Know the Mother

by Desiree Cooper

While a mother can be defined as a creator, a nurturer, a protector-at the center of each mother is an individual who is attempting to manage her own fears, desires, and responsibilities in different and sometimes unexpected ways. In "Know the Mother," author Desiree Cooper explores the complex archetype of the mother in all of her incarnations. In a collage of meditative stories, women-both black and white-find themselves wedged between their own yearnings and their roles as daughters, sisters, grandmothers, and wives.

In this heart-wrenching collection, Cooper reveals that gender and race are often unanticipated interlopers in family life. An anxious mother reflects on her prenatal fantasies of suicide while waiting for her daughter to come home late one night. A lawyer miscarries during a conference call and must proceed as though nothing has happened. On a rare night out with her husband, a new mother tries convincing herself that everything is still the same. A politician's wife's thoughts turn to slavery as she contemplates her own escape: "Even Harriet Tubman had realized that freedom wasn't worth the price of abandoning her family, so she'd come back home. She'd risked it all for love." With her lyrical and carefully crafted prose, Cooper's stories provide truths without sermon and invite empathy without sentimentality.

"Know the Mother" explores the intersection of race and gender in vignettes that pull you in and then are gone in an instant. Readers of short fiction will appreciate this deeply felt collection.

Genres: Short Stories, Fiction, Feminism, Poetry, Literary Fiction, Book Club, Flash Fiction

124 pages, Paperback

First published March 13, 2016

About the author

In Know the Mother, Cooper explores how sexism and racism continue to uncoil in the midst of life's most intimate moments. A former journalist and Pulitzer Prize-nominated columnist for the Detroit Free Press, Cooper uses the compressed form of "flash fiction" to tell an entire story. Slipping between poetry and prose, the 2015 Kresge Artist Fellow takes the reader to places where race and gender are unexpected interlopers--from a traditional Japanese market where a black woman shops with her newborn, to a law office where a woman miscarries during a conference call, to the middle of the night when spirits arrive for dinner.

Reviews

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

In a mixture of historical and contemporary settings, these 31 flash-fiction stories explore ambivalence about motherhood, and the ongoing racism in America. The opening story, “Witching Hour,” universalizes insomnia and worry through the first-person plural. The excellent “To the Bone” recalls Toni Morrison with its three generations of black women and references to down-home cooking. The slightly longer stories, buoyed by deeper characterization and multiple scenes, are often more successful than the snapshot ones, but her sharp insight makes Cooper an author to watch.

See my full review at Foreword.

[Mistinguette Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished reading “Know The Mother” yesterday. I am set back on my heels by the sheer beauty and strength of this collection of flash fiction about the interior of mothering, daughtering, being mothered or motherless.

Cooper’s poetic stories made me weep. They uncovered places I did not know that I needed healing. Her characters are like sand in my shoes -- both a little uncomfortable and evoking pleasure and warmth. Cooper is a deft writer: she uses sensual language without sentimentality, and risks "writing the other" in ways that rang deeply true. This collection is unexpectedly muscular and surgical and graceful. You will want to read these stories, teach them as literature, give them as gifts, keep them close to your heart..

[Ruth · Rating 5 out of 5]

At the risk of sounding hyperbolic, I wish I could buy this book for every reader I know. It's exquisite and powerful, each short short and flash story portraying a distinct and complex life and world. I made the mistake of thinking I could read it quickly, often finding myself in tears from its beauty, having to take breaks. Flash fiction may be short, but I've learned that when it's done right, the content is ever more potent. Cooper is a master of this form. Her language is filled with sensual hues, economy and strength. As a writer, I have so much to learn from the way she portrays each character through scene and action. I will be turning to this as a writing resource for years to come.

[Natalie H · Rating 2 out of 5]

Clearly a talented writer but the stories were a lot darker than expected. If this is a celebration of motherhood it is a celebration of all the things that can go wrong in life as a mother, daughter and wife.

[Andre(Read-A-Lot) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Know The Mother is a collection of ultrashort stories surrounding motherhood. Some of the entries in this well written collection are so short, I'm not sure we can even call them stories. Maybe meditations, observations, reflections on motherhood. That is not to say that brevity automatically renders these tales ineffective, but the shorter the story, the greater the chance they will lack the necessary impact to be dynamic. It is hard to develop a character in 2-3 pages.

Thanks to the prose, which is somewhat poetic there are some lofty points in this group of fiction. Stories like Reporting For Duty, 1959, which finds an Air Force Sargent in search of a hotel room after driving from San Antonio, TX to Tampa, FL. Touching. And there is a story, Night Coming that highlights an expectant mother and a reluctant father. Very vivid.

I'm sure readers, especially mothers will find some or many of these stories resonant. It is an interesting look at the travails of motherhood and mothering. 3.5 stars

[Mary Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

These flash fiction short stories can be read in a flash. But don’t. Take them slowly and let the characters stay with you awhile.

My favorite story: Requiem for a Dress.

Thanks to Desiree Cooper for coming to our book group to talk about gender, race, writing and waking up at 3 a.m.

[Julia (Shakespeare and Such) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5 stars, full review to come! I’m terrible at reviewing short story collections 😔 My favorites were Witching Hour, Reporting for Duty 1959, Night Coming, Home for the Holidays, and The Disappearing Girl.

Writing: 4/5
Enjoyment: 3/5

[Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A small book filled with delicious short stories exploring the complexities of mothers.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm giving this book three stars because, objectively, I can see it has literary merit. However, I didn't enjoy this book AT ALL. I'm not much of a fan of short stories to begin with, and most of these were so bleak I dreaded picking up the book every time I did. Only finished this because it was short and it's for book club.

[Pamela Laskin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just finished the very wonderful, KNOW THE MOTHER by Desiree Cooper. I just heard Desiree read at a Brooklyn literary salon, and her warmth, generosity, humanity, decency and integrity just emanates from this beautifully written book. There are very few books I can say are so beautifully written, but this collection of very short stories has diction which will blow you way over the moon. She understands the demands of being a wife, a mother, a daughter to sick and elderly parents, concerns which are my own, now and forever. For example, "Leftovers" begins, "The sun warms the windowpanes as I linger on the edge of a dream. Downstairs, I can hear Cassie squealing like a piglet and Brandon is not using his inside voice. I should go an see where David is. He is probably inside on the phone with his office." The reality? The mom's significant role, even when she is NOT in the house, not tending to the children. It felt like every other piece in his beautiful book, the concerns were so authentic. Cooper's credentials, too, are impressive: a Pulitzer-prize nominated journalist and Detroit journalist, who was once an attorney. She lives in Detroit, and it goes without saying she is very preoccupied with issues of racism in the place she lives in, so place becomes very important in this book.

I feel blessed that I could read it and share in this author's strong and lyrical voice. A must read!

[NE · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is not a book to read in one sitting -- this is a book to be cherished for a life time. The stories in travel through a woman's life. This is our book -- our rendition of "The Red Tent." These are our stories, a journey of what it is to be a daughter, mother, student, wife, professional. Each story needs to read, then read again, absorbed into our being, then picked- up again to be read. Each story will have a different meaning each time it is read in different phases of our lives. Even the nuance changes if one day you read it in the morning and the next day your read it in the evening, because by then you've had a chance to imprint your footsteps on the words.
A mother worries
A child worries
A woman worries
Our stories.

[Linda Sienkiewicz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a collection of flash fiction pieces - the longest story is 12 pages, the shortest is one - but each story packs a wallop. Desiree is a skilled writer who's adept at making excellent use of what is left unsaid, allowing her readers to complete the vignette. Each story is like a magic box, holding twists, sharp emotions, longings and uncertainties, fishhooks, briefcases, burros, blood, mothers, fathers, sisters and daughters. KNOW THE MOTHER is a book I keep on my nightstand when I want a little something before I sleep, something that lets me know I'm not alone. I also love the fact that I can pick up the book, open it to any page, and start and finish a story.

[Brandon Will · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cooper's skillful at precisely and profoundly showing the living histories that make up the ice-burg below the tips of the small moments her characters are experiencing. A grandmother going through airport security, a mother giving into a spa day gifted from her grown children, a young family being refused proper hotel service, a young girl who feels invisible and her mother who did at the daughter's age, a young teacher telling a joke to her class and the unexpected deep connection with a student that results from that--sometimes the moments themselves are profound, sometimes it's the winding history a banal moment brings out in a character.

Cooper's a master.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautiful book of short stories. I love the humanity portrayed and the everyday interactions that make up relationships. Though the details involve the ordinary of relationships, this book and its themes are far from ordinary. The important questions of life are wrapped up in the careful details of this lovely book. I am reminded why reading fiction is so important to me and to our culture. I love Desiree Cooper's prose and voice.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Emotional Rollercoster

This book took me on an emotional rollercoaster through womanhood and motherhood. I enjoyed that each snippet was short but filled with so much joy, pain, love, and care. This book isn't one of my typical reads, but I'm glad that I picked it up. It's a great read for all and easily enjoyable. Warning you may find yourself with watery eyes, that was my experience especially when I read Requiem for a Dress.

[Sean Kottke · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a superb collection of flash fiction and slightly longer short stories that comprise a kaleidoscope of vignettes of motherhood across centuries of African American women's experiences around and outside of Detroit, and across class lines. It would make a stirring paired read with Bonnie Jo Campbell's Mothers, Tell Your Daughters.

[Dona · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great Reading for a Rainy Day

Wonderfully written vignettes. Reading this collection was like sneaking a peak into the souls of other women, mothers, daughters and finding a glimpse of yourself.

[Fareeda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Over 30 vignettes, and each of them left me feeling some type of emotion. This collection of stories tackles racism and sexism, through the eyes of a woman, as well as the emotions women and mothers experience as they mother their children, parents, husbands and lovers. Great read!

[Shenelle Gaston · Rating 4 out of 5]

The stories have such a huge range, from extremely suspenseful, to warm and loving, I was amazed by the impact Desiree Cooper was able to deliver in such few pages.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

These are very short stories, but almost every single one was a punch to the gut. I reread most stories immediately after I finished them to see how she did it.

[Klj · Rating 5 out of 5]

These stories are amazing, haunting, gut-wrenching, and beautiful!

[Julie Topping · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every woman will read this book and recognize something about themselves. Everyone who knows a woman will be grateful for how much they learn about her in this book. Excellent read.

[Kathryn Kochunas · Rating 5 out of 5]

This collection of stories feels like a string of deep dives in the time it takes to dip a toe in a puddle.

[Shakarean · Rating 5 out of 5]

really quick, really great flash fictions surrounding the many ideas of the mother. i'm in love with this book.

[yunique · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome. Awesome read!

[M R · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was not expecting the short stories in this collection to be as short as they were, but that's not a bad thing at all. It's nice to see well-formed, concise stories done in a couple of pages or less. There were a few stories within that I especially liked: One Candle Left because there was a feeling of recognition in the child that sees their parents not quite on one accord and caught in the middle of the two; Queen of the Nile because C. Amelia King just seems like a badass and someone I want to be my friend; Reporting for Duty 1959 for it's subtle dignity displayed by Sgt. Douglas Carter in the face of obvious and despicable racism; Night Coming; Mourning Chair; Ceiling; Home for the Holidays for it's relatability; Something Falls in the Night; To The Bone; Requiem for a Dress which was sad. Overall, I enjoyed the stories and thought it was well-written, I would be interested to read something full-length or even just some of the stories a wee bit longer.

[Shelley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Have you ever read a book and thought, "Wish I'd written this?" Cooper infuses story after story with relatable characters and family situations. I liked them all and was moved by many, especially "The Disappearing Girl." Cooper expertly navigates the tricky relationship waters of mothers and their children, their mothers, their significant others, and with themselves (and other permutations). This is a topic I also explore in personal essays and memoir so I especially appreciated her deft use of language and ability to share so insight in such short pieces.

I was lucky to meet Cooper at the Interlochen Writers Retreat just a couple of weeks ago. It was a great pleasure to hear her read from this book and from other work. Her talent for observation and writing is evident on every page of "Know the Mother." I highly recommend it.

[June Powers · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a surprise in several ways. A friend who I have not seen in quite awhile, sent me this amazing book after attending a talk with the author - Desiree Cooper. I loved the book on sight. The cover is so creative. I am a big fan of unusual phrasing and poetic narrative that skillfully stays within the borders of story. Each story gives you a precise slice of a persons life, clearly pulling at your heart
all the while giving you information to store away in your mind. The global/cultural references made the reading all the more enjoyable and interesting. The stories flow gracefully, and the length of each one is appropriate. I am going to read the book again and look for others by this author.

[Bernadette · Rating 4 out of 5]

Desiree Cooper and I started our legal careers on the same day at the same law firm. She only stayed a few years, giving up the legal profession to pursue her passion - writing. I don't remember if she was a great lawyer but she is a great writer. I read this collection of flash fiction from cover to cover in a couple of hours, and then went back and re-read some of my favorites. Desiree is coming to the Grosse Pointe Public Library Books on the Lake series in May 2019 - read the book and go to the talk.

[Shelby · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was really good, another short story book but VERY short stories. I think that perhaps I'm reading too many short stories, and essay compilations lately because I really miss the feel of REALLY getting invested in characters. Which, to be fair happened in this, because the writing was amazing. Also I enjoyed the unspoken timeline between the stories, to where at the end they were about elderly mothers or grandmothers and at the beginning younger children. It really took you through life.