent towards Rosemary.