Armageddon: The Musical

Armageddon #1

by Robert Rankin

It is the year 2050 and the soap opera "The Earthers" is making big video bucks in the intergalactic ratings race. Alien TV executives know exactly what the old earth drama needs to make the off-world audience sit up and stare—a spectacular Armageddon-type finale.

Genres: Fantasy, Fiction, Humor, Science Fiction, Comedy, Ebooks, Audiobook

Audiobook

First published January 1, 1990

About the author

"When Robert Rankin embarked upon his writing career in the late 1970s, his ambition was to create an entirely new literary genre, which he named Far-Fetched Fiction. He reasoned that by doing this he could avoid competing with any other living author in any known genre and would be given his own special section in WH Smith."
(from Web Site Story)

Robert Rankin describes himself as a teller of tall tales, a fitting description, assuming that he isn't lying about it. From his early beginnings as a baby in 1949, Robert Rankin has grown into a tall man of some stature. Somewhere along the way he experimented in the writing of books, and found that he could do it rather well. Not being one to light his hide under a bushel, Mister Rankin continues to write fine novels of a humorous science-fictional nature.

Reviews

[Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you’re not familiar with Robert Rankin’s work, it would be easy to say that he’s a kind of sub-Douglas Adams, in that he writes comedic SF/fantasy with a similar kind of distinctly British humour. A little too easy, really.

While the above statement is technically true, Rankin’s work has a kind of half-baked quality that lends it an almost hallucinatory aspect. It’s like the crazy ideas are rushing out of his head so fast that he doesn’t have time to refine them in the way that, say, Terry Pratchett would. This can make his plots a little hard to follow at times but it also endears him to me as it perfectly expresses his wanton, childlike glee at creating these insane scenarios.

So, I guess what I’m trying to say is that Rankin’s work definitely isn’t for everyone... but if, like me, you happen to be vibrating at roughly the same frequency as he (stop trying to turn this into a poem, brain!) then you just may enjoy this stuff enough to get to the end with a huge grin on your face.

As for this specific book, well, it’s definitely no exception. In fact, it’s even a bit further out there than some of his other stuff, but I really enjoyed it for all that. It’s set in a post-apocalyptic world where the lives of the last few survivors on Earth are unknowingly being screened as a reality t.v. show to a race of extra-terrestrial humanoid plants. The trouble is, the ratings are really starting to dip and something needs to be done to boost those viewing figures. That something ends up involving a time traveling Brussels sprout, a young Elvis Presley, the umpteenth reincarnation of the Dalai Lama and a group of faux-aristocratic cannibals...

... so, just your regular, run-of-the-mill novel, really.

[Paul · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is the first novel in the Armageddon Series by “far-fetched fiction” writer Robert Rankin.

Rankin is the author of one of my favorite books, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse. I find his writing style to be similar to Terry Pratchett, another author I really enjoy. I thought I’d have a good chance of enjoying this novel when I chose it at random but it didn’t live up to my expectations.

The overall plot seemed to ramble. Having several worlds, dimensions and time-planes involved likely added to the confusion. The characters included human-like, plant-based TV executives, a post-apocalyptic Earth that survives by watching TV, religious leader Dalai Lama Dan that controls his TV viewing population through narcotic Buddhabeer, and Elvis Presley with a time traveling brussel sprout embedded in his brain.

The book does provide for some interesting social commentary about our relationship with religion and the media. It’s also full of British humor with puns and wordplay. At least it was a quick read. Like the book says, “Every mushroom cloud has a silver lining.”

[Si Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first Rankin book I read, back in the early 90's, and I've lost count of how many times I've re-read it since.

[Nini · Rating 4 out of 5]

As always Robert Rankins alternate universe is one full of surprises. I am a fan of time sprouts and enjoyed the time travel in this story. I particularly enjoyed Rankins comic take on a post apocolyptic Earth and his views on realty TV and the ideas of a master plan I found to be as agreeable as they were hilarious. The unwitting hero Rex is a well written if put upon character and who doesnt love a bit of Elvis. My favourite parts of the story did focus around some of the "supporting cast" of Cahracters and I literally LOL'd during the parts of the story concerning Eric and Rambo. Definitely worth a read and I will definitely be continuing with the adventures of Elvis and his time sprout in the remainder of the trilogy.

[Pewterbreath · Rating 1 out of 5]

There are people who would love Rankin's zany take on the apocalypse. For me it's way too freewheeling and manic for me to enjoy it. It's as if The Hitchhiker's Guide was rewritten by someone on speed, smooshing all sorts of ideas in an almost incomprehensible mish-mosh. We've got Elvis, we've got a talking sprout, a future incarnation of the Dalai Lama, Jesus and his twin sister Christine, television, and post nuclear mad max shenanigans. I can't say that this book has no redeeming features, nor that there's not an audience for it. I can only say that I thoroughly did not enjoy it.

[Nen Simmons · Rating 4 out of 5]

Earth is being manipulated by aliens who are using it as a reality TV show. Trouble is, ratings have now slumped for the post-apocalyptic world were everything is controlled by 3 main religions, so they decide to send a time-travelling sprout back to 1958 to contact Elvis Presley and alter the course of history. The fact that this plot seems perfectly plausible is testament to Robert Rankin's excellent rating and alarming imagination. Also has the usual running gags ( Ian Paisley etc) and the customary glossing-over of continuity errors that are his trade mark.

[[ J o ] · Rating 4 out of 5]

[Short and quick review from memory before I re-read and re-review at a later date:

I mean, really. XD Just the title is bringing joy to me. I think this is the Rankin book that really made me love him quite severely.]

[Louise · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a strange mix of Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch, The Truman Show and Redshirts. And when I say strange I mean strange, but in a really good and fun way.
People who can't laugh at Christianity or L. Ron Hubbard should probably steer clear though.

[Ana · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my first book by Robert Rankin and I came to it knowing almost nothing. It is indeed written in a style reminiscent of Douglas Adams' work - absurdist SF with caustic one liners and waaaaaay too much shit happening all the time. It's all about the fast paced, seemingly LSD and mushroom fueled story line, with weird characters doing odd things and a world built out of vulgarity and contradictions. I am 100% into that kind of stuff, if it's done right. I'm aware that not many readers can sit through this kind of prose, because it is jumpy and fast paced, but give it a shot. As with the best in the genre, you might find that there is some astute social, political and in general human commentary underneath it all.

[Aletha Tavares · Rating 5 out of 5]

hilarious!!
its the future 2050- the characters of dalai lama, elvis priestly who the former thinks will kill him, is being brought back to earth to up the ratings of the soap opera the Earthers by the planet phnaargos, who feel that all that has been happening on earth is war , killings, blood violence & sex and need to inject the viewing with something different- but this goes awry thanks to the GOD wo is also side stepped by his sister.
this si cosmic fun in all its galaxious humour

[Gillian Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt my favourite trilogy of all time.
Rankin has been often compared to Pratchet, but in my opinion he outshines him by far.
This book has elements from reality and a vast imagination inside of Rankin's mind that will make you take a look into your very soul and examine it.
Barry the sprout is an inspiration to us all.

[Doreen Dalesandro · Rating 4 out of 5]

Genre: sci-fi humor
Rating: 3.75
I listened to this book.

One word describes this book: whacky! It is lots of fun!

Robert Rankin does a great job narrating his book!

[Anastasia Kasimidou · Rating 5 out of 5]

Καυστικό, γεμάτο συμβολισμούς, διασκεδαστικό και πολύ ενδιαφέρον!

[Ru · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was my introduction to Robert Rankin, and it almost broke my brain. It remains one of the most unhinged things I've ever read. This is Terry Pratchet, but without the worthiness. On speed, acid and magic mushrooms.

Overall I probably prefer the less frenetic, more grounded humour of Rankin's Ealing books, but as an exercise in stark raving bonkers, I doubt this has an equal. That said, it's difficult to compare it with Rankin's other books in the same vein, because by the time I read them my view of reality had already been permanently reset by this psychological hand-grenade of a novel.

Read when completely unprepared, its effect was devastating: like being trapped in a cheese-dream which didn't stop even when I'd woken up. I howled and gibbered with laughter. Not just while reading it, either. The effect was cumulative. Recalling what I'd read, I found myself bursting into deranged laughter days later. Bystanders in shops would look at me strangely.

I can't remember anything else that's had that effect, before or since. Its memory feels like one of those wince-inducingly insane things you do when you're young and irresponsible, which you can't quite bring yourself entirely to regret.

[Steve · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have enjoyed nearly everything I have read by Robert Rankin, especially his Brentford books. However, I really struggled with this one. The characters are two dimensional and very hard to keep track of. The plot is really convoluted and confusing and the narrative bounces all over the place. As a fan of Rankin, I went into this expecting a load of nonsense. But usually the nonsense is funnier and when things get truly chaotic, the chaos is more short-lived. I kept expecting the insanity to build to a crescendo until some lady in a straw hat became an unexpected casualty. But more than anything, I expected the plot would move forward and start making sense before it became monotonous. Unfortunately that didn't happen. If you are new to Robert Rankin, I would recommend The Antipope as your port of entry. This one is a pass. 2/5

[Lance · Rating 3 out of 5]

“ The universe started with a sound like a duck call, then a whistle, then an enormous wind-break.”

This was my first Robert Rankin book, and I thoroughly enjoyed the surreal ride. Unable to pass up an author recommended by Sir Terry Pratchett (and interminably by my Goodreads Recommendations feed), I picked out the one that sounded the most epic to me. Post-nuclear Apocalypse. Armageddon. Aliens making reality TV out of human evolution.
Although the premise is fairly similar to Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman’s Good Omens, which I found missed the mark for me when I read it in 2016, I personally preferred Rankin’s Armageddon: The Musical. I think the way it embraced its own naffness circumvented the problem of material dating, which affects all comedy writing. I enjoyed the literal depiction of the alien Phnaargs as green-skinned men, like the lowest budget extras in a 1980s episode of Staer Trek. “ The erect biped represents the universal architype when it comes to the ‘intelligent’ being. This has long been known to science-fiction aficionados and UFO contactees.” There was no attempt to make the visual epic or stylish, just a great commitment to mocking the era.
Much of the book focuses on the squalid post-nuclear suburbia, a literal soap opera of the mundane lives of the survivors of the end of civilisation. “ When Rex had asked to be shown exactly where they were on the map, Uncle Tony had shaken his head, and said that he didn’t know. Then he had wept.” It’s a benighted world, where poverty and beaurocracy march on much as they do today. “Although the water was bit iffy, and lamb looked like it would be off the menu for some time, the TV was back on within the week, which can’t be bad by any reckoning.” Rankin cleverly subverts a lot of the 1980s-1990s middle class fear about the social implications of watching too much television by having literal food rations apportioned in accordance with how much television you watch and major religious figures preaching game shows instead of sermons.
And who are these surviving religions? The Bhuddists, led by the Dhalai Lama. All fundamentalists, finally under the sway of L. Ron Hubbard. And … Wait for it …
The Jesuits!
Having attended Jesuit school for far too long as a teenager, this joke genuinely brought tears to my eyes. There aren’t enough literary jokes about Jesuits.
Meanwhile, those green low-budget Phnaargs are meeting in soulless boardroom clashes to try and reverse the decrease in rating for hit reality TV show The Eathers. “‘Must I remind you that this series has an original script?’” (even if the was scheduled to end in the year 999 A.D.) Why are they so much more advanced than us if they look human? “On Phnaargos, the cathode ray-tube grew wild.” And every twig, flower, and clump off moss on Earth is a Phnaargian recording device. They epitomise everything ruthless and cut-throat about big media. “ Someone on fire jumped from a third floor window ‘Zoom in on the corpse. Hold and cut.’” “‘But they are our people, that is murder.’ ‘No, Morgowr, that is showbiz.’” But their public just aren’t that interested in watching bunker-bound humanity watching television (clearly the Phnaargs haven’t got Googlebox). Their great plan? Bring back popular character Elvis Presley with an infuriating time-travelling sprout.
Even their attempt to bring Elvis forwards from 1958 looks like a terrible special effect. “‘Perhaps when you actually go back in time things aren’t the way they should be. Possibly when the present becomes the past it sort of decays.’” No wonder the human race isn’t up to much in the year 2050. “’ If only the morons had done what was required of them throughout their history they would all be living in Utopia now.’” As if a TV-addicted capitalist species knows anything about Utopia.
The book is full of irreverent humour. There is total disregard for the forth wall. “‘Oh,’ said Deathblade Eric, ‘It’s us. I thought we were dead.’” Characters talk about escaping their own subplots to become major characters and vanishing from the plot. There are lots of splatterpunk deaths. There is a nuclear warhead called a “ Sneekie Reekie” It asks the characters too feel sorry for it when it’s found to be a bud. “ Death was always a squalid affair, but Rex, like all men, had laboured under the misconception that his would have some dignity about it.” The style is compelling, there’s something almost grimdark about its contempt for its own poignancy.
The one aspect that I wasn’t comfortable about in this novel, and the reason that I had to deduct a star, was the consistent objectification of women. “The floor was littered with Coca Cola cans, empty Bourbon bottles, Kentucky Fried Chicken boxes, and several Chinese women in various states of undress.” See what I mean? I know that misogyny was rife in the 1980s power-media, but this relegation of women to furniture was never subverted or challenged. Almost all of the characters are male, and those few female characters are shrewish and only really appreciated for their bodies. If Rankin can modernise his writing more in his other works, I think he could be a new favourite author to rival Tom Holt.
“‘God thrives on flattery, worship, and applause. He created man in his own image. So he’s only human after all. He created another planet, Phnaargos, and a race, the Phnaargs, whose job it was to stage-manage the whole show.’”

[J.M. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read one book by this author already and enjoyed it so much I wanted to read another. My sister bought it for me for Christmas 2009. While I finished it, I didn't find it the "rip-roaring comedy" hailed by the critics on the cover. It was confusing at times but interesting enough to keep me reading. However, it's part of a trilogy, and I don't see myself rushing out to pick up the next volume any time soon.

[Keith Davis · Rating 2 out of 5]

Armageddon the Musical never seems to be quite as funny as it is trying to be. You get the impression that the author is trying very hard to be Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett but not quite getting there. All the ingredients are there, but it is like a cake that fails to rise and you are left wondering if a step got missed somewhere in the recipe.

[Alesia · Rating 5 out of 5]

A time-traveling sprout named Barry, that lives in Elvis Presley's head. What more do I need to say?

[Mel]

This is just not doing it for me. On its way to the ditched stack.

[Mike Abney · Rating 3 out of 5]

Entertaining, but probably not worth your time.

Cons:

The book is, frankly, a bit sexist. There is one female character (of maybe 3) with any authority however she is made out to be stuck-up, man-hating, and—in the end—incompetent. The next closest is essentially a fantasy love interest about whom I cannot say much more without spoilers. All other females mentioned in the book are there for the physical pleasure of the males.

The book does some fun things with time travel, but the formatting, at least on the Kindle version, makes this even harder to follow than it needs to be. Scenes (and time) changes are run into each other without any visible spacing. It's used to good effect a few times, but becomes annoying after 50 or so times of not being used except as a way to be confusing.

Pros:

It's free on Kindle Unlimited, which is how I ran into it in the first place.

There are some funny bits and some decent political and philosophical ideas and points made.

Overall:

The sexism isn't overt and is likely unintentional. If you can give that a pass, then the book is potentially worth reading. That said, I cannot recommend it. There are good ideas in there, but it is also quite clunky at times. I may attempt to read the second book (this is the first in a trilogy) since it is also free via Kindle Unlimited, but I am just as likely to pay to read something else to avoid it.

[Ross Thompson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Disclaimer - this was my first full audiobook ever, so part of the rating and review may be based on the medium, and my attention span, rather than the underlying book.
I discovered Rankin's books in my late teens as an alternative from Discworld and as my local library seemed to have an over-abundance of his books. I don't think I ever read the Armageddon books, or the original Brentford series, but something about this book did ring a bell, so I can't be totally certain I didn't read this book around the turn of the century (I know I bought it but can't seem to find it - that means I either read it and donated it, or it didn't survive the cull when we moved house, which i refuse to believe).
The book starts with Rex Mundi in a futuristic Earth, where the population have to put in the hard yards with hours of watching TV in order to earn food and water (a little like an episode of Black Mirror). There then follows a revelation that Earth is simply a reality TV show devised by an alien race who are planning a big event, a time-travelling Elvis and the anti-christ.
As one would expect from Rankin, his narrative is very charming and amusing, but the plot and characters quite daft and cartoony (in a good way). There is plenty of 4th wall-breaking throughout - which adds more value on audiobook as he himself narrates it.
There is a fair amount of sexism in the book, which probably fits with his target audience, but in this day and age it really did kind of stand out. There is nothing particularly bad, but every female character is either an old harridan or a sex object for one of the male characters. I don't think there would be much enjoyment here for a female reader, and while I have tried to persuade my eldest daughter to read Pratchett, I don't feel I could do this with Rankin.
The plot hinges on some sudden and unexpected events at the end of chapters, which I would normally re-read if reading an actual book to see exactly what had happened - I didn't take the time to do this on audiobook, but as per my disclaimer I think this is more about my attention span and needing to focus while listening, rather than while doing the dishes.
A clever plot, amusing narrative, but lost a mark for the dated sexism and over-geekiness.

[Monica Myers · Rating 2 out of 5]

Utterly bonkers. At times I found this book hilarious. Then there were the other times when I just scratched my head at it. Aside from wanting to avoid spoilers, a summary of the plot would just sound like word salad if you haven't read the book. Going into this, I was expecting Rankin to be the Terry Pratchett of sci-fi...I was disappointed. Pratchett's books have a timeless quality to them, probably because they used silliness and irreverence to say something serious. Themes like social inequality, mortality and morality will always be relevant. By contrast Rankin's books often go for the cheap laugh and the extensive references to late twentieth century history and culture mean that they haven't aged well. Side note. I make allowances for a book being a product of its time, but the casual homophobia and misogyny got a little grating after a while. Having said that...this is my first experience of a prolific author and I'm actually curious to try some of his later works and see how they evolved.

[Simon Bostock · Rating 3 out of 5]

First of the Armageddon trilogy. A post nuclear apocalyse earth, where the surviving inhabitants spend their lives in bunkers watching TV to earn credits. Meanwhile, alien TV execs are trying to boost viewing figures of earthers and are back to meddle in human society.

I found this book to be initially confusing, switching back and forth between earth and phnaargos, with what in a film would be considered jump cuts. The story played out with the usual in universe jokes and breaking the forth wall, where a character has a realisation that they were no longer required from a plot point or characters returning and remarking they had more involvement in the story.

Once the story is under way, Rex managing to survive, evermore explicable situations, was fun to watch, and it never felt deus ex machina. The commentary on religion and the use of buddhabeer to anesthetise the viewing public and the way TV became the opiate of the masses.

Overall worth a read.

[L J H · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fantasy in the furthest reaches of the word. This book contains many complex plots/subplots. Characters that needed considerably more explanations than were given might have helped the story to flow a little better.(for me personally) But would have meant a much longer read.
I would like to think I have a good imagination and quick wit. But..through this cramped and chaotic story I became confused much easier than I should.
I love Terry Pratchett ..and was wholesomely recommended this book as being 'similar' to his style of writing. I found very little humour or likability in most of the characters..which is unlike me..as I do enjoy post apocalyptic/end of the world scenario as a rule.
I appreciate this book is part of a series. So maybe the following parts do improve the enjoyment of the story

[George Morrison · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rankin's fantasy is chaotic, irreverent, and occasionally witty. I enjoyed it and recommend it for a light summer read.

Set fifty years in the future, Armageddon provides a wry take on the dystopian futures that have become de rigueur in modern sci-fi, positing a world where we all sit around drinking Buddha-beer and watching TV (mandatory). How the world gets in that state is revealed in a layered approach throughout the novel and was well done.

The characterizations are deliberately flat (and self-consciously so, which is part of the fun). It takes some time to develop empathy for the protagonist (Rex Mundi), and at first I was put off by the introduction of Elvis as a character, but Rankin manages to pull it off.

And the aliens? They remind me of the old saying, "when you point your finger at somebody, there are four others pointing back at you."

[Marta · Rating 3 out of 5]

Don’t ask me what this book is about... but it is funny. We got a time traveling Elvis, a completely evil but all powerful Dalai Lama, multiple layers of interplanetary reality TV, a send-up of media-controlled dumb masses, plant-based tehnology... it is all a mad dash, confusing, but readable, and fun.

Rankin is often compared to Pratchett, and there are similarities in the humor, the crazy plots tgat bend in on itself, and casual playing with scientific concepts. But while Pratchett’s characters are drawn with compassion and great understanding and love for hunan failings, Rankin’s characters are often mean, shallow or incompetent, although always very self-referencing, which makes it not mean spirited overall.

It is a fun light romp, great for vacation.

[Philhatch · Rating 1 out of 5]

A thesaurus was definitely used in the writing of this book. Which I think might be the main reason the narrative flows like treacle, what with all the Very Clever sentences. But also the thin characterisation, the utterly nonsensical plot (there is almost no internal logic whatsoever) and the tired old boob jokes (at times it's just really creepy). It really really needs a big old edit by someone who doesn't believe trying to cram three jokes into every sentence is actually a very good idea after all.

Shame. I remember quite enjoying The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies Of The Apocalypse, and The Witches Of Chiswick.

[Sean Keefe · Rating 2 out of 5]

I love Rankin, but I found this one to be a real stinker. I flunk the jokes flat, the plot inconsequential, and the whole thing devoid of his usual genius. Took me almost a week to get through, and I normally polish his books off in a couple of days. Ah well, with such a great catalogue as Rankin's, there's gotta be the odd one that doesn't match the heights of his other stuff. Onwards to better.

[Jen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ve read quite a lot of Rankin books, not in order, obviously, and I always enjoy them. I struggled a little with this one, the plot moved just a little too much for me and I found it challenging to follow. I don’t know if that’s because I read it during lockdown when I found it difficult to concentrate or if this one is a little overly confusing! Still good to dip into Rankin’s chaotic mind, you need a good sense of humour to get through these days!