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Soar Above: How to Use the Most Profound Part of Your Brain Under Any Kind of Stress
Success in work, love, and life depends on developing habits that activate the powerful prefrontal cortex when we need it most. Unfortunately, under stress, the human brain tends to revert to emotional habits we forged in blame, denial, avoidance, reacting to a jerk like a jerk, and turning our connections into cold shoulders—or worse.
In Soar Above, renowned relationship expert Dr. Steven Stosny offers a ground-breaking formula for building new, pressure-resistant habits. Based on research in psychology, neurobiology, and anthropology, Stosny will show anyone how to switch to the adult brain automatically when things get tough and to soar above the impulse to make things worse. Filled with engaging examples from his lectures and therapeutic work with more than 6,000 clients, he explains how to use two potent laws of emotion interaction-- reciprocity and contagion -- to inspire those around you, creating collaboration and community instead of chaos and confusion.
Most importantly, readers will learn how, through practice, they can get off the treadmill of repeating past mistakes to become their best selves at home, at work, and in the world.
Stress is inevitable in life, but this illuminating book gives anyone the practical tools to rise above.
In Soar Above, renowned relationship expert Dr. Steven Stosny offers a ground-breaking formula for building new, pressure-resistant habits. Based on research in psychology, neurobiology, and anthropology, Stosny will show anyone how to switch to the adult brain automatically when things get tough and to soar above the impulse to make things worse. Filled with engaging examples from his lectures and therapeutic work with more than 6,000 clients, he explains how to use two potent laws of emotion interaction-- reciprocity and contagion -- to inspire those around you, creating collaboration and community instead of chaos and confusion.
Most importantly, readers will learn how, through practice, they can get off the treadmill of repeating past mistakes to become their best selves at home, at work, and in the world.
Stress is inevitable in life, but this illuminating book gives anyone the practical tools to rise above.
240 pages, Paperback
First published April 5, 2016
35 people are currently reading
147 people want to read
About the author
Steven Stosny
46 books48 followersSteven Stosny, Ph.D., is the founder of CompassionPower. His recent books are, Soar Above: How to Use the Most Profound Part of Your Brain Under Any Kind of Stress, Living and Loving after Betrayal, How to Improve your Marriage without Talking about It: Finding Love beyond Words, Love without Hurt, The Powerful Self, and Treating Attachment Abuse. He has treated over 6,000 clients for various forms of anger, abuse, and violence. He has appeared on “The Oprah Winfrey Show,” “The Today Show,” “CBS Sunday Morning,” many CNN shows, and in the New York Times, Washington Post, U.S. News & World Report, WSJ, Esquire, Cosmopolitan, O, Psychology Today, USA Today. He has taught at the University of Maryland and at St. Mary’s College of Maryland. He currently has a blog on Psychologytoday.com with over 9 million views.
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
December 16, 2015
Using the latest researches in psychology, neurobiology and anthropology, Dr. Steven Stosny demonstrates how even smart people “make the same mistakes over and over, even if they know better”.
Why diets fail, relationships doesn’t last or why we can’t go further in life is what “Soar Above” tries to explain, embracing the psychological concept that much of what we do, we do by habit.
Usually mistakes are made because under stress the less sophisticated part of our brain, the Toddler brain, overrides the ability of what it’s called the Adult brain, to use what we’ve learned.
This self-help book is different from the others I’ve read; it’s technical but quite easy to go after, it gives you instruments to make a real change learning how to create positive habits and gain control of the Adult brain, soaring above the impulse to make the same mistakes that keep us on the ground.
*This book was kindly sent to me via NetGalley by HCI Books*
Why diets fail, relationships doesn’t last or why we can’t go further in life is what “Soar Above” tries to explain, embracing the psychological concept that much of what we do, we do by habit.
Usually mistakes are made because under stress the less sophisticated part of our brain, the Toddler brain, overrides the ability of what it’s called the Adult brain, to use what we’ve learned.
This self-help book is different from the others I’ve read; it’s technical but quite easy to go after, it gives you instruments to make a real change learning how to create positive habits and gain control of the Adult brain, soaring above the impulse to make the same mistakes that keep us on the ground.
*This book was kindly sent to me via NetGalley by HCI Books*
June 21, 2018
Helpful, well writren
My husband and i have hit a rough patch. This book has helped me see why. We both have been operating in Toddler brain, expressing resentment and failing to improve anything. How can we improve our lives when we are so focused on blaming the other so we can feel superior? I plan to use this book to fundamentally change my behavior and outlook. And i cant wait to show my husband.
My husband and i have hit a rough patch. This book has helped me see why. We both have been operating in Toddler brain, expressing resentment and failing to improve anything. How can we improve our lives when we are so focused on blaming the other so we can feel superior? I plan to use this book to fundamentally change my behavior and outlook. And i cant wait to show my husband.
June 18, 2016
It is incredible to see how often we respond to life around us using our “toddler brain” instead of our “adult brain.” Stosny has produced an eye-opening book that guides the reader to understand his or her own “self”, how it has formed, how it responds to the vagrancies of life, and how those responses many times just don’t get us anywhere. Time and time again we ask, why am I stuck in a rut? Here is the answer, because “Mr. Hyde can't remember what Dr. Jekyll learned in anger management.”
Stosny uses whit, insight from years of experience, and scientific research to show the reader how the toddler brain develops, hangs around, and all too often takes charge. It is the goal of the author to help his readers understand this phenomenon and break out of the habits that have enslaved them, causing them so many difficulties. Using pointed examples, Stonsy clarifies how we can change the default settings of our brain so that the “adult brain” plays a more significant role in our daily lives.
The most significant part of the book, for me, was the authors explanations of the ripple effect of negative (always more powerful) and positive activities and how they affect our web of relationships and through them the rest of humanity. His insistence that we live what we value and act upon those values was refreshing. No excuses, know yourself, know your values, and pointed make them the focus from which you react to those things around you. As you change, those around you will change, and the world will be a better place as we soar above.
Stosny uses whit, insight from years of experience, and scientific research to show the reader how the toddler brain develops, hangs around, and all too often takes charge. It is the goal of the author to help his readers understand this phenomenon and break out of the habits that have enslaved them, causing them so many difficulties. Using pointed examples, Stonsy clarifies how we can change the default settings of our brain so that the “adult brain” plays a more significant role in our daily lives.
The most significant part of the book, for me, was the authors explanations of the ripple effect of negative (always more powerful) and positive activities and how they affect our web of relationships and through them the rest of humanity. His insistence that we live what we value and act upon those values was refreshing. No excuses, know yourself, know your values, and pointed make them the focus from which you react to those things around you. As you change, those around you will change, and the world will be a better place as we soar above.
April 27, 2019
Though it took me quite a while to read (as it required a certain state of mind to take the content in), I think it's a very good book with practical ways of approaching life and "soaring above" the toddler brain. I highly recommend it!
This will be a book that I keep reading again and again.
This will be a book that I keep reading again and again.
July 20, 2019
This book is so good I plan on reading it again. He laid out some concepts I have not heard before.
February 13, 2020
Take your time with this one, as there are lots of valuable things to consider and mull over.
August 25, 2022
Insightful. It was repetitive at times (e.g when discussing emotion contagion and the butterfly effect).
July 7, 2016
Interesting book on the human psychology, specifically how our brain operates when dealing with stressors. The author, Dr. Steven Stosny describes the 'toddler brain' versus the 'adult brain'; he describes situations where we can shift our paradigm from toddler to adult when handling every day situations. He describes how we should not react with our feelings, but react with our values. This book will help you better understand your behavior and that of others, while helping you find more mature and rewarding ways to handle the inevitable stresses of life.
March 26, 2017
This is the best personal growth type book I believe I have ever read. Practicing the skills Dr. Stosny spells out can be life-changing for anyone if they allow it. Listening to this book took me a considerable amount of time because I kept going back to relisten in order to allow the points he made to really sink in. In my opinion, this book is extremely deep, and rich. That deepness and richness, IS the value. I not only listened to this book on audible, I purchased a physical copy to refer back to. I cannot recommend this book highly enough.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews