Eat First, Talk Later

by Beth Yahp

In this riveting memoir Beth persuades her ageing parents on a road trip around their former home, Malaysia. She intends to retrace their honeymoon of 45 years before, but their journey doesn't quite work out as she planned. Only the family mantra, ‘Eat first, talk later' keeps them (and perhaps the country) from falling apart. Around them, corruption, censorship of the media, detentions without trial and deaths in custody continue. Protests are put down, violently, by riot police.

Her parents argue, while, lovelorn after the end of a grand amour in Paris, Beth tries to turn their story into a Technicolor love story. Meanwhile, she's embroiled in a turbulent relationship with an opposition activist, Jing, who is at the forefront of the democratic struggle for change; and in Australia, Beth's second home, she is dismayed to see politicians on all sides focus on turning back the boats, stopping queue jumpers, controlling the borders of 'the lucky country'.

Eat First, Talk Later is a beautifully written, absorbing memoir of a country considered one of the multiracial success stories of South-East Asia, with many fascinating but deeply troubling sides to it. It's a book about how we tell family and national stories; about love and betrayal; home and belonging; and about the joys of food.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Asian Literature

368 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 2015

About the author

Beth Yahp is an award-winning author, editor and creative-writing teacher of adults and children. She has published short fiction and travel and memoir feature articles in Australia, South-East Asia and Europe. Her novel The Crocodile Fury is translated into several languages and her libretto, Moon Spirit Feasting, for composer Liza Lim, won the APRA Award for Best Classical Composition in 2003.

Beth has worked as an editor and taught creative writing for many years, including at the University of Technology, Sydney, Macquarie University, the American University of Paris, and currently at the University of Sydney. She completed her Doctorate of Creative Arts in travel and memoir writing at the University of Technology, Sydney. She was the presenter of Elsewhere, a program for travelers on ABC Radio National (2010-11).

Author Lives In: Sydney, Australia

Reviews

[Vannessa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Disclosure: Beth Yahp is a colleague and friend.

This book is simultaneously a memoir, a family history and the history of a country, Malaysia. Yahp migrated to Australia from Malaysia where she was born, like many Chinese Malaysians who feel that the rulers of their country never quite accept them and continue to discriminate against them, because they are not of the Malay majority race. This racialised way of doing politics is partly a legacy of British colonialism. (Life during that period is discussed in the book in the framework of Yahp's parents' upbringing and experiences). However racialised politics has also been a convenient way for UMNO (United Malay National Organisation) to rule since merdeka (independence) until now, engaging in divisive racial policies and statements.

Yahp's memoir is no 'ain't Asians funny' like so many on the market (and on our television screens in Australia recently), but is a deep engagement with the often difficult personal history of her family as well as the turbulence of Malayan/Malaysian history from the 1930s until today. Yahp's involvement and that of her friends and lover, Jing in challenging that UMNO dominance through involvement in the Bersih movement, demanding fair and free elections in Malaysia, are covered the book.

So much of the book is also about her trying to understand her parents, Peter and Mara - Peter a Chinese man and Mara a Eurasian woman whose marriage was unconventional for a number of reasons. What made this couple tick and therefore what made her, are questions Yahp asks over the course of her book, which set out to recreate her parents' marriage and life back in Malaysia through a visit that Yahp and her parents conduct in Malaysia, retracing their lives in Kuala Lumpur, Penang, Pangkor Island and further afield. Peter and Mara prove to be headstrong in the face of their daughter's cajoling and pushing to take various trips to places that had supposedly meant something to them in the past. It's an exercise in examining how people remember and attach meanings (or attach no meaning) to places and times of their past. It's an unpredictable journey. Take part in the highs and lows; laugh, cringe, cry, along with Beth, Peter, Mara and the rest of the cast.

[Tien · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was the title that got me. It’s such an Asian saying that I couldn’t help but be interested by what Beth Yahp had to say. I seemed to be mistaken a lot in my expectations of books this year and this was one of it… I probably saw the word ‘memoir’ and immediately expected that it would be about the author but if I read the blurb properly, I would read in the last paragraph, “Eat First, Talk Later is a beautifully written, absorbing memoir of a country…”

Oops, I’ve mismanaged my expectation of the work and was therefore, utterly puzzled by it! To begin with, I was so very confused by the structure (not chronological!) and almost gave up for the frustration in trying to keep up with the back and forth and all around in time. About ¾ of the way through this memoir, I finally understood that this work wasn’t really about the author. Whilst she was keen to explore her background and family history, the heft of her work is related to her birth country, Malaysia; the history, the culture, the food (!), and politics.

Because I was more invested in finding out about her story and her family’s story. I found those section a lot more appealing though I had to muddle through the switches between times and was also perplexed by her love lives. Far be it for me to judge but it was something I do not understand so once more, I was driven to confusion. On the other hand, the topics explored on Malaysia was truly enlightening. Whilst I know and loved some Malaysian cuisine, it seems I barely know anything of the country itself. I also grew up in an East-Asian country and cannot deny my Chinese appearance / heritage so I understood quite a few things she underwent and some of the matters expounded.

Eat First, Talk Later is an exploration of Malaysia with snippets of author’s family’s historical links to the country. It was a struggle in making sense of certain timelines but as to the topics discussed, author was eloquent in her views and they were clearly articulated. I think I would have enjoyed this more if I didn’t have to puzzle out the timelines.

Thanks Random House Australia for eARC via NetGalley in exchange of honest review

[Helen · Rating 2 out of 5]

A complex memoir that dips and weaves between different characters and timelines while also providing a detailed history of Malaysia. Because of all these factors I found it hard to lose myself in this book. There has clearly been a lot of research undertaken, but the jumpy narrative style just wasn't something I could get into.

[nadiaizzaty · Rating 4 out of 5]

#nadianiabookreview
Beth , travel from Paris and stayed in Sydney . And , her parents migrated to Honolulu. This memoir is not solely about the journey of the road trip . But , it is a movement across continent, searching and self reflection in which place to be called as “home” .

“ Home is where the heart is “ - Peter

When they back to Malaysia for a road trip , the story of their journey will also brought you back to the memory lanes - where the history of Malaysia began . From the Kesultanan Melayu Melaka until Malaysia gained Independence on 31st August 1957.

Beth story will make you savouring Malaysia foods, knowing about Malaysia culture , languages , traditions and even bring you along exploring nice places in Malaysia .

Between the nice story , Beth layering the history of political upheavals - such corruption , censorship , detention , protests that happened since Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamed elected as a Prime Minister up to Najib Razak .

For me , this is a memoir that have been done quite details with information and thorough research about what happened in Malaysia . A fascinating book but quite controversial as well.

Rating : 4 / 5 stars
Bought the Book from : @gerakbudaya

After all , Malaysia still my HOME . I always love you Malaysia. 🇲🇾 🤗❤️
Selamat Hari Merdeka and Selamat Hari Malaysia to my beloved country ❤️🇲🇾 .

#trulybynia #flatlaysnynia #malaysianreadmalaysia #bethyahp #eatfirsttalklater #gerakbudaya

[Ken Richards · Rating 3 out of 5]

Beth Yahp's memoir just cannot decide what story it wants to tell. Is it the history of her parent's lives and love affair?Is it a family history? Is it the story of her own serpentine love life? Or is it a history of Malaysia and the struggle for democracy against cronyism?

There are elements of all of these stories woven into the narrative, perhaps like the complex flavours and ingredients of wonderful Malaysian cuisine, implied by the title, but lacking except in namedropping.

Perhaps overall it is a story of yearning to belong, to fit in but not being able to find one's place. It is enjoyable but imperfect, and it seems appropriate that I should have finished reading it more than a year after first borrowing it from the library. It was borrowed as an anticipatory taster prior to a COVID cancelled holiday in Malaysia, and completed during another COVID caused lockdown in poor old Melbourne.

[GenevieveAudrey]

DNF-ing at 63%

I picked up this book expecting it to be a tale of family, travel and food.... along the lines of Taste: My Life Through Food or Kitchen Confidential. While it was a dash of that, it also wasn't that. It turned out to be more of a philosophical treatise of Malaysian politics and history. Also Australian politics and life in France. 

When the author did tell us about her parents, their family, their history - it made for good reading. Even reading about Malaysia in her per-Independance days was fascinating.

Beth Yahp has clearly done a lot of research for this book. But the random, jumpy style of the storyline was rather disconcerting and I couldn't relate to it.

I thought I could knuckle down and complete it but this is clearly a situation of expectations being different from reality. 

[yipeng · Rating 3 out of 5]

This memoir wasn't what I expected as it delved into Malaysia's history interwoven with snippets of the author's life along with her parents' relationship as well as history. The narrative isn't told in chronological order, which makes it really hard to follow. Although it was a challenging read because of that, I did find myself learning more about Malaysia and have a deeper appreciation for it.

[Jamie Bridle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I know Beth, and I read it because I know her.

Having said that, this is a really great memoir with some really fantastic descriptions. I really learned a lot, both about writing itself and the subject matter.

It's not my usual cup of tea but has opened my eyes to the possibilities of story telling in memoir

[Karmun · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well-written, nostalgic memoir from Beth Yahp.
As a Malaysian Chinese who had emigrated to a foreign country, the themes of this book really resonated with me. Yahp's detailed storytelling brought me back to my own childhood and memories of my home country.

[Alice Yong · Rating 3 out of 5]

A memoir that tries to pack in too much within one book and somewhere along the route, her parents' love story sometimes got overshadowed amidst her personal life crises and phases, familial food-bound recollections, and the country's chronological political snippets.

[VinitaF · Rating 1 out of 5]

I got to page 57. Virtually unreadable. Completely lacking in context, constantly flipping around from topic to topic with poor transitions and sudden bursts of detail that leave you wondering why. I had great expectations of this book oh well.

[Christian Pajimola]

i need to read first

[Ray Zhou · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Beth for this well-written memoir about family, politics, and home. It’s a loving story that transcends history and language.

[JZ · Rating 3 out of 5]

A meandering memoir that weaves through Malaysian history, Australian politics, and complexity of identity. The leaps between time and place and characters are too frequent to latch onto, or deeply engage with, any one thread or person, but as someone whose family immigrated to Australia from Malaysia, and who lived in Europe, the moments and sketches of KL life and food, the contrast with Sydney and Australian attitudes to immigrants, being an expat in Paris, and questions of east-west identity and history hit like a gut punch.