L'Asperger au féminin : Comment favoriser l'autonomie des femmes atteintes du syndrome d'Asperger

by Rudy Simone

Le syndrome d'Asperger est moins fréquemment diagnostiqué chez les filles que chez les garçons, et même une fois les symptômes identifiés, il est généralement difficile de bénéficier d'un soutien approprié. Les stratégies d'adaptation déployées par les femmes atteintes du syndrome d'Asperger quel que soit leur âge masquent souvent les difficultés, les déficits, les défis et l'immense solitude auxquels elles se trouvent confrontées.

Ce livre est essentiel pour les femmes e tous âges ayant reçu le diagnostic du syndrome d'Asperger mais aussi pour celles qui pensent en être atteintes. En s'aidant des témoignages de femmes Asperger et des réflexions de leur entourage, l'auteur ne manque pas d'identifier les combats récurrents et les domaines pour lesquels les Aspergirls ont besoin de soutien, d'informations et de conseils.

Rudy Simone évoque les différents aspects de la vie personnelle et professionnelle d'une Aspergirl, qu'il s'agisse des premiers reproches essuyés, du sentiment trop fréquent de culpabilité, des compétences particulières ou encore des relations amicales, des histoires d'amour et du mariage. L'emploi, la carrière, les rituels et routines sont autant de sujets abordés dans l'ouvrage, de même que la dépression, les effondrements émotionnels et le sentiment d'être incomprise des autres. Deux chapitres s'adressent aux parents afin de les aider à mieux comprendre les défis associés au SA et à y réagir d'une façon positive. Pour finir, le livre propose une liste des principaux traits des filles avec SA et les différences entre les femmes et les hommes Asperger.

Genres: Nonfiction, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Psychology, Self Help, Mental Health, Aspergers, Health

242 pages, Paperback

First published July 15, 2010

About the author

Rudy Simone is an Aspergirl, writer, speaker and AS consultant. She is the author of 22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man with Asperger's Syndrome and Aspergirls. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, California.

Reviews

[Nicole · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought the first half of this book was very good, showing how the core elements of aspergers manifest in daily life in different ways for different women and girls. However, about halfway through it seems like the author stopped taking in as many perspectives, or something, because what she was talking about stopped being relevant to me.

I have aspergers, but I don't get temper meltdowns or have depression. She seems to say that all aspergirls have these problems, but you don't have to have those problems to be an asperrgirl. I know I'm lucky not to have those problems and that they are problems for many aspergirls, so I'm glad she included them, but she should acknowledge in some way that those problems are not universal.

One area I think the book was lacking in was a discussion of social and/or generalized anxiety. It was touched on many times, but there was never a discussion dedicated to it, which I think is a shame because I know that is a common problem encountered by aspergirls. Another subject I wish it had touched on was Queer aspergirls. The romance section was entirely focused on male partners, and I wish she would have acknowledged in this chapter that some aspergirls aren't straight.

One final negative point: this book relies on a lot of pseudoscience, most particularly the last chapter about gastrointestinal problems. Anecdotes and studies/surveys without a control ARE NOT SCIENCE AND DO NOT PROVE ANYTHING. The author gives a list of 'gastrointestinal problems' (list includes migraines) and says that 9/10 aspergirls have these problems. HOWEVER, the list is so broad (includes very common problems such as heartburn) that I'm sure if you gave this survey to a representative sample of NTs you would get 9/10 people having at least one of these problems.

As much as I appreciated the first half of the book, especially the section on mutism, I wish I hadn't forked $10 over for it, because large parts of it were not relevant to me, and, being a biology major, the pseudoscience really, really, really bugged me. I would give the first half 4.5/5 stars and the second half 1.5/5 stars.

[Karen Harper Ren Ruggiero · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is about Rudy Simone's life experience as an "Aspergirl." She comes across as bitter and her views are anything but empowering. She states that people with AS should embrace their unique strengths and then goes on to suggest that autism is caused by the mythical "leaky gut" and that symptoms can be mitigated by taking certain supplements. This is pseudoscience at its best. She also claims that Aspergirls have psychic powers. I'm not kidding. If you are a parent considering giving this book to your daughter, please read it thoroughly first. Your daughter deserves accurate, scientifically-based information about AS. Simone paints a bleak picture for Aspergirls, suggesting that they are unlikely to complete college or find suitable mates without a lot of extra support. Her self-loathing is evident in her writing and I do believe her views could be harmful to young women. I hope another, better-qualified advocate will write a book on empowerment for Aspie girls. This one fails miserably.

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a book that definitely gave me a lot to think about... because even though I'm positive my computer design engineer father has Aspergers, it never occurred to me until recently that I might have it. I'm now pretty sure that I do - the reasons are too numerous to list, but having had the same breakfast for the past 20+ years and finding my weird pattern-matching ability described as "fluid intelligence" and an Aspergers savant skill... Yeah.

I also had a lot of trouble with this book, because it seemed too touchy-feely, without enough references beyond the author's other books. And then I hit a sentence that exponentially increased my resistance to the book: "...depression exists because there's a problem in your life." Oh, hellafuckno - sometimes it does, to be sure, but sometimes it's a purely biochemical sort of thing that you have little control over.

[Jess · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think the subtitle should have been Empowering Ablebodied CisHet White Females with AS, because wow it did not take an intersectional approach to this topic at all.

The good:
- a fast, easy read
- a lot of things in here that I related to

The bad:
- it was very cisheteronormative
- it did not talk about the societal context we live in at all. There was a lot of mention that aspergirls often demonstrate traits that are more socially accepted than asperboys, but no mention of the social conditioning that leads to this.
- the section on depression made me angry
- there was some bad pseudoscience in the second half

[Desiree Loeven · Rating 1 out of 5]

Self-centered writing claiming to speak for all asperger women while obviously drawing from personal experience/thinking. Quoted other aspergirls without connecting us to the plight/journey of them. Consistently uses we in place of I and drove me mad with hypocritical statements. I put it down halfway through. Sorely disappointed and probably too harsh as a result. Overall, annoying and unhelpful. Suggest Be Different: Adventures of a Free Range Aspergian by John Elder Robison instead.

[Anna Lear · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book embodies a disturbing paradox, pointed out to me by someone close to this topic personally: on the one hand, Simone appropriates a clinical label (which is now part of Autism Spectrum Disorder, far less "cool" than Asperger's BTW) to give weight to her creation of a new identity, "Aspergirl'; yet on the other hand she essentially dismisses the disciplines of psychiatry and psychology as backwards and ineffective. This feels disingenuous, a calculated move to gather in those feeling like outsiders and then isolate them from the discipline that would, in my mind, give concrete, data-backed answers and recommendations... which might not validate Simone's viewpoint, all the more reason for her to dismiss and discredit it.

I was a quirky, smart, sometimes painfully awkward girl, and I've known many quirky girls and women in my lifetime. All of us grew and adapted; a few better than others, but not a single one of us would I label with Asperger's or autism. As a mental health clinician I see girls and women with a wide range of abilities and temperaments and issues, and perhaps one so far meets the criteria for ASD because she experiences actual impairment - not just discomfort - in various life domains. What good is it to label an entire range of girls and women who don't meet society's norms but still function well? Simone seems hell-bent, frankly, on doing just that, and I wonder, again, how this constructed identity (with a truly "heavy" clinical label of Austism now) helps people. Really, what's wrong with being "just quirky"?

To me, this book feels very cultish, like, look, you're part of this unique group of girls and women, and it's all really fabulous and any trouble you have is either society's misunderstanding of you or the psychologists' misunderstanding or... someone else's fault. Yes, society has rigid roles and expectations, and we should celebrate differences and unique abilities rather than burden people with a sense of being "not enough." But to clinically label people who really are doing okay, especially with a label that applies to people - true autistics, who along with their families far more often struggle with severe mental, cognitive, and emotional difficulties - kind of offends me. Autism is not "cool," it is, when properly diagnosed by a trained, sensitive, and yes, compassionate clinician, a serious issue usually requiring intensive lifelong care. I am not an Aspergirl. My daughter is not an Aspergirl. My neighbor's daughter diagnosed with autism at age 2 is not an Aspergirl, and her mother said she almost threw the book out a window after reading about 3 paragraphs.

[Jen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nope. Opinions presented as facts, too many generalizations and stereotypes, the claim that females with ASD are psychic... a big nope.

[Jeanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've struggled with writing this review, because this book has good qualities and I think it's very helpful for someone who suspects that they or their child has AS. However, it is heavily slanted by the personal experiences and point of view of the author. So much so that at times it put me off or distracted me from the information I wanted.

I would recommend this book to teen and adult readers, but there's not much that can help a young child. Though there are stories that can help the parent of a young child better understand their behavior. I would also recommend this book to anyone interested in better understanding AS, and especially for anyone looking to better understand how gender is a factor in diagnose and social acceptance of disabilities like AS and Autism.

I ESPECIALLY recommend this book to mothers of autistic children. I suspect that many of us actually have undiagnosed AS and reading this book really highlights the similarities I share with my children and helped me better understand and empathize with them.

On the whole this a good, book, a fast read and very informative. I just wish there had been some other, contrasting opinions and experiences to balance the author's views.

[Bridgett · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked reading this book about autistic females and am autistic myself, though most of the women described are higher functioning than me. I looked more "typically" autistic as a child and continue to struggle with daily living tasks as an adult. I related a lot to the discussion on relationships and meltdowns (I liked the idea of "depression meltdowns" as I experience those, as well, though that's partly due to my bipolar). I do not believe autism is caused by gut/stomach issues, though, which the book delved into toward the end. Though I will admit it seems like a lot of autistics have stomach issues, as well as things like depression or anxiety. I don't know how much information was "new" to me, but things were presented in a new manner, at least.

[Helena · Rating 2 out of 5]

My first impression of this book was that it is a load of anecdotal magical thinking. The author interviewed an unknown number of women for this book. When talking about their general experiences she always used vague words like, some, most, etc. There is nothing scientific about this book. If you are a skeptic like me, don't read it. The authors psychic powers will offend you.

As it goes on, the author seems to grow a little but is still writing from crazy town. Her advice to a tween/teen audience is the only worthwhile part of this book. (Little sections at the end of the chapters.)

[Halcyon · Rating 1 out of 5]

1 star.

What I expected: A book about women/girls with ASS (very unfortunate initials here) and their experiences.
Especially because a lot of books about autism are really male focussed and women on the spectrum tend to be overlooked.

But I got a book with SOME of this. Sprinkled inbetween the pages there were experiences told by women on the spectrum. I found these to be probably the best part of the book, to be honest. I wish there was more of it. Also, each chapter ended with advice for either the 'girls' themselves or how parents could help their child, which might help some people.

Then shit got weird. There were lots of things I disliked.

-The constant use of 'we'. I get it, maybe it was a author's choice to 'include' the reader this way. But it also made me feel that she thinks every woman/girl with autism experiences everything the same way like its written down in this book.

-I guess Gay, bi, asexual, trans, aromantic, nonbinary etc people don't exist. Very, very heterosexual. Heteronomative or however you spell it. Also not everybody wants a husband. But I got the idea from the book that netting a husband is 'worth it' because 'autism ladies are naieve, childlike and need protection :)))' and so that they are cared for like a stereotypical 50's housewife.

-Apparantly all the women with autism can be considered childlike, naive and are never fully mature, even as adults. Also when you grow up, apparantly non austitic people leave 'childish' things behind them like games, animated movies and certain types of music. At least the book tells people this.
Meanwhile in the real world there are adults that absolutely adore Disney, sleep with plushies because they might have fallen in love with how cute it was, got it from a dear partner/friend. Many adults play games, hell look at things like pokemon! Adults collect things from their favorite shows/books, cosplay at cons. I could go on for a long time.

-What got me the most are the chapters about depression and autism and gut health. I found the 'advice' of giving a person who's on the spectrum just a third of the prescribed medicationdose a non autistic person need actually very dangerous? Or at least risky, and something that should not be done without consideration and communication.
Also apparantly people with autism might have it because they ALL have gut problems? And you should use dietary supplements and eat non-processed foods and when possible no animal products, also sugar is bad guys. Ok then....I'm al for eating less sugar and staying healthy. But I also know that often non-processed stuff or so called healthier brands of food are also WAY more expensive. And the book mentions that women with ASS have a high chance of dealing with poverty so....there you go. I found it to be completely understandable if people opt to go for the less healthy BUT cheaper brands of food, especially if they live with other people.

-There's a lot of woowoo here. See, I guess if you have autism you are psyschic. Also God apparantly made you 'special' if I have to believe Deborah at the end of the book. Kind of an asshole 'I made you very special :DD have fun navigating this chaotic world in which lots of people might hurt you, make it harder for you or just plain don't understand-and don't want to-I love you :DD'---An asshole God.

If you want to give this a try, try getting it either reallllyyyy cheaply secondhand or just borrow it from the library.

[elstaffe · Rating 1 out of 5]

I picked up this book because it was recommended as a further reading resource at the end of Helen Hoang's The Kiss Quotient and I was curious (and appreciated the title pun). I realized pretty quickly, however, that even though it was only published in 2009, the changes in the way people think and talk about the autism spectrum between then and now made this book more of a time capsule than I'd expected.

As I was reading, I was confronted with my own sloppy mental mapping of what Asperger's was—I think that in my head (and certainly in 2009), the vague definition I had was "being on the spectrum and being high-functioning" (not in a pejorative sense, but in the literal ability-to-function-well-in-a-world-designed-for-the-neurotypical sense). However, as I was reading this book and thinking about the neurodiverse people I know, I realized that was my own misconception, because not everyone on the spectrum who is high-functioning fits into the Asperger's intersection of traits and gifts and struggles. This realization made me further realize that what I really wanted to read was an investigation of the different ways nonbinary, trans, and cis-women of different backgrounds experience being on the spectrum (in opposition to the standard popular narrative of white cis-men with autism or Asperger's), rather than just about women with Asperger's.

I know that for many people (including some that I know), being Aspie is (still) part of their identity, which is great—celebrate yourself! Embrace your differences from and similarities to others in whatever way you want, as long as it is not harmful to others or yourself! But for me reading this in 2019, it felt out-of-date in its lack of intersectionality.

As an example, here's an excerpt from the chapter "Gender Roles and Identity":

"Though we may not feel particularly womanly, others will still see us as such and measure our behavior against nonautistic females, when in reality I feel it would be more appropriate and fair to measure our behavior against a man's—after all, men are not expected to be socially adept, or have an abundance of nurturing feelings. This would be a much fairer standard of measure and other Aspergirls agree" (62).

Whether it's because of the author's own views of gender identity or because of the time in which it was written, this just does not make sense to me, reading these words in 2019.

There were also a couple of passages that particularly disturbed me because they seemed to conflate the author's experience with the experience of all women with Asperger's, although I'm still not sure how much of this is the intrinsic content of the passages and how much of it is what I brought to it. Two examples below:
"Autistic people have an innocence, a childlike quality, regardless of age and education" (47).

"PSYCHIC SENSITIVITY
That is not a misprint. I believe that in some cases, our sense are heightened and are almost animal-like [...] Again this may be more germane to females, as psychic sensitivity (woman's intuition) is somewhat split along gender lines anyway.
[...] I can tell you that I dreamt of 9/11 hours before it happened and also had a vision of the 2004 tsunami when I was in Thailand, ten months before it occurred. I'm sure you won't believe that, but you might agree that cats and other animals can sense earthquakes, even though that too is not proven by science. Just because science can't prove it—yet—doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

I believe that this is a large part of why we have difficulty getting along with others. If someone is smiling and saying one thing but psychically we are hearing something completely different, we will get confused and want to run away. This often conflicts with appearances and what others tell me, causing me to doubt my own intuition. I usually turn out to be right. A more cynical person might call it a self-fulfilling prophecy. The misperception of this sensitivity is that we are hard to get along with...paranoid" (40). (I normally wouldn't reproduce this much text from a book, but in this case I wanted to provide as much context as is given in the book.)

So...yeah. I also kept thinking about Barnum statements as I was reading this book. Whether that was because of something coming from me or something I was picking up from the text (or a mixture), it combined with my other reactions to lead to me to not finish this book.

[Ermocolle · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Come un camaleonte passivamente prende il colore dell'ambiente circostante, così le donne Asperger, inconsapevolmente, adeguano il proprio essere alle aspettative che di volta in volta i vari contesti sociali richiedono loro."
Camaleontismo sociale.
Uno stile di vita necessario, faticoso e forzato per passare inosservate e farsi accettare nelle relazioni sociali.
Un testo che parte da un vissuto autobiografico e si fa portavoce dello spettro di Asperger declinato al femminile. Non ha pretesa di essere completo o esaustivo ma sicuramente un buon punto di partenza per conoscere e comprendere un tema universale ancora in divenire.

[Annie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'll have to agree with several other readers of this book: the first half of the book is quite alright, but it's downhill after that. The perspectives offered in the book feel so distinctly American, in that they are exaggerated, extreme and divisive. NT girls are stupid and shallow because they care about boys and their looks, and yet Aspergirls are encouraged to care about their looks because life is so hard without a man. Oh, and Aspergirls shouldn't eat gluten.

Don't even get me started on her liberal use of the semicolon.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a shame! The first third or half of this book had enormous value and promise. However, the second half of the book was something else entirely.

The first seven chapters of this book were very well researched and build on things I had already read in very reputable texts like those of Temple Grandin's. I was very excited about this book because it was telling more of the story that I was already following.

Sadly, after chapter 7, it really fell apart. The authors bitter experience, her very liberal worldview and her baggage from failed relationships discolored the rest of the text. The overgeneralization's ran rampant, the pseudoscience was nothing more than a string of bitter anecdotes and her tone was anything other than empowering.

The first seven chapters seem to do an excellent job of saying that folks on the spectrum may or may not have certain tendencies. Starting with chapter 8, she wanted to stick everybody into her box and that did a grave disservice to all the readers who don't exhibit many if any of the issues she writes about.

I was particularly frustrated by how much of the second half of the book sounded like victim speak. Everything was told from the perspective of a victim who is of course, guiltless and blameless in everything. That wore extremely thin.

I am sorry that she had dysfunctional family growing up. I am sorry that she has two failed marriages. I am sorry that she has not had a lot of success in any interpersonal relationships. however, some of this is just plain bad manners. Not everything can be blamed on the spectrum. interpersonal relationships may be more difficult for people on the spectrum but that does not exempt them from having to be less selfish, less self-absorbed and more focused on contributing to relationships rather than expecting relationships to serve them.

[Gerry Huntman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being a parent of a girl with autism biases my reading interest toward books on the topic, and to date I have read a lot. Aspergirls is quite atypical of many i have read and refreshing in style.

Rudy Simone has Asperger's Syndrome (AS) and has been a strong advocate for those with the condition for some years. Her approach to writing is to say it as it is, and simply. She does this to good effect. What I particularly like about this tome is she quotes regularly from interviewed girls and women with AS and consequently adds many voices to hers in her coverage of a myriad of topics, from challenges in schools, to the impact of puberty on aspergirls. Nothing is taboo. There were also a few quotations that caused me to laugh out loud - it's good to be able to infuse some humor in what is a topic that can get quite serious.

Another aspect of the structure of the book is that at the end of each topic (chapter), Rudy summarizes by providing direct advice to aspergirls, followed by advice to aspergirl parents. This is smart, very smart, as the two target audiences are vastly different and covers her audience well - and more importantly, sends clear messages to the two most important groups that affect aspergirls.

I found the book useful, but I have to concede that the book is overwhelmingly targeting Asperger's Syndrome, not other folk on the Autism Spectrum. My daughter is a high functioning autistic girl, and has many challenges that differ from AS. And yet the common ground was useful, evidenced by having discussions with my wife on various statements made.

All in all I found the book useful, clearly written, and sensibly structured.

[Pam · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good basic information for those new to Asperger's, esp. as manifested in females. I liked the quotes from various Aspergirls, but found the writing to be rather choppy at times, with lack of flow and abrupt transitions in topics. What I didn't like was Simone's one-sided and unsubstantiated view on the autism/"leaky gut" connection. In Chapter 19, Stomach Issues and Autism, she wrote, "Most of the world's top autism researchers and doctors now believe that...autism is initially caused by a compromised digestive system which allows toxins from the environment to get into the bloodstream and impact brain development at crucial stages." There is no citation for this claim, in reality "most" of the most renowned experts do not believe this, and it has never been proven or substantiated to date in any clinical studies. The "experts" she does list by name are pop psychology types. Other than this obvious bias and lack of proof, I thought the book was a nice introduction to the very different way that AS affects women vs men.

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciate Simone's efforts and I did enjoy the book, but what bugged me was that she paints a picture of Aspergirls that not everyone will relate to. For this reason I will definitely not encourage women who haven't been diagnosed to read this book in order to see if they have Asperger's.

There were many things I could relate to, but there is still around 50% that I don't relate to at all. What frustrated me most was how she writes about Aspergirls as women who often have temper meltdowns and depression. This is not the case for me and quite some other women AT ALL. In fact I'm someone who rarely gets angry. Really. Most of the women Simone interviewed seemed very emotionally unstable and extremely childish. The latter is also an aspect Simone touches upon a lot. She makes it seem like all Aspergirls are very emotionally immature and don't get along with people their own age and older. I mean... what!? Everyone tells me I have a very old soul and I get along much more with people who are older than me. Sure, I know this is not the case for every Aspergirl, but it did really bug me that Simone paints a picture of Aspergirls as people who all prefer to hang out with those who are at least 10 years younger than them.

Another major problem for me, is how she lets the reader think that most Aspergirls have a major passion, are highly intelligent, and love technology. She doesn't literally say that EVERYONE is like this, but she jokes around about it a lot in a way that makes you think that really 90% of Aspergirls are like this.

I think all these generalisations aren't good for the Asperger's community, since you're fueling bias. It's a problem that's already rampant enough within and outside the ASD community. ASD is so extremely diverse and there are many people telling those with Asperger's that they "really can't have Asperger's" since they don't fit the stereotypes (something I experience more often than not). Simone does not touch upon the diversity within Asperger's well enough in this book.

[Hanna · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone if they haven't read any other literature about girls and women with asperger. Even if you do have knowledge about asperger syndrome, I am not sure i would recommend it, but at least you would be more likely to see what is relevant and what appears to be merely her own opinion.
There are several aspects of the book that I have a problem with. Firstly, that it is very one sided. The book's foundation is built on the author and her own experiences, which in itself is fine as long as all the nuances of the syndrome are made clear. She has interviewed 35 women for the book, who could probably have added a broader understanding and perspective to it, but no, they are used mainly to substantiate her own views and understanding of the subject, thus making the read very black and white.
There are several aspects of the diagnosis that are rarely if ever addressed, such as very low self confidence, eating disorders and difficulty with food, recovery periods, inability to feel own body and the larger than average percentage of LGBTQ+aspies.
Chapters and parts of the book are simply absurd, especially chapter 19 "Stomach Issues and Autism" which lacks profound evidence.
A lot of cherry picking has gone into this book, and it nelects giving the reader a full insight into the spectrum. If I had read this book as my first when I was given my diagnosis, I would never had accepted it, and I am afraid a lot of other girls will feel that way too and therefore remain under the radar. It is worrying that this book has had such good response from experts and other readers. Aspies are so much more than the image this book presents.

There are of course parts that are ok and give food for thought, but it is simply too two dimensional to be considered a constructive read.

[Aida · Rating 3 out of 5]

TLDR—Skip this one; there are better, more inclusive resources out there and being made since this book’s release in 2010. Will it resonate with some people? Yeah sure. Does it have some good info? Yeah sure. But as a package? Again, skip it unless you fit perfectly into the assumed demographic I guess? And even THEN it has stuff that makes it suspect.

I did read through it in its entirety since I already have a fair bit of knowledge about the topic so can separate things out more easily. What I found most valuable here were the testimonials, to hear other people’s ways of describing their experiences, especially somatic ones. I also appreciated that there was advice for parents in here as well.

However, this book doesn’t mention race outside assumed whiteness, gender outside cis men and cis women, sexuality outside heterosexuality, etc and it SHOWS. Plus it has some broad generalizations across areas, peddles some pseudoscience about diets and “leaky gut,” carries some weird gender stereotypes as it purports to challenge them (and it does challenge some, to be fair), and more. So in summation even while it has some good bits, separating the wheat from the chaff doesn’t seem efficient or super useful.

[Rosie · Rating 5 out of 5]

best book ive read...such a weight lifting off experience. i already thought i had aspergers....this book just confirms it. i dont feel so 'odd' now. im 27 and ive been made to feel odd by society all my life for not wanting kids, not being interested in clothes nor make-up or particularly interested in guys. i also have psychic tendencies too. my mum has read the book too and her opinion?: "god this book is totally you its unreal but too real". i very much identified with this big style. i thought luke jacksons freaks geeks and aspergers was good but hech - this book by rudy is 50 times better! highly recommended:D

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am a girl with aspergers. The book contained alot of sterotypes that may or may not be true. Personally, I relate to the "male characteristics" of aspergers better. Also, most of the topics applied to people who are just introverted or a little weird. Don't use this book as a diagnostic tool. The aspie traits are too broad to really indicate if you have aspergers.

[Heather Camarota · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was painful to read. The author overgeneralizes her own experiences and claims that they are true of every woman with Aspergers. She claims the gym is no place for an Aspie, nor is the supermarket, or dance classes, and that feminine clothes and hygiene are things Aspies are uninterested in. “Aspergirls” are apparently all androgynous, childish, heteronormative yoga people with leaky guts and full blown meltdowns. Huh. She also writes that we can’t cope with constructive criticism and that others need to walk on eggshells and only ever give positive feedback. Really?

In addition the focus on pseudoscience was really, really off-putting. For a much better, well-researched and more comprehensive book on the same topic, try Women and Girls with Autism Spectrum Disorder by Sarah Hendrickx.

[madelaine · Rating 2 out of 5]

good at the beginning then got weird as despite claiming “im not promoting a cure” it was doing exactly that. whilst there are things you can do to lessen symptoms as with any disorder, suggesting that something that is a neurological difference can be magically fixed by something completely unrelated was not good to me. very autism speaksy towards the end.

[Aingeru · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some (mostly abstract) informations are very interesting and useful, but there is a lot of issues with this book:


- It's totally heteronormanive, she never mention that a girl can fall for anyone but a boy.

- It's cisnormative all the way, non binary autists are erased from the picture, as well as trans women and trans men (they should be included as society's injunctions about feminity weigt on them too).

-It's full of pseudo-science; We learn that autism is caused by intestinal problems and can be cured by plants, that autistics girls have to work on their chakras, karmas and have psychic powers. She also suggests that we have a stronger link to god than others.

-The author is lightly guilt tripping autistics by telling that they should go make friends, step out of their comfort zone, work harder, finish university at all cost... and later on it's "do not to push yourself". Quite contradictory. For example, she tells us who it's sad to be alone, unless you are fine with that. But are you really? Who would? But hey, it's up to you. An autist should not feel guilty when reading a book about empowering autistics.

-She writes that autistic "girls" do not understand nor like gender roles but will (and have to) accept them later on in life. By saying that, she only reinforce these norms.

-The author point of view is too present.

-No fact checking.


Nontheless, all of this is interesting because the author let her autism somewhat guide the writting: she learn, respect and applies society's rules to blend in -the gender role/heteronormative/cisnormative part- (for autistics, it's either that or a complete rejection of these) she guilt trip us like neurotypical would (we often internalize that we are not enough if we don't push ourselves more than non autistics) and for the pseudo-science part, I think she either has a special interest for this kind of new age things, or she is a bit gullible -not in a negative way- (I feel autistics are more likely to show this trait than others, I know I do).

Overall, it was a somewhat nice read with a large variety of sensitive testimonials from autistics themselves.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Choosing the path of letting female "Aspies" themselves speak and then elaborating more on those anecdotes, the author manages to pack an amazing amount of information into a relatively thin book about female expressions of Asperger Syndrome while always keeping the reading light, interesting and memorable. Both practical and insightful in its main aim, stated already in the title: "empowering females with Asperger Syndrome," Aspergirls also highlights the differences between male and female expressions of Asperger syndrome, thus offering a much-needed further perspective to the ongoing discourse.

I highly recommend Aspergirls to
- Aspies and those who wonder if they might be "on the spectrum," as it offers a plethora of insights and strategies for living in and coping with a world which often feels like "living on the wrong planet."
- family members & friends of Aspies, as it can be very helpful to gain a deeper understanding of their loved ones, plus offering ideas on how to live harmoniously and in a supportive manner with an "Aspergirl."
- professionals delving into the topic, as it offers an entertaining and inspiring introduction into the practicalities of Asperger Syndrome in females. Note here that Aspergirls is by no means a scientific monography, and should not be read as such--nonetheless its experience-based, practical approach can offer very useful insights to mental healthcare practitioners wishing to assist women with Asperger syndrome.

Beyond the aforementioned audiences Aspergirls can also be worthwhile to read for anyone who is simply interested in the human mind and it's many different expressions--Asperger syndrome being one of them: "different, not less."

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love that the author is an adult Aspergirl. I picked this book up for several reasons: I read an article through a podcast I love and cannot recommend enough, The Mental Illness Happy Hour, I've worked with Aspie kiddos for years, and I feel a young family member has Asperger's and remains undiagnosed.

As one would expect with an Aspie, the writing can be a bit repetitious, yet I still got a lot out of this book. I have worked with 0, yes I wrote 0, girls with Asperger's in my 15 years of working with special needs and high risk populations!! I mean, WTF?!! To read that a lot of these girls and young women are misdiagnosed is no surprise to me. And it breaks my heart.

If you know and love a young lady or woman who has never quite fit in and has never understood why, and has been diagnosed with an array of different disorders over the years, please read this book. Please. Aspergirls, unlike their male peers, often manage to get by for many years because their obsessions are more socially acceptable--boys, dolls, etc.--but then hit a wall socially, and are misunderstood for years, and diagnosed much later in life. Aspergirls also do a more effective job of faking.

I thought this book was wonderful and informative. Thank you, Rudy Simone, for continuing to teach me about something I thought I knew a whole hell of a lot about.

[Anne Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't praise this book enough! So far the best Aspie self-help book I've ever read. Well-organized, great information, superb combination of the author's own experiences blended with the voices of other women on the spectrum and tons of medical, psychological, health-related and other advice including very pracical and insightful parenting tips. The appendices in the back are great for having all the salient traits in one place and distinguishing between male and female Aspie characteristics. It also tuned me in to a great website I wasn't previously aware of. Thank you so much Rudy and all the other lovely ladies who contributed=:)

[Inez Ryan · Rating 2 out of 5]

The content of this book is uneven. While there are some paragraphs that struck me as relevant and insightful, there were others that seemed poorly researched and lacking in veracity.

I read "Aspergirls" because I wanted to compare my experiences with those of other women who have been diagnosed with Aspergers/High Functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder. The book includes many quotes from women diagnosed with Aspergers, presented in the context of the writer's own experiences and observations. The book also includes advice to such women and to their parents.

There was much in "Aspergirls" that I could relate to, and it was interesting to see the experience of having Aspergers from the perspectives of others. However, there were many instances where I felt that the author was making generalisations based on her own personal experience that were not necessarily relevant to other women on the spectrum.

Much of the book was oriented towards the parents of girls with Aspergers. This had no relevance to me whatsoever. I also found most of the advice proffered to be not particularly helpful.

Perhaps my biggest disappointment with "Aspergirls" was the inclusion of a chapter focusing on digestive issues. In this chapter the author puts forward the hypothesis that Aspergers could be caused by digestive issues and that most women from Aspergers are suffering from some ailment affecting their digestive tract. I have never come across either of these notions in any of the other reading I have done on Autism Spectrum Disorder. The author's arguments in this vein were not persuasive and I felt that the conclusions were based on anecdotal evidence rather than reliable data. While it is true that a healthy diet and a diverse microbiome can impact on psychological wellbeing, it is widely accepted that Aspergers is a neurological condition which we are born with and many experts in Autism Spectrum Disorder believe that the disorder is genetic. The lack of rigour demonstrated in this chapter is obvious.

Overall, I think the book is worth reading, but I would be cautious about relying on the information or advice included. Aspergers is a complex disorder that presents differently in different individuals, and the diagnosis is highly subjective. The recognition that the disorder presents differently in women is relatively recent and not yet sufficiently thoroughly researched. If you are trying to gain some insight into ASD you should read a wide range of sources to get the full picture. While "Aspergirls" makes a contribution to the literature, it should only be one of many different books you read on the subject.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good book. I have nothing negative to say about it except that it partly makes the assumption that society is not responsible for its share of acceptance. Diversity should be actively valued by all people. However I completely agree that an Aspergirl cannot wait for anyone to accept her and accommodate her so it is up to her to get what she needs and to take care of herself and to make an effort to "fit in" with the worlds way of doing things. That doesn't mean measuring success to a standard that is not your own however, and Rudy agrees. The overall tone of this book is very empowering and positive. It urges parents to step up to the plate but only after the Aspergirl herself is implored to look within.

My rating partly reflects how much this book influenced me personally and shouldn't detract from the potential value it can provide other Aspergirls. I began reading this as a person who regards themselves with love and care. I am extremely positive and try my best in all challenges. I like myself despite my disability and while I wasn't necessarily in need of empowerment, the messages in this book are absolutely what I would say to an Aspergirl who could use direction and a new way to see herself.