Love to Eat, Hate to Eat: Breaking the Bondage of Destructive Eating Habits

by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick

More than 80 percent of all Americans have been on a diet at some point in their lives. Low fat, low carb, high protein—you name it—they've tried it. Isn't there a better way to break the cycle in the battle of the bulge? After years of futile dieting, readers know there's more to weight control than what they eat. Having discovered the power that food has over their lives, counselor Elyse Fitzpatrick, author of Overcoming Fear, Worry, and Anxiety , helps God knows everything about us...where we've been and where we're going. Because He knows us so well, He can deeply transform us, giving us the contentment we long for.

Genres: Nonfiction, Christian, Counselling, Health, Christianity, Self Help, Christian Living

264 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1999

About the author

Author of 20+ books on the Christian life and the gospel's impact on everyday living, Elyse is a frequent speaker at women's conferences nationally and internationally.

Elyse's ministry is summed up in these simple words: No fluff, No bricks, just the good news of a crucified and risen Christ.

In 1971 she married her sweetheart Phil and together they raised three children and are enjoying six really adorable grandchildren.

Together they attend Valley Center Community Church in the hills of the North County of San Diego where Phil is an elder.

Reviews

[Lindsay Hall · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this book because I have trouble saying no to sweets. I was really hoping it would help to illuminate what goes on in my spirit when I indulge in emotional eating, and it did. Although I do not have an eating disorder, I greatly benefitted from the way Fitzpatrick broke down how patterns of eating can be sin. The Scripture she used and the common sense she used was really helpful in identifying my own eating patterns that are sinful, and she does a good job of offering practical help for breaking those patterns without prescribing a dieting plan. For those who do have eating disorders, I recommend this book, and for those who don't but who have partiular eating habits they would like to break, I also recommend this book.

[Caroline Rieke · Rating 4 out of 5]

I physically read about half the book last year when I was trying to fight sin in my heart regarding me restricting food and over exercising. This year I finished it up on audio as I continue to fight to kill that same sin in my own heart today!

It was a very biblical book and applied Gods truth and riches to all kinds of disordered eating situations. I did feel like the book is a little more geared towards women struggling with overeating rather than under; HOWEVER, it seems to be THE book that really applies bible truths to a sinful heart that wants to worship self instead of God when it comes to food. I found the acrostic of DISCIPLINED eating helpful, especially C for covet (as I can covet others looks) & I for in-road (in-roads that lead to disordered eating & sin for me like social media, looking in mirrors too long, counting calories, etc.).

Overall, I would recommend it to anyone who struggles to worship God with the ways they eat, think about eating, work out, consider beauty, etc.

[Jennifer Sahlstrom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truly a fantastic, life-changing book. And that's not just merely when it comes to eating. In Love to Eat, Hate to Eat, Elyse Fitzpatrick approaches breaking the bondage of destructive eating habits by delving down into the core of the problems. Reshaping our thoughts and attitudes are a vital part of changing our eating habits and this book largely focuses on how to do that and on how to glorify and love God through the way we think of and treat food.

[Kristin O.]

I accidentally smeared a wee bit of peanut butter on page 67 and guffawed at myself over the irony of it all.

[Fanna · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ahem.

[C.H. Cobb · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent, practical book to help those who struggle with bad eating habits. Fitzpatrick properly but gently identifies the problem as idolatry, and teaches the reader the biblical principles that will enable her to refocus her worship on the true and living God, rather than on food. The book is gospel-focused, not legalistic.

The book provides the complete package: biblical truth to renew the mind, suggested memory verses buttressing the particular principles, and worksheets and practical steps to renew proper eating habits. There are also excellent questions in the back of the book for each chapter to guide individual or group study.

Excellent book, highly recommended. Five stars.

[Jacqui · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is not a good book. Elyse's theology has obviously taken a big turn since she wrote this and I don't recommend this book. Her later work is much better and more comforting. Basically the major error she makes in this book is trying to fix someone's failure at keeping the law with more law. No Gospel comforts to be found here ladies. She sticks the gospel in here and there but there is no connection between it and the law everywhere else in the book and therefore it becomes ineffective at helping the reader to find the solution to their idolatry.

[Mindi · Rating 5 out of 5]

From the title you know the book is all about eating. Well, it is, but it's also about so much more. This helps you determine destructive eating habits and what causes them, even though you desire to be in control. If you truly struggle with food, this book takes the biblical approach to help you understand why food is such a big component of your life. Scriptures are provided throughout the book to help you along the way.

You can really expect to be on the path to change once you begin reading and as chapter one states, there is hope for you. As always, this change will not happen simply by reading this book, you have CLAIM the change and make it happen!

For those who know the difficulties of struggling with weight issues, I think this is journey that can be shared. In some cases, you might prefer to take this spiritual journey alone. I did. I am on the path towards change and I know it! As long as I move forward, I am headed in the right direction.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is written for anyone who has a difficult relationship with food (it is especially relevant for those who struggle with overeating & constant dieting, though it applies to those with clinical eating disorders as well)

The author writes from personal experience with overeating / using food for comfort, pleasure, etc.
While I don't relate to her specific struggles (I struggle with anorexic behavior), the underlying truth and wisdom of this book was still quite relevant to my heart.

Some of the practical applications may or may not be helpful to you, depending on your personal struggles. (I took some of her disciplined eating strategies that are designed for those who overeat and "flipped" them to apply to me) If you are able to take what is helpful & disregard what does not apply to you, then it's a Biblically sound, hopeful resource!

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

There is much good truth in this book, however I must admit that I skimmed over much of it. It got to be a bit "legalistic" for me in that there were too many "rules" to govern the managing of weight. For some people, this is necessary. For me -- it is a danger, because I can get too caught up the outward manipulation of weight and lose sight of God and how He wants to lead me thru His created body signals. A useful resource for those who need those things until they can trust God more, though.

[Sophie Miller · Rating 2 out of 5]

Maybe 2.5 stars because it at least got me thinking more, but something about this did not sit well with me. Maybe it’s just the nature of the conversation, but I felt way more bondage than help after reading this. The gospel was there but the tone of the book was introspective and performance-driven, which is my default disposition, so this served not to help me look to Christ and live but to look to self and feel even worse.

There were a couple solid takeaways, and maybe it would be helpful for others, but it was not my favorite.

[Jeanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is a question of what you feed your desires with? How do you respond to your emotions?

This is not about another diet fab or a how to book. Or even a self-improvement book. There are so many however, none of them get to the heart of the matter. The heart of the matter doesn't always mean overeating. It could mean overspending. It could mean any addiction. The text goes into the triggers of our emotions and desires and redirects them to the word of God.

Using the word DISCIPLINED, your thoughts are challenged and questioned to make better choices. Lasting change only happens when intentional and discipline is the tool that helps us achieve. With anything, I find cheating does not work, commitment does. This is not addressed in the text but for me, it helps me not to take two steps forward and three steps back. Discipline also helps with despair in our failings. The discipline is not about what steps I need to do but who I need to be. In my desires that lead to sin, if desires turn to God's word, my desires become God's. Being in God's word is not a one time your done but it is breathing, it is food, it is life. Seeing God's word that way is one of Elyse Fitzpatrick's greatest strengths in teaching. Highly recommend.


A Special Thank you to Harvest House Publishers and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.

[Alexis Neal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Meaty, convicting, and hard hitting. Not sure whether I will actually have the discipline to put her principles into practice, but her analysis of the issues is spot-on. She keeps the gospel in view at all times and does a good job both challenging and encouraging the reader. The book targets women who struggle with sinful eating habits, but I would recommend this book to anyone--male OR female--who's ever wrestled with bringing any desire under the lordship of Christ.

[Rafaela (dragonsandpaperbacks) · Rating 1 out of 5]

Love to Eat, Hate to Eat claims to want to achieve better eating habits through spirituality and faith.

However, in reality, it gives little actual advice to improve your eating habits, as the majority of this book consists of bible citations and heavy religious discourse.

Frankly, I'm not a religious person at and I thought this was infuriating, ridiculous and outright offensive sometimes. Overall, I found this book to be extremely unhelpful and misleading.

[Janelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

Trigger warning for this book for anyone who has struggled with eating issues.
I'm really torn on this one. I wanted to love it and there were some good principles in it but it felt judgy and I came away feeling less equipped then when I started this book.

[Natalyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thanks NetGalley and Harvest House Publishers for the ARC in exchange for my honest review!

"Love to Eat, Hate to Eat" by Elyse Fitzpatrick tackles the question of what should a Christian girl feel about her body. Fitzpatrick brings faith and God into the conversation of body image and dives into the reasoning behind poor body image. 

Fitzpatrick begins by relating to her audience and I think that is incredibly helpful in giving her credibility. People reading this book are looking for answers and to hear from someone who has been through it can be incredibly helpful. I think this book did lack a little of the practical aspect if you were not reading as a group with leaders and accountability. 

The helpful worksheets and questions seem like excellent tools to use for a group meeting. Fitzpatrick seems like someone who would run an amazing retreat or workshop. There are lots of tools within this book that could be so helpful if put to good use.

Yet, I find this book is a hard read. It identifies struggling with weight as a sin and something that likely just requires self-control. I don't really relate to the topic, but I could see this being offensive to the new believer or person who may feel they need more support than this book thinks is reasonable. 

In the end, I gave this book 3 stars because it requires so much more than a read through to see the full value and change discussed in this book.

[Keri · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ummm okay. So I usually love Elyse Fitzpatrick, and there were a lot of scattered gems throughout this that made me think, convicted me, and inspired me to see righteous eating habits as an important part of living a godly life.

Buuuut I had a few problems along the way and didn't find the delivery always very organized or theologically clear...

She does give the gospel clearly and repeatedly, offer a lot of Scripture, and display a desire to see women freed from the tyranny of disordered eating. I loved her discussion of behavior coming from the heart and taking time to figure out WHY my eating may or may not be healthy / good.

However... I felt like if I followed all her advice, I might just end up more obsessed with whether I was eating right or not? Not all her practical advice was helpful, and some of her Scripture usage felt...misapplied. Which is not something I usually say about her books.

Overall, I might recommend but with a grain of salt. Take the good stuff. Maybe tune out the less than helpful stuff.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my first book by Elyse Fitzpatrick, and I can say she feels like a fast friend. I so appreciate her grace-filled counsel and honest admissions, while sticking to Scripture and sacrificing none of the Bible's truth. I think the thing that most stuck with me is how to frame each day with a desire to please God in everything... eating included. This book isn't a diet plan, it's a guide for surrendering unhealthy patterns and desires to God and relying on His help to change.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've had this book for quite some time but haven't gotten into it until now. It's an easy read and can be completed fairly quickly if you're just reading through it. However, there are questions in the back to go with each chapter as well as a variety of tools like a daily diary for tracking what you eat and other relevant disciplines (like drinking water, exercising, reading your Bible, etc.). There are also charts for evaluating your eating habits against a list of unhealthy motivations (the D-I-S-C-I-P-L-I-N-E-D Eating acrostic) and against the criteria in Philippians 4:8 (whatever is true, honorable, right, etc.). Much time could be spent going through the chapters carefully and referencing them regularly as you apply the teaching.

The author spends a few chapters at the beginning writing about a renewed focus, then moves on to establishing our identity and then finishes with the bulk of the material about "embracing God's methods for change." Along the way she highlights stories and examples from women with whom she has worked and from her own life.

Having a healthy attitude toward eating and exercise has been a struggle for years. A couple different times I was able to lose a lot of weight but I've always gained it back and, looking back, my motivation for losing weight was pretty much a mixed bag of selfish, prideful reasons. I wanted to read this book because I feel convicted about making healthier choices for God's glory (not my own) and I thought it would help me with that goal. It did! I don't really connect with Elyse Fitzpatrick's style of writing (I read her book Idols of the Heart earlier this year and felt the same way). She has good material, but it comes together in kind of choppy, basic sentences that rarely really hit me in any sort of profound way. There were several thoughts that I underlined, though, and you can't really go wrong with just rehearsing the truth that she brings from the Bible. I think she does a good job of sort of compiling and organizing biblical truth into helpful categories and she presents it in an encouraging, loving manner even if it doesn't feel particularly insightful.

I really appreciated her emphasis that the Holy Spirit is "the most effective agent of change in all of creation" and that God wants us to change and glorify Him even more than we do and has devoted all the resources we need to that end. We work with God when we seek to honor him and he is faithful to help us. Her discussion about habits was helpful (that habits help us not spend energy/resources on continuously relearning the same things) and it was encouraging to hear that we shouldn't get impatient with the process because there's nothing more important to be working on at any given time than allowing God to change us. She points out that godly people are those that practice the truth that they received and has some helpful tools for diagnosing idolatries (when are we sinning against God and when are we "sinning" against our own idols and their "laws"). She writes, "Your own thoughts about how to make your life livable will not bring the comfort, peace, or joy you long for." We need to be diligent to conform our thoughts, emotions and behaviors to the truth of God's word. There's also a brief section in the back called "How You Can Know if You're a Christian" in which she outlines the Gospel which I always like seeing.

The book feels a little basic and sort of outdated (although it's hard to pinpoint why it feels that way), but I do think that it has a lot of good teaching and encouragement. I think I'd get the most out of it by reading it with someone else or in a small group that could offer accountability for the things taught. The chapters in Part Three, in particular, about methods of change will be helpful for future reference and I can see myself using some of her charts/diagnostic tools. Overall, it's helpful book for anyone that struggles to balance the physical demands/desires of the body with biblical truth.

[Emmie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started reading this book with a few Sisters from church, and it has been incredibly encouraging. Elyse does an excellent job of bringing home the reality of food and sin for all people. She does speak to eating disorders specifically in one chapter, but as a whole she speaks to the heart of where we are as humans who tend to worship food. She does not mince words, but still speaks in a way that is kind and gracious. It is a very practical book whose principles can be applied to many areas of life, not just food, but also gives direct application in how to battle sin with food. I also greatly appreciate how Biblical this book is. It is filled with Scripture and encourages you to hide God's word in your heart. Elyse does a great job of giving you principles to follow without giving you a five-step program, which doesn't work nor is it how we are instructed in Scripture. There is so much I appreciate about this book.

The biggest downside of this book is the repetitiveness. I really like that she is trying to emphasis truths, but there were several times that the exact same phrase was used multiple times unnecessarily. This would not keep me from recommending this book or from rereading it, it's just a quirk of mine.

This book is also directed at women as it is written by a woman. I feel like men could benefit from this book as well and would recommend it to men and figure out how to read it from whatever sins they struggle with regarding food.

I highly recommend this book and encourage everyone to read it.

4.5 stars for this book

[Ceira · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yes this is a book on food and dieting, but no, it is not a diet book. The Author's focus is not on getting her readers to finally kick that extra weight, or obtain that body that you see advertized all over our culture. She instead addresses the far more important matter of pleasing God and why it is good to give care to the keeping of the temple He has chosen to live in. This book doesn't just make rules of what or how much to eat, but gives guidelines to determine whether or not our hearts are striving after God.
The general theme of seeking to have our hearts right before God, and especially her list of questions to run through when facing whether or not it is good to eat in each circumstance, will be tremendously helpful when applied to other areas of life and the temptations met in each of them.

A marathon runner knows the value of patience-- it's going to take time and effort to get to the finish line. Whenever you discover that you're feeling impatient, just ask yourself what it is that you would rather be doing than running toward your heavenly Father.

I would recommend this book to anyone who struggles with keeping tabs on eating, for those who want to do something to improve their figure, and for fitness nuts who have great and constant control over their weight, just to reassess whether you are having the right motive in the time and attention (either excess or lack thereof) you are giving your body.

[Samantha Ciambro · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was really interested in this book since this is the first time I was reading a book on gluttony and what it means to not overindulge from a biblical perspective. Overall I am glad I read it, as this was something that was never preached growing up and gave me a new perspective. Sadly, I still think parts of the author’s advice are leaning towards legalism and the writing itself was very choppy. At one part in the book it is telling the reader that they shouldn’t make food an idol in their minds, and should find ways to distract ourselves so we can have freedom over food; while the next line is telling the reader a step-by-step lengthy and daily process on how we should mange our diets. I don’t know how one could not become obsessed with the idea of a diet and every thing they are eating if they are being asked to complete all these steps on a daily basis. I’ve read great reviews about the author’s later works and even quoted in various places, so I wonder if the author still has this same perspective on their book or if there is a change in personality. I hope to find another biblical view on healthy living that addresses food idols, that is somewhere middle of the road.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

To be honest, I started this book a while ago and when I started it I wasn’t really soaking it up mostly because it was saying things I didn’t want to hear. I picked it back up recently in an attempt to clear some of my “currently reading” books and also because I’ve been working on eating in a way that honors God. Finishing this book has convicted me, helped me, and inspired me to eat to the glory of God and to recognize sin and idolatry and gluttony for what it is. I have had a problem with more than one of the 3 main eating disorders she addresses in this book and the examples of typical thoughts and struggles and personal testimonies included really hit home with me. Very wise counsel. Definitely recommend!

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was the first book selected for a woman's book club formed out of a small group I attended that was comprised of middle aged, stay at home moms with school-aged children. I wasn't that excited about reading this book, as I don't really have any "food issues" but went along.
Wow, I was really convicted about idolatry! Even if food is not mine, I certainly have plenty. I ended up getting a lot out of how this book was written, by reading it in parallel to issues I may actually have rather than focusing on just food and our bodies.
The author, Elyse Fitzpatrick, also wrote "Idols of the Heart" which which offers the same conviction on a more general level.

[Dmreichle · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good book that drives you back to the real reason for everything we do; the Glory of God. Eating is just one small part of how we can live all our lives for God's glory. She talks about sinful eating patterns but doesn't give any hard and fast rules (since the Bible doesn't). I found it helpful for myself to continually remember to thank God for my food, for the pleasure food brings, but to make sure I don't use it as a idol or take comfort from it when I need to take all my comfort in God. It was a bit overly heavy on more severe eating disorders, but still all good content.

[Tenessa Martin · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you like to feel like you are the worst Christian in all the land, this book is for you! If you think that by eating a piece of chocolate is sinning, this book is for you! But seriously, if you want to gain self-control and better will power, you might want to pick this book up; just be prepared to feel awful for the mistakes and sins you commit on a daily basis. I like the ideas in the book, especially the D-I-S-C-I-P-L-I-N-E-D eating, but the book was so wordy it was hard to keep chugging through the book.

[Paul]

Although the author writes for women I'm sure that men are at least as bad if not worse than women when it comes to self control in the area of eating at least judging by the external evidence.
The writer provides an extensive case for the need for discipline in this as well as other areas as a fruit of the Spirit in the life of the Christian. She supports her case with extensive scripture references and careful application. Helpful practical tips are also included.

[Alison Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Needed for Life

Thankful for the way that elyse has applied scripture directly to a common wound that most women and some men face. It’s what we all need for healing, as the Great Healer Himself is working in and through those he calls as His children. Her descriptions and the fact that she has explained her research by the Bible is refreshing. I can’t wait to share this with anyone who has struggled poorly with destructive eating habits. Thank you, Elyse!!!

[Butch · Rating 4 out of 5]

Though written to women, Elyse Fitzpatrick does a great job of outlining the spiritual battle that is behind our struggles with food. Very helpful. There are also some broadcasts with her that can be found on FamilyLife Today at www.familylifetoday.com. Search for past broadcasts by Elyse Fitzpatrick.

[Hannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was about half way through this when my life got busier and I haven't picked it up since. While I don't have any of the three eating disorders this book is aimed towards (anorexia, bulimia, and obesity), I was impacted by it in several ways. Showing a God-focused, Biblical approach to food (and every other area of life), this book would be useful to most who read it.