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The Longbourn Will: A Pride and Prejudice Variation

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What if the men of Pride and Prejudice refused to take 'no' for an answer? In Jane Austen's original tale, Mr Bingley accepts 'no' from Mr Darcy about Jane; Mr Collins accepts 'no' from Mrs Bennet about Jane; Mr Wickham and Colonel Fitzwilliam are stopped from showing more interest in Elizabeth by lack of fortune; and of course, Mr Darcy accepts 'no' from Elizabeth at Hunsford. This variation looks at what might have happened, had those events gone differently, and, as the title suggests, what the reason behind some of the changes might have been. Could Jane turn down Mr Collins? What if Wickham had proposed to Elizabeth before she knew his character? And could anyone resist Colonel Fitzwilliam, had he been in possession of a good fortune?

This story follows the original, more or less, and does not contain any material of an explicit adult nature.

419 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 13, 2015

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About the author

Carolyn Whyte

3 books41 followers

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5 stars
111 (37%)
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121 (40%)
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59 (19%)
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8 (2%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 46 reviews
Profile Image for wosedwew.
1,346 reviews128 followers
February 6, 2025
Shades of LADY BRACKNELL !!

LOL is so common I refuse to use it ... but ... the scene with Lady C and Mr. & Mrs. B had me CHORTLING AUDIBLY -- and once I even snorted! Such a clever usage of the original script by non-original speakers leading to entirely new confusions.

Where's Oscar Wilde when we need him?

I recommend this to any and all JAFF readers.
Profile Image for Sheila Majczan.
2,730 reviews208 followers
January 30, 2022
4.5 stars rounded up to 5 stars.

It took me a while to read this story. This is one of those authors who uses Jane Austen's words and/or events but in her own manner. People are doing in this story or saying in this story what different people said or did in canon.

Yes, the "Will" set up in the past causes some events as several men see ways to turn the wording of that original will to their own purposes. Surprisingly, Wickham's father, being a solicitor, is involved in the writing. (I am not going to explain it here as the story brings up the why and wherefore several different times in this story.

Elizabeth does receive 5 proposals but 2 from the same man. Her father takes a stand...of refusal...on the one.

Mary's part in the story weighs in with more importance than canon. However, in the end she does have a promising future but the author lets it drop at that. In other words, no epilogue is given to us.

Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam has a bigger part also. Here, too, we don't learn what happens to him although you might imagine that he is looked upon with more interest, i.e., Darcy, with his looks, his estate and his fortune, was looked upon before he marries.

There was not much angst up until the very end and then things are very tense, indeed.

I have read and enjoyed this author's two other books. I don't see that she wrote a sequel to this one; however, she would easily do so as the material is there.

As one of the other reviews mentioned the scene between Lady Catherine and Mr. and Mrs. Bennet is hilarious. Each one takes a different meaning when someone's daughter, nephew, cousin, etc. is mentioned.

I recommend this story. It was published a number of years ago but only recently did it come to my attention. It is rather long.
Profile Image for Mary.
579 reviews11 followers
July 24, 2017
4.5*

Dear Reader,

This was a wonderfully unique take on P&P, where hilarity,misunderstandings and proposals abound!!

Treating yourself to this delightful tale,you will be privy to Bingley providing a lucky escape for Jane,a certain clergy man's determined and distracting efforts to propose to his fair cousins, a fantastically humorous and cleverly crafted mine of misunderstandings between Lady Catherine and Mr and Mrs Bennet and finally not one but five proposals for Lizzy!!!

Into this mix you also learn of the entail of Longbourn and a certain manipulation of its original aim and Mr Darcy's refusal to take no for an answer from a certain impertinent Hertfordshire miss!

Wickham,in a very clever twist,also has his share in the conversation and plots blackmail,revenge and female ruination among his various nefarious schemes.

A highly entertaining and diverting read,I recommend this to all!
Profile Image for Brittany.
Author 1 book4 followers
October 4, 2015
I felt very surprised for liking this book. I think maybe after reading the description I was not totally sold on the premise. However in practice it worked out quite well.

What happened if Mr. Collins was only left Longbourne conditionally? What if no one at Longbourne knew this, because the will had been altered? Mr. Collins has to marry one of the Bennet sisters to become the future owner. So he is even more obnoxious in trying to marry one of his cousins.

Bingley is not persuaded by Darcy. His character is strong, and his proposing to Jane is one of my favorite parts.

Wickham has other reasons to attach him to the Bennets, and is also more persuading than in Pride and Prejudice. He is also more evil.
Which is wonderful.

Finally, Colonel Fitzwilliam is even more taken with Elizabeth, and when his circumstances change, he is drawn to her, regardless of Darcy's feelings.

What I loved: I loved that the first quarter of the book is centered around Bingley, Wickham, and Collins. I am not sure why this amuses me so much, but it really does give more importance (for a little bit) to other characters's stories. I enjoyed the complicated mess that the will leaves, and Collin's is so obnoxious in meeting the needs of the original will. I believes Wickham's story is more involved and interesting. I also think that when we get to Elizabeth and Darcy, it is extremely romantic. When they first kiss, and when he meets her on the balcony are heartwarming, and wonderful. Finally, this book was just written very well.

What I don't love: I never love when Colonel Fitzwilliam is in love with Elizabeth in any variation. I know he admires her in P&P and warns her off because he can't support her, but I don't like when variations twist that little admiration to mean that he loves Elizabeth.
I also do not care for the lack of a closure on Collins' pieces. We find out what happens on the Bennet's side regarding the will, but never hear Collins' reaction. Then poor Mary is a huge part of this book, but then she becomes more background towards the end. They speak what happens to her, but never hear her reaction.
I guess I want an epilogue. That probably would have changed this from 4 to 5 stars for me.

But this was very good. I might read it again, and I definitelyr ecommend it to JAFF fans.
Profile Image for Eliza Baum.
530 reviews35 followers
March 14, 2016
I really, really enjoyed this one. I have no idea how accurate the legalities are, but pft. It was an intriguing concept to not only change the circumstances around the entail of Longbourn and also to reverse the choices made by characters in several key places. I found it was most interesting that even with altering those decisions, many of the key plot points stayed much the same--only slightly out of order or with a twist. There were plenty of changes, too, though--particularly with Wickham's plotline--and I had fun seeing them play out.

I don't have any serious complaints, but having Elizabeth

I liked how Mary's plotline resolved, the changes to the Lydia/Wickham plotline, and definitely Elizabeth and Darcy. They had a few little improper moments together, but it was never too much for me. Maybe Elizabeth decided she was in love with him a little faster than I might have expected, but it was nothing egregious. If anything, I think I would have liked to see more of the two of them alone together.
Profile Image for Les.
2,911 reviews1 follower
September 18, 2015
I have read a lot of P&P fan fiction / what's ifs / retellings, and this was among one of the most creative.

Opening with Darcy and Bingley in London the day after the Netherfield ball this shows a group of Austen men with spines. Darcy fails to convince Bingley that Jane is mercenary and soon Darcy & Bingley are headed back to Meryton. Bingley to propose and Darcy to make sure Lizzy doesn't marry Collins.

The story takes many detours from canon but that isn't a bad thing. There is a fascinating sub plot involving Wickham and Mr Bennet's father's will.

Quickly Jane is engaged to Bingley, and Mary to Mr. Collins with spring and summer wedding scheduled.

Don't worry there is plenty more drama and angst. Lizzy will receive 4 proposals before settling on a fifth.

The first 3/4's of the book I loved. The last 1/4 got a little over the top for me. With Wickham becoming almost a horror movie level baddie.
Profile Image for Charlene.
474 reviews
March 7, 2016
The will

Awesome variation. Loved how this author took the history of the entail and turned .it on its side. That mr Collins and Mr Wickham figure into these things is quite ingenious. That Bingley actually ends up with a little gumption and Mr Darcy's brooding is perfect. All the characters are there and in perfect harmony. My only sadness had to do with Col Fitzwilliam and that is probably because I read this authors next two books first and really should of read is first.

What I mean is that the plot for the next two books was an alternative of his one. All three book were wonderful reads and I highly recommend them!
Profile Image for Dee-Ann.
1,194 reviews81 followers
January 6, 2016
If I had a choice, I would have given this book 4.5 stars, mainly because I want to know what happens subsequently to Lydia and the others. It was a good read and there were moments where I was laughing out loud, as well as holding onto my seat ... and I found that I could talk to my son about parts of the book, without him going glassy-eyed with boredom. Just when I thought it was smooth sailing, there was a surprise near the end.
Profile Image for Shifra ♕.
244 reviews78 followers
March 14, 2021
Tis respectable but nothing to write home about
description
Synopsis:

The premiss is a unique one, there is a suppressed will that offers a loophole to the entail on LB: if Collins doesn't secure a Bennets hand then it is broken! (This is so lovingly explained to overkill proportions throughout, so don't worry if this is hard to memorize!) The Bennets are unaware of this contingency. See, apparently skeeviness is an inherited trait with the Wickhams, since Wicky's uncle, a solicitor, was bribed to alter the document by the the former Mr Collins sr, who married into the family by way of Mr Bennet's elder sister Elizabeth.

Wicky finds this out and- at first trying & failing to bribe Mr Collins with this intel- soon revises his scheme & decides to secure himself a Bennet sister and inherit LB himself.
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Horrifyingly he nearly succeeds with Lizzy! I had a hard time believing Lizzy dumb enough to accept Wickham, in source material she tells Mrs G she wouldn't be so foolish as to accept him, for what on earth would they live on? Not to mention her heart wasn't touched- but in this version her mind very well may be- for she acts like a child mostly propelled by rebellious impulse,
‘Gone were her feelings of uncertainty—her father's objections had solidified her views that Mr Wickham was the man she wished to marry.’

description
Fret not, this is swiftly set to rights thanks to an alert Mr Bennet

Collins, aware of his father duplicitousness, knows his inheritance is at stake so he doesn't concede after failing with Lizzy, and even gets his head turned by Mary- who in true romcom fashion- is transformed into a hottie by merely removing her glasses!
“Oh, Mr Collins, do you not recognize our Mary?  Why, she has only taken her spectacles off.”

description

If you've read Ms Whyte before you will recognize some of her trademark characterizations;
- Darcy fantasizes about eloping with/ kidnapping Lizzy so much you could make a respectable drinking game of it! Seriously, he is constantly just a slight breeze away from snatching Elizabeth & hauling ass to Gretna Green, 'Blink twice if you want to be whisked away scandalously!'
Darcy's mental mantra:
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(I do like her Darcy being of a more passionate persuasion but I thought it more charmingly done in her other work than here.)
-The viscount being a poor horseman, conveniently falling to his death and raising the Colonels prospects so he is then free to propose to Lizzy
-Bingley not abandoning Jane

That Which Pleased:

❀I love when the variation is of a backstage persuasion that do not negate the canon on stage dealings, but rather act as a supplementary companion to twist our understanding of how events transpired and the ulterior motives propelling them! The premiss of the will agrees seamlessly with Collins and Wickham's behavior in canon.

❀ Mr Bingley standing by his lady! Class act! IMO the 'Most Romantic Scene in the Book' award goes to Bingley when he interrupts Collins's proposal to Jane!

❀The twist of colonel revealing something that casts Darcy’s character in a positive light to Lizzy, instead of negative one- I’ve never seen that happen in JAFF before! Glad the Colonel’s big mouth finally made itself useful!
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❀Some Pretty prose scattered thereabouts;
‘…his eyes lingering on Elizabeth's face in hopes that she would look at him.  She did so, feeling fatally drawn to him as a ship to the rock on which it will dash itself to pieces’


That Which Offended:
➳ Dialogue a little off; Oversharing of details, too forward/ tactless at times, character idiosyncrasies askew, i.e. Collins too aware and calculating, Mrs Bennet too smartly verbose. Lizzy didn't strike me as clever or charming enough to garner all the hearts and proposals she did.

➳Cartoonish

➳ Long verbatim copy & pasted OG P&P Scenes

➳Conversations and events repeated to other characters that we witnessed is just tedious, secondary characters speculating on feelings of ODC not relevant

➳The story can't decide what it wants to be about, lacks cohesiveness. Instead of a plot with sub plots adding/ supporting an intricate quilt, it presents as a fray of sub plots all vying for center stage and rendering the narrative into an incoherent disorder.
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➳Not feeling the love. ODC doesn't click. This was surprising to me, as Ms Whyte had me smitten with her Darcy and in a bevy of emotions in Denial & Deliverance, but I guess you could say she didn't quite deliver here.

➳I was straight up scandalized when Darcy put Lizzy in the mistress room and that the Gardiners allowed it! Even if the adjoining door is locked- which Darcy is shown to have the key at much too easy access- it is not to be borne!
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In Short:
This was a fairly mediocre yarn, it's not untenable and has it's moments, but overall it felt forced & superficial with not much under the hood- not at all what I was expecting from Ms Whyte after reading her other work.

Yes, to be fair, I came in with fairly inflated expectations from my experience with this authors pièce de résistance Denial & Deliverance which is a JAFF epic and holds a respectable place in my personal top five JAFF short list. However this work preceded that so I can only think of this fondly and indulgently as her perfecting her craft before brilliance made it's home in her brain.
description
Seriously, if you haven't yet read Darcy's Denial: A Pride and Prejudice Variation, then for the love of all that's good & holy do not let this be your first impression of Ms Carolyn Whyte. Truly she is amazing, but this yarn doesn't convey the extent of her talent. Denial & Deliverance gutted me in the best of ways, it ought to be required JAFF reading.
description
Profile Image for Dawn.
653 reviews33 followers
May 26, 2021
The idea is an original and interesting idea. Grandpa Bennet’s will was replaced with a forgery by some slippery characters but the original still exists and is hidden just waiting to make an appearance. This is a great plot idea, but unfortunately, the execution left much to be desired. It started off so well, but this particular plot wasn’t very developed and kind of fizzled out and faded into the background. When the big reveal did take place, it was underwhelming and was kind of drowned out by the other storylines that were occurring.

Some things that detracted from my enjoyment were:
-Lots of introspection. We spent way too much time spend in the character’s heads.
-As much as I love Elizabeth Bennet, I felt like the number of marriage proposals she received was excessive and didn’t feel plausible.
-I was leaning towards a higher rating until Mr. Darcy places Elizabeth in the Mistress Chambers when she is a guest at Pemberley with the Gardiners. There was no engagement or understanding between the two, not that it would have been any more appropriate had that been the case, and the Gardiners don’t even object? This sunk my opinion more than any other single thing in the book. Darcy is far too honorable to behave so inappropriately, especially in his own home in front of his own servants and with his own sister in residence. Elizabeth would never have agreed to such an arrangement as her reputation would have been shattered. Way too over the top and ridiculous.

Overall, this story was just okay. It wasn’t one of the best, but it certainly wasn’t the worst either. It had lots of potential but fell short of the mark for me.
Profile Image for Elizabeth Bennet.
742 reviews8 followers
October 12, 2018
I got this book under kindle unlimited so I did not buy nor did I finish. At 3% I through in the towel due to Collins being handsome but small minded and Elizabeth still agreeing to marry him. It was a very confusing read for me according to other readers I have misinterpreted. It just didn't work for me and have moved on since. I do not want to discredit a persons work so give it a try if you want and make your own judgement. Her exact words were she will not see him much and will socialize with married ladies and him married men. Ok not exact wording but that is another issue the writing style is very confusing to me. I had trouble following what was going on. On one final note Elizabeth had Collins son...yuk! No one has that right except Fitzwilliam Darcy and it is unexceptable to be written any different. Get your own characters as the ones in this one were not even close or appealing to me.
Profile Image for James S.
1,451 reviews
October 21, 2020
Will you A marry me B?

A story where there a large number of Miss As and many Mr Bs also.

Spoilers

During the story we find out Mr Bennets sister married Mr Collins. Some later time Mr Collins was unhappy with how disagreeable she was and he sent her to Bedlam where she died. What an awful ending for a Bennet to have. But when Mr Bennet finds out this secret, he and later the other Bennets don’t really get upset at all. To not care a close relative was lost to the tortures of Bedlam is not something that can be believed.
Profile Image for Gill M.
386 reviews29 followers
September 4, 2020
Darcy shows his passionate nature.

Excellent story with many twists and turns.
Darcy is adorable (when he stops being an idiot) and the villains meet very satisfactory rewards.
Profile Image for Carol Perrin.
607 reviews28 followers
October 26, 2015
The Longbourn Will: A Pride and Prejudice Variation

Very good story about cheating and deception. The interconnection of characters in this story were amazing, but unfortunately too many of them were conniving men who thought only of themselves. Collins and Wickham compete for first place for wicked, evil people in this story and both deserve the consequences they received. Worried for Darcy in this story, but finally Elizabeth gets her head and heart where they truly belong.
Profile Image for Liat Gat.
5 reviews1 follower
May 2, 2016
The best in a long time

If you enjoy GOOD P&P variations, do not hesitate to read this one. Skilfully written, it moves along apace, following surprising but believable plot differences from the original.

The plot ideas are clever and interesting, and fully round out a complete, engrossing, and thoroughly enjoyable novel.

This book was written by a true professional - no need to extend allowances given to the many "A for Effort" attempts out there.

I'm grateful to the author for providing me with such a good read. I'm off to see if she had written anything else.
Profile Image for Kimbelle Pease.
Author 8 books25 followers
April 8, 2022
The author wrote a thorough and excellent story, but I was not adequately prepared for it to include a love triangle for Col. Fitzwilliam, Darcy, and Elizabeth. That is something that will darken any book for me, and so it is with a sadness that I choose 4 stars. The premise was excellent, and the paring of Wickham and Collins and pitting them against one another was interesting and new! It was worth the purchase, and though I will never read it again due to the aforementioned reason, it was an excellently written book, all told.
36 reviews4 followers
September 19, 2015
Fast pace and an exciting plot

I believe I have read most of the P&P variations and this, in my opinion, is among the best. My thanks to the author.
Profile Image for Talia.
981 reviews4 followers
November 3, 2015
I loved it. I would have given it 5 stars if the author gave us more of a certain storyline that was left hanging. My only complaint!
Profile Image for Barbara K..
771 reviews21 followers
October 20, 2020
2.5 stars, rounded up for pure entertainment value. The idea for this Pride and Prejudice variation is clever, with the fraud concerning the will, and it's entertaining, but it's far too melodramatic for my taste. There is a lot that I couldn't believe about this story. I enjoyed it, and recommend it to readers who don't mind things getting a little extreme and contrived. It does have its humorous moments, which I always enjoy, but the characters do things, or react to things, in ways that I can't swallow. There are contrivances and breaches of etiquette and decency that would never be tolerated by the characters in the actual Jane Austen story.

If you don't mind more melodrama than in the original, or very different characters than in the original, then you might well enjoy this variation.

Profile Image for Christine.
345 reviews44 followers
January 3, 2016
I wasn't sure about reading this take on P&P but I am very glad I did. The cover photo of a will did deter me originally but as I was able to borrow it via Kindle Unlimited I fortunately decided to take a chance.
Carolyn White seems to me to have just the right tone for a P&P novel and I consider her an excellent writer. The clever use of language in the misunderstanding between Lady Catherine and Mrs Bennett makes for a scene which is highly entertaining and would not seem out of place in the original (and I don't say that very often). I also admire the way the characters of Wickham and Mr Collins are handled - both are villains in their own way, but still portrayed in such a way that you felt what they did was perfectly consistent with how they behave in P&P.
I was also happy that two of my favourite secondary characters, Mary Bennett and Colonel Fitzwilliam were well treated in this book - Mary in particular is shown as BEING thoughtful and sensible rather than being mocked for thinking she is (not saying this could possibly be an improvement on the original but I almost preferred it).
I finished the novel hoping we were going to have more of Colonel Fitzwilliams story - I will obviously be reading Darcy's Denial as soon as possible although I hardly dare hope it can be as good. I also hope Ms Whyte might at some point consider giving us more of Mary's story :)
Profile Image for Ree.
1,360 reviews83 followers
September 9, 2020
Where there’s a will, there’s a way!
Second read review (forgot to post one when first read).

As some mischief is undertaken with the old Mr. Bennet’s will by the old Mr. Collins, consequences of that mischief come to bear on the next generation, with the help of Wickham and William Collins. Will the truth come out? Meanwhile, Darcy and Richard vie for Elizabeth’s love, while attempting to maintain their lifelong relationship. Darcy will not give up trying to win her, even though she refuses him at Hunsford. I’m not a fan of the love triangle, but this one isn’t too angsty.

Very well written, with good dialogue and very interesting storyline. I highly enjoyed and recommend this book.
Profile Image for Sheryl Gordon.
265 reviews5 followers
September 24, 2015
Original twist - More complexity than romance.

Well written, intricate and original. Personally, as an adult, even taking into account the Regency period restrictions adhered to, I feel that after "The Kiss", the author should have given the reader a glimpse of the oft hinted prize. I suppose "clean" is more fashionable these days, being less controversial, but I'm tired of reading romance stories edited to placate the underage mass market. This book is a very good variation that, with a stepped up "romance" factor, would have been a solid five stars. An author to watch.
7 reviews
October 11, 2015
A very engaging variation.

I read two of Carolyn Whyte's Pride and Prejudice variations in as many days and while that shows how much I enjoyed the author's writing style, it has left the plots rather mixed in my mind. That being the case, I'll just comment on the stories being long enough to contain great plot twists and adventure as well as development of the characters feelings for each other. I also like that the narrative voice is not only Elizabeth's, but also Darcy's and other characters.
Profile Image for sylph.
71 reviews2 followers
October 7, 2015
I'd give this 4.5. The story itself is so good, it deserves top marks. The first half is a little uneven, and doesn't flow perfectly, but then it takes off and is a real treat, to the point that, when I was finished, I wanted more from the characters in this setting. It's probably the best P&P adaptation I've read in terms of story and plot, and pretty good writing, as well. I could quibble about this or that, but I won't. I enjoyed reading it.
Profile Image for Christine Baglow.
50 reviews14 followers
September 26, 2015
A truly great variation

This is one of the great ones. I am so glad I took the time to read it. Excellent writing & a surprisingly believable plot. Great characterization.
Profile Image for Gail Frisby.
471 reviews13 followers
October 4, 2019
Liked it

Good reading, like stories where Lydia does not marry Wickham. Like how the villains were dealt with, one with a letter and one with a sword.
Profile Image for Jennifer.
135 reviews1 follower
July 27, 2020
Loved it!

I read the other series by this author and loved it so I decided to check this one out and I’m glad I did! So many proposals! And it was fun to read a book where Mary had a little more time in the spotlight than I usually see. The whole Longbourne Will story was an awesome twist on the classic tale and made for some interesting scenes. Oh, and the kissing scenes make you hot under the collar! Woo! Wickham was darker character than usual in this story. I felt like this story took a long time, but in a good way. So much was packed into it that it felt like the end would be approaching soon but new intrigue kept getting thrown in. It felt like a resolution was nearing and then something would be delayed or something new introduced. I recommend reading this book for any P&P fan.
Profile Image for Janelle.
70 reviews
August 27, 2023
This might be the longest it’s taken me to finish a P&P variation. The first half of the book felt really tedious. Not enough info was given for someone unfamiliar with P&P, but there was too much for those who are familiar. I felt like the book could have started off with “what if…” and then briefly explain the events that changed and then picked up much later in the book. The second half was really enjoyable for me! I got the book off of a recommendation based on the balcony scene, so I’m glad I pushed through the first half to get there. The rest of the book was much faster paced.
Profile Image for M.
1,160 reviews
January 23, 2019
Not really much about Darcy & Elizabeth, they weren’t the main characters as so much else going on. Some strange events that don’t quite sit right for the era. Far too many proposals, got a bit silly - the Col Fitzwilliam angle detracted rather than added to story, it would have been far better to leave him out of it. Also the main plot wasn’t really anything to do with not accepting no, as the blurb indicated. Though it was an unusual idea.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 46 reviews