Wailing Wall: A Mother's Memoir

by Deedra Climer

Approaching middle age, Deedra Climer experienced an unimaginable tragedy—the death of her only son, Joshua, in a motorcycle accident. The spiral of grief that followed reopened ugly wounds that had never fully healed: being raised by a mentally ill and drug-addicted mother, the struggles she faced as a young single mother, and the guilt from exposing her children to one toxic boyfriend after another. Stripped bare emotionally, Deedra is forced to face who she is and where she came from. In sifting through the stark pain of the past, she is finally able to piece together her own sense of self and begin to imagine an unburdened future.

Told with crushing honesty and an unflinching eye, Wailing Wall shares one woman’s struggle to make sense of her shattered life in the year following her son’s death. Framed by the devastation of loss, Deedra’s story reaches beyond heartbreak to show the strength of her spirit, illuminated by the persevering hope of redemption.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir

96 pages, Paperback

First published November 10, 2015

Reviews

[Shelley Schanfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full disclosure: the author is in my writing group. I'm a picky reader and have a critical eye, so take the following with that in mind.

I sat down with this on a beautiful fall afternoon; blue skies, a breeze swirling golden oak leaves around me, fall sun just enough to warm me. I started reading and couldn't stop until I was done. I took a deep breath and brushed away tears.

It's more than a memoir of grief, though the death of Climer's son precipitated its writing. It's also a meditation on impermanence, how we can't really hold on to anything, and how we move forward through pain.

I imagine myself picking it up again when winter sets in, sitting by a warm fire and letting Josh's and Climer's stories take me in.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such an amazing read. I can\t recommend it enough! Deedra Climer has managed to allow us (the readers) to walk this journey with her. To have to go through the death of a child is unthinkable. I literally could not put this book down until it was finished!

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was so frustrated when I read this book. I wanted to take off a whole day and not have to leave it for anything. Deedra Climer has written a book that connects to you immediately and brings back your own painful memories of grief. Wailing Wall is her story of her son dying in a motor cycle accident. But it is much more.

This story goes right to your heart and soul. She leave nothing unexposed. You ache for her growing up with a drug addicted mother and no father. The only guidance that she got was from her grandfather when she lived with him. She has had a very hard life, struggled against so much and then she has to grieve for her son. The closest that I can come to her experience is when I lost my brother. I recognized the experience of pain so deep that you feel you are going to die, the ugly realization that the life continues to go on while you are grieving. I have read books on grieving before but this book grabs you quickly and will not release you until you have experienced it. This is the truest expression of a grieving person’s story that I have ever read. Unless you have gone through a sudden death of a close family member I doubt that you can have an idea of what grief is. This book relates the experience of grief.

I recommend this book to all human beings.

I received an Advance Reading Copy of this book as a win from LibraryThing from the publishers in exchange for a fair book review. My thoughts and feelings in this review are totally my own.

[Joanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amazing! I finished this book in less than two hours because I couldn't put it down and I spent the entire book either laughing or crying. What really got me was how much I could relate to it. Joshua's birthday is July 9th, 1990 and my birthday is July 2nd, 1990. I also grew up with a mother who couldn't decide whether to keep me or give me up and spent my entire life alternating between both. She'd dump me off on my grandparents or another relative for a year or two, come back and cause a scene so they'd have to give me back, keep me for a few months then get bored with me and dump me off again. I'm now 26 and she still often forgets I'm alive and talks constantly about how she has two great kids (meaning my younger siblings) and when people remind her that she has three children she gets really angry and defensive. This book really hit home for me and it gives me hope to see that one person can go through so much and still have a good life at the end of it all, even though the pain is still there.

[Luke Rubow · Rating 4 out of 5]

For our english class we were given books to choose from to read. When I saw this book the cover interested me and made me want to read it. At first I was lost but once the book developed I started to understand it. Deedra Climer did a good job of setting out the characters and the plot so that the reader could follow her story.
Throughout the book, Deedra talks about the death of her son Joshua and her childhood challenges. She does a good job of showing how she dealt with these difficulties and showed that you can overcome even the hardest challenges. She gives the reader a good lesson and shows a good moral to follow.
Overall this was a very well written book and had a good story line. It also showed a good lesson for everyone and I would recommend reading this book.

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won this book through a Goodreads giveaway.

This book is truly amazing: truthful and raw straight from a mother's grieving heart. As a mother, I could relate to all the emotions this author felt when describing the love you have for your children not because of losing a child (I haven't), but because of your hopes and dreams to make a better life for your kids. Her words and story made it seem like we were talking over a cup of coffee, like old friends. She writes straight from the heart and makes you feel how she feels with each page you turn. I got this out of the mailbox at 6:30 pm, started reading at 9:00, and didn't put it down until a few minutes ago when I finished it and wrote this review. Love this book.

[Sheree Gibson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautifully written memoir of a mother's grief. I enjoyed how the reader described her own feelings and didn't make this a self help type book. She eventually realizes everyone grieves in their own way, and none are perfect or a quick fix, simply a way to get through their own sorrow. She also learned that everyone has something to share, and if we simply stop to observe them, we can accept the faults that have clouded our own vision.

Per FTC rules, I received this book free via Goodreads.com.

[Maggie Preston · Rating 5 out of 5]

A stirringly poignant book that is both heart breaking and uplifting at the same time. Ms. Climer shares the grim details of her son's death, and the shattering journey she takes in the aftermath. She shares the personal stories of her youth where she struggled with her family's addictions, abusive relationships, and learning to be a mom. A book that will make you cry and laugh, and everything inbetween.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story of one woman's survival after her son's death was very heartfelt.She had to reevaluate her very existence.Though she had another child she needed time to grieve for her son too.The looking back on her past helped her reflect how she could go on to live in the future with a big part of her heart missing.Support was there for her when she needed it to pull her through to be able to heal.

[Penny lurkykitty · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received Wailing Wall through a Goodreads giveaway. Thank you!
This book is a beautifully written memoir about the life and death of the author's son Joshua. The author is strong, honest and brave to have shared her struggle. No doubt she has helped others who have faced such unimaginable loss. Highly recommended.

[Becky Hart · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this on a Goodreads Giveaway.

I really liked this book. I love that the author didn't make it longer than it needed to be. There were places most authors would have dragged out and forced it into a novel but I like that the book was kept to the point. It was a touching memoir of a grieving mother that I would recommend to people for a heartfelt read.

[Kathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A work of art and heart. Quick, but thoroughly engaging read; I read it entirely in one sitting. Deedra's voice is raw, real, and reverberating. I left the book feeling...this could be me. An eye-opening, worthwhile read. Joshua would be proud.

[Terri Davidson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book from a giveaway from Goodreads. I thought this book was beautifully written. I loved how honest the author was with how she dealt with the death of her son. It was very moving and I am glad she shared her story.

[Melissa_Reads_ · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is amazing. A very powerful and emotional read. I am now going to savor every single moment I have with my love ones. Thank you Deedra for sharing your story and the story of your son.
I received this from the Goodreads giveaway.

[Victorialinda Sullivan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this book from goodreads giveaways.
It is a great book, a very sad and emotional journey of a mothers heartache and grief from losing a son in a tragic accident. I lost my brother in 2008 so this book brought many emotions while I was reading. I would definitely recommend this book.

[Rosalia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a beautiful and sad, bittersweet story. Would highly recommend to anyone looking for a well written and an enjoyable read.

Thank you to Goodreads and the author/sponsor for providing this book in a giveaway.

[Samantha Gunning]

I won this book via Goodreads First Reads Giveaway. I received a paperback copy.

[Jillian · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this book via a Goodreads giveaway. It was quick read. It was also emotionally raw, loving and heartbreaking. Deedra shares with us the pain she goes through after losing her beloved son.

[Eileen · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book was different than I expected, but it was a good read. I won this book through a good reads giveaway.

[Lissa Rau]

Really fast read but not typically the kind of book I read. Interesting but would not recommend it or want to read again. Would not look for books written by this author again.

[Rhonda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this book from a first reads Goodreads giveaway. I really enjoyed this book and would recommend it to anyone.

[Hayley Shaver · Rating 4 out of 5]

This thin but touching autobiography/memoir is a good book to buy. It is written by a mother who has lost her son in a freak motorcycle accident.

[Dave Bensette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recommended! A+

[Jackie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a memoir of a mother's loss. It brings you her story with excellent insights. You are left feeling as if you knew the author and could feel her loss.

[David · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you for this raw and honest portrayal of grief.

I received a copy of this book for free through Goodreads Giveaways.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ugh, still crying. The last two paragraphs contain one of the most powerful, beautiful sentiments I've ever come across.

[Meghan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book through the GoodReads Giveaway.

This book was well written, a sad story, but I enjoyed reading it.

[Patricia Kaniasty · Rating 5 out of 5]

You have just written about my life. My baby sister died just 1 1/2 year ago and everything you talked about, I am still feeling. This book help so very much. Thank you for writing it.

[Doreen Petersen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Received from Netgalley. Really a good book. I would recommend this one.

[Kathleen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won this book in the Goodreads Giveaway. Wailing Wall is a very well written account of a mother's grief over having lost her son to a motorcycle accident. A quick read, it is very straightforward and emotionally compelling. I like that it isn't written to extract pity from the reader but rather a presentation of what life has dealt the author and how she has dealt with it.