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Living in a Gray World: A Christian Teen’s Guide to Understanding Homosexuality
In today’s world, the topic of homosexuality seems to be part of daily conversation in the media, in politics, and even inside churches, with pressure to accept one view or the other. And if you’re a Christian teen, you may feel overwhelmed by the opinions. New York Times bestselling author Dr. Preston Sprinkle has encountered these same questions, and as a theologian and a college professor he has dealt with these issues firsthand. Through honest conversation, real-life examples, and biblical research, Dr. Sprinkle unpacks what we can know to be true, and how Scripture’s overall message to us today allows us to move forward and find answers that align with God’s intent. Living in a Gray World explores with Dr. Sprinkle shares biblical truth and compassion about this important topic. This book isn't just for straight students, it's for all students looking for information and guidance. Living in a Gray World is also an educational book that parents can read and discuss with their children.
155 pages, Paperback
First published December 8, 2015
101 people are currently reading
511 people want to read
About the author
Preston Sprinkle
21 books182 followersPreston Sprinkle (PhD, Aberdeen) is a teacher, speaker, and New York Times bestselling author. He has written several books including People to Be Loved, Living in a Gray World, Charis, and Erasing Hell, which he co-authored with Francis Chan. Preston has held faculty positions at Nottingham University, Cedarville University, and Eternity Bible College. He and his family live in Boise, Idaho, and he currently helps pastors and leaders engage the LGBTQ conversation with thoughtfulness and grace.
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April 19, 2016
So, did I get both Sprinkle books at the same time? Yes.
Was that a mistake? Maybe.
I’ve already reviewed Sprinkle’s other book (People to Be Loved: Why Homosexuality Is Not Just an Issue) and this is mainly a repeat of the same info, but dumbed down for high school kids. Why does it need to be dumbed down? I don’t really know. Maybe because everyone needs to hear that gay people shouldn’t be treated with anything but the love and kindness you give to everyone else – and parents and teens may be more likely to read this much easier book. At least I hope so.
He starts out with his message to parents in the beginning saying:
Maybe I’m wrong, but I feel like the whole point of this line is to say, “First, let me tell you that I’m a straight, married, male Christian.” Maybe not, but it just feels like that since he basically opens the book with it.
What the Bible Says
There’s really nothing new in the sections about what the Bible says, from Sprinkle’s other book.
But in an attempt to write at a simpler level he says some things that I think have logical issues:
Well, that’s not true. Sometimes it’s between a man and several women. Or concubines. Or…well you get the picture.
Also, if that’s the logic we’re using, then every time leadership is talked about, it’s men doing the leading. Does this mean we must prevent women leaders in the church? (Well, I guess evangelicals *are* doing a pretty good job of that.)
He also says,
Well, If the world was round you’d expect God to say something about it. And maybe Galileo wouldn’t have been persecuted.
If slavery was wrong you’d expect God to say something about it. And maybe all the Christians might not have used the Bible to support slavery in the 19th Century.
He also addresses the same issues in nature vs nurture. Again, I think his arguments are ignorant at best disengenuous at worst.
The T and the I (Transgender and Intersex)
He’s very fuzzy on transgender. He states that, “…men and women shouldn’t cross gender boundaries.” But then he says this is a cultural thing and that women can have short hair and men can wear skirts. But who gets to decide what’s cultural and what God wants? Preston Sprinkle?
Later in the book, he states:
This is so unbelievably vague and offensive, I don’t even know how to comment on it.
He also spends more time on intersex people in this book. He really talks around himself here.
He says, “First, the fact that some people are born with ambiguous genitalia should not be surprising.”
I’m sure intersex people won’t mind being told they have a defect – much like having their brain attached to the outside of their head.
This is on the tail end of the transgender discussion.
So first, Sprinkle says that God requires us to live a certain way based on our sex.
Second, some people are born without a definite sex.
Third, Sprinkle tells us that they are not a third sex. They are either male or female.
Mr. Sprinkle, you leave us hanging with who gets to decide what which sex they are. I mean – especially since it can affect our salvation. So what happens if a doctor, as you say could happen, cuts off the wrong part? Is that person now consigned to hell? Is there God’s grace for that? If not, do they have a choice in heaven or hell? If so, why is there not grace for transgender people?
The more he attempts to be compassionate, the more he attempts to state God’s Law beyond a reasonable doubt, and this is where he gets himself in trouble.
“Acceptance Precedes Obedience”
These are Sprinkle’s own words in placing the importance on accepting everyone including people who are gay. Jesus accepted the tax collectors – and he uses this analogy in the grown-up version of his book, too.
Again, I appreciate Sprinkle preaching compassion and love before all else. But his hermeneutic and his arguments trump this and still fall into the danger of preaching against the values of Jesus.
And this comparison (to tax collectors) isn’t kind. It’s condescending.
It’s like saying, “I love you even though you’re a sinner just like the evil tax collector from the Roman occupation that all the Jews hated.”
But then he says that he’s not really making that comparison. But by then it’s too late and his message is going to fall on deaf ears.
If You Think You Are Gay
Sprinkle has a whole chapter titled “I Think I Might Be Gay”.
I think he’s struggling as hard as he can to be open and loving and compassionate in the light of his belief that gay behavior is wrong. But it really feels like a “love the sinner hate the sin” diatribe. Maybe that’s not fair.
But while part of this is an attempt at inclusion, it’s also an attempt to convince teens to not make being gay part of their identity.
He differentiates between the terms “gay” and “Gay”. (Yes – based on whether or not it’s capitalized.)
He wants kids to not label themselves as gay.
But even if you buy into his evangelical beliefs that you can’t be practicing gay and Christian, until everyone is accepted by society, and by Christians, they use this label to give themselves identity. Don’t take that away from them. They can’t use being a follower of Christ as their identify if all the followers of Christ reject them. I realize this book is an attempt to staunch that behavior, but until (if) it stops, we all need to have some sort of group to identify with.
He encourages teens who are gay to find someone to talk to.
But I really feel like Sprinkle is wanting to say, “It gets better.” Unfortunately, right now, it doesn’t unless you’re outside mainstream evangelical churches. And that doesn’t mean it’s good or easy if you’re not in them. Just that it won’t get better until you leave them.
Gay Friends
There’s so much good in the chapter titled “My Best Friend is Gay…Now What?” There’s so much focus on listening. And not stereotyping. All good stuff.
Sprinkle even refers to a transgender youth by the pronoun she wants to be referred to by – not the one that refers to the biological sex she was born with. That seems like progress in the face of his earlier comments.
But there’s some bad stuff in here, too.
He suggests avoiding direct questions like, “Are you gay?”
Which, on the surface seems good. But one of the reasons to avoid questions like that is:
Really? This statement is offensive.
And then he uses an over-simplistic condescending analogy about sin being like a fish on a hook. God gave us rules (like, “no gay sex”) to make our lives better. Though they may be tempting, like “those extra-plumpy worms” (exact quote). But they will eventually lead to our destruction.
Good grief.
Homosexuality, Politics, and Persecution
And when Sprinkle talks about politics, it doesn’t get any better.
He starts to say that there’s no real “gay agenda”. (Thank you!)
But then he notes:
This is the “aggressive” gay agenda: Equal Rights! Heaven forbid!
Then he thinks that he’s being magnanimous when he says, not every gay person has “an agenda to demoralize society.”
Wanting the same rights as everyone else is an “agenda to demoralize society”???
This is getting insane.
Especially because in the same chapter he talks about Christians being persecuted. Nevermind that he is admitting throughout this book that the LGBT community has been treated like crap by the Christian community.
He says that if you love gay people:
Because we all know Christians are regularly persecuted for openly professing their religion. That’s why there are so many Lifeway (conservative) Christian bookstores.
And, he notes, “Persecution is coming…”
C’mon, Preston!!
In the same chapter you talk about gays not having the same rights as everyone else, you are going to talk about Christian persecution? A group that is in no danger of losing their rights?
And after you spent this whole book talking about how horribly Christians have treated gays, you’re going to call persecution being made fun of a little bit?
I realize this is to a Christian audience but have some reality here please.
He ends the book with some questions that teens may have. But I don’t think any of them are worth mentioning on top of what’s already been said.
I will note, that like in his last book, he’s very wishy-washy on reparative therapy. Even though it doesn’t work, he won’t admit that because he’s “heard some stories” about how people have changed their orientation. That’s crap. It’s bad journalism and it’s dishonest. He’s just pandering at this point.
As much as he talks about loving and being compassionate, I still can’t recommend this book because of all the bad in it.
Thanks to NetGalley and Zondervan for a copy in return for an honest review.
Was that a mistake? Maybe.
I’ve already reviewed Sprinkle’s other book (People to Be Loved: Why Homosexuality Is Not Just an Issue) and this is mainly a repeat of the same info, but dumbed down for high school kids. Why does it need to be dumbed down? I don’t really know. Maybe because everyone needs to hear that gay people shouldn’t be treated with anything but the love and kindness you give to everyone else – and parents and teens may be more likely to read this much easier book. At least I hope so.
He starts out with his message to parents in the beginning saying:
“I’m a husband to my beautiful and energetic wife, Christine.”
Maybe I’m wrong, but I feel like the whole point of this line is to say, “First, let me tell you that I’m a straight, married, male Christian.” Maybe not, but it just feels like that since he basically opens the book with it.
What the Bible Says
There’s really nothing new in the sections about what the Bible says, from Sprinkle’s other book.
But in an attempt to write at a simpler level he says some things that I think have logical issues:
“Every time marriage is talked about positively, it’s always between a man and a woman.”
Well, that’s not true. Sometimes it’s between a man and several women. Or concubines. Or…well you get the picture.
Also, if that’s the logic we’re using, then every time leadership is talked about, it’s men doing the leading. Does this mean we must prevent women leaders in the church? (Well, I guess evangelicals *are* doing a pretty good job of that.)
He also says,
“If God affirms same-sex couples, you would expect that the Bible would say something positive about same-sex relationships.”
Well, If the world was round you’d expect God to say something about it. And maybe Galileo wouldn’t have been persecuted.
If slavery was wrong you’d expect God to say something about it. And maybe all the Christians might not have used the Bible to support slavery in the 19th Century.
He also addresses the same issues in nature vs nurture. Again, I think his arguments are ignorant at best disengenuous at worst.
The T and the I (Transgender and Intersex)
He’s very fuzzy on transgender. He states that, “…men and women shouldn’t cross gender boundaries.” But then he says this is a cultural thing and that women can have short hair and men can wear skirts. But who gets to decide what’s cultural and what God wants? Preston Sprinkle?
Later in the book, he states:
“As i said earlier, i believe God wants girls to act like girls, and boys to act like boys.”
This is so unbelievably vague and offensive, I don’t even know how to comment on it.
He also spends more time on intersex people in this book. He really talks around himself here.
He says, “First, the fact that some people are born with ambiguous genitalia should not be surprising.”
“…it means is that sin has affected the very fabric of our being, and sometimes it distorts our biology—even from birth. siamese twins, missing eyes, or even brains attached to the outside of a person’s head. These birth defects are products of a fallen world."
I’m sure intersex people won’t mind being told they have a defect – much like having their brain attached to the outside of their head.
“Again, we must have compassion and empathy for anyone born with ambiguous genitalia, especially if the doctor happened to cut off the wrong parts.”
This is on the tail end of the transgender discussion.
So first, Sprinkle says that God requires us to live a certain way based on our sex.
Second, some people are born without a definite sex.
Third, Sprinkle tells us that they are not a third sex. They are either male or female.
Mr. Sprinkle, you leave us hanging with who gets to decide what which sex they are. I mean – especially since it can affect our salvation. So what happens if a doctor, as you say could happen, cuts off the wrong part? Is that person now consigned to hell? Is there God’s grace for that? If not, do they have a choice in heaven or hell? If so, why is there not grace for transgender people?
The more he attempts to be compassionate, the more he attempts to state God’s Law beyond a reasonable doubt, and this is where he gets himself in trouble.
“Acceptance Precedes Obedience”
These are Sprinkle’s own words in placing the importance on accepting everyone including people who are gay. Jesus accepted the tax collectors – and he uses this analogy in the grown-up version of his book, too.
Again, I appreciate Sprinkle preaching compassion and love before all else. But his hermeneutic and his arguments trump this and still fall into the danger of preaching against the values of Jesus.
And this comparison (to tax collectors) isn’t kind. It’s condescending.
It’s like saying, “I love you even though you’re a sinner just like the evil tax collector from the Roman occupation that all the Jews hated.”
But then he says that he’s not really making that comparison. But by then it’s too late and his message is going to fall on deaf ears.
If You Think You Are Gay
Sprinkle has a whole chapter titled “I Think I Might Be Gay”.
I think he’s struggling as hard as he can to be open and loving and compassionate in the light of his belief that gay behavior is wrong. But it really feels like a “love the sinner hate the sin” diatribe. Maybe that’s not fair.
But while part of this is an attempt at inclusion, it’s also an attempt to convince teens to not make being gay part of their identity.
He differentiates between the terms “gay” and “Gay”. (Yes – based on whether or not it’s capitalized.)
“• gay (lowercase) is a description of one’s same-sex orientation. such a person may or may not engage in sexual behavior, but they use the term gay as an easy way to describe their experience of same-sex attraction.
• Gay (uppercase) refers to one’s identity based on their attraction to the same sex.”
He wants kids to not label themselves as gay.
“I don’t feel it’s good for Christians to label themselves as “Gay” (uppercase) as their primary identity. our identity is in Christ—everything else is secondary. we are first and foremost followers of the risen Jesus.”
But even if you buy into his evangelical beliefs that you can’t be practicing gay and Christian, until everyone is accepted by society, and by Christians, they use this label to give themselves identity. Don’t take that away from them. They can’t use being a follower of Christ as their identify if all the followers of Christ reject them. I realize this book is an attempt to staunch that behavior, but until (if) it stops, we all need to have some sort of group to identify with.
He encourages teens who are gay to find someone to talk to.
“Some of you have already found someone to talk to. If that someone is authentic, loving, wise, and understanding, then consider yourself blessed. In fact, make sure you thank this person for being a listening ear and loving friend. Such people are rare.”
But I really feel like Sprinkle is wanting to say, “It gets better.” Unfortunately, right now, it doesn’t unless you’re outside mainstream evangelical churches. And that doesn’t mean it’s good or easy if you’re not in them. Just that it won’t get better until you leave them.
Gay Friends
There’s so much good in the chapter titled “My Best Friend is Gay…Now What?” There’s so much focus on listening. And not stereotyping. All good stuff.
Sprinkle even refers to a transgender youth by the pronoun she wants to be referred to by – not the one that refers to the biological sex she was born with. That seems like progress in the face of his earlier comments.
But there’s some bad stuff in here, too.
He suggests avoiding direct questions like, “Are you gay?”
Which, on the surface seems good. But one of the reasons to avoid questions like that is:
“This could not only be offensive, it could also crush someone who really isn’t gay.”
Really? This statement is offensive.
And then he uses an over-simplistic condescending analogy about sin being like a fish on a hook. God gave us rules (like, “no gay sex”) to make our lives better. Though they may be tempting, like “those extra-plumpy worms” (exact quote). But they will eventually lead to our destruction.
“But sex is powerful, and Satan is powerful too. Together, they are seeking to destroy people with same-sex attraction by convincing them that same-sex behavior is the only way they will flourish as humans.”
Good grief.
Homosexuality, Politics, and Persecution
And when Sprinkle talks about politics, it doesn’t get any better.
He starts to say that there’s no real “gay agenda”. (Thank you!)
But then he notes:
“It’s true that some LGBT people have an aggressive agenda to gain equal rights through marriage laws and workplace diversity codes.”
This is the “aggressive” gay agenda: Equal Rights! Heaven forbid!
Then he thinks that he’s being magnanimous when he says, not every gay person has “an agenda to demoralize society.”
Wanting the same rights as everyone else is an “agenda to demoralize society”???
This is getting insane.
Especially because in the same chapter he talks about Christians being persecuted. Nevermind that he is admitting throughout this book that the LGBT community has been treated like crap by the Christian community.
He says that if you love gay people:
“You’re going to be mocked, shunned, laughed at, and possibly persecuted. Some of you already have been.”
Because we all know Christians are regularly persecuted for openly professing their religion. That’s why there are so many Lifeway (conservative) Christian bookstores.
And, he notes, “Persecution is coming…”
C’mon, Preston!!
In the same chapter you talk about gays not having the same rights as everyone else, you are going to talk about Christian persecution? A group that is in no danger of losing their rights?
And after you spent this whole book talking about how horribly Christians have treated gays, you’re going to call persecution being made fun of a little bit?
I realize this is to a Christian audience but have some reality here please.
He ends the book with some questions that teens may have. But I don’t think any of them are worth mentioning on top of what’s already been said.
I will note, that like in his last book, he’s very wishy-washy on reparative therapy. Even though it doesn’t work, he won’t admit that because he’s “heard some stories” about how people have changed their orientation. That’s crap. It’s bad journalism and it’s dishonest. He’s just pandering at this point.
As much as he talks about loving and being compassionate, I still can’t recommend this book because of all the bad in it.
Thanks to NetGalley and Zondervan for a copy in return for an honest review.
January 26, 2016
I'm not a Christian but I like reading what Christians and others have to say about the subject of homosexuality, so I was interested to read this book. I have mixed feelings about it.
On the plus side, for an anti-gay book, "Living in a Gray World" is surprisingly free from hate. Sprinkle doesn't demonize homosexuals and he admits that homosexuals are often treated hatefully by Christians. He encourages Christians to treat gays with respect, kindness and love. And if the book can encourage some Christians to do that, that's a good thing.
On the other hand, much of the book consists of the same old tired anti-gay propaganda that Christians always use and that obeying God is more important than living a fulfilling life; the author takes pleasure in seeing same sex relationships break up, "But Amy's story has a happy ending. She ended up breaking up with her girlfriend." How loving! I'm not sure Amy's girlfriend was as thrilled as Sprinkle. I guess the moral of the story could be that gays should try to stay as far away as possible from Christians who want to break up their relationships.
Disclaimer: I was given a free ebook via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
On the plus side, for an anti-gay book, "Living in a Gray World" is surprisingly free from hate. Sprinkle doesn't demonize homosexuals and he admits that homosexuals are often treated hatefully by Christians. He encourages Christians to treat gays with respect, kindness and love. And if the book can encourage some Christians to do that, that's a good thing.
On the other hand, much of the book consists of the same old tired anti-gay propaganda that Christians always use and that obeying God is more important than living a fulfilling life; the author takes pleasure in seeing same sex relationships break up, "But Amy's story has a happy ending. She ended up breaking up with her girlfriend." How loving! I'm not sure Amy's girlfriend was as thrilled as Sprinkle. I guess the moral of the story could be that gays should try to stay as far away as possible from Christians who want to break up their relationships.
Disclaimer: I was given a free ebook via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
January 29, 2019
As someone who works with youth, I looked into this book as a reference. What I found was a helpful resource written in a concise and understanding manner that I would feel confident suggesting to my students to read.
The author initiates a genuine conversation between himself and the reader. I appreciated his easily understood explanations and biblical backing. He approaches the topic of this book with love, not condemnation, and provides excellent, eyewitness accounts to help support his points.
I would hope that all could respond with the type of love he suggests here - and would read with an open mind and heart.
The author initiates a genuine conversation between himself and the reader. I appreciated his easily understood explanations and biblical backing. He approaches the topic of this book with love, not condemnation, and provides excellent, eyewitness accounts to help support his points.
I would hope that all could respond with the type of love he suggests here - and would read with an open mind and heart.
August 26, 2022
Everything can be summarized into this: Love all people. Their humanity is not taken away by their sexual orientation, and a particular sin is not greater than the other- it’s sin committed by fallen people, you and I, in search of the grace and love of God.
Don’t just preach love, be love.
Like Jesus, sit at the table with tax collectors, prostitutes, Pharisees, adulterers…
Jesus loved them and wasn’t scared of how being their friend would “taint” his reputation in the eyes of believers- He decided that loving them and teaching them was a greater call, one worth dying for.
Let’s be like Jesus.
Don’t just preach love, be love.
Like Jesus, sit at the table with tax collectors, prostitutes, Pharisees, adulterers…
Jesus loved them and wasn’t scared of how being their friend would “taint” his reputation in the eyes of believers- He decided that loving them and teaching them was a greater call, one worth dying for.
Let’s be like Jesus.
November 4, 2019
The story of my experience placing this book on hold at my library illustrates the exact reason why I believe this book is so vitally needed in our society. I asked the librarian to put a book on hold for me. She read the title. Wouldn’t make eye contact with me. Typed away for a while. Then—still without making eye contact—told me that she would be able to place the book on hold...then asked, “Do you know what this book is about?” Um, yes. As a grown adult who can read, I do know what the book is about because I READ the SUBTITLE and description before I put it on hold.
Then she proceeded to put the book on hold under my 12 year old son’s account, even though I was asking for the hold.
A ton of thoughts hit me. First of all, I wanted to call this woman out on questioning me while also wanting to laugh at how ridiculous her response was. But I also cringed a little bit wanting to clarify that the book was not for my son...it was for me. My son was not struggling with this...I, as a parent, as an adult, and as a Christian wanted to be more informed, more loving, more gracious, more Christlike.
The thing is, it wasn’t even the fact that the book was about homosexuality. I would have felt the same way if I had been checking out a book on teens having sex and the librarian questioned me on it and put it under my 12 year old son’s name. The fact is, we SHOULD be reading books like this. It shouldn’t be weird. It shouldn’t be looked down upon. It shouldn’t be shamed. As Christians, we SHOULD be having these conversations with our teen children and our preteen children. Goodness gracious.
Anyway, none of that is about this book specifically, but it certainly affirmed why I was reading the book and why the book is so desperately needed.
I can’t say that I agree with 100% of what is said in these pages. But I also don’t know what book I could say that about. Ever. (Other than the Bible itself.)
So I can say that the first 5 chapters were invaluable. The last 4 chapter and the appendix were eye-opening and interesting and gave me things to think through and question in my own way.
The basis of this book is perfectly explained in this excerpt:
”Don’t worry about being too liberal or too conservative
. Just concern yourself with being too much like Jesus. Lovingly truthful, and truthfully loving.”
Isn’t that how we should all strive to be in everything?
The author breaks down what the Bible actually says about homosexuality, in both the Old and New Testament, what Jesus said/taught and what Paul said/taught on the subject. He breaks apart myths and assumptions on both sides of the topic. And he does a very good job.
He shows how the church as a whole has messed up in this area, and how (rarely...sadly) the church has done it well. I love that the author doesn’t tell the reader HOW to think, but challenges the reader with the facts and studies and scriptures and arguments at hand, and then asks the reader what they think.
Again, this is such an important moment in the church to show the love of Jesus to those who often feel they have been discarded by the church or disapproved of. Because the answer is that Jesus came for EVERYONE, that He died for ALL sinners, that He loved and loves ALL people no matter what they do but because of Who He is.
I highly recommend and encourage all parents and all Christians to read this. (Even though it is written for the 15-22 yo demographic so they should read it too!) We put look at people as people and not as an “issue” or an “agenda”. This mindset has to change.
Then she proceeded to put the book on hold under my 12 year old son’s account, even though I was asking for the hold.
A ton of thoughts hit me. First of all, I wanted to call this woman out on questioning me while also wanting to laugh at how ridiculous her response was. But I also cringed a little bit wanting to clarify that the book was not for my son...it was for me. My son was not struggling with this...I, as a parent, as an adult, and as a Christian wanted to be more informed, more loving, more gracious, more Christlike.
The thing is, it wasn’t even the fact that the book was about homosexuality. I would have felt the same way if I had been checking out a book on teens having sex and the librarian questioned me on it and put it under my 12 year old son’s name. The fact is, we SHOULD be reading books like this. It shouldn’t be weird. It shouldn’t be looked down upon. It shouldn’t be shamed. As Christians, we SHOULD be having these conversations with our teen children and our preteen children. Goodness gracious.
Anyway, none of that is about this book specifically, but it certainly affirmed why I was reading the book and why the book is so desperately needed.
I can’t say that I agree with 100% of what is said in these pages. But I also don’t know what book I could say that about. Ever. (Other than the Bible itself.)
So I can say that the first 5 chapters were invaluable. The last 4 chapter and the appendix were eye-opening and interesting and gave me things to think through and question in my own way.
The basis of this book is perfectly explained in this excerpt:
”Don’t worry about being too liberal or too conservative
. Just concern yourself with being too much like Jesus. Lovingly truthful, and truthfully loving.”
Isn’t that how we should all strive to be in everything?
The author breaks down what the Bible actually says about homosexuality, in both the Old and New Testament, what Jesus said/taught and what Paul said/taught on the subject. He breaks apart myths and assumptions on both sides of the topic. And he does a very good job.
He shows how the church as a whole has messed up in this area, and how (rarely...sadly) the church has done it well. I love that the author doesn’t tell the reader HOW to think, but challenges the reader with the facts and studies and scriptures and arguments at hand, and then asks the reader what they think.
Again, this is such an important moment in the church to show the love of Jesus to those who often feel they have been discarded by the church or disapproved of. Because the answer is that Jesus came for EVERYONE, that He died for ALL sinners, that He loved and loves ALL people no matter what they do but because of Who He is.
I highly recommend and encourage all parents and all Christians to read this. (Even though it is written for the 15-22 yo demographic so they should read it too!) We put look at people as people and not as an “issue” or an “agenda”. This mindset has to change.
December 4, 2015
A professor with multiple books about interpreting the Bible, including People to be Loved: Why Homosexuality is Not Just an Issue, Sprinkle attempts to explain what the Bible says about homosexuality to teens: teens who are questioning, inquisitive straight teens, and with declarations to parents of the Christian faith. Chapters include “What Does the Bible Say about Marriage?” “Gender, Transgender, and Intersex”, and “Homosexuality All Around Me” where he tries to talk straight, providing an inquiry approach to answer questions he frequently receives.
There is no doubt that more nonfiction should saturate the market targeted to teens about LGBTQ topics to join the ranks of Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out or Honor Girl: A Graphic Memoir, and Sprinkle provides a niche perspective. He spends much of the time presenting all possible arguments in short paragraphs so as not to leave anything out and in that process comes across as aimless. He challenges readers to think over the information he provides, and ultimately always airs on the side of love and compassion. So, whatever a teen should decide, it should be consistent and fair, not based on hatred or misinformation. While the writing is not strong, especially with his tired examples and flat attempts at a humorous tone, the thought is what counts. Sprinkle provides a necessary voice that is appreciated.
There is no doubt that more nonfiction should saturate the market targeted to teens about LGBTQ topics to join the ranks of Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out or Honor Girl: A Graphic Memoir, and Sprinkle provides a niche perspective. He spends much of the time presenting all possible arguments in short paragraphs so as not to leave anything out and in that process comes across as aimless. He challenges readers to think over the information he provides, and ultimately always airs on the side of love and compassion. So, whatever a teen should decide, it should be consistent and fair, not based on hatred or misinformation. While the writing is not strong, especially with his tired examples and flat attempts at a humorous tone, the thought is what counts. Sprinkle provides a necessary voice that is appreciated.
August 21, 2017
A Must Read! Such an important and relevant book.
Unless you live under a rock you have wrestled with the questions in this book and struggled to find answers. Preston Sprinkle does a great job of helping teens and adults understand the issues and form a compassionate yet biblical view. Highly recommended!
Unless you live under a rock you have wrestled with the questions in this book and struggled to find answers. Preston Sprinkle does a great job of helping teens and adults understand the issues and form a compassionate yet biblical view. Highly recommended!
December 19, 2018
One of my only problems with this book is that there were parts where it felt like the author was dumbing it down for teens. An overuse of dude, totally, and other phrases only seem to stunt the conversation that this book is trying to start. A little bit insulting, I won't lie.
Other than that, I feel like this was carried out rather well, it helps more conservative people see things from the LGBTTQIAP+ Christians and non-christian's perspective while also considering the reader's possible values and upbringing.
Overall, a respectful book that I think most Christian teens should pick up.
Other than that, I feel like this was carried out rather well, it helps more conservative people see things from the LGBTTQIAP+ Christians and non-christian's perspective while also considering the reader's possible values and upbringing.
Overall, a respectful book that I think most Christian teens should pick up.
March 24, 2023
This book is not written as a book. It is written as a conversation. Preston Sprinkle does a great job of laying out the book as a conversation with the reader. There are a lot of misconceptions and misunderstandings about the LGBTQ+ topic within the church. I think this book displays a beautiful balance of showing love, but also conveying truth. I would highly recommend this book.
Read
August 15, 2022A helpful quick read. Plenty of Great stuff. I loved its steady, gentle, non-panicked tone. Great little section on responding to friends who say they are gay. In the chapter “Truth and Love” I reckon PS draws too sharp a distinction between desire and behaviour, meaning that it presents the former as morally neutral, and the latter as morally significant. But in scripture Desire is not the same thing as what we might mean by “attraction” or even “arousal”. PS treatment of James 1:14-15 muddies the distinction between being attracted to someone of the same sex, and actually desiring them in a sexual manner. It is tricky, but the book would benefit from a little more care at this point.
I’m also a little more cautious on the advice about attending same-sex marriage; without pretending it is an easy question to answer, most weddings still function with some aspect of public affirmation of the nature of the relationship. I love that the book does not lay heavy burdens on kids who may be grappling with how to live/honour members of their own family. But I tend to think that affirmation is still one of the key public meanings of marriage. Tricky to deal with simply. But a helpful book 📕
I’m also a little more cautious on the advice about attending same-sex marriage; without pretending it is an easy question to answer, most weddings still function with some aspect of public affirmation of the nature of the relationship. I love that the book does not lay heavy burdens on kids who may be grappling with how to live/honour members of their own family. But I tend to think that affirmation is still one of the key public meanings of marriage. Tricky to deal with simply. But a helpful book 📕
November 13, 2015
I did not read this book cover to cover. It was available on Netgalley and I was curious. I am not a Christian, so this is clearly not targeted to me, but I didn't find it wholly offensive. It was a kind and practical book. It did not condone being cruel to homosexuals or transgendered individuals which is fantastic. It talked about how acting on homosexual attraction is a sin but that the attraction itself isn't. While I don't believe this to be true, it does fit with Christian beliefs and again does not say that these people are terrible. I really appreciated that this book teaches Christians to not harass people who are of a different sexuality than is thought of as Christianly. This book treated all biblical sins as the same and that sinners must repent and seek guidance. I appreciate that this book does not encourage any bullying even if it does not align with my views, it's still valuable.
June 25, 2021
"[d]on't worry about being too liberal or too conservative. Just concern yourself with being too much like Jesus. Lovingly truthful, and truthfully loving."
June 12, 2016
ARC kindly provided by Zonderkidz-Books via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Review
Rating Plan
1 star : Strongly did not like the book, writing and plot was bad. Idea of the book was against my liking.
2 star : Didn't like it, didn't find it interesting or gripping. Seemed to drag on to me.
3 star : An average book. Wasn't bad or good. Everything else was well done. Original idea.
4 star : Like a 3 star but has potential to it as a series or the book grew on me as it progressed and certain scenes captured me. I Enjoyed it and read it in one sitting.
5 star : I LOVED IT! I stayed up late until 3 am. Author is a genius, characters, plot, idea, development, EVERYTHING was EXCELLENT. Nothing else can possibly be said except that its 5 STAR!
Review
I, as a Christian, have always wondered about homosexuality as it is on the top of everyone’s tongues. I hoped that picking up 'Living in a Gray World' may give me something new: a new understanding. I didn't understand it; I didn't know how to broach the topic with other people, yet alone homosexual people or Christian homosexuals. It was a puzzling topic that I definitely needed to do some reading up on: and this ARC gave me a great chance to do so. I wanted to know what the bible said. And this short read gave me exactly that.
What I noticed straight away was how qualified this author was to write this book. Yet another thing? The great, easy, straight-forward, honest and personal way the author wrote it. It sounded kind yet matter-of-fact on the page and I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW THAT IS POSSIBLE. The writing style was great for this type of subject, which is highly debated by many. The author wasn't afraid to state his belief – which was that the Bible did not support same-sex relationships and endorses opposite-sex relationships. It gave me what I wanted to know straight away.
I know that LGBTQIAP is a very, very, very highly debated topic but in my opinion, this book gave the best, most basic side to it. I support this author in the belief that same-sex attraction is okay, and that we should accept people for who they are, not just for what their attraction is compared to other people.
It felt dangerous and hard reviewing this book. The most popular Goodreads review of this book completely dismissed and rejects the entire thing. I felt like most of the people believed it as bad. But here is my opinion: I felt it was great. I understand that this is my first read on this subject and that my reading experience is not yet good enough to judge.
There was only one typo that I could find in my ARC. No spelling mistakes whatsoever.
Congratulations to Preston Sprinkle on publishing a good, solid introductory read on LGBTQIAP.
Rating Plan
1 star : Strongly did not like the book, writing and plot was bad. Idea of the book was against my liking.
2 star : Didn't like it, didn't find it interesting or gripping. Seemed to drag on to me.
3 star : An average book. Wasn't bad or good. Everything else was well done. Original idea.
4 star : Like a 3 star but has potential to it as a series or the book grew on me as it progressed and certain scenes captured me. I Enjoyed it and read it in one sitting.
5 star : I LOVED IT! I stayed up late until 3 am. Author is a genius, characters, plot, idea, development, EVERYTHING was EXCELLENT. Nothing else can possibly be said except that its 5 STAR!
May 24, 2022
With Pride coming up and being a Christian, I thought I’d get a take on someone’s reasoning for not supporting same sex marriage that shares the same faith as I do. I have always believed that there isn’t an issue with same sex marriage. There’s an issue with judgemental Christians.
I like how he always circles back to love but I’d argue that he didn’t really back it up with scripture or why the scripture was pertinent to why gay marriage is a sin.
This book didn’t sway my belief that love is love.
I like how he always circles back to love but I’d argue that he didn’t really back it up with scripture or why the scripture was pertinent to why gay marriage is a sin.
This book didn’t sway my belief that love is love.
March 23, 2022
4.5 // A really fantastic resource for Christian teens seeking to interact faithfully with issues of sexuality that they or their friends may be experiencing. Preston Sprinkle writes candidly and compassionately, and I think he walks the “lovingly truthful and truthfully loving” line well here. The nature of today’s conversation about sexuality means that this book, written in 2015, already feels a bit dated in some ways, but the core concepts are still really valuable and I would comfortably recommend it.
May 15, 2023
An excellent resource for youth especially, because it isn't technical or lengthy. It's clear, casual, and relatively short. So much so, that one may easily read it in a number of days. Please don't. I wouldn't recommend this. This is something you will want to read slowly, and tearfully. So give yourself time on this one, take breaks as you read. If you're looking for something more in depth, this book may not be for you. But it's as easy to follow as it is kind. I think that's worth something.
June 27, 2018
This book says that it's for teens, but really it is a wonderfully short resource for any church or individual who finds themselves struggling to understand how to reconcile the Biblical worldview of same sex marriage with the current pressures of today. I have read many books and articles on this debate from both sides, but this one is perhaps the most grace-soaked book written by a conservative Christian that I have ever encountered. Sprinkle explains both the culture as well as the Greek for various tricky passages and also explains terminology which many Christians may get confused by. Although his stance is fairly clear (he states it upfront in the first few pages), he always points back to the fact that this is not some abstract ISSUE, it is about PEOPLE. People need grace, to be loved, to be accepted for who they are (and acceptance does not necessarily always equate affirmation) and to be welcomed into the life of the church. He admits that there has been a lot of hurt done in the name of Christianity and that churches and individuals need to seek a better way rather than just publicly humiliating someone. I really appreciate Sprinkle's straightforward approach as well as Biblical scholarship. I am grateful that I came across this book. It is a real gem.
July 26, 2021
A Great Guide for Understanding LGBT Questions
This book was written for teen readers 15 years ago and older, but I think many adults can benefit from reading this book. While I don’t agree with some of the author’s specific advice in the last chapter of this book, the author still does an excellent job of explaining different concepts and issues related to homosexuality and transgenderism, as well as laying out the Bible’s teaching on this subject.
I also greatly appreciate how the author emphasizes throughout this book that when we’re talking about the issue of homosexuality, we’re talking about people, many of whom have gone through horrific experiences because of how Christians (and sometimes others) have reacted to their disclosures about their same-sex attractions and/or behaviors.
I definitely recommend this book for parents and teenagers as we all continue to wrestle with this contentious issue.
This book was written for teen readers 15 years ago and older, but I think many adults can benefit from reading this book. While I don’t agree with some of the author’s specific advice in the last chapter of this book, the author still does an excellent job of explaining different concepts and issues related to homosexuality and transgenderism, as well as laying out the Bible’s teaching on this subject.
I also greatly appreciate how the author emphasizes throughout this book that when we’re talking about the issue of homosexuality, we’re talking about people, many of whom have gone through horrific experiences because of how Christians (and sometimes others) have reacted to their disclosures about their same-sex attractions and/or behaviors.
I definitely recommend this book for parents and teenagers as we all continue to wrestle with this contentious issue.
September 18, 2018
I agree with much of what Preston Sprinkle writes in this book. And I greatly appreciate his compassionate, loving tone throughout. However, I think in his desire to avoid bringing shame to those who struggle with same-sex attraction, he opens the door to equating sexual sin with actions only. And I think this book should’ve been much clearer on the gospel message and conversion, rather than assuming it, or even implying (at the end of the book) that the sole distinguishing mark of a Christian is that they love. While this isn’t a book about the gospel, it’s impossible to orient people to a difficult topic like homosexuality without being very clear on the good news, and the claims, of the gospel of Jesus.
December 17, 2015
After finishing Sprinkle's book "A People to Be Loved" I wanted to read his book on the same topic (homosexuality) directed at teens. It's more or less a simpler version of his other book, but still good, and still focuses on loving others just as much as it focuses on what God expects of us. He dealt more with the questions concerning what it means to be transgendered, transexual, or intersex which I appreciated, and was pretty fair and balanced in addressing a number of questions that many of our teens will face and ask themselves as they grow.
You can read my longer review on "People to be Loved" to get a basic gist of my feelings for this book as well.
You can read my longer review on "People to be Loved" to get a basic gist of my feelings for this book as well.
March 29, 2021
The author uses debunked theories about homosexuality, transgender, and intersexed people. The author refers to sexuality and attempts to speak from a very limited viewpoint. This book is not even biblically accurate and describes homosexuality as not only a sin, but a sin that can be altered with enough self-reflection.
I saw some reviews about recommending it for one's children or a group of students. Shame on them. This is not to be used as anything more than a nice book to keep a warm winter fire burning.
I saw some reviews about recommending it for one's children or a group of students. Shame on them. This is not to be used as anything more than a nice book to keep a warm winter fire burning.
December 21, 2015
I received this from netgalley.com and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
I didn't think this was terrible but I also didn't really enjoy it or get much out of it. I think he does a great job of getting his beliefs across but mine were just not in line with his. I think he really has a deep belief of Christianity and that he is really just out to give him point of view. It doesn't feel forced but it does read as a bit offensive so I would approach this with caution.
I didn't think this was terrible but I also didn't really enjoy it or get much out of it. I think he does a great job of getting his beliefs across but mine were just not in line with his. I think he really has a deep belief of Christianity and that he is really just out to give him point of view. It doesn't feel forced but it does read as a bit offensive so I would approach this with caution.
April 18, 2017
I am Christian trying walk my kids thru a world surrounded by homosexuality and hate. I don't want my kids to hate but I do want them to know God's view on this. I think this book did well with teaching love and truth. He did a great job backing his beliefs with scriptures and reminding Christians that none of us are perfect and all sin is sin no matter what we think of as worse then another it is all viewed the same by God.
August 14, 2017
Preston Sprinkle really seems to hit the nail on the head with this book. His main point, that his main book "A people to be loved" emphasizes even more, is that LGBT people are individuals with vastly different life experiences. Each with their own hopes, struggles, etc. He walks through the complexities well and stays true to the Word. Would recommend this book (or even better "A people to be loved" to everyone.
August 16, 2021
Compassionate, Great Resource
I’m a college pastor who has continually wanted a biblical, compassionate resource to give to students and youth who are either struggling with same sex attraction or trying to figure out what the Bible says about homosexuality.
I love that over and over Sprinkle reminds us that “homosexuality isn’t about an issue, it’s about people” who are loved by God and made in His image.
I will be recommending this book as a resource in the future.
I’m a college pastor who has continually wanted a biblical, compassionate resource to give to students and youth who are either struggling with same sex attraction or trying to figure out what the Bible says about homosexuality.
I love that over and over Sprinkle reminds us that “homosexuality isn’t about an issue, it’s about people” who are loved by God and made in His image.
I will be recommending this book as a resource in the future.
November 19, 2015
Review to come, thanks NetGalley!
March 28, 2022
This is one of the best books on this topic. Focus on the people, not the issue.
August 17, 2023
I felt like it was a pull a verse out of context book and didn't speak to context of times or conversation in the bible. I was very disappointed in it.
December 21, 2025
Jim’s (top rated 1-star) review reflect much of my own thoughts, but I’ll put some of my own here:
‘Living in a Gray World’ is one of those more sympathetic books that are still very much steeped with misgivings about gay and trans people. There’s been plenty of studies, surveys, and research done on being gay and being allowed to express that on one’s own terms, and the results have consistently shown that repressing it or trying to change it simply doesn’t work. (I’ll cite a few below, though feel free to search for yourself).
Theres a brief chapter on trans people that is just poorly worded throughout. The author says that the term ‘trans woman’ means someone going from female-to-male (FTM), but that’s not accurate at all. He also stumbles around saying ‘I know this must be super confusing!’ over and over when really it isn’t, and he’s actually explaining things in a roundabout way that makes a fairly simple term way more confusing than it has to be.
For as nice as this book tries to be, this is a straight/cis view on gay/trans people, and doesn’t follow along with the deeper understandings we have of sexuality and gender in our present time. I know this book is from over ten years ago, but still.
The evidence against “conversion therapy”, APA, 2025
Homosexuality and scientific evidence: On suspect anecdotes, antiquated data, and broad generalizations, Robert L Kinney III (NLM), 2015
Outness, Acceptance, and Victimization: A Longitudinal Study of Depressive Symptoms and Suicidality of Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual and Transgender and Gender Diverse Youth, André Gonzales Real (NLM), 2025
‘Living in a Gray World’ is one of those more sympathetic books that are still very much steeped with misgivings about gay and trans people. There’s been plenty of studies, surveys, and research done on being gay and being allowed to express that on one’s own terms, and the results have consistently shown that repressing it or trying to change it simply doesn’t work. (I’ll cite a few below, though feel free to search for yourself).
Theres a brief chapter on trans people that is just poorly worded throughout. The author says that the term ‘trans woman’ means someone going from female-to-male (FTM), but that’s not accurate at all. He also stumbles around saying ‘I know this must be super confusing!’ over and over when really it isn’t, and he’s actually explaining things in a roundabout way that makes a fairly simple term way more confusing than it has to be.
For as nice as this book tries to be, this is a straight/cis view on gay/trans people, and doesn’t follow along with the deeper understandings we have of sexuality and gender in our present time. I know this book is from over ten years ago, but still.
The evidence against “conversion therapy”, APA, 2025
Homosexuality and scientific evidence: On suspect anecdotes, antiquated data, and broad generalizations, Robert L Kinney III (NLM), 2015
Outness, Acceptance, and Victimization: A Longitudinal Study of Depressive Symptoms and Suicidality of Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual and Transgender and Gender Diverse Youth, André Gonzales Real (NLM), 2025
March 5, 2023
I picked up this book to read in hopes of having something to offer a loved one of mine who is 16 and wrestling with questions of faith and sexuality. Given a long history of books written in America targeting youth that have been damaging to say the least, I was excited to see this book written for teens.
I however didn’t realize that this book was written primarily with straight/cisgender teenagers in mind, as a form of discipleship on how to care for and think critically and spiritually about issues of gender and sexuality. I believe in that way, this book did exactly what it was set out to do. I do think a book written with more than one chapter of focus towards teens wrestling with their own sexual orientation would be a benefit to have. I also found this book to mainly be a repeat, yet less academic version of Dr. Preston Sprinkle’s earlier work “People To Be Loved”, which I believe was a far better and more well rounded address to issues of sexuality. If your youth are able to tackle more academic books, especially if they themselves are wrestling with faith and sexuality, I’d rather recommend that book over this one. That being said, I do believe this is a great option to start a conversation with young people. I do believe it should just be the start, and that other books, discussions and resources should follow afterwards. Especially if you discover the person is they themselves wrestling with their sexual orientation and identity.
I however didn’t realize that this book was written primarily with straight/cisgender teenagers in mind, as a form of discipleship on how to care for and think critically and spiritually about issues of gender and sexuality. I believe in that way, this book did exactly what it was set out to do. I do think a book written with more than one chapter of focus towards teens wrestling with their own sexual orientation would be a benefit to have. I also found this book to mainly be a repeat, yet less academic version of Dr. Preston Sprinkle’s earlier work “People To Be Loved”, which I believe was a far better and more well rounded address to issues of sexuality. If your youth are able to tackle more academic books, especially if they themselves are wrestling with faith and sexuality, I’d rather recommend that book over this one. That being said, I do believe this is a great option to start a conversation with young people. I do believe it should just be the start, and that other books, discussions and resources should follow afterwards. Especially if you discover the person is they themselves wrestling with their sexual orientation and identity.
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