How We Grieve: Relearning the World

by Thomas Attig

What do we do when a friend, relative, or loved one dies? If we wish to understand loss experience, we must learn details of survivors' stories. In How We Grieve, Thomas Attig tells real-life tales to illustrate the poignant disruption of life and suffering that loss entails. He shows how
through grieving we meet daunting challenges, make critical choices, and reshape our lives. These intimate treatments of coping hold valuable lessons that address the needs of grieving people and those who hope to support and comfort them. The accounts promote understanding of grief itself,
encourage respect for individuality and the uniqueness of loss experiences, show how to deal with helplessness in the face of "choiceless" events, and offers much priceless guidance for caregivers. Grieving is not a process of passively living through stages. Nor is it a clinical problem to be
solved or managed by others. How We Grieve shows that grieving is an active, coping process of relearning how to be and act in a world where loss transforms the fabric of our lives. Loss challenges us to relearn things and places; relationships with others, including fellow survivors, the deceased,
and even God; and most of all ourselves, including our daily life patterns and the meanings of our own life stories.

Genres: Grief, Philosophy, Nonfiction

224 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 1996

Reviews

[Marsha · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book outlines Attig's theory that one must actively grieve losses in an individual way in order to incorporate the loss into one's personal experience and re-engage in life.

I would recommend this book to therapists, clergy, and others in the helping professions, but I thought that the writing style was a little wooden and people currently experiencing grief might have a hard time getting through it. I agree with a lot of what Attig has to say, but I wish the style was a more accessible to people not at a high point in mental energy.

[Christian · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have finally finished reading this book. Before reading this, I knew that everyone grieves differently but this book has case by case about how each person is grieving in their own way. What they have to go through to get on with their lives. Also, how it has impacted them and their loved ones. We cannot get back to what we were before the loss.

[Clivemichael · Rating 4 out of 5]

Moving descriptions, intense and heavy. A solid reflection on the process.

[Sonja · Rating 2 out of 5]

At the beginning it sounded as if we'd get literal advice of what to say to bereaved persons. What I took away from the book is only that we have to relearn the world after a death.