Foreskin's Lament: A Memoir

by Shalom Auslander

FROM THE CREATOR OF SHOWTIME'S "HAPPYISH"

A New York Times Notable Book, and a “chaotic, laugh riot” (San Francisco Chronicle) of a memoir.

Shalom Auslander was raised with a terrified respect for God. Even as he grew up and was estranged from his community, his religion and its traditions, he could not find the path to a life where he didn’t struggle daily with the fear of God’s formidable wrath. Foreskin’s Lament reveals Auslander’s “painfully, cripplingly, incurably, miserably religious” youth in a strict, socially isolated Orthodox Jewish community, and recounts his rebellion and efforts to make a new life apart from it. His combination of unrelenting humor and anger renders a rich and fascinating portrait of a man grappling with his faith and family.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Jewish, Religion, Humor, Biography, Judaism

320 pages, Paperback

First published October 4, 2007

About the author

Shalom Auslander is an American author and essayist. He grew up in an Orthodox Jewish neighborhood in Monsey, New York where he describes himself as having been "raised like a veal".[1][2] His writing style is notable for its Jewish perspective and determinedly negative outlook.

Auslander has published a collection of short stories, Beware of God and a memoir, Foreskin's Lament: A Memoir. His work, often confronting his Orthodox Jewish background, has been featured on Public Radio International's This American Life and in The New Yorker. In January 2012, Auslander published his first novel, Hope: A Tragedy.

Reviews

[Benbo · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would have given this book five stars, but God may have frowned upon that and punished me for it by sicking a virus on my computer. That would be so God.

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Philip Roth and Augusten Burroughs had a baby. As one might expect, it's in no mood. The only real surprise is that they would name it "Shalom."

[Edy · Rating 5 out of 5]

(from page 71) "I wonder sometimes if he-- and I-- suffer from a metaphysical form of Stockholm syndrome. Held captive by this Man for thousands of years, we now praise Him, defend Him, excuse Him, sometimes kill for Him, an army of Squeaky Frommes swearing allegiance to their Charlie in the sky. My relationship with God has been an endless cycle not of the celebrated 'faith followed by doubt,' but of appeasement followed by revolt; placation followed by indifference; please, please, please, followed by fuck it, fuck You, fuck off. I do not keep Sabbath or pray three times a day or wait six hours between meat and milk. The people who raised me will say that I am not religious. They are mistaken. What I am not is OBSERVANT. But I am painfully, cripplingly, incurably, miserably religious, and I have watched lately, dumbfounded and distraught, as around the world, more and more people seem to be finding Gods, each one more hateful and bloodthirsty than the next, as I'm doing my best to lose Him. I'm failing miserably.... I believe in God.... It's been a real problem for me."

(And then page 309) "So God, I beg you, please don't kill my wife because of this book. Don't kill my son and don't kill my dogs. If you absolutely must kill somebody, kill Geoff Kloske at Riverhead Books. Kill Ira Glass at This American Life, and while you're there, kill Julie Snyder and Sarah Koenig, too. Kill David Remnick at The New Yorker, and kill Carin Besser, who's just down the hall. Kill Sara Ivry at Nextbook.org, and you might as well kill Jessa Crispin at Bookslut.com. Kill Craig Markus for helping with the cover art, and kill Ike Herschkopf if you really have to, but don't kill me. And don't kill Orli. And don't kill our son. It's just a fucking book.
Sorry."

[K · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's challenging to give a rating to this book, so I'll just stick with a nice neutral three. As an Orthodox Jew, it's hard to keep my own feelings out of it, feelings which fell all over the map. So I guess three is a fair rating, since love-hate is probably the best description of my reading experience.

I loved the writing. Some of the lines were laugh-out-loud funny ("Geographically speaking, Israel has only two seasons: Holy Crap It's Hot, and Holy Crap It's Cold."), and I loved a style he used which might almost be called poetic at times. And I should be ashamed to admit this I guess, but there are times when my relationship with God is not all that different from Shalom's. Sure, I'm a heck of a lot more committed to observing the commandments than he is, but I do find myself railing at God in low moments and wondering when He plans to drop the other shoe on me. Shalom gave voice to this in a way no author I've read has.

Here's what I didn't love and sometimes hated. Although I sympathized with Shalom's horrific family dysfunction and tried not to judge him, there were times when the self-pity and one-dimensional perspective got on my nerves. And although this may sound trivial, I didn't get the Slim Jims appeal. As I nibbled my anticlimactic kosher food while reading this I thought, do I wish I were eating a Slim Jim? The answer was, no, not particularly. Okay, clearly Shalom's rebellion went much deeper and the non-kosher food was merely symbolic, but I think he failed at getting me to see that. There was a line which I can't quote verbatim but came across to me as, why can't my family love me even though I love non-kosher food? To anyone who grew up Orthodox, this is a highly simplistic and facile understanding of what's going on here. I know it has to be more complicated than that, Shalom's parents could surely tell you it's more complicated than that, and I suspect even Shalom himself knows it. But you wouldn't know it from reading the book.

And that's where the book disappointed me, because he took a great topic with a lot of potential and ended up reducing it to the repeated theme of God as the angry, vengeful father who will damn you if you do and damn you if you don't. It was a good theme, and he did it well, but the book could have been so much better had he depicted his family and his life and his rebellion in a more nuanced manner and not simply resorted to repeating his chorus.

It's a good try, Shalom, and you're a good writer. I hope your next book will be better. And I hope NCSY ropes in your kid. That would be so God.

[debra · Rating 5 out of 5]

4-5*s I listened to this years ago, but I still remember some of the funniest lines/observations today. Many people would call this kind of "funny" offensive, but I found it very amusing soooo funny(sorry, I am that sick). Still smiling- even now.

[Matthew · Rating 4 out of 5]

I believe in God. It's been a real problem for me.

Alas, Shalom Auslander's problems with God aren't so easily shrugged off. His problems with God are all-encompassing, paralyzing, potentially life-threatening. They've followed him from birth, through adolescence, and now into adulthood, to the birth of his first child. They've followed him despite his attempts to break free of his Orthodox upbringing. They've followed him despite his attempts to embrace of his Orthodox upbringing. God, it seems, just won't leave him alone.

His memoir, Foreskin's Lament, is relentless in its portrayal of this vengeful, Old Testament God. Shalom, who was taught from an early age that not only was God responsible for wars, genocide, and random acts of Biblical bullying, but also omni-present - here, there, and everywhere! - still struggles with Him in his seemingly happy adult life. He is married. He has cut himself off from his family. God has allowed him some normalcy (finally), but Shalom knows it won't last. His wife's pregnancy, he believes, is a harbinger of God's delayed vengence. He thinks: the baby will die, or his wife will die in childbirth, or they'll both die, or they'll both live and on the way home, they'll die in a head-on collision with a drunk driver. "That would be so God," he writes.

Yes, it's cynical. Yes, it's neurotic. But it's also very funny, illuminating in its descriptions of the Orthodox community, and surprisingly moving. The sections about his confused adolescence are particularly powerful. It would be a shame to classify Foreskin's Lament as simply a "Jewish book." It should appeal to anyone who has a family, anyone who grew up, anyone who just wants to be left alone to live their life, anyone who has wondered, "Why me?" and "Oh shit, what next?"

Check out the book trailer here: http://shalomauslander.com/video_fore...

"When I was a child, my parents and teachers told me about a man who was very strong...But when we didn't obey what he had commanded, he didn't like us. He hated us. Some days he hated us so much, he killed us; other days, he let other people kill us. We call these days 'holidays.'"

[Marika_reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5

To było świetne! Ale nie ma się co dziwić skoro Auslander porównywany jest do jednego z moich ulubionych pisarzy, Philipa Rotha, a konkretniej do jego bardziej ironicznych książek jak „Kompleks Portnoya”. Podobnie jak Roth rozlicza się ze swoją religią i wychowaniem w amerykańskiej ortodoksyjnej żydowskiej rodzinie. Robi to głównie na śmieszno, ale nie brakuje też poważniejszych fragmentów, jak wspomnienie przemocowego ojca czy całkowite odcięcie się od rodziny.
Ale skupmy się na religii bo to główne clou tej książki. Narrator i alter ego autora nie za bardzo lubi się z Bogiem. Wyklina go, przeklina, nazywa ch***, ciągle z nim lub o nim gada w myślach. Jednocześnie mocno się go boi i co rusz kalkuluje czy aby Bóg za dane przewinienie, nie zabije kogoś mu bliskiego lub zrobi coś równie okrutnego. A trochę grzeszków ma na sumieniu. Nałogowy kłamca, złodziej książek, ciągle myślący o seksie, naruszający prawa szabatu, jedzący niekoszernie i można tak dalej wymieniać. A swoją historie opowiada tak, że co chwile parskałam śmiechem. Jest cyniczny, sarkastyczny, groteskowy, obrazoburczy. Trzeba więc podchodzić do niego z dystansem, nie na serio, nie dosłownie. To trudne poczucie humoru, czasami kontrowersyjne więc wiem, że wiele osób się oburzy. Mi na szczęście było od tego daleko.
I na koniec, jak to jest napisane, jak to sie płynnie, rytmicznie czyta. Porównałam go już do Rotha, ale samym flow opowiadania przypominał mi Geralda Durrella, tylko takiego dla dorosłych. Czytajcie!
„Pan od filozofii mówił o jakims facecie, który twierdził, że Bóg umarł. No, byłoby miło, lecz złego diabli nie biora: Bóg był żywy i był chu*em. Zwiać Bogu może nie zwieję - bo wyjść z ziemi obiecanej byłoby może jeszcze niebezpieczniej, niż do niej wejść, ale pomślałem sobie, że zepsuję Mu zabawę pełną uległością, pokorną zgodą na wszystko, cokolwiek On na mnie ześle”.

[Bonnie G. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everything I will say about this book has been said. It is brilliant, hilarious, and oh so bitter. I cannot imagine anyone who has had the misfortune to dwell in the land of fundamentalist cults, regardless of their specific source material, will not either unreservedly love or hate this book. As for me, I was raised in a secular Jewish home but against all my early teachings, like Shalom Auslander, I believe in God, and like Shalom Auslander, its a problem for me. And I loved every moment of this read.

By happenstance I read this while the overall rate of Covid was going down in NYC but going up in my neighborhood and a few others with large Orthodox populations because many of the Orthodox Jews refuse to wear masks (a Lubavitch group held a mask burning last week, which is ironic given the Nazi imagery.) This disregard for human life, this arrogance, this threat makes me angry, and for the first time in my life ashamed to be identified as a Jew. So it was auspicious timing my reading this book now, and it provided the necessary outlet of hours of bitter cackling for me.

Despite hundreds of great lines, my favorite (mentioned in my progress comments) is still: "There are roughly 50 million sperms in every ejaculate; that's about nine Holocausts in every wank. I was just hitting puberty when they told me this. or puberty was just hitting me, and I was committing genocide, on average, there or four times a day."

[Sandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

IO CREDO IN DIO. E' UN VERO PROBLEMA, PER ME

Dio è qui,
Dio è lì,
Dio è ovunque
In ogni dì.
Il tema, trasfuso fin dall’asilo nelle menti dei bambini ebraici con una filastrocca che sembra un innocuo giochino, è ossessivamente ripetuto nel corso del libro, dalla prima all’ultima pagina.
Auslander ha un rapporto personalissimo con Dio, presenza opprimente, incazzosa e vendicativa, che condiziona la sua vita in modo devastante.
Nel libro racconta, con un umorismo poco politically correct, tutti i tentativi che ha fatto per scrollarselo di dosso. Senza riuscirvi.
“Io credo in Dio. E’ un vero problema, per me”.
E’ consapevole che anche lui, come Mosè, non riuscirà mai a raggiungere la sua Terra Promessa, lo scopo perseguito nei suoi trenta anni di vita, cioè vivere senza quel dio "stronzo" che fin da bambino incombe nella sua vita.
Così come non si emanciperà dalla sua famiglia di origine, da un padre che beve e da una madre, figlia e sorella di rabbini, che tiene giochetti erotici nascosti sotto il letto, famiglia devastata dalla morte prematura del loro figlio maggiore.
La lettura, nonostante i temi impegnati e le riflessioni che ne sorgono, è piacevolissima per l'ironia e lo humour presenti.
L’umorismo di Auslander ha tratti in comune con il tragico umorismo di Roth, del quale viene definito “un nipote arrabbiato”, (non a caso, credo, il titolo del libro ricorda “il lamento di Portnoy”) ma soprattutto con quello del comico ebraico per antonomasia, Woody Allen, che all’inizio della sua carriera prese in giro proprio l’ortodossia ebraica.
Ad una persona come la sottoscritta, che non conosce nulla della religione ebraica e può dirsi agnostica, la lettura di questo libro ha provocato un violento moto di ribellione verso le regole religiose asfissianti che impastoiano ogni aspetto della vita dell’ebreo ortodosso, ed in generale una riflessione sulla ortodossia religiosa, qualsiasi sia la religione, e le disastrose conseguenze che può produrre nella vita delle persone.
Il libro mi è piaciuto, ne consiglio la lettura.

[Aleksandra Gratka · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mam chyba kolejnego kandydata na ulubionego autora.

[marta · Rating 4 out of 5]

bardzo dobry memuar, troche slodko-gorzki (temat ciezki, ale przy tym przedstawiony w zabawny sposob, i to tak rzeczywiscie zabawny). plus za poslowie, ktore tym bardziej ukazuje, jak szczegolowo cala ksiazka zostala przemyslana przez autora !!!!

[Becki · Rating 1 out of 5]

I like Shalom Auslander's segments on "This American Life" -- he's always very funny. I was sort of hoping for more of the same lightly self-deprecating humor that he does so well. Turns out it's actually much closer to self-loathing, and it's not particularly funny.

The book's "God sucks, God hates me" refrain also gets old pretty quickly. I'm not particularly religious, so my objection isn't to that at all. It's just because Auslander comes off sounding like a petulant child with no personal growth throughout the entire book, so it becomes very, very tedious. Something bad happened? It's God's fault! Repeat ad nauseam. Okay, we get the idea.

If I'd had a similar religious upbringing I might have been able to relate to the book a little more, but it wouldn't have made much of a difference. It wouldn't fix the self-loathing, the repetition, the lack of funny.

[Noce · Rating 4 out of 5]

Una volta credevo in Dio. Poi ho scoperto Auslander

E ho capito che il mio dialogo con Dio è assolutamente irrilevante. E anche il vostro lo è, se avete pensato almeno una volta nella vita che il detto “Piove sempre sul bagnato”, sia solo un modo gentile per dire che se Dio è là, e vi ha fatto oggetto di sì tanto accanimento è veramente uno stronzo.

Ma Auslander è molto più preparato. Perché lui con Dio ci parla ogni giorno, e progetta la sua vita a venire in base alle eventuali vendette di un Dio scontento. Mica un cretinata vivere con questa spada di Damocle sulla testa. I salti mortali di Shalom per cercare di aggirare i trabocchetti del Dio capriccioso mi hanno divertito tantissimo. E ho tifato con tutto il cuore che ce la facesse. Impossibile non partecipare al dubbio Abramitico di fregarsene o affrancarsi dalla schiavitù dell’occhio che tutto vede e tutto sa.

Eppure, una volta percorse insieme ad Auslander le sue battaglie contro un nemico invisibile, il problema di fondo rimane. E così alla fine di una lettura divertente, mi è pure toccato pensarci su. E sono arrivata alla conclusione che il problema sta a monte. Che è una questione di sistema.

Da che mondo è mondo uno dei più antichi bisogni umani, è quello di avere qualcuno che si chieda dove sei quando la sera fai inspiegabilmente tardi. Non importa che sia la nostra dolce metà, o genitori iperansiolitici che hanno già pronta una lavata di capo epocale. La nostra necessità primaria è quella di avere qualcuno a cui render conto delle nostre azioni. E anche se all’azione segue sempre una reazione, che non sempre è così confortante come vorremmo, siamo sicuri di poter vivere senza?

E allora non è che Auslander tra esilaranti gag e scampate vendette, volesse semplicemente dire che Dio, senza la veste dittatoriale di supervisore, acquista le sembianze di un Punto di Riferimento? Nudo e un po’ vetusto magari, ma pur sempre un appoggio.

[Lena · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a fascinating and darkly funny account of one man’s attempts to live under the vengeful God he inherited as a part of his orthodox Jewish upbringing.

Shalom Auslander learned early on that the God who was watching over him was one he describes as “eternally pissed off.” As a child, he developed such fear of this vengeful Old Testament character he still spends much of his time imagining the various ways God might murder his family in punishment for his own numerous sins.

Despite the very heavy nature of this topic, Auslander’s whip-smart dark humor had me laughing out loud throughout much of the book. It takes no small amount of skill to bring true humor and insight into the darkest corners of a history that includes the particular twists that alcoholism and abuse can take in a religious family and the narrator’s doomed attempt to control the natural forces of puberty that put him on a fatal collision course with sin.

The extreme rawness of much of this account is not always easy to read, and though Auslander has managed to free himself from some of the shackles of his past, it’s clear at the end that his fear of God remains intact. As he says himself: “I believe in God. It’s been a real problem for me.”

[Alicia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Man, I feel like I was waiting for this book forever! Auslander, author of Beware of God and frequent contributor to This American Life (note to my dad: you heard him do one of his pieces--I think the one about how he wasn't allowed to throw away anything with his name on it, b/c Shalom is one of God's names, or maybe it was the one about how he watched over the dead for a part-time job), has written a caustic and funny memoir about growing up religious, and how all his conflicts came to a head when his son was born and they had to decide whether or not to circumcise him. I'm not sure this story will resonate with non-Jews (or with Jews who didn't have a bunch of frum friends and went through a brief BT period), but I do think his struggles with the concept of God are perhaps universal. If nothing else, it's an entertaining look at teen rebellion in a seriously outlandish environment. A.

[david · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dear G-d,

It's me, Margaret's brother.

I would like us to negotiate.

Btw, thanks for creating me, but this life is not all that it is cracked up to be.

No offense, of course.

I would like to petition, on behalf of the male society you have created, to lend us a voice at birth so we can argue the merits of circumcision with the Moil (we call him Axeman in the hood) at the time of the event.

And once we reach a settlement, no problem returning us to mute or echolalia or infant noises.

I'm glad I got that off my chest.

Thank you.

[Montse Gallardo · Rating 3 out of 5]

El autor, criado en una comunidad judía ortodoxa (en USA) narra sus crisis de fe desde la infancia y su constante temor a ser castigado por Yahvé. Castigos que pueden ir desde una enfermedad incapacitante (pero no mortal) hasta un nuevo Holocausto. Y sus constantes arreglos con Dios para que no castigue a su familia

Dicho así el libro puede parecer divertidísimo (de hecho, lo es; hay momentos en los que me reí a carcajadas, cosa que no es habitual en mi), pero también se percibe el dolor (y la liberación) que supuso alejarse de sus raíces para poder tener una vida más o menos feliz.

Hay también una gran tristeza por esa incomprensión de un niño -luego adolescente, joven y, por último adulto- de ese peso que tienen la fe, las creencias, la religión en su familia y en sus relaciones; en esa losa que tienen permanentemente encima de sus cabezas, y que puede aplastarles inmisericordemente ante cualquier fallo; asistimos a la lucha por aceptar que para su familia es más importante como Dios manda (en sentido estricto) que el amor que puedan sentir por su hijo, o que la búsqueda de felicidad.

A través de diversas anécdotas -la adolescencia es algo repetitiva, pero su viaje a Israel es entre desternillante y emotivo- vamos asistiendo a cómo Shalom se va alejando cada vez más de esa forma de ser judío tan rígida, punitiva e inflexible, para poder desarrollarse como ser humano pleno y autónomo. ¿Y eso le trae felicidad? No del todo, pero qué persona adulta con criterio para reflexionar sobre su vida es totalmente feliz...

Una lectura recomendable para conocer algunas costumbres judías, para reírse y -también- para reflexionar sobre el peso de la familia y la búsqueda de la propia identidad

[Derek Driggs · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love this; the author manages to be hilarious and extremely empathetic all at once.

I just wanted a little more detail on the ins and outs of life as an ultra-orthodox Jew—this is on the shorter side and didn’t prioritize detail. But totally worth it.

[Mateusz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Język tej książki jest dosyć wulgarny, co na początku bardzo mnie raziło (tym bardziej, że kupiłem mamie egzemplarz pod choinkę XD). Z czasem zdałem sobie jednak sprawę, że to dobra historia o wyrywaniu się z opresji religii - chociaż nieźle okraszona czarnym humorem. Posłowie tłumacza zwróciło moją uwagę na wiele elementów, które autor wnikliwie przemyślał.
3.5/5

[Marina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Recensione originale: https://sonnenbarke.wordpress.com/201...

Shalom Auslander è un giornalista e scrittore americano, cresciuto a Monsey, New York, in una famiglia ebrea ortodossa. In questo libro, che non è un romanzo ma un testo autobiografico (ma si legge come un romanzo), parla del suo rapporto con il Dio terribile degli ebrei.

Il problema di Auslander, dice lui stesso, è che in Dio ci crede. Non è cresciuto in una famiglia ortodossa per niente. Non è diventato ateo o scettico. In Dio ci crede veramente. Il problema è che gli è stato insegnato a credere a un Dio terribile, spaventoso, cattivo, un Dio che ha permesso anni di persecuzioni, ha permesso l'Olocausto, ha punito i propri figli in maniera spaventosa.

Perciò, Auslander non può che pensare che Dio ce l'abbia con lui. Deve ricorrere a tutta una serie di stratagemmi per non farsi sorprendere dalla terribile vendetta di Dio: per esempio, quando vuole vedere una partita che si svolge di Shabbat a 20 km da casa sua, è costretto ad andarci a piedi perché di Shabbat non si può guidare né prendere un taxi o un mezzo pubblico. Solo in questo modo, a parer suo, Dio non si arrabbierà con lui e non lo punirà facendo perdere la sua squadra. Ma questo è solo un esempio fra i tanti episodi che vengono raccontati.

Auslander ha avuto un'infanzia difficile, figlio di un padre violento e di una madre rassegnata, cresciuto nella comunità ortodossa, costretto a tutta una serie di rituali e obblighi e divieti che sono il fulcro della fede ebrea ortodossa. Per esempio, tutti i divieti dello Shabbat, oppure l'obbligo di mangiare kosher, che possono sembrare cose non troppo difficili a un occhio esterno, ma l'autore le racconta con tanta dovizia di particolari da farci capire che una rigida osservanza di tali regole e divieti rende la vita impossibile alle persone. In seguito sua moglie Orli gli dirà che è stato "abusato teologicamente".

Auslander vive dunque un'infanzia e un'adolescenza di ribellione e di colpa: riviste pornografiche che poi è costretto a bruciare per non incorrere nell'ira di Dio, cibo treyf (non kosher) che poi è costretto a vomitare o che lo fa piangere, furti, e chi più ne ha più ne metta. Tutto, sempre, condito dall'atroce senso di colpa e dal terrore di incorrere nell'ira funesta del Signore.

Poi Auslander si sposa con Orli, anch'essa proveniente da una famiglia difficile, e insieme cercano di affrancarsi dalle rispettive famiglie, dall'educazione religiosa, da tutto ciò che li ha tenuti soffocati da bambini e da ragazzi. Quando Orli resta incinta, le due grandi domande sono: Dio ucciderà lei e/o il bambino? e sarà necessario circoncidere il bambino per non far arrabbiare Dio?

Le ultime parole del libro sono emblematiche: «E non uccidere Orli. E non uccidere nostro figlio. Dopotutto è solo un libro, cazzo. Scusa.»

Lo consiglio perché fa ridere, lo consiglio perché fa riflettere, perché ci fa conoscere una realtà di cui probabilmente sappiamo ben poco se non siamo ebrei. Però vi avviso che è sboccato, ma forse è anche questo che lo rende bello.

[Jennifer Spiegel]

I finished his MOTHER FOR DINNER novel not so long ago, and picked up this one asap. And I'm trying to get another one soon. Do I love him? I do not. Do I laugh aloud and find his personal story riveting/dark/comical/ugly/sad/heartbreaking? I do.

It's a book about growing up in a strict Orthodox Jewish home, and feeling positively squashed by inexplicable ritualism. I like what he does but it is HIGHLY irreverent, offensive even. However, I'm curious. I'm curious about his fate, where he'll ultimately land religiously. I'm curious about his critique, which is actually insightful. How does one deal? And, yeah, I will seek out his new book.

I don't even know what to say.

I think it's safe to say that Auslander is inescapably haunted by his religious upbringing.

Here are some lines from it:
“I believe in a personal God; everything I do, He takes personally.”

“my mother put me in the box and made it very clear that her love was conditional upon my remaining in the box.”

“This is the term we’ve been using lately: theological abuse. It involves adults, known or unknown to the underage victim, telling them a Lunatic runs the world, that He’s spying on them, that He’s waiting for them to break a rule.”

[Vio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shalom Auslander, always a pleasure! :)

[Io Nuca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Una dintre cele mai bune cărți de memorii pe care le-am citit.

[M · Rating 4 out of 5]

I went through a lot of indecision in the star givings for this one. On the one hand, a lot of it was disturbing and bothersome, and I had to skip some passages out of sheer disgust. On the other hand, it was funny, well written, thought provoking and a rather interesting examination of frumkeit. So bottom line, once I got in the second half of the book, I was a lot more interested and engaged, and I left with an overall appreciation for the book's strength.
As to Auslander himself, so sometimes I got annoyed at him - his attitude toward Gd can be so immature - I didn't get what I want, so why should I bother, ie, I davened and you didn't let my aging and dimentia riddled grandmother live, what good are you, pass me the ham. Then at the same time, I totally get the feeling of the random chaos that this universe seems to run by and how futile and senseless it seems to turn to Gd when He's the one setting this into motion (ok, fine, with a lot of help from mankind, but still, it does seem like, so why are we here, then? Some sick cosmic joke? I mean, sheesh, He has nothing better to do with His time?).
I am super interested in knowing more about his family - while his annecdotes were shocking and disturbing they in many ways only confused me as to his tenuous hold on relations as well as relgion seemed to wax and wane with little clarity as to when, how, and exact gradations, but I guess nothing is so precise. It was fascinating to read about Shalom flipping out in Israel and donning a black hat though not surprisingly there was little discussion on any thought process or feeling, whereas the anti Gd stuff seems endless.
At the end of the day, what do we make of this man - in some ways he is the mouth piece for what many, I'm sure, are too scared to say - at the same time, perhaps these thoughts are best left silent, perhaps he is only encouraging a mentality and behavior that is unhealthy, perhaps there needs to be a love it or lump it attitude with Gd rather than this angry diatribe - I guess I mean I can't tell if he's a hero or pathetic, worthy of sympathy or antipathy - he is cnfused and complicated and so is this whole issue. Does a catharsis of such nature have a place in the world, our world specifically, or is this destructive and therefore meant to be ignored/shunned etc.
Anyway I have to say, sikkum, that the book has some awesome lines that are just hysterical and it certainly got me feeling - anger, sadness, shock, horror, dismay, etc. So can I give it to the two stars I wanted to when he gets into his porn stage? Or worth the four stars I wanted to give it for sheer well written eloquence and heart felt sincere anguish?

[María Greene F · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ingenioso, divertido y, aunque suene exagerado, bastante realista...me sentí identificada con el autor, cuando habla de este Dios irracional y perseguidor, a quien hay que complacer siguiendo códigos de lo más aleatorios. También me sentí identificada con la desolación que significa crecer así, tras una fe tan rígida y dicotómica. Al final, cuando es así, no queda mucho espacio para el amor... aunque no tenga que ver con Dios necesariamente, sino que con las personas que lo distribuyen de tal o cual manera: La religión definitivamente puede matar la bondad natural de cualquier persona, cuando se "enseña" con esa odiosidad. Puede discriminar como nunca lo haría la naturaleza.

Me hizo reír, pero me dio pena también. Sé que esta autobiografía, aunque sea verídica, está escrita como una sátira, pero justamente eso es lo que me entristece... que yo, quien se crió en otra religión (catolicismo), en otra parte del planeta (Chile) haya sido capaz de entenderla PERFECTAMENTE: No soy la única que ha sentido ese miedo y esos vacíos que algunos credos abren antes que cerrar y creo que es lamentable que las personas podamos crecer así y que sea tan común. No me extraña que luego hayan tantos fanáticos, porque o uno decide oponerse a requerimientos absurdos, o unirse a la masa. Cuando se enseña de forma extrema, claro. Lo que es bastante común. Creo yo... A mí, de niña, me "enseñaron" que los niños que morían sin ser bautizados iban al limbo. O que la gente que se suicidaba iba al infierno, por haber "arrojado a la cara" lo que les dio Dios, por dar algunos ejemplos. Y tuve una infancia normal.

Volviendo al libro, me gustó bastante, aunque hay partes que me parecieron exageradas y inmaduras. Me reí mucho, y también tuve pequeñas - y grandes - oleadas de compasión. Al final lo que el autor hace es simplemente analizar de manera chistosa algo que es tristísimo. Agregaré también que, aunque él lo ponga así, su tema no es solamente lo estricto de su religión: también tuvo muy mala suerte con la familia que le tocó y sus primeros años, creo yo. A mi parecer, se le juntó todo.

En fin, que lo recomendaría, sí, pero no a todo el mundo. Hay que tener sentido crítico, y también sentido del humor. Religiosos exacerbados o, simplemente, rigurosos NO disfrutarían con esto, y tampoco se permitirían entenderlo. Podría ser contraproducente para ellos y, bajo el prisma que en algún momento trataron de inculcarme también a mí, lo entiendo.

[Abby · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book at my parents' house in December when I was home for the holidays. My parents' house is not a fortress of great Jewry or anything, but Home With Family is certainly a Jewier place to be than, say, Apartment With Roommates (though not necessarily Aboard the 2/3 With Hasids from Brooklyn).

As noted by one of the fine ladies at Jezebel, reading Foreskin's Lament felt much like reading A Million Little Pieces, which is to say... rapturously confessional, a bit too showy. [Author: Auslander], whose work I always enjoy on This American Life, clearly had a difficult, if not impossible, youth, and clearly has some ongoing anger. He has a lot to get out, so thank goodness for creative outlets. I'm just not sure this qualifies as a memoir. To me, it's more of a confession, a shoving-off, of his past actions and thoughts. It made me curious to know more about the author TODAY, which I guess means I will buy more of his books as they come, which I guess is a success on his part. Hm.

[Cliff Etters · Rating 3 out of 5]

Even though it took me a couple of weeks to get through this book (I've a bad tendency lately to pick up and put down books, letting them go unread for as much as a week before starting them up again), I found Foreskin's Lament an entertaining read, though a little repetitve.

I definitely identify with the author, being brought up in the church (Southern Baptist/Methodist depending on the year), and wondering at the blatent contradictions and conflicts, yet being told that "God is great! God is good!" And my mother and his mother could probably get together and make a list of ways we've both disappointed them that would make even Mother Theresa revile us.

By the end I was laughing less, and nodding more. Like Shalom, the only way that I've been able to be happy with myself is to recreate myself away from my family.

After all they're much happier in Georgia, with their lives, and I am happier in Chicago with mine.

And that's why I think this book is one I'd recommend to my friends, it speaks to me and I identify with the author.

[D · Rating 3 out of 5]

The main character, Shalom, is raised by a dysfunctional family in an orthodox Jewish community. That leaves a trauma with Shalom, although intellectually an atheist, still fearing God. The latter is portrayed as an evil prick out to inflict the maximal damage on those of his followers that do not literally follow the numerous restrictions cooked up by 'sages'. And if God feels like it, he kills the other ones too. A good part of the book is filled with descriptions of how Shalom tries to haggle with God to compensate for 'sins'. This is often hilarious, although sometimes a bit repetitive. All in all, a very good and funny read which leaves one wondering how anyone can seriously believe in any 'revealed' religion.

[Juan Naranjo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Este libro explora, desde una perspectiva irónica y humorística, las dramáticas consecuencias psicológicas del miedo a los designios divinos en una persona criada en una familia muy religiosa.
Esta historia autobiográfica nos habla de cómo Shalom se enfrenta y se rebela contra todo lo que su familia y su sinagoga le imponen... pero como, muy a su pesar, tantos años de crianza en un entorno opresor hacen que esos miedos sean parte de su ser y estructuren todas sus decisiones y pensamientos.
Una ácida reflexión en tiempos oscuros llenos de cerrazón y radicalismos.

[Julius · Rating 1 out of 5]

La obra es una narración hilarante de la vida diaria de un judío ortodoxo, en la que todo gira alrededor de Dios. Pero no un Dios cualquiera, sino un Dios del Antiguo Testamento, déspota, tirano y cruel.

Todas las reflexiones, todos los actos del protagonista giran entorno al temor de ofenderle a Él. Hasta cuando le anuncian que va a ser padre, huye para esconder a su hijo y que no lo castigue.

Sin embargo, en cuanto a la narración, ese es su problema y su virtud. A mí se me hace muy plana, con una sucesión abusiva de episodios y explicaciones de conceptos judíos. Probablemente alguien que conozca mucho más esta religión, se identifique más con e libro u sonría con los cientos de guiños y pradojas que plantea el autor. Pero a mí no me ha enganchado, y me parece que el libro solo se basa en esa premisa. Lo he dejado al 20%.