Jump to ratings and reviews
Rate this book

Kill the Spider

Rate this book
Are you tired of trying to live for Christ—only to fail time and time again with the same old behaviors? Do you pray for guidance, ask for deliverance, and vow to do better, yet fail to progress?

As an author, speaker, pastor, and blogger at Ragamuffin Soul, Carlos has lived much of his spiritual life in the spotlight. But, like any Christian, his faith story has its ups and downs. He spent decades trying to figure out how to be a “better person.” Time and time again, he strived for holiness only to get caught in the web of destructive habits, behaviors, and thought patterns.

But, the buck stops here. Or, rather, the spider is killed here.

In Kill the Spider, Carlos shares personal material ranging from hilarious, self-deprecating stories to passion-filled wisdom—to show others it’s not enough to try and “stop sinning.” He teaches that knocking out deep-rooted habits and issues comes by treating the issue, not just the symptoms.

In Kill the Spider, Carlos shares personal material ranging from hilarious, self-deprecating stories to passion-filled wisdom—to show others it’s not enough to try and “stop sinning.” He teaches that knocking out deep-rooted habits and issues comes by treating the issue, not just the symptoms.

208 pages, Paperback

First published August 11, 2015

296 people are currently reading
1612 people want to read

About the author

Carlos Whittaker

11 books338 followers
Carlos Whittaker is a best-selling author and expert storyteller to all kinds of audiences– from parents to corporate America to the non-profit sector. No matter who you are, his message is for you.

Carlos uses his vast and varied personal life experience to captivate and engage audiences in ways that few else can.

In his books, How to Human, Enter Wild, Moment Maker, and Kill the Spider, Carlos reminds us that when we are connected to God and good to ourselves, we can be even better for others. Humans do not exist in a vacuum, so when we address every facet of our lives, we create a greater capacity for relationships, ministry, work, creativity, and patience.

Carlos excels at encouraging people to to show up for their neighbor, regardless of who they are and what they believe. Join Carlos and countless others in the pursuit of being human together.

He and his wife Heather live in Nashville, Tennessee, with their three amazing children, where you can find them working on the family farm, planning trips around the world, and preparing to be empty-nesters.

Ratings & Reviews

What do you think?
Rate this book

Friends & Following

Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!

Community Reviews

5 stars
857 (48%)
4 stars
623 (34%)
3 stars
262 (14%)
2 stars
30 (1%)
1 star
10 (<1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 175 reviews
Profile Image for Jessica.
814 reviews2 followers
January 21, 2018
I liked this book fine enough, but I think It oversimplifies really difficult and hard issues. Carlos talks about the years of therapy he’s been through and then this intense five eat therapy experience but then talks like this book is going to help people kill their spiders. What’s here is decent for some but I think not very helpful for people dealing with deep struggles.
Profile Image for Cindy Coats.
309 reviews6 followers
November 21, 2017
This book has disrupted my life and has begun reshaping my foundation. Highly recommend. But be prepared because this book has the potential to change your heart if you are willing.
Profile Image for A.M. Revere.
Author 1 book25 followers
March 1, 2021
My favorite book of all time! Carlos Whittaker is a great speaker, and a hilarious and all at the same time inspirational author. Don't delay! Read this book! You'll never regret it or forget it! :)
164 reviews
February 12, 2018
The lesson was very good and so important. I appreciated the discussion questions provided. He is a better speaker than writer. Sometimes the writing distracted from the message, but overall was good.
Profile Image for Mark Higley.
22 reviews1 follower
March 26, 2019
Stop dealing with the results of problematic issues in your life and start dealing with the causes of those issues. Who couldn't benefit from reading this book?
Profile Image for Sara Dangerfield.
Author 1 book10 followers
September 4, 2020
Loved the story. Loved the application. Loved that he didn’t candy coat what it looks like to find your spider and kill it. Loved that he was raw with his story, and openly honest.
21 reviews
Read
February 3, 2019
This is a pretty good book overall. I had different expectations from what I thought it would be, so I will elaborate on what I thought and now think.

I was hoping that this book would be good for small group discussion and after reflection I think that it is, so long as you are going through it with the right person. This book does not seem to me to be geared towards the person who is aware they have a problem and need to know how to fix it. Instead, this book seems to me to be geared towards people who recognize that their life is a wreck but they don't know why, they cannot vocalize potential causes, they aren't sure how they should feel about their situation, etc.

Some people might be disappointed the the discussion prompts at the end of each chapter aren't "step-by-step" instructions or that they lack Biblical support at times. I feel that this format is helpful for those who are are completely lost and have no vocabulary to rationalize their cause and effect. The prompts are perfectly geared to get people to think about their problem and then be interested and hopeful enough to attempt solutions which can be formulated at a later date.

In summary, If I had problems and recognized that and wanted practical therapy, then this book is not for me. If I'm lost, frightened, or have my life on the brink of collapse and I don't know how to rationalize my emotions or my thoughts on the matter to get real help, this book is the BEST first step into the right direction.

Profile Image for Dani.
392 reviews6 followers
March 28, 2021
I have put off reading this book. Not sure why... of course I know why. I have spiders to identify and kill. This is a book written of one man’s experience and how that translates to us. Real, raw and practical.
Profile Image for Sam Nichols.
20 reviews1 follower
December 1, 2019
Great book great book for those of us who deal with anxiety 👍🏽
Profile Image for Josh Samarco.
63 reviews
January 12, 2020
I appreciate how Carlos was vulnerable enough to share his story and counseling experienced. I connected with a lot of his journey. Going through counseling the past two years, there was an obvious connection that helped me explore and remember the hard work we are called to do. Facing our spiders isn't easy but it's so worth it.
Profile Image for Katie Axelson.
Author 2 books4 followers
April 10, 2021
This was a good book if you’re looking for mental or emotional health breakthrough. I will definitely be referencing it again when I get stuck. I would have liked more scripture unpacked amidst the stories but that was part of the point and the content was good.
8 reviews14 followers
March 27, 2018
Theologically thin but psychologically rich. Think of it as a memoir win some universal applications. A quick read.
Profile Image for Anthony A.
268 reviews4 followers
September 29, 2018
This book is a very interesting look at one man's struggle, by way of a retreat, to discover his underlying issue (which he terms a "spider") and eliminate it from his life. A great story and some amount of advice for discovering one's own "spider."
Profile Image for Angela Barton.
52 reviews2 followers
March 12, 2020
I really appreciated this book. This isn’t what I would call a self help/how to book. It was encouraging and the author encourages us find the roots of our own anxieties and to work on those. I resonated with this book. I might read it for a second time! Quick and easy read yet with heavy material
Profile Image for Sam Retherford.
30 reviews3 followers
January 16, 2023
I knew I was going to like it when the two recommendations on the back were from Jon Acuff and Donald Miller
Profile Image for Selina.
55 reviews3 followers
August 25, 2022
As much as I would like to say that the book is impactful, I find it lacking in establishing a connection between the author's own experiences and myself as the reader. At various points, I felt that the main point was not effectively communicated because information was withheld. Perhaps some parts are supposed to be personal and deemed unnecessary, and the "spiders" manifests in different ways for different people. Nevertheless, I did have a moment when my own "spider" was revealed to me.
Profile Image for Elisha.
211 reviews1 follower
June 18, 2019
I'm not quite sure how to write a review of this book. Carlos shares his journey of identifying and then "killing" the "spiders" (lies) in his life that he has believed. His writing is very easy to read but the content of this is heavy. He makes it feel like he's walking right along with you as you face the lies you've come to believe in your own life. This was one of the hardest (because of the introspection) but most helpful books I've read in awhile...while hard it gives hope and tools to allow you to face and overcome your own spiders that need to be killed.
Profile Image for Rachel | All the RAD Reads.
1,254 reviews1,324 followers
November 21, 2017
I first heard about Carlos at Yellow Conference a few years ago, and I instantly loved his message and presence. I recently got to sit down with him in Nashville and do some video interviews (my job is the coolest) and he talked a lot about this book— you guys, it is SO good. The title comes from a story about a woman repeating praying that God would clear the cobwebs from her life... when really, what she needed to do is kill the spider. This book tackles the hard stuff and gets right to the heart of the matter— our behaviors, our sin, our anxieties, they come from a deeper place, and we have to be willing to go there and uncover them and do the hard work to truly kill the spiders and stop new cobwebs from cropping up. This book is super well-written, bold, helpful, and life-changing. Loved every word.
Profile Image for Ceeferg.
61 reviews3 followers
July 13, 2023
Easy to read, inspirational. I know Carlos Whitaker from following his social media presence (not personally, I just know of him), and my expectations from this book upon picking it up were that he would present reflective wisdom in a light-hearted and thoughtful way. I was not disappointed.
The chapters read quickly, they were focused and succinct, and each time I set the book down, upon completing a chapter, I felt I had gained a helpful strategy for killing any metaphorical spiders in my own life.
Profile Image for Lori.
193 reviews6 followers
January 3, 2018
Last night many people were waiting until midnight to ring in the new year. I was devouring this book like a camel to water and I finished it the first day of the new year. This is how I ended 2017 and began 2018.

I have followed Carlos Whittaker loosely many years, only kind of kept up via Instagram etc. I did not want to read his book (heck I HATE spiders and he put the word in the title!!)and we have some differing opinions on certain things, but on a whole enjoyed past messages. As I was searching Amazon for books to read, the Lord kept bringing this book to mind. I actually could not remember the title, only that it has the word "spider" in it. (Carlos, do you know what scary pictures come up when you search "spiders" on Amazon!! So you have to know the Lord was leading me to this book). Remember I said I had in the past already decided I did not want to read it; I thought it would be another book from an "Internet" Pastor/Musician that tells us how great his life is and how you can be great too.

I was wrong. Soo wrong....

This book grabbed me and I could not put it down. I am still processing and unpacking things mentally/spiritually. I personally would never go to an OnSite 7-day retreat, but I am thankful for Los sharing his experience and journey. My word for 2018 is Wisdom and maybe this is why it was a great book to ring in the new year, may the Lord lead me in wisdom as I clear the cobwebs to find the spiders.

Carlos talks about cleaning cobwebs in our life, "Cobwebs aren't necessarily major moral failings or criminal activity, just something that keeps you in turmoil and distanced from God." But that is not enough, you need to do some cobweb cleaning so you can find the spider to kill. You have to kill the spider, the producer of all the cobwebs.

Carlos explanation on anxiety and depression was spot on for me. He put into words what I could never articulate. I want to copy that paragraph and say ---> this...this puts into words what depression and anxiety feel like for me when I am going through it.

A favorite quote: "Trials reveal foundations; they aren't the ideal time to build them."

This was a great book to read at the beginning of 2018.
Profile Image for Troy Kramer.
49 reviews13 followers
March 19, 2021
Having moved to Australia, I was initially drawn to the title due to my own series of unfortunate incidents with spiders in Australia (seriously, this place is INFESTED with them, and not even my car door handles are safe!). That said, it has little to do with actual spiders, and there are no flamethrowers involved either.

Instead, it is a story about a psychological retreat for the author, and how that retreat challenged a lot of his issues ~ both with his faith and in his personal life.

Overall, it was a relatively easy read, with a central message being that in order to fix something / move past a trauma / etc, you need to confront it directly, instead of just fixing all the surrounding issues (the spiderwebs). I think the message was actually on point, but at the end of the book felt a bit let down, because I am not sure that the author actually ever addressed his many spiders (was he abused?), and it gave me a sense that some of the faith challenges were not (did he come to peace with his situation? does he think he's being honest with himself and the reader?)... I'm not quite sure how to word this... authentic? It reminded me of the MacBeth quote regarding a lot of sound a fury, signifying nothing (though I would not call the author an idiot, I do question his actual sincerity on a fundamental level).

I would recommend the book only because it does briefly touch on some ideas and concepts that can really help people, but would also caution that it is not as good as it could have been, and the end is quite unsatisfying and far too open ended.
Profile Image for Alessandra.
405 reviews14 followers
February 27, 2019
I don’t even know how to describe this book except life changing. Right when I got this book, I was really struggling with these ideas that God didn’t really love me, it was all a hoax that I had tricked Him into and I was utterly worthless. I felt as though I was being choked by this idea of Jesus that couldn’t be real because His track record with me was so obvious, and He never seemed to hear me or listen to me. I was listening to a podcast and they interviewed Carlos Whittaker and he started to talk about this book ... and by the time the podcast was done this book was Amazon Primed and on its way to my house.

This book was ground breaking for me. It taught me the difference between the cobwebs and the spiders and showed me that I had spent my life cleaning up the cobwebs without ever actually killing the spider (killing the lies). Carlos was so vulnerable and transparent throughout the whole book that it made it even better - it made it relatable. Not someone lecturing at me about how to fix my situation. But a person who had been through it and got through victorious, even if there were some trip ups along the way. This is one of those books that’s going on my “favorites” shelf at my house .. one I will constantly pull out to go back to. I couldn’t recommend this enough!
439 reviews3 followers
February 8, 2018
Another really tricky book to review! I really enjoyed Carlos' personal story, I enjoyed learning about the different ways he found/dealt with his 'spider', I appreciated how the book was linked back to scripture and I appreciated the practical tips throughout. And yet...it still felt kind of 'surface-y', like there was the potential for some real meat in here, but every chapter just kind of left me wanting, just that little bit.

My favourite part was the prayer written out at the end, the prayer he prays every morning. As this is the second time TODAY that I have read a recommendation to pray such a prayer regularly, I'm thinking that this suggestion is from God. I feel like I need to concentrate more on prayer in my life, which can't be a bad thing to get from a book, surely?

All in all, I enjoyed this book, it's a relatively quick read, and I bought it as a Kindle special for a couple of dollars, so it was well worth that. I just felt like there wasn't quite enough to fully sink my teeth into, like eating a diet cheesecake.
Profile Image for Bekah.
19 reviews4 followers
January 31, 2019
I honestly felt a little awkward reading this book because the author was so open and the book chronicled his experiences during an intense therapy retreat in Tennessee. That said, if you can get past that (after all, he tells his stories in a very entertaining way), this book has some good advice for starting to think about lies you believe about yourself or God or other people. I actually got quite emotional reading his story - yup, I really had tears in my eyes in the bookstore - and appreciated the thoughtful questions at the end of each chapter. I also liked how he wove the spider/cobweb theme throughout the book. That was a really neat way to tie it all together. I’m still processing this book, which is a very good thing, and I would definitely recommend it. I read it way too fast, all in one sitting, and I am going to read it again more slowly and work through the questions in each chapter.
Profile Image for Janie Carlson.
7 reviews2 followers
October 17, 2019
What I needed to learn...

I have been struggling with anger for most of my life. I can see where God has been guiding me (when I let Him) throughout my life to deal with the things that have created this anger. When I heard about Carlos Whittaker, it was in an announcement at church on a Sunday morning a couple of weeks ago, I had no idea who he was. I didn’t even know that he was a famous person 😂. I went looking for information on him but didn’t dig too deep. The very next morning, a podcast (Shut the Should Up) that I listen to dropped their episode and Carlos Whittaker was their guest, speaking about killing the spider. I was floored. I immediately went to Audible to download the book because I knew in my heart that I needed to know how to kill the spider that was messing up my relationship with God and with others. I haven’t dealt with the spider yet but after reading/listening to this book I feel prepared to do battle with God as my guide.
Profile Image for Katie.
1,159 reviews25 followers
July 23, 2022
What I read: Kill the Spider by Carlos Whittaker

Why I picked it up: I’ve been thinking of using this analogy in an upcoming presentation, and I wanted the full explanation from the person who I heard it from.

How I read it: On audio in just a few hours. It’s short.

What it’s about: Attacking the root of an issue. Instead of sweeping cobwebs every day, kill the thing making the cobwebs. This is Carlos’ account of learning this from his father and applying it to his life.

What I liked: I appreciated the teaching and his openness in sharing about applying it to his life. I follow Carlos on Instagram and know some of his story, but this was much deeper than any of that and I appreciated that.

What I disliked: I might have liked to know some time frames for things. I know he didn’t conquer this all in a 5 day therapy retreat, but sometimes it felt like he did.

Genre: Self-Help, Christian

Rating & Recommendation: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ and I think it’s worth a listen.
Profile Image for Emily Valentino.
268 reviews2 followers
July 12, 2018
I cannot recommend this book enough! Self help books lay out the 5-step formula to change your ways, and Christian books often inspire but I’m left wondering what to actually do with that, but THIS BOOK. This book, if you follow along with Whitaker’s journey yourself, will change your life. The idea is that trying to strong arm your behavior to change (which can work for a time), is like cleaning the cobwebs without killing the spider. You have to get to “the thing behind the thing.” Or else it will spin a different web elsewhere. Find the root. The unhealthy lie you may or may not already even know you believe. The book is funny, relatable, totally honest, and concludes with how you the reader can also find and kill your spider. Read it.
Profile Image for Hunter Gray.
6 reviews
July 18, 2018
This book is life changing. I saw in another review that it will "disrupt" you. While I agree, I don't think that's a strong enough term. I started and finished this yesterday and I have so many thoughts today I find it hard to put them all together. This book doesn't sugarcoat, it doesn't give you false encouragement or reassurance. This book gets REAL.
If you truly want to search yourself and begin to go deeper as you tear yourself down and replace the pieces that you lost with God's grace and love, this is for you. I didn't even know it but I needed this.

The writing is engaging and interesting. I, too often, start books and get through 2 or 3 chapters only to lose interest and put it down. That was impossible with this book. I couldn't stop reading.
Profile Image for Jen McOwen.
27 reviews2 followers
October 25, 2018
Please read this book.

I say this about a lot of books, that “every Christian needs to read this” so I can understand if saying it about this book also doesn’t hold a whole lot of weight. But honestly, aside from the Bible, this may be the most freeing and abundant-teaching book I’ve read in a long time. And not in a prosperity gospel kind of way, but in a living in the freedom of Jesus’s work on the cross kind of way. And not proclaiming a lack of suffering either, but proclaiming the joy that can come even in the suffering if you’re listening to truth and not lies. Whether you’re feeling pretty good about where you’re at as a Christian or feeling completely lost, please read this book friends. Thank you Carlos for allowing God to speak through this book of yours!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 175 reviews

Can't find what you're looking for?

Get help and learn more about the design.