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201 Relationship Questions: The Couple’s Guide to Building Trust and Emotional Intimacy
Do You Experience Deep Love and Intimacy In Your Relationship? Wouldn’t it be great to have a relationship counselor on call to help you and your love partner have the most joyful, loving relationship possible? What if you had someone who knew exactly what to ask to draw out your deepest desires and help you calmly navigate areas of pain or conflict? Having a coach is wonderful, but if you know the right questions to ask one another, you can start right now building the relationship you both desire. The Power of Questions For Couples Mutual questioning is a powerful technique to draw out deeper emotions and desires and address potential areas of conflict before they disrupt your closeness. The right questions inspire understanding, compassion and action for positive change. Questions What does unconditional love mean to you? Do I do anything to make you feel disrespected? How can I listen to you better so you feel completely heard? What should I never say to you, even in anger? How can I make you feel more desirable and sexy? Take How Relationship Questions Can Change Your Life When you and your partner embark on a mutual questioning journey, you are committing to an intimate, satisfying, joyful life together. Rather than waiting for conflict and resentment to inflict a surprise attack, you’re proactively addressing the needs and wounds both of you carry and reinforcing your commitment to the relationship above all else. This journey will be enlightening, fun, and sometimes challenging -- but the rewards are immeasurable, as you lay the groundwork for a lifetime of happiness together. 201 Relationship The Couple's Guide to Building Trust and Emotional Intimacy 201 Relationship Questions is your guide to creating a happier, healthier, sexier, and more intimate connection. Share each question, read the question prompts, invite discussion, and keep a personal journal of the changes you both want to make. Action is required, as your answers to the questions reveal exactly what you need to do to protect and strengthen your connection.Set aside sacred time together for questions each day, and keep your relationship fresh and exciting for a lifetime. This book is a great wedding gift or Christmas gift for couples.
127 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 2, 2015
1687 people are currently reading
515 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
April 4, 2017
Can't wait!
I can't wait to work on these questions with my partner. I feel we will learn so much about each other on a deeper level and it will build strength and trust between us. Great book!
I can't wait to work on these questions with my partner. I feel we will learn so much about each other on a deeper level and it will build strength and trust between us. Great book!
April 29, 2021
This is for all you lovers out there . . . <3 <3
8.5/10
201 Relationship Questions is not really a “guide”, as the subtitle suggests, but it’s a solid selection of thematically organized questions to get you and your partner talking about stuff that matters.
“All problems in relationships boil down to one thing: a lack of empathic communication.”
There are ten questions in each of the twenty sections in this book. Themes include: feeling loved, respect and kindness, communication, emotional needs, personal boundaries, sex and affection, emotional intimacy, personal habits, disagreements and differences, past wounds, time together and alone, friends, extended family, spiritual life and values, health and fitness, work, children and parenting, money, life crises, goals and dreams.
The book suggests going through an entire section with your partner every day for twenty straight days. My partner and I didn't follow that guideline. We did it at our own pace. We always took the time we dedicated to a discussion to complete the whole section—complete with getting comfortable, removing any external distractions, and having notebooks and pencils handy. We spent months with this book, though, before finishing the whole thing. We started some time in the summer and finished early the following spring.
This book is put together by Barrie Davenport and was put out by Bold Living Press in 2015. Davenport runs a blog (at LiveBoldandBloom.com), which has free articles on self-improvement, personal development, relationship building, mindfulness, lifestyle—that kind of stuff.
The blog also has courses that Davenport has created which you can purchase. Available courses designed by Davenport include: Couples Communication, Book Writing, “The Confidence Course”, Path to Passion, Emotional Abuse, and “The Habits Course”. She has written other self-help type books and various related products available for purchase, such as “Mindful Meditators: 58 Card Prompts to Focus Your Meditation Time” and “3 Things a Day: A Minimalist Journal for More Focus with Less Stress”. I haven’t read any of her other books, paid for any of the courses she has designed, or used any of her other products. I simply perused her blog out of curiosity while working on this review. Hopefully it may give you, the reader, a better idea of what Davenport is up to as a writer and content creator than the labels ascribed to her in the small “About the Author” blurb on the back cover of 201 Relationship Questions: labels such as “self-improvement thought leader” and “certified coach”. Titles of books she has written shouted out in this blurb are: Finely Tuned, Peace of Mindfulness, Building Confidence, and 155 Self-Discovery Questions. I think you get the picture.
Right before the table of contents of 201 Relationship Questions is a page telling you the Free Gift that you may receive along with your purchase of the book:
“As a way of saying thank you for your purchase, you’re invited to enroll in our Relationship Questions Companion Course. I Hope you enjoy this free resource.
You can join this free course by going to this site: liveboldandbloom.com/free-relationshi... ”
It appears that you can enroll in this course for free whether you have purchased the book or not, looking at it now. There is no special code or secret password or anything like that. My partner and I did not enroll in the free course. I hadn't looked at it until now, after we have already finished the book (so I can’t speak on that—whether it’s good or not, a helpful companion to the book or not).
More according to “About Barrie Davenport” inside the book: “She utilizes time-tested, evidence-based, action-oriented principles and methods to create real and measurable results for self-improvement.”
I cannot say whether or not Davenport’s principles and methods in writing and designing this book time-tested and/or evidence-based. Mostly, we can only assume she has done her research and/or has read plenty of it. Most of what is cited in the back-end of the book are links to resources on her Live Bold and Bloom Blog and a list of eleven “Other Books You Might Enjoy from Barrie Davenport”. Although, she does also cite the Pew Research Center (pewsocialtrends.org), Cornell University (news.cornell.edu/stories), Gary Chapman (focusonthefamily.com — and the guy that wrote about the five love languages, I believe), and Linda and Charlie Bloom.
This book is certainly action-oriented, even though it’s a book of discussion questions. Discourse is an action between two people. Plus, each themed section ends with a “Follow-up” encouraging continued action beyond the discussion, beyond purely thinking about things, purely talking about things, without making any real changes in your relationship on a day-to-day basis. Here’s an example:
“Follow-up: Are there any behavior adjustments you’d like to request from your partner related to feeling loved? What specific action steps will you both take to help your partner feel more loved? Write these down and determine how and when you will initiate these changes or actions.”
This one is from the end of Section 1: Feeling Loved. I like the intention behind these follow-ups and we appreciated the action-oriented reminders as we wrapped up each discussion topic. They get repetitive though. Of course, thinking in an action-oriented way is an ongoing practice and it is important in a relationship to continually be open, to communicate, to make your needs and wants clear, and to act upon the feedback you receive from your partner. Again, the intention is great. The repetition just makes each section a little too formulaic, which in turn makes the follow-up too easy to gloss over, to read through aloud while spacing out beyond the page, to recite in the rote memorization way that young students are made to repeat the Pledge of Allegiance whether they understand it or not. Each follow-up is the same paragraph with only the theme of the section inserted into the appropriate area. Here’s the template:
“Follow-up: Are there any behavior adjustments you’d like to request from your partner related to [TITLE OF SECTION]? What specific action steps will you both take to help [you and/or your partner (if noun) better understand TITLE OF SECTION, or (if verb) [TITLE OF SECTION] better ? Write these down and determine how and when you will initiate these changes or actions.”
Sometimes “better understand” becomes “enhance” or “improve” (as in “enhance your sex life”, “enhance your closeness and connection”, “improve your habits together and change habits that need changing”, “improve your conflict resolution and understanding of each other during conflict”, etc., etc.), but you get the picture (again). It gets repetitive. Also, the book doesn’t really offer readers any real and/or measurable way to keep track of whether or not you and your partner stick to the behavior adjustments (as promised in the beginning). I guess the Introduction does say to “[s]et up a system of gentle reminders and accountability for each other, and be patient as you both strive to be a better, more attentive, loving partner for the other.” It really is up to you and your partner to hold each other accountable in whatever way works for you. A relationship is something to work at after all. And it is worth it.
Other than the repetition, some questions and/or entire sections may feel silly to slog through if the topics don’t apply to the life of you and your partner. For example: the “Children and Parenting” section. My partner and I do not have kids, so we could not truthfully answer questions like: What are our guiding principles as parents? What do you see as my best parenting skills? Where do you struggle most in parenting our children? We were still able to discuss all of these in the hypothetical, however. We still learned more about each other, and it may have helped us be more prepared for the future, in general, for whatever life throws at us. It couldn’t hurt!
After slogging through the repetition, it was a refreshing bit of fun to go through the “50 Bonus Questions for Fun” at the back-end of the book. These extra questions go all over the place in terms of themes and they don’t each have a whole paragraph of explanation and further description underneath (as every question in every other section does) or any formulaic follow-ups.
There is nothing revolutionary in this book, but it’s a good conversation starter and a reminder to set aside dedicated chunks of time to actively working on your relationship.
If you live with your partner, as I do, it can be too easy to forget to spend quality time together. This is especially true if you are reading this during quarantine times—that is, if you and your partner are both home together most of the time. It’s easy to think you are spending time together because you happen to be physically near each other in the same building. It’s easy to think that you communicate enough because you talk to each other every day, here and there. It’s easy to neglect active listening. 201 Relationship Questions is a good relationship companion that helps you set aside time on a regular basis to focus on talking and listening with your partner—and nothing else! For that, it’s a pretty damn good book. It helps you get back to the type of open and profound conversations that you had on your first few dates, when you were just getting to know each other. Only, hopefully, you will be less nervous, you will sweat less, and your relationship will grow stronger day-by-day.
8.5/10
201 Relationship Questions is not really a “guide”, as the subtitle suggests, but it’s a solid selection of thematically organized questions to get you and your partner talking about stuff that matters.
“All problems in relationships boil down to one thing: a lack of empathic communication.”
There are ten questions in each of the twenty sections in this book. Themes include: feeling loved, respect and kindness, communication, emotional needs, personal boundaries, sex and affection, emotional intimacy, personal habits, disagreements and differences, past wounds, time together and alone, friends, extended family, spiritual life and values, health and fitness, work, children and parenting, money, life crises, goals and dreams.
The book suggests going through an entire section with your partner every day for twenty straight days. My partner and I didn't follow that guideline. We did it at our own pace. We always took the time we dedicated to a discussion to complete the whole section—complete with getting comfortable, removing any external distractions, and having notebooks and pencils handy. We spent months with this book, though, before finishing the whole thing. We started some time in the summer and finished early the following spring.
This book is put together by Barrie Davenport and was put out by Bold Living Press in 2015. Davenport runs a blog (at LiveBoldandBloom.com), which has free articles on self-improvement, personal development, relationship building, mindfulness, lifestyle—that kind of stuff.
The blog also has courses that Davenport has created which you can purchase. Available courses designed by Davenport include: Couples Communication, Book Writing, “The Confidence Course”, Path to Passion, Emotional Abuse, and “The Habits Course”. She has written other self-help type books and various related products available for purchase, such as “Mindful Meditators: 58 Card Prompts to Focus Your Meditation Time” and “3 Things a Day: A Minimalist Journal for More Focus with Less Stress”. I haven’t read any of her other books, paid for any of the courses she has designed, or used any of her other products. I simply perused her blog out of curiosity while working on this review. Hopefully it may give you, the reader, a better idea of what Davenport is up to as a writer and content creator than the labels ascribed to her in the small “About the Author” blurb on the back cover of 201 Relationship Questions: labels such as “self-improvement thought leader” and “certified coach”. Titles of books she has written shouted out in this blurb are: Finely Tuned, Peace of Mindfulness, Building Confidence, and 155 Self-Discovery Questions. I think you get the picture.
Right before the table of contents of 201 Relationship Questions is a page telling you the Free Gift that you may receive along with your purchase of the book:
“As a way of saying thank you for your purchase, you’re invited to enroll in our Relationship Questions Companion Course. I Hope you enjoy this free resource.
You can join this free course by going to this site: liveboldandbloom.com/free-relationshi... ”
It appears that you can enroll in this course for free whether you have purchased the book or not, looking at it now. There is no special code or secret password or anything like that. My partner and I did not enroll in the free course. I hadn't looked at it until now, after we have already finished the book (so I can’t speak on that—whether it’s good or not, a helpful companion to the book or not).
More according to “About Barrie Davenport” inside the book: “She utilizes time-tested, evidence-based, action-oriented principles and methods to create real and measurable results for self-improvement.”
I cannot say whether or not Davenport’s principles and methods in writing and designing this book time-tested and/or evidence-based. Mostly, we can only assume she has done her research and/or has read plenty of it. Most of what is cited in the back-end of the book are links to resources on her Live Bold and Bloom Blog and a list of eleven “Other Books You Might Enjoy from Barrie Davenport”. Although, she does also cite the Pew Research Center (pewsocialtrends.org), Cornell University (news.cornell.edu/stories), Gary Chapman (focusonthefamily.com — and the guy that wrote about the five love languages, I believe), and Linda and Charlie Bloom.
This book is certainly action-oriented, even though it’s a book of discussion questions. Discourse is an action between two people. Plus, each themed section ends with a “Follow-up” encouraging continued action beyond the discussion, beyond purely thinking about things, purely talking about things, without making any real changes in your relationship on a day-to-day basis. Here’s an example:
“Follow-up: Are there any behavior adjustments you’d like to request from your partner related to feeling loved? What specific action steps will you both take to help your partner feel more loved? Write these down and determine how and when you will initiate these changes or actions.”
This one is from the end of Section 1: Feeling Loved. I like the intention behind these follow-ups and we appreciated the action-oriented reminders as we wrapped up each discussion topic. They get repetitive though. Of course, thinking in an action-oriented way is an ongoing practice and it is important in a relationship to continually be open, to communicate, to make your needs and wants clear, and to act upon the feedback you receive from your partner. Again, the intention is great. The repetition just makes each section a little too formulaic, which in turn makes the follow-up too easy to gloss over, to read through aloud while spacing out beyond the page, to recite in the rote memorization way that young students are made to repeat the Pledge of Allegiance whether they understand it or not. Each follow-up is the same paragraph with only the theme of the section inserted into the appropriate area. Here’s the template:
“Follow-up: Are there any behavior adjustments you’d like to request from your partner related to [TITLE OF SECTION]? What specific action steps will you both take to help [you and/or your partner (if noun) better understand TITLE OF SECTION, or (if verb) [TITLE OF SECTION] better ? Write these down and determine how and when you will initiate these changes or actions.”
Sometimes “better understand” becomes “enhance” or “improve” (as in “enhance your sex life”, “enhance your closeness and connection”, “improve your habits together and change habits that need changing”, “improve your conflict resolution and understanding of each other during conflict”, etc., etc.), but you get the picture (again). It gets repetitive. Also, the book doesn’t really offer readers any real and/or measurable way to keep track of whether or not you and your partner stick to the behavior adjustments (as promised in the beginning). I guess the Introduction does say to “[s]et up a system of gentle reminders and accountability for each other, and be patient as you both strive to be a better, more attentive, loving partner for the other.” It really is up to you and your partner to hold each other accountable in whatever way works for you. A relationship is something to work at after all. And it is worth it.
Other than the repetition, some questions and/or entire sections may feel silly to slog through if the topics don’t apply to the life of you and your partner. For example: the “Children and Parenting” section. My partner and I do not have kids, so we could not truthfully answer questions like: What are our guiding principles as parents? What do you see as my best parenting skills? Where do you struggle most in parenting our children? We were still able to discuss all of these in the hypothetical, however. We still learned more about each other, and it may have helped us be more prepared for the future, in general, for whatever life throws at us. It couldn’t hurt!
After slogging through the repetition, it was a refreshing bit of fun to go through the “50 Bonus Questions for Fun” at the back-end of the book. These extra questions go all over the place in terms of themes and they don’t each have a whole paragraph of explanation and further description underneath (as every question in every other section does) or any formulaic follow-ups.
There is nothing revolutionary in this book, but it’s a good conversation starter and a reminder to set aside dedicated chunks of time to actively working on your relationship.
If you live with your partner, as I do, it can be too easy to forget to spend quality time together. This is especially true if you are reading this during quarantine times—that is, if you and your partner are both home together most of the time. It’s easy to think you are spending time together because you happen to be physically near each other in the same building. It’s easy to think that you communicate enough because you talk to each other every day, here and there. It’s easy to neglect active listening. 201 Relationship Questions is a good relationship companion that helps you set aside time on a regular basis to focus on talking and listening with your partner—and nothing else! For that, it’s a pretty damn good book. It helps you get back to the type of open and profound conversations that you had on your first few dates, when you were just getting to know each other. Only, hopefully, you will be less nervous, you will sweat less, and your relationship will grow stronger day-by-day.
July 2, 2019
This is a great book for couples at any stage--young, old, newlyweds or seniors. It's not for marriages in trouble or for couples (or either partner) who don't enjoy opening up and being vulnerable. The questions are excellent conversation starters. My husband and I often take just one question to talk about in a car doing somewhere or chatting over breakfast. the discussion that ensues usually takes us deeper when we feel we already knew the answer. It's not a threatening exercise unless one of you is feeling insecure in the relationship.
February 7, 2019
This book is a must-read for couples who want deeper connections with their partners and more fulfilling relationships. Lack of meaningful communication is at the core of most relationship issues. I've historically had difficulties opening up and communicating given my introverted nature. 201 Relationship Questions is a great guide that couples can use to broach those difficult questions that are challenging but so important to communicate openly about in a relationship like money, spirituality, personal needs, and boundaries, intimacy, children, friends, health and more.
September 16, 2017
Very Helpful book really enjoyed reading about the different topics you can discuss with you significant other. This books cover every area of being in a relationship and it can really make you and your partner grow closer on many levels.
November 20, 2017
A lot of great questions to use when talking to your significant other.
November 6, 2020
Common sense stuff. A waste of my time.
January 22, 2021
Getting divorced.
April 18, 2021
A good book for couples, but not as interesting as the other books I have read..
June 28, 2021
Good conversation starters but a lot of the questions felt a bit repetitive.
May 11, 2025
This book is a thoughtful and practical guide for couples looking to deepen their connection through meaningful conversation. With 201 insightful questions, it encourages honest dialogue, emotional growth, and a stronger bond. Easy to use and full of heart, it's a valuable tool for building trust, intimacy, and lasting love. A great gift for any couple ready to grow together.
September 27, 2015
an exciting, interesting & thought provoking read for anyone who is in or wants to improve their relationship with a significant other
a quick, easy and practical read
a quick, easy and practical read
November 17, 2017
This is a nice book of questions. Couples can each answer the questions and in this way learn about each other and create greater intimacy.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews