What do you think?
Rate this book
Colors of Goodbye: A Memoir of Holding On, Letting Go, and Reclaiming Joy in the Wake of Loss
What happens "after" the worst happens?
Before May 31, 2008, September Vaudrey's life was beautiful. But on that day, with one phone call from the ER, her whole world--everything she knew and believed--was shaken to the core. Katie, her 19-year-old artist daughter, had been in a car accident and would not survive. How does a family live in the wake of devastating tragedy? When darkness colors every moment, is it possible to find light? Can God still be good, even after goodbye?
With the depth of C. S. Lewis's "A Grief Observed" and the poignancy of Joan Didion's "The Year of Magical Thinking," "Colors of Goodbye" offers a moving glimpse into a mother's heart. Combining literary narrative and raw reflection, September Vaudrey walks through one of life's worst losses--the death of a child--and slowly becomes open to watching for the unexpected ways God carries her through it. It's a story of love and tragedy in tandem; a deeply personal memoir from a life forever changed by one empty place. And at its core, "Colors of Goodbye" calls to the deepest part of our spirits to know that "death is not the end . . ." and that life can be beautiful still.
Before May 31, 2008, September Vaudrey's life was beautiful. But on that day, with one phone call from the ER, her whole world--everything she knew and believed--was shaken to the core. Katie, her 19-year-old artist daughter, had been in a car accident and would not survive. How does a family live in the wake of devastating tragedy? When darkness colors every moment, is it possible to find light? Can God still be good, even after goodbye?
With the depth of C. S. Lewis's "A Grief Observed" and the poignancy of Joan Didion's "The Year of Magical Thinking," "Colors of Goodbye" offers a moving glimpse into a mother's heart. Combining literary narrative and raw reflection, September Vaudrey walks through one of life's worst losses--the death of a child--and slowly becomes open to watching for the unexpected ways God carries her through it. It's a story of love and tragedy in tandem; a deeply personal memoir from a life forever changed by one empty place. And at its core, "Colors of Goodbye" calls to the deepest part of our spirits to know that "death is not the end . . ." and that life can be beautiful still.
320 pages, Paperback
First published April 5, 2016
28 people are currently reading
609 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 68 reviews
March 4, 2016
Working for a publisher, I have the opportunity to read a number of books, although far more cross my desk than I ever have an opportunity to read. I received an early manuscript of this book about a month ago in the form of a .pdf. I began reading the book on my phone and read the entire book on that platform in less than 24 hours. It is a 300-page book and not an easy read yet I was so drawn in by the richness of September's words and the manner in which she drew me in as a reader.
While I'm sure most who will read this book may be female, as a male this is one of the top five books that I've ever read, and it may be at the very top. I received an actual copy of the book today and it's a beautiful book. It was beautiful with just words on paper before the pictures and artwork, and it has been enhanced that much more since. I opened the actual book today and wanted to gauge if maybe I was in a frame of mind when I read the book that affected my initial response to it. I opened to one page midway through the book and knew immediately that it was everything I believed it to be during my initial reading.
I'm so honored to work at the publisher that produced this book and, no, I don't write reviews for most of our books (I've written less than five). You need to get your hands on this book and, when you do, clear your day because you won't be able to do anything else, no matter the importance. It's that special. This book is rich in content, heartbreaking, uplifting yet real, and a true blessing. I can't imagine I would ever more highly recommend a book.
While I'm sure most who will read this book may be female, as a male this is one of the top five books that I've ever read, and it may be at the very top. I received an actual copy of the book today and it's a beautiful book. It was beautiful with just words on paper before the pictures and artwork, and it has been enhanced that much more since. I opened the actual book today and wanted to gauge if maybe I was in a frame of mind when I read the book that affected my initial response to it. I opened to one page midway through the book and knew immediately that it was everything I believed it to be during my initial reading.
I'm so honored to work at the publisher that produced this book and, no, I don't write reviews for most of our books (I've written less than five). You need to get your hands on this book and, when you do, clear your day because you won't be able to do anything else, no matter the importance. It's that special. This book is rich in content, heartbreaking, uplifting yet real, and a true blessing. I can't imagine I would ever more highly recommend a book.
June 21, 2016
I know not everyone will want to read this book once they read the synopsis and I can completely relate. However, everyone should. Even if you haven't experienced loss first hand, this book can be a huge asset in helping someone who has. September gives a raw, unfiltered account of her feelings she experienced through all the stages of the grief process. She explains what things those close to her did to help her through one of the worst things that could possibly happen to a parent, that of losing a child. I wept reading her words as I cannot imagine burying a child. Her faith, family, and friends are what allowed her to continue through the grief and not get stuck in it. Such powerful, heartfelt words on pages that I won't soon forget.
May 8, 2025
Two weeks ago, my friend cried in church. I thought perhaps the sermon about how we are troubled but not distressed was comforting her, so newly bereaved of a beloved child. Afterward, I made some awkward comment about comfort causing one to cry. She waited till the preacher's sister, standing beside us, turned away to another conversation; and then she said, low, "I was Not Comforted by that sermon."
Instead, she felt targeted. "Someone with faith," the preacher said, "is not devastated by hard things." My friend, in the loss of her child, was devastated. She is STILL devastated. She is flattened. She is obsessed with the loss. She is angry. She is hungry for the merest bits of story about her child. She is dreading Mother's Day.
Yet she still, like September Vaudrey, has faith. I thought of the sermon and our conversation the moment I opened this book, and read the foreword by Shauna Niequist, in which she used the word "devastated" in describing her friend September.
And the narrative did not disappoint. This memoir tenderly, poignantly, colorfully illustrates how a person of faith grieves... in their devastation.
Instead, she felt targeted. "Someone with faith," the preacher said, "is not devastated by hard things." My friend, in the loss of her child, was devastated. She is STILL devastated. She is flattened. She is obsessed with the loss. She is angry. She is hungry for the merest bits of story about her child. She is dreading Mother's Day.
Yet she still, like September Vaudrey, has faith. I thought of the sermon and our conversation the moment I opened this book, and read the foreword by Shauna Niequist, in which she used the word "devastated" in describing her friend September.
And the narrative did not disappoint. This memoir tenderly, poignantly, colorfully illustrates how a person of faith grieves... in their devastation.
May 19, 2016
How can my words describe the beauty and value of this book? From the first chapter, I knew this book would be a favourite of mine. As I read, my first impression was not unfounded. This book really, really touched my heart. As I read the saga within, my heart ached for the family who lost their beloved and unforgettable 19-year old Katie! Yet, even while my heart was weeping, I sensed the great peace and joy that this family had, which can only come from a relationship with Jesus Christ! Since this book is penned by the mother of Katie, it is raw and real. I have never experienced loss like this and I want to prepare my heart and faith for such a time. So, I read books like this and come away feeling amazed by the faith God gives His children in times of grief. I highly, highly recommend this book for everyone- man or woman, untouched or shadowed by trials. Whether God has already given you strength to make it through a hard time, or you have no idea how you're going to get through another day, you need to read this book.
The author, September Vaudrey is incredibly honest and open. Yet, at the same time she is not self-absorbed, proud or asking for pity. She writes- in a beautiful style- the whole truth of her and her family's time of grief and it really gives a picture of true sorrow and the love God bestows on them to get them through it. Do not miss this beautiful and God-glorifying book.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest opinion.
The author, September Vaudrey is incredibly honest and open. Yet, at the same time she is not self-absorbed, proud or asking for pity. She writes- in a beautiful style- the whole truth of her and her family's time of grief and it really gives a picture of true sorrow and the love God bestows on them to get them through it. Do not miss this beautiful and God-glorifying book.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest opinion.
June 2, 2016
Living Fully with a Broken Heart
For ten lovely years we were six.
I loved being six. In fact, I loved it so much that my email address incorporates our last name and the number six.
However, numbers change as children grow up and take flight. After our oldest son married, we were mostly five, but sometimes seven; and when son number two left for college we became four on a day-to-day basis.
But sometimes – gloriously – we are eight because of a grandboy.
I am blessed by this joyful numbering, but what happens when the numbers change for other than joyful reasons?
What if the numbers change because of the death of a child?
September Vaudrey has shared her story of decreasing numbers that came with the death of her middle daughter at the age of nineteen. Colors of Goodbye is a story of hope in a minor key, a story of letting go. When September sensed the voice of God saying, “I am good. This tragedy does not change My character. It doesn’t change who I am. I am good,” she left the door of her heart open to receive evidence of this truth. The resulting memoir is very personal, and yet manages to capture the experience of the entire family’s grief and to offer a record of helpful ways in which their community responded.
Although the author’s focus is definitely the death of her daughter Katie from a cerebral aneurysm, the book is also about Katie’s life: how she wanted to leave ripples in the lives she left behind; how her faith informed her art (and vice versa); how her strengths as well as her faults contributed to her role in the family. Then, because Katie’s funeral occurs at about the half-way mark in Colors of Goodbye, the second half of the book provides a poignant travelogue of one family’s slow traverse through the desert of grief.
I have emerged from this gripping read with a series of impressions, a supply of common-sense advice for ministering grace to the grieving, and some forcefully expressive insights to the loss from which a parent never fully recovers:
Each family member must be free to grieve in his own way. An extrovert, September struggled to understand the low-key responses of her introverted husband and children. It appears that each tendency carries its unique freight of disadvantages with extroverts oversharing (to the horror of September’s children) and introverts “stuffing” their feelings, and, perhaps, slowing their process of healing. Scott (Katie’s father, September’s husband) needed quiet and distance in order to grieve well. He took on a landscaping project and the physical work probably helped. By contrast, September needed to keep a vigil over Katie’s last hours in the hospital, to do Katie’s make-up and hair for the funeral, to take pictures of her daughter’s dying. She shares the importance of having no regrets and the fact that, “From the very beginning, our grief looks starkly different — and equally right for us both.” It is critical for families to give each other the space to grieve in the manner that seems right for them.
2. When losing a child, “you grieve not only for your own loss, but for everyone else’s, too.” September found that commonality of trauma gave mutual understanding. “Pain is pain, no matter its source.” However, the pain must be faced head on.
3. God does not promise parents a lifetime with their children here on earth. This was a truth that September had to return to again and again. It was heartbreaking to read her accounts of pleading with God to turn back the clock: “Let Katie have a headache. We’ll take her to ER, they’ll detect the aneurysm, and this story can have a different ending.” Scott Vaudrey’s prayer frames the Christian’s vantage point: “How blessed we are that someday we will see her again. We grieve deeply, but we grieve with hope.”
4. The death of a child brings unique pain to a family. Their other children will pose for up-to-date family pictures, will likely add spouses and kids to their photos — while the picture of the child who has died remains frozen in time, out-dated, and unchanging. The dead child will not be present in siblings’ wedding and graduation pictures. There is a tendency for parents to over-protect and worry obsessively over the safety of remaining children, and divorce statistics for bereaved parents are very discouraging.
5. The day after the funeral is not a finish line, but a starting line. Several times in her dated entries from the three years following Katie’s death, September shared her feeling of being trapped in an endless season of waiting. When will life get back to “normal”? She worked her way through what she referred to as “death chores” (writing thank you notes, throwing away bouquets, dealing with paperwork such as medical bills and insurance details, disposing of possessions), trusting for release from pent up sorrow. Even knowing intellectually that, at some point, she needed to accept her new life — her very different life — without five children, her heart still needed to process that brave surrender.
6. September’s memoir is a valuable record of the body of Christ showing up in meaningful, appropriate, and significant ways for a grieving family. I kept a running list of all the thoughtful and helpful acts of love the Vaudrey family received, and I hope that if someone close to me is suffering in that way, I will remember to refer to that list. It ranged from the small and practical (restaurant gift cards tucked into sympathy cards, making it clear that it’s o.k. to talk about the deceased and then listening with patience, providing meals for the family and help with the children) to the significant and symbolic (planting a tree in the yard in memory of the child, including the family in events that would have involved the child, noting anniversary dates, accompanying the parents in difficult duties associated with the child’s death). September spoke fondly of her “posse of girlfriends” who ministered to her in ways that even her family was unable to do.
7. The circumstances of Katie’s death made her an ideal organ donor. The Vaudreys were open and accepting of this option, and September shares how this decision both helped and exacerbated their pain, while affirming that it was the right decision for them.
Colors of Goodbye displays with candor the entire palette of September Vaudrey’s journey through grief. The truth of God’s mercy is put on display, and she trumpets with joy the blessed hope that the believer does not “sorrow as others who have no hope.” On the other hand, this is no candy-coated misuse of Romans 8:28 with the error of “forcing . . . tragedy into some sort of beautiful blessing without giving nod to [the] lacerating loss.”
The Vaudreys’ lives were forever changed on May 31, 2008 when their daughter died. I write as an outsider to this form of grief. However, I believe that, by the grace of God, they have allowed (and I’m sure are still allowing) their heartache to transform their lives with a beauty and joy that is theirs because of (not in spite of) their pain and loss.
//
This book was provided by Tyndale Momentum, an imprint of Tyndale House Publishers, in exchange for my review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
For ten lovely years we were six.
I loved being six. In fact, I loved it so much that my email address incorporates our last name and the number six.
However, numbers change as children grow up and take flight. After our oldest son married, we were mostly five, but sometimes seven; and when son number two left for college we became four on a day-to-day basis.
But sometimes – gloriously – we are eight because of a grandboy.
I am blessed by this joyful numbering, but what happens when the numbers change for other than joyful reasons?
What if the numbers change because of the death of a child?
September Vaudrey has shared her story of decreasing numbers that came with the death of her middle daughter at the age of nineteen. Colors of Goodbye is a story of hope in a minor key, a story of letting go. When September sensed the voice of God saying, “I am good. This tragedy does not change My character. It doesn’t change who I am. I am good,” she left the door of her heart open to receive evidence of this truth. The resulting memoir is very personal, and yet manages to capture the experience of the entire family’s grief and to offer a record of helpful ways in which their community responded.
Although the author’s focus is definitely the death of her daughter Katie from a cerebral aneurysm, the book is also about Katie’s life: how she wanted to leave ripples in the lives she left behind; how her faith informed her art (and vice versa); how her strengths as well as her faults contributed to her role in the family. Then, because Katie’s funeral occurs at about the half-way mark in Colors of Goodbye, the second half of the book provides a poignant travelogue of one family’s slow traverse through the desert of grief.
I have emerged from this gripping read with a series of impressions, a supply of common-sense advice for ministering grace to the grieving, and some forcefully expressive insights to the loss from which a parent never fully recovers:
Each family member must be free to grieve in his own way. An extrovert, September struggled to understand the low-key responses of her introverted husband and children. It appears that each tendency carries its unique freight of disadvantages with extroverts oversharing (to the horror of September’s children) and introverts “stuffing” their feelings, and, perhaps, slowing their process of healing. Scott (Katie’s father, September’s husband) needed quiet and distance in order to grieve well. He took on a landscaping project and the physical work probably helped. By contrast, September needed to keep a vigil over Katie’s last hours in the hospital, to do Katie’s make-up and hair for the funeral, to take pictures of her daughter’s dying. She shares the importance of having no regrets and the fact that, “From the very beginning, our grief looks starkly different — and equally right for us both.” It is critical for families to give each other the space to grieve in the manner that seems right for them.
2. When losing a child, “you grieve not only for your own loss, but for everyone else’s, too.” September found that commonality of trauma gave mutual understanding. “Pain is pain, no matter its source.” However, the pain must be faced head on.
3. God does not promise parents a lifetime with their children here on earth. This was a truth that September had to return to again and again. It was heartbreaking to read her accounts of pleading with God to turn back the clock: “Let Katie have a headache. We’ll take her to ER, they’ll detect the aneurysm, and this story can have a different ending.” Scott Vaudrey’s prayer frames the Christian’s vantage point: “How blessed we are that someday we will see her again. We grieve deeply, but we grieve with hope.”
4. The death of a child brings unique pain to a family. Their other children will pose for up-to-date family pictures, will likely add spouses and kids to their photos — while the picture of the child who has died remains frozen in time, out-dated, and unchanging. The dead child will not be present in siblings’ wedding and graduation pictures. There is a tendency for parents to over-protect and worry obsessively over the safety of remaining children, and divorce statistics for bereaved parents are very discouraging.
5. The day after the funeral is not a finish line, but a starting line. Several times in her dated entries from the three years following Katie’s death, September shared her feeling of being trapped in an endless season of waiting. When will life get back to “normal”? She worked her way through what she referred to as “death chores” (writing thank you notes, throwing away bouquets, dealing with paperwork such as medical bills and insurance details, disposing of possessions), trusting for release from pent up sorrow. Even knowing intellectually that, at some point, she needed to accept her new life — her very different life — without five children, her heart still needed to process that brave surrender.
6. September’s memoir is a valuable record of the body of Christ showing up in meaningful, appropriate, and significant ways for a grieving family. I kept a running list of all the thoughtful and helpful acts of love the Vaudrey family received, and I hope that if someone close to me is suffering in that way, I will remember to refer to that list. It ranged from the small and practical (restaurant gift cards tucked into sympathy cards, making it clear that it’s o.k. to talk about the deceased and then listening with patience, providing meals for the family and help with the children) to the significant and symbolic (planting a tree in the yard in memory of the child, including the family in events that would have involved the child, noting anniversary dates, accompanying the parents in difficult duties associated with the child’s death). September spoke fondly of her “posse of girlfriends” who ministered to her in ways that even her family was unable to do.
7. The circumstances of Katie’s death made her an ideal organ donor. The Vaudreys were open and accepting of this option, and September shares how this decision both helped and exacerbated their pain, while affirming that it was the right decision for them.
Colors of Goodbye displays with candor the entire palette of September Vaudrey’s journey through grief. The truth of God’s mercy is put on display, and she trumpets with joy the blessed hope that the believer does not “sorrow as others who have no hope.” On the other hand, this is no candy-coated misuse of Romans 8:28 with the error of “forcing . . . tragedy into some sort of beautiful blessing without giving nod to [the] lacerating loss.”
The Vaudreys’ lives were forever changed on May 31, 2008 when their daughter died. I write as an outsider to this form of grief. However, I believe that, by the grace of God, they have allowed (and I’m sure are still allowing) their heartache to transform their lives with a beauty and joy that is theirs because of (not in spite of) their pain and loss.
//
This book was provided by Tyndale Momentum, an imprint of Tyndale House Publishers, in exchange for my review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
June 6, 2016
I sometimes wonder if I am a glutton for punishment. There was no mistaking when I picked up Colors of Goodbye by September Vaudrey that it would be an emotional book, after all, it's a memoir of holding on, letting go, and reclaiming joy in the wake of loss.
I figured it wouldn't be as emotional for me since Katie was older (19) and died in a different way than my own (car accident after an aneurysm). I was wrong. Reading the pain, the memories, the thoughts of a mother who lost a child is just as gut wrenching no matter the age, no matter the way the child passed. As heartbreaking as this book was, it also was deeply healing.
While I recommend this book to anyone who has lost a child or knows someone who has lost a child or someone else close to them, I'd also recommend it to anyone human, as it shows that one can face the ultimate pain in life and still see the good. As Vaudrey points out on page 226: "Life is hard, and tragedy strikes. Also, life is stunningly beautiful. Both/and. But our circumstances do not have the power to steal our joy without our permission. If our purpose, our identity, our sense of God's direction hinged upon a pain-free life, how precarious the world would be. How weak God would be. How few would ever find joy."
"I now knew from personal experience that the same God who allows pain to enter our lives also sends us comfort, His presences, and more strength than we thought we possessed. And with the sorrow, He extends an invitation for the transformation of our character and a richer, wiser appreciation of life."
Vaudrey writes with such passion about Katie and the rest of her family that you fall in love with them all and feel their pain. She digs deep into what a loss such as this can do to a person, to a family, to a marriage. But she also brings hope, as well as perspective. "As much as I hate the answer I got when I prayed for Katie, I can't call foul. God never guaranteed me a lifetime with her. He never promised me any of the blessings I get to treasure every day. He promises us comfort in sorrow, strength when our own fails, inexplicable peace, His presence in storms, and life in all its fullness for those who follow Him - but not a pain-free life. And the things He promises, He delivers."
This is such a beautiful book, both the writing as well as the family pictures and Katie's artwork.
This book was sent to be by Tyndale Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
I figured it wouldn't be as emotional for me since Katie was older (19) and died in a different way than my own (car accident after an aneurysm). I was wrong. Reading the pain, the memories, the thoughts of a mother who lost a child is just as gut wrenching no matter the age, no matter the way the child passed. As heartbreaking as this book was, it also was deeply healing.
While I recommend this book to anyone who has lost a child or knows someone who has lost a child or someone else close to them, I'd also recommend it to anyone human, as it shows that one can face the ultimate pain in life and still see the good. As Vaudrey points out on page 226: "Life is hard, and tragedy strikes. Also, life is stunningly beautiful. Both/and. But our circumstances do not have the power to steal our joy without our permission. If our purpose, our identity, our sense of God's direction hinged upon a pain-free life, how precarious the world would be. How weak God would be. How few would ever find joy."
"I now knew from personal experience that the same God who allows pain to enter our lives also sends us comfort, His presences, and more strength than we thought we possessed. And with the sorrow, He extends an invitation for the transformation of our character and a richer, wiser appreciation of life."
Vaudrey writes with such passion about Katie and the rest of her family that you fall in love with them all and feel their pain. She digs deep into what a loss such as this can do to a person, to a family, to a marriage. But she also brings hope, as well as perspective. "As much as I hate the answer I got when I prayed for Katie, I can't call foul. God never guaranteed me a lifetime with her. He never promised me any of the blessings I get to treasure every day. He promises us comfort in sorrow, strength when our own fails, inexplicable peace, His presence in storms, and life in all its fullness for those who follow Him - but not a pain-free life. And the things He promises, He delivers."
This is such a beautiful book, both the writing as well as the family pictures and Katie's artwork.
This book was sent to be by Tyndale Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
July 5, 2016
Grief is like a ball of hopelessly tangled yarn. Unraveling it takes time. Colors of Goodbye helped me untangle some of the knots in my leftover ball of grief.
Knowing the subject matter I put off reading for a while and then inwardly braced myself when I cracked open the book. Shauna Niequist's forward was such a perfect opening. I walked through the doorway into the cavernous well of grief explored by the author after the tragic loss of her daughter. Each chapter's offering felt carefully measured out so that I could navigate my way through the emotions that surfaced for me without feeling overwhelmed. September Vaudrey vulnerably retraces her footsteps through the minefield of grief. Even her missteps are pointed out for the benefit of those coming after her.
The use of color, art, and beauty to paint a picture of grief reminded me of the word "brutiful" coined by Glennon Doyle Melton. She uses it when "life's brutal and beautiful are woven together so tightly that they can't be separated."
I received this book as a gift from Tyndale Momentum. This honest review is my way of saying, "Thank you".
Knowing the subject matter I put off reading for a while and then inwardly braced myself when I cracked open the book. Shauna Niequist's forward was such a perfect opening. I walked through the doorway into the cavernous well of grief explored by the author after the tragic loss of her daughter. Each chapter's offering felt carefully measured out so that I could navigate my way through the emotions that surfaced for me without feeling overwhelmed. September Vaudrey vulnerably retraces her footsteps through the minefield of grief. Even her missteps are pointed out for the benefit of those coming after her.
The use of color, art, and beauty to paint a picture of grief reminded me of the word "brutiful" coined by Glennon Doyle Melton. She uses it when "life's brutal and beautiful are woven together so tightly that they can't be separated."
I received this book as a gift from Tyndale Momentum. This honest review is my way of saying, "Thank you".
Read
May 6, 2016After I ordered this book, I had buyer's remorse. Why would I want to read a book about losing a child? How sad! I am so glad I read it. All of us have dealt with loss. September Audrey wraps words around what it is like to lose something and think you cannot go on. And yet you go on.
She shares in vulnerability and rawness how God met her during this dark time. I am richer for having taken the steps on her journey with her by reading Colors of Goodbye. And I can digest my own losses more thoroughly and completely because I have learned from her.
She shares in vulnerability and rawness how God met her during this dark time. I am richer for having taken the steps on her journey with her by reading Colors of Goodbye. And I can digest my own losses more thoroughly and completely because I have learned from her.
May 9, 2016
About the Book:
What happens "after" the worst happens?
Before May 31, 2008, September Vaudrey's life was beautiful. But on that day, with one phone call from the ER, her whole world--everything she knew and believed--was shaken to the core. Katie, her 19-year-old artist daughter, had been in a car accident and would not survive. How does a family live in the wake of devastating tragedy? When darkness colors every moment, is it possible to find light? Can God still be good, even after goodbye?
With the depth of C. S. Lewis's "A Grief Observed" and the poignancy of Joan Didion's "The Year of Magical Thinking," "Colors of Goodbye" offers a moving glimpse into a mother's heart. Combining literary narrative and raw reflection, September Vaudrey walks through one of life's worst losses--the death of a child--and slowly becomes open to watching for the unexpected ways God carries her through it. It's a story of love and tragedy in tandem; a deeply personal memoir from a life forever changed by one empty place. And at its core, "Colors of Goodbye" calls to the deepest part of our spirits to know that "death is not the end . . ." and that life can be beautiful still.
My Review:
Talking about a painful book, this book Colors of Goodbye is a book that takes a family on a journey that I'm sure had it been their choice they would NOT of wanted to go through. Losing their beloved Katie to a car accident was a devastation all it's own but the aftermath it left behind was miraculously and blindly sad. It was so incredibly terrible and you could feel it in the words that the author wrote. A very touching glimpse into a life that was cut short and the loved ones that were left behind as a result of Katie losing her life so did so many others.
It is true what they say until you have been there, you do NOT know the pain of losing a child or even a loved one that was literally part of your soul. Grieving has no time table. Love leaves us memories but sometimes those memories are such a burden to bear. This family comes out of the other side in tact but fractured and they show us how to do it with grace.
**Disclosure** This book was sent to me free of charge for my honest review from the author.
What happens "after" the worst happens?
Before May 31, 2008, September Vaudrey's life was beautiful. But on that day, with one phone call from the ER, her whole world--everything she knew and believed--was shaken to the core. Katie, her 19-year-old artist daughter, had been in a car accident and would not survive. How does a family live in the wake of devastating tragedy? When darkness colors every moment, is it possible to find light? Can God still be good, even after goodbye?
With the depth of C. S. Lewis's "A Grief Observed" and the poignancy of Joan Didion's "The Year of Magical Thinking," "Colors of Goodbye" offers a moving glimpse into a mother's heart. Combining literary narrative and raw reflection, September Vaudrey walks through one of life's worst losses--the death of a child--and slowly becomes open to watching for the unexpected ways God carries her through it. It's a story of love and tragedy in tandem; a deeply personal memoir from a life forever changed by one empty place. And at its core, "Colors of Goodbye" calls to the deepest part of our spirits to know that "death is not the end . . ." and that life can be beautiful still.
My Review:
Talking about a painful book, this book Colors of Goodbye is a book that takes a family on a journey that I'm sure had it been their choice they would NOT of wanted to go through. Losing their beloved Katie to a car accident was a devastation all it's own but the aftermath it left behind was miraculously and blindly sad. It was so incredibly terrible and you could feel it in the words that the author wrote. A very touching glimpse into a life that was cut short and the loved ones that were left behind as a result of Katie losing her life so did so many others.
It is true what they say until you have been there, you do NOT know the pain of losing a child or even a loved one that was literally part of your soul. Grieving has no time table. Love leaves us memories but sometimes those memories are such a burden to bear. This family comes out of the other side in tact but fractured and they show us how to do it with grace.
**Disclosure** This book was sent to me free of charge for my honest review from the author.
May 14, 2016
Colors of Goodbye is one of those books that touched me so deeply that I already know my mere words can not possibly adequately do it justice. September writes with such a raw honesty that you almost feel what she’s feeling. I cried so many times throughout this book for a family I don’t know and a girl whose life was cut short way too early.
I hadn’t experienced real grief until this past year when my dad died. I think before that maybe it wouldn’t have had the same effect on me. I felt like her words could have been written by me and I experienced many of the same thoughts and emotions. The numbness, the shock, the wonder at how people are just walking around like normal when the whole world has changed for those who lost someone, the strange things people say, the people who say nothing at all. It all resonated with me and will for anyone who has walked through grief. For those who haven’t, maybe it’ll give some insight on what others are experiencing.
While I now understand grief I can not possibly begin to imagine the shock and agony of losing a child. It is my worst fear in life. Without the grace of God I don’t know how people survive it. The Vaudrey’s have with beauty and grace in the midst of their turmoil.
September shared her story without reservation or holding back any of the ugly sides of grief. Her authenticity is refreshing and relatable to anyone who has lost someone. It’s also a relief. A relief to know that while everyone processes their grief differently, they do share many of the same emotions.
September did the life of her daughter Katie justice in Colors of Goodbye. The inclusion of Katie’s artwork on the cover, the title, the pictures at the end and September’s words all pay tribute to a girl you can’t help but fall in love with. Her story touched me deeply and it was a life that while short lived, was lived well. It inspired me to do better, live fuller, love more.
I will never understand people so young dying. But God has taken this story and used it for his glory and that is a gift this family can hold dear until they see her again.
I hadn’t experienced real grief until this past year when my dad died. I think before that maybe it wouldn’t have had the same effect on me. I felt like her words could have been written by me and I experienced many of the same thoughts and emotions. The numbness, the shock, the wonder at how people are just walking around like normal when the whole world has changed for those who lost someone, the strange things people say, the people who say nothing at all. It all resonated with me and will for anyone who has walked through grief. For those who haven’t, maybe it’ll give some insight on what others are experiencing.
While I now understand grief I can not possibly begin to imagine the shock and agony of losing a child. It is my worst fear in life. Without the grace of God I don’t know how people survive it. The Vaudrey’s have with beauty and grace in the midst of their turmoil.
September shared her story without reservation or holding back any of the ugly sides of grief. Her authenticity is refreshing and relatable to anyone who has lost someone. It’s also a relief. A relief to know that while everyone processes their grief differently, they do share many of the same emotions.
September did the life of her daughter Katie justice in Colors of Goodbye. The inclusion of Katie’s artwork on the cover, the title, the pictures at the end and September’s words all pay tribute to a girl you can’t help but fall in love with. Her story touched me deeply and it was a life that while short lived, was lived well. It inspired me to do better, live fuller, love more.
I will never understand people so young dying. But God has taken this story and used it for his glory and that is a gift this family can hold dear until they see her again.
June 6, 2016
I am inadequate to write a worthy review of this book, but I can say I have been changed by reading it. It was difficult to read at times because it both touched my heart with her family's grief and reawakened feelings of my own griefs.
I was loaned a copy by a friend and only accepted and read it because I didn't want to say "no" to her when she offered it. If you, too, are reluctant to read it, I would encourage you to read a few of the 5-star reviews and reconsider. It is beautifully written and carried me along with her story.
This is more than a woman sharing her experience grieving the loss of her daughter. In the process of relating how she and her family navigated the grief process in their own different ways, she actually gives the reader much to think about and to learn from. A few examples of the things I gained: Individuals grieve differently and need to be supported and validated; each of us needs to find our own way to grieve and respect that others may be grieving in an opposite way, and that is okay. We need to give grieving friends an opportunity to share; open the door, and then let them share (or not share) as much as they need to as they work through the grieving process. Don't ignore one's loss; a simple expression such as "I'm so sorry for your loss" acknowledges it and gives them an opportunity to respond as they wish. And there is so much more her.
This is a beautifully written book, sometimes difficult to read from an emotional standpoint but one well worth reading.
I was loaned a copy by a friend and only accepted and read it because I didn't want to say "no" to her when she offered it. If you, too, are reluctant to read it, I would encourage you to read a few of the 5-star reviews and reconsider. It is beautifully written and carried me along with her story.
This is more than a woman sharing her experience grieving the loss of her daughter. In the process of relating how she and her family navigated the grief process in their own different ways, she actually gives the reader much to think about and to learn from. A few examples of the things I gained: Individuals grieve differently and need to be supported and validated; each of us needs to find our own way to grieve and respect that others may be grieving in an opposite way, and that is okay. We need to give grieving friends an opportunity to share; open the door, and then let them share (or not share) as much as they need to as they work through the grieving process. Don't ignore one's loss; a simple expression such as "I'm so sorry for your loss" acknowledges it and gives them an opportunity to respond as they wish. And there is so much more her.
This is a beautifully written book, sometimes difficult to read from an emotional standpoint but one well worth reading.
June 29, 2016
This book tugged at my heartstrings!
I was pulled into this book and felt the hurt and loss this family was experiencing.
The Vaudrey family did not expect the sudden loss of their daughter and how it would change and effect their lives.
One minute she is a vibrant, beautiful, and artistic girl. The next she is in the hospital brain dead and the family must make choices about their daughter and up hold her wishes about organ donation.
The family can not imagine what life will be like without their loved one, they can't imagine even a day going buy without her.
September writes from her heart the struggles she faces and goes through and the obstacles she overcomes to heal and grieve in her way.
This book is a book you will want to have the tissue box next to you as you read.
Tyndale House Publishers provided me with a complimentary copy of this book for my honest review and opinions.
I was pulled into this book and felt the hurt and loss this family was experiencing.
The Vaudrey family did not expect the sudden loss of their daughter and how it would change and effect their lives.
One minute she is a vibrant, beautiful, and artistic girl. The next she is in the hospital brain dead and the family must make choices about their daughter and up hold her wishes about organ donation.
The family can not imagine what life will be like without their loved one, they can't imagine even a day going buy without her.
September writes from her heart the struggles she faces and goes through and the obstacles she overcomes to heal and grieve in her way.
This book is a book you will want to have the tissue box next to you as you read.
Tyndale House Publishers provided me with a complimentary copy of this book for my honest review and opinions.
July 27, 2016
This book perfectly captures that thin line between joy and pain. This is a story about every parent's worst nightmare--suddenly losing your child. Not only do they have to deal with their own devastating loss, but they still have to care for their four other children who have lost their sister. This book tells of their journey and how one family showed incredible courage in the midst of a great loss.If you know someone who is dealing with hurt or loss, send them a copy of this book. If you want to be encouraged that you, too, can go through a great loss and disappointment, yet continue to find joy...then this book is for you!
*Disclaimer*
I received this book free from the publisher in exchange for my honest reivew. I am not required to write a positive review. All opinions expressed are 100% my own.
*Disclaimer*
I received this book free from the publisher in exchange for my honest reivew. I am not required to write a positive review. All opinions expressed are 100% my own.
April 28, 2016
As a new Mom myself this book was incredibly hard to read as it deals with the pain and suffering of a Mother going through one of the greatest tragedies a parent can face, the loss of a child. After losing her daughter in a fatal car accident the author writes of her struggles dealing with the grief, anger and trying to find beauty in life once again. Written with such raw emotion the author does not hold back on how she battled her feelings towards God who took her precious child away and how heartbreaking it was living with the new normal which is not like anything she ever wanted. This book really draws you in and stays with you long after you finish the last page.
I received this book in exchange for my honest opinion
I received this book in exchange for my honest opinion
July 2, 2016
Colors of Goodbye is one of the most moving, unforgettable books I've read in years. In the best of ways, it is tragically beautiful and beautifully tragic. September Vaudrey tells the story of her daughter's death, while honoring her life and being honest about her grief journey (as well as the journey of her husband and children).
I can't remember the last time I wept through a book, but for the first 200 pages I found that I couldn't stop crying at such honest writing. It would have taken me less time to read, but my emotions simply needed a moment to regroup.
This is a touching book, an outstanding first book for Vaudrey, and I'm sure it will comfort many in their own seasons of grief.
I can't remember the last time I wept through a book, but for the first 200 pages I found that I couldn't stop crying at such honest writing. It would have taken me less time to read, but my emotions simply needed a moment to regroup.
This is a touching book, an outstanding first book for Vaudrey, and I'm sure it will comfort many in their own seasons of grief.
June 13, 2016
This book is beautifully written. I have to admit, having a 19-year-old artist daughter myself, I spent the majority of time reading this book with tears streaming down my face. I even sobbed through a couple sections. That said, I've been through tremendous loss myself, so it was a cathartic read. Though I've never lost a child, reading Vaudrey's story helped me understand my daughter's terrible loss. We all loved our Jacob, but for a mother to lose her child is heart-rending. Still, Vaudrey manages to give hope and light to a topic that needs to be talked about. Her daughter Katie was a beautiful soul, and her mother does her and the topic of the loss of a child justice.
July 6, 2016
Beautiful. Love the format, quotes and art. This book spoke to me.
The comment above refers to the Kindle version which has lovely colour pictures which I feel are one of the cores of the book. I liked them so much I ordered a hard copy. Oh what a disappointment to find that almost each one as in grayscale. Such a letdown and nothing I can do about it as the look inside feature shows the grayscale pages, but I didn't check, just assumed the hard copy and kindle copy were the same.
The comment above refers to the Kindle version which has lovely colour pictures which I feel are one of the cores of the book. I liked them so much I ordered a hard copy. Oh what a disappointment to find that almost each one as in grayscale. Such a letdown and nothing I can do about it as the look inside feature shows the grayscale pages, but I didn't check, just assumed the hard copy and kindle copy were the same.
June 25, 2016
The death of someone you love and care about is difficult regardless of your circumstances. The author shares her journey through loss and grief after the unexpected death of her young daughter. She is blessed to have an excellent support team and is not burdened with financial difficulties. Perhaps reading about this family's experience will help you deal with grief and show the importance of faith in our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.
May 16, 2016
This is a remarkable, must-read book. Beautifully written and hard to put down, Colors of Goodbye vividly illustrates faith, honesty, perseverance and love. No matter what hardships you have faced or are currently facing in your life, this story will leave you with hope, peace and a real sense of God's healing presence.
May 25, 2016
I could not put this book down, and I rarely say that. September is a wonderful writer, and tells the hear reading story of her daughters death with poise and grace and hope. Highly recommend for anyone!
June 24, 2016
If I could give ten stars, I would. This is an astounding true account of an unthinkable tragedy. Beautifully written. My friend knows the author and suggested I read it. Tears flowed.
June 6, 2016
Stunningly beautiful.
May 29, 2016
I loved this book!!!!
September is an awesome writer and captures every mother's heart...
Wonderful tear jerking journey.
I want to be her friend after this read...
September is an awesome writer and captures every mother's heart...
Wonderful tear jerking journey.
I want to be her friend after this read...
May 31, 2016
Amazing author gives a beautiful picture of her family and facing loss. Get your Kleenex ready, a cup of tea and dive in.
June 13, 2016
The way this mother invites her readers into the story of her loss and grief met by God's unchanging goodness profoundly impacted me!
June 26, 2016
Amazing story that is completely beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time.
May 12, 2025
A mother of five records her thoughts and prayers and emotions after losing her middle child, Katie, to an aneurism at just 19 years old! The author writes eloquently about the details of Katie in the hospital. It’s poignant and emotional enough to move me to tears at times. However, this story could have made been told in 150 or so less pages. I felt the end drug on too long and I was losing interest. The story ends three years after Katie’s death. The family is finding ways to move on while still embracing Katie’s memory.
This is a good memoir and a great reminder of how much we need God and community in times of tragedy.
This is a good memoir and a great reminder of how much we need God and community in times of tragedy.
April 13, 2024
This was such an emotional roller coaster! The author described the events in such detail that it made me feel like I was there. I felt like I knew the family and teared up a few times!
July 9, 2022
I've had this book in my TBR pile for well over 2 years. I couldn't bring myself to read a book about a 19-year old child's death. Friends read it and said it was beautiful and one of their favourites. I still couldn't do it. Then, 5 books behind on my reading goal, with a full 2 weeks of summer vacay stretching out before me, I picked it up and flipped through some of the pictures of art and smiling faces. Something stirred inside. With one of my own beautiful daughters tucked in beside me on the couch (reading her own book), I finally dug in. Oh my. First of all, the writing was incredible. The author invited you seamlessly into her story as if you were a friend sitting across from her at coffee. And the storytelling - snippets of memories interspersed with what was currently happening - was written with skill and so much love. I finished in 2 days, walking away with such a wonderful understanding of who Katie was, what she was like, and how close their family was (and consequently, the devastation Katie's death brought to the lives of everyone she met). This memoir was so real. Honest. Raw. Told so well. A magnificent tribute to a young woman who wanted to leave ripples, and most certainly did. I truly loved this book, Katie's story, and the story of the Vaudreys both before and after. Thank you September Vaudrey, for inviting us into your family in this way, and for sharing Katie with those of us who didn't have a chance to meet her IRL. We did, however, meet her on these pages...and she is amazing.
March 26, 2017
Well
It's a beautiful book about a ugly subject. Difficult to read. Yet we come out knowing this remarkably unwhole family.
It's a beautiful book about a ugly subject. Difficult to read. Yet we come out knowing this remarkably unwhole family.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 68 reviews