Speaking with Strangers

by Mary Cantwell

Picking up where Manhattan, When I Was Young left off, an author continues her life story with the next set of seven years, during which she traveled through Europe in an effort to find herself, engaged in a disastrous love affair, and strengthened her friendship with novelist Frederick Exley. Reprint.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography Memoir, Memoir

96 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1998

About the author

http://www.nytimes.com/2000/02/02/nyr...

Reviews

[Veronika · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is amazing what one will come across at Half-Price Books! Inspiration is hidden among titles and authors unknown to me, waiting to be randomly selected . . . this book is small, but may be the heaviest, most honest memoir I have ever encountered. Besides inspiration, the author afforded a mirror into my own soul -- what more can one ask for?

[Bibliophile · Rating 3 out of 5]

Had difficulty concentrating due to extreme annoyance at The Balding Man, who internet tells me was James Dickey, for his supreme douchiness. I silently scolded Mary Cantwell as well for putting up with him, but her high tolerance for bullshit does make sense to me, having read her previous two memoirs.

[L. O'Neil · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I was a young teenager, I read the magazines that Mary Cantwell edited and wrote for -- Glamour, Mademoiselle, Seventeen, etc. I thought she must be a glamourous mademoiselle indeed. Studying magazines was a way for a pre-teen in the 1960s to look inside the career culture now displayed on Mad Men and other retro tv programs and films.

This memoir offers a view of a serially insecure and conflicted woman who depends on a spouse (they divorce), a famous Southern rustic author-lover (he dies), and her two daughters (who are given cardboard cutout nicknames to reflect their personalities).

She travels, talks to a few strangers, holes up in luxury hotel rooms when the magazine is paying the bill. I totally understand all that. What I don't get is why she didn't love herself more.

The narrative sent me online to track down the rest of the story. I learned the author died more than a decade ago of cancer and the real names of the famous author and her divorced spouse that are coyly referred to by initials or tag lines in the book. Wikipedia trumps her fake naming which was probably rooted in an urge to protect the privacy of her loved ones.

In sum, a memoir of interest to people who are or were devotees of fashion magazines. Maybe we need to know more about the biographies and personalities of the editors and writers who steer this high value industry.

[Kathleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ah Mary, we hardly knew ye! This third part of her trilogy of memories is focused on the travels in her life. Travels and travails. It is a tribute to the art of writing that a person who chronicles her remote nature reveals her most private, inner thoughts and motivations through it.The last chapter, Nine, is to be re-read, re-read, and treasured.

Did Mary Cantwell know that her life transcribed reads like a progression of history? She touches on feminism, the unraveling of *polite* society in the 60s,the gentrification of many sections of NYC, the growing irrelevance of organized religion, race, divorce as a way of life, abusive relationships, the rise of psychiatry...it goes on and on. Yet, none of these are ever the topic --they just are illustrated by her apprising the reader of the details of her day-to-day existence.

I really will miss her.

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was awed by the amount of self-absorption and egotism that Mary Cantwell had. I read on hoping that I would learn something from this book, but I didn't.

[Pat Villaceran · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cantwell showed us how human we are. As parents, how do we balance our yearning for our own self while being a part of children's lives? How do we seek love when we don't know how to love ourselves? How are we a part of the world when we don't speak to one another?

Speaking with Strangers is a good memoir. It's not the best, most thrilling sensation, but that's not the point of the book. I believe what Cantwell wants to achieve here is the simplicity of sharing her story. And being a renowned editor, I'm grateful for her secrets, her sorrows, her hidden thoughts.

Somebody noted they were expecting to learn something from the book (but they didn't). For me, I learned to be fearless because I don't want to live a life of regrets, like, probably, in some way, Cantell did.

[Belinda · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is her sequel to Manhattan When I Was Young and was such a joy to read as I love Mary Cantwell’s writing. In many ways her life seemed sad but it was hers and she lived it as she wanted.

[Trudy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this because it was referenced in The Barbizon.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

The best of the trilogy, especially the final chapter.

[Rasha · Rating 2 out of 5]

Had no reason to buy this book, very random. Yet i enjoyed reading it, it touched me a little, so many relatable things.

[Carol · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book reads very easily--I started it this afternoon and didn't put it down until I'd finished. I didn't give it a higher rating because while the writing is excellent I had no sense that the author had really grown from all her experiences. The book left me troubled by some of her relationships about how well equipped her older daughter will turn out to be--about the self she feels she has come to be.

[Patty · Rating 1 out of 5]

The photo of Mary Cantwell on the dust jacket says it all - she looks grim, angry, and humorless - just like this memoir.

[Stefanie Onieal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful writing from a woman who was ahead of her time.

[Rose]

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