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Understanding How Others Misunderstand You: A Unique and Proven Plan for Strengthening Personal Relationships
Using the pioneering DISC profile, this book teaches--in clear terms--how to build closer, more understanding relationships at home, work and church.
304 pages, Paperback
First published August 1, 1990
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
August 21, 2024
A CHRISTIAN PRESENTATION OF A "FOUR TEMPERAMENTS" MODEL OF PERSONALITY
The authors wrote in the Preface to this 1994 book, "In 1979, Betty Bowman introduced me [Voges] to Dr. John Geier's DISC model of behavior and the instrument he developed, 'The Personal Profile System.' I was given the opportunity to modify the secular instrument to include biblical characters, and in 1984 the 'Biblical Personal Profile' instrument was published... As a licensed marriage and family therapist... I [Braund] recognized it as a valuable tool for understanding one another... I was encouraged to call Ken Voges... Out of that experience, a close working relationship developed..." (Pg. 12-13) They add, "we can improve our awareness and acceptance of differences, and we can learn to respond to others in a positive rather than a negative way. It is the chief message of this book to show how this can be done." (Pg. 17)
They note, "There is much discussion these days about going too far in meeting the needs of others, and neglecting ourselves. It is a condition called 'codependency,' which presumably makes a person neutorically dependent on the approval of others by an obsession with meeting their needs. There is no doubt that a person can become 'unbalanced' to the point of self-neglect. However, writers on codependency must be cautious not to lose sight of the biblical attitude of sacrificial love and commitment to meeting others' needs." Pg. 36)
Voges writes, "In 1984, the 'Biblical Personal Profile' was published ... using the same basic terminology but applying the biblical characters to each of the styles. The following shows the DISC model's similarity to the traditional four-temperaments model of [Tim] LaHaye ['Spirit-Controlled Temperament'], [Florence] Littauer ['Personality Plus: How to Understand Others by Understanding Yourself'], and [Gordon] Van Rooy:... ['Choleric/Dominance; Sanguine/Influencing; Phlegmatic/Steadiness; Melancholy/Compliance.']" (Pg. 42)
They explain, "As you learn about the personality styles, you will learn the labels associated with each. Before one seminar, Mary tersely exclaimed, 'I'm not sure I want to learn how to just label people.' We agreed with her---it was not OUR goal either! The personality trait descriptions should not be used to typecast or label others or, conversely, to excuse ourselves for negative behavior. If a label helps to clarify differences, then it is useful, but if it is used to create barriers to communication, it is confining." (Pg. 51)
They add, "By now you can see that there is a sense of order and harmony in these four personality styles---we need all of them to be whole." (Pg. 226) They conclude, "no one personality style is superior, and ... the behavior of each style is normal when understood in terms of an expression of needs... the strengths of our personality styles can become weaknesses when taken to their extremes... But as children of God, we need to transcend our natural tendencies and do something supernatural... This process is called transformation." (Pg. 252)
Christians who find such models useful may enjoy this book; others who find them too rigid had best avoid it.
The authors wrote in the Preface to this 1994 book, "In 1979, Betty Bowman introduced me [Voges] to Dr. John Geier's DISC model of behavior and the instrument he developed, 'The Personal Profile System.' I was given the opportunity to modify the secular instrument to include biblical characters, and in 1984 the 'Biblical Personal Profile' instrument was published... As a licensed marriage and family therapist... I [Braund] recognized it as a valuable tool for understanding one another... I was encouraged to call Ken Voges... Out of that experience, a close working relationship developed..." (Pg. 12-13) They add, "we can improve our awareness and acceptance of differences, and we can learn to respond to others in a positive rather than a negative way. It is the chief message of this book to show how this can be done." (Pg. 17)
They note, "There is much discussion these days about going too far in meeting the needs of others, and neglecting ourselves. It is a condition called 'codependency,' which presumably makes a person neutorically dependent on the approval of others by an obsession with meeting their needs. There is no doubt that a person can become 'unbalanced' to the point of self-neglect. However, writers on codependency must be cautious not to lose sight of the biblical attitude of sacrificial love and commitment to meeting others' needs." Pg. 36)
Voges writes, "In 1984, the 'Biblical Personal Profile' was published ... using the same basic terminology but applying the biblical characters to each of the styles. The following shows the DISC model's similarity to the traditional four-temperaments model of [Tim] LaHaye ['Spirit-Controlled Temperament'], [Florence] Littauer ['Personality Plus: How to Understand Others by Understanding Yourself'], and [Gordon] Van Rooy:... ['Choleric/Dominance; Sanguine/Influencing; Phlegmatic/Steadiness; Melancholy/Compliance.']" (Pg. 42)
They explain, "As you learn about the personality styles, you will learn the labels associated with each. Before one seminar, Mary tersely exclaimed, 'I'm not sure I want to learn how to just label people.' We agreed with her---it was not OUR goal either! The personality trait descriptions should not be used to typecast or label others or, conversely, to excuse ourselves for negative behavior. If a label helps to clarify differences, then it is useful, but if it is used to create barriers to communication, it is confining." (Pg. 51)
They add, "By now you can see that there is a sense of order and harmony in these four personality styles---we need all of them to be whole." (Pg. 226) They conclude, "no one personality style is superior, and ... the behavior of each style is normal when understood in terms of an expression of needs... the strengths of our personality styles can become weaknesses when taken to their extremes... But as children of God, we need to transcend our natural tendencies and do something supernatural... This process is called transformation." (Pg. 252)
Christians who find such models useful may enjoy this book; others who find them too rigid had best avoid it.
Read
March 26, 2020Great read.
March 27, 2013
This is an amazing book!!! Have you ever wondered why certain people just kinda drive you nuts? Why are some more aggressive than others? This book explains it and more. Going through the DISC profiles in a gentle way, the authors explain about each personality and what it's strengths and weaknesses are plus much more. They also show how (for most people) you are probably a combination and go through what those combos are.
What I loved the most was that they tied it all back to Christ and the Bible. Did you ever wonder why Jesus was so soft-spoken with some people, then very in-your-face with others? It was because He was speaking to them in their personality. This book helps you learn how to do the same thing for yourself. How to relate to others the way they are.
This is one of the few books that everyone should have. Go out and buy it/borrow it! I can't stress enough how much this has shown me about myself and how I WANT to relate to others, and shown me what others see and how they NEED to be related to!
What I loved the most was that they tied it all back to Christ and the Bible. Did you ever wonder why Jesus was so soft-spoken with some people, then very in-your-face with others? It was because He was speaking to them in their personality. This book helps you learn how to do the same thing for yourself. How to relate to others the way they are.
This is one of the few books that everyone should have. Go out and buy it/borrow it! I can't stress enough how much this has shown me about myself and how I WANT to relate to others, and shown me what others see and how they NEED to be related to!
September 16, 2016
I'm fascinated by personality traits and this one focuses on the DISC profile and how each personality style operates in a group setting, under stress, and relates to other personality styles. I think this is an amazing book for anyone who works with people. It follows Biblical characters and how they each fall into the varying personality traits and the way God responded to them in a way that played to their strengths. Moses as a High C, Abraham as a High S, Sarah as a High D and King Saul as a high I. As someone who is working toward personal growth this has been a part of my journey in understanding myself and responding to others.
April 26, 2008
kind of fun, goes through the D.I.S.C. personalities in detail, I'm just not overly fond of workbooks.
Read
January 11, 2013Good book to know yourself and others better
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews