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Vampire Squatters: A Horror Comedy
Six vampires. Four months of unpaid rent. One landlord who always keeps her copy.
Darlene Graves has handled squatters, foreclosure cleanouts, and a raccoon casino. She can handle one Victorian full of deadbeats.
Then one of them puts her contractor through a wall.
Her tenants are vampires. Their lawyer has been practicing since 1894. And unless Darlene finds a way to save the property before Monday’s auction, she’ll lose every dollar she sank into it—and the house she hoped would help mend things with her estranged daughter.
Armed with an eviction notice and a crew whose qualifications include pest control, paranormal livestreaming, and thirty years of being told to put the conspiracy binder away, Darlene is taking her house back.
There’s just one problem.
The vampires are keeping something in the basement.
Something older. Hungrier. And very particular about the terms of its lease.
Now Darlene has to save the tenants she came to evict, stop a foreclosure, and keep her daughter away from a house that’s starting to breathe.
Somebody owes rent. Everybody might pay.
Vampire Squatters is a horror comedy about unpaid debts, complicated families, and the woman willing to face the end of the world with a dented clipboard.
Darlene Graves has handled squatters, foreclosure cleanouts, and a raccoon casino. She can handle one Victorian full of deadbeats.
Then one of them puts her contractor through a wall.
Her tenants are vampires. Their lawyer has been practicing since 1894. And unless Darlene finds a way to save the property before Monday’s auction, she’ll lose every dollar she sank into it—and the house she hoped would help mend things with her estranged daughter.
Armed with an eviction notice and a crew whose qualifications include pest control, paranormal livestreaming, and thirty years of being told to put the conspiracy binder away, Darlene is taking her house back.
There’s just one problem.
The vampires are keeping something in the basement.
Something older. Hungrier. And very particular about the terms of its lease.
Now Darlene has to save the tenants she came to evict, stop a foreclosure, and keep her daughter away from a house that’s starting to breathe.
Somebody owes rent. Everybody might pay.
Vampire Squatters is a horror comedy about unpaid debts, complicated families, and the woman willing to face the end of the world with a dented clipboard.
196 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 24, 2026
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