What do you think?
Rate this book
The End of Me: Where Real Life in the Upside-Down Ways of Jesus Begins
Are you sometimes perplexed with Jesus’s teaching? Do you really want what he wants? Bestselling author Kyle Idleman reveals that the key to the abundant life Jesus promised lies in embracing His inside-out way of life. As he examines Jesus’s Sermon on the Mount, Kyle unpacks the many counter-intuitive truths, brokenness is the way to wholeness, mourning is the path to blessing, and emptiness is required in order to know true fullness. Ultimately you will discover how Jesus transforms you as you begin to live out these paradoxical principles. Because only when you come to the end of yourself can you begin to experience the full, blessed, and whole life Jesus offers.Kyle Idleman is the teaching pastor at Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky, the fifth largest church in America. The bestselling author of the award-winning book Not a Fan and AHA is a frequent speaker at conferences and events around the world. Kyle and his wife, DesiRae, have four children.
226 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 1, 2015
475 people are currently reading
2013 people want to read
About the author
Kyle Idleman
78 books617 followersKyle Idleman is the teaching pastor at Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky, the fifth largest church in America. The bestselling author of the award-winning book Not a Fan and AHA is a frequent speaker at conferences and events around the world. Kyle and his wife, DesiRae, have four children.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 198 reviews
February 4, 2017
After a long, long journey of reading this book over the course of many months, I finally finished it. I will most likely not read another book of Idleman's again. I enjoyed the points that he made and they were good, but it didn't really get beneath the surface-level cliche type of thing that I like to read. Sometimes it is nice to be told things you're already aware of in confidence, but in a way this book took various subtopics supporting the title and he would use examples and somewhat insignificant personal examples of proof for whatever his thesis was for that section. These type of things would be good for sermons and teachings, but not for a peice of literature. This seemed more like a high-school essay that was drawn out and turned into a book. This is obviously just my perspective, and this book may have made some good points to new and growing Christians who have never heard theses stories, but to me, it was at times boring, and uninteresting.
September 3, 2015
Back in the day when I was still invited to stand in the pulpit each week and preach, I once had a crazy idea after reading a book by Eugene Peterson. Actually, Peterson's book began sparking little fires in me that I simply could not control. He eventually wrote five volumes in a series of spiritual theologies, but it was that first book, Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places that wrecked me. The crazy idea was that I should start sharing with my congregation this newly found discovery that Christianity was not about 'me.' I still remember the sermon series because it came out of me around the time The Purpose Driven Life was all the rage. My series was called The Crucifixion Driven Life.
Then I took a seminary class called Doctrine of Grace at Cincinnati Christian University (hosted by a preacher named Jack Cottrell) which served as another fire that eventually, completely undid me. Along the way I met a preacher/author named Tom Wright, another named Tim Keller, and still another named Brennan Manning. David Crowder*Band released A Collision and redefined (at least for me) Christian music. Then I read a book by a now deceased blogger named Michael Spencer (Mere Churchianity) and heard a sermon by an obscure preacher named Max Lucado who called his sermon It's not about Me, It's not about Now. (Of everything I have heard and read by Max Lucado that sermon remains the most powerful and convicting I ever participated in. It was truly a watershed moment in my faith. He also wrote a book with a similar title, which I read. But even the book paled in comparison to the sermon he preached.) I don't even have the space to tell you about what happened when I was introduced to a turn of last century theologian named Peter Taylor Forsyth.
So many books...so many steps....so many sermons...
It took several years of reading and listening to these sermons and allowing these radical ideas to flood my own sermons for me to get fired from the church where I was preaching at the time. OK. I'll be fair. I 'resigned.' And it's been six long years that I have been in the wilderness learning about what Kyle Idleman crammed into 224 pages. And what is worse, I'm not sure God is done ending me just yet. Truth is, we probably don't 'end ourselves' as much as when we submit ourselves to Jesus he undoes us for us. Sometimes the submitting isn't done so willingly either. We may not ask for it. I'm certain it will be (or is) unpleasant (for the most part). And I'm certain it will not be a finished task until after Jesus has returned to claim his own and to set things to rights. Idleman wrote:
Even though most of us can point to a significant event like the ones above, getting to the end of me is not just one moment in life. Reaching the end of me is a daily journey I must make because it's where Jesus shows up and my real life in him begins. (location 49**)
I'm not sure how Idleman crammed so much into 224 pages. I mean, it's taken me more than six years to get where I am and I know that I could fill more than 224 pages, but I like writing and I probably wouldn't work well with an editor. Nevertheless, here I am. Once again I heard the voice of God whispering the truth to my heart and it hurts my ears and demolishes my pride and almost drives me to hopeful despair. Jesus is not easy. Following him is less so. So if John the baptizer 'must become less', how much more must we?
I have not heard these things taught in any of the churches that I have been to in the last six years or so since I stopped preaching and became a special education teacher in a public school. Well, maybe I heard some of it in the Anglican church we attended for a while, but the truth is that when I started thinking deeply about what real faith was like and started to express those thoughts in the pulpit, the people in the pew became increasingly uncomfortable. It was palpable. Truth is, it's just not popular, frankly, to tell the truth about what it means to truly follow Jesus. I mean we all utter things like 'Jesus said to take up our cross, deny ourselves, and follow him.' Yes, we do. But in America that scarcely has the subversiveness that Jesus attached to it. In America we bear crosses of cranky neighbors, Facebook debates with 'liberals' who deny young earth creationism, or long slogs to boring jobs. Idleman brings this back to his readers: "I want to warn you now--so much of Jesus' teachings seem oppositional to what we have come to accept. And the life He invites us to is not just countercultural, it's counterintuitive. More often than not it flies in the face of what feels right" (location 64).
I seriously do not understand how the preacher at a so-called megachurch can say things like this and still have a pulpit to climb into every week. But he said it. And I think he is right. It all seems so backwards to me at times and yet there's this nagging in my brain and heart that tells me he is correct. "Embrace the paradox," he writes, "Brokenness is the way to wholeness." When I read things like this I hear the echoes of those I have read before: Manning, David Wells, Michael Spencer, Eugene Peterson, Lucado, Crowder, Keller, Mullins, Tolkien, Lewis, Carson, Wright, Willimon, Hauerwas, Buchanan, Rowling, and so many, many more. There are so many voices screaming this in their books and pulpits and records and blogs--and yet...here we are...running over the same old ground...retracing our steps to the same old fears and misconceptions about Jesus and what it means to be his disciple. Here in America.
That phrase, 'brokenness is the way to wholeness,' is alone worth the price of the book. I know it's only a retread of something Jesus said, but I don't care. Say it again. Print 224 pages with nothing but that on each page and I'll buy the book because I have lived it--as have many others who will also testify to it's veracity. I cannot explain it or even wrap my head around it. But I see how God in his righteousness has been breaking this chain that bound me--bound me to a pulpit, bound me to an idea, bound me to a people and how he has taken that brokenness and retro-fit me with something better than pulpits, projects, and people. Grace. That's all. Just grace. It means coming to the end of me and realizing that God through Jesus loves me more than I imagined he ever could or would. It means truly living the Resurrection Driven Life (another series of sermons I preached back in the day.)
Even more importantly though is that in coming to the end of me I come to the beginning of others. I've been teaching special education students for 4.5 years now and every day I have to get out of the way and see them. When I was all up in my own business, there was no room for others--even though I served in a hundred different ways. I can honestly question my motives. My students force me each day to end myself. "This is the death we must die. Not a one-time death. Not a partial death. It's a daily dying. And every time I come to the end of me I discover what I deeply wanted all along--real and abundant life in Christ." (Location 2037). In my church of six members, located in a self-contained special education classroom in a public school, I work with emotionally and behaviorally disabled children. Every day they remind me to close the book on myself, to lose myself, to die to myself. They remind me of what it truly means to be the least and the last; the overlooked and forgotten, tucked away safely from the general population where we won't be a problem. Every day these six show me Jesus.
Well, I could go on quoting from the book and preaching this sermon, but I think at this point it's enough to say that I love this book. I like that Idleman, given where he is and what he does, has stayed humble. In many books I read like this, the authors come across somewhat pretentious and condescending. Not so with Idleman. It's a testimony to the leadership in his church, his upbringing, and his training that he has remained in touch with earth. This is what impresses me about this book. I get not a single hint of arrogance or condescension. This book reads like it was written by a fella who has walked with Jesus. His stories are self-deprecating when he tells them, but in truth he doesn't tell a lot of stories about himself--which I appreciate--and instead he tells stories about Jesus. I like this a lot. Too many authors write autobiographies and call them books about Jesus. This book is truly a book about Jesus.
My point is that Idleman seems to think there is something more important for his readers to read than stories about his own faith-prowess or preaching super-skills. He seems to have this idea that it is Jesus who saves and loves and who models for us what being a disciple looks like. So in wonderful fashion, he wrote a book about the end of himself by telling us about Jesus. And I'm sure Kyle Idleman would tell us that a story about Jesus is far more interesting than a story about himself.
This is a book you should buy and read. And then read again. And then buy for someone so they can read it.
5/5 Stars
Important Book & Author Things
Where to purchase or pre-order (on sale October 1, 2015) The End of Me (Amazon: Kindle) Christian Book Distributors (Paperback) David C Cook (Paperback)
Author: Kyle Idleman
Kyle Idleman on Twitter
Academic Webpage:
Editor:
Publisher: David C Cook
Pages: 224
Year: 2015
Audience: Mostly Christians, but others too (maybe)
Reading Level: High School
Disclaimer: I was provided an advance reader's copy courtesy of David C Cook via NetGalley.
**All page locations are relative at this point because I'm using an uncorrected proof. Pages should be checked against the final publication for accuracy.
Then I took a seminary class called Doctrine of Grace at Cincinnati Christian University (hosted by a preacher named Jack Cottrell) which served as another fire that eventually, completely undid me. Along the way I met a preacher/author named Tom Wright, another named Tim Keller, and still another named Brennan Manning. David Crowder*Band released A Collision and redefined (at least for me) Christian music. Then I read a book by a now deceased blogger named Michael Spencer (Mere Churchianity) and heard a sermon by an obscure preacher named Max Lucado who called his sermon It's not about Me, It's not about Now. (Of everything I have heard and read by Max Lucado that sermon remains the most powerful and convicting I ever participated in. It was truly a watershed moment in my faith. He also wrote a book with a similar title, which I read. But even the book paled in comparison to the sermon he preached.) I don't even have the space to tell you about what happened when I was introduced to a turn of last century theologian named Peter Taylor Forsyth.
So many books...so many steps....so many sermons...
It took several years of reading and listening to these sermons and allowing these radical ideas to flood my own sermons for me to get fired from the church where I was preaching at the time. OK. I'll be fair. I 'resigned.' And it's been six long years that I have been in the wilderness learning about what Kyle Idleman crammed into 224 pages. And what is worse, I'm not sure God is done ending me just yet. Truth is, we probably don't 'end ourselves' as much as when we submit ourselves to Jesus he undoes us for us. Sometimes the submitting isn't done so willingly either. We may not ask for it. I'm certain it will be (or is) unpleasant (for the most part). And I'm certain it will not be a finished task until after Jesus has returned to claim his own and to set things to rights. Idleman wrote:
Even though most of us can point to a significant event like the ones above, getting to the end of me is not just one moment in life. Reaching the end of me is a daily journey I must make because it's where Jesus shows up and my real life in him begins. (location 49**)
I'm not sure how Idleman crammed so much into 224 pages. I mean, it's taken me more than six years to get where I am and I know that I could fill more than 224 pages, but I like writing and I probably wouldn't work well with an editor. Nevertheless, here I am. Once again I heard the voice of God whispering the truth to my heart and it hurts my ears and demolishes my pride and almost drives me to hopeful despair. Jesus is not easy. Following him is less so. So if John the baptizer 'must become less', how much more must we?
I have not heard these things taught in any of the churches that I have been to in the last six years or so since I stopped preaching and became a special education teacher in a public school. Well, maybe I heard some of it in the Anglican church we attended for a while, but the truth is that when I started thinking deeply about what real faith was like and started to express those thoughts in the pulpit, the people in the pew became increasingly uncomfortable. It was palpable. Truth is, it's just not popular, frankly, to tell the truth about what it means to truly follow Jesus. I mean we all utter things like 'Jesus said to take up our cross, deny ourselves, and follow him.' Yes, we do. But in America that scarcely has the subversiveness that Jesus attached to it. In America we bear crosses of cranky neighbors, Facebook debates with 'liberals' who deny young earth creationism, or long slogs to boring jobs. Idleman brings this back to his readers: "I want to warn you now--so much of Jesus' teachings seem oppositional to what we have come to accept. And the life He invites us to is not just countercultural, it's counterintuitive. More often than not it flies in the face of what feels right" (location 64).
I seriously do not understand how the preacher at a so-called megachurch can say things like this and still have a pulpit to climb into every week. But he said it. And I think he is right. It all seems so backwards to me at times and yet there's this nagging in my brain and heart that tells me he is correct. "Embrace the paradox," he writes, "Brokenness is the way to wholeness." When I read things like this I hear the echoes of those I have read before: Manning, David Wells, Michael Spencer, Eugene Peterson, Lucado, Crowder, Keller, Mullins, Tolkien, Lewis, Carson, Wright, Willimon, Hauerwas, Buchanan, Rowling, and so many, many more. There are so many voices screaming this in their books and pulpits and records and blogs--and yet...here we are...running over the same old ground...retracing our steps to the same old fears and misconceptions about Jesus and what it means to be his disciple. Here in America.
That phrase, 'brokenness is the way to wholeness,' is alone worth the price of the book. I know it's only a retread of something Jesus said, but I don't care. Say it again. Print 224 pages with nothing but that on each page and I'll buy the book because I have lived it--as have many others who will also testify to it's veracity. I cannot explain it or even wrap my head around it. But I see how God in his righteousness has been breaking this chain that bound me--bound me to a pulpit, bound me to an idea, bound me to a people and how he has taken that brokenness and retro-fit me with something better than pulpits, projects, and people. Grace. That's all. Just grace. It means coming to the end of me and realizing that God through Jesus loves me more than I imagined he ever could or would. It means truly living the Resurrection Driven Life (another series of sermons I preached back in the day.)
Even more importantly though is that in coming to the end of me I come to the beginning of others. I've been teaching special education students for 4.5 years now and every day I have to get out of the way and see them. When I was all up in my own business, there was no room for others--even though I served in a hundred different ways. I can honestly question my motives. My students force me each day to end myself. "This is the death we must die. Not a one-time death. Not a partial death. It's a daily dying. And every time I come to the end of me I discover what I deeply wanted all along--real and abundant life in Christ." (Location 2037). In my church of six members, located in a self-contained special education classroom in a public school, I work with emotionally and behaviorally disabled children. Every day they remind me to close the book on myself, to lose myself, to die to myself. They remind me of what it truly means to be the least and the last; the overlooked and forgotten, tucked away safely from the general population where we won't be a problem. Every day these six show me Jesus.
Well, I could go on quoting from the book and preaching this sermon, but I think at this point it's enough to say that I love this book. I like that Idleman, given where he is and what he does, has stayed humble. In many books I read like this, the authors come across somewhat pretentious and condescending. Not so with Idleman. It's a testimony to the leadership in his church, his upbringing, and his training that he has remained in touch with earth. This is what impresses me about this book. I get not a single hint of arrogance or condescension. This book reads like it was written by a fella who has walked with Jesus. His stories are self-deprecating when he tells them, but in truth he doesn't tell a lot of stories about himself--which I appreciate--and instead he tells stories about Jesus. I like this a lot. Too many authors write autobiographies and call them books about Jesus. This book is truly a book about Jesus.
My point is that Idleman seems to think there is something more important for his readers to read than stories about his own faith-prowess or preaching super-skills. He seems to have this idea that it is Jesus who saves and loves and who models for us what being a disciple looks like. So in wonderful fashion, he wrote a book about the end of himself by telling us about Jesus. And I'm sure Kyle Idleman would tell us that a story about Jesus is far more interesting than a story about himself.
This is a book you should buy and read. And then read again. And then buy for someone so they can read it.
5/5 Stars
Important Book & Author Things
Where to purchase or pre-order (on sale October 1, 2015) The End of Me (Amazon: Kindle) Christian Book Distributors (Paperback) David C Cook (Paperback)
Author: Kyle Idleman
Kyle Idleman on Twitter
Academic Webpage:
Editor:
Publisher: David C Cook
Pages: 224
Year: 2015
Audience: Mostly Christians, but others too (maybe)
Reading Level: High School
Disclaimer: I was provided an advance reader's copy courtesy of David C Cook via NetGalley.
**All page locations are relative at this point because I'm using an uncorrected proof. Pages should be checked against the final publication for accuracy.
June 25, 2020
“Jesus became real when...I came to the end of me.”
“Here’s one thing to think about: the less you see your own brokenness, the more broken you are.”
“Here, again, is the treasure chest he offers in that passage from Matthew 16: 1. Deny yourself. 2. Pick up your cross. 3. Follow Him. 4. Prepare to die.”
Once again, Kyle Idleman offers up a fantastic book. He has easily become my favorite Christian authors as he has a gift of offering simple yet profound truths, awesome examples and pictures to show his points, laugh out loud humor, biblical accuracy, and compelling takeaways to draw closer to God and apply in the real world.
“The End Of Me” uses the paradoxes of Jesus’ teachings of the beatitudes and Sermon on the Mount. My favorite parts were his talking about all the examples of God filling things in the Bible (Jesus filling the jars with water that became wine, Elisha having the widow fill the jars with olive oil, all the baskets filled with fish and bread after feeding the multitude, and most importantly, how we are filled with the Holy Spirit. I also liked the chapter early on about blessed are the poor in spirit and uses examples of the Landfill Harmonic and also the art of Kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas with gold and how God does the same thing with our brokenness.
Very much a recommended read!
For more reviews, please check out my blog!
https://wadeurspider01.wixsite.com/we...
“Here’s one thing to think about: the less you see your own brokenness, the more broken you are.”
“Here, again, is the treasure chest he offers in that passage from Matthew 16: 1. Deny yourself. 2. Pick up your cross. 3. Follow Him. 4. Prepare to die.”
Once again, Kyle Idleman offers up a fantastic book. He has easily become my favorite Christian authors as he has a gift of offering simple yet profound truths, awesome examples and pictures to show his points, laugh out loud humor, biblical accuracy, and compelling takeaways to draw closer to God and apply in the real world.
“The End Of Me” uses the paradoxes of Jesus’ teachings of the beatitudes and Sermon on the Mount. My favorite parts were his talking about all the examples of God filling things in the Bible (Jesus filling the jars with water that became wine, Elisha having the widow fill the jars with olive oil, all the baskets filled with fish and bread after feeding the multitude, and most importantly, how we are filled with the Holy Spirit. I also liked the chapter early on about blessed are the poor in spirit and uses examples of the Landfill Harmonic and also the art of Kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas with gold and how God does the same thing with our brokenness.
Very much a recommended read!
For more reviews, please check out my blog!
https://wadeurspider01.wixsite.com/we...
June 28, 2015
I received this as an ARC from David C. Cook Publishing through NetGalley. I have read both "Not A Fan" and "AHA" by Kyle Idleman (both of which are very good), but I must say I believe "The End of Me" is Idleman's best so far.
The idea for this book came to Idleman when he posted the following on his Facebook page - Finish this sentence: "Jesus became real when..." He received many great answers, some of which he shares in the book, but the one that stuck out to him was "I came to the end of me". The fact is that we live in a selfish society, and, because we are selfish, we do not want to take the bold leap of dying to ourselves to completely follow Christ.
"The End of Me" is divided into two parts. The first section discusses four of the Beatitudes from the Sermon on the Mount. The second section discusses how we can serve God and be used by Him when we come to the end of ourselves. Overall this is very well written, providing copious scriptural references and tying them to real world examples. Idleman's characteristic wit and mild sarcasm are also noted throughout. Personally, I thought the first section was more powerful. It seemed to lag just a little in the middle, but quickly picks up towards the end for a strong finish.
The four Beatitudes that are discussed (from Matthew 5) are:
1. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven
2. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted
3. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth
4. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God
Matthew 12:34 says "the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart". Idleman points out that when what is on our inside matches up with what is on our outside, we are pure in heart and where God wants us to be. Jesus calls us to live one life and to live it out in the open. His name for that is purity of heart, and the reward for that is a rich and fulfilling blessing in life.
This is not a book to read to feel better about yourself. Romans 3:23 says "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". Living for Christ takes daily devotion. You have to be willing to die to yourself to let God take the reigns. The end of me is where real life begins. And Jesus says that once I die, I can truly live.
The idea for this book came to Idleman when he posted the following on his Facebook page - Finish this sentence: "Jesus became real when..." He received many great answers, some of which he shares in the book, but the one that stuck out to him was "I came to the end of me". The fact is that we live in a selfish society, and, because we are selfish, we do not want to take the bold leap of dying to ourselves to completely follow Christ.
"The End of Me" is divided into two parts. The first section discusses four of the Beatitudes from the Sermon on the Mount. The second section discusses how we can serve God and be used by Him when we come to the end of ourselves. Overall this is very well written, providing copious scriptural references and tying them to real world examples. Idleman's characteristic wit and mild sarcasm are also noted throughout. Personally, I thought the first section was more powerful. It seemed to lag just a little in the middle, but quickly picks up towards the end for a strong finish.
The four Beatitudes that are discussed (from Matthew 5) are:
1. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven
2. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted
3. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth
4. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God
Matthew 12:34 says "the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart". Idleman points out that when what is on our inside matches up with what is on our outside, we are pure in heart and where God wants us to be. Jesus calls us to live one life and to live it out in the open. His name for that is purity of heart, and the reward for that is a rich and fulfilling blessing in life.
This is not a book to read to feel better about yourself. Romans 3:23 says "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". Living for Christ takes daily devotion. You have to be willing to die to yourself to let God take the reigns. The end of me is where real life begins. And Jesus says that once I die, I can truly live.
October 9, 2015
Idleman begins this book by talking about the sermon on the mount and breaking down four of the hardest to understand beatitudes. The way that he explained how to apply what Jesus was saying to your life allows the reader to really apply scripture to everyday situations. He helps the reader broaden their understanding of what it really means to be broken to be whole, to mourn to be happy, be humbled to be exalted and be authentic to be accepted.
More than just telling the reader that he/she has to change because that's what the Bible says, Kyle takes you on a show and tell of sorts that unpacks everything about Jesus' life and how he was able to humble himself for the bigger picture. It's never about us, but what God can do through us.
Finishing the book left me with a greater desire to come to the end of myself and realize that Jesus is the only way to put all the pieces back together again. When we come to the end of ourselves, that's when God is able to show his power through us. Idleman leaves you with the reminder that this is a decision we make daily, not something we do once and let go of.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review from Net Galley and David C Cook.
More than just telling the reader that he/she has to change because that's what the Bible says, Kyle takes you on a show and tell of sorts that unpacks everything about Jesus' life and how he was able to humble himself for the bigger picture. It's never about us, but what God can do through us.
Finishing the book left me with a greater desire to come to the end of myself and realize that Jesus is the only way to put all the pieces back together again. When we come to the end of ourselves, that's when God is able to show his power through us. Idleman leaves you with the reminder that this is a decision we make daily, not something we do once and let go of.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review from Net Galley and David C Cook.
March 10, 2018
One of the best books ever. I would encourage anyone to read this book. Definitely gave me so much to think about in my daily journey with Jesus
September 1, 2015
Getting to the end of me means I’m not so worried about performing for others anymore. Getting to the end of me means I’m no longer interested in faking it, because I understand God is looking for the real me.
The book starts with this sentence: Jesus became real when….? You may have come up with answers depending on your experience but how real does Jesus become when we come to the end of ourselves. In the Kingdom of Heaven is upside down when it comes to the world that we live in. The world tells us to watch out for #1, Me. God’s kingdom says the last will be first and the first shall be last. The world tells us advancement is success. God’s Kingdom tells us to end me; I have to die to self.
This pragmatic humorous study takes the Beatitudes to show how backwards the Kingdom of God is for us. I think the humor does well in this study as it reveals the real you and how much we get in the way of the gospel and Christ’s work in us. We are so filled with insecurity, the need for affirmation, bitterness, entitlement, performance living, pride.etc. , how can we be filled with the Holy Spirit? In order to be filled with the spirit, we must come to the point of emptying ourselves. We must come to the End of me..
The End of Me starts with us being broken. We are all about being complete, but the broken is risky and requires faith. It is owning up to our brokenness because WE all our broken. The Beatitudes include a blessing and woe. Do we have the right understanding of what a blessing is? This chapter on blessing was a real blessing to me. Blessing is kingdom focused.
The End of Me is dealing with the Pharisee in me. This was a surprising look on what it means to be a Pharisee and before you say, that’s not for me…you may be Pharisee. The Pharisee is a contrast of what the Kingdom of God is building. The Pharisee builds himself, protects himself, - The kingdom of God denies himself and leaves himself vulnerable to love others.
The End of Me.. is learning to learning to humble myself. It is taking opportunities to think more of others than what my needs are. Humbling is not passive but an intentional act on my part.
Some of the best quotes are the following:
Pride is best buddies with insecurity.
Praying before others, we have a tendency to talk more to the people in the room than to God.
How many blessings have I missed out on, not because I wasn’t capable, but because I wasn’t vulnerable?
A daily decision and a daily demonstration.
I enjoyed getting to the End of Me as I can see more of God and His Goodness and living out the Gospel.
A Special Thank You to David C Cook and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.
The book starts with this sentence: Jesus became real when….? You may have come up with answers depending on your experience but how real does Jesus become when we come to the end of ourselves. In the Kingdom of Heaven is upside down when it comes to the world that we live in. The world tells us to watch out for #1, Me. God’s kingdom says the last will be first and the first shall be last. The world tells us advancement is success. God’s Kingdom tells us to end me; I have to die to self.
This pragmatic humorous study takes the Beatitudes to show how backwards the Kingdom of God is for us. I think the humor does well in this study as it reveals the real you and how much we get in the way of the gospel and Christ’s work in us. We are so filled with insecurity, the need for affirmation, bitterness, entitlement, performance living, pride.etc. , how can we be filled with the Holy Spirit? In order to be filled with the spirit, we must come to the point of emptying ourselves. We must come to the End of me..
The End of Me starts with us being broken. We are all about being complete, but the broken is risky and requires faith. It is owning up to our brokenness because WE all our broken. The Beatitudes include a blessing and woe. Do we have the right understanding of what a blessing is? This chapter on blessing was a real blessing to me. Blessing is kingdom focused.
The End of Me is dealing with the Pharisee in me. This was a surprising look on what it means to be a Pharisee and before you say, that’s not for me…you may be Pharisee. The Pharisee is a contrast of what the Kingdom of God is building. The Pharisee builds himself, protects himself, - The kingdom of God denies himself and leaves himself vulnerable to love others.
The End of Me.. is learning to learning to humble myself. It is taking opportunities to think more of others than what my needs are. Humbling is not passive but an intentional act on my part.
Some of the best quotes are the following:
Pride is best buddies with insecurity.
Praying before others, we have a tendency to talk more to the people in the room than to God.
How many blessings have I missed out on, not because I wasn’t capable, but because I wasn’t vulnerable?
A daily decision and a daily demonstration.
I enjoyed getting to the End of Me as I can see more of God and His Goodness and living out the Gospel.
A Special Thank You to David C Cook and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.
January 6, 2016
I loved this book! I learned so much and I enjoy Kyle's personality.
March 5, 2016
If you truly want a real abundant life in Christ. If you want Jesus to become real then this is a fantastic must read.
January 28, 2019
Very thought-provoking and convicting.
April 18, 2021
"Ketika Allah memilih Anda, Ia memperlengkapi Anda. Selalu."
I am glad that I finally get to finish this book.
I am glad that I finally get to finish this book.
September 21, 2023
“And every time I come to the end of me, I discover what I deeply wanted all along- real and abundant life in Christ”.
May 7, 2018
I received this book courtesy of Christian Audio
Narrator Thoughts: This Narrator was very good. He was clear and calm. A good listen. While he doesn't have the same passion in his voice as some narrators I've listened to, I thought he did a good job of reading the book.
Book Thoughts: Once again, Kyle challenged me in my faith. I think this book, more then any of his others challenged me.
Coming to the end of me has never been easy, but I can agree with him and say that when I come to the end of me, that is when Jesus' power can begin. It reminded me of the good that comes from coming to the end.
By following in His footsteps we die to ourselves and our way of doing things. The chapter on humility especially hit home. It challenged my pride and reminded me of what I needed to be doing.
This is definitely a worthwhile listen.
You can buy this on Christian Audio, Amazon, or Christianbook.com
Narrator Thoughts: This Narrator was very good. He was clear and calm. A good listen. While he doesn't have the same passion in his voice as some narrators I've listened to, I thought he did a good job of reading the book.
Book Thoughts: Once again, Kyle challenged me in my faith. I think this book, more then any of his others challenged me.
Coming to the end of me has never been easy, but I can agree with him and say that when I come to the end of me, that is when Jesus' power can begin. It reminded me of the good that comes from coming to the end.
By following in His footsteps we die to ourselves and our way of doing things. The chapter on humility especially hit home. It challenged my pride and reminded me of what I needed to be doing.
This is definitely a worthwhile listen.
You can buy this on Christian Audio, Amazon, or Christianbook.com
September 18, 2019
I don’t really know where to start with a review for this book... but this was my second attempt, not because the book was bad, but perhaps because the topic is hard; dying to self is never going to be a fave!! 😂
However, I took a lot from this, but will no doubt have to read it again... and again!
I enjoyed Idleman’s sense of humour (although not his interpretation of a British accent?!), his brutal honesty and his absolute heart for the truth of our Saviour - thank you!
I will be looking out for Mr Idleman’s future reads.
However, I took a lot from this, but will no doubt have to read it again... and again!
I enjoyed Idleman’s sense of humour (although not his interpretation of a British accent?!), his brutal honesty and his absolute heart for the truth of our Saviour - thank you!
I will be looking out for Mr Idleman’s future reads.
July 3, 2018
This book is amazing. Idleman is an awesome writer. The book was thoroughly engaging and vividly brought to life the words and life of Jesus. He made me see things in ways I had never viewed them before and his words made me see truths about myself that I had been oblivious to. To new believers and old ones alike, this book is certainly worth the read (It gave me goosebumps once or twice) and I would definitely recommend it to anyone who wants to get closer to the Lord.
December 25, 2018
Idleman provides a message that I need to read/hear repeatedly. He shares a common Christian theme of realizing the upside down, purpose driven pursuit of Christ versus the achievement driven pursuit that permeates most cultures. I highly recoqmmend his book for any Bible Study group and wish that I was reading it along with a small group. It is an easy read that is relatable, yet challenges you to consider your life's mission.
January 31, 2019
Great read from cover to cover. I love Idleman’s self-deprecating style of writing, and it’s used to poke fun of how we all attempt to live our lives.
The phrase ‘the end of me’ is a signal for the reader to check their own life. I’ll be going back through this book and highlighting each time it’s used and compiling list.
From pg 197: “The journey to the end of me requires a completely different way of looking at the world. It’s not natural and it doesn’t come easy.”
The phrase ‘the end of me’ is a signal for the reader to check their own life. I’ll be going back through this book and highlighting each time it’s used and compiling list.
From pg 197: “The journey to the end of me requires a completely different way of looking at the world. It’s not natural and it doesn’t come easy.”
February 9, 2017
Kyle Idleman does a wonderful job of making himself vulnerable to his audience. As he does so, he contrasts the dichotomy between the world's way and the way of Jesus. It is well written, humorous in places and challenging! I highly recommend.
January 18, 2020
5 stars!
Kyle Idleman remains one of my favorite Christian nonfiction authors of all time. I always adore the balance he has between all the hard hitting biblical truths alongside the sense of humor that rings throughout his books.
Kyle Idleman remains one of my favorite Christian nonfiction authors of all time. I always adore the balance he has between all the hard hitting biblical truths alongside the sense of humor that rings throughout his books.
November 10, 2016
Kyle Idleman's writing style is very accessible and easy to read. He makes some excellent points about the beatitudes and Jesus' ministry in this book. Very well done.
July 25, 2016
This was another awesome book by Kyle Idelman who continually gives remarkable illustrations to highlight his main points. In this particular book, he goes through the paradoxes of the Sermon on the Mount. You will not be disappointed--unless you fail to read it. We're using this book for a student ministries team of high schoolers to prepare for the school year. Please pray for us!
Here are some notes I took:
Introduction
Finish this sentence: Jesus became real when… [Put on Facebook] (12)
[Then he lists numerous ones people posted]
And then I read the one response that seemed to capture them all. In one way or another, what Brian and all my Facebook friends were expressing could be wrapped up in this single response:
Jesus became real when… I came to the end of me. (14)
…the life he invites us to is not just countercultural; it’s counterintuitive. (15)
A Note to Me [letter] (17-19)
PART ONE: WHERE BLESSINGS BEGIN
Ch. 1: Broken to Be Whole
[See the Youtube video: ‘Evolution of Dance.’^1 It is a documentary about a poor community in Paraguay] (23)
Sermon on the Mountainside
…the ‘Great Reversal’ (26)
Blessed are you when you’re so broke you have nothing to offer. (28)
Sinful Simon
You see, there was a protocol for this kind of evening. It was all spelled out in the rules. You’d greet the guest with a kiss of the hand, a sign of welcome. But Simon dispenses with this formality.
Also, foot washing was a daily reality in a dusty culture that revered cleanliness… the host was expected to help wash the visitor’s feet.
Simon blew off this one too. At the very least, he could have offered a bowl of water and let Jesus have at it.
Next on the checklist was anointing the guest’s head with oil… But, you guessed it, no anointment for Jesus.
He isn’t trying and getting it wrong. He isn’t trying at all, and he knows it; everybody in the room knows it. Remember, Simon is a religious leader, and right out in front of all the dignitaries, he’s ignoring the religious rules. Which gives us a clue as to his opinion of the teachings of Jesus. (29)
Beautifully Broken
A dirty woman has become a living embodiment of cleansing. (32)
Trick Question
Which person in the story do you want to be most like? [Simon or the prostitute]
The reason it’s a trick question is because most of us want both, especially those of us who’ve been Christians for a while. Said another way, we want to be made whole without having to be broken.
[It’s obvious the woman is broken.]
But what about Simon? This is a guy who has spent the first twelve years of his life memorizing the first twelve books of the Bible. By fifteen, he has memorized the entire Old Testament. Let that sink in for a moment. It means he can recite nearly three hundred prophecies about the coming Messiah. And at the moment he’s looking across the table at him. (33)
We are ‘Those People’
Sociologist Brene Brown’s Ted Talk on vulnerability has accumulated more than fifteen million hits. A significant factor in its popularity is the plain truth that, as much as we fight it, we long for the freedom to admit we’re broken. We don’t realize our need to do it.
Brown helps us see we’re not alone. Here’s what she says:
We are ‘those people.’ The truth is… we are the others. Most of us are one paycheck, one divorce, one drug-addicted kid, one mental health diagnosis, one serious illness, one sexual assault, one drinking binge, one night of unprotected sex, or one affair away from being ‘those people’—the ones we don’t trust, the ones we pity, the ones we don’t let our children play with, the ones bad things happen to, the ones we don’t want living next door.^3 (34-35)
[See the list of ‘those people’ on page 35]
Real Life Begins
My prayer is, God take my broken pieces and remold them into what seems best to you.
The question is whether or not we are willing to let the cracks show. For some of us, nothing could be more unthinkable. We want to airbrush any mistakes or flaws or scars.
But God looks at our brokenness much more like something called Kintsugi. This is a ceramic restoration process developed in Japan in the fifteen hundreds. Broken ceramic pieces are sealed together, but instead of hiding the cracks, the cracks are boldly high-lighted and traced over with gold.
Normally anything that was broken and refurbished sells at a discount, but not Kintsugi pottery. Most often, the ceramic piece actually turns out to be more beautiful and more valuable than before it was broken. In fact, many collectors have been accused of deliberately breaking prized ceramics so they could be made whole with gold. That sounds a lot like the economy in the kingdom of heaven. The broken are the most valuable. (38)
Ch. 2: Mourn to be Happy
[Don’t you hate waking up in the middle of an awesome dream?]
Dream Intruders
The end of me often comes when my dreams come to an end.
[He gives a long list of possibilities] (42)
Six-Word Sagas
Ernest Hemingway made a bet. I imagine he made a number of them, but this one was with a group of authors over lunch, and it has since become an anecdote.
The guys bet him ten dollars he couldn’t come up with a short story only six words long. Hemingway took the bet, pulled out a napkin, and wrote the following story on it:
For sale, baby shoes, never worn.
[Could Russian novelists have done this? [i.e. Dostoevsky?]
[Give your story using six words. Idleman gives examples on page 43]
You’ve gone from dreaming to mourning. But if things were different? What if you could reverse the equation, wake up from a nightmare to a dream? What if your mourning could lead to a blessing? (44)
[Jesus said, ‘Blessed are…’ What goes through our minds at this moment?]
• Those whose wildest dreams come true.
• Those who get the best jobs.
• Those who marry supermodels.
Here’s how Jesus finishes it: [See Matthew 5:4] (45)
Mourning our Circumstances
Life has a way of waking everybody up at some point. (46)
[Idleman gives a list of ‘It’s a blessing to…’ that we wouldn’t choose ourselves.]
This next one is for you to personalize:
It’s a blessing to _________________________________________________________________________.
(47)
The commentator William Barclay [looked up the Greek word for ‘to mourn’ in this passage, which means:]… the kind of grief which takes a such a hold that it cannot be hidden. (48)
…when we come to the end of ourselves—then we are blessed.
It seems upside down. But maybe the problem is that we’ve spent so much of our lives looking at something upside down that it seems right side up to us. As wild as it sounds, consider the possibility that the whole world is crazy and Jesus has it right. (49)
Blessed by His Presence
In mourning, we experience the blessing of God’s presence. (49)
[See Job—After experiencing much material blessing…]
To Satan’s befuddlement, Job experienced God in a way he never had before. ‘My ears had heard of you,’ he said, ‘but now my eyes have seen you’ (Job 42:5).
…when it’s gone, it leaves an aching cavity, and God is there to fill it up with himself. [See 2 Corinthians 1:3] (50)
[Here’s two more six-word stories:]
God will not waste your pain.
God will not leave you alone.
Eugene Peterson’s The Message paraphrases Matthew 5:4 this way: ‘You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.’ (50-51)
Embrace the Pain
We do everything we can to stay away from suffering in the first place. But when we do suffer, which is inevitable, we do everything we can to stay away from mourning. Then, when we catch ourselves mourning, we do all in our power to make it go away.
We numb ourselves with entertainment. We medicate the pain with drinking, shopping, working, or partying. It’s a grim quest to turn that frown upside down, but we are convinced that’s what it means to be blessed. (51)
Recently Good Morning America told about a man named Jeff Goldblatt. He will be remembered as the founder of Get Over It Day [March 9]. [Google the web site, which is jam-packed with helpful hints for just saying no to grief.]
[Jesus:]…wants you to realize that you can find an incredible blessing hidden in the shadows. And that blessing might be visible only through the lens of your tears. (52)
[Idleman shares a story of a married couple who was trying to live right and one got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.]
The questions were a form of suffering, but there was something else they had to admit—a possibility they never had considered. Maybe something wasn’t just being done to them—but for them. (53)
When disaster comes, we cant see anything bigger than what we’ve lost. But the truth is, God more than fills that space. We begin to see that He’s not just filling that space, but spaces we didn’t even know we had.
Everyone experiences loss. Everyone mourns. But those who follow Jesus find that their pain is not wasted. There is a blessing that seems totally illogical. It requires climbing to the bottom of the deepest pit, without a flashlight, venturing far into the darkness.
But the blessing is there, and it’s worth everything.
Mourning Our Sin
[See Psalm 32]
A century or so ago, our vocabulary was rich in synonyms for sin.
[The Greek NT has 33 words for it.]
You can learn a lot about a society by digging through their heap of discarded words. (55)
I read that a few years ago the Oxford Junior Dictionary… tried to …[remove the word] sin. (56)
If we fail to acknowledge its reality, there can be no mourning. And without mourning there can be no confession. And without confession we miss the richest blessing of God’s forgiveness and grace.
Around 1,600 years ago, Augustine wrote in his Confessions, ‘My sin was all the more incurable because I did not think myself a sinner.’^2
[See Luke 7:47]
[See Psalm 32:3-5] (57)
Denial seems like a good idea at the time. It’s the path of least resistance. But you don’t want to go where that path leads. Sometimes the rugged road is the only one to the best destination.
Have you ever experienced the blessing of facing up to sin? (58)
The Opposite of Mourning
[What do late-night sitcoms build their comedy after? How often do we laugh over things we should mourn over?] (58-59)
[Idleman gives a list of things people can be mourning over]
Where is the Christian who reads the news and sees the sin in our culture and feels the bruising in his inner spirit?
Just understand that in your hesitancy to mourn your sin, you’re also delaying the blessing of God. (59)
[See the end of Psalm 32]
At the end of me is singing and rejoicing!
The Essential Penitential
[See James 4:8-10]
[Idleman gives more questions to unveil the reality of our sin] (61)
[Penitential mourning:]
…usually a period of seven to thirty days (61)
[which involved the whole community]
[Try seven days to do this—even use a string of some type as a reminder on your wrist]
Mourning is true and focused grief… and it’s often marked by tears. Back in the sixteen hundreds, the Puritan Thomas Watson said it this way: ‘Tears melt God’s heart and bind His hand.’ (62)
Ch. 3: Humbled to Be Exalted
[Good news: it’s VERY unlikely we won’t be in an avalanche. However, if you are, spit first. Dig second.]
Turns out one of the biggest mistakes people make when caught in an avalanche is that, once they’re covered over with tons of snow, they dig blindly trying to get out. The dig part is a good idea. Blindly, not so much. It’s too easy to dig in the wrong direction, burrowing deeper in the snow. (63)
Popular Science magazine wrote about one such victim. When rescue teams found his body, they discovered that in his furious attempts to dig out, he’d accidently dug some thirty feet deeper.
This is maybe the only time you ever want to spit in your own face. Because if you do, you’re facing up, and in that direction, up is good.
When Jesus came on the scene as a rabbi, there was a lot of directional confusion.
[In order to get things right, he taught the third beatitude:] (64)
God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth (Matthew 5:5).
[It doesn’t seem like that in our world.]
[See also Luke 18:14]
Directionally Challenged
[See Luke 18] (65)
Remember the prostitute in chapter 1? Even she looked down on the tax man. [Don’t think IRS agent, think worse: IRS agent for terror cells: a traitor and thief]
[It was obvious who Jesus was talking about—Pharisees] (66)
[We naturally think of others and not ourselves in this parable.]
But as soon as we assign those descriptions to other people, we ourselves become the very people Jesus is addressing.
When we hear a good zinger in church, we always try and assume it’s about somebody over in the next pew. We think, I hope she takes this to heart, rather than, Does this fit me? Which, when talking about pride and arrogance, confirms our own guilt. (67)
You May Be a Pharisee If…
[See Matthew 12:34] (69)
• You catch yourself saying, ‘You aren’t going to talk like that to me!’
Pride makes us defensive and unwilling to hear criticism or correction.
It’s also assuming a hierarchy in which we outrank the other person.
…nobody offers you advice because they know it’s not going to end well if they do. (69)
• You catch yourself saying, ‘I’m not going to be the one to apologize.’
[See Proverbs 13:10]
On the very, very rare occasion one of the proud apologizes, he’ll qualify it: ‘I’m sorry—but…’ Qualified apologies never seem to work.
• You catch yourself saying, ‘It’s not fair.’
If I feel I’m more deserving than everybody around me, a lot of things are going to seem unfair. (70)
Here’s a clue: if you have a hard time celebrating with others in their successes or victories, you’re probably suffering from a case of pride. And if you lack gratitude for the good things in your life, it’s the same problem.
If you feel all-deserving, why should you feel thankful for anything? You’ve got it coming to you. If you tend to feel entitled…
• You catch yourself whispering, ‘Did you hear about…’
Pharisees love the latest gossip…it underlines how superior they themselves are.
• You catch yourself saying, ‘I don’t need anybody’s help.’
Notice how the Pharisee in the parable never asks for God’s help? (71)
…he’s got checkmarks in all the right boxes—his giving, his fasting. God really couldn’t get along without him.
Pride keeps us from realizing how desperately we need God.
What are your prayers like? If they are filled with complaining and self-justification…
• You catch yourself saying ‘It’s not me, it’s you.’
…detecting the flaws of others. Yet they seem to cast no reflection in mirrors…pride is blinding. You can’t see the pride in your life because of… well, because of the pride in your life. (72)
• You catch yourself celebrating someone else’s failure.
• You obsess over the opinions of others.
• You’re utterly convinced that your own opinion is the only right one, that your efforts deserve the most credit, that your tastes are the correct (73) ones, that you’re the one who should be talking, that everyone else should be listening.
The problem is that we feed him, we let him grow, we let him give the public prayer, and pretty soon he’s running the show.
Pharisees Get Things Done
The key to understanding your inner Pharisee is that he is all about performance.
Pharisees love giving a testimony almost as much as they love the Internet. (74)
[See Matthew 23:5]
The things they cared about didn’t register with the things God cares about.
Social media is designed to show us at our best. It’s a form of self-publicity, and we tend to post only what we want others to see. (75)
It’s nearly impossible to promote humility through social media. As a matter of fact, we’ve come up with a new concept called ‘the humblebrag’ when people attempt to do this.
A humblebrag, according to a new book on the subject, is the practice of the art of false modesty.
For instance, a businessman Tweets this one:
• Just filed my taxes. They were right, mo money mo problems.
Or a young lady produces this status update:
• I hate when I go into a store to get something to eat and the male staff are too busy hitting on me to get my order right ☹ so annoying!
Or a mother creatively praises her own parenting:
• My perfect little princess brought me breakfast in bed again. So much for watching what I eat today. Oh well…
[Think about bragging after vacations] (76)
Comparisons
Who are your models?
[If you look ‘up’ for someone to inspire you, you likely don’t have pride. If you look at others and find yourself favorable to feel better about yourself, you’re likely prideful.]
Pride is best buddies with insecurity. (77)
It speaks volumes that the substance of this man’s prayer [Luke 18] is comparison, which really isn’t a part of prayer at all.
[Comparisons are a trap.]
Pride: you can run, but you can’t hide.
An ‘I’ Problem
The greatest danger in life is anything other than Jesus that becomes a foundation for our confidence.
We find it difficult to talk about our faith without talking about what we do for God, as the Pharisee does. We may not offer the same prayer he did, but we tend to have a righteousness resume available at a moment’s notice. (78)
Four times the Pharisee uses the first-person pronoun I.
If there’s a pride index, it’s the number of times you use first-person pronouns per hundred words. (79)
Meanwhile, Across the Room
While the Pharisee is full of himself, the tax collector is at the end of himself. (79)
When you’re putting on a show, you never stand at a distance.
This man has come for a real encounter with God, and no one else matters.
[Jesus continues on with humility in Matthew 6:5-6. See The Message:]
And when you come before God, don’t turn that into a theatrical production either. All these people making a regular show out of their prayers, hoping for stardom! Do you think God sits in a box seat? Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace. (80)
Yet God is not impressed. He wants us to sit in his theater and to behold his glory because there is no other glory.
To-Do List, To-Don’t List
…people come to church looking for solutions…they ask for action steps. Bullet points, in careful order, for resolving the problem. ‘What can I do?’ We always assume the answer is in the word do.
And while sometimes we have some dos that need to get done, the truth is there’s no substitute for humbling ourselves. At this point (81)
someone says, ‘Sure, I get it. Be more humble. But there’s got to be something I can, you know, do. Other than be more humble.’
It’s so much easier to do than to be. To do is to take some action. To be requires real transformation.
You want to know what to do? Fine, we can do it that way.
• Stand at a distance.
• Beat your chest.
• Pray this: ‘God, have mercy on me.’
• Mean it.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that last one is the key. It happens when you humble yourself.
Are you interested in some don’ts?
• Don’t make your case.
• Don’t pull out your resume.
• Don’t ask for blessings by comparing yourself to others.
• Don’t tell God all the reasons you deserve to be blessed.
• Don’t congratulate God for having you as a child.
• Don’t thank God for all the hard work you’ve put in.
There is no substitute for humbling yourself before God. The humble heart pleases God. The humble cry invites him to demonstrate his power. (82)
[See Psalm 18:27; Proverbs 3:34; Isaiah 66:2]
[Unfortunately the rest got cut off, but are in my personal notes.]
Here are some notes I took:
Introduction
Finish this sentence: Jesus became real when… [Put on Facebook] (12)
[Then he lists numerous ones people posted]
And then I read the one response that seemed to capture them all. In one way or another, what Brian and all my Facebook friends were expressing could be wrapped up in this single response:
Jesus became real when… I came to the end of me. (14)
…the life he invites us to is not just countercultural; it’s counterintuitive. (15)
A Note to Me [letter] (17-19)
PART ONE: WHERE BLESSINGS BEGIN
Ch. 1: Broken to Be Whole
[See the Youtube video: ‘Evolution of Dance.’^1 It is a documentary about a poor community in Paraguay] (23)
Sermon on the Mountainside
…the ‘Great Reversal’ (26)
Blessed are you when you’re so broke you have nothing to offer. (28)
Sinful Simon
You see, there was a protocol for this kind of evening. It was all spelled out in the rules. You’d greet the guest with a kiss of the hand, a sign of welcome. But Simon dispenses with this formality.
Also, foot washing was a daily reality in a dusty culture that revered cleanliness… the host was expected to help wash the visitor’s feet.
Simon blew off this one too. At the very least, he could have offered a bowl of water and let Jesus have at it.
Next on the checklist was anointing the guest’s head with oil… But, you guessed it, no anointment for Jesus.
He isn’t trying and getting it wrong. He isn’t trying at all, and he knows it; everybody in the room knows it. Remember, Simon is a religious leader, and right out in front of all the dignitaries, he’s ignoring the religious rules. Which gives us a clue as to his opinion of the teachings of Jesus. (29)
Beautifully Broken
A dirty woman has become a living embodiment of cleansing. (32)
Trick Question
Which person in the story do you want to be most like? [Simon or the prostitute]
The reason it’s a trick question is because most of us want both, especially those of us who’ve been Christians for a while. Said another way, we want to be made whole without having to be broken.
[It’s obvious the woman is broken.]
But what about Simon? This is a guy who has spent the first twelve years of his life memorizing the first twelve books of the Bible. By fifteen, he has memorized the entire Old Testament. Let that sink in for a moment. It means he can recite nearly three hundred prophecies about the coming Messiah. And at the moment he’s looking across the table at him. (33)
We are ‘Those People’
Sociologist Brene Brown’s Ted Talk on vulnerability has accumulated more than fifteen million hits. A significant factor in its popularity is the plain truth that, as much as we fight it, we long for the freedom to admit we’re broken. We don’t realize our need to do it.
Brown helps us see we’re not alone. Here’s what she says:
We are ‘those people.’ The truth is… we are the others. Most of us are one paycheck, one divorce, one drug-addicted kid, one mental health diagnosis, one serious illness, one sexual assault, one drinking binge, one night of unprotected sex, or one affair away from being ‘those people’—the ones we don’t trust, the ones we pity, the ones we don’t let our children play with, the ones bad things happen to, the ones we don’t want living next door.^3 (34-35)
[See the list of ‘those people’ on page 35]
Real Life Begins
My prayer is, God take my broken pieces and remold them into what seems best to you.
The question is whether or not we are willing to let the cracks show. For some of us, nothing could be more unthinkable. We want to airbrush any mistakes or flaws or scars.
But God looks at our brokenness much more like something called Kintsugi. This is a ceramic restoration process developed in Japan in the fifteen hundreds. Broken ceramic pieces are sealed together, but instead of hiding the cracks, the cracks are boldly high-lighted and traced over with gold.
Normally anything that was broken and refurbished sells at a discount, but not Kintsugi pottery. Most often, the ceramic piece actually turns out to be more beautiful and more valuable than before it was broken. In fact, many collectors have been accused of deliberately breaking prized ceramics so they could be made whole with gold. That sounds a lot like the economy in the kingdom of heaven. The broken are the most valuable. (38)
Ch. 2: Mourn to be Happy
[Don’t you hate waking up in the middle of an awesome dream?]
Dream Intruders
The end of me often comes when my dreams come to an end.
[He gives a long list of possibilities] (42)
Six-Word Sagas
Ernest Hemingway made a bet. I imagine he made a number of them, but this one was with a group of authors over lunch, and it has since become an anecdote.
The guys bet him ten dollars he couldn’t come up with a short story only six words long. Hemingway took the bet, pulled out a napkin, and wrote the following story on it:
For sale, baby shoes, never worn.
[Could Russian novelists have done this? [i.e. Dostoevsky?]
[Give your story using six words. Idleman gives examples on page 43]
You’ve gone from dreaming to mourning. But if things were different? What if you could reverse the equation, wake up from a nightmare to a dream? What if your mourning could lead to a blessing? (44)
[Jesus said, ‘Blessed are…’ What goes through our minds at this moment?]
• Those whose wildest dreams come true.
• Those who get the best jobs.
• Those who marry supermodels.
Here’s how Jesus finishes it: [See Matthew 5:4] (45)
Mourning our Circumstances
Life has a way of waking everybody up at some point. (46)
[Idleman gives a list of ‘It’s a blessing to…’ that we wouldn’t choose ourselves.]
This next one is for you to personalize:
It’s a blessing to _________________________________________________________________________.
(47)
The commentator William Barclay [looked up the Greek word for ‘to mourn’ in this passage, which means:]… the kind of grief which takes a such a hold that it cannot be hidden. (48)
…when we come to the end of ourselves—then we are blessed.
It seems upside down. But maybe the problem is that we’ve spent so much of our lives looking at something upside down that it seems right side up to us. As wild as it sounds, consider the possibility that the whole world is crazy and Jesus has it right. (49)
Blessed by His Presence
In mourning, we experience the blessing of God’s presence. (49)
[See Job—After experiencing much material blessing…]
To Satan’s befuddlement, Job experienced God in a way he never had before. ‘My ears had heard of you,’ he said, ‘but now my eyes have seen you’ (Job 42:5).
…when it’s gone, it leaves an aching cavity, and God is there to fill it up with himself. [See 2 Corinthians 1:3] (50)
[Here’s two more six-word stories:]
God will not waste your pain.
God will not leave you alone.
Eugene Peterson’s The Message paraphrases Matthew 5:4 this way: ‘You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.’ (50-51)
Embrace the Pain
We do everything we can to stay away from suffering in the first place. But when we do suffer, which is inevitable, we do everything we can to stay away from mourning. Then, when we catch ourselves mourning, we do all in our power to make it go away.
We numb ourselves with entertainment. We medicate the pain with drinking, shopping, working, or partying. It’s a grim quest to turn that frown upside down, but we are convinced that’s what it means to be blessed. (51)
Recently Good Morning America told about a man named Jeff Goldblatt. He will be remembered as the founder of Get Over It Day [March 9]. [Google the web site, which is jam-packed with helpful hints for just saying no to grief.]
[Jesus:]…wants you to realize that you can find an incredible blessing hidden in the shadows. And that blessing might be visible only through the lens of your tears. (52)
[Idleman shares a story of a married couple who was trying to live right and one got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.]
The questions were a form of suffering, but there was something else they had to admit—a possibility they never had considered. Maybe something wasn’t just being done to them—but for them. (53)
When disaster comes, we cant see anything bigger than what we’ve lost. But the truth is, God more than fills that space. We begin to see that He’s not just filling that space, but spaces we didn’t even know we had.
Everyone experiences loss. Everyone mourns. But those who follow Jesus find that their pain is not wasted. There is a blessing that seems totally illogical. It requires climbing to the bottom of the deepest pit, without a flashlight, venturing far into the darkness.
But the blessing is there, and it’s worth everything.
Mourning Our Sin
[See Psalm 32]
A century or so ago, our vocabulary was rich in synonyms for sin.
[The Greek NT has 33 words for it.]
You can learn a lot about a society by digging through their heap of discarded words. (55)
I read that a few years ago the Oxford Junior Dictionary… tried to …[remove the word] sin. (56)
If we fail to acknowledge its reality, there can be no mourning. And without mourning there can be no confession. And without confession we miss the richest blessing of God’s forgiveness and grace.
Around 1,600 years ago, Augustine wrote in his Confessions, ‘My sin was all the more incurable because I did not think myself a sinner.’^2
[See Luke 7:47]
[See Psalm 32:3-5] (57)
Denial seems like a good idea at the time. It’s the path of least resistance. But you don’t want to go where that path leads. Sometimes the rugged road is the only one to the best destination.
Have you ever experienced the blessing of facing up to sin? (58)
The Opposite of Mourning
[What do late-night sitcoms build their comedy after? How often do we laugh over things we should mourn over?] (58-59)
[Idleman gives a list of things people can be mourning over]
Where is the Christian who reads the news and sees the sin in our culture and feels the bruising in his inner spirit?
Just understand that in your hesitancy to mourn your sin, you’re also delaying the blessing of God. (59)
[See the end of Psalm 32]
At the end of me is singing and rejoicing!
The Essential Penitential
[See James 4:8-10]
[Idleman gives more questions to unveil the reality of our sin] (61)
[Penitential mourning:]
…usually a period of seven to thirty days (61)
[which involved the whole community]
[Try seven days to do this—even use a string of some type as a reminder on your wrist]
Mourning is true and focused grief… and it’s often marked by tears. Back in the sixteen hundreds, the Puritan Thomas Watson said it this way: ‘Tears melt God’s heart and bind His hand.’ (62)
Ch. 3: Humbled to Be Exalted
[Good news: it’s VERY unlikely we won’t be in an avalanche. However, if you are, spit first. Dig second.]
Turns out one of the biggest mistakes people make when caught in an avalanche is that, once they’re covered over with tons of snow, they dig blindly trying to get out. The dig part is a good idea. Blindly, not so much. It’s too easy to dig in the wrong direction, burrowing deeper in the snow. (63)
Popular Science magazine wrote about one such victim. When rescue teams found his body, they discovered that in his furious attempts to dig out, he’d accidently dug some thirty feet deeper.
This is maybe the only time you ever want to spit in your own face. Because if you do, you’re facing up, and in that direction, up is good.
When Jesus came on the scene as a rabbi, there was a lot of directional confusion.
[In order to get things right, he taught the third beatitude:] (64)
God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth (Matthew 5:5).
[It doesn’t seem like that in our world.]
[See also Luke 18:14]
Directionally Challenged
[See Luke 18] (65)
Remember the prostitute in chapter 1? Even she looked down on the tax man. [Don’t think IRS agent, think worse: IRS agent for terror cells: a traitor and thief]
[It was obvious who Jesus was talking about—Pharisees] (66)
[We naturally think of others and not ourselves in this parable.]
But as soon as we assign those descriptions to other people, we ourselves become the very people Jesus is addressing.
When we hear a good zinger in church, we always try and assume it’s about somebody over in the next pew. We think, I hope she takes this to heart, rather than, Does this fit me? Which, when talking about pride and arrogance, confirms our own guilt. (67)
You May Be a Pharisee If…
[See Matthew 12:34] (69)
• You catch yourself saying, ‘You aren’t going to talk like that to me!’
Pride makes us defensive and unwilling to hear criticism or correction.
It’s also assuming a hierarchy in which we outrank the other person.
…nobody offers you advice because they know it’s not going to end well if they do. (69)
• You catch yourself saying, ‘I’m not going to be the one to apologize.’
[See Proverbs 13:10]
On the very, very rare occasion one of the proud apologizes, he’ll qualify it: ‘I’m sorry—but…’ Qualified apologies never seem to work.
• You catch yourself saying, ‘It’s not fair.’
If I feel I’m more deserving than everybody around me, a lot of things are going to seem unfair. (70)
Here’s a clue: if you have a hard time celebrating with others in their successes or victories, you’re probably suffering from a case of pride. And if you lack gratitude for the good things in your life, it’s the same problem.
If you feel all-deserving, why should you feel thankful for anything? You’ve got it coming to you. If you tend to feel entitled…
• You catch yourself whispering, ‘Did you hear about…’
Pharisees love the latest gossip…it underlines how superior they themselves are.
• You catch yourself saying, ‘I don’t need anybody’s help.’
Notice how the Pharisee in the parable never asks for God’s help? (71)
…he’s got checkmarks in all the right boxes—his giving, his fasting. God really couldn’t get along without him.
Pride keeps us from realizing how desperately we need God.
What are your prayers like? If they are filled with complaining and self-justification…
• You catch yourself saying ‘It’s not me, it’s you.’
…detecting the flaws of others. Yet they seem to cast no reflection in mirrors…pride is blinding. You can’t see the pride in your life because of… well, because of the pride in your life. (72)
• You catch yourself celebrating someone else’s failure.
• You obsess over the opinions of others.
• You’re utterly convinced that your own opinion is the only right one, that your efforts deserve the most credit, that your tastes are the correct (73) ones, that you’re the one who should be talking, that everyone else should be listening.
The problem is that we feed him, we let him grow, we let him give the public prayer, and pretty soon he’s running the show.
Pharisees Get Things Done
The key to understanding your inner Pharisee is that he is all about performance.
Pharisees love giving a testimony almost as much as they love the Internet. (74)
[See Matthew 23:5]
The things they cared about didn’t register with the things God cares about.
Social media is designed to show us at our best. It’s a form of self-publicity, and we tend to post only what we want others to see. (75)
It’s nearly impossible to promote humility through social media. As a matter of fact, we’ve come up with a new concept called ‘the humblebrag’ when people attempt to do this.
A humblebrag, according to a new book on the subject, is the practice of the art of false modesty.
For instance, a businessman Tweets this one:
• Just filed my taxes. They were right, mo money mo problems.
Or a young lady produces this status update:
• I hate when I go into a store to get something to eat and the male staff are too busy hitting on me to get my order right ☹ so annoying!
Or a mother creatively praises her own parenting:
• My perfect little princess brought me breakfast in bed again. So much for watching what I eat today. Oh well…
[Think about bragging after vacations] (76)
Comparisons
Who are your models?
[If you look ‘up’ for someone to inspire you, you likely don’t have pride. If you look at others and find yourself favorable to feel better about yourself, you’re likely prideful.]
Pride is best buddies with insecurity. (77)
It speaks volumes that the substance of this man’s prayer [Luke 18] is comparison, which really isn’t a part of prayer at all.
[Comparisons are a trap.]
Pride: you can run, but you can’t hide.
An ‘I’ Problem
The greatest danger in life is anything other than Jesus that becomes a foundation for our confidence.
We find it difficult to talk about our faith without talking about what we do for God, as the Pharisee does. We may not offer the same prayer he did, but we tend to have a righteousness resume available at a moment’s notice. (78)
Four times the Pharisee uses the first-person pronoun I.
If there’s a pride index, it’s the number of times you use first-person pronouns per hundred words. (79)
Meanwhile, Across the Room
While the Pharisee is full of himself, the tax collector is at the end of himself. (79)
When you’re putting on a show, you never stand at a distance.
This man has come for a real encounter with God, and no one else matters.
[Jesus continues on with humility in Matthew 6:5-6. See The Message:]
And when you come before God, don’t turn that into a theatrical production either. All these people making a regular show out of their prayers, hoping for stardom! Do you think God sits in a box seat? Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace. (80)
Yet God is not impressed. He wants us to sit in his theater and to behold his glory because there is no other glory.
To-Do List, To-Don’t List
…people come to church looking for solutions…they ask for action steps. Bullet points, in careful order, for resolving the problem. ‘What can I do?’ We always assume the answer is in the word do.
And while sometimes we have some dos that need to get done, the truth is there’s no substitute for humbling ourselves. At this point (81)
someone says, ‘Sure, I get it. Be more humble. But there’s got to be something I can, you know, do. Other than be more humble.’
It’s so much easier to do than to be. To do is to take some action. To be requires real transformation.
You want to know what to do? Fine, we can do it that way.
• Stand at a distance.
• Beat your chest.
• Pray this: ‘God, have mercy on me.’
• Mean it.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that last one is the key. It happens when you humble yourself.
Are you interested in some don’ts?
• Don’t make your case.
• Don’t pull out your resume.
• Don’t ask for blessings by comparing yourself to others.
• Don’t tell God all the reasons you deserve to be blessed.
• Don’t congratulate God for having you as a child.
• Don’t thank God for all the hard work you’ve put in.
There is no substitute for humbling yourself before God. The humble heart pleases God. The humble cry invites him to demonstrate his power. (82)
[See Psalm 18:27; Proverbs 3:34; Isaiah 66:2]
[Unfortunately the rest got cut off, but are in my personal notes.]
June 9, 2024
Kyle Idleman hält mir einen Spiegel hin. Und ich kann entscheiden, ob ich mein Spiegelbild betrachte oder wie ein Pharisäer gekonnt ignoriere, das mehr zum Glauben und (m)einer Beziehung zu Gott gehört als religiöse Vorschriften einzuhalten. Der Autor ist sich seiner eigenen Fehler bewusst und geht verschiedene Themen menschlich und christlich an.
December 31, 2024
What a heartfelt and eye-opening read! I had this book for a while and read here and there for the last couple of years and finally finished it. It challenges you to let go of pride and embrace humility. A couple of things that resonated deeper were, “God will not waste your pain," which reminded me that struggles could lead to growth. Another gem was “Without seeing the depths of sin, we’ll never understand the heights of God’s love and grace." This book was all about shedding our ego and living more authentically. With relatable stories and a down-to-earth vibe, this would be a great book for anyone looking to grow personally & spiritually.
January 24, 2022
Not a comprehensive review, but a quote that sums up much of the book’s emphasis: “God sends no one away empty except those who are full of themselves.”
July 16, 2023
I’d give this book 4.5 stars if I could! honesty one of my favorite faith-based books I’ve ever read
May 1, 2025
A very good reminder of what dying to ourselves looks like. First time reading an Idleman book, I enjoyed the quippy and sarcastic humour. The honesty and humility was also refreshing.
April 24, 2023
Everyone needs to read this book. Jesus is the opposite of everything society tells us today. Until we come to the end of ourselves, it will be a difficult way to life everlasting. Very powerful.
October 14, 2023
finally ❤️❤️❤️
December 16, 2023
I enjoyed the author's conversational style of writing, though I am not used to it. Also, his use of sarcasm took me off guard, though in a good way. He presents Biblical lessons of self denial and yielding to Christ.
February 10, 2020
I loved how Idleman organized his study of the Sermon on the Mount (the Beatitudes), for example: brokenness is the way to wholeness, mourning is the path to blessing, and emptiness is required in order to know true fullness. His personal anecdotes introduce the ideas well, and I like how challenging each chapter is. I paired the reading of the book with the YouVersion Devotional which took snippets of the chapters and then highlighted specific Biblical passages corresponding with the teaching. The disqualified to be chosen chapter resonated with me most of all.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 198 reviews