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Destructive Emotions: A Scientific Dialogue with the Dalai Lama
*Why do seemingly rational, intelligent people commit acts of cruelty and violence?
*What are the root causes of destructive behavior?
*How can we control the emotions that drive these impulses?
*Can we learn to live at peace with ourselves and others?
Imagine sitting with the Dalai Lama in his private meeting room with a small group of world-class scientists and philosophers. The talk is lively and fascinating as these leading minds grapple with age-old questions of compelling contemporary urgency. Daniel Goleman, the internationally bestselling author of Emotional Intelligence , provides the illuminating commentary—and reports on the breakthrough research this historic gathering inspired.
Destructive Emotions
Buddhist philosophy tells us that all personal unhappiness and interpersonal conflict lie in the “three poisons”: craving, anger, and delusion. It also provides antidotes of astonishing psychological sophistication--which are now being confirmed by modern neuroscience. With new high-tech devices, scientists can peer inside the brain centers that calm the inner storms of rage and fear. They also can demonstrate that awareness-training strategies such as meditation strengthen emotional stability—and greatly enhance our positive moods.
The distinguished panel members report these recent findings and debate an exhilarating range of other What role do destructive emotions play in human evolution? Are they “hardwired” in our bodies? Are they universal, or does culture determine how we feel? How can we nurture the compassion that is also our birthright? We learn how practices that reduce negativity have also been shown to bolster the immune system. Here, too, is an enlightened proposal for a school-based program of social and emotional learning that can help our children increase self-awareness, manage their anger, and become more empathetic.
Throughout, these provocative ideas are brought to life by the play of personalities, by the Dalai Lama’s probing questions, and by his surprising sense of humor. Although there are no easy answers, the dialogues, which are part of a series sponsored by the Mind and Life Institute, chart an ultimately hopeful course. They are sure to spark discussion among educators, religious and political leaders, parents—and all people who seek peace for themselves and the world.
The Mind and Life Institute sponsors cross-cultural dialogues that bring together the Dalai Lama and other Buddhist scholars with Western scientists and philosophers. Mind and Life VIII , on which this book is based, took place in Dharamsala, India, in March 2000.
*What are the root causes of destructive behavior?
*How can we control the emotions that drive these impulses?
*Can we learn to live at peace with ourselves and others?
Imagine sitting with the Dalai Lama in his private meeting room with a small group of world-class scientists and philosophers. The talk is lively and fascinating as these leading minds grapple with age-old questions of compelling contemporary urgency. Daniel Goleman, the internationally bestselling author of Emotional Intelligence , provides the illuminating commentary—and reports on the breakthrough research this historic gathering inspired.
Destructive Emotions
Buddhist philosophy tells us that all personal unhappiness and interpersonal conflict lie in the “three poisons”: craving, anger, and delusion. It also provides antidotes of astonishing psychological sophistication--which are now being confirmed by modern neuroscience. With new high-tech devices, scientists can peer inside the brain centers that calm the inner storms of rage and fear. They also can demonstrate that awareness-training strategies such as meditation strengthen emotional stability—and greatly enhance our positive moods.
The distinguished panel members report these recent findings and debate an exhilarating range of other What role do destructive emotions play in human evolution? Are they “hardwired” in our bodies? Are they universal, or does culture determine how we feel? How can we nurture the compassion that is also our birthright? We learn how practices that reduce negativity have also been shown to bolster the immune system. Here, too, is an enlightened proposal for a school-based program of social and emotional learning that can help our children increase self-awareness, manage their anger, and become more empathetic.
Throughout, these provocative ideas are brought to life by the play of personalities, by the Dalai Lama’s probing questions, and by his surprising sense of humor. Although there are no easy answers, the dialogues, which are part of a series sponsored by the Mind and Life Institute, chart an ultimately hopeful course. They are sure to spark discussion among educators, religious and political leaders, parents—and all people who seek peace for themselves and the world.
The Mind and Life Institute sponsors cross-cultural dialogues that bring together the Dalai Lama and other Buddhist scholars with Western scientists and philosophers. Mind and Life VIII , on which this book is based, took place in Dharamsala, India, in March 2000.
448 pages, Paperback
First published February 29, 2000
446 people are currently reading
7160 people want to read
About the author
Daniel Goleman
387 books5,523 followersAuthor of Emotional Intelligence and psychologist Daniel Goleman has transformed the way the world educates children, relates to family and friends, and conducts business. The Wall Street Journal ranked him one of the 10 most influential business thinkers.
Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence was on The New York Times best sellers list for a year-and-a-half. Named one of the 25 "Most Influential Business Management Books" by TIME, it has been translated into 40 languages. The Harvard Business Review called emotional intelligence (EI) “a revolutionary, paradigm-shattering idea.”
Goleman’s new book, Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence, argues that attention — a fundamental mental ability for success — has come under siege. Leadership that gets results demands a triple focus: on our inner world so we can manage ourselves; on others, for our relationships; and on the outer forces that shape our organizations and society itself.
His more recent books include The Brain and Emotional Intelligence, and Leadership: The Power of Emotional Intelligence - Selected Writings.
Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence was on The New York Times best sellers list for a year-and-a-half. Named one of the 25 "Most Influential Business Management Books" by TIME, it has been translated into 40 languages. The Harvard Business Review called emotional intelligence (EI) “a revolutionary, paradigm-shattering idea.”
Goleman’s new book, Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence, argues that attention — a fundamental mental ability for success — has come under siege. Leadership that gets results demands a triple focus: on our inner world so we can manage ourselves; on others, for our relationships; and on the outer forces that shape our organizations and society itself.
His more recent books include The Brain and Emotional Intelligence, and Leadership: The Power of Emotional Intelligence - Selected Writings.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 170 reviews
August 8, 2009
I'm an atheist, but I find Buddhism to be a compelling religion. I admire the Dalai Lama (duh), but what is truly stunning is his scientific curiosity. Never before have a I heard a religious leader say that if scientific evidence contradicts the dogma of a religion, that religion *must change* to accommodate this new data - that's exactly what the Dalai Lama states in this book. Read it!
June 11, 2012
It's unfortunate that this book is titled what it is. It's really a book of comparative psychology/philosophy of mind: Western vs. Buddhist. It explores in detail the complex Buddhist concept of emotions/afflictions, and how Western language and philosophy have framed ideas of compassion, mind, and ethics in contrasting ways. A practical bridge between the mythical elusiveness of concepts like nirvana and samsara and the way that the brain actually handles emotions across cultures. The scientists here major innovators in their fields, and each of them have published separately.
November 16, 2012
This is not an easy read. This is not the kind of material that I breezed through and I've found that while the rational and logical aspects kept me rooted, some realizations along the way were pretty painful. I read this with a journal next to me. And I'm not finished reading it yet. The book offers a lot of self-reflection and one of the most poignant takeaways I received from this is how the Dalai Lama had to take a break during one seminar when he learned that Westerners hated themselves. He never thought that anyone can be capable of that.
I can read this over and over again, but in different phases of my life. Really grateful for this book.
I can read this over and over again, but in different phases of my life. Really grateful for this book.
January 21, 2008
Unfortunately, Daniel Goleman rather gets in the way of the "dialogue” to which the title refers. He seems much more intent on creating a Dalai Lama hagiography than presenting the reader with a pellucid transcript of the proceedings of what, to be fair, does seem to have been an amazing colloquium. Notwithstanding the annoying smarminess of Goleman, the book has its moments. In particular I found discussions in which neuroscience research findings were described and related to Tibetan Buddhism to be extremely interesting.
November 4, 2015
The structure of the book took some getting used to with its propensity for "dialogues". But the book holds many gems. One of my favorites takes place when the Dalai Lama is asked how we're supposed to have compassion for others.
This is paraphrased:
He said the greatest example of compassion is the compassion a mother has for her child. If we can take that type of compassion and focus it on all we come in contact with. That is compassion. That is love.
This is paraphrased:
He said the greatest example of compassion is the compassion a mother has for her child. If we can take that type of compassion and focus it on all we come in contact with. That is compassion. That is love.
June 21, 2016
The book was written as the proceedings of the eighth Mind and Life meeting, having as the main topic destructive emotions. The biographies of the participants are as interesting as the topic of the discussion. In order to better portrait the participants, The author also gives some short information about their lives and what motivates them in their research. We are told about the Dalai Lama’s childhood and his interest in science from a young age. Another nice example is Jeanne Tsai, who was born in the US to Taiwanese parents. She was studying how cultural influences affect emotions and self perception. While reading the book I was left with the lasting impression that the scientists participating to the talk were doing this research out of altruism. They were motivated by how their findings could help people have a better mental state, be happier and increase their interior well-being.
One of the many interesting ideas shared during the Mind and Life meeting is that mediation can lead to changes in your neural circuits. In order to support this claim, Richard Davidson’s research regarding mental activity of subjects with a long experience in mediation is presented.
Each of the participants tried to bring their contribution to the topic being discussed. Alongside scientific results, views on the Western and Buddhist philosophy regarding emotions were presented.
The downside of this book was the form in which the information was organized. Throughout this book it I was under the impression that the author was doing exercises on how to turn direct into indirect speech. This made it quite hard to read.
Before encountering this book I had almost no knowledge about Buddhism or meditation practice. Although it does not give you an introduction into any of these topics, it has sparked my interest in both of them.
One of the many interesting ideas shared during the Mind and Life meeting is that mediation can lead to changes in your neural circuits. In order to support this claim, Richard Davidson’s research regarding mental activity of subjects with a long experience in mediation is presented.
Each of the participants tried to bring their contribution to the topic being discussed. Alongside scientific results, views on the Western and Buddhist philosophy regarding emotions were presented.
The downside of this book was the form in which the information was organized. Throughout this book it I was under the impression that the author was doing exercises on how to turn direct into indirect speech. This made it quite hard to read.
Before encountering this book I had almost no knowledge about Buddhism or meditation practice. Although it does not give you an introduction into any of these topics, it has sparked my interest in both of them.
January 20, 2020
Es la primera vez que me cuesta tanto tiempo terminar un libro... más que diálogos, es una compilación de biografías egocentricas con poco contenido de lo que verdaderamente menciona el título del libro.
January 15, 2022
The Mind and Life Institute has tied up with the Dalai Lama and they host a series of lectures that compares the scientific literature on a subject with insights from Tibetian Buddhism. Daniel Goleman attends this retreat on Destructive Emotions. The scientist Paul Ekman (famous for his work on human facial expressions) talks about his painful life and how it motivated him to study this subject and the Dalai Lama talks about the Tibetian view of life. The eclectic conversations and ability of all subjects to review information with an open mind make it a fascinating read. It's not for everyone because it's not an easy read. You have to commit to learning about negative emotions and how to deal with them. I took this up after I recovered from depression and the book helped me understand the root of such emotions.
November 8, 2019
Para continuar a ler/ouvir estes diálogos/ensinamentos anuais com o este inigualável senhor Dalai Lama
www.mindandlife.org
www.mindandlife.org
November 8, 2012
A great primer for anyone who wants to get some knowledge on neuroscience. Additionally one would appreciate how the author explains on length different sections of the brains anatomy ,for many of the uninitiated it would be their first time coming across terms such as as Amygdala, Hippocampus , Frontal Lobes et al.
Going beyond just explaining brain anatomy , Daniel Goldman illustrates how all of these parts have a great bearing on our personalities and behavior.The book breaks through the Freudian consensus that has developed over the past century when it comes to behavior to a new paradigm .All in all a great reader for the specialist and the layman alike!
Going beyond just explaining brain anatomy , Daniel Goldman illustrates how all of these parts have a great bearing on our personalities and behavior.The book breaks through the Freudian consensus that has developed over the past century when it comes to behavior to a new paradigm .All in all a great reader for the specialist and the layman alike!
June 23, 2018
Am început să citesc cartea în 2017 și fiindcă am început să fac masteratul am lăsat cartea undeva pe raft. Așa că am dat iarăși de ea și deja de data asta nu am putut să nu o termin de citit. Este carte uimitoare și am avut impresia că eram și eu de față la discuția cu Sanctitatea Sa Dalai Lama. Aam avut multe de învățat și urmează să învăț din recomandările de cărți făcute autor. Recomand cu toată inima să citiți și să înțelegeți cel puțin cît de multe emoții distructive ne invadează mintea!!!
March 3, 2017
This book was perspective-changing for me. I came across this book when I was in a state of hurt and uncertainty. The combination of Western science and Eastern philosophy, and how to apply both to our lives, was incredibly engaging. If more people read this book, I think a lot of lives would be changed.
February 12, 2024
This book is the summary of a conversation between a large group of people over five days. As such, it meanders a bit. I think because Goleman is a collaborator with many of the people involved in the discussion, he feels like he has to present them in a good light, introduce them in detail etc. This book could have done with a few less "and then Alan, with his expertise in blah-blah chimed in usefully".
In fact, they come back to the same subject a few times, and appear to contradict each other. I think the book might have been better grouped thematically. They keep coming back to: (1) positive emotions as a protection against negative emotions, (2) can "destructive emotions" be appropriate or adaptive in some situations, (3) brain plasticity, (4) individual/cultural differences vs universality.
There will be diamonds in the rough for most people, as these people are experts, so you might learn a bit about Buddhism, neuroscience or psychology. If like me, you've read a bit of all three, there is not so much that is earth shattering.
The Mind and Body series, where the Dalai Lama meets scientists from the "West" is a good idea, and this is the one that interested me the most. This one was quite an academic way to come at negative emotions, and I wonder if a group of social scientists, social workers etc. discussing it in the same context would give a different angle.
In fact, they come back to the same subject a few times, and appear to contradict each other. I think the book might have been better grouped thematically. They keep coming back to: (1) positive emotions as a protection against negative emotions, (2) can "destructive emotions" be appropriate or adaptive in some situations, (3) brain plasticity, (4) individual/cultural differences vs universality.
There will be diamonds in the rough for most people, as these people are experts, so you might learn a bit about Buddhism, neuroscience or psychology. If like me, you've read a bit of all three, there is not so much that is earth shattering.
The Mind and Body series, where the Dalai Lama meets scientists from the "West" is a good idea, and this is the one that interested me the most. This one was quite an academic way to come at negative emotions, and I wonder if a group of social scientists, social workers etc. discussing it in the same context would give a different angle.
October 21, 2018
Creo que es un libro complementario al libro de inteligencia emocional que profundiza en las emociones que vivimos día a día, pero que la forma de combatir las es exactamente igual que la clave que da el libro de inteligencia emocional.
September 17, 2020
Definitely one of my favorite books. Besides being very informative on emotions, it is a great example of religion and science working together towards a common goal.
I enjoyed every part of the discussions.
I enjoyed every part of the discussions.
February 12, 2024
Pree good 👍
Honestly nothing like crazy or really new or life changing, but beautiful to see such a thoughtful and supportive conversation between science and spirituality, navigating the ways that the secular and religious, and different methods of investigating “truth”, can be peaceably reconciled and mutually supportive.
Just kinda transcripts and a big conversation over several days between the Dalai Lama and some other monks, some neuroscientists, biologists, philosophers, psychologists. Discussing psychology, mental frameworks, perception, communication, childhood development, neuroplasticity, spirituality, emotions, etc.
Honestly nothing like crazy or really new or life changing, but beautiful to see such a thoughtful and supportive conversation between science and spirituality, navigating the ways that the secular and religious, and different methods of investigating “truth”, can be peaceably reconciled and mutually supportive.
Just kinda transcripts and a big conversation over several days between the Dalai Lama and some other monks, some neuroscientists, biologists, philosophers, psychologists. Discussing psychology, mental frameworks, perception, communication, childhood development, neuroplasticity, spirituality, emotions, etc.
May 30, 2024
Це стенограма діалогів Інституту розуму і життя із коментарями. Цікаво почитати короткі біографії, факти, які раніше не знав. Ну і загалом у ретроспективі побачити, як далеко від 2003 року розвивалися дотичні теми.
September 18, 2022
un ottimo confronto fra diverse culture.
un buon spunto di riflessione indipendentemente dal proprio credo
un buon spunto di riflessione indipendentemente dal proprio credo
October 6, 2020
By now, this book is twenty years old, so some of its core ideas have since seeped into mainstream psychology and do not look as radical today as they must have back then. Social-emotional learning is a well-known idea, even if implementation is slow; putting experienced meditators, monks etc. into brain MRTs to see the changes in their brain function as they meditate or pray is not an esoteric idea anymore; and practices like mindfulness are considered fairly standard fare in modern psychological treatment.
This change is at least in part due to the efforts of the participants of the Mind and Life symposiums who worked to bring Buddhist practices and ideas into the view of Western psychology and validating these ideas and the efficacy of these practices under modern scientific scrutiny. in "Destructive Emotions," some of the most respected contemporary psychologists and neuroscientists work with the Dalai Lama and a delegation of Buddhist monks and philosophers to answer one core question: How can the methods of either of these schools of thought be employed to resolve destructive emotions in people all over the world--emotions which lead to bad mental health, interpersonal conflict, bigotry, and even violence. It's a true dialogue, and thus makes for an extremely interesting read.
If I have one criticism about this book, it is in the overall form. Daniel Goleman (the inventor of the idea of emotional intelligence) chose to structure it as a fairly close retelling of the symposium, sometimes slipping into a descriptive prose that has nothing to do with ideas or science and instead describes the weather or certain people's facial expressions. There is also an entire chapter that is simply a biography / glowing endorsement of the Dalai Lama, which seems out of place.
However, this is not enough reason for me not to consider this a five-star-book. The overview of two different, yet often surprisingly similar understandings of the human mind and two philosophies of emotion makes for a fascinating read.
This change is at least in part due to the efforts of the participants of the Mind and Life symposiums who worked to bring Buddhist practices and ideas into the view of Western psychology and validating these ideas and the efficacy of these practices under modern scientific scrutiny. in "Destructive Emotions," some of the most respected contemporary psychologists and neuroscientists work with the Dalai Lama and a delegation of Buddhist monks and philosophers to answer one core question: How can the methods of either of these schools of thought be employed to resolve destructive emotions in people all over the world--emotions which lead to bad mental health, interpersonal conflict, bigotry, and even violence. It's a true dialogue, and thus makes for an extremely interesting read.
If I have one criticism about this book, it is in the overall form. Daniel Goleman (the inventor of the idea of emotional intelligence) chose to structure it as a fairly close retelling of the symposium, sometimes slipping into a descriptive prose that has nothing to do with ideas or science and instead describes the weather or certain people's facial expressions. There is also an entire chapter that is simply a biography / glowing endorsement of the Dalai Lama, which seems out of place.
However, this is not enough reason for me not to consider this a five-star-book. The overview of two different, yet often surprisingly similar understandings of the human mind and two philosophies of emotion makes for a fascinating read.
Read
July 2, 2012Perhaps one of the most important books I have ever read. I am quite impressed with the Dalai Lama and his interest in science. Specially in the area of Mental Health where western psychology is failing the citizens by ignoring the science they should be knowing. The Dalai Lama is not only interested in rational thinking, but in the quantitative empirical research which provides answers to important questions. I too am impress with this religious leader's statement indicating that when compleling and conclusive science evidence conflict with religios dogma, religion ought to give way to science. Religious people and the population as a whole is suspetious and criticizes science, yet it is clear in their arguments that they bearly have any understanding of what they are critizing. You most undestand science before you can critizice it intelligently. Science have its errors, but good honest and ethical science is the best way we have to reach and be in the process of finding truths. The Dalai Lama interest in neuroscience and mental health is impressive. Substance Abuse treatment talks about "spirituality", but it fails to provide the necessary spirit guidence for people to grow. Their confrontational and punitive fashion is profoundly confused and their poor outcome is prove of its failing. MENTAL HEALTH TREATMENT IS NOT ABOUT TEACHING PEOPLE WHAT TO THINK, THE REAL HONEST ETHICAL TREATMENT IS TEACHING PEOPLE HOW TO THINK. Substance Abuse treatment based on the 12 Step is failing the majority of it's patients. It is incompetent to produce substantial amount of outcome. When all fails it always have the patient to blame it on. Substance Abuse treatment is great example of treatment failure. The Mind Life Institute series is nothing to miss. It is highly recomended. Our citizens in the United States are scientifically illiterate, and I think it is about time that we start reading more science/
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 6, 2007
Como pocos libros teóricos, Emociones Destructivas tiene la facultad de evocar emociones profundas de afecto y admiración por seres humanos visionarios en el sentido más profundo de lo que necesitamos en estos tiempos. Comprender las emociones como parte de la mente, y la mente como algo más que una máquina de procesamiento de información. Es un diálogo entre científicos experimentales y sabios del budismo tibetano, que incluye sorprendentes experimentos de primera línea científica, que debiera ser conocido por todas las personas que trabajan en el desarrollo de las personas, en los colegios, universidades, pero también al interior de las empresas. Este libro marcó mi manera de entender mi trabajo y mis relaciones con las personas.
July 19, 2008
Fascinating! While it was a long read (because I kept re-reading), it was worth every minute. This book is the account of the eighth Mind and Life meeting, held March of 2000 in Dharamsala, India.
While reading, I actually felt as if I were sitting amongst the renowned scientist, monks and philosophers. This conference combines ancient Buddhist wisdom and breakthroughs in a variety of fields of scientific study (neuroscience to child development). The relevant discoveries illustrate how we can recognize and transform emotions that pose threats to us as individuals and our collective fate. To say the least, I found this book an intellectual feast of dialogue.
While reading, I actually felt as if I were sitting amongst the renowned scientist, monks and philosophers. This conference combines ancient Buddhist wisdom and breakthroughs in a variety of fields of scientific study (neuroscience to child development). The relevant discoveries illustrate how we can recognize and transform emotions that pose threats to us as individuals and our collective fate. To say the least, I found this book an intellectual feast of dialogue.
October 22, 2015
I *loved* how this potted summary of the conference afforded the narrative a relaxed feel.
It was so much fun hearing the way each of these luminaries would interject with their two cents when the conversation would turn to points of cultural difference.
The extended treatment of the three poisons and their twenty derivatives was the best I've come across.
Just so many subtle moments in this book where he smallest of distinctions opened whole new possibilities for how I conceive of the role emotions play in experience, and especially the destructive activity of very subtle 'negative' emotionality.
Top shelf read, cover to cover.
It was so much fun hearing the way each of these luminaries would interject with their two cents when the conversation would turn to points of cultural difference.
The extended treatment of the three poisons and their twenty derivatives was the best I've come across.
Just so many subtle moments in this book where he smallest of distinctions opened whole new possibilities for how I conceive of the role emotions play in experience, and especially the destructive activity of very subtle 'negative' emotionality.
Top shelf read, cover to cover.
June 26, 2016
Cartea ofera o perspectiva diferita asupra budismului, budismul fiind schitat ca un stil de viata, si nu ca o religie. Se doreste a se scoate in evidenta atat asemanarile dintre culturi in ceea ce priveste emotiile, cat si diferentele culturale. In final, mesajul de tinut minte este ca atat de ravnita schimbare a unor temperamente dificile, care ne umbresc viata, este posibila, sustinuta fiind de neurologia actuala care a dovedit existenta neuroplasticitatii. Merita cele 5 stele si doar pentru starea de bine pe care o ofera lectura acestei carti.
January 19, 2009
This record of conversations between the Dalai Lama, Buddhist scholars and American & European psychologists and neuroscientists was absolutely delightful. There were big, complicated ideas discussed, but explained! This book gave me a lot to think about, (like the idea that anger isn't necessarily something innate we can't get rid of). Hmmmmm.
October 23, 2009
Everything I love, spirituality, psychology, neurology.
October 2, 2012
Un libro da leggere, sicuramente, e che soprattutto fa bene leggere.
August 18, 2020
Thank you Goleman for giving me a whole scene of intellectual exchange of Year 2000 Mind and Life. I would highly recommend it if any one who have doubt about emotional life, an inner world.
November 23, 2018
The book is largely a transcript of a multi-day meeting between Buddhists and brain scientists, and one of the big topics in the book is how to teach children "emotional and social intelligence"; that includes things like recognizing and coping with your own negative emotions, learning to recognize emotions in others, and learning to calm down and not react violently in response to negative emotions that arise. I was really impressed that he and the brain scientists agreed that it was necessary to find a secular way of presenting the information. How many evangelistic Christians would be so enthusiastic about turning the precepts of their religion into something secular to make it more widely accepted and applicable?
One highlight:
Typically, therapists who work with people who have explosive anger issues try to lengthen the time between when the person gets angry and when they act on that anger (i.e. "Take a deep breath and count to ten."). In Buddhist psychology, they believe in trying to catch the anger even earlier, and learning to notice the thought processes that lead up to the feeling of anger. Say a man is in line and someone cuts in front of him. He begins to think, "That's not fair. That person is a jerk." Then he gets angry. Then he is tempted to push the person or say something nasty. Traditional therapy would tell the man to breathe deep, count to ten, and not take action until he'd calmed down. The Buddhist approach is to try to catch yourself earlier, while you're in the "unfair" part of the thought process, and re-frame. "Maybe he didn't see me. Anyway, it's no big deal, and nothing worth losing my cool over." That way, you might even be able to stop yourself from getting really angry, much less acting on it.
One highlight:
Typically, therapists who work with people who have explosive anger issues try to lengthen the time between when the person gets angry and when they act on that anger (i.e. "Take a deep breath and count to ten."). In Buddhist psychology, they believe in trying to catch the anger even earlier, and learning to notice the thought processes that lead up to the feeling of anger. Say a man is in line and someone cuts in front of him. He begins to think, "That's not fair. That person is a jerk." Then he gets angry. Then he is tempted to push the person or say something nasty. Traditional therapy would tell the man to breathe deep, count to ten, and not take action until he'd calmed down. The Buddhist approach is to try to catch yourself earlier, while you're in the "unfair" part of the thought process, and re-frame. "Maybe he didn't see me. Anyway, it's no big deal, and nothing worth losing my cool over." That way, you might even be able to stop yourself from getting really angry, much less acting on it.
January 18, 2021
Summary:
A fascinating dialogue between the Dalai Lama, other spiritual people and meditators and a number of scientists. The book manages to make some scientific and esoteric information quite accessible, but it's still very dense regardless. However, the information packed within is so valuable for human consciousness and provides great insights positive and negative emotions and how we might better live with them. There's some very powerful themes touched on within the book such as compassion to all living beings, cultivating compassion and emotional awareness in children through the educational system and overall addressing mentally ill health. I particularly enjoyed the initial juxtaposition between Western science and eastern spirituality as it became more and more apparent throughout the dialogue that they are both entwined. For example, using the scientific method, some of the researchers in the book were able to observe and quantify the neurological changes undertaken by practiced meditators. Similarly, the spiritual teaching described by the Dalai Lama provided explanations and a better understanding of numerous studies and scientific concepts within the discussion. All in all, it's a very valuable read that I strongly recommend, it's just not the accessible book due to its subject matter. Worth reading a little each day and digesting it slowly.
I would recommend this book to anyone interested in happiness.
The main message I took from this book is the strong dualism between Western science and Eastern spirituality. The two aren't as different as some would have us believe and there are lots of linkages to leverage.
Some notable points:
- The Buddhist tradition has long pointed out that recognising and transforming destructive emotions lies at the heart of spiritual practice - indeed, some hold that whatever lessens destructive emotions is spiritual practice.
- A person doing a meditation on compassion for all beings is the immediate beneficiary. This has been demonstrated through an increase in key electrical activity known as gamma in the left middle frontal gyrus. This part of the brain is associated with positive emotions.
- You may feel you hate yourself because you want to be so much better than you are. You may be disappointed in yourself for not being what you want to be, or impatient for not becoming so fast enough. Self-loathing actually includes a lot of attachment to the ego. Even someone who commits suicide does so not out of self-hatred but because of thinking that it's a way of escaping a greater suffering. One is not escaping anything, because death is just a transition to another state of existence. So it would be better to try to avid the suffering either by endeavouring to solve the problem in the here and now or, when that is not possible, by changing one's attitude toward this same problem.
- Is anger like an army commander, like a burning fire, like a heavy stone? Does it carry a weapon in its hand? Is it somewhere we can find, in the chest, the heart, the head? Does it have any shape or colour? Of course ones does not expect to find someone thrusting a spear into one's stomach. Yet that's how we conceive of anger, as something very strong and compelling. However, the more you look at anger, the more it disappears beneath one's very eyes, like the frost melting under the morning sun. When one genuinely looks at it, it suddenly loses its strength. One discovers as well that anger was not what one had originally thought. It is a collection of different events. There is, for instance, an aspect of clarity, of brilliance, that is at the very core of anger and is not yet malevolent. Indeed, at the very source of destructive emotions there is something that is not yet harmful.
- On average, American teenagers have seen forty thousand killings on TV by the time they are twenty. These may be cartoon or magical killings where they simply survive or come back to life or killings with permanent consequences.
- Some primates can be aware of how they feel and may be able to anticipate emotional events and suffer in advance of the pain. This raises the issues of afflicted intelligence. Clearly we can induce fear using our intelligence by pondering, by anticipation, and so forth. The extent to which animals also can arouse emotions such as fear through cogitation is something of concern. It is probably possible in principle, but rather marginal compared to the extent to which human beings do it. However, it is also of concern that we may underestimate what happens in other animals. It is so convenient to underestimate.
- One of the reasons we have so much difficulty once we become emotional is that the emotion itself enslaves us. There is what is called a refractory period, in which new information doesn't enter or, if it does, our interpretation is biased and we only regard the world in a way that supports the emotion we are feeling. The refractory period may be only a few seconds or it may be much longer. As long as it is occurring we can't get out of the grip of that emotion. That doesn't mean we have to act on it, but it is still seizing us. When the refractory period ends, the emotion can end.
- In both depression and posttraumatic stress disorder it has been found that the hippocampus actually shrinks. That can be measured objectively. But there are new findings within the last year indicating that when depression is treated with antidepressant medication, it prevents the atrophy of the hippocampus that typically occurs if the depression goes untreated.
- One way we can develop empathy is to start with small sentient beings like ants and insects. Really attend to them and recognise that they too wish t find happiness, experience pleasure, and be free of pain. Start there, with insects, and really empathise with them, and then go on to reptiles and so forth. Other human beings and yourself will all follow. On the other hand, if you murder little insects and dismiss any possibility of their wanting pleasure and avoiding pain, then when you come to animals that are more and more like us, it's easy to dismiss them. Even if a dog is wounded and it yelps, you don't experience the pain. Since you've already gotten into the mode of disregarding the pleasure and pain of an insect, now it's easier to disregard a bird, a dog, and even another person who cries out. With the attitude 'I don't feel it,' you dismiss that pain. You would never feel the empathy until it actually hits your own skin. If you have greater sensitivity to the pain and suffering of animals then all the more you will have a greater sensitivity and empathy toward other human beings.
A fascinating dialogue between the Dalai Lama, other spiritual people and meditators and a number of scientists. The book manages to make some scientific and esoteric information quite accessible, but it's still very dense regardless. However, the information packed within is so valuable for human consciousness and provides great insights positive and negative emotions and how we might better live with them. There's some very powerful themes touched on within the book such as compassion to all living beings, cultivating compassion and emotional awareness in children through the educational system and overall addressing mentally ill health. I particularly enjoyed the initial juxtaposition between Western science and eastern spirituality as it became more and more apparent throughout the dialogue that they are both entwined. For example, using the scientific method, some of the researchers in the book were able to observe and quantify the neurological changes undertaken by practiced meditators. Similarly, the spiritual teaching described by the Dalai Lama provided explanations and a better understanding of numerous studies and scientific concepts within the discussion. All in all, it's a very valuable read that I strongly recommend, it's just not the accessible book due to its subject matter. Worth reading a little each day and digesting it slowly.
I would recommend this book to anyone interested in happiness.
The main message I took from this book is the strong dualism between Western science and Eastern spirituality. The two aren't as different as some would have us believe and there are lots of linkages to leverage.
Some notable points:
- The Buddhist tradition has long pointed out that recognising and transforming destructive emotions lies at the heart of spiritual practice - indeed, some hold that whatever lessens destructive emotions is spiritual practice.
- A person doing a meditation on compassion for all beings is the immediate beneficiary. This has been demonstrated through an increase in key electrical activity known as gamma in the left middle frontal gyrus. This part of the brain is associated with positive emotions.
- You may feel you hate yourself because you want to be so much better than you are. You may be disappointed in yourself for not being what you want to be, or impatient for not becoming so fast enough. Self-loathing actually includes a lot of attachment to the ego. Even someone who commits suicide does so not out of self-hatred but because of thinking that it's a way of escaping a greater suffering. One is not escaping anything, because death is just a transition to another state of existence. So it would be better to try to avid the suffering either by endeavouring to solve the problem in the here and now or, when that is not possible, by changing one's attitude toward this same problem.
- Is anger like an army commander, like a burning fire, like a heavy stone? Does it carry a weapon in its hand? Is it somewhere we can find, in the chest, the heart, the head? Does it have any shape or colour? Of course ones does not expect to find someone thrusting a spear into one's stomach. Yet that's how we conceive of anger, as something very strong and compelling. However, the more you look at anger, the more it disappears beneath one's very eyes, like the frost melting under the morning sun. When one genuinely looks at it, it suddenly loses its strength. One discovers as well that anger was not what one had originally thought. It is a collection of different events. There is, for instance, an aspect of clarity, of brilliance, that is at the very core of anger and is not yet malevolent. Indeed, at the very source of destructive emotions there is something that is not yet harmful.
- On average, American teenagers have seen forty thousand killings on TV by the time they are twenty. These may be cartoon or magical killings where they simply survive or come back to life or killings with permanent consequences.
- Some primates can be aware of how they feel and may be able to anticipate emotional events and suffer in advance of the pain. This raises the issues of afflicted intelligence. Clearly we can induce fear using our intelligence by pondering, by anticipation, and so forth. The extent to which animals also can arouse emotions such as fear through cogitation is something of concern. It is probably possible in principle, but rather marginal compared to the extent to which human beings do it. However, it is also of concern that we may underestimate what happens in other animals. It is so convenient to underestimate.
- One of the reasons we have so much difficulty once we become emotional is that the emotion itself enslaves us. There is what is called a refractory period, in which new information doesn't enter or, if it does, our interpretation is biased and we only regard the world in a way that supports the emotion we are feeling. The refractory period may be only a few seconds or it may be much longer. As long as it is occurring we can't get out of the grip of that emotion. That doesn't mean we have to act on it, but it is still seizing us. When the refractory period ends, the emotion can end.
- In both depression and posttraumatic stress disorder it has been found that the hippocampus actually shrinks. That can be measured objectively. But there are new findings within the last year indicating that when depression is treated with antidepressant medication, it prevents the atrophy of the hippocampus that typically occurs if the depression goes untreated.
- One way we can develop empathy is to start with small sentient beings like ants and insects. Really attend to them and recognise that they too wish t find happiness, experience pleasure, and be free of pain. Start there, with insects, and really empathise with them, and then go on to reptiles and so forth. Other human beings and yourself will all follow. On the other hand, if you murder little insects and dismiss any possibility of their wanting pleasure and avoiding pain, then when you come to animals that are more and more like us, it's easy to dismiss them. Even if a dog is wounded and it yelps, you don't experience the pain. Since you've already gotten into the mode of disregarding the pleasure and pain of an insect, now it's easier to disregard a bird, a dog, and even another person who cries out. With the attitude 'I don't feel it,' you dismiss that pain. You would never feel the empathy until it actually hits your own skin. If you have greater sensitivity to the pain and suffering of animals then all the more you will have a greater sensitivity and empathy toward other human beings.
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