Raising Uncommon Kids

by Sami Cone

The single greatest lesson parents teach their kids isn't anything they say--it's what they do. And while most parents would say they want to raise compassionate kids, they might be surprised to discover just how little they're actually modeling the behaviors they hope to pass on--qualities such as unconditional love, gentleness, forgiveness, patience, gratitude, humility, and more.

In this unique book, Sami Cone shows parents a new way to look at molding their children, one in which focusing on adding good behaviors and attitudes is more powerful than eliminating bad ones. Grounding her advice in Scripture--specifically the twelve characteristics found in Colossians 3:12-17--Cone offers plenty of stories from her own life to show these principles in action. And she offers practical things parents can do right now to create a home and family that exhibits love, harmony, and generosity of spirit in a self-centered world.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

208 pages, Paperback

First published January 19, 2016

Reviews

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved the first third of this book. I actually did a lot of highlighting entire paragraphs and sections because there were so many verses and common sense truths about parenting that I needed to hear. However, I had a hard time connecting with the author during the last two-thirds of the book. Although she had many truths and solid points that parents can glean from, I felt as though her busier lifestyle and living in a more urban area made it difficult for me to relate to.

[Callie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was excited to read Uncommon Kids because I have met Sami Cone, and she is such an engaging, straight-forward person. I knew she would have a lot of wisdom to share, and I was excited for the opportunity to be a part of the book launch team!

Uncommon Kids covers 12 different traits that we all want our kids to have: love, harmony, gentleness, bearing with each other, forgiveness, wisdom, patience, kindness, gratitude, peace, humility, and compassion. These traits are pulled straight out Colossians, but what I thought was unique is that Cone separates these traits into different categories that relate to our interactions at home, with people outside our homes, and with the world in general.

The main message of this book is that if you want your kids to have these traits, you need to model it for them. Cone shares many personal stories and examples from her mothering experience to illustrate her points.

My favorite part of this book were the "Make It Practical" sections at the end of each chapter that give ideas of how you can model each of these traits in real-life ways. She includes so many good ideas. This is one of those books that I think would be helpful to read a little slower so you can reflect on what strategies you want to implement in your own family (I had to read it quicker than I might have if I hadn't been trying to finish it before the New Year).

Cone's approach is very practical and encouraging, and I was challenged by her perspective!

Note: I received a copy of this book for free as part of the book launch team. All opinions are my own.

[Oak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Raising Uncommon Kids: 12 Biblical Traits You Need to Raise Selfless Kids by Sami Cone discusses how to help foster selflessness in your children. My favorite parts of the book were the personal stories that the author shares with the readers. I also liked how Cone emphasizes gentleness, kindness, and patience as three of the twelve Biblical traits she features, exploring how these attributes are developed. The book has a lot of fun bonding ideas for parents and kids, especially in the “Make it Practical” sections, where Cone examines how to turn her theoretical parenting principles into everyday actions.

*I received this book for review*

[Keely Stephenson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am not a Christian but I was drawn to this book based on the principles (Love, Forgiveness, Kindness, Humility etc). It’s important this day and age to raise our children with good moral values and take a look at how we are acting & showing them ourselves.
I wish Cone would have gone into more detail, it was a very short read with not much substance to each chapter. However, I do like the way the book is laid out, going into practical uses and anecdotes. The author does a good job turning vulnerable moments into teaching moments!

[Michele Morin · Rating 5 out of 5]

You’re sitting around a table at your favorite restaurant. The kids are just cleaning up their plates; you’re fiddling with the debit card, when along comes the little lady with the big smile and the kind eyes.

“I just have to tell you how much I enjoyed seeing your children this evening . . .” she begins, and your heart swells with gratitude and pride because, deep down, we all want our children to stand out and to be remarkable for the right reasons.

Parenting would be lovely if only there were a formula, a series of steps to follow, which would ensure the desired outcome. Raising Uncommon Kids offers the astounding (and wise) suggestion that parents pay a little less attention to their children’s behavior and a little more time evaluating their own behavior.

There is no quick fix for raising children. There are, however, character qualities and behaviors that we desperately want to see in our kids’ lives. Author Sami Cone suggests that the first and best place to look for those characteristics is . . . in our own lives!

Beginning with the principles found in Colossians 3:12-17, Sami looks at the life of a family through three distinct lenses:

1.Your Heart at Home: How do you and your spouse talk to each other? What kinds of behaviors and responses are fair game on the average Thursday afternoon? What do your choices reveal about your priorities? Remember: “your influence will impact your kids far more than your instruction!”

2. Your Attitude Toward Others: Do your children see you considering others before yourself? Is their obedience all about fear and rules and consequences, or are they beginning to see that forgiveness, patience, and kindness are the best and most sensible way to live?

3. Your Influence in the World: Selfless behavior has impact far beyond the family room, and kids who are grounded in gratitude, peace, humility, and compassion will become world changers wherever they go.

Raising Uncommon Kids pulls in the experiences of a dozen wise mums who offer their input and encouragement in mentoring moments. Sami goes on to share very practical suggestions for putting godly character into action. For example, model gentleness in your home with lunch-box notes, spending time one-on-one with kids, or by charging a fine when kids or parents complain or make negative comments. Teach compassion and give kids a crash course in what it’s like to be an adult by switching roles for the day!

The traits listed in Colossians 3 — gentleness, forgiveness, wisdom, patience, kindness, humility — are foundational to living a peaceful and selfless life. The Bible is a mirror for parents in which we see clearly our own failures in word and deed, find forgiveness, and then move toward qualities that we want our children to emulate. Very often, a new tone in a household is not the result of a discouraging do-list of unachievable behaviors, but rather a change in heart based on truth that comes from the uncommon love of a wise heavenly Father.

//

This book was provided by Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, in exchange for my review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

[Rebekah · Rating 4 out of 5]

So I started reading Raising Uncommon Kids and then quit reading it at the 13th paragraph: “If I wanted my daughter to change, I realized, the change had to start with me.”

Wait. What? I went back to the cover. What had I missed? How was this book meant to change my children from self-absorbed drama queens into beautiful Proverbs 31 women about changing me first?! “12 Biblical Traits YOU NEED to Raise Selfless Kids.” I missed the two simple words in all caps. “YOU NEED.” (So then I laughed nervously at my oversight, picked myself up off the floor, and took a few cleansing yoga breaths before I started reading again.)

Me. It’s about me. My children model so much about who my husband and I are . . . and their “uncommonality” and selflessness is bound to be no different. Cone introduces and then dissects the 12 Biblical Traits we need to produce in our lives what we hope our children will emulate. From Love and Harmony to Wisdom and Patience to Humility and Compassion, each chapter provides an explanation, a mirror to hold up and examine ourselves, a mentor moment that will allow us to share these truths with our children, and practical tips to cultivate these traits in our children. And cultivate is the right word. While Colossians 3:12-17 can feel like a giant to do list for creating peaceful homes, it is really a guide for what God can do through our homes and families as we submit to His way of thinking, parenting, and living together.

These blog reviews always mean I have to read a book too fast to fully chew it, embrace it, and measure its change in my life. As a result, some of them require deeper reading. This is one of those books. I hope I can find a group of parents to chew it and embrace it and measure its change in our families with me.


DISCLAIMER: I received this book free from Baker Books through the Baker Books Bloggers Program in exchange for my honest review. I was not required to write a positive review, and all views expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with Federal Trade Commission guidelines.

[Brenda · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a mom raising children in today's society, I'm probably like every other parent in hoping that my children will not grow up to be like many of those you hear about in the news. We want to teach our children to be strong in character and morals, to try to always do what is right, to follow Biblical principles and teaching and to apply all of these things to peer pressure situations they will find themselves in when not with us. Because of this, I really wanted to read this book in the hopes of maybe finding some gems to help make the the spiritual vs secular fight a bit more fair.

While I did enjoy reading this book, in all honesty, I found it to be more about common sense. I already know that in order to raise children who display the traits I wish for them to have, I must first display these traits for them to observe and learn. Children learn by example and it is our job as parents to present that example.. Cone does a great job going into detail about the 12 various traits we should display for our children (love, forgiveness, wisdom, humility, compassion, ect) and gives examples of how exactly we can show these traits to our kids. Each of these traits have their own dedicated chapters so if one was to want to work on one particular trait at a time, it would be easily managed.

I really liked Cone's writing style - she doesn't beat around the bush and is pretty straight forward but she is also very engaging and entertaining. While I didn't find any earth shattering revelations (maybe that just means I'm doing a better job that I originally thought at raising these kiddos), I did find it a great read and a great reminder as to what is important in raising kids of character.

*I was given a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. I was not encouraged to write a positive review and all opinions are my own. *

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Author Sami Cone derived her twelve biblical traits from the scriptures in Colossians 3:12-17. These traits include love, harmony, gentleness, bearing with, forgiveness, wisdom, patience, kindness, gratitude, peace, humility, and compassion. The book is broken down into three sections that I envision as concentric circles. The first section focuses on home life. The second section is broader in scope and focuses on community, church, and school. The final section deals with one's place and influence in the world.

One predominant message that Cone stresses is the importance of parents mirroring the traits that they want their children to practice. "Your influence will impact your kids far more than your instructions." How often we forget the importance of leading by example, and we must remember that our children are always watching our actions for guidance. Cone offers simple tips to help put these spiritual disciplines into practice.

I enjoyed reading this book. I was impressed with Cone's openness about her spiritual background and her personal experiences as a wife and mother. Cone grew up in Chicago with an Anglican mother and a Jewish father of Polish and Ukrainian ancestry. She frankly discusses her struggles with depression and her need to seek marriage counseling at one point. I would recommend this book to anyone who enjoys reading a biblically-based parenting guide.

Many thanks to Baker Publishing Group for my copy! For more information here is a link to Sami Cone's website.

[Victoria W. · Rating 4 out of 5]

In a flip on most parenting books out there today, Sami Cone throws her voice into the ring by presenting 12 traits necessary in parents lives in order to raise selfless kids.
Whereas most parenting books talk about traits to teach our children, Cone focuses on the concept of modelling as a primary teacher and urges parents to work on self in order to be the most effective teachers.

The book itself is broken down into 12 chapters each embodying a different trait that continually effect a larger audience: self, others, world. As a result, the book may be read in one go through or broken down into units where one can go more in depth and explore a trait more deeply, perhaps looking at practical applications (of which some initial launching ideas are including at the end of each chapter) before moving onto the next chapter or section.

In light of Cone's focus on parental behaviour and her own analytical personality, Raising Uncommon Kids reads less conversational and more educationally focused than a lot of current parenting books. As I explained to my husband, it felt more like sitting in a classroom than meeting over coffee. This will make it a great resource for parents who learn best in this setting as it seems to be an underrepresented area in parenting books I've come across.

The balance between Scriptural teaching and practical ideas also served as a wonderful resource for those who need help getting out of their heads and putting what they've learned into practice,

3.5 stars out of 5

I received this book from Nuts about Books in exchange for my honest opinion.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sami's words are spot on--this book isn't about how to make your kids better but how to be the parent that can lead kids better. I loved the 12 traits, the practical and doable suggestions and the Scripture woven throughout. A perfect book for small groups or MOPS or the parent that needs a reminder of the importance of parenting.