Chasing Water: Elegy of an Olympian

by Anthony Ervin, Constantine Markides

Anthony Ervin and Constantine Markides are the recipients of the 2018 Buck Dawson Author Award presented by the Internationla Swimming Hall of Fame! "Here Ervin and swim trainer and journalist Markides combine talents to create a biography that is part first-hand narrative by Ervin, with Markides filling in the details and providing context. The formula works, pulling readers into Ervin's experience of the thrill of victory and search for meaning...Featuring more depth, breadth, truth, and the effects of reckless choices than found in traditional athlete biographies, this gripping account is just in time for the gear up to the Rio 2016 Olympics. Readers will understand the psyche and life of elite athletes as never before, then cheer Ervin on in his attempt to make another Olympic team."
-- Library Journal "A celebrated Olympian recounts how he rose to the top of his sport, crashed, and found redemption...This book, which tells his story through a narrative that interweaves the former gold medalist's memories with commentary by his friend and colleague Markides, reveals the extreme highs and lows that characterized Ervin's remarkable life and career...The author never flinches at revealing his less-than-perfect past, and the humility he demonstrates at coming to terms with his own egotism and personal shortcomings makes the book frequently compelling. A provocative and refreshingly honest redemption memoir."
-- Kirkus Reviews "Markides smartly combines his own journalistic account with a parallel narrative in which Ervin...explains his life and style. Some talents simply defy explanation, however, and Ervin may be in that category...The story of his comeback at 31 (ancient for a swimmer) is rendered more amazing by the contrast with what went before."
-- Booklist "For Anthony Ervin, the stretch between his two greatest athletic achievements--two Olympic gold medals--included a suicide attempt, a period of homelessness and a stint in a rock band. Jobs found, then lost. Too much drinking, too many drugs. Depression. Confusion. And then, a kind of rebirth."
-- USA Today "An inspiring, humorous and often profound biography."
-- People Magazine "Anthony Ervin is a lot of things. He is an open book and a closed circuit, a body fueled by a brain, an old man with a young soul. He is the American Dream. He is, once again, improbably, an Olympic champion."
-- Yahoo "[Ervin's] story is an amazing comeback tale."
-- Huffington Post Every four years in the Olympic cycle the surge of national interest in swimming grows, and with it a desire to be captivated by its stars. This book tells the dramatic, surprising, and sometimes provocative path that Anthony Ervin has taken to become one of those captivating Olympic heroes. Not your typical sports memoir, Chasing Water also contains arresting black-and-white drawings and a graphic story extra, as well as an inventive and mercurial narrative style that morphs chapter by chapter to reflect Ervin's restless, multifaceted life. Ervin won a gold medal at the 2000 Sydney Olympic Games at the age of nineteen. He is an athlete branded with a slew of titles including being the first US Olympic swimmer of African American descent, along with Jewish heritage, who also grew up with Tourette's syndrome. He shocked the sporting world by retiring soon after claiming two world titles following the 2000 Olympics. Auctioning off his gold medal for charity, he set off on a part spiritual quest, part self-destructive bender that involved Zen temples, fast motorcycles, tattoo parlors, and rock 'n' roll bands. Then Ervin resurfaced in 2012 to not only make the US Olympic team twelve years after his first appearance, but to continue his career by swimming faster than ever before.

Genres: Sports, Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Biography Memoir

320 pages, Paperback

First published April 12, 2016

Reviews

[Alison Donnelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Preface: I'm not a huge sports fan. I'm a huge people fan. I first came across Ervin in a Rolling Stone article many years ago and I was struck by his unusual and unconventional life story. This biography will sate those who read it because they are interested in swimming, those who read it because they are looking for the antidote to Ryan Lochte's Olympic level idiocy, or just anyone curious about a very interesting person. Ervin is thoughtful, thankful, and seems constantly in awe of the universe. I like him. Definitely not your typical sporting memoir, more of a biographical bildungsroman for sure, but one you'll be glad you picked up.

[Ralph Porrazzo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Vivid, honest and raw. That exactly what you receive from this wonderful work of art. Carefully crafted to give the reader a candid look at Anthony Ervin's life. I may be biased because of my swimming background, but an outsider will truly never understand the mental hell you endure. This book enlightens us and finally says what is needed to be said about finding one's self. Outstanding. My only wish would be for Anthony and Constantine to go back in time and wait one more year to publish this. But heck, I'm waiting for the next book.

[Tinjin Chang · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome book by an incredible Olympic champion, coach, artist, human being, and friend. I've degusted over 1,200 library checkouts since the last Olympic Trials and this one easily ranks among the top 10. Highly recommended.

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolutely engaging an in depth look at the Mr. Ervin's life. It's ups and downs, it's a warts and all look and the public Olympian and the private man. An exceptional book about an exceptional man!

[Eileen Granfors · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anthony Ervin's CHASING WATER stands out among sports bios because of its raw honesty and clear voice. The crash-and-burn of a beloved athlete is a familiar story in our sports-obsessed world. But it is Anthony's (Tony's) voice in this memoir that creates the friction and the heartache.

A gifted natural in the water, Anthony portrays himself as an uncomfortable creature on land. He showed such early promise in swimming that other aspects of his life devolved. His family supported his quest for individuality, but not at the sacrifice of discipline. Anthony proved a hard act to balance as his adventures outside of home grew wilder, darker, more dangerous.

The man who won Olympic gold in Australia (50 meter freestyle) is not the man who competed at Cal Berkeley. The man who finally earned his degree in English lit is someone whom his roommates did not know ever swam a race. The press delighted in his story of a comeback at the old age of 31 for the London Olympics. Anthony makes it clear that just reaching the age of 30 was a miracle in itself.

The journey from golden boy to homeless couch surfer, from depressed and insular and dangerously addicted to risk, is a story of growth. The growth of the soul and his intellect save Ervin from his darkest thoughts. His "swimmer's body" with superior muscle memory and drive saved him from accidental death. Ervin does not flinch away from the rough, rude truth of drugs, alcohol, sex, and speed that consumed his life for years.

This is not a whiny tale of someone mourning a lack of public applause. This is the truthful story of a young man's fall from grace in the spotlight and of how he found his way back to living life with a purpose other than one confined in a blue rectangle marked off by lanes.

[Mike · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Adevărul este că acum sunt viu, existența mea este confirmată de aceste fețe zâmbitoare şi încurajatoare. Felicitările şi sărbătorirea nu au rolul să dovedească că sunt mai bun decât alții, ci mă sprijină să dau totul, în ciuda limitărilor caracterului meu uman."

Povestea lui Tony Ervin, campion olimpic la nici 20 de ani; retras apoi din sport, a cochetat cu mai multe domenii cum a fi motociclismul, temple budiste sau muzică rock, pentru ca ulterior să revină în circuitul olimpic sportiv.
🥇
Biografia unui campion şi om, citită în cartea apărută în limba română. 🇷🇴

[Brad · Rating 2 out of 5]

One-and-a-half stars.

Yawn. This memoir is simultaneously a weaker version of sports stories I've heard before (Phil Jackson, Dennis Rodman, Amanda Beard) and indecisive about what story it wants to tell.

Story options:
(1) The first black swimmer in the Olympics......but Ervin doesn't connect with that.
(2) A rebel in an non-rebellious sport......but his rebellion is so color-by-number (motorcycle, college pot smoking, failing classes, tattoos) it had me rolling my eyes.
(3) A story of overcoming a neurological disorder......but Ervin's Tourette's is only mentioned a few times in passing.
(4) A sports comeback story......but the comeback is a fizzle--fifth place at the 2012 Olympics in London after previously taking gold in Sydney in 2000.
(5) A rock-n-roller turned guru......but Ervin's interest in the metaphysical, meditation and the poetry of Rumi are surface-level at best.
(6) A tale of overcoming depression......but this (even his suicide attempt) just seems to fall into the background, mostly forgotten.
(7) A personal reformation tale......but he doesn't really seem to have learned anything from his "bad boy" years where he took harder drugs.

I was glad when the book was over.



---

Favorite bits:

"Distance swimmers use a hip-driven stroke, arms gliding long in front and legs acting like an engine in the rear...But a shoulder-driven stroke is better suited in the 50, the shoulders driving down and the legs almost rising up behind you." (99)

"In learning to swim you must relax, let your limbs and ankles be loose and limber so your feet can whip like fins." (100)

"In the kick, there's a sense of eliminating your knees. You want to keep your legs stiff so that you're hooking and grabbing the water rather than kicking from the knees down. Same with your upper body and elbows." (100)

"There's a technical complexity in sprinting, at least for me--the hip flip, the switch kick, the catch, the roll, the recovery--and it's / all happening together. It's one motion. If the timing on any of those parts slips, there's an immediate loss of velocity." (100-101)

An ideal swimmer's body has a longer torso. "As David Epstein notes in The Sports Gene, the long trunk is advantageous for horizontal speed through water because the torso serves like the hull of . canoe: a longer hull means more surface contact and speed." (104)

"Any attempt by those in the grips of depression to describe their desolation usually comes across to the comfortably healthy as maudlin and indulgent." (159)

[Rhianna Hensler · Rating 4 out of 5]

Anthony Ervin is best known for swimming, having won a gold medal in the 50 freestyle at the 2000 Olympic Games. But his memoir is anything but a typical sports narrative. Instead, he offers something much messier, more introspective, and deeply human. What appears to be an athlete’s autobiography becomes a commentary on meaning, identity, and the search for purpose.

I first read this book ten years ago, and at 14, I didn’t have the perspective to fully grasp the nuances of Ervin’s story, especially his existential reflections and evolving sense of self. Revisiting it now, I can better appreciate its depth. This is not just a story about swimming, it’s about what it means to exist beyond a single identifier. Ervin’s honest and unflinching account of depression, addiction, risk-taking, and his rejection of being defined solely as an athlete is complex and thought-provoking. Overall, I’d recommend this book to readers interested in the psychology of athletes or personal growth, rather than those looking for a traditional sports memoir.

Standout Quote: "What have I actually suffered? As I look into humanity, I have not yet suffered. It all still lies before me, in a future I cannot help but race toward. But what I do know is that I'm alive, my existence affirmed in these smiling, cheering faces."

[Hunter Winslow · Rating 5 out of 5]

My only critique is I wish there was more. He went on to win gold in 2016 and I wanted to know more about the lead up. I wanted to hear more about his transformation as a person and what really changed for him. I relate to this book in so many ways as someone who played sports at Cal and was majorly depressed and lost. I quit and wandered for years only to later fall in love with my sport again in my late 20s. I hope I can be as successful as he was upon his return but let’s be real he’s a generational talent. I appreciate the artistry of this book. Yes sometimes it’s a bit self serious but it’s a memoir! I learned a ton from this book and feel inspired to go after my dreams no matter what my past held.

I hold complicated feeling around his risky behavior. The absolute lack of care for whether he hurt others disturbs me. Like the driving cars and motorcycles while drinking and doing drugs. That endangers peoples lives. But hurt people hurt people. Addicts are the worst of humanity. But they aren’t stuck that way. To climb out of that hole is incredible and inspiring for others recovery.

All that matters in the end is that he finally changed and did something good. He seems to be in a great place now and a better kinder person. Isn’t that what we are all trying to do?

[Emily Kidd · Rating 3 out of 5]

There's a lot to say about this book, but it seems wrong to say it. Anthony Ervin, no matter how you feel about his personal life, is a sports legend (though the book was published prematurely in regard to his Rio victory).

Chasing Water detailed some things I think would have been better left un-detailed (notice I don't say unmentioned), i.e. certain acts in burlesque shows or things related to drugs. This is definitely an adult book; I think even aspiring (young) swimmers should wait to read. I was disturbed by some things (promiscuity, etc.), but pleasantly surprised by others (chiefly literary references).

This is a two-voice narrative, Ervin's voice being the quieter of the two. This style serves to make the book feel like somewhat of a study versus a story, but in that sense it was...enlightening. I like to talk about the "human experience," and well, this was certainly that!

[Todd Walter · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting read. After years of working with youth, many of the frustrations I had with them were present in Anthony Ervin. He took many years of self-destructive behavior to learn that only he could define who he was to be or wanted to be. To finally recognize that those people who matter most did not care about the "winner" but the man who competed.

Even with the frustration over Anthony's long journey to get to an obvious endpoint, the interesting path he took, the people he met and befriended along the way, and the realization and rediscovery of his love of the water more than override any of my personal issues with his behavior.

I will be sharing the sections related to swimming with my eleven year old daughter. Much of the last third of the book is inappropriate for her age but Anthony's approach to swimming and competition are very innovative and worth her time.

[Gabriela Repanovici · Rating 4 out of 5]

Este, de departe, cea mai atipică bibliografie a unui înotător pe care am citit-o. Parcursul și viața lui Anthony sunt complet opuse față de cele ale unei Katie Ledecky, de exemplu. E un mister cum cineva poate fi atât de delăsător în antrenamente, să fumeze, să se drogheze, și totuși să reușească să obțină acei timpi.Ca sa nu mai vorbesc de calificarea la olimpiada de la Londra, dupa ani întregi de pauza, alcool, țigări si droguri. Pare aproape incorect.

Și totuși, omul a trecut prin multe. A fost un drum dur, dar asumat și independent. A făcut ce a vrut în drumul său spre sine.

Mi-a plăcut finalul cărții:
„Nu poti schimba cine ești, dar poti schimba cum ești. Așa că, atunci când vânturile se schimbă, trebuie să faci tot ce poți ca să rămâi la suprafață. Ca să eviți prăbușirea.”

[Kara Montgomery · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book was one I have wanted to read for years and it was worth the wait. Language, public health, family, swimming, community, feeling the water, teammates, friends, young adults, practice, art, English, education - all of these are in this book. Alternating perspectives from Ervin and Markides resonated with me, since life is a matter of perspective. We don’t look at things the same way over time and often gain insight and appreciation for the waves and tides in life. I will definitely read this again!

[Bookish207 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm an avid follower of swimming, but have to admit I hadn't really heard of Anthony Ervin, except peripherally. I found this book fascinating (to the point where was trying to finish it waiting for a plane) and an interesting story about an athlete, his demons, the media, and how international Olympic sports have become really corporate-ized and sound bite-d. I highly recommend this read if you like sports biographies, it's definitely one of the better ones!

[Derrick · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love a good sports biography. I was excited by this one having followed competitive swimming more passionately than my ability really lends itself. I’d heard the story of Ervin before and was excited to understand what happened throughout his life but this felt more like a generalized and quick introspective on his emotions more than why and what happened. I thought it was overall extremely entertaining and the 3rd to 1st person narrative was really interesting.

[woody bedell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent regardless of whether you like swimming or not

A wonderful read. While about the story of an Olympic swimmer it provides an in-depth profile of the struggle and final break through of boy of mixed race and with autistic profile. Anthony is not only a superb athlete but highly intelligent and thought provoking. Recommend highly.

[Jack Haywood · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was really good to understand Anthony Ervin's childhood to how he became an Olympian. It was put into two perspectives, his perspective, and when he told his story to Markides, a journalist. I would like to recommend this to young adults, like myself.

[Shane · Rating 3 out of 5]

Equally repulsed as I was intrigued by this book. Really didn’t like Ervin, but appreciated his talent and obvious connection with the water. Even knowing his result in Rio, I can’t help but think of all the people who went out of their way to help him that he burnt along the way. Not a good advertisement for Olympians.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

So much swimming in here I could understand, and many highlight worthy revelations. I also think my son is very similar to Ervin in many ways, as a biracial 20-year-old, trying to find his way.

[Mike · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting read. Ervin is a very complex character with a very interesting background. Inspiring story.

[Juliet Mike · Rating 1 out of 5]

Is there anything duller than people recounting their experiences of doing drugs?

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Engaging, detailed stories from swimmer Anthony Ervin's life, starting with the discovery of his talent in childhood through young adult trials to his trips to the Olympic games. The narrative alternates between Markides' straightforward journalistic style and Ervin's journal-like recollections; there are frequent references to philosophy, literature, and music as a means to flesh out the experiences of the thoughtful, insightful if sometimes impulsive & reckless Olympian. Ervin's self-reflections + revelations throughout make his story a richly satisfying relief to read; the brash comic appendix illustrated by friend & fellow swimmer/artist Frank Zio is an inspired addition.

[Amanda Morgan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think I appreciated this memoir of US Olympic swimmer Anthony Ervin because I am a former competitive swimmer and understand the swimming lingo and the dedication it takes to excel in this sport, but non-swimmers will also be informed and amused by Ervin's tales.

Ervin talks about what a hooligan he was growing up and how swimming kept him out of more trouble he could have been into. His love/hate relationship with the sport resonates with me, as I'm sure it would with other athletes who had to train hours upon hours a day to try to get ahead in a sport you once loved but come to resent at times.

When an opportunity presented itself to Ervin for a free ride to college if only he would continue swimming competitively, he took it with the intent to continue swimming for one year, then move on with his life. That one year led to an Olympic gold medal and some hard partying.

While Ervin didn't finish college in the traditional means, he did eventually realize what college and swimming meant to him and made his way back to them both after many years of partying, drugs, and transient living.

Ervin and his co-writer are both interesting writers with a sense of humor and this book makes for a quick read in which I found myself rooting for Ervin and his don't-call-it-a-comeback, looking forward to more success for this truly interesting human being. I was happy to have won a copy of this book from LibraryThing.

[Mandar Gokhale]

I always read about how intensively Michael Phelps used to train – getting up at 6am every morning, rigorously doing laps for the whole day, ad infinitum. To me, this book seems to show what would have ended up happening to a more free, creative version of him who would have chafed at the rigid, almost inhuman discipline needed for Olympic swimming.

To be clear, the book is not about Phelps. It is about Anthony Ervin, an American swimmer who won the gold medal in 50m freestyle at the 2000 Sydney Olympics, and sort of faded out immediately thereafter. Not an unusual story – except that he came back, an incredible twelve years later to compete at the 2012 London Olympics, and continued the comeback to win two gold medals in the 2016 Olympics.

The book treats the swimming and time-spent-outside-swimming parts of his life with equal importance. Anthony Ervin (and Constantine Markides, serving as a narrator in between) lay out all the phases of his life journey from childhood, to initial Olympic triumph, to all the time spent down in the dumps, to his eventual comeback. This is done in a dispassionate tone that I really enjoyed.

Note that the book was written before Ervin's two gold medals at the 2016 Olympics, so it doesn't contain an account of those (even though the cover mentions them; must have been printed afterwards).

[Katy · Rating 5 out of 5]

So happy I picked up this book! It was a very uniquely told sports biography that alternated between a first-person descriptions of events in Anthony Ervin's life (written by Anthony himself) and third-person descriptions (written by Constantine Markides) that bring everything into focus and provide necessary details to understand Anthony's portions. There are some photos scattered throughout the book, and there's even a comic at the end! I loved how art was perfectly married with the technicalities of the sport. I don't necessarily expect a sports biography to have language this enjoyable and beautiful, which made me really enjoy the novel. I feel like the novel makes you care about Anthony as a person; I am so happy he's in a better place in his life now. As a former swimmer, it was cool to get a peek into the life of an Olympian, and the training and the friendships that form between the competitors.

I also had the pleasure of meeting Anthony and Constantine when they came to Ann Arbor for a book signing. The camaraderie between these two friends filled the room as they read one of the funnier passages from the book. They were also very personable and engaging during the book signing, and I'm very lucky to have had a chance to meet them!

[Jamie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this as an Advanced Reader's Copy.

I am a swimmer, and reading about other people's experiences with swimming motivates me and inspires me. But reading about an Olympian, I was hesitant. I had expectations of ego and stereotypical lessons learned. What I experienced was completely different. It was pure gold.

This is the story of Olympian swimmer Anthony Ervin, told in rotating point of view between Anthony himself and Anthony's friend, the narrator. Anthony's life is about so much more than swimming, which is a big reason why this book is so interesting and different than expected. Another reason that I liked it so much, and that other readers will like it even if they aren't acquainted with the sport, is that Ervin and Markides are readers, writers, and thinkers themselves, so the thoughts and ideas they explore run much deeper than the typical athlete experience. Ervin is a pretty fascinating individual, while being completely and unashamedly human, which he's not afraid to reveal through this book.

Really glad I received this book. It's one of the better ARC's that I've received.

[Angie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Co-written by Anthony Ervin, an Olympian, and Constantine Markides, a journalist with a swimming background, Chasing Water is about what you'd expect from a sports memoir: a remarkable talent is discovered in childhood, the individual is thrust into greatness before he is really ready, falls off the wagon for a (long) while, and later rediscovers a love for what defined him when he was younger. Weaving between Ervin's own thoughts and Markides' outside—yet still personal—perspective, this book gives readers unique insights into Tourette's Syndrome, the day-to-day experiences and expectations of a high-level athlete, plus some forays into drug abuse and depression and anxiety. It's the story of what makes a man, and the army of people who contribute to the making.

Seeing as this is a memoir about an Olympian, I would have liked more time on the sports side of things and much less on Ervin's "rebel" period, but all in all, it's an enjoyable book. And who doesn't love a good Olympics story?

[Tracy · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Every discipline requires intensive training when practiced at the world-class level, but competitive swimming places unique and inordinate disciplinary demands upon its victims. Swimming may be the only sport combining insane puke-in-the-gutter-between-sets workouts with an anal obsession with numbers. A standard swim workout is like having to do the SAT math section while bleeding and being pursued by a hungry shark."

Reviews echo redemption. Rather, this book is about self-discovery. Markides wry wit highlights the brutality of the sport (and life). As a swimmer, this book was special to me because it chronicles how Ervin learned to explore his identity as a person, not just an athlete.

The typeface changes to signify Markides v. Ervin text made me nuts for the first 100 pages.

[Asya · Rating 3 out of 5]

An insightful, poetically written account of swimming, Ervin is able to describe, like no one else I've read to date on the topic, what swimming feels like, from the inside out. There may be some formal and stylistic problems with the book overall (Ervin's and Markides' sections don't always gel and the stylistic games can get a bit distracting) but it mostly doesn't take away from the clarity and insight of Ervin's vision or the intensity of his journey. Reminded me of Oliver Sacks' On the Move, right down to the motorcycle and speed (as in velocity, mostly) addiction. Ultimately, the memoir was about the way we always find our way back to ourselves, our essence, whatever pain and conceit may take us away from ourselves.

[Alene · Rating 1 out of 5]

Anthony Ervin is an idiot. He threw away his talent and all the time and energy he invested in swimming competitively in order to do hard drugs, get tattoos and play video games. The drugs he took in large quantities and dangerous combinations could have killed him or permanently harmed him; the risks he took speeding on motorcycles or in cars could have hurt him or others. This guy is not a champion – he’s a moron. I read this book to see what makes a champion and Anthony Ervin has nothing to teach me. The writing is poor. Take a look at pages 155 – 156 to see the worst writing in history.