Afterzen: Experiences of a Zen Student Out on His Ear

Zen Trilogy #3

by Janwillem van de Wetering

In Afterzen, van de Wetering provides unorthodox solutions to a collection of classical koans found in Walter Nowick's The Wisteria Triangle. Van de Wetering gives them his own distinctive touch of humor, down to earth reality, and tough spirituality in the context of meeting and adventures with personalities "collaged from bits and pieces of teachers and fellow students who kindly came my way."

In this third book of the trilogy, van de Wetering is at his accessible, honest, funny, and genuinely spiritual best.

Genres: Buddhism, Zen, Nonfiction, Religion, Memoir, Autobiography, Biography

208 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 1999

About the author

Jan Willem Lincoln "Janwillem" van de Wetering was the author of a number of works in English and Dutch.

Reviews

[Lea · Rating 3 out of 5]

The structure of short 'essays' was quite confusing (although centering the chapters around koans is smart), and I always felt like I missed some bits, but this was a fascinating read nontheless. This book is about the darker side of zen buddhism and not finding the answers you were looking for, but it's still not anti-zen completely. After reading this I'm still very interested in zen but my feelings against organised religion and monastries is still rather negative.

[William Burr · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the most difficult and complicated book in this three book series. In the previous two books, van de Wetering follows teachers' instructions to move toward enlightenment. In those books, he is young or middle-aged. In this book, he is an old man, and he has largely thrown out the respect he had for many teachers, and seems at first glance to have thrown out Buddhism, too. His American teacher ends up being hopelessly gloomy, authoritarian, mean, and could be considered abusive. He encounters a Tibetan Rinpoche, a recognized living Buddha, who is frequently drunk and sleeping around -- very successful with women because of his radiant presence. One Japanese master ends up screaming, to the whole monastery, "I want to get marri-i-i-i-ed" and then hangs himself. Another American master bankrupts his monastery after buying himself a luxury vehicle.

The book is presented as answers to a series of koans - Zen questions without a logical answer that are designed to bring you closer to the heart of reality (like "what is the sound of one-hand clapping?"). Each chapter is devoted to a koan. Already, this is a bit heretical, because koans aren't supposed to be discussed with anyone but your Zen teacher.

He shifts around in time. Each chapter is a stand-alone story. It makes for a different format than previous books, which were chronological, and which each described one long, straightforward experience.

In some ways, this was my least favourite of the series, because sometimes, the writing didn't seem as enticing. van de Wetering seems lost and faithless, and the writing seemed lost and faithless.

But I think in the end this is my favourite book in the series, because through his doubting of Buddhism, the masters - of everything - van de Wetering comes to what I think is a deeper understanding of truth.

I'm not sure what that truth is. It has to do with experiencing the truth as opposed to knowing it intellectually.

Pema Chodron talks about "when things fall apart" being a crucial time, spiritually -- and in Afterzen, things fall apart for van de Wetering. (I like this paragraph from Pema Chodron: "The trick is to keep exploring and not bail out, even when we find out that something is not what we thought. That's what we're going to discover again and again and again. Nothing is what we thought. I can say that with great confidence. Emptiness is not what we thought. Neither is mindfulness or fear. Compassion - not what we thought. Love. Buddha nature. Courage. These are code words for things we don't know in our minds, but any of us could experience them. These are words that point to what life really is when we let things fall apart and let ourselves be nailed to the present moment.")

van de Wetering ends the book with a description of a listless marching band on a drab day, suddenly transformed into luminous song and dance, all by the resolve of one drummer who "changes his mind" --
"As despondency was about to strike I saw the chief drummer suddenly change his mind. Why do nothing? Why not pull down all the energy of the universe? Some huge ray of power hit that diminutive player of a snare drum, a flash of divine lightning, and immediately his sticks hit the wooden sides of his drum.... and then all heaven burst loose as his mates got going around him."
Later on in that same chapter : "May as well get numb, give up.... but never mind, and the light strikes and the little boy plays the drum and his big sister Kate shimmies right behind him determined to keep it up through all hells and heavens, right out there, on a Buddha cloud with a smile, and for no particular reason, either."

I just love this ending. Personally, I've had my own experience of relying too much on a Zen teacher, and having the rug pulled out from under me when I realized that she wasn't who I thought she was.

I like his realization that people everywhere have little moments of enlightenment, of "light," in the face of darkness. And I love the image of that girl "determined to keep it up through all hells and heavens" - I find it so moving to think of that determination to live and do something meaningful, and not give up, even if you're not quite sure why.

One final thing: It's interesting to note that the preface to the second book states that it will be his last book on Buddhism. Not sure why he wrote that.

[Rickeclectic · Rating 3 out of 5]

Van de Wetering's later book about doing Zen. Like the early one, when he was first getting into zen, this one focuses on the reality of doing zen. He gives away trade secrets about zen, like the "answers" to some Koans. More importantly, he tries to get past the superficial mysticism of zen and the notion that somehow zen will cure all your spiritual ills. He is not anti-zen, but he is a zen "realist."

[Z · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Besides," I protested, "linking insight to a nationality or a race is silly. Pure being is everywhere, even in me, and I am Dutch, for God's sake. Can you imagine?"

All 3 of van de Wetering's Zen books now feature among my all-time favourites, especially Afterzen, in which he winds up the story of his experiences with Zen. Always honest and hilarious, he describes his own frustration and failures, the seemingly inevitable discovery that his former gurus and teachers were all-too-human, yet emerges sounding philosophical and no less engaged with life's mysteries than before. He seems to have been a terribly interesting person.

[Lysergius · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has been sitting on my bookshelf since 2012. Finally. Ah yes, having been a student of Zen most of my conscious life, I can fully understand the thrust of this largely autobiographical work. Ironically one is more familiar with van de Wetering as a writer of crime stories set in Amsterdam and featuring the two detectives Grijpstra and de Grier, which was the inspiration for a series of "Tatort"?

Anyway, yes, what happens when you discover all that freedom? How do you cope with it? How do you perfect your understanding? Read this and find out.

[Merrikay · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've read a couple of other books by this author and liked them a lot. I was cranky when I started this one and did not like it. As I read on or my mood improved, not sure which, or perhaps it was my understanding. I liked it more. Yes - my understanding increased. It is a memoir of his experiences after leaving the "serious" study of Zen in Japan and moving to the U.S. He is Dutch which added more interest for me. He writes each chapter round a koan, those nasty little things that annoy the hell out of me. It can be used as a light read or with more thought, a deeper read. He examines the process of having a teacher, teachers' humanity, and other issues around religious institutions. I'm giving it four stars, and I think it is worth another read still.

[Joel · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an engaging, sometimes droll read involving Westerners, the author included, who had each spent years as monks or serious lay students in Japanese Zen Buddhist monasteries. But now, each is immersed back in the West to work out (or not) a process of living in a big secular world with a very different cultural & social heritage, and range of options.

The author, an erstwhile Amsterdam policeman, is curious about how people of similar Zen experience are doing — and reveals to the reader a fair amount of world weariness in the process of finding out. Plenty of the interactions & episodes are pallid, farcical, at times tragicomic. Even macabre. I'm not representing this book to be some sort of deflating blimp; instead, I’ll say that in the last portion I noticed an upsurge in the author's recognition or comprehension. One chapter, describing a dismal reunion over a few days with an old, discouraged friend (involving, for a frightful hour, a truly perilous incident) ends with an unexpected dénouement rather smacking of ‘Divine intervention’. (!)

[Larkin Willis · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who reads at least one book a week, it is rare to discover a book where my response, finishing it, is, "Wow. Just wow." This is a great book. Van de Wetering is a gifted storyteller. That this is a memoir of his Zen ( whether he likes it or not) life makes the storytelling even more powerful. There are lessons. There is humor. There is heartbreak.

[Daishin 寺]

Janwillem Van de Wetering (1931 - 2008) es conocido, principalmente, por sus novelas policíacas. Estudió Zen bajo la guía de Oda Sessô, junto con Walter Nowick, en Daitoku-ji. Estuvo viviendo allí durante un año y describió sus experiencias en El espejo vacío. Fue galardonado con el Gran Prix de Littérature Policière en 1984.

#Historia #Udāna #Narración #Biografía #Anécdota #Sucesos

[Arjen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Het was een mooie beklimming (en afdaling) om deze drie boeken te lezen, maar een echt antwoord op het hoe/wat wordt er niet gegeven. Het lijkt alsof de auteur, naarmate de ouderdom toenam, steeds negatiever (of realistischer?) werd.

[R. · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my favorite of the trilogy. The author is in his last years, richer in experience, riffing on koans and still wrestling with existential questions but not at the feet of “masters.” And at the end, a glimpse of when a spontaneous moment erupts into affirmation.

[Robert · Rating 4 out of 5]

"... no mirror at all, new handle no frame, free passage to now, to hear."
Lovely book that makes you wish you could sit down and have a beer and a long conversation with the author.

[Jack · Rating 4 out of 5]

Delightful reading and some underlying Buddhist principles come out now and then. Enjoyed!

[Judith · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is the last book of Weterings trilogy regarding his experience with Zen buddhism. It is clear that the author could not come to terms with the sometimes eccentric style of education of his different teachers over the years. The book is mostly a chronicle of the darker side of Weterings quest to find the meaning of life.

[Ellen Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

more a series of essays but with recurring characters of Sensei, Roshi, Baba, and other disciples. I really liked it at first, but it became somewhat tiresome and repetitive. only natural that the essays should become like the koans, all telling the same story that there is nothing. nothing doesn't provide much fodder for a book, though. Love his attitude and humor.

[Denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the final of three books Janwillem van de Wetering (1931-2008) wrote about his experiences as a Zen student. He's better know for his detective novels featuring Amsterdam Detective-Sergeant Rinus de Gier and Adjutant-Detective Henk Grijpstra



Please read the full review here.

[Steve Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

After such rigorous Zen training, it was refreshing to read about how this Dutch author re-integrated into everyday life. He takes away a lot of the mystique that gets built up around Eastern religious training. I have absolutely no desire to go spend time in a monastery after reading this book!

[Geert · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dit was wel de lastigste om door te komen van de trilogie .. waar de andere boeken nog een duidelijke locatie hadden (Japan, Maine) sprong deze meer van hak op de tak, associatief door de jaren heeft, soms geen idee waar zijn gedachten waren. Toch bijzonder en zitten mooie momenten in.

[Davin · Rating 3 out of 5]

The less fun, but no less interesting, fallout of his Zen experiences.

[Ruth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This guy had quite an interesting life and this is the final volume. It gives you something to think about in regards to the meaning of life and some insight to Buddhism.

[ania · Rating 4 out of 5]

"The plot line may seem to go somewhere but soon turns bizarre. Who can make head or tail of his or her own life?"

[Mercedes Reichmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another re-read of my favorite classics over ten years later. <3 Still loving it and 11 years later ,the deeper understanding for Koans and the hidden not so hidden secrets in Zen Budhism still fascinate me and probably will do forever. ;)