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Married Love
"
This is a classic work of the world, a precious jewel in the world literature, which has inspired many generations of readers. We are pleased to bring readers full version. with a clear, attractive expression of this work. Hope you have enjoyable hours!
--Book Introduction--
""Married Love"" is one of the most famous 'sex education' manuals. First published in 1918, it sold tens of thousands of copies, and was one of the first publications to openly discuss issues such as variations in male and female sexual desire in a form which could be easily read and understood by the ordinary reader. This is the 6th, revised and expanded, edition, from 1919. The main text is mostly unchanged. An appendix has been added with some extra information on subjects such as sex during pregnancy.
"
This is a classic work of the world, a precious jewel in the world literature, which has inspired many generations of readers. We are pleased to bring readers full version. with a clear, attractive expression of this work. Hope you have enjoyable hours!
--Book Introduction--
""Married Love"" is one of the most famous 'sex education' manuals. First published in 1918, it sold tens of thousands of copies, and was one of the first publications to openly discuss issues such as variations in male and female sexual desire in a form which could be easily read and understood by the ordinary reader. This is the 6th, revised and expanded, edition, from 1919. The main text is mostly unchanged. An appendix has been added with some extra information on subjects such as sex during pregnancy.
"
172 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1918
73 people are currently reading
753 people want to read
About the author
Marie Stopes
69 books23 followersMarie Charlotte Carmichael Stopes was a British author, palaeobotanist, academic, campaigner for women's rights and pioneer in the field of birth control. Her contributions to plant palaeontology and coal classification were significant, and she was the first female academic on the faculty of the University of Manchester. With her second husband Humphrey Verdon Roe she founded the first birth control clinic in Britain. Stopes edited the newsletter Birth Control News which gave explicit practical advice. Her sex manual Married Love was controversial and influential: it brought the subject of birth control into wide public discourse. She was never in favour of abortion, arguing that preventing conception was all that was needed.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews
November 19, 2017
Yes, it's a little outdated, but you can still see why it caused such a stir among the prim British set. I giggled at some passages and found myself agreeing with the author on several points. I would not recommend it today, given it's emphasis on gender roles, but if you're interested in the history of sex education, this is an interesting read.
November 26, 2011
I found this book on manybooks.net, and loved it. There are a few things that are a bit outdated, such as the sleeping in different beds or even different rooms, but for the most part this book was an inspiring read. Marie Stopes was a feminist who understood that marriage is so important, and the reason why husbands and wives can be unhappy is often due to sexual ignorance on the man's part to understand how to satisfy his wife. It is a very classy, appropriate book about the importance of communication with your spouse to improve your entire marriage. She pointed out that if the man doesn't listen to his wife and her sexual needs, then she becomes withdrawn and unhappy. This in turn causes the man to become confused and frustrated, often leading to seeking sastifaction elswhere than the marriage. She states that simple communication can save marriages, and she's right. It was truly a delightful read, and my hat goes off to Stopes for having the courage to write a book like this in 1918.
January 11, 2015
Remarkably open and up-to-date, written in very English upperclass but also scientific style. Shocking to read of totally sex-ignorant women who killed themselves, traumatized on their wedding night. Hilarious fact: all the tagged-on "editor's notes" were actually very outdated - "using condoms is bad for women since they need to absorb the semen in their system to be healthy"; "artificial insemination is a fad and will never catch on".
An educative read, about sex, marriage and how people thought in upperclass England 100 years ago.
An educative read, about sex, marriage and how people thought in upperclass England 100 years ago.
February 20, 2008
Marie Stopes was a very active British eugenicist in early 20th Century Britain. She was so devoted to her cause that she disowned her son when he married a women with eyeglasses, due to a genetic condition. This is her first published work outside of her primary field of paleobotany. It's an amusing account of how married couples should behave with each other sexually and one of the first publications dealing with birth control for this period. Makes a good double feature with Margaret Sanger for those interested in global eugenics. I gave this two stars for its blantant racism and for the obviousness of the material. However, this is a modernist point of view imposed on a time where Married Love was groundbreaking.
January 18, 2015
Was Marie Stopes really a virgin when she wrote this, as claimed? I doubt it. It is very knowing. It is also laced with tenderness towards those who are at the beginning of sexual activity. It recognizes that this is often not a romantic fairy tale, rather it can be a bit of an ordeal of awkwardness and uncertainty. Stopes' book must have been a life-saver for thousands of young women and men. Although it is frank and can leave no reader in any doubt about what actually happens in the mating bed, it is none the less a book of its time (circa 1918). It is written in a lyrical Mill-and-Boon style that verges on the comical compared to today's pared down styles. Stopes was clearly a true romantic at heart.
April 17, 2012
Help for an entire generation who were bad in bed.
Marie Stopes, ScD, PhD broke ground with her 1918 revolutionary and soon banned book dedicated to husbands who want to do the job right. This marriage manual reflects anecdotal research and represents the limited the knowledge of the time from a woman's perspective. It was a courageous act by an intelligent and inquiring woman.
But, don't try this at home.
Interesting and helpful for researching for my book, "The Secret Life of Anna Blanc," an homage to old Los Angeles inspired by Alice Stebin Wells, an LAPD police matron, who in 1910, became the first woman in the Western world to be granted police powers.
Marie Stopes, ScD, PhD broke ground with her 1918 revolutionary and soon banned book dedicated to husbands who want to do the job right. This marriage manual reflects anecdotal research and represents the limited the knowledge of the time from a woman's perspective. It was a courageous act by an intelligent and inquiring woman.
But, don't try this at home.
Interesting and helpful for researching for my book, "The Secret Life of Anna Blanc," an homage to old Los Angeles inspired by Alice Stebin Wells, an LAPD police matron, who in 1910, became the first woman in the Western world to be granted police powers.
August 16, 2022
I'm just 100 years late to read this book, but even though they are just discovering hormones, this book was really inspiring and so ahead of its time in terms of women's sex life and married life in general. The book is life-changing ❤️
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May 16, 2012maybe its a bit late to start reading this - almost one hundred years after publication and at age 52... but I came across it on a free book app for iphone and thought it might be interesting to see what Marie Stopes had to say on the subject .
... well I must admit I skipped through the social and baby sections because I dont have one, but this must have been an eye opener for some people in its day. Well done Marie Stopes.
... well I must admit I skipped through the social and baby sections because I dont have one, but this must have been an eye opener for some people in its day. Well done Marie Stopes.
December 25, 2014
An interesting insight into the mind if 1900s people. Every thought is cloyingly cloaked in flowery prose. None of the thoughts are particularly relevant to people of 2014. Read it as an exercise to understand how sexuality was viewed back then.
July 2, 2017
An important and eye opening historical document, even if some of Stopes' views are now rather out of date. The most shocking parts were her quoting the views of contemporary (male) medical professionals, saying things such as women don't need to ever enjoy "marital relations"... ugh!
August 20, 2016
بحث علمي جاد يتناول الموضوع بشكل علمي وموضوعي بعيدا عن السطحية والاثارة والابتذال
March 30, 2018
Published in 1918 by the “Eugenics Publishing Co.” and making frequent mention of a “racial” instinct to strive and perfect oneself, this book is nonetheless liberal, generous, and far-seeing. The author Marie Stopes advocates for sex education, links women’s hysteria with lack of female orgasms during sex, and advises timing sex based on the menstrual cycle, in order to maximize female pleasure! Taken all together, this book suggests that women’s satisfaction should be the goal of marriage and of sexual activity.
She writes in a lyrical style that easily soars when she describes our potential for happiness:
“The burning magnificence of an overpowering lifelong love is not given to many...”
And she persuades by appealing to an expanded perspective:
“To those who protest that we have no right to interfere with the course of nature, one must point out that the whole of civilization, everything which separates man from animals, is an interference with what such people commonly call nature.”
She writes in a lyrical style that easily soars when she describes our potential for happiness:
“The burning magnificence of an overpowering lifelong love is not given to many...”
And she persuades by appealing to an expanded perspective:
“To those who protest that we have no right to interfere with the course of nature, one must point out that the whole of civilization, everything which separates man from animals, is an interference with what such people commonly call nature.”
March 18, 2010
Writer Kate Figes has chosen to discuss Marie Stope's,
Married Love
on FiveBooks as one of the top five on her subject - Sex and Marriage, saying that:
"Its about women's need to be seduced not just the first time but every time. She said 70 to 80 per cent of married women were deprived of a full orgasm by their husband's speed."
The full interview is available here: http://five-books.com/interviews/kate-figes
"Its about women's need to be seduced not just the first time but every time. She said 70 to 80 per cent of married women were deprived of a full orgasm by their husband's speed."
The full interview is available here: http://five-books.com/interviews/kate-figes
May 23, 2012
Unfortunately, I didn't read this edition so missed the introduction. Would love to read that as well -- on its own, Married Love is a thoughtful discussion of turn-of-the-century love and marriage, with a great deal of insight buried in its now antiquated views/lanuage.
October 25, 2013
Very interesting read. Slightly pedantic, not always easy to follow for a non-native speaker, plus almost a century old and thus filled with century old ideas mingled with extremely progressive ideas from Stopes. Read as research for project.
October 7, 2025
It was sososososo interesting to read this book, written in 1919, about married sex, birth control and infertility ("can very often be the man's fault, especially if he works in the city.") I'm sure at the time it was groundbreaking, as well as blush-inducing.
December 5, 2009
This book focuses on Stopes' view of relationships, eugenics, and birth control. The language is very hard to follow. I gave up on this one.
December 3, 2012
ترجمة ركيكة في معظم الأحيان .. إلا أن الكتاب محترم رغم عدم تبويبه استنادًا إلى منهجٍ واضح.
December 29, 2022
A fascinating book, written in 1918 as a guide to sexual happiness for married couples. Marie Stopes was a feminist who advocated birth control and set up a number of clinics. Although this book is written in quite flowery language and some of the information/advice is a little bizarre, the basic message that couples need to be educated about each other's needs and desires and talk to each other about it is an enduring one!
The book was controversial when released and banned in the US, mainly because of the sections on birth control. Stopes had a contradictory reputation but we should all be grateful for her pioneering work. A fascinating insight into the ignorance and prejudices that prevailed well into the 20th century and one woman's determination to be plain speaking and practical and get people talking about their basic functions.
The book was controversial when released and banned in the US, mainly because of the sections on birth control. Stopes had a contradictory reputation but we should all be grateful for her pioneering work. A fascinating insight into the ignorance and prejudices that prevailed well into the 20th century and one woman's determination to be plain speaking and practical and get people talking about their basic functions.
February 27, 2023
this shite book I had to read for a source essay. the woman literally disowned her son for marrying someone with glasses because she called it a physical disease. nasty nasty woman. yes, this is a sex manual but my essay question was about sex so husssshhhhhh. this was genuinely pure dogshit tho. every second was pure torture . this essay did not want to end. anyone giving it above two stars is either a white woman, racist, entertained by eugenics and low-key supports it. “Yes it’s a little outdated” honey, if I ever wanted kids she would have told me to get sterilised instead after knowing my medical history respectfully no xx Get fucked Marie Stopes
August 13, 2019
This book's publication early last century renders it an interesting exploration into sexual morality, healthy relationships and, indeed, the specifics of sexual intercourse. In some cases the sentiments and ideas are really not that different to today, whereas in others you get a glimpse of how different especially the understanding between a man and woman's needs in Western (largely Christianised) culture was. She was pro-abortion which, of course, I disagree with, but all round this was a decent and reasonably insightful book.
March 31, 2020
When considering the time period, this is a truly revolutionary book. I read this after it having been mentioned multiple times in “The Giver of Stars”.
August 2, 2019
Yes, It's the scandalous, little brown book from Downton Abbey.
I don't think Stopes mentions any contraceptive devices by name, so I wonder which page Anna was pointing at! Different editions?
It's quite rambly, poetic and you must read between the lines. Otherwise I found it very feminist for its time.
I don't think Stopes mentions any contraceptive devices by name, so I wonder which page Anna was pointing at! Different editions?
It's quite rambly, poetic and you must read between the lines. Otherwise I found it very feminist for its time.
March 13, 2022
I wanted to read this because it was mentioned in Jojo Moyes’ book Giver of Stars. Definitely outdated in both language and info but I was impressed by the letter from a pastor who spoke of its merits and thanked the author. It was impressive that a religious leader would take the time to praise a book that discussed (god forbid) enjoying your sex life.
April 30, 2024
The star rating is mostly because it would bug me if I didn't leave one. This was an incredibly difficult book to try to evaluate, but I think ultimately my opinion is that this is a very good book, written by someone who "controversial" doesn't begin to describe. Stopes was a eugenicist, and in some ways an extreme one even by eugenicist standards. It's been reported that she cut her son out of her will for marrying a short sighted person, she supported Hitler until his regime began to oppose birth control, there were times in her career when she seemed to advocate for the sterilisation of lower classes... it's really quite endless, even when accounting for the unfair slander levelled by those less progressive than her. Which itself is quite telling, really. Aimé Césaire was right in considering Hitler not an abberation, but an almost unavoidable point on the path western society had been treading for a very long time before him.
This is part of why I'm so surprised that Married Love is, genuinely, a well written, highly moving, in some ways even progressive book.
I guess everyone contains multitudes. Writing "In the noblest society love will hold sway. The love of mates will always be the supremest life-experience, but it will no longer be an experience exclusive and warped. The love of friends and children, of comrades and fellow-workers, will but serve to develop every power of the two who are mates. By mingling the greatness of their individual stature they can achieve together something that had both or either been dwarfed and puny individuals, would have remained for ever unattainable." and "Marriage can never reach its full stature until women possess as much intellectual freedom and freedom of opportunity within it as do their partners." and "in the whole human relation there is no slavery or torture so horrible as coerced, unwilling motherhood." and "The supreme law for husbands is: Remember that each act of union must be tenderly wooed for and won. and that no union should ever take place unless the woman also desires it and is made physically ready for it." and several passages addressing and condemning marital rape don't preclude someone from also advocating for atrocities, but it is difficult to reconcile.
It's unquestionably feminist. Not perfectly, to modern standards, and more or less restricted to married Brits, but the emphasis on women as equals to men - despite what the writer considers fundamental physical differences - is unwavering. Stopes advocates strongly for birth control despite relatively few methods being known at the time, imagines a future where IVF allows greater family planning, and cautions women from having more children than they want. Stopes argues with the church, with tradition, and with those of her fellow scientists who think women have no right to or need for sexual pleasure. The discussions of female sexuality are so frank, there's sections a lot of modern men could still benefit from reading.
To be clear, I don't mean that her more objectionable views aren't present here. To a certain extent you can look past some on the grounds of this being published 106 years ago, but many of the scientists she quotes are recognisable bioessentialists, and while she doesn't in this book say anything objectionable about other races, the repetition of "our race" alongside lauding strength and health make it easy to read between the lines. Relevant also is her constant use of a normal/abnormal binary - again, she's suprisingly sympathetic to those she deems abnormal in this book, but you can easily see how someone so fond of putting people in boxes can start deciding that only some boxes should be kept around.
It helps that Stopes is very clear about who she's writing for, and does not seem to judge those who she isn't. She tells the reader that she can only comment on British society, and primarily the educated classes to which she belongs - fair enough. There's times where she calls this society civilised (presumably implying uncivilised ones elsewhere), but equally often writes "civilised" with the quotation marks included, implying the civilisation is a lie - this interpretation bolstered by the number of times she openly condemns what we call civilisation. She states openly that this is a book for men and women who desire or have decided on marriage, and directs people who don't desire sex at all, as well as those more "fundamentally incompatible" (in context obviously homosexuals) to other books, so that they might "discover to which type of our widely various humanity [they] belong" rather than sitting here judging those considered "normal". I can honestly say I was touched by this. I can't begin to guess how much of the compassion here was genuine, whether Stopes consciously toned things down for this publication, whether it was written before her views on eugenics formed or expanded beyond babies doomed to very short lives, or whether there's more intended subtext than I as a modern reader am unable to pick up on, but, at least to me, the compassion is there. Personally I can appreciate a book that admits it's not written for me, at least when it doesn't seem to think that something I should be looking to change.
This is part of why I'm so surprised that Married Love is, genuinely, a well written, highly moving, in some ways even progressive book.
I guess everyone contains multitudes. Writing "In the noblest society love will hold sway. The love of mates will always be the supremest life-experience, but it will no longer be an experience exclusive and warped. The love of friends and children, of comrades and fellow-workers, will but serve to develop every power of the two who are mates. By mingling the greatness of their individual stature they can achieve together something that had both or either been dwarfed and puny individuals, would have remained for ever unattainable." and "Marriage can never reach its full stature until women possess as much intellectual freedom and freedom of opportunity within it as do their partners." and "in the whole human relation there is no slavery or torture so horrible as coerced, unwilling motherhood." and "The supreme law for husbands is: Remember that each act of union must be tenderly wooed for and won. and that no union should ever take place unless the woman also desires it and is made physically ready for it." and several passages addressing and condemning marital rape don't preclude someone from also advocating for atrocities, but it is difficult to reconcile.
It's unquestionably feminist. Not perfectly, to modern standards, and more or less restricted to married Brits, but the emphasis on women as equals to men - despite what the writer considers fundamental physical differences - is unwavering. Stopes advocates strongly for birth control despite relatively few methods being known at the time, imagines a future where IVF allows greater family planning, and cautions women from having more children than they want. Stopes argues with the church, with tradition, and with those of her fellow scientists who think women have no right to or need for sexual pleasure. The discussions of female sexuality are so frank, there's sections a lot of modern men could still benefit from reading.
To be clear, I don't mean that her more objectionable views aren't present here. To a certain extent you can look past some on the grounds of this being published 106 years ago, but many of the scientists she quotes are recognisable bioessentialists, and while she doesn't in this book say anything objectionable about other races, the repetition of "our race" alongside lauding strength and health make it easy to read between the lines. Relevant also is her constant use of a normal/abnormal binary - again, she's suprisingly sympathetic to those she deems abnormal in this book, but you can easily see how someone so fond of putting people in boxes can start deciding that only some boxes should be kept around.
It helps that Stopes is very clear about who she's writing for, and does not seem to judge those who she isn't. She tells the reader that she can only comment on British society, and primarily the educated classes to which she belongs - fair enough. There's times where she calls this society civilised (presumably implying uncivilised ones elsewhere), but equally often writes "civilised" with the quotation marks included, implying the civilisation is a lie - this interpretation bolstered by the number of times she openly condemns what we call civilisation. She states openly that this is a book for men and women who desire or have decided on marriage, and directs people who don't desire sex at all, as well as those more "fundamentally incompatible" (in context obviously homosexuals) to other books, so that they might "discover to which type of our widely various humanity [they] belong" rather than sitting here judging those considered "normal". I can honestly say I was touched by this. I can't begin to guess how much of the compassion here was genuine, whether Stopes consciously toned things down for this publication, whether it was written before her views on eugenics formed or expanded beyond babies doomed to very short lives, or whether there's more intended subtext than I as a modern reader am unable to pick up on, but, at least to me, the compassion is there. Personally I can appreciate a book that admits it's not written for me, at least when it doesn't seem to think that something I should be looking to change.
July 23, 2018
Fascinating study in historical literature on marriage and relationships.
October 8, 2020
Read this book to go along with our book club choice, giver of stars by jojo moyes. Interesting that it was wrong then for information over 100 years ago.
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October 15, 2021I read this book because they kept mentioning it in The Giver of Stars. Big yikes @ knowing society thought this merited banning (other than the eugenics, obviously)
May 27, 2021
Compares favourably with "How to Love a Woman" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, in that it has a much firmer basis in biology and clinical case study, and as well as in a highly refined variety of Swedenborgian mysticism, which was what originally brought it to my attention.
The treatment of the biological rhythms influencing the lives of men and women (the chapter on "The fundamental pulse"), the necessity for mutual adjustment, the large spirited attitude towards relations beyond the couple and the predicament of "perpetual propinquity" (the chapter on Society), and the reflections on natural beauty of the human form (the chapter "Modesty and Romance") are all worth careful consideration and wider discussion.
The treatment of the biological rhythms influencing the lives of men and women (the chapter on "The fundamental pulse"), the necessity for mutual adjustment, the large spirited attitude towards relations beyond the couple and the predicament of "perpetual propinquity" (the chapter on Society), and the reflections on natural beauty of the human form (the chapter "Modesty and Romance") are all worth careful consideration and wider discussion.
December 9, 2021
A 1918 publication, I read the 1939 American publication of the British book. This book provided a guide to married life to young couple and the significance of this book is that it was written at a time when the topic was considered a private one and that too got a female.
There may be better literature based on latest research to guide young couple of modern times.
There may be better literature based on latest research to guide young couple of modern times.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews