1914
p.5 – To Mary Bess Westenholz, April 1, 1914 – When I observe the various races here I feel that the superiority of the white race is an illusion. We are able to learn much more than they; even the Somalis have difficulty in handling a machine, and can only just manage a lamp (yesterday they let one smoke in my fine white bathroom so that it was black all over). But when it comes to character I think they surpass us. When I think that we have 1200 young men on the farm here, who live ten or twelve to a wretched little grass hut, and that I have never seen an angry face or heard quarreling, that everything is always done with a song and a smile, that from what I have heard, coarseness or impertinence are completely unknown concepts, that they are constantly seen with their arms about each other and pulling thorns our of each other’s feet – and think what trouble there would be with 1200 white workmen, I think they are better people than we are. They never drink, but are very addicted to every kind of tobacco, to smoke and to chew, and become intoxicated to the point of ecstasy with meat, which they love, and dancing.
p.12 – To Ingeborg Dinesen, May 28, 1914 – All the white people out here are pressing the government to raise the “Hut Tax,” the tax on natives, from 3 rupees to £1, in order to make them work; I think it is a sorry idea to force an entire nation that is now rich, into poverty in such a way, but on the other hand, I don’t think the natives can go on living in their present fashion; life has grown too easy for them, after the tribal wars; to a certain extent the wild animals, and especially the dangers of Arabian slave traders, have disappeared; previously the men had enough to do as hunters and warriors, not they do absolutely nothing, let the women, as before, work the soil and the cattle, and degenerate. As a whole I don’t think black and white can live together in one country; the black will be destroyed.
p.26 – To Ingeborg Dinesen, Nov. 18, 1914 – It is always irritating to hear the white people here, especially the Englishwomen- although some of the Swedes have learned it from them – talking about having “laid the boys down and given them 25-50 and so on.” They do not understand the language, and beat them for a misunderstanding, so they are reduced to rags. The women are the worst. So the result is that they cannot get any boys, which not surprising; I myself would certainly not go and work anywhere where there was a risk of being thrashed. None of our neighbours can get a boy and are furious with us; all the boys who were working here during the last rains are coming back now from as far away as Embu and Kisumu, we have hundreds more than we can use, and they work well here, but if we do not take them on they prefer to go back rather than work anywhere else. It is the same with houseboys.
1916
p.35 – To Ingeborg Dinesen, Christmas Eve, 1916 – The other day we drove out to an absolutely delightful place, Amanzimtoti, with a splendid beach, like Fanø. I am learning to drive and it is tremendous fun to drive oneself.
1917
p.41 – To Ingeborg Dinesen, February 17, 1917 – I do so much want to start painting again and hope I will have time when I get everything in order at home. Some time when I get back to Denmark I will go to art college. I think that one must have a certain amount of experience before one can assimilate one’s personality in some kind of art, but I think that later one can then transform it again into the art; I believe that I have much more feeling for color and line now than a few years ago.
p.44 – To Ingeborg Dinesen, April 19, 1917 – Life here is very like it was in Denmark about the year 1700. We get mail at most only once a month, the roads are impassible as soon as the weather is bad; for instance, it is impossible for me to get into Nairobi at the moment. Bror rides in and out, but as you can only ride at a walk in the mud I find it too much bother.
p.46 – June 1, 1917 – Out here the was is becoming a heavier and heavier burden for us, it makes everything difficult and some things impossible, and the worst thing of all is that they have to take so many natives down to G.E.A. as porters, so the labor problem casts a longer and longer grim shadow over all the plans. I am glad that I have such good boys, Fara, Juma…
1918
p.67 – To Ingeborg Dinesen, May 17, 1918 – Naturally Finch-Hatton and van de Weyer stayed to dinner – it is the custom in this country that people decide to stay on from one hour to the next – and for the nigh as well; then I went to Nairobi next day with Finch-Hatton for lunch. I am really sad that he has gone; it is seldom that one meets someone one is immediately in sympathy with and gets along so well with, and what a marvelous thin talent and intelligence is. Then a certain class of Englishmen have an extraordinary pleasant nature; Alan Thompson, my travelling companion on the voyage home in 1915, was rather similar, but still far less charming than Denys. He has now gone to Egypt to get flying instruction, probably in Cairo, and will go on to Mesopotamia; I sincerely hope that I shall see him again. I think it is great good fortune for a country to have a class of people who have nothing other to do than follow their own bent, and who have been brought up to observe the phenomena of life from above – and if I had a son I would send him to Eton. In Denmark where everyone has grown up in the same restricted conditions I think it would be a good thing to have a little injection of different ways of thinking now and again; out here one sometimes feels that most people’s horizon at home is restricted to an unfortunate extent.
p.69 – To Ingeborg Dinesen, May 20, 1918 – Society here is divided up by a strictly defined order of precedence which rests almost solely on the length of time one has been out here. All the “old” Settlers club together and look down on the new arrivals with the greatest superiority. People like Delamere and Cole and van de Weyer, who were here before the railroad came, and quite unbeatable, and those who arrived las year or this are of absolutely no consequence. Incidentally, Galbraith Cole was once deported because he shot a native who had stolen his sheep; but he came back again when war broke out.
1919
p.98 – To Ingeborg Dinesen, Feb. 26, 1919 – Finch-Hatton was ill with fever and stayed out here, he is still here now, and I am delighted to have him; I don’t think I have ever met such an intelligent person before, and one does appreciate that here. I must stop now as I am going out with Denis. There are big clouds promising more rain – “nun muss sich alles, alles, wenden.” I hope that with you too everything is filled with promise after this terrible year.
1922
p.124 – To Ingeborg Dinesen, Jan. 23, 1922 – I am adding a couple of lines to my letter to tell you that I am probably going to take the step you so much wish for; Bror and I are going to get divorced. I would ask you not to talk about it, but I wanted to tell you. Please understand that the decision has not been made before because Bror has been in such a terrible situation here. He has been without work and money, wanted by the police; he has been hiding out in the Masai Reserve without a tent or shoes. It was impossible for me, in consideration of other people here and of myself, to start to talk of divorce. But I think that things will go better with him now; he is probably going to get married as soon as it can be arranged, to an English lady who wants to help him.
1923
p.146 – To Ingeborg Dinesen, Jan.28, 1923 – the British Government’s dealings with India, I think they will have to be if they are really enthusiastic about and faithful to “the Empire.” I personally have so little racial feeling that I find it hard to understand them. I feel class differences so much more than racial, and would rather spend my time with an Arabian chief or an Indian priest than with a waiter from home.
p.159 – To Ingeborg Dinesen, July 8, 1923 – Maria Montessori constantly warns that children should never be “hustled” and I think this is so right; adults must adjust their minds to a different speed when they talk to them, and in general children only really understand a story and enjoy it when they hear it for the second time – or third or fourth – it is told, and the natives are the same and always take particular pleasure in hearing something repeated, as many times as possible.
p.163 – To Ellen Dahl, August 2, 1923 – Incidentally, I think that there is a really fine time ahead for women and that the next hundred years will bring many glorious revelations to them. For there is hardly any other sphere in which prejudice and superstition of the most horrific kind have been retained so long as in that of women, and just as it must have been an inexpressible relief for humanity when it shook off the burden of religious prejudice and superstition, I think it will be truly glorious when women become real people and have the whole world open before them. Each year brings so many small advances, automobiles, for instance, which after all we can drive every bit as well as men! And can you remember that when we were young girls we really could not walk in the street alone after dark? All that has quite changed now. And it is reasonable enough for the women’s movement to vacillate a good deal before finding its – more or less – real answers; but I will never cease to be grateful to the old warriors, - from Camilla Collett to Aunt Ellen, because they worked with might and main for it, although they would probably not acknowledge the “cause” in its present-day guise as their legitimate child!
Last time I was at home I was greatly interested in reading about Maria Montessori and her system of education for very small children, and I think that most of her ideas about them apply to the natives here, and that they should be treated in the same way. I wish that I might some day be in the position to get a Montessori-trained teacher out here and start a school.
p.169 – To Ingeborg Dinesen, Aug. 19, 1923 – The way in which girls are brought up is really shameful. I am quite certain that if I had been born a boy I would now, with exactly the same intelligence and other abilities that I have, have been able to look after myself really well. But even now I would surely be capable of it if only I had some help to start with.
p.171 – To Thomas Dinesen, September 25, 1923 – That such a person as Denys does exist – something I have indeed guessed at before, but hardly dared to believe – and that I have been lucky enough o meet him in this life and been so close to him – even though there have been long periods of missing him in between – compensates for everything else in the world, and other things cease to have any significance. But by the way, if I should die and you should happen to meet him afterwards, you must never let him know that I have written to you like this about him.
p.176 – To Ingeborg Dinesen, Dec. 15, 1923 – I notice in the same paper that Thit Jensen is advocating “Birth Control” at home. It is surprising that it seems something quite new at home; in England and America I think it is completely established as the only responsible thing. I see nothing at all against it from the moral point of view – except from the standpoint of really religious persons, but how, for instance, can they defend the use of lightning conductors or vaccination?
p.177 – To Ingeborg Dinesen, Dec. 23, 1923 – In the hope of attracting workers to the farm I am going to start a school here in the new year; I have wanted to do this for a very long time, but Dickens was very opposed to it, but now has come to think better of it. We will use rooms in “Charlie’s House,” Thomas knows where that is, and I think it will be a great pleasure. It will only be in the evening so as not to interfere with work on the farm.
I think that every large farm ought to have a school; there is no point in saying that natives are more happy in their primitive state; besides that being very questionable in itself, it is impossible to keep them there and by making no attempt to educate them all that results in that they get hold of all the worst aspects of civilization, like the frightful type of “Nairobi boys” that has developed since I first came out here, which is on a par with those at home with “their hair over their eyes.”
1924
p.196 – To Thomas Dinesen, March 15, 1924 – Denys is staying here at present and I have never been as happy, not half as happy, in my life as I am now. You, who have known what it means really to care for someone – and not because of reasons of circumstance and habit and so on, as seems to be the case in most marriages and love affairs that I have known, but solely because one has met with the most wonderful being on earth – you can understand what it means to be happy in this way, and how it occupies all one’s thought and all one’s being, so you will excuse a short letter. Don’t mention this to the others. Now it, for instance, I should die and you should later meet Denys, must you ever let him know that I have written or spoken of him to you; you are in fact the only person I have mentioned it to and it is actually a joy to have someone to talk to and who understands one. I know you can understand that there is a good deal of anxiety bound up in this shaurie; for me it has come to be more and more the only thing that matters in my life, and how will it end? – well, that is not exactly what I mean, but the very fact of possessing something or having possessed something that is of such immense value to one, brings its own terror with it, and all my circumstances are so uncertain.
p.224 – To Thomas Dinesen, Aug. 3, 1924 – I believe that for all time and eternity I am bound to Denys, to love the ground he walks upon, to be happy beyond words when he is here, and to suffer worse than death many times when he leaves. If I did not have the Somalis and natives to fall back upon here the middle-class English people I am forced to associate with would drive me mad. I like the aristocrats and bohemians, whom perhaps you do not; but on the other hand you as a man have more possibility for getting to know, or living among, the lower classes or proletariat. You once spoke of signing on as a seaman; I really think you should do that now. Or to might serve you equally well to spend a year in Somaliland and Abyssinia.
1925
p.232 – To Ingeborg Dinesen, Apr. 20, 1925 – Now I am thinking of sticking to my own plans and leaving here on Friday or Saturday morning, traveling via Hamburg and so getting home on Saturday or Sunday evening, which I hope will suit you.
p.233 – There are two things that I want to do when I am at home: paint, and learn to cook. Do you think I could take lessons in the royal kitchens? Perhaps, if they still exist the Misses Nimb would take me on as a pupil for old acquaintance’s sake.