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Life's Too Short to Pretend You're Not Religious

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For many of us, the word "religious" immediately evokes thoughts of brainwashing, violence and eye-rubbingly tiresome conversations. Why not be done with it? David Dark argues that it's not that simple. The ease with which we put the label on others without applying it to ourselves is an evasion, a way of avoiding awareness of our own messy allegiances. Dark writes: "If what we believe is what we see is what we do is who we are, there's no getting away from religion." Both incisive and entertaining, Life's Too Short to Pretend You're Not Religious combines Dark's keen powers of cultural observation with candor and wit. Equal parts memoir and analysis, Dark persuasively argues that the fact of religion is the fact of relationship. It's the shape our love takes, the lived witness of everything we're up to for better or worse, because witness knows no division. Looking hard at our weird religious background (Dark maintains we all have one) can bring the actual content of our everyday existence the good, the bad and the glaringly inconsistent to fuller consciousness. By doing so, we can more practically envision an undivided life and reclaim the idea of being "religious.""

199 pages, Hardcover

First published February 15, 2016

64 people are currently reading
1117 people want to read

About the author

David Dark

13 books70 followers
David Dark is the critically acclaimed author of "The Sacredness of Questioning Everything," "Everyday Apocalypse: The Sacred Revealed in Radiohead, The Simpsons, and Other Pop Culture Icons" and "The Gospel According To America: A Meditation on a God-blessed, Christ-haunted Idea." An educator, Dark is currently pursuing his PhD in Religious Studies at Vanderbilt University. He has had articles published in Paste, Oxford American, Books and Culture, Christian Century, among others. A frequent speaker, Dark has also appeared on C-SPAN’s Book-TV and in an award-winning documentary, "Marketing the Message." He lives with his singer-songwriter wife, Sarah Masen, and their three children in Nashville.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 63 reviews
Profile Image for Rebecca.
4,190 reviews3,451 followers
March 5, 2016
What a fantastic title. Etymologically, the word “religion” means to bind together again. Simply put, Dark’s thesis is that we’re all connected: we are in relationship with the people around us and can’t pretend otherwise. What we need is a shared vision for our shared life, and that involves engaging with other people. No pie-in-the-sky theology here; Dark affirms Daniel Berrigan’s assertion that “the actual world is our only world,” so things like climate change, gun control, immigration, and foreign policy are religious issues because they affect us all in this life. Together we have to imagine another story that isn’t capitalism and American imperialism as usual. Our practices don’t always match up with our convictions, but there is no such thing as a silent prophet.

We’re in it for the long haul, Dark says, so we owe it to each other (our “chother,” he writes, appropriating his son’s misunderstanding in a way reminiscent of John Irving’s “undertoad”) to pay attention, to really be here and see what we’re seeing rather than giving in to the shallowness and impatience that technology encourages. To that end, Dark recommends keeping an “attention collection” of experiences and artwork, but really what he’s talking about is mindfulness. Although it’s clear that Dark is coming from a Christian perspective, any ideology could be included under his basic definition of religion as a belief system.

Two of Dark’s models are Wendell Berry and Thomas Merton. There was a long chapter about science fiction (Dr. Who, etc.) that lost me a bit, and I thought Dark’s prose was marked by overly complicated sentences and too many quotations from other writers, but I felt his overall message was worthwhile. Here are a couple representative passages:

Poetry happens when I’m made to really see something I’ve overlooked, something needful, something that might bring me back to myself.

I take it to be a provocatively countercultural and commonsensical call to not be in perpetual flight, to not be always elsewhere in mind and spirit, reaching after the false promise of one more immortality project. It’s a call to make instead that rare saving choice to be more alive to where you are situated, to be more radically present.

[Dark is married to singer-songwriter Sarah Masen, a name that might ring a bell for those who were into Christian music in the late 1990s.]
Profile Image for Sam Torode.
Author 34 books175 followers
February 22, 2016
This is an absorbing, entertaining, challenging book. It's a poetic conversation, rather than an argument about or defense of belief. It's a call for thinking critically, seeing more clearly, and acting kindly (not the expected sort of altar call). I came away thinking it could have just as aptly been titled "Life's too Short to Pretend You're Religious."
Profile Image for Blair Hodges .
513 reviews97 followers
November 4, 2017
Dark's book is an insightful, meandering redefinition of "religion" with the goal of bringing everyone under its scope, whether they belong to a faith tradition (or perhaps whether they even believe in a traditional "God") or not.

Dark argues that religion is constituted by our relationships—with family and friends, with strangers, with humanity, with traditional religion, with pop culture, with music and poetry, art and literature. Religion is the manifestation of the deep human need to belong. Dark repeatedly issues calls to be more attentive to every day experience, explaining that religion is enacted by everyone regardless of what they want to call it, and that what we do is a manifestation of what we love, and therefore what we worship.

Dark doesn't spend much time here unpacking possible problems with his avenues of thought. For instance, he trades on the Matrix blue pill idea without directly warning that a quest for deeper knowledge or sharper perception can be just as divisive and dogmatic as the satisfaction of a creed already achieved. The seeds of such a warning are present, but he doesn't unpack them here.

I didn't have a clear sense of who the intended audience for this book was. As a result, a few of his lines of thought went over my head. At times it seemed like it was pitched to the so-called religious "Nones"—the growing unaffiliated who aren't necessarily done with faith even if they aren't allied to a particular tradition. It was still worth the read for me.
Profile Image for Joel Hicks.
20 reviews1 follower
February 4, 2023
David Dark is the author that most frequently and eloquently names my specific little anxieties when it comes to the possibility of undivided living. In this book, he invites us to poetically consider that which enlivens us to see the other as a gift.
Profile Image for Jules.
243 reviews4 followers
February 11, 2022
I first heard about Dark through an episode of the podcast Sacred Tension called “Overcoming the Faith Cartel” in which he was a guest - I don’t remember much about it, but whatever he said intrigued me enough to buy his book and continue to be excited about it years later.

ok so overall, this book was interesting and I would generally recommend it - it wasn’t life changing tho and I think I expected it to be.

also Dark is Christian and that’s all well and good but I kinda felt like it made up too much of his arguments in the book and found its way into things too much - it didn’t bother me really at first, but I thought it was worth mentioning. It just seemed like those examples were so much more prevalent compared to the ones he used from other cultures and/or “traditional” religions.

my favorite thing about this book however, is the way Dark talks about poetry. It really reminded me of the ways I look at the world sometimes - like the subtle breath of the cold wind on my face or the light coating of ice on the trees. He connected poetry and mindfulness in ways that I hadn’t fully before and it made my heart happy.


Lastly here are some quotes that I wrote down while reading:

“Life’s too short to pretend that we already have what we haven’t, or that we are when we honestly aren’t.” (115)

“Church is a verb, a peopled activity that, in one sense, ends when an institution begins.” - paraphrasing the words of Will Campbell (117)

“it is only by really loving and forgiving others as members of ourselves that we can begin to really love, forgive or cherish ourselves at all.” (137)

“I am because we are.” (141)

“Life’s too short to be lived in a swirl of perceived self-attribution or rather, life can’t begin to be properly perceived at all when we’re in its throes… all those little distancings add up after a while till we’re too debilitatingly detached from reality to meaningfully see ourselves beautifully at all.” (143)

“the culture we call poetry is human seriousness itself. It’s the work of making all things new, redeeming the time and bodying forth newness of life and living and social possibility.” (174)
Profile Image for Trae Cadenhead.
11 reviews1 follower
December 4, 2016
Paints one of the best pictures I've seen of how to live honestly, intentionally, and relationally. The book is not so much about religion as it is about a way of living life, but Dark would argue that what you value determines how you live life, which is your religion.
Profile Image for John Martindale.
891 reviews105 followers
July 10, 2023
A friend of mine mentioned they are going through this work in a book group at church, so, I listened to the audiobook to see if I’d be interested in attending, and I learned, that I won’t be going.

The audiobook version must have been an updated edition, so Dark went through the book, to see how many times he could mention contemporary events like January 6th, and slip in examples of people not wearing a mask as “bad” religion. Later on, it is increasingly clear that all things woke = good religion, and anything not woke = bad religion. I have always considered woke to be deeply religious, so it is nice this is acknowledged. Anyhow, we learn teaching critical race theory to the children, is good, not doing so is bad religion. Kneeling at football games is religious heroism, the BLM protest and riots are amongst the most holy, sacred, righteous, and inspiring acts ever. Capitalism, meritocracy, private property, and the rest are of course bad—like Marx, we need to dream, like his follower, we must change the world and bring utopia. Good religion of course is preaching woke. A pastor has an obligation to preach about global warming, and to address whiteness and privilege. If you are Woke, then this book will be music to your years.

From what I wrote, I made it sound like all of it is politics, but it’s not… and what is sad, is even the things politically neutral fell flat. Some converts to the Woke cult, like Brian McLaren, resonate with me (the 50% of their books that isn’t explicitly political that is), I was hoping it would be the same with Dark. But really it is Meh… it was not enjoyable or memorable.

In practice, Dark demonstrates in the book that religion is simply political belief and praxis, and since he is a leftist, true and good religion is Woke. No doubt, from his perspective, it does seem the radical left holds out the only path for a better and more just and equitable future.
While I don’t think Dark is stupid or evil, from my vantage, he is deceived and tragically misguided—thinking the way to put out a fire is with gasoline and the way to build is with dynamite.
If we are going to call politics religion, and then label what we think is bad politics, as bad religion, I would think most of what Dark supports is "bad" religion. I am a classical liberal and from my own perspective, my belief and praxis follow from what I think is good and true. I affirm ideals and principles which will make for a better and more just world. Yet, he would simply label everything I think as good, as bad religion. This book simply turns religion into partisan politics.

David Dark does seem to be a woke Supremacist and a left-wing fundamentalist, so, of course, in his absolute certitude, his embracing tribal identity politics, and painting a black-and-white world with good guys (the woke) and bad guys (non-woke), he is going to write as if everyone who isn’t part of the Woke cult as if they knowingly and intentionally are being evil—that their not wearing a mask is precisely because they KNOW masks DO work and wearing them would save lives—but in their contempt for human life, they refuse. I guess I just want some acknowledgment that Dark's enemies might not have bad intentions, that from their own perspective (even if this is misguided) they are only doing what they think is right.

If we grant Dark’s contention that religion is politics, then I think “good” and “bad” is based upon what we are convinced of and how we see things, and this is tied to our plausibility structure, the voices that resonate with us, our experiences, what we’ve heard and what makes sense. If religion is simply politics, I would say the Republicans are “Good” religious people (as they are believing and doing what they think is best), and Democrats are also “Good” religious people (as they also are believing and doing what they think is best). And yet, I get it. If the author did the opposite, and the entire book was on how Woke is a BAD religion, incredibly toxic, how Woke has original sin (whiteness), but no grace and no chance of redemption, how it projects on the other side what it does, how it cancels and slanders, how it doesn’t seek to understand, but tears down, believing the way to bring utopia is through destruction, and racial harmony is through race wars and hatred, and the way to bring equity is through fulminating envy and resentment and rage and redistribute. Then yes, that would be music to my ears, I’d be nodding and smiling all along. Of course, no one who is part of the woke cult could listen and enjoy the book. So what the heck, for those who are on the left, who want to see religion as synonymous with politics, give the book a listen, at least the political aspects will be a delight.
Profile Image for Stephen Lamb.
115 reviews11 followers
January 26, 2016
Took advantage of the snow day to finish reading the galleys of David Dark's new book, Life's Too Short to Pretend You're Not Religious. This is David's follow up to The Sacredness of Questioning Everything (2009), a book I loved so much I bought copies in bulk from him to give away. In 2010, after cheering him on as he defended his PhD thesis at Vanderbilt University, Insert Soul Here: The Witness of Sacramental Poetics as Apocalyptic for the People, I got to read it, and it held me over until he passed along an early draft of this book near the end of 2014. I'm excited that it is finally on its way out into the world, and very much looking forward to the conversations it starts.

A favorite paragraph that gets to the heart of what the book is about:
When we really admit to the fact of our own context, we’re less prone to deny others the complications of their own and empathy becomes a living possibility. In this sense, the good news about weird religious backgrounds is that we all have one, and there are as many as there are people. Numbering ourselves among those who conduct their lives according to strange ideas about the world, acting out one form of devotion after another, whether inspired or ill-conceived, means refusing to keep ourselves aloof from the rest of humanity and accepting a place among our fellow pilgrims also searching for meaning, also trying to make sense of their own lives, and also living with the always-difficult and pressing question of what to do in light of what we know. We begin to take up the task of empathy when we’re susceptible to the sense that the inner lives of others might be as real and as realistic as our own. Are we committed to donning, again and again, the mantle of the merely human, to take up a place as human beings among human beings?
Profile Image for Jonathan.
170 reviews2 followers
October 14, 2019
I really enjoyed this book, but I might hesitate before recommending it. Dark gives words to some thoughts I'd been vaguely thinking, and his naming of phenomena is a valuable gift. But the book is also fairly discursive and perhaps not worth the effort if you're not already interested in what he's, in his words, "up to."

I think the premise--expressed at the book's start--is much needed with regard to our current polarization: "I'm not trying to encourage anyone to begin self-identifying _as_ religious. That's as futile and redundant as calling yourself political or cultural. But I _am_ arguing that we should cease and desist from referring to others as religious as if they're participants in games we ourselves aren't playing, as if they're somehow weirdly and hopelessly enmeshed in cultures of which we're always only detached observers. On the one hand, this is a distancing move that keeps us detached from the fact of our own enthusiasms, our own loves. But it also holds another person--the ostensibly religious person--under a scrutiny I have yet to apply to myself."
Profile Image for Raoul G.
200 reviews23 followers
January 17, 2020
In Life’s Too Short to Pretend You’re Not Religious, the author David Dark argues exactly what the title suggests. Whether you like it or not, each one of us is in a sense religious. Of course this begs a definition of the term 'religious'. Throughout the book Dark offers multiple nuances of a definition of this loaded term. Here is one of them:

“We all want to know who we are, where and how we fit in, and what our lives might yet mean. An in this sense, religion might be the best word we have for seeing, naming, confessing and really waking up to what we’re after in all we do, of becoming aware of what’s going on in our minds.”

So here, religion is understood as conscious or unconscious convictions, stories and understandings that drive us and that leave their fingerprints on all our actions.

“In this sense, we’re never not speaking and acting upon our religion. We’re never not involved in everyday worship.”

In this book Dark tries to convince his readers of the importance of recognizing our religion, or to put it in other words, to recognize the lenses through which we view the world. He invites us to look hard and honestly at our lives, to level with ourselves and abandon dysfunctional ideas for better ones: “truer, livelier, more sustainable ways of negotiating our existence.”
In the course of the book he tries to dismantle some of the dysfunctional ideas we as humans are inclined to hold to: us-vs-them mentality, denial of our interconnectedness and our dependence on each other, prejudiced labelling of other people, oversimplification and inattentiveness are some of them.

Although the influence of his specific Christian religion can be seen on most pages in his visions of social justice, love of neighbour, community, dignity and compassion, the author does not try to push his own religious convictions on the reader. Instead, in one chapter, he talks about his own religious upbringing, and about the fact that religious upbringings are always “mixed bags”. But even here he reminds us that there are no people without religious upbringing. Most likely you grew up for example in the 'capitalist faith'.

Even though Dark is a confessional Christian who goes to church regularly, he doesn’t mention God in this book all that often. His religion is a more earthy one: he talks about heaven having nowhere else to happen but here and calls us to a deeper, more intense engagement with the one world we’re in. The way in which Dark holds his believe lightly, is refreshing. He is not clinging to doctrine but contends that your religion is seen most clearly in the way you act and live everyday and not so much in what you tell yourself you believe:

“The demands of true love are almost scandalously obvious and much more demanding than saying or trying to convince others we believe certain impossible-to-prove things. Which is why, as Vincent Harding tells us, love trumps doctrine every time.”

These are just some of the many interesting ideas Dark curates in this book. He uses bits of what he calls his “attention collection” to explain many of these ideas. This attention collection contains artefacts of pop culture, sacred texts, poems, science-fiction stories, songs, and personal experiences which spoke to him in a special way and which taught him something. These bits are scattered all throughout the book and are meant not only as examples, but also serve as a call for the reader to live more attentively and to consume art and media in a more thoughtful way. Maybe we too can gain some insight into the depths and sacredness of life if we open our eyes to what happens around us, to what Thom Yorke sings in that Radiohead song, to what that poem of Daniel Berrigan wants to say, to what that dialogue in a Bojack Horseman episode reveals about being human, and so on. I guess Dark expands more on this idea in another of his books (Everyday Apocalypse: The Sacred Revealed in Radiohead, the Simpsons, and Other Pop Culture Icons).

To conclude, I really and honestly wanted to like this book more than I did given the interesting ideas he brings forth, but I couldn’t really get into his writing style, I guess. Although there are many beautiful formulations that I very much liked, other times I found myself getting lost on the pages, losing my attention and not being really captivated by the text. Nonetheless, this is not a bad book, and I’m glad I read it.
Profile Image for Jeremy Garber.
323 reviews
January 10, 2023
There are lots of folks who claims they’re “spiritual but not religious” nowadays. David Dark, professor of theology at Belmont University, provides a fully-grounded answer as to why everybody is religious at their heart instead. Dark displays the enviable talent of explaining complicated theory in accessible and entertaining prose. At its heart, his argument is the general premise of academic religious studies: that religion is our apparatus of meaning-making in the world. Dark divides his attention between explaining this concept using myriads of examples from popular culture, and trying hard to emphasize that the “spiritual but not religious” concept is really a form of shielding ourselves from the reality of our own ideological limitations. He comments, “In this view, religion is only a word for the way intellectually undeveloped people get carried away, a snob’s word, and it strikes me as a strange disowning of one’s own vulnerability and, if you like, gullibility; it’s a rude denial of the fact of our common creatureliness.” The rest of the book explores this dichotomy in all its nuanced complexity.

Dark opens his book in the introduction, “Religion Happens,” by commenting: ““When I label people, I no longer have to deal with them thoughtfully. I no longer have to feel overwhelmed by their complexity, the lives they live, the dreams they have. I know exactly where they are inside—or forever outside—my field of care, because they’ve been taken care of. The mystery of their existence has been solved and filed away before I’ve had a chance to be moved by them or even begun to catch a glimpse of who they might be. They’ve been neutralized. There’s hardly any action quite so undemanding, so utterly unimaginative, as the affixing of a label. It’s the costliest of mental shortcuts.” (13) He then defines religion as “controlling story,” our narrative of what’s really going on. For Dark, religion is at its heart connectivity, nuance, relationship and witness – us sharing our stories in vulnerability and learning from others as well. He provides multiple examples of this religion in culture, running through a list of some of my favorite authors and theologians – Dr. Who, Philip K. Dick, and Octavia Butler, as well as Vincent Harding, Thomas Merton, and Daniel Berrigan.

I loved Dark’s examples, I loved the theoretical underpinnings of his theology, and I loved the heart that underlied his work. He insists that connection and nuance are at the heart of what it means to be human, to be religious, and to survive together in this perilous world. Dark says, “As someone who has dared to try to teach people for most of my adult life, I often suspect that what I’m up to is, in large part, an effort to try to stop people from becoming bored and giving up too soon, to help them find their own lives and the lives of others powerfully interesting, weird and somehow beautiful.” I share his mission word-for-word, and I hope his book will invite others to do so as well. A great book for church discussions, for pastors and theologians, and for undergraduate and graduate classes in theory of religion and religion and popular culture.
Profile Image for Mike Young.
12 reviews2 followers
August 22, 2016
I simply can't recommend this book highly enough. I experience the world differently after reading it. It seems we have all been taught to hurriedly claim the moral high ground and then defend it at all costs. We traditionally religious people often do this with claims of God being on our side thinking that to be the trump card ending all debate. Others quickly quickly reject those claims as so much superstition and claim their enlightened status as their own coup de gras. This plays out in discussions of spirituality, religious debates, political differences, sexuality, etc. We see this constantly in the binary arguments filling our social media feeds with all the nuance that 140 characters can provide. It is modeled for us by corporate news media via 5 minute "round table discussions" that consist almost entirely of people attempting to shout their position louder than the person in the video box near them. But what Dark does here is level the ground on which we all stand. This isn't an attempt to find a high place to display and defend one's particular brand of flag. This isn't a book that provides fresh ammunition with which one could re-enter the fray and kick ass and take names. And, this isn't a thinly veiled attempt for a Christian to proselytize non-believers. What this book did for me is level the ground on which we all stand so we can actually enter into meaningful conversations and hopefully mutually fulfilling relationships with people with whom I have honest differences. This is a invitation for each of us to open our eyes to how our own guiding stories have formed us. And then in so doing, we begin to recognize the guiding stories of others. It was an opportunity to reflect on my "attention collection"...those things that occupy my actual time and check book and calendar. How do they form me? How do they form my opinion of the other? I'll stop. Read the book. Share it with a friend who is on the other side whatever line that might divide you. And then go have a beer or two and talk about it. Actually talk. "Life's Too Short to Pretend You're Not Religious" is a book that deserves a wide reading.
Profile Image for Richard Fitzgerald.
601 reviews8 followers
February 21, 2017
I Think It Was Good

I think this was a good book but I can't be sure. There were so many references to popular culture in this book that one of the main things I learned is how disconnected from popular culture I am. There were important thoughts. But, those important thoughts were often lost on me as I was just wishing the author would get on with telling me what he wanted to tell me instead of talking about some television show or movie or book he had read at some point in his life. So I think it was a good book but probably for a person other than me.
Profile Image for Kip.
90 reviews3 followers
July 27, 2017
I really wanted to like this book more. I understood and agreed with the premise, but in some parts of the book I struggled to understand how those sections related to the premise. The author's sentences seem unnecessarily complex at times. I'm sure part of the problem is me; on the other hand, I have read other reviews that reflect my views.
Profile Image for Patrick Ryan.
10 reviews1 follower
February 15, 2016
I just finished reading this book. David Dark is my favorite theologian. He's a vividly awake Christian. Each one of his books an alarm clock, this one the loudest.

"We're never not worshipping." That's this book unfairly summarized in 4 words.

5 big stars.
Profile Image for James Wheeler.
201 reviews18 followers
April 2, 2021
“Ideology is how you have to think in order to feel morally good about yourself, given what you actually do.” William Pietz

"What if our lifelong commitment to discerning and performing what's considered to be socially acceptable is precisely where we are stalled in our development..." 62

Author David Dark appreciates Pietz’s definition of ideology. The social sin that Dark wants to uncover in this book, it is that we all, to some degree, concede to an ideology. This is not a negative indictment per se, it is just an encouragement by the author, to take a good, long look at our own lives and see how we might be blindly or even overtly serving an ideology that has some morally or ethically suspect elements. The goal? To ask ourselves, is this what I really want? To be unconscious of why I am doing, what I am doing? Secondarily, he is also concerned that we can be self-deceived into believing that we are moral or righteous simply by going along (conforming) with some sort of religious group.

Dark is not encouraging harsh self criticism, rather he wants folks to follow Socrates dictum (the unexamined life is not worth living) to see what is happening and whether we can make better, more liberating and healing choices for the common good. This is all a bit subjective, because the good is what WE consider good. But Dark, despite the ominous tone of his last name, is actually an optimist about humans. He believes there is good and helpful virtue in all of us, if only we would listen to each other and and attend to our own “better angels.” Unfortunately for many, their imagination or what they think is possible, has been coopted by capitalism, fundamentalism and short sighted thinking.

Given the book’s title he believes that the popular notion of being “not religious” is an not helpful. He is not stating this in a reactive ‘you need to believe in the judeo-christian God evangelical theology’ rather, he believes that by committing to this position one is unwittingly cutting oneself off from valuable self knowledge. The fact is, we can say we are not religious, but what does this actually mean? Does it mean that we are not influenced by culture? Books, movies and music can be deeply meaningful cultural artifacts that are explored, re-visited, and discussed over a few drinks. This may not be an organized religion, however, these are acts of religious significance. Other forces are shaping the world too: capitalism, consumerism, militarism etc.

He is arguing for more self awareness and a raising of the consciousness. Would we like to be more selective with what kinds of sources that are shaping us? Or simply acquiesce too whatever drivel and mass culture is shoveling into our face?

Later on he states (123) “What we weave and, more disturbingly, what we find woven around us in binding images, ideas and stories about the way the world works is ultimately decisive in the way we conduct ourselves…when our imagination is transformed, culture follows, and when it has hardened past the point of yielding insight, we the people perish.”

Then: “everyone is situated, alive and interpreting; everyone is in, among and in interaction with the visions and artifacts of others…how we address the fact is the perpetual question of what we do with our own self-understanding, our own voices, our own vocations.” 124

Time to wake up your best existentialist self.

Quotes:
“And what an essential burden to make sure you’re still taking on this business of being awake to yourself—to be a witness to your own experience, to listen to your own life, to see what you’ve seen. Art is how we become aware of ourselves, and its for everyone.” 45

"Figuring out what you have to do and say and believe--or pretend to believe--to get by can wear a body out." 63

“Will it turn out that you belonged mostly uncritically and unthinkingly to a particular culture context? Did you wrestle with it, or was your life one of automatic obedience, a series of unfortunate events in which your carefully ascertained what values you were expected to appear to have from one moment to the next…” 158
Profile Image for Patty.
2,688 reviews118 followers
August 23, 2021
“You never hear people put it this way, and I don’t intend to start a trend, but when we consider the ever-evolving process of a person’s thinking, the way a person imagines and organizes the world, it could almost seem appropriate to ask each other from time to time, How’s your religion coming along? How’s it going? Born again, or the same old, same old? Did you successfully distinguish darkness from light in the course of your day? Is there a fever in your mind that won’t go away? Mind if I prescribe a poem?”

“Witness calls for
withness, the complete opposite of detached observation... To receive the witness of another is to enter into a vision that isn't accessible to us in isolation; we realize ourselves as members of one another and feel compelled to act accordingly, finding that we can't easily live with ourselves if we don't.”

“As I see the bad religion situation, the answer isn't a matter of stepping out and starting new traditions so much as it's a matter of approaching the currents we're already in from a different angle, one person, one relationship at a time. And even putting it this way brings to mind the poet-pastor Eugene Peterson, who once observed that the besetting sin of the American people is probably impatience. This sounds so right to me, especially when I consider the possibility that there's hardly a sin I can think of that isn't somehow born of misperceived need, of haste and its accompanying inattentiveness, of some feverish variation once more of
Hurry up and matter! Being true - ringing true - will have to involve a slow work of recognition and resistance to that mad and nervy, deluding spirit. To begin to be true is to try to choose - or risk choosing - presence over progress, really showing up and taking the time to wonder what we're really up to, what we're doing and why.”

“I'm never not worshiping. I'm never not confessing my faith in one way or another. And, if I may be permitted a return to the plural, understanding ourselves to be just as religious as any and everyone else might afford us time, space and vision with which to see ourselves more clearly and honestly, the better to grasp or begin to grasp - it's a life's work after all - the deepest implications of what we're doing to ourselves and others.”


I really liked Dark’s earlier work, The Sacredness of Questioning Everything. My faith allows for, actually encourages folks, to question and even doubt their beliefs. I don’t want to just accept what is preached, but to think through how what is said works with how I see Jesus and Christianity.

I gave away my copy of “questioning everything” and I basically forgot about Dark. Then, recently his name was mentioned in something I read. And so, I pick up this volume of his work. It took me awhile to figure out where he is headed. For me, these words are reminding me that we all worship something. We all have a religion. It is not right to put down others because we don’t like their religion. We need to see how what they believe works with the world. We need to consider our own beliefs.

Between this book and the book about listening, I have had a month of considering others and their beliefs. I appreciate how this book and Murphy’s work, You’re Not Listening played against each other in my brain. I needed to read them both. Murphy and Dark made me look at other people with more compassion. I can’t wait to see what books help me learn more in September.
Profile Image for Susan.
396 reviews10 followers
November 28, 2021
Dark intertwines the concept of religion with the fact of human relationship. Religion, he argues, is the way we interact with one another, learning from others and opening ourselves by means of sharing the things that have made us who we are. Rather than shying away from calling ourselves religious, Dark asserts that everyone is religious - if by religious we mean that we act upon the things that matter to us and acknowledge the interconnected relationships that shape us.

My biggest takeaway: Dark’s concept of an attention collection. If the things we give our attention to are the things that shape us, then an attention collection is comprised of those things we have drawn meaning from - the things that have influenced the way we think and act. Our attention collections may be intentional, but they may also be built without our awareness. If we do not intentionally choose where we direct our attention, then it will be chosen for us - by marketers, entertainers, and other external factors. Dark believes that we are shaped by a wide variety of inputs, from the movies and shows we watch and the music we listen to, to the people we interact with and the books and sacred texts we read. The problem is that too often what we actually believe - as evidenced by our actions - is not what we say (or even think) we believe. Our attention collections are the basis for how relationship plays out as religious activity.

Dark weaves his own religious beliefs deftly into the text in beautiful and breathtaking ways. But while so much of what he says is true and applicable, he writes for a broader audience than those who believe as he does. Everyone, says Dark, can and should live in light of religion as relationship - not just those who practice a specific religion.

As a Christian, I want my religion to infuse my daily living. Dark has painted a beautiful path forward, which Christ-followers - of all people - should take seriously. After all, pure religion is to care for widows and orphans. Far from being a works-based assertion, this is simply our attention collection - our belief in Christ that has shaped us - in action.
Profile Image for Ethan Beyer.
17 reviews3 followers
January 7, 2018
This book is fantastic, and poignant. Hard to believe it was written before Public Servant 45, but there you go.

It’s a challenging read, both in its style and in its substance. In terms of substance, there were many times when I put the book down to chew on what I’d just read, or sent a quote to a friend and we mulled over it together.

When I say it’s a challenging read in terms of style, I don’t mean that as a detractor. You just really have to focus, because Dark doesn’t write like Hemingway. The sentences aren’t short or devoid of sub-plots. The book itself is an immense undertaking, and it wasn’t until nearing the end that I was beginning to see all of these disparate threads coming together into a single thesis, or chord.

It’s a book of philosophy. It’s positing that we would all be a lot better off, and better to each other, if we would drop pretense, love deeply the things we love while seeing their threads to the Real, share those things, listen to other’s loves, live in deep community, stop labeling other people, let people into our lives, and partake deeply in the Communion of Christ through all of the acts above.

There are political ramifications as well, exploring how the countries we live in and the laws we allow ourselves to be governed by happen as a result of deep religious belief in our governments. It really is richly poignant, and deals with partisanship, racism, wealth distribution, and the route one takes on a walk through their neighborhood.

I’m going to need to read it again, and again. It’s full of many truth nuggets, and I loved it.
Profile Image for Josh.
1,001 reviews20 followers
April 19, 2019
In this tremendously valuable book, David Dark lays out a simple yet seismic paradigm shift: Religion is the natural overflow of the values you internalize-- the things to which you pledge allegiance; the objects of your worship-- into everyday actions and choices (liturgies?). One implication: Everyone has a religion, and nobody is any more or less religious than anyone else. It's a helpful way to understand how "religion," far from being that which divides, can actually be useful for helping us understand ourselves, our neighbors, and our connectedness to the world we share. There's a lot to chew on here, and Dark's prose is typically rich in allusions, flights of fancy, and illuminating quotations. At times, I almost feel like he's dancing over important points when something more clear and concrete would be beneficial, and I'd love to read a follow-up book that delved more into the contents, rather than just the framework, of religion. (There is astonishingly little about God here, for instance, and only one or two short but fascinating segments about the Holy Bible.) As something to get you asking new questions and pursuing fresh avenues of thought, though, this is exemplary. Get it and read it-- with discernment, of course.
Profile Image for Jason Matkowski.
1 review
November 10, 2018
Yes, I should be ashamed for admitting I'm reading such a book, but it caught my attention , I picked it up, and despite the language in the first few chapters, this is really a great book with some great points and lessons about what is important in life. I'm really not ashamed, and don't care if others "shame" me, because I know what I believe and shame is a dangerous tactic that holds people down and makes them feel little and worthless...so s It's always good to step outside your preconceived ideals and reach for something different. It's always good to eat and enjoy the meat while you spit out the bones. It's a great book, funny, deep, philosophical, spiritual, and filled with a plethora of amazing points on how to live a full life while not focusing on and letting the world and it's little annoyances control how how you life. Ignore the title, you may be sweetly surprised at what Mark Manson has to teach you in this little book that counterintuitively leads us on a adventure of what really matters in life and what doesn't though we spend a lot of time thinking it does.
Profile Image for Peter.
Author 1 book3 followers
December 25, 2020
In a world where "spiritual but not religious" is all the rage and in many ways contradicts itself, this book comes as a welcome relief.

If one defines all religion as "bad works self-righteousness" than yes, who wants to be religious? But if religion is, as Dark argues, "how we organize ourselves and our resources", "a controlling story" --the way we train our attention and make our lives a liturgy of something--then everyone has to come clean and admit they have a religious bent.

"Religion happens," writes Dark. "Religion happens when we get pulled in, moved, called out or compelled by something outside ourselves... The calls to worship are everywhere."

When you hear pastors pit relationship against religion, watch out. Religion is relationship for Dark, to see relationality in the world around you. To see systems, systems of belief, stories passed down.

Religion, like relationship, can be good and bad. This book might help you realize your religion, and evaluate just how good the relationships are that hold it together, and bind it to you.

Profile Image for Zachary.
720 reviews10 followers
November 27, 2021
This is an odd volume, jam-packed with beauty. Dark's argument is right there in his title, but never once in this book does he attack his thesis in any kind of straightforward manner. Instead he prefers to show us bits and pieces of his "attention collection" to advocate for how we can all better love our "chother," challenging us to see ourselves and our lives as intricately and intimately interconnected to those around us, highlighting the mundane and highly sacred elements of our lives as showcasing how religion and religious behavior form the core of who we are. With a highly eccentric cast of characters and examples, Dark shows that religion is never confined to one area of life, a recognition with profound consequences for how we then live and treat others. Without being preachy or forceful or anything close to that, Dark invites us to consider ourselves and our behaviors and attentions anew, to see them for the liturgical behaviors that they actually are and to act accordingly.
10 reviews1 follower
October 23, 2017
Life’s Too Short to Pretend You’re Not Religious was a wonderful read. There aren’t many books with the word “religious” in the title that I would recommend to everyone no matter their religious affiliation, but this one I certainly do.

Dark implores us to embrace religion as relationship. He states the seemingly obvious, that we all come from somewhere and we devote ourselves to something. His call to admit our own religiosity is not a call to show up for a sermon every Sunday, but to more fully realize that, whether we like it or not, we’re negatively and positively influenced by the way we were raised and by the stream of unfiltered words and images that surround us every day. He invites us “to be more present to [our] own [lives], to access and examine more deeply what [we’re] up to.”

Instead of seeing of this as a book about traditional concepts of religion, I see it is a calming and refreshing advocation of approaching relationships with intention.



Profile Image for haileyੈ✩‧₊˚.
249 reviews4 followers
July 4, 2023
ੈ ✩‧₊˚ life’s too short to pretend you’re not religious ੈ✩‧₊˚ david dark ੈ✩‧₊˚
4★ ੈ✩‧₊
what class it was for: ethics & world religions

writing style: 4★
content: 4★
structure: 4★
impact/relevance: 4★
clarity: 4★
enjoyment: 4★

overall review:
‧₊˚as someone not “traditional” religious i found this to be a super interesting read and i’ve definitely learned things from reading this. im so grateful to have taken dr dark’s ethics & world religions class- definitely a valuable experience. going into this book i was skeptical about being bombarded with religious propaganda but that is so far from what this book is. its more about a way of life and decided what you find valuable- which is your religion in a way. one of my favorite quotes from this book is: “Religion is perhaps most helpfully conceived of as the question of what tales and traditions our lives embody.”
2 reviews
July 25, 2020
Might be more like... 4 1/2 stars. A bit tough to slog through, at least for someone like me who does not read nearly enough. A bit repetitive—though sometimes I suspect in the name of thoroughness. But worth it; the last few chapters especially.
I’ve followed Dr. Dark for a while on social media and, while this is the first work of his I’ve actually read, it’s an expansion upon a familiar refrain—one he seems to “allude to” in nearly everything he communicates.
Dark—the king of nuance—draws from science fiction, musicians, poets, activists, etc. to get to the point of religion as relationship, word, deed, art, politics... well, it’s all connected anyway.

“If religion names the ordering of our priorities, what miracles might come when we begin to pay attention to ourselves?”
Profile Image for Keisha Adams.
376 reviews
November 30, 2023
Overly wordy connect the dots between the 3 random quotes per page. So busy copying words of greater thinkers from Tibetan monks to Scooby doo that I struggle to find his own opinion on anything.

Barely focuses on the title subject, but when it does it makes weak assertions like “religious people worship Jesus and not religious people worship a favourite singer, so they are all religious. Most of the book (aside from quotes. I can’t overstate the number of pointless quotes) is a general prescription for how we should view life and love one another. Nice I guess. But not why I read it.

Also convenient that all things done in the name of religion that is hurts people is ‘bad religion’ and all things with a nice result, religiously motivated or not, are ‘good religion’
Profile Image for Lacy.
54 reviews
August 30, 2017
The book is as wordy as the title indicates, but I rate it four stars because it's a conceptual win for the post-Christian-culture believer. Dark broadens the definition of religion to include relatedness and introduces ideas like choosing your ancestors and embodying liturgy that allow you to look at your world and daily rituals in a new way. A very good read for the "spiritual, but not religious"!
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