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Otto Von Trapezoid and the Empress of Thieves
“Filled with adventure, action and outrageous comedy, OTTO VON TRAPEZOID & THE EMPRESS OF THIEVES is a wildly entertaining read.”
—Paul Regnier, author of Space Drifters: The Emerald Enigma
OTTO VON TRAPEZOID AND THE EMPRESS OF THIEVES is the story of two criminal masterminds who can conquer anything except their own feelings. Otto Von Trapezoid is a mad scientist who rules an army of robots from his orbital space station. Angry and grumpy, he sees no value in humanity except becoming their ruler. Esmerelda Santa Monica is the stylish self-proclaimed “Empress of Thieves,” who values her own legend and the thrill of the theft over actual wealth. Both live lonely lives, the desire to become the greatest villains of all time primarily on their minds
When the two meet in simultaneous attempts to blackmail the UN, their instincts are to attempt to kill one another, but soon they discover a mutual attraction that neither thought possible. Once they begin to pool their resources, the pair seems on track to become the most successful evil-doers of all time and set out to conquer the world itself. But what happens when their villainous natures emerge, and both realize there can only be one absolute ruler of Earth? Can either be satisfied with being second to another?
To make matters worse, they must deal with the protestations of Otto’s sidekick robot SCRAP, the meddling of their fellow villains, their families, and worst of all, heroic superspy Jake Indestructible is determined to bring them both down, once and for all.
Filled with robot dinosaurs, exploding dinner parties, and villainous poker games, OTTO VON TRAPEZOID AND THE EMPRESS OF THIEVES is a hilarious sci-fi comedy that will leave you falling in love with the bad guys!
—Paul Regnier, author of Space Drifters: The Emerald Enigma
OTTO VON TRAPEZOID AND THE EMPRESS OF THIEVES is the story of two criminal masterminds who can conquer anything except their own feelings. Otto Von Trapezoid is a mad scientist who rules an army of robots from his orbital space station. Angry and grumpy, he sees no value in humanity except becoming their ruler. Esmerelda Santa Monica is the stylish self-proclaimed “Empress of Thieves,” who values her own legend and the thrill of the theft over actual wealth. Both live lonely lives, the desire to become the greatest villains of all time primarily on their minds
When the two meet in simultaneous attempts to blackmail the UN, their instincts are to attempt to kill one another, but soon they discover a mutual attraction that neither thought possible. Once they begin to pool their resources, the pair seems on track to become the most successful evil-doers of all time and set out to conquer the world itself. But what happens when their villainous natures emerge, and both realize there can only be one absolute ruler of Earth? Can either be satisfied with being second to another?
To make matters worse, they must deal with the protestations of Otto’s sidekick robot SCRAP, the meddling of their fellow villains, their families, and worst of all, heroic superspy Jake Indestructible is determined to bring them both down, once and for all.
Filled with robot dinosaurs, exploding dinner parties, and villainous poker games, OTTO VON TRAPEZOID AND THE EMPRESS OF THIEVES is a hilarious sci-fi comedy that will leave you falling in love with the bad guys!
264 pages, Paperback
Published October 5, 2015
8 people are currently reading
347 people want to read
About the author
Jesse Baruffi
2 books13 followersJesse Baruffi was born in a West Virginia college and quickly became the adorable dorm mascot of his parents’ alma mater. While other little boys dreamed of being astronauts and firemen, Jesse dreamed of creating stories, a curse which failed to subside, even in adulthood. He has been a teacher, tutor, caseworker, cat rescuer, filmmaker, and accidental kite-flying champion. He currently resides in Chattanooga, Tennessee with two demanding feline overlords. Otto Von Trapezoid and the Empress of Thieves is his first novel.
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
September 18, 2015
If you're not hooked after reading the first two chapters (available on Wattpad and the author's Facebook), you may be suffering from a rare deficiency in funny. I mean, the summary alone is enough to leave even the mildly humored drooling and anxious for this book. To me, this brings to mind the absurdity of Python, the wit of Hitchhiker's Guide, and the wonderful excesses of Invader Zim. Do your friends a favor, and tell everyone about this!
October 19, 2015
This story is hilarious! The best non-graphic-novel funny villain story I've ever read. You can almost see scenes described there in cartoonish style movie with some cheesy, yet awesome music and the two amazing villains deciding whether to fall in love with each other or kill each other.
This book is perfect! I'm not even going to write you what it's about, I'll just use the blurb because I'd rather write you what I felt reading this.
This is a story of love and conquers and only by reading it you can find out which will win. Every scene in this book is perfect. From the first contact, first meeting, visits to each others homes, fighting off enemies. All with lots of action, gadgets, robots, thieving skills and cunning dialogs.
Otto and Esmeralda are perfect main characters. Both are great in what they're doing. Otto is kind of awkward with his outdated behavior and lack of knowledge about normal human interactions. Esmeralda, on the other hand, seems to know everything she needs to blend in. She knows what to do in every situation and how to get herself out of trouble. Well they both know how to get out of trouble, their methods might differ, but the result is the same :)
Yes, I admit I enjoyed every single chapter of this book. It is awesome and you should BUY IT NOW! Seriously. But it. Now! You won't be sorry :)
And imagine that - this is Jesse Baruffi's first novel! That's quite a start. Well done and bring us some more :D!
I received this copy from the publisher via Curiosity Quills in exchange for an honest review.
Find more of my reviews here: https://maginibooks.wordpress.com
This book is perfect! I'm not even going to write you what it's about, I'll just use the blurb because I'd rather write you what I felt reading this.
This is a story of love and conquers and only by reading it you can find out which will win. Every scene in this book is perfect. From the first contact, first meeting, visits to each others homes, fighting off enemies. All with lots of action, gadgets, robots, thieving skills and cunning dialogs.
Otto and Esmeralda are perfect main characters. Both are great in what they're doing. Otto is kind of awkward with his outdated behavior and lack of knowledge about normal human interactions. Esmeralda, on the other hand, seems to know everything she needs to blend in. She knows what to do in every situation and how to get herself out of trouble. Well they both know how to get out of trouble, their methods might differ, but the result is the same :)
Yes, I admit I enjoyed every single chapter of this book. It is awesome and you should BUY IT NOW! Seriously. But it. Now! You won't be sorry :)
And imagine that - this is Jesse Baruffi's first novel! That's quite a start. Well done and bring us some more :D!
I received this copy from the publisher via Curiosity Quills in exchange for an honest review.
Find more of my reviews here: https://maginibooks.wordpress.com
September 18, 2015
This book sounds hilariously great, and I can't wait for its release!!
September 22, 2015
Wonderfully written high tech adventure....Would be a fantastic movie too !
September 27, 2015
I absolutely adored this book. It has intrigue, drama, suspense, comedy, action, a love story, an excellent plot, and amazing characters. This larger than life story is a fast read, and you will not want to put it down. I promise you, if you read this, you'll love it just as much if not more than I did.
October 20, 2015
A Very Pleasant Surprise
This book begins somewhat unpromisingly. A super-villain, Otto, orbits Earth and makes smartass comments to his robot minions, even though he's actually a bit obtuse and gormless. The jokes all feel vaguely recycled, the characters are familiar, and the villain is not particularly distinguished. Uh-oh, I thought; this is going to be an honorable but ultimately unsatisfying amateur effort. Well, please excuuuuusse me for being such a snot. Turns out that this is more fun and more clever and original than I could possibly have hoped for. It's almost like it took the author about twenty pages to blow off the rust before the real creative juices took over.
Once Otto has been established we get Esmerelda the Empress of Thieves, who will be his villainous nemesis. Then we get Jake, the lantern jawed hero. Then we traipse all over the galaxy double and triple crossing and tricking and deceiving each other. The plot is manic, silly, clever, predictable and then wildly unpredictable. But, the main appeal here, for me, wasn't the plot or action, as such. On every other page there is a throwaway line, a bit of business, or a standalone scene that just tickled me. You get a U.N. General Assembly meeting that feels like a frat party, then a secret good guy headquarters that sends up every good-guy convention that ever was. You get a supervillain let-down-your-hair raucous poker game. But then there's a floating restaurant that is suspended in the air solely by irony. And so on.
Sometimes the book is a parody, sometimes it's earnest superhero stuff, sometimes it's self-conscious metafiction, sometimes it's postmodern and ironic, and sometimes it's just silly.
Of course, not everything works. At least early on, none of the deadpan robots are that funny. Some of the jokes are too broad or don't work. The bigger effects aren't always, well, as effective, as are the smaller throwaways. But this is quibbling. Especially because the book avoids the worst crime - one joke overload. Just as world domination begins to wear thin, we get a buddy comedy. Just as Otto versus the Empress begins to wear thin, we get a rather touching light romantic comedy switch. Just as some of the oddball characters begin to wear out their welcome, we get new, better oddball characters.
The upshot for me was that this book was loaded with way more hits than misses. It had likeable characters, some laugh out loud moments, some admirable and clever lines that really hit the mark, and a cheerful and upbeat vibe that kept everything moving along briskly. Go figure.
Please note that I received a free advance ecopy of this book from the puiblisher in exchange for a candid review. Apart from that I have no connection at all to either the author or the publisher of this book.
This book begins somewhat unpromisingly. A super-villain, Otto, orbits Earth and makes smartass comments to his robot minions, even though he's actually a bit obtuse and gormless. The jokes all feel vaguely recycled, the characters are familiar, and the villain is not particularly distinguished. Uh-oh, I thought; this is going to be an honorable but ultimately unsatisfying amateur effort. Well, please excuuuuusse me for being such a snot. Turns out that this is more fun and more clever and original than I could possibly have hoped for. It's almost like it took the author about twenty pages to blow off the rust before the real creative juices took over.
Once Otto has been established we get Esmerelda the Empress of Thieves, who will be his villainous nemesis. Then we get Jake, the lantern jawed hero. Then we traipse all over the galaxy double and triple crossing and tricking and deceiving each other. The plot is manic, silly, clever, predictable and then wildly unpredictable. But, the main appeal here, for me, wasn't the plot or action, as such. On every other page there is a throwaway line, a bit of business, or a standalone scene that just tickled me. You get a U.N. General Assembly meeting that feels like a frat party, then a secret good guy headquarters that sends up every good-guy convention that ever was. You get a supervillain let-down-your-hair raucous poker game. But then there's a floating restaurant that is suspended in the air solely by irony. And so on.
Sometimes the book is a parody, sometimes it's earnest superhero stuff, sometimes it's self-conscious metafiction, sometimes it's postmodern and ironic, and sometimes it's just silly.
Of course, not everything works. At least early on, none of the deadpan robots are that funny. Some of the jokes are too broad or don't work. The bigger effects aren't always, well, as effective, as are the smaller throwaways. But this is quibbling. Especially because the book avoids the worst crime - one joke overload. Just as world domination begins to wear thin, we get a buddy comedy. Just as Otto versus the Empress begins to wear thin, we get a rather touching light romantic comedy switch. Just as some of the oddball characters begin to wear out their welcome, we get new, better oddball characters.
The upshot for me was that this book was loaded with way more hits than misses. It had likeable characters, some laugh out loud moments, some admirable and clever lines that really hit the mark, and a cheerful and upbeat vibe that kept everything moving along briskly. Go figure.
Please note that I received a free advance ecopy of this book from the puiblisher in exchange for a candid review. Apart from that I have no connection at all to either the author or the publisher of this book.
July 18, 2017
Otto Von Trapezoid, genio del male che costruisce robot e che detesta gli esseri umani, vive in una stazione spaziale sospesa sopra la terra.
Dopo aver hackerato il sistema di comunicazione delle Nazioni Unite, inizia il suo discorso sul fatto che tutti gli abitanti della terra debbano inchinarsi a lui.
Il problema è che anche Esmeralda Santa Monica, detta l'imperatrice dei ladri, ha hackerato il sistema nello stesso momento di Otto, e chiede il riscatto per aver rubato non solo un'opera, ma l'intero palazzo del Louvre.
I due iniziano a bisticciare via monitor, e ad odiarsi, chiaramente. Il mondo può gestire un solo supercattivo per volta, no?
Ma quando si conoscono meglio, i due inaspettatamente si piacciono, e dopo una serie di appuntamenti romantici, si innamorano.
Inizia così questo surreale e molto divertente libro sci-fi, con una copertina molto colorata ed appariscente che richiama in pieno il suo contenuto.
Se Otto è quello un po' nerd e sociopatico dei due, pronto ad usare una delle sue armi con degli acronimi assurdi su chiunque lo infastidisca, Esmeralda è intelligente, agilissima e con i riflessi pronti.
Chiaramente la loro è una relazione un po' atipica: vivono tra la stazione spaziale e la lussuosissima villa di lei, si divertono insieme compiendo un furto dopo l'altro, e si chiamano con nomignoli affettuosi quale "mia dragonessa" e "mio buco nero".
Tra una partita a poker tra supercattivi e una riunione con i tanto detestati (da parte di entrambi) "suoceri", si snoda la storia d'amore tra supercattivi più divertente che abbia mai letto.
Lo stile è frizzante, veloce ma con la giusta dose di ambientazione, humor nero, humor surreale e personaggi strampalati ma divertentissimi, tutti coinvolti in una storia allegra e piacevolissima da leggere.
Lo consiglio a tutti quelli che amano il genere sci-fi e chi ama le storie mai noiose e sempre divertenti.
Dopo aver hackerato il sistema di comunicazione delle Nazioni Unite, inizia il suo discorso sul fatto che tutti gli abitanti della terra debbano inchinarsi a lui.
Il problema è che anche Esmeralda Santa Monica, detta l'imperatrice dei ladri, ha hackerato il sistema nello stesso momento di Otto, e chiede il riscatto per aver rubato non solo un'opera, ma l'intero palazzo del Louvre.
I due iniziano a bisticciare via monitor, e ad odiarsi, chiaramente. Il mondo può gestire un solo supercattivo per volta, no?
Ma quando si conoscono meglio, i due inaspettatamente si piacciono, e dopo una serie di appuntamenti romantici, si innamorano.
Inizia così questo surreale e molto divertente libro sci-fi, con una copertina molto colorata ed appariscente che richiama in pieno il suo contenuto.
Se Otto è quello un po' nerd e sociopatico dei due, pronto ad usare una delle sue armi con degli acronimi assurdi su chiunque lo infastidisca, Esmeralda è intelligente, agilissima e con i riflessi pronti.
Chiaramente la loro è una relazione un po' atipica: vivono tra la stazione spaziale e la lussuosissima villa di lei, si divertono insieme compiendo un furto dopo l'altro, e si chiamano con nomignoli affettuosi quale "mia dragonessa" e "mio buco nero".
Tra una partita a poker tra supercattivi e una riunione con i tanto detestati (da parte di entrambi) "suoceri", si snoda la storia d'amore tra supercattivi più divertente che abbia mai letto.
Lo stile è frizzante, veloce ma con la giusta dose di ambientazione, humor nero, humor surreale e personaggi strampalati ma divertentissimi, tutti coinvolti in una storia allegra e piacevolissima da leggere.
Lo consiglio a tutti quelli che amano il genere sci-fi e chi ama le storie mai noiose e sempre divertenti.
December 24, 2015
I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
One of the best and funniest books I've read in a long time. The plot is hilarious and the characters lovely. Add a bit of sci-fi, some robots and lots of crazy people and you've got the recipe for an amazing book
Take a mad, nerdy genius scientist and a beautiful, smart thief. You would think they are clichés, but they're awesome and nice, and even if they're evil and plan to conquer the world I found myself liking them and maybe even wishing they would succeed?
My only but is that at the end, there's a battle that seems to go on forever, and it does gets a bit (but only a tiny bit, dull). Otherwise, it's a very graphic book and I could visualize every situation in it.
If someone out there knows somebody in the film industry, cold you please tell them this book would make a fantastic movie?
One of the best and funniest books I've read in a long time. The plot is hilarious and the characters lovely. Add a bit of sci-fi, some robots and lots of crazy people and you've got the recipe for an amazing book
Take a mad, nerdy genius scientist and a beautiful, smart thief. You would think they are clichés, but they're awesome and nice, and even if they're evil and plan to conquer the world I found myself liking them and maybe even wishing they would succeed?
My only but is that at the end, there's a battle that seems to go on forever, and it does gets a bit (but only a tiny bit, dull). Otherwise, it's a very graphic book and I could visualize every situation in it.
If someone out there knows somebody in the film industry, cold you please tell them this book would make a fantastic movie?
October 13, 2015
"Good evening, Earth. Tomorrow... you are ours."
This book was like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy meets Doofenschmirtz from Phineas and Ferb. It was a very funny book and, as someone who really loves nonsense and puns, there was a lot to enjoy. Puns especially, there's a character in this book who speaks pretty much only in puns - which made me so very happy.
The main characters both exceeded my expectations. As well as being quite funny, both individually and as a couple, and getting up to lots of great villainous hi-jinks, they were also way better developed than I had expected. The character development across the board was brilliant, but for Otto and Esmerelda especially I loved how they grew and improved as the novel progressed. Otto starts slightly goofy, a little bit sexist and looking down on everyone. And if, at the end, he still looks down on pretty much everyone, he does at least allow for some equals. Esmerelda was probably my favourite character, I can't remember the last time I wanted to be a character this much. She was stylish and talented and it was amazing how prepared she always seemed for every eventuality.
The side characters are some of the best written I have seen in a while, they were all individual and had their own character quirks and they all developed so much. I really liked Meg and her cats, I could probably read a whole book just about her. I loved the UN, those scenes were always a lot of fun to read. It is not often I become as attached to side characters as I do the main characters. Esmerelda's family infuriated me whilst Otto's family made me so happy every time the popped up.
I do feel like the plot wasn't really there for the first half of the book, it was more a series of events than a cohesive whole until Otto's plan really kicked in. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, the first half of the book was arguably the funniest section and the beginnings of their romance was interesting to read. Their first date especially was incredibly entertaining. However it did mean the first half wasn't as compulsively readable as the second half - which I raced through.
The plan itself was pretty surprising and very super-villainesque (returning again to Doofenschmirtz). I love over the top plans to take over the world and this was a great one. And of course, I always enjoy it when an author can make me root for the super-villains over the "good" guys. There was a plot twist I didn't see coming (although in retrospect I probably should have done) and I loved it. I totally thought it was going in a different direction. I really loved how often I could be surprised by what was happening and yet completely unsurprised that I was being surprised again. At some point I just accepted that nothing was going to happen quite like it seemed it would and to just go with it.
I really enjoyed reading this book, it was a great experience and I loved all the characters, there was not a single character that I didn't enjoy reading about. I do think this would make an amazing movie! There was a lot of action and funny one liners. I would recommend this if you like the humour of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the action and couple rivalry of Mr & Mrs Smith and lots of villainous fun!
You can read this and other reviews at Dual Reads
This book was like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy meets Doofenschmirtz from Phineas and Ferb. It was a very funny book and, as someone who really loves nonsense and puns, there was a lot to enjoy. Puns especially, there's a character in this book who speaks pretty much only in puns - which made me so very happy.
The main characters both exceeded my expectations. As well as being quite funny, both individually and as a couple, and getting up to lots of great villainous hi-jinks, they were also way better developed than I had expected. The character development across the board was brilliant, but for Otto and Esmerelda especially I loved how they grew and improved as the novel progressed. Otto starts slightly goofy, a little bit sexist and looking down on everyone. And if, at the end, he still looks down on pretty much everyone, he does at least allow for some equals. Esmerelda was probably my favourite character, I can't remember the last time I wanted to be a character this much. She was stylish and talented and it was amazing how prepared she always seemed for every eventuality.
The side characters are some of the best written I have seen in a while, they were all individual and had their own character quirks and they all developed so much. I really liked Meg and her cats, I could probably read a whole book just about her. I loved the UN, those scenes were always a lot of fun to read. It is not often I become as attached to side characters as I do the main characters. Esmerelda's family infuriated me whilst Otto's family made me so happy every time the popped up.
I do feel like the plot wasn't really there for the first half of the book, it was more a series of events than a cohesive whole until Otto's plan really kicked in. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, the first half of the book was arguably the funniest section and the beginnings of their romance was interesting to read. Their first date especially was incredibly entertaining. However it did mean the first half wasn't as compulsively readable as the second half - which I raced through.
The plan itself was pretty surprising and very super-villainesque (returning again to Doofenschmirtz). I love over the top plans to take over the world and this was a great one. And of course, I always enjoy it when an author can make me root for the super-villains over the "good" guys. There was a plot twist I didn't see coming (although in retrospect I probably should have done) and I loved it. I totally thought it was going in a different direction. I really loved how often I could be surprised by what was happening and yet completely unsurprised that I was being surprised again. At some point I just accepted that nothing was going to happen quite like it seemed it would and to just go with it.
I really enjoyed reading this book, it was a great experience and I loved all the characters, there was not a single character that I didn't enjoy reading about. I do think this would make an amazing movie! There was a lot of action and funny one liners. I would recommend this if you like the humour of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the action and couple rivalry of Mr & Mrs Smith and lots of villainous fun!
You can read this and other reviews at Dual Reads
July 19, 2025
So the basic premise is simple: the two biggest villains in the world fall in love. They both have evil plans, so imagine a sort of partnership. What can go wrong? (Or better yet, what can go right?)
This book combines the refreshing simplicity of a cartoon (think world-domination-level villains) with the clever complexity of a well-developed satire. It pokes fun at society in smart ways and stereotypes the typical cartoon roles: the hero, the villain, the sidekick. It’s full of action and hilarious scenes. The pacing feels a bit episodic at times, but once the main plot kicks in, it all comes together. It has a definite parody vibe, with its fair share of weird moments. But I like weird, and I liked this.
And the characters? They are so MUCH fun. Our main duo are villains through and through: selfish, self-centered, all that. But they also feel incredibly human, and that’s because they feel love. That simple fact makes them oddly relatable. They never fully abandon their schemes (which just makes it funnier), and somehow, you end up rooting for them. Seriously.
The writing is third-person omniscient, but it’s done strategically. The narrator jumps between scenes and minds just enough to keep things moving, and even without fixed POVs, the characterization works really well. You know who’s speaking by their voice and mannerisms alone. Some of the writing style can feel a little matter-of-fact or fall into clichés, like emotions showing in the eyes or overly stylized tags, but it doesn't ruin the fun.
The action is super dynamic, with fast-paced sequences stacked with playful verbs (“After sliding, kicking, dodging, maneuvering, parkouring…”) You get the idea. It adds to the comic vibe and totally works in context. Plus, the acronyms are hilarious and clever. Even if the writing style isn’t my absolute favorite, it’s the perfect match for this kind of story.
If you're in the mood for a sci-fi comedy with fun writing and villains you can’t help but root for, this book is for you!
This book combines the refreshing simplicity of a cartoon (think world-domination-level villains) with the clever complexity of a well-developed satire. It pokes fun at society in smart ways and stereotypes the typical cartoon roles: the hero, the villain, the sidekick. It’s full of action and hilarious scenes. The pacing feels a bit episodic at times, but once the main plot kicks in, it all comes together. It has a definite parody vibe, with its fair share of weird moments. But I like weird, and I liked this.
And the characters? They are so MUCH fun. Our main duo are villains through and through: selfish, self-centered, all that. But they also feel incredibly human, and that’s because they feel love. That simple fact makes them oddly relatable. They never fully abandon their schemes (which just makes it funnier), and somehow, you end up rooting for them. Seriously.
The writing is third-person omniscient, but it’s done strategically. The narrator jumps between scenes and minds just enough to keep things moving, and even without fixed POVs, the characterization works really well. You know who’s speaking by their voice and mannerisms alone. Some of the writing style can feel a little matter-of-fact or fall into clichés, like emotions showing in the eyes or overly stylized tags, but it doesn't ruin the fun.
The action is super dynamic, with fast-paced sequences stacked with playful verbs (“After sliding, kicking, dodging, maneuvering, parkouring…”) You get the idea. It adds to the comic vibe and totally works in context. Plus, the acronyms are hilarious and clever. Even if the writing style isn’t my absolute favorite, it’s the perfect match for this kind of story.
If you're in the mood for a sci-fi comedy with fun writing and villains you can’t help but root for, this book is for you!
December 16, 2015
This was so over the top and weird. I realize it was designed to be, but it still took a while to get used to. You've got to realize that it's parody on the level of silliness of things like The Naked Gun, or Airplane. Once I realized that, it was a bit easier to read. Though as I continued to read, I got the feeling that it was trying to push into the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy area. It was good - but not that good.
Some great quotes:
"Nothing says caution like a gun that obliterates everything in its path."
(Living in North Alabama, I know several people that could live by that motto. Too bad that's a mad scientist.)
"If any of you have gods to pray to, I'd suggest renouncing them before they disappoint you one last time."
Then I got to the poker game and it got pretty funny.
I have to admit, I didn't laugh on every single page, but there were parts that had me cracking up. The villain Amadeus X. Machina was especially inspired.
Some of it was pretty funny. But some of it just…wasn't. There were parts that had me cracking up, but other parts that had me a bit bored. There were sweet parts that made me smile. But then even more parts that that left me feeling meh.
Which makes it hard to want to get back to a book to finish it.
As much as I enjoyed parts of it, it did seem like it took a while to read.
Would I recommend it? Well, parts of the book were truly inspired and were enjoyable and hilarious. But, some parts, to quote the book, "felt empty, hollow, and tedious."
Thanks to NetGalley and Curiosity Quills for a copy in return for an honest review.
Some great quotes:
"Nothing says caution like a gun that obliterates everything in its path."
(Living in North Alabama, I know several people that could live by that motto. Too bad that's a mad scientist.)
"If any of you have gods to pray to, I'd suggest renouncing them before they disappoint you one last time."
Then I got to the poker game and it got pretty funny.
I have to admit, I didn't laugh on every single page, but there were parts that had me cracking up. The villain Amadeus X. Machina was especially inspired.
Some of it was pretty funny. But some of it just…wasn't. There were parts that had me cracking up, but other parts that had me a bit bored. There were sweet parts that made me smile. But then even more parts that that left me feeling meh.
Which makes it hard to want to get back to a book to finish it.
As much as I enjoyed parts of it, it did seem like it took a while to read.
Would I recommend it? Well, parts of the book were truly inspired and were enjoyable and hilarious. But, some parts, to quote the book, "felt empty, hollow, and tedious."
Thanks to NetGalley and Curiosity Quills for a copy in return for an honest review.
October 16, 2015
Today I finished reading Jesse Baruffi's book Otto Von Trapezoid and the Empress of Thieves. It was a fantastic read and left me feeling good. It is jam-packed with humor, intellectually silly at times, and Jesse Baruffi's analogies are laugh-out-loud funny. It was suspenseful for long stretches and I truly didn't want to put the book down. Because of my laughing or smiling during the entire book, my husband is now reading it!
previously-abandoned
October 16, 2018It's literally 'Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?' fan fiction, which unfortunately reads like it was written in junior high in front of a Commodore 128 in a school media lab somewhere and given only a little polishing before being sent to an editor.
I'd put up with all of that - I might even celebrate that - if it was in fact what it strives to be: funny.
I'd put up with all of that - I might even celebrate that - if it was in fact what it strives to be: funny.
December 9, 2015
Vigorously entertaining science-fiction super-villain adventure parody that may at first seem like a cross between Naked Gun and Austin Powers, but with a serious and strong plot. In his astounding debut novel, author Jesse Baruffi shows us the ridiculous and far-fetched way heroes are presented, as inordinately stupid supermen who can brush any affliction aside and who mindlessly fight for democracy and freedom, defying natural laws, and of course being unfaithful to their girlfriends!
We have Otto Von Trapezoid, a mad scientist supervillain who is emotionally stunted and has a short temper that sometimes leads to inadequacy and poor short-term decisions. Otto’s personality archetype exaggerates the problems scientists cause when they don’t think while at the same time possessing devastating weaponry. There’s Esmerelda, a master thief who has comical martial arts reflexes, being more concerned with style and appearance, and she has a hilarious disregard for incongruity. While Otto must decide between emotions and drones, Esmerelda must contend with her nasty family.
When the villians meet during a particularly memorable dinner, it is to have a civilised conversation, while of course plotting to end one another’s lives. Otto’s failed attempts were funny because he was so agitated and awkward that he missed his mark and managed to casually thwart Esmerelda’s attempts to do away with him. The protagonist point-of-view focus was well-balanced as we see the developing enmity between both, and the story develops with amusing and crucial incidents that cover betrayal and of course their run—in with Jake Indestructible (no introduction necessary). The villains were imaginatively created; mirrors that deflect projectiles, remote controlled boomerang, ROPE (rocket-operated punching explosive), etc. The villains were not overly negative and when they were treacherous it was artfully done, not cynically, and splashed with inventive humour. Though the main traitor was obvious much earlier in the novel, the scenes were delivered with excitement and energy. There’s a serious adventure beneath the puns, jargon, and mocked clichés that is a battle between good and evil where the reader never really switches sides.
Criticism: I didn’t get all of the humour, or why some sub-characters were presented in the ridiculous way they were, such as Otto’s parents. It’s clear many of the jokes were about exaggeration, and as I continued to read and the main plot developed, I must have got used to the style and found much of it humorous. Also, I thought the distrust between Otto and Esmerelda wasn’t fully explored, even if they did occasionally question each other’s secrecy or motives.
Overall, you do not need to understand all the humour to experience this wildly entertaining read that glues our perceptions of heroes and villains into something original, compelling, humorous, layered, and with a plot that continued to evolve at just the right pace. Astounding!
We have Otto Von Trapezoid, a mad scientist supervillain who is emotionally stunted and has a short temper that sometimes leads to inadequacy and poor short-term decisions. Otto’s personality archetype exaggerates the problems scientists cause when they don’t think while at the same time possessing devastating weaponry. There’s Esmerelda, a master thief who has comical martial arts reflexes, being more concerned with style and appearance, and she has a hilarious disregard for incongruity. While Otto must decide between emotions and drones, Esmerelda must contend with her nasty family.
When the villians meet during a particularly memorable dinner, it is to have a civilised conversation, while of course plotting to end one another’s lives. Otto’s failed attempts were funny because he was so agitated and awkward that he missed his mark and managed to casually thwart Esmerelda’s attempts to do away with him. The protagonist point-of-view focus was well-balanced as we see the developing enmity between both, and the story develops with amusing and crucial incidents that cover betrayal and of course their run—in with Jake Indestructible (no introduction necessary). The villains were imaginatively created; mirrors that deflect projectiles, remote controlled boomerang, ROPE (rocket-operated punching explosive), etc. The villains were not overly negative and when they were treacherous it was artfully done, not cynically, and splashed with inventive humour. Though the main traitor was obvious much earlier in the novel, the scenes were delivered with excitement and energy. There’s a serious adventure beneath the puns, jargon, and mocked clichés that is a battle between good and evil where the reader never really switches sides.
Criticism: I didn’t get all of the humour, or why some sub-characters were presented in the ridiculous way they were, such as Otto’s parents. It’s clear many of the jokes were about exaggeration, and as I continued to read and the main plot developed, I must have got used to the style and found much of it humorous. Also, I thought the distrust between Otto and Esmerelda wasn’t fully explored, even if they did occasionally question each other’s secrecy or motives.
Overall, you do not need to understand all the humour to experience this wildly entertaining read that glues our perceptions of heroes and villains into something original, compelling, humorous, layered, and with a plot that continued to evolve at just the right pace. Astounding!
December 18, 2015
What to say... and what not to say? I just finished Jesse Baruffi's debut novel Otto Von Trapezoid and the Empress of Thieves and I loved it. I struggle with what to tell you, as I don't want to spoil any of it for you, yet I feel a duty to tell you enough that you run out as soon as possible to get your hands on a copy.
It's funny. I'd go as far as to say hilarious. So what, you ask? There's a lot of funny stuff out there, you say. The author sets Otto Von Trapezoid apart from everything else by keeping it (mostly) classy. If you're looking for toilet humor and cheap insults aimed at the latest celebrity scandal, look elsewhere. If you're looking for absurdist comedy along the lines of Monty Python, the collected works of Douglas Adams, and the movies of Mel Brooks and the Zucker brothers, you've come to the right place.
The characters are original, and the author does a fantastic job of introducing each one in a way that makes them instantly repulsive for their various foibles. Soon you're laughing at them. Then with them. By the end, I found myself caring about the fate of hero and villain alike. It almost didn't matter who won in the end. No matter who came out on top, it was going to be interesting.
This story of love and high-tech orbital weaponry follows the adventures of the eponymous Otto Von Trapezoid, self-employed master of disaster, who manages, eventually, to get in touch with his feelings, all while pursuing nothing less than total global domination with the aid of his distinctly quirky robotic minions.
Joining him in his escapades is the aforementioned Empress of Thieves, one Esmerelda Santa Monica, a master burglar with style like no other. As Otto's on again-off again-on again-off again nemesis/lover, she manages to steal Von Trapezoid's heart in between stealing the world's treasures.
In a world where the U.N. is primarily interested in getting drunk and racing go-karts, the sanest person may indeed be the mad scientist. I'd tell you more, but it'd be a crime to give any of it away. If you need a good laugh or a thousand, grab a copy any start reading immediately.
It's funny. I'd go as far as to say hilarious. So what, you ask? There's a lot of funny stuff out there, you say. The author sets Otto Von Trapezoid apart from everything else by keeping it (mostly) classy. If you're looking for toilet humor and cheap insults aimed at the latest celebrity scandal, look elsewhere. If you're looking for absurdist comedy along the lines of Monty Python, the collected works of Douglas Adams, and the movies of Mel Brooks and the Zucker brothers, you've come to the right place.
The characters are original, and the author does a fantastic job of introducing each one in a way that makes them instantly repulsive for their various foibles. Soon you're laughing at them. Then with them. By the end, I found myself caring about the fate of hero and villain alike. It almost didn't matter who won in the end. No matter who came out on top, it was going to be interesting.
This story of love and high-tech orbital weaponry follows the adventures of the eponymous Otto Von Trapezoid, self-employed master of disaster, who manages, eventually, to get in touch with his feelings, all while pursuing nothing less than total global domination with the aid of his distinctly quirky robotic minions.
Joining him in his escapades is the aforementioned Empress of Thieves, one Esmerelda Santa Monica, a master burglar with style like no other. As Otto's on again-off again-on again-off again nemesis/lover, she manages to steal Von Trapezoid's heart in between stealing the world's treasures.
In a world where the U.N. is primarily interested in getting drunk and racing go-karts, the sanest person may indeed be the mad scientist. I'd tell you more, but it'd be a crime to give any of it away. If you need a good laugh or a thousand, grab a copy any start reading immediately.
March 12, 2016
Otto Von Trapezoid and the Empress of Thieves by Jesse Baruffi is campy, vampy, SCI-FI comedy that is reminiscent of a Mel Brooks or Monty Python movie (with a pinch of Guardians of the Galaxy thrown into the mix). Come to think of it, Otto Von Trapezoid would make an excellent movie!
I have to confess that Science Fiction is the last genre I would normally choose, but the cover and title of this book captured my attention. I am a sucker for math pun/play-on words! So, now you know the shallow reasons I chose this book. I opened this book, and “BAM”, “KAPOW”, the first sentence had me hooked!
“Good morning, Earth. Today…you are mine.”
This well-written story of two criminal masterminds is filled with fabulous characters. The book stars Otto Von Trapezoid—a nerdy, slightly out of touch, mad scientist, and Esmeralda Santa Monica, the slick, quick, self-proclaimed Empress of Thieves. These two funny villains are absolutely cheesy and totally lovable just as Boris and Natasha of Rocky & Bullwinkle fame. I just couldn’t bring myself to hate either set of infamous antagonists.
Baruffi’s madcap, zany plot is a wild mix of science fiction, humor, and parody. Otto Von Trapezoid is action packed from the start to the finish! There are robot dinosaurs and exploding dinner parties. Families, fellow villains, and heroic superhero, Jake Indestructible, are rich foils to Otto’s and Esmeralda’s plans. I loved the crazy UN General Assembly scenes that felt like a frat party as well as the over-the-top plan to take over the world. There are plenty of laugh-out-loud moments in this book.
I highly recommend that you don’t wait for the movie version. Get a copy of Otto Von Trapezoid and the Empress of Thieves by Jesse Baruffi and start reading!
I received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review which was done in conjunction with Nerd Girl Official: www.nerdgirlofficial.com
I have to confess that Science Fiction is the last genre I would normally choose, but the cover and title of this book captured my attention. I am a sucker for math pun/play-on words! So, now you know the shallow reasons I chose this book. I opened this book, and “BAM”, “KAPOW”, the first sentence had me hooked!
“Good morning, Earth. Today…you are mine.”
This well-written story of two criminal masterminds is filled with fabulous characters. The book stars Otto Von Trapezoid—a nerdy, slightly out of touch, mad scientist, and Esmeralda Santa Monica, the slick, quick, self-proclaimed Empress of Thieves. These two funny villains are absolutely cheesy and totally lovable just as Boris and Natasha of Rocky & Bullwinkle fame. I just couldn’t bring myself to hate either set of infamous antagonists.
Baruffi’s madcap, zany plot is a wild mix of science fiction, humor, and parody. Otto Von Trapezoid is action packed from the start to the finish! There are robot dinosaurs and exploding dinner parties. Families, fellow villains, and heroic superhero, Jake Indestructible, are rich foils to Otto’s and Esmeralda’s plans. I loved the crazy UN General Assembly scenes that felt like a frat party as well as the over-the-top plan to take over the world. There are plenty of laugh-out-loud moments in this book.
I highly recommend that you don’t wait for the movie version. Get a copy of Otto Von Trapezoid and the Empress of Thieves by Jesse Baruffi and start reading!
I received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review which was done in conjunction with Nerd Girl Official: www.nerdgirlofficial.com
November 28, 2015
This is a story about two villains that have similar demands for the UN. They begin to plan to kill one another but when the time comes they find out that hey have a lot more in common and they fall in love. There are a lot of geeky scifi and fantasy references and a lot of goofy humor that made me smile. The mechanical robot t-rex was one of my favorite things and I was sad to see him depart so early. I really wanted to love this book 100%. I really liked the underlying story but there was just too much going on for the length of the book. The acronyms were really cute and funny for the first half of the book but they got a bit old after a while and there were so many that I would suggest maybe a glossary of acronyms for those of us who struggle with it. All in all, I would recommend this for fans of scifi and humor and would love to get a YA audience to review it as well as I think many teens would like this too. I received a free advanced copy of this title from NetGalley for review.
November 6, 2024
After the emotional pummeling I took from Atticus Lish’s Preparation for the Next Life, I needed something light and funny. Otto von Trapezoid and the Empress of Thieves, by Jesse Baruffi, was just what the bibliotherapist would have ordered. This supervillain romance has: sentient and not-so-sentient robots, an indestructible super spy, poison, airships, family snark, thefts of entire museums, and much, much more! And, unlike most superhero/villain satires, the one has emotional depth enough to keep the whole lot from collapsing under its own silly weight...
Read the rest of my review at A Bookish Type. I received a free copy of this ebook from NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.
Read the rest of my review at A Bookish Type. I received a free copy of this ebook from NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.
June 14, 2016
I received an ARC of this book through NetGalley.
I think there are only two words that really describe this book: ridiculous fun. It's silly and completely over-the-top, and even when it's trying too hard, it's a fun read. While I had a good time with it, it didn't really work for me. The main thing that I thought the entire time I was reading this was that it was just trying too hard, trying to fit so many gags in that there wasn't room for much else.
I would rate this a solid 3.5. You won't be getting a complex story, or deep characters, or even razor-sharp wit; you'll get a gleefully absurd book that only really wants to entertain.
I think there are only two words that really describe this book: ridiculous fun. It's silly and completely over-the-top, and even when it's trying too hard, it's a fun read. While I had a good time with it, it didn't really work for me. The main thing that I thought the entire time I was reading this was that it was just trying too hard, trying to fit so many gags in that there wasn't room for much else.
I would rate this a solid 3.5. You won't be getting a complex story, or deep characters, or even razor-sharp wit; you'll get a gleefully absurd book that only really wants to entertain.
February 15, 2017
This book was great fun. Full review over here: https://rickusbookshelf.wordpress.com...
March 5, 2016
Very funny and entertaining. Sort of like a romance between two James Bond super villains but with the comic sensibility of the movie Airplane.
October 14, 2016
This a fantastic novel that spins a satirical tale of super villainous intrigue in a, well, novel way. It follows the trajectory of the unexpected romance that forms between the titular and sub-titular characters, and that path spirals all over the place a rocket with a damaged guidance system. Of course, hilarity ensues. However, past the clever dissection of treacherous tropes lies a story with surprisingly human and well-developed characters (even the non-human ones...you'll see what I mean). As such, I strongly recommend this book to all manner of reader; you're bound to find something you like and find yourself laughing out loud as you compulsively turn page after page to see what happens next. "Literally."
December 24, 2015
Read all my reviews on http://urlphantomhive.booklikes.com
I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review during this blog tour!
Well, this was unexpected. It was definitely not an everyday read. It got me hooked right from the start with it's absurdity. And absurd it was. In this respect it sometimes reminded me of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, because at times it was almost as if a random mix of words was created (like the robotic tapirs or the disposable yacht). Not that I consider this a bad thing, not at all. I enjoyed myself a lot reading it.
Otto and Esmerelda were both quite likeable characters despite their short comings, and I don't know what it is these days but this is the third book in two months with a very interesting AI. SCRAP might have even been my favourite character from this book. However Jake never really came to live for me, and the scenes at the UN were perhaps a bit too weird, even for me.
So, if you're looking for something you definitely haven't read before, if you're willing to accept that nothing is this book is going to be believable (I mean, in the first chapter Esmerelda steals the complete Louvre), if you want a book filled with more acronyms than you may find necessary (though I truly like acronyms), try this book.
UPDATE: December 2015: Review of the three bonus epilogues now available on Wattpad!
I really liked Otto Von Trapezoid And The Empress Of Thieves. It was absurd, weird and a lot of fun to read due to its randomness. So, when I got an email announcing Jesse Baruffi had written three special bonus epilogues, I didn't hesitate.
Prepare for more randomness, absurdity and weirdness. But all in a good way of course. All of them are really short, so if you enjoyed reading the book, I would definitely recommend them. These stories can easily be read in a few minutes. Perfect for when you're terribly behind on your reading challenge?
Requiem for a Twine takes place at a Twine Aid festival and was my personal favourite of the three.
The Further Adventures of the Talking Skull of Teddy Roosevelt is just as weird as the title suggests.
Marooned ties some of the loose ends of the book together.
The stories can all be read on Wattpad.
Thanks to the publisher for providing me with a copy of these stories in exchange for an honest review!
I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review during this blog tour!
Well, this was unexpected. It was definitely not an everyday read. It got me hooked right from the start with it's absurdity. And absurd it was. In this respect it sometimes reminded me of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, because at times it was almost as if a random mix of words was created (like the robotic tapirs or the disposable yacht). Not that I consider this a bad thing, not at all. I enjoyed myself a lot reading it.
Otto and Esmerelda were both quite likeable characters despite their short comings, and I don't know what it is these days but this is the third book in two months with a very interesting AI. SCRAP might have even been my favourite character from this book. However Jake never really came to live for me, and the scenes at the UN were perhaps a bit too weird, even for me.
So, if you're looking for something you definitely haven't read before, if you're willing to accept that nothing is this book is going to be believable (I mean, in the first chapter Esmerelda steals the complete Louvre), if you want a book filled with more acronyms than you may find necessary (though I truly like acronyms), try this book.
UPDATE: December 2015: Review of the three bonus epilogues now available on Wattpad!
I really liked Otto Von Trapezoid And The Empress Of Thieves. It was absurd, weird and a lot of fun to read due to its randomness. So, when I got an email announcing Jesse Baruffi had written three special bonus epilogues, I didn't hesitate.
Prepare for more randomness, absurdity and weirdness. But all in a good way of course. All of them are really short, so if you enjoyed reading the book, I would definitely recommend them. These stories can easily be read in a few minutes. Perfect for when you're terribly behind on your reading challenge?
Requiem for a Twine takes place at a Twine Aid festival and was my personal favourite of the three.
The Further Adventures of the Talking Skull of Teddy Roosevelt is just as weird as the title suggests.
Marooned ties some of the loose ends of the book together.
The stories can all be read on Wattpad.
Thanks to the publisher for providing me with a copy of these stories in exchange for an honest review!
April 25, 2016
This was a really fun book. Really enjoyed it. Full review over here: https://bookishwives.wordpress.com/20...
March 31, 2016
Over the top EVIL
Love it. Absolutely not to miss. Ridiculous definitely, but it was wonderful. Ten out of ten would recommend. Made me begin to cackle maniacally.
Love it. Absolutely not to miss. Ridiculous definitely, but it was wonderful. Ten out of ten would recommend. Made me begin to cackle maniacally.
Read
November 29, 2021Did Not Finish.
Too sophomoric for my tastes and I didn't see that it would improve enough to make it worthwhile.
Too sophomoric for my tastes and I didn't see that it would improve enough to make it worthwhile.
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