Coping with Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet: Third Edition

by Moira Anderson Allen

Coping with Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet is a compassionate, comprehensive guide to help you deal with the heartbreaking pain of losing a beloved animal companion. It shows you that you're not alone, or crazy, or "over-reacting" to your loss, by calling upon the experiences and advice of dozens of pet owners like yourself. You'll find words of comfort, understanding, and strategies to help you heal in this time-honored book. Moira Allen knows first-hand how much the loss of a pet hurts, and what a hole it leaves in your life. This book doesn't bring you psychobabble - it brings understanding and real help. Coping with Sorrow helps you deal with every aspect of pet loss and bereavement. It will help you: Understand what your pet meant to you, and why its loss is so painful Deal with the overwhelming feelings you may be having of anger, guilt or depression Recognize the importance of acknowledging your feelings and finding ways to express your pain Adjust to your loss by adjusting your surroundings and schedule Pay tribute to your pet and bring closure to your loss by creating an appropriate memorial It will also help you help others in your family cope. Coping with Sorrow offers tips to help you help your children through what may be the first real loss in their lives. It will guide you through the most painful decision a pet owner can make: The decision to mercifully end a pet's suffering. It provides insights into "what to do next" - choosing the best "final resting place" for your beloved companion. And finally, it will help you make one of the most important decisions yet to come: When (or whether) to bring a new animal companion into your life. This book also touches on a host of topics that no other book on pet loss bereavement covers, such as: How to cope with "pre-loss bereavement" - the special grief that begins BEFORE a pet dies, when we learn that a pet is terminally ill and its loss is inevitable. Other books talk about the pain that follows loss-but the pain that can precede it is every bit as real, with no closure in sight. How to deal with the pain and uncertainty surrounding the "missing" pet - and steps you can take to help recover a lost pet. How to protect pets during a disaster or emergency How to cope if circumstances force you to give up a beloved pet, and how to make that transition as painless as possible for you and your pet How to provide for your pets in your will A final appendix - which has garnered some of the most ardent praise for this book - addresses the question, "Do pets go to heaven?" When you have lost a pet, you want answers fast, and this caring book has been providing healing to pet owners for nearly 30 years. It is also the perfect gift when someone YOU care about is grieving. Please note: This is a reprinting of the 2007 edition. This is not a NEW edition."

Genres: Nonfiction, Animals, Self Help, Psychology

166 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1987

Reviews

[Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another book I’d had a long time but never read cover to cover until now. But it could be helpful just to dip in and out of the chapters you might need at the time.

[Courtney Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this book does a good job of helping greiving pet owners. I am in a particularly interesting position because I volunteer for a no-kill cat shelter, and I choose to foster some of our older cats. They tend to come with me with some health issues and I know their time is limited. That doesn't make their loss any easier.

This book helps navigate the swamp of grief and pain. I like that it spends a large amount of time on dealing with guilt, which is a feeling that many pet owners feel after losing a pet. Was there something else I could've done? Was my pet in pain? Should I have euthanized my pet? Did I euthanize too early? Did I euthanize too late? It's a mess! Although no book can erase the pain of losing a pet, this one helps navigate the myriad of feelings until you can start healing.

Something else I really enjoyed about this book is that it addresses other situations which may cause grief and the loss of a pet, but not actual death - the pet running away, or having to give up your pet. Both are important topics to discuss because they happen all the time. The worst, for me as a shelter volunteer, is when you have elderly people who have to give up their pets because they're moving into assisted living. It would break my heart to know my beloved animal was still out there and I don't know what's happening to it.

Another thing that I found really important as a non-religious person is that this book is not Christianity-based. Many of the quotations from pet owners do mention God, but that's just the demographics of America. It's not preachy or faith-laden like many other books on dealing with death. There is a section on dealing with the question 'do animals go to heaven?' but it is an appendix, not part of the book itself.

I would recommend this to anyone who has recently lost a pet, or even lost one a while ago and still feels absolutely crushed. You're not alone.

[Sheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Guaranteed to not be on everyone's "Want To Read" list. Nevertheless, if you have lost a pet, as I recently have, or know someone who has, I think this would be a very helpful read. Among many good points, it has any number of comments and brief stories from others who have lost a furry friend and how they felt going through their loss, and any bumps they encountered along the way, so you will know you are not alone. Even if you are fortunate as I am to have friends who have and have had pets, it is an additional comfort to hear from people you have never met and who will never meet you who also share the same thoughts and feelings you are experiencing. There's a whole lot of love out there. It's good to know it and to read it and to take it in.

Knowing there are many helpful websites and articles on the internet on the subject, some of which I have read and gone to and been comforted by, I still have found it nice to additionally have this "one stop shopping" reference in the form of this book.

[Ayelet · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have a pet, get yourself this book. If you know of a good friend with an older pet or a pet with a disease, gift them this book. More likely than not, you will deal with pet loss at some point in your life. This book prepares and helps guide you through your grief and sorrow in a healthy way. It won’t let you bypass your grief or the heartbreak that happens when you lose your furry best friend, but it will help you come to terms with it.

I read this book as I was preparing for my beloved Bagheera’s death and I am seeing now how much it touched my heart and mind. My family had to put down a cat before when I was a child and that still haunts me. I know that Bagheera’s death will not haunt me in the same way, although I will always feel sad and heartbroken to have lost my best friend before we had enough time together. I believe this book and my maturity as an adult are the big differences in how I dealt with the two deaths.

[Maggie Vanorse · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve been slowly reading this book on my nights before bed. I have found it extremely helpful. I’m experiencing a lot of grief after loosing my soul dog. And I am thankful to have found such a well written and helpful book.

[Veronica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tomorrow is the anniversary of one of the hardest feline farewells I've ever made. As difficult as this last year has been, this book has helped me move through it in ways far healthier than I could have managed on my own. I've come out of my loss sadder - perhaps permanently - but maybe a bit stronger, too.
Moira has filled this book with so much wisdom, things she obtained throughout her life as someone who lives and works with pets. Too many people have no idea what it's like to lose a creature you truly love - a creature not of your blood, nonverbal, unable to express basic concepts - because most of them have never truly loved any. It's so painful to hear people say things like, "it's just a cat", as though they can't imagine what love is. Even - no, especially - if they're parents.
Coping with Sorry on the Loss of Your Pet has more resources than other books like it, and there aren't that many to compare it to.
I recommend this book to all of my friends when they are dealing with pets who are ill, aging, or both. It even helps pet owners work through the process of choosing euthanasia and how to be strong enough to be there for your pet in his or her last moments. (And that's hugely important.)
I've sent copies of this book to friends, too, because I know the depression that surrounds these moments and events. I know how getting out of bed can be exhausting; I know how hard it is to wake up on your own when you're used to your pet waking you every morning.
Moira Anderson Allen understands all of this and writes about it well. This book isn't that big, but it is full of so much valuable information, helpful tips, pointers, and resources, that - if you continue to parent pets - you're likely to want to cover with sticky flags and notes to read again later. Next time. Because there's unfortunately always going to be a next time.

Life is too damn short. Especially for our beloved pets.
They're only with us for part of our lives, but to them, we are their whole lives.
Read this book. It helps.

[Tiffany Dickinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

We lost our 10-month-old pug puppy eight weeks ago to a sudden illness. It was devastating and we're still working to recover. "Coping with Sorrow" is the second book I've read on the subject of pet loss since Bryn's death. It is comprehensive, compassionate, and full of wisdom. Probably the most helpful (and emotional) parts for me were the stories told by other pet owners about their experiences with love, loss, and grief related to their animal companions. They helped me feel less alone and reassured me that I wasn't overreacting or crazy. I highly recommend this engaging and helpful read.

[Stephanie Moore · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really appreciated this book and the relatable testimonies. I found there to be some tips I hadn’t thought of but I also feel as though some areas were not explored or mentioned at all such as what it is like when you think you hear your beloved pet in the quiet of the night or during a particular moment of silence during the day. What it’s like to know that your pet physically cannot be there yet you were so sure of what you heard. Whether or not adopting an animal that looks exactly like your beloved fur baby who has passed on is such a good idea or not etc.

[Meg · Rating 3 out of 5]

It doesn't feel like the most current publication on the topic, largely due to the jarring use of "it" as the pronoun for pets, but it is worth getting beyond that because the first few chapters especially have many helpful tips.

It does seem as if the chapters are somewhat out of order with those on making the decision and final resting place later in the volume--it may be best to skip around depending on your situation.

[Alona Perlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book deals with pet loss in a very sensitive fashion. It is also very instructive. I learned a lot of information about the different aspects of loss. I didn’t have enough information about the use of wills and codicils for pets. That is definitely something that is importing to know. There were some parts that were difficult to read but were definitely important. Thank you for the support

[Lucynelsonloveslife · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very thorough book on everything to do with the loss of a pet. Although many chapters did not apply to me I still found the book helpful and validating.

[Allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful and thorough.

[Darren Dennstedt · Rating 2 out of 5]

Repetitive


Repetitive ideas throughout the book. This could be condensed to 5-10 chapters. Some concepts are helpful, but as stated, they are constantly repeated.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a useful guide for those grieving for a pet. The author doesn't say a lot that hasn't been said elsewhere, but she says it with compassion. The strongest part of the book is the use of quotations from people who have lost pets. Most of these were gathered from a survey on loss of a pet run by the magazine where the author worked. These confessions of sorrow and descriptions of grief had me in tears for my own loss. The weakest part is the ordering of chapters. You don't get to the chapter on euthanasia until halfway through the book. For me this just brought back the trauma afresh after I thought I had worked through that part of the experience. I would suggest as well that the legal chapter (wills, guardianship, etc.) be relegated to an appendix.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have ever lost a pet, this book is amazing for helping you through your grief. And how people will tell you it "was just a dog" or to "just get over it." Those people have obviously never loved a pet before. Especailly the people who tell you to "just get another one" *snort* Indeed. This is the first book I have read pertaining to the loss of a pet, and it covered just about every topic in the grief process that you would hope to have covered. I was amazed and I cried and I knew that this woman "got me", like no one else has.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not a fan of self help books & honestly find them full of bull but needing some comfort after the loss of my German shepherd I gave this book a try. I'm glad to say it was a good decision. Just reading what others were feeling & experiencing made me realize I wasn't alone in my deep sadness over losing my sweet girl. If you or anyone you know has lost a pet I highly recommend this book.

[Susie · Rating 5 out of 5]

In 2002, I bought several books on pet loss after we had to let our Monty go. This was the one I found the most comforting. I started re-reading this a couple of weeks ago, anticipating the upcoming passing of our second dog. We had to let her go two days ago & I am still finishing up this book for the second time. It's a good read for both before & after the passing of a beloved pet.

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found several of the chapters to be helpful and comforting but there are many free articles on the internet that are taken directly from this book or are just as helpful. However, it is a good place to start and I wish I'd had it sooner.

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommended if you've lost a beloved pet. I've found the feelings of grief and sadness to be completely overwhelming at times, and the wisdom in the book has helped me.

[Lindsey Benage · Rating 4 out of 5]

Was very helpful to read others stories and memories when we had to put Sugar down. It was both hard to read yet comforting at the same time. Would recommend to other pet owners who lose their pets.

[January · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helped me tremendously

[Anna]

Read someday to see if should be on "recommended" list.

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent

I highly recommend this book for anyone grieving the loss of a pet. It has helped me cope and put many things in perspective.

[MarySueWood · Rating 1 out of 5]

Too sad.